7 — Not Out of the Woods Yet
Chapter 7:
Not Out of the Woods Yet
Polaris’ gaze shifted downwards. He opened his mouth slowly. “Well... I guess we’re not camping here.”
A loud shriek ripped through the forest, causing them to wince, as the clouds descended further. Astrid looked at Trixie, and then to Polaris. “I think it’s best that we leave,” she said. “Right now.”
Trixie’s eyes shot back and forth between Polaris and Astrid. “What are wendigos? What’s happening?”
Polaris pulled Trixie up as he said, “No time to explain, miss. Astrid’s right; we need to leave.”
As she stood up Trixie noticed that clouds above them had begun to take the shape of a herd of malevolent-looking stallions. Their stormy manes and tails bounced as they circled faster and faster downwards. Silver eyes, alight with malice, stared down at them.
Another ear-piercing shriek, followed by a series of whinnies, broke out. The branches shook, raining needles and pine cones on them.
Her eyes widened as one of the stallions broke formation and charged at them. He was quickly followed by several more, and soon a whole slew of celestial stallions were stampeding towards the ground.
Polaris shouted suddenly, “Run!”
Before she even knew what was happening, Trixie was tearing through the forest, barreling through bushes and branches, following Polaris, and with Astrid trailing slightly behind.
They ran for a full minute, never slowing or stopping. Not even pausing to glance behind them. Polaris led the way, his hooves thundering against the ground as he ran through the woods. Not far behind, Trixie kept up a steady, but slightly slower, pace, keeping herself just ahead of Astrid, who was beginning to feel the effects of a full sprint.
She was much older than Trixie, and not nearly as strong as Polaris. Trixie could hear begin to draw ragged breaths as they continued on. But she didn’t look back. Astrid would be fine, she’d make sure that nothing happened to her.
She kept her eyes facing forward. She couldn’t see the wendigos as they closed in, but she could still hear them. She could hear their shrill winnies, and she could feel their chill breath upon her back. She galloped faster, leaping over a downed log and skidding into Polaris who had stopped and was staring down one of the wendigos.
A moment later Trixie felt another pony bump into her. She turned and saw Astrid, mane frayed and filled with leaves, right behind her. Polaris, without breaking his stare, called out to them.
“You two go on. I’ll hold them off here.”
Trixie was about to protest but Astrid beat her to it. “No!” she cried. “I’m not leaving you here.”
“I’m not either,” said Trixie. “You think that after all you’ve done for me, I’d leave you behind?” She laughed despite the danger. “I owe you more than my life, and I’m not going to let you die for me.”
He shouted angrily at her. “I’m not going to die! I’ll be fine, just get my wife outta here.”
Astrid put a hoof on Trixie’s shoulder. “We’re not leaving him,” she whispered.
Trixie grinned. “I know.”
Blue aura surrounded them as Trixie’s horn burst with magic. Sparking and sputtering, azure light poured from her horn, forming a dome that separated them from the wendigos. As the dome completed, Trixie began to breathe heavily.
Polaris whirled around. “What the—I told you two to leave!”
Trixie smiled weakly at him. “And we told you we weren’t going to.” She started to fall over, but Astrid caught her. “Heh, I don’t think I’ve ever managed this spell so completely before. Good thing it worked.” She slipped further and Polaris moved to catch her.
Propped up between Polaris and Astrid, she chuckled weakly. “Guess it took a little more out of me than I thought it would.”
Astrid smiled at her. “That was amazing, dear. Now we’re safe from those horrible wendi—”
A dull thud caught her off mid-sentence. They all looked up and saw that the wendigos had surrounded the magical dome and they were now kicking at it with their muscular legs. They kicked, and another thud echoed. A small crack appeared as they kicked a third time. Then it grew larger.
“We’re not safe yet,” Polaris said. He looked down at Trixie. “How long do you think you can hold them off, miss?”
“I don’t know,” she replied groggily. “Maybe... a few more minutes at most. I don’t think I can keep the spell up any longer than that.”
He nodded. “That might be enough.” Hooking his hoof through Trixie’s, he said, “Astrid, you grab her other side. When I say to, lift her onto my back.” She nodded and slid her hooves beneath Trixie’s belly. Meanwhile, the thudding grew louder as the crack grew larger. “Okay,” he grunted. “On three. One. Two. Three.” Pushing with all her strength, Astrid helped Polaris lift the mare onto his back.
“Will you be okay carrying her, dear?” Astrid asked worriedly.
“I’ll be fine,” he grunted. “Now, we’ve gotta get out of this forest.” Glancing over his shoulder he saw that Trixie’s eyelids were fluttering weakly. He frowned. “You need to stay awake, miss. Wrap your hooves around my neck and hold tight.”
As she snaked her hooves across his neck she criss-crossed them and locked them together. “I’ll be fine,” she whispered.
There was another echoing thud, and the crack spread another few inches.
Astrid shot Polaris a worried glance. “Will we make it out of here in time?”
“...I don’t know,” he answered gravely after a moment’s pause. “I don’t know.”
***
The crack had turned into a hole, and it was growing bigger by the second. Pieces of the magical shield chipped, broke off, and then melted away as the wendigos pounded on the dome. For the past five minutes, Astrid and Polaris had been sprinting through the forest. They had to keep slowing down their pace as Astrid became weaker and weaker. But they could see the edge of the treeline now.
The sun’s rays poured in, washing the ground in its warm light. They were only a few hundred feet from edge, but the shield wouldn’t hold much longer, and Trixie was fading fast.
Her hooves slipped off Polaris’ neck for the dozenth time, and she began to slide off. His right hoof shot out to catch her, and, with Astrid’s help, he pushed her back onto his back.
“We’re almost there,” he said. “We just need to hold out a little longer.”
A large chunk of the shield broke off, crashing to the ground where it melted into the earth. The wendigos kept up their barrage, now able to angrily fit their muzzles through the hole. Their cries rattled the barrier, breaking off even more pieces of it.
“I don’t know if we can hold out a little longer,” Astrid cried. “And even if we do, what then? We can’t fight them off like this.”
“At least out in the sunlight we’ll have a chance. In here, in this blackness, they have us beat. I don’t know what’s going to—”
He was cut off abruptly as huge slab of azure shielding snapped off, kicked in by one of the wendigos. Trixie groaned, and what little was left of the barrier began to flicker. The wendigos pounded tirelessly on it, nearly breaking through with every kick.
Polaris’ face hardened, and his hoofalls became more powerful. He lowered his head and charged towards the treeline, now a mere fifteen feet away.
Astrid struggled to keep up, inching further and further away from him as he gained speed. But Trixie’s dome held strong for the last few precious seconds until they burst through the last layers of fern and out into the open, snow-covered field.
Polaris’ eyes gleamed as the sun shined down on his face, and a smile found its way on to his face. Maybe a quarter of a mile away, he could see the Frozen Chasm, waiting for them with open arms.
He strained his neck to look over his shoulder as he shouted, “We made it! We’re throu—”
Just then, the shield finally gave way and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces, throwing Polaris off-balance.
Trixie was sent flying from his back as he flipped over. She slid through the snow, coming to a stop a few feet away.
Astrid, equally unprepared for the sudden destruction of their shield, was sent hurtling through the air, landing five or six feet away in a heap.
As Polaris rolled over, he saw Astrid and Trixie sprawled out in the snow. He cried out to them, “Astrid! Miss! Are you all right?”
Astrid didn’t respond, but he could see Trixie’s hooves moving as she struggled to stand herself up. A wave of relief washed over him. A wave that was quickly overcome by the wave of despair as the wendigos descended upon them, their fangs bared and their eyes gleaming.
He managed to kick one of them in the face, causing it to recoil, but only briefly. He backpedaled as quickly as he could. He tripped over a soft, warm object and landed on his back again. He looked to his side and saw Trixie’s eyes flutter as she struggled to stay awake. On the other side, he saw Astrid, eyes closed, lying motionlessly. The wind blew her mane about, and the snow had already begun to pile on her sides and face.
He looked back at Trixie as the wendigos drew ever closer. Alight with magic, her horn glowed brightly. She was fully awake now, but unable to stand. He watched as she tried to force a final bit of magic from her horn.
Before he could call out to her, one of the wendigos kicked his head and his vision went black. But the last thing he saw, before going unconscious, was a wave of light washing over them.
The last thing he noted, was that the light felt warm, pleasantly warm, and then he was out.
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Well, that escalated quickly.
Very good story so far
Where did Twilight come from?
Should that be Trixie.
>He nodded. “That might be enough.” Hooking his hoof through Trixie’s, he said, “Astrid, you grab her other side. When I say to, lift her onto my back.” She nodded and slid her hooves beneath Twilight’s belly.
Why must this story be so epic? Now I have to wait "Forever" for the next update!
No, not a cliffhanger! My only weakness!
1728787 1728791
Fix'd
Thanks for pointing that out. I feel a little silly that I missed such an obvious derp.
you are evil but that is okay i know trixie somehow tapped into her reserves... unless of course she is using life energy right now then she might be in some trouble
1728846
Wow, I didn't expect you to write so much when I asked you to give your thoughts.
I agree with you on a lot of points, in fact, pretty much all of them. I've been thinking that the dialogue was a little bland, and lacking. And that the characters felt flat, especially Spike and Twilight. Rushed, I can agree with as well, because I've been thinking the same thing, however, that'll take some major changes to fix. Finally, I agree wholeheartedly with the "slow start" bit. It is, a very slow start, and I think this fic suffers for it. I might have to go back and make some changes, and, hopefully, many additions in order to flesh out this story a bit more.
Oh, and one more thing, the cliffhangar at the end of Chapter 6 felt forced to me too, but I do have a reason for why Twilight felt the need to drop everything and rush to Emerald Falls. (Hint: Remember that Twilight already knows that Trixie is safe, for now, since her most recent letter would take place after the wendigo incident. So, perhaps she read something in the letter that points to an even greater danger that she has yet to face? Hmm, that sounds like a good way to start Chapter 8... guess we'll have to wait and see...)
I think they'll be all right... I hope they'll be all right.
They'd better be all right.
1728647
Coldest temperature
Uhh, probably something like -5ishF. I'm an American. We don't believe in the Metric system.
My excuse for why Trixie is so frigid, is that she's exaggerating because she's unaccustomed to such cold. Also, she doesn't know how to deal with it, whereas Astrid and Polaris do, because they live there.
No skiis because that's too easy...
Light that feels pleasantly warm...I'm thinking that sounds a lot like the Princess of the Sun.
*GASP*
Oh. I didn't realize the Wendigo incident is in the past from Twilight's point of view. This story suddenly makes a lot more sense.
Anyway, another good chapter.
1700189 For a second, I couldn't see the 'R'...
Also, you're fast, huh?
It's always either Regidar or this guy with donuts for his avatar. One or the other, all month. Thanks for breaking it.
ohgod i remember seeing that movie
wonder how much resemblance this fic bears. carrel is a genius.
Loving this so far, I'm going to keep an eye on this!
>no romance tag
>Trixie and Twilight are both involved
>instant thumb up and favorite
1729305
Heh, despite the clear similarities in the titles, this is in no way related to Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. Yes, I know. Sad isn't it?
Uh has everyone forgitten the spell twilight just used, its obviously her (last chapter I mean)
1729814
Don't forget, Trixie's storyline takes place about a month before Twilight's. Remember, she hasn't sent the last letter yet, and Twilight already has it in the "present".
1704573 1684624>>1705064 Like to point out that if the episode was any indication, this story could be canon.
... Now I should read it so I seem like less of a dumbass.
Look at the cover pic. Give it a good, long look.
Now think this: "Those aren't pine cones."
----
Interesting story so far.
I'm wagering a last resort, teleportation spell.
Damn good chapter!
So my only real question is why doesn't Trixie know what a Wendigo is? Has she never seen a Hearthwarming play in her entire life nor had someone tell her about one in any detail?
The question doesn't really contribute to the scene, anyway. You could just change it to a shocked "Wendigoes?!" and not change the pacing.
And so we met, my fellow cliffhanger
1731094
maybe she didn't even care?
She may have heard of Wendigoes, but seeing as they were trying to kill her, decided not to think about it.
Poor Trixie and company.
1731094 My take on this: she was panicking. In a situation like that its possible, that the obvious answer just skipped her mind.
Once again a good chapter, first so action-packed in the fic if I remember the other chaps correctly. A interesting take on the magic shield you presented here: a semi-solid object created purely of magic, that can be damaged and destroyed, at which point it dissolves into nothing. The scene with Trixie being carried by Polaris sort of reminds me of something, but I’m not quite sure of what exactly, probably something I saw in a vide game or some such.
And the ending to the chapter… well, I’m going to be honest here: a good cliffhanger is good in my book. Besides, that was the best place you could possibly end the chapter anyway.
1729973 I know it was meant in a sort of sarcastic tone, basically I was poking fun at all the people guessing what it was
And now we're suddenly back in the heat of action again, and you're showing your worth splendidly. The wendigoes are pretty frightening, and you manage to get across the ponies' fear very effectively. Sure, it could benefit from some more flesh on its bones here as well, but in the heat of the action you do not want to slug things down with unnecessary descriptors.
It's somewhat confusing how you seem to be shifting pov between Trixie and Polaris, however. You start with Trixie and end with Polaris, and I can't really tell when you switch - and there sure isn't any indicator of it anywhere, either.
In any case, things just keep getting more interesting now.
//N
1732406
POV Shift
Ah, well that shift occurs right after Trixie performs the shield spell. You see her become very weak and unable to stand. Now, it stays in a fairly loose third-person omniscient for the entire chapter, as is the case with most chapters, but the last few paragraphs before the scene break slowly shift to Polaris' POV. Then, after the scene break, we are seeing things fully from his viewpoint, because, as of now, Trixie is half-unconscious on his back. So, more or less, the switch occurs after the scene break, which I thought was the best way to go about it, but you might disagree, which is fine. Regardless, I appreciate all the comments. It's nice to see some constructive criticism, especially when it seems to point to the fact that the chapters are getting better. I can only hope to continue that trend.
I hope that, by the end of this, my writing will have improved simply from the experience of writing an adventure fic for the first time, and I'll be able to go back and bring previous chapters up to whatever level of skill I achieve.
Thanks again,
~alexmagnet
1732955
That makes a lot of sense, of course, but I still feel like the transition is a bit vague. Good to see you're getting your ambitions on, though! Always nice to have a clear goal to march on towards.
I am enjoying the hell out of this, but I thought I'd say something. Due to the events of Magic Duel, it would be a good idea to have an Alternate Universe tag, since this no longer has any ties to canon.
1733523
That's probably a good idea. Since this is no longer canonical, I suppose an AU tag would be appropriate (as several people have suggested). I'm just hesitant to put one on since I feel like it would be off-putting to many readers. I rarely read AU fics, for example. For now, I'll just leave it, but that may change later.
1734567
Okay. AU tags generally throw me off too, so maybe it would be a good idea to keep it off.
1729668
Not to mention the protagonist... found out... that he had been getting letters... and didn't know about it...
You're torturing me.
1741277
And here's where I reveal that I've never seen that movie. Sorry to disappoint you...
Have some best pone as an apology.
i46.tinypic.com/2zh3ath.png
1741323
Yes you are, Trixie. *pets*
Another great chapter; and of course a cliffhanger.
1731408 I think he's basing it off of the way Shining Armor's shield broke in the S2 finale.
1735094 If there's a grimdark story, I instantly mentally add an AU tag to it, since anything grimdark is going to skew severely from the canon no matter what.
I hope Trixie somehow teleported them somewhere safe. But I know we have to wait awhile to find out. I will be waiting.
Hah! This is awesome! Onward next chapter
Its people like you that keep me from sleep.
Well done sir!
And a lovely chapter!
Guessing it should be 'hear HER begin' in there? :3
um this may seam silly but instead of a dome (because she is not that great of a user when it comes to that sort of magic) would not a honey come style of shield be better? I only say this because to me it would seam that it would use less power even if it was a little harder to get started the honey come would act as a shock absorber and spread the attacking force over a larger space there by lowering the attacks over all effectiveness( plus just from a style stand point would look bad ass
) o and that way its not one big shield but a lot of smaller ones making them stronger over all or I could simply be thinking way to much into magic and shields when I should just read and have fun
I finally got round to reading more of this.
Some mistake I've noticed from this chapter:
Option 1: Trixie could hear her self begin to...
Option 2: Trixie could hear them begin to...
*from the edge,...
*hold out much longer,"...
*as a huge slab...
--Sollace
I find it a bit unlikely that they'd be doing much talking in a situation like this, especially if it wasn't absolutely necessary, but aside from that well done.
Final burst of magic from Trixie? Or new person? Given Trixie's state, the latter seems more likely. And if it is true, I'm looking forward to meeting mystery savior.