22 — Simply Signal S.O.S.
Chapter 22:
Simply Signal S.O.S.
“Welcome back to the real world, Trixie Lulamoon.”
Her voice was like a muffled chorus of metal scraped against metal, harsh and biting, though it did not match the look on her face. The cloaked mare stretched out her thick metal limb in offering, a slight smile on her face.
A cold chill ran down Trixie's spine as she grasped the mare’s hoof, but she was careful not to let it show. Through the haze of her half-wakened state, she could just barely make out muted light streaming through a grime-covered window, and guessed that it must still be daytime. Steadying herself on a heavy wooden table, she brought a hoof to her forehead and lightly massaged her temple.
“Ugh, my head,” she moaned. “It feels like I was just beat with a log.”
The mare appeared unfazed, merely spinning around to scoop a carved-wood cup off a small table. The liquid inside the cup sloshed around as she held it out for Trixie.
Warily, Trixie eyed the contents of the cup with a raised eyebrow. It smelled like lavender, but it could’ve been anything for all she knew. “What is it?” she asked. “Another potion?”
“Tea.”
Trixie’s brow furrowed. “Tea?”
She nodded. “For your headache,” she said, nodding towards the hoof Trixie was currently using to rub her temple.
Still cautious, though more than willing to rid herself of this splitting headache, she took the cup in her magic and held it up for inspection. Everything seemed fine, though, it was hard to tell given the general lack of light in the area. Deciding that if this mare had wanted to poison she would’ve already had ample opportunity, Trixie tipped the cup against her lips and let the warm tea slide down her throat.
Her eyes shot open. Sputtering and coughing, she nearly choked as the acerbic liquid hit her tongue. With a grimace that even the most disgruntled donkey would’ve been jealous of, she held the tea at arm’s length, sticking out her tongue in disgust.
“That is most certainly not tea,” she said.
Trixie could’ve sworn she heard the mare chuckle, but the look on her face was unassuming as usual. The only indication of mirth she gave was the slight twinge in the corner of her mouth that threatened to spread into a fully-matured smile.
“Bitterroot,” she said, pointing to the cup. “It’s lavender tea mixed with bitterroot. It's a natural painkiller,” she explained.
“Ah, I see. That would explain why it’s so, err, bitter,” she said, thinking that ‘bitter’ was not nearly a strong enough word to describe the taste. More like, pungent, or acidic. Setting the cup aside, she said, “Yes, well, perhaps I’ll finish it later.”
“You will not cure your headache by not drinking it,” the mare said with hints of a smirk hiding behind her expressionless face.
“Maybe so, but Trixie is not particularly interested in burning her tastebuds off just yet.” She could still taste the stuff in her throat, and it made her lips curl into an unpleasant frown. Deciding to ignore it as best she could, she nodded at the window where light was still trickling its way inside. “How long was I unconscious?”
“Only a few hours,” the mare answered. “Though, you were not unconscious, merely asleep, experiencing a dream-like sate. A vision, if you will.” She approached the previously indicated window and unlatched it, throwing it open to let more light stream in. Now illuminated, though no more expressful, her face remained distinctly unreadable.
“So, that was a dream?” Trixie asked more to herself than the mare. “But... it felt so real.”
“It was real,” she said. “More metaphysical than you're used to perhaps, but no less real than you or I.”
Trixie shook her head. “But you just said it was a dream.”
“I said it was a dream-like state, not a dream. A minor, but important, distinction I might add.”
Trixie ran a hoof through her mane subconsciously, then looked down at the brooch on her chest. She placed her hoof on it and felt the edges of the gem against her skin, allowing its coldness to permeate her body. She bit her lip, then looked to the mare. “If it was real, then...” She trailed off, looking back down at the brooch.
“Then you know what you have to do,” the mare finished for her.
“The most powerful unicorn who ever lived,” she said quietly, barely more than a whisper. The mare pretended not to hear. Clenching her teeth, and squeezing the brooch, she nodded, more to herself than her. “Yes, I know what I have to do. What I’m meant to do.” Steeling herself, she straightened up and locked eyes with the mare.
The mare’s demeanor suddenly shifted, and a smile came over her face. “Well then, allow me to point you in the right direction, Trixie Lulamoon.”
It was surprisingly beautiful day outside. The sun shone warmly across the land, and not a single cloud was to be found in the sky. There was even a light breeze that kept it from becoming too hot. None of this, though, made Trixie feel any better.
She ground her hoof into her forehead, trying to drive the headache from her mind with sheer force. With a pitiful moan, she quietly regretted not drinking the rest of the tea she had been offered. As horrid as it had been, she would still have gladly taken that over this skull-splitting migraine.
Walking along the dirt path, her cape’s fringes dragging along through the rocks and gravel, fraying and tearing more with each passing day, she couldn’t help but wish for the hundredth time she still had her mobile-stage. Losing that had been a major blow. Still though, it had been nothing compared to the blow to her ego losing to Twilight Sparkle had been. All that would change soon enough though, and she would become more powerful than any unicorn in existence. Although that would mean she would be doing exactly what the Eye told her to do, she decided that it was a small price to pay for absolute power. Besides, she could still do whatever she wanted once she had that power, so it wasn’t like she was just doing as she was told anyway, at least, that’s what she told herself.
She did her best to take her mind off the intense headache by letting her eyes wander around, mulling over what the Eye had told her. Finally, after a few minutes, she spyed a small lake off in the distance. Her heart soared. The water would help soothe her aching head, and besides, she needed to refill her waterskin. It was running low and she suspected that she had long journey ahead of her.
As she trotted through the grass towards the lake, she recalled the mare’s last words before she left.
“North,” she said. “You’ll be going North from here, to a small town nestled in a cozy valley, called Hoofington. It's merely a simple trading outpost without much to its name. Most ponies leave when they're young, but the ones that stay often become merchants or craftsmen due to the lack of any other jobs being available.”
Trixie frowned. “Yes, I’ve... been there before.” Her hoof moved to her brooch again.
“Ah, good. Then you’ll know it when you see it?” the mare asked.
Trixie nodded, though, with a glazed-over look in her eyes. “I don’t think I could forget it if I tried.” She chuckled mirthlessly.
The other mare noticed Trixie’s behavior, but said nothing of it. Instead, she continued, “There’s a smithy located on the far side of town, past the mill and around where the river curves to the northeast. The master there will help you in any way he can. He is a good man, and he can direct you further, perhaps even give you some supplies for your journey. But be warned,” she said, her face suddenly becoming grim. “You mustn’t stray from the path when you leave here. The road to Hoofington is safe enough yes, but wander too far and you may find yourself in deadly peril. Bandits and thieves roam the countryside, preying on unsuspecting passersby.”
Again, Trixie nodded. “I’ll keep an eye out,” she said, only half-believing that there was truly any danger. She turned to leave, pausing for a moment at the door. Turning back around, Trixie said, “I... thank you—” She stopped. “I don’t even know your name.”
The corner’s of the mare’s mouth curled into a sly grin. “You never asked,” she said. Trixie opened her mouth to protest, but realized that she hadn’t ever asked. “It’s all right. I understand,” she said. Placing her steel limb over her chest, she dipped her head ever-so-slightly in a miniature bow. “I am Nadir.”
“Nadir,” Trixie repeated. Nadir gave a subtle nod. “Thank you, Nadir. Thank you for everything.”
“Nadir...” she mumbled under her breath, as she approached the lake. She came to the water’s edge and leaned over, peering into the shallow waters. She saw her reflection staring back at her, ragged cloak flapping lightly in the breeze and brooch glimmering in the early-afternoon sunlight. She smiled. “Thank you.”
Taking a deep breath, Trixie puffed out her cheeks and dunked her head in the water, immediately deciding that coming to the lake was the best decision she'd ever made.The cool water brought a wave of relief over her, and put her headache in a choke-hold, forcing it into submission. She relished the feeling, but soon had to breathe and so pulled her head from the water, throwing droplets through the sky and creating a stunning rainbow that lasted for the briefest of moments before dissipating.
She brushed errant strands of her wet mane from her eyes, tossing it back over her shoulders and soaking her cape. With her face upturned, she stood for a moment, simply enjoying the feeling of the sun on her face. She let out her breath slowly through her nose, her eyes closed.
“What’cha doin’?” The voice was small and childish, with just a hint of songbird-like quality.
Trixie’s neck nearly snapped due to how fast she turned to face the owner of that playful voice.
Sitting, half-submerged in the water, was a pony, her front-legs crossed in front of her, supporting her head as she lazily rocked it back and forth, a mirthful grin playing across her face. Trixie shook her head. Clearly she must be seeing things. Opening one eye slowly, she saw that the pony was still there, her grin transformed into a look of amused perplexity.
“You look silly,” she said, giggling. “How come you’re shakin’ your head like that, silly?”
“Because you can’t possibly be here,” Trixie answered resolutely.
“Why not?” Her voice grated against Trixie's ears. It had such a sweet-sounding, sing-songy quality to it that made her sound like a petulant child.
“Because I didn’t see anypony else when I walked over here, and I didn’t hear you coming, so you must be some kind of hallucination brought on by this insufferable migraine.” She fell back on her haunches and squeezed her head between her two fore-hooves, pressing on either temple. She rubbed circles around them, assuming that that would somehow excise this impossible pony from her sight. Try as she might though, the pony remained there, now happily blowing bubbles in the water and giggling as they popped.
“What’s a migraine?” the pony asked, looking up from her bubbles.
Trixie sighed. “It’s like a really bad headache,” she said. “And apparently it causes extremely vivid hallucinations.”
The pony chuckled, covering her mouth with one hoof. “I’m not a hallucination,” she said after a moment. “Here, I’ll prove it.” Before Trixie could say anything, the pony spread both her limbs out and brought them crashing down into the water like a pony tossing a skipping stone, only with less skipping and more splashing.
Cold water washed over Trixie, and this time it felt decidedly less relieving, and much more aggravating. She shook her head, throwing water everywhere. Doing her best to straighten out her mane, she let it all hang in front of her so she could squeeze the water from it.
“I wouldn’t bother,” the pony said. “It’s just gonna get wet again anyway.”
“Not if I can help it,” Trixie mumbled. Tossing her mane back, Trixie gave the playful pony her best glare, but it didn’t seem to faze her. She merely smiled that same stupid smile. “Fine,” Trixie said, giving up. “You win, you’re real.”
The pony clapped her hooves excitedly. “I win! I win!”
“Yes, yes, you win. Now then, come out the water so you don’t splash me anymore,” Trixie said, waving the pony out of the lake. Despite Trixie’s insistence, she didn’t move. Her face curled into a small frown.
“I can’t,” she said sadly.
Trixie groaned. “And why not?”
“‘Cus my dad told me not too,” she said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “He says I’m just supposed’ta come up here and talk to ponies, but I can't leave the lake.”
Trixie’s eyebrow rose up. “What? Why?”
“He says seaponies aren’t supposed’ta leave water, ‘cus we need the water to survive.”
Trixie rubbed her temples again, trying to clear away the migraine because she had clearly just misheard what the pony said. “Did you say... ‘seapony’?” she said, sure that she was about to be corrected.
The pony, or rather, seapony, smiled happily. “Yup!” She rolled over in the water and flashed her dull green tail, using it to splash the water, soaking Trixie again. She giggled, and offered a half-sincere apology. “Whoopsie, my bad.”
Trixie was dumbfounded. This migraine was really doing a number on her. “But this isn’t even the sea,” she said. “This is a lake! Shouldn't you be... lakeponies or somehting?”
“Yeah, I know right!” she said, suddenly ecstatic. “I keep telling my dad that we should call ourselves ‘lakeponies’ but he doesn’t listen." Her face lit up, and she wriggled her tail happily. "Maybe you could tell him that! I bet he’d listen to you.”
Trixie held out a hoof, doing her best to silence the seapony. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, I’m not telling your dad anything,” she said. “Look, I’m kind of in a hurry, so I really should be on my way. But, it's been, err, nice meeting you.” With that, she gathered herself up and turned to walk away.
“Wait!” the girl cried. “Don’t go! Come swim with me.” She splashed the water desperately trying to get Trixie's attention.
Trixie turned back around and saw a look of utter sadness cross the seapony’s face. For a moment, she almost felt sorry for her and was about to say something when she came to her senses and told herself what a ridiculously bad idea that was. “Sorry, but I really must be going.”
The seapony lazily floated on her back. “The water’s really nice,” she said in a sing-song voice. “It feels really good.”
Trixie hesitated, wanting to turn around and walk away but feeling herself strangely wanting to take a dip in the lake with the odd seapony. She debated the pros and cons to herself, meanwhile keeping an eye on the girl. She had almost made up her mind when she saw a wild look come over the seapony.
Her eyes lit up with excitement as she dove into the water with the agility of a barracuda. A second later, she resurfaced with a fish in her hooves. Smiling happily and licking her lips, her eyes flashed as she bit into the fish ravenously, tearing it apart in a bloody mess. Trixie’s eyes practically exploded out of head with how wide they grew.
She was rooted to the spot. She couldn’t look away as the girl ripped the fish apart, throwing bloody scales everywhere. For a brief moment, she saw the girl’s mouth was lined with a hundred tiny teeth, all razor-sharp and thin as blades of grass. Her heart was beating itself out of her throat now, so she swallowed it back down. After a few seconds, the seapony had finished her meal and smiled a bloody smile at Trixie.
"Mmm, fish are so tasty," she said sweetly, though more to herself than to Trixie.
"What exactly did your dad tell you to do again?” Trixie asked.
The little seapony licked her lips clean, then said, “Oh, he told me to come up here and talk to ponies who come to the lake.”
“And then do what?” Trixie asked, biting her lip nervously.
“Y’know, just try to get them to swim with me,” she said nonchalantly.
“For what purpose?”
“Because swimming is fun.”
“No other reason?”
“Well...” The seapony brought a hoof to her chin and tapped it thoughtfully. “I suppose there is another reason. But it’s a secret,” she said playfully, putting a hoof over her lips and making shushing sounds.
Trixie felt like she knew where this was going now, and she almost couldn’t bring herself to ask what that reason was. She gulped and slowly started to back away from the lake’s edge. Keeping her eyes trained on the seapony. “I see, well, it’s been lovely talking to you and all,” Trixie said, holding a fake smile as she retreated, “but maybe we’ll see each other again soon.”
The girl giggled. “Heehee, probably sooner than you think.”
Trixie stopped, tensing her legs in preparation for a quick escape. “What do you mean by that?”
She backstroked in a circle, not looking at Trixie as she said, “Oh nothing.” Spitting a stream of water out in a fountain-like spout, she sat up in the water, then nodded. “Okay, you guys, you can take her now.”
Trixie felt two shadows looming over her. “You guys?” she repeated. “Who guys?”
“Us guys,” came a gruff voice from behind her.
She turned around just in time to see two muscular seaponies, balancing on their tails and holding tridents, before there was a loud ‘thwack!’ and stars exploded in front of her. Darkness overtook her as she fell to the ground.
As the two stallion seaponies picked her up and began dragging her limp form into the water, the girl waved at her, saying, “Night, night, sleepyhead!” Then she disappeared beneath the glassy surface of the cold lake, leaving no trace of her, nor Trixie's, existence.
A single raven, on the opposite shore of the lake, picked at scraps from a small pile of bones, some as thick as a pony's leg before giving a sorrowful caw and flying away.
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Welp, here it is, Chapter 22... really friggin' late. Sorry, guys. I was hoping to have this out like a week ago, but due to multiple things it was delayed. Some of those things you may have already seen. Another thing you'll hopefully be seeing tonight, and fourth thing which you'll probably see tomorrow, and a fifth thing which will hopefully be up in the near future. That is the one I'm most excited for. I'll even give you a hint as to what it's about.
Trixie x Predator
As for this chapter, well...
As always, I look forward to your comments, and please, if you have any questions, criticisms, or hell, even compliments, don't be afraid to voice them. I try to respond to all questions and criticism.
Also:
"Shoop-be-doop"
There, I beat you all to it...
~alexmagnet
(oh, and by the by, this chapter takes place after "Revelations")
Ooo, nice kid. Bet she gets the wishbone....
Why add this chapter here? You already have several things occurring at the same time, why add this now? I mean it is interesting seeing where Trixie went before Twilight started following her, but I thought that was the point of Twilight investigating, so we could see where she went and what occurred. You try to build tension with this scene and make the reader feel like Trixie is in trouble, but we already know she survives since this occurred before she headed north and therefor all the tension is lost. If she learns some type of important information here that needed to be added, then why was it never hinted or mentioned before? It feels like this chapter was placed out of order and was meant for sometime earlier, or maybe even for Twilight rather than Trixie.
Poor Trixie...she finds out that being kidnapped by the drakes was just a prophetic vision, then she gets kidnapped by seaponies. The Great and Powerful Trixie would greatly appreciate it if the author would stop having her get kidnapped all the bucking time!
Okay, so... the drake thing was a vision?! This is the 'real' thing? I'm confused.[/legit] And I agree with this: 2397779
2397745
No, it happened, and is still happening. This is in the past.
2397765
Fair complaints, but I'll direct you to this from Chapter 20:
“Well you’re doing a fine job so far,” Trixie said. She flashed him a quick smile. “This is easily the best prison experience I’ve ever had.”
So yeah, it was foreshadowed a little bit, albeit not very obviously. Then again, perhaps I didn't want it to be obvious. That being said, I do realize that it is a lot to follow all at once. But believe me, I do have my reasons.
2397779
She's very kidnappable it seems.
2397865 But by now, this is probably her reaction in a nutshell!
Whelp, this confirms my hypothesis that seaponies are evil.
Any creature that would sing such annoying songs has to be pure demon spawn.
*tosses cyanide capsules and lit sticks of dynamite into the lake, then charges a 10 million volt cable and drops it in* FRY YOU UNHOLY SARDINES!!
All right, clearly I fucked up because everyone seems confused by this chapter. So allow me to clarify.
The reason Nadir says "Welcome back to the real world, Trixie Lulamoon." is because I was requoting what she said at the end of the Chapter 13: Revelations.
Trixie reached up, grasping the metal claw. She felt the metallic coldness against her skin, and it made her shiver inwardly, but she took care not to show any outward signs of discomfort. As she pulled herself up, the mare gave Trixie a shrewd smile, saying: “Welcome back to the real world, Trixie Lulamoon.”
The intent was to provide some context so as to not confuse people, however that plan clearly backfired as people are assuming that everything that happened in the last few chapters was a dream.
The dream Nadir is talking about is the dream Trixie has where she speaks with the Dragon's Eye and it tells her to head North. I'm just now realizing in retrospect how easily this could be confused for her saying the last 6 chapters were all a dream.
So, to clear things up. This chapter is a past-Trixie chapter. It happens before Trixie ever even meets Polaris or Astrid. It's the start of her journey North, and it has already happened by the time Twilight gets the first letter.
I honestly like how you're doing this story. It makes it seem as though no one, not even the characters, know what is going on.
2398036
I figured it was in the past but can see why it was confusing. Maybe a quick indication that she is having a flashback and then putting said flashback in italics so we can tell the difference between present time and past events.
2398260
Well, see, it's not really a flashback, per se. I mean, I've talked about this before in comments, but Letters From a Friend at the End of the World is told through non-linear narrative, which means that every chapter takes place with in its own "present", occasionally flashing back within itself, but never flashing forward.
So, in short, I won't be italicizing the past-Trixie sections, because that would literally be italicizing entire chapters. I try to help keep people situated by doing a bit of set up at the beginning of each chapter so as to provide context and let you know where you are in the story's timeline, but there's only so much I can without flat out saying "Hey, this is the past, just fyi." Plus, I usually comment on the chapter as soon as I upload it indicating where the chapter falls if I think it'll be confusing. Basically, I'm trusting you guys, the readers, to be able to pick up on clues I leave behind so you don't get lost. If you still are lost, then that's a failing on my part, but I'm doing the best that I can.
Not lost, loving the nonlinear thing
, it's hard to do and I think you're doing really well.
The only problem I have now is that there are 2, count'em TWO, cliffhangers to wait on...
As an aside, I'd love to see a story about Nadir. She seems very, well...very. It'd be a lot of fun to explore her past, see how she got where she is---maybe how she lost her horn?
I'm personally more in favor of interleaved simultaneous story lines rather than letting one play out to a particular point then showing us the other and then back again.
2398476
Well that's relieving to hear... Glad I'm not being too confusing.
Two cliffhangers aren't enough I say. Let's make the next 8 chapters all end on cliffhangers too, and all be taking place simultaneously. It'll be a huge cliffhanger hoagie. Imagine the relief when all of them are resolved at once!
Y'know, I've actually thought about doing that. I really like her as a character, and that's why I tried to make more than just a one-dimensional plot device who is a catalyst for Trixie. I wanted her to have her own wants and needs, and a past that made her who she is now. So, doing something to expand her backstory sounds really fun, and I may just do that at some point, but on the other hand. I like how mysterious she is. She implies a lot about her past, but without ever really giving any concrete details, and it's that element of mystique which makes her so intriguing. I'm not sure I'd want to take that away. Still though, an adventure fic featuring her and Lager going on a quest to do... whatever, could be really fun.
Should've known it would be Kelpies. That is what lake ponies are .
Unlike the one chapter I complained about, this one works nicely because the opening of the chapter gives a very clear starting point (Nadir's hut) and because Trixie's part of the timeline has been non-sequential from the start. It's pretty easy to tell where it goes chronologically though it does take some of the sting from the cliff-hanger. And the way the sea-pony started out cutesy but slightly off and built menace was well-handled.
2398952
Aren't Capricorns half-goat?
2398827
Well, I'm glad you liked it, especially the bit with the seapony. I tried to make sure it was clear that there was something slightly off about her, and then when she eats the fish it all hits you at once that Trixie is completely boned. Only, she's not really because we know she survives, though, we still don't know exactly what happens. So there's still some small element of mystery.
2398952
2398988
Capricorns are half goat. Saying these are capricorns would be as accurate as saying they're mermaids. The fish-half is right but the rest isn't.
Perhaps you meant they're acting like Kelpies or one of the other (many) water dwelling spirits that drown travelers?
At least they weren't a nuckelavee:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuckelavee
2399054
Oh holy hell! Those things sound terrible! I would never put those in my story!
*writes down the wikipedia link in a notebook right next to "Ideas for Chapter 23: Trixie Calls Upon the
SeaponiesNuckelavees"*Man, now I know what not to write about.
2399155
If it helps you know what not to do, there's a lot of great art here:
http://bogleech.com/nuckelavee.html
2399192I just looked at your link and EEWWW them's nasty.....
2399422
Mythology is a lot more interesting (and gruesome) than most people give it credit for. Nuckelavee, for example are generally considered fairies. Yes, fairies.
2398352
I think I said it already, but I'll repeat nevertheless - the story is brilliant
Also I like non linear narrative too. It is the second story with deliberately non-chronological narrative I found here (the first is Survivor Shy, although I followed it on deviantart long before it was published on fimfiction) and both stories are great.
errm Drakes are present or Seaponies?
Meanwhile, in the past...
Your story is now weird and convoultued. We have Twilight in the present or near future chasing Trixie (her letters indicate that she has found/close to finding the end of the world), with have Trixie in the present or near past (compared to Twilight) captured by drakes and we have Trixie in the past (compared to everything) captured by sea ponies.
Have I got that right?
2400146
Drakes = present
Seaponies = past
2400661
Yep, you've got it. Heh, it is convoluted, sure, but I do have a method to my madness. A chapter or two ago, another person made a comment suggesting that it would take Twilight months to catch up to Trixie. They were worried that it would I would deus ex machina Twilight to the End of the World since she would be there far too late. However, it's never said exactly why Trixie took so long. These past-Trixie chapters are meant to show her journey, and her growth as a character, all while catching Twilight up and having her learn these things as we do through Trixie's letters.
So basically, yeah... it's convoluted. But hey, you're doing a pretty good job keeping up so far, right?
2400769
So far...
Nah, my brain is a pretty twisted and convouluted place anyway.
2400769
I see. Thx!)
I was a bit... ugh..OK! I was kinda lost there
I need to practice my English more often
That's... really creepy, but I like it.
2400769 well at least we will know that she makes it through this lol
I don't mind going to the past at all but it would help if there was a slight hint, maybe italics? Anyway MOAR MOAR MOAR!
well, i guess trixie got the bad ending
Curse you backlog! I've been meaning to read this story since I saw first chapters published, but finally found time for it just yesterday... Thank you, author! This has been an awesome ride so far and I cannot wait to know what fate awaits Trixie in future, especially after the whole 'god'-thing teasing.
Despite what some other readers have said, I had no problems transitioning between present and past chapters. On the contrary, I think you have done great job with balancing Twilight/past Trixie/present Trixie viewpoints. There's enough mysteries and unanswered questions in present Trixie chapters that made me eager to read about her past and not to treat it as a filler.
Just like it was noted in-story, appearance of Applejack and Rarity in the middle of nowhere several hours away from the nearest town seems awfully suspicious. Are Fluttershy and Pinkie also going to join the party in future? (I'm not asking for spoilers, just thinking aloud
) Leaving them out seems unfair and could potentially unbalance Mane 6, but bringing them in would destroy any attempts to pretend this is just a coincidence.
Speculation time: Goddess Trixie from the future is manipulating the past, setting up a chain of events that will lead to her ascension.
Aggressive seaponies from the last chapter reminded me of sirens from Lunaverse.
2404700
Hmm, yes I suppose that is another interpretation, though it's not the one which will be explored later on. I won't spoil anything, but you can expect that magic to have repercussions. And yes, reckless use of magic is sort of a theme, although, it was really more geared towards the theme of self-sacrifice. A theme which plays a major part throughout the story.
The whole "should we kill it" scene did feel a bit contrived to me.
Yeah, I can see it feeling that way. A lot of that comes down to a bit of poor pacing on my part. It is a tad rushed, I'll admit.
2405100
Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it. It's always great to hear that my ridiculous time-jumping shenanigans are serving their purpose by making the plot more complex rather than cumbersome. As for a possible appearance of Pinkie and Fluttershy, I won't say anything one way or the other, but I will say there is a very specific reason for choosing the characters I chose. With regards to your "speculation", all I'll say is: nothing, not a damn thing... heh.
Ship-boppity-zebop. I win.
Damn flesh-eating seaponies. I need to develop some headcanon for them.
As a person who is depressed and suicidal for some reason i find myself strongly drawn to the character of Trixie. Like her i'm also on my journey to The End. Although i do not seek a new beginning when i get there. Her loneliness, her misguided hate, her need to do something rather than let things be mirror a lot of my own feelings. I have also come to realize my issues are not the caused by others, they are my faults and mine alone.
I wish say this story has touched me very deeply in a way i didn't think was possible, a testament to you as a writer.
I don't know if i'll see the end of this story before i reach the end of mine, but if i don't i want you to know you've moved me to tears (in a good way).
Thank you very much for putting these words to paper (digitally anyway). I eagerly await the next installment.
I am enjoying the story so far - one small hiccup isn't worth fussing about. I think that it might also be the delayed nature of the reading - if one were to sit and read from the beginning, the callbacks to the previous chapter might have jumped out a bit more.
Very much looking forward to seeing how this all turns out!
Looks like people are complaining about jumpy changes of the story timeline , however I think it's unique and somehow enjoyable.
Love this story, and hoping to see more soon
I just started reading this story last week and finally caught up to the latest chapter (22).
For the most part I'm satisfied with the story and I like the premise: Trixie writing to Twilight over the course of a year and changing her perspective as she does is very interesting and cool (because I enjoy it when authors allow her to redeem her character in some way).
One thing I really noticed in this story that has bugged me all the way through, though, is that Trixie's personality is very flat and uninspiring when she's not acting in her capacity as the mean-spirited Trixie we know on the show. After all she's been through, and all you could infer from her experience with the dangers of traveling alone to perform on the road, she seems a bit naive, unobservant, completely angst-free, and easily fooled – not to mention fairly easily knocked out without a fight. I keep expecting her to engage more in any of the scenes she's a part of and to show a bit more moxie and even a little angst, which she wouldn't naturally lose even if the anger that drives her to hate Twilight did evolve for the better. For a story in which Trixie is (or seems to be) the main protagonist, she doesn't seem nearly as active as she should be. It's more like she's in a river being swept downstream and occasionally jumps out to stop for a break. My observation, anyway.
FWIW, the timing involved in the chapters didn't bother me at all, but then I read this story more or less all the way through, and I've read many novels with this kind of time shift. The shifts should be obvious the way they are, but then not everyone is used to them.
A few things gave me some odd feelings:
~ Right now, Trixie's transition from hateful to nearly serene is a bit abrupt. Maybe with later chapters added, we can see more of her evolution to a "nice pony", but right now it's a heavy switch. I think you might have missed an opportunity to intersperse the chapters with some of her letters, as a way to show this progression (among other reasons), but working chapter to chapter would probably have made this a lot more difficult...?
~ Trixie seems remarkably unfazed by the illness and treatment of her companions, rarely voicing any concerns on their behalf. One even appears to be dying in the cavern, yet no one seems at all concerned. This kind of thing isn't natural.
~ For the most part the story pacing is decent, though sometimes it's a bit rushed as in the manticore scene.
~ "You know, you’ve been writin’ that mare as long as I’ve known you, but I’ve never seen you get any letters back. So why is that?” – How was she ever supposed to get any letters from anyone as she traveled from place to place to the edge of the world? I really thought Trixie would say something about that...
~ The Mane6 girls helped Nadir with the manticore – she even asked them for help – yet they stated twice that she helped them, which I thought was odd.
~ Nadir brought Twilight into the hut to talk to her, and offered... nothing that she couldn't have said outside around the others. If there's a different purpose revealed later on, great. But otherwise... perhaps Nadir was just checking to see if Twilight could talk to the Eye? Hmmm...
~ There were a few other things, but they were all fairly minor like this, that I remember.
Oh yeah, and just for fun... Unless I missed something, I'm getting the impression that Nadir is a unicorn, and not an earth pony. That jar in the hut... Hmmm. Just a thought.
With all that said, I have enjoyed the story. You've added some interesting elements into the story, such as the various characters and creatures Trixie confronts, and kept the Mane6 characters mostly in character (if a bit conveniently placed in the later scenes). Overall I like this story and will keep reading. Nice work.
2434769
This right here, this is the kind of comment I love. It's clear you put a lot of thought and effort into this. Thank you, seriously. It means a lot to me. Now, if I may respond to a few complaints.
>Trixie's flatness
Aye, It's something that I've been a bit worried about, but no one had really pointed it out, so I wasn't all too worried. However, that being said, part of the reason she's so inactive is because she's relying on her companions to help her, something which you'll see more of in coming chapters. It's all part of her growth as a character who, in the beginning, is fiercely independent, and then grows complacent, relying almost too much on those she surrounds herself with, eventually striking a balance between the two later on. It wouldn't be very interesting if she had already completed her character arc as soon as the story started, now would it? Although, I will agree, she's perhaps too inactive.
>Abrupt transition
Ah, well, that goes back to the way the story will develop over time. Now, I could've told this story in a linear fashion, where we see Trixie's growth as it happens, but that wouldn't really work in conjunction with Twilight's perspective. Trixie's change may seem abrupt now, but we'll see how it grows over her journey as more past-Trixie chapters reveal her transition.
>Unfazedness (pretty sure that isn't a word...)
Yeah, I've got no artistic reason for that. It's something I do mean to address more, and I will do so in the future. Don't worry, she does care, I just haven't done a good job of showing it.
>Pacing
Yep, I'd agree. It's something that's easy to point out in hindsight, but can be difficult when writing it. Though, I do try my best.
>Speculation
Heh, I feel I've hinted at the truth enough that anyone who's paying attention should be able to figure it out.
>Conveniently placed Mane 6 cast
All I can say is, perhaps it wasn't so convenient...
Anyway, thanks again for the comment, and especially for how great it was.
2436113 Thanks, and you're very welcome. I'm glad you got something out of my long-winded review.
Yeah, it's easy to speak retrospectively about a story, but I understand from the efforts I've made, myself, that writing fiction isn't an easy process. FWIW, you're doing well (translation: I am enjoying the story).
2407894 Heh, I never got notification of your reply.
Or maybe I just forgot and meant to wait till now to reply. 
Oh well.
I can definitely see how a magical screw up could lead to the need for self-sacrifice to fix things. I really hope that twig comes into play somehow. You know, the twig Twilight carelessly teleported into somepony's brain?
Anyway... I finally finished catching up and give you props for a job well done thus far.
I would consider retroactively rearranging the chapters a bit once you're done, but not because the non-linear timeline is at all hard to follow. In fact, I think it needs to be mixed up more. There are several sensibly contiguous chapters that, if I'm recalling correctly, could stand to be broken up. 
Comments for this chapter:
I guess it's fine, but disconcerting nonetheless.
It's kind of disconcerting having Trixie being in mortal peril twice over. If things could somehow have resolved with Trixie future before getting hairy with Trixie past... idk.
And on the area of knowing that Trixie will be fine, yes, we know she'll make it past the Seaponies (For reasons of my own, I like to think that they actually aren't Seaponies, but some twisted, evil lake version.), but don't we also know that she'll make it past the Drakes? Assuming that her vision from the Eye was correct, fate has deemed that she at least make it to that snowy field (or even to beyond the mountains. I'd have to read the vision chapter again to say) before death, right? So, if you were in suspense wondering about the end, that kind of spoils that. However, I'm all but certain that this story is more about the journey than the destination, so knowing such things about the end is irrelevant.
This is a free grammar and spell checker.
If you will copy and paste your chapters into her before posting, it will show you all the little things you can do to clean up your story.
You have a very interesting story. I enjoy reading it. But, you're almost as bad as I am with the typos. That site is the next best thing to a good editor.
My brain hurts!
2397865
If it makes you feel better I picked up on it.
I really don't get what's so "confusing" about this story; it makes at least as much sense as a dollar (word play!). But then again, I've read Homestuck, which is a good deal more convoluted, without much issue, so it could be argued that I'm used to playing on Expert mode, as it were.
2397583
Sir! I take great offense, sir!
The polite phrase is "shoo be doo." This is slang for "shouponi benthis dumoi," roughly translated as both "trust the sea" and "be wary of the sea."
"Shoop-be-doop" is just vulgar, and I am shocked and appalled that you would even write such a thing!