Then Everyone was an Alicorn

by CluelessBrony

Intermission: Blueblood

Blueblood sighed as he sank deeper into his bubble-filled bath. His day had been tough, and he had earned this. That mare who he had never met before had insulted him, and even worse, she had slapped him! He was a prince, princes don't get slapped! He had half a mind to find out who she was and ask auntie Celestia to let him execute her. That would show her!

All this revenge plotting was making Blueblood thirsty. Picking up a bell with his magic, he shook it a few times, producing a clear sound. The bell was used for summoning his servants, and sure enough, the sound of hooves started to come from down the hall. The door opened up, revealing a white-coated servant with a brown mane. Her cutie mark was a feather duster.

"Yes, Prince Blueblood?" she inquired. Blueblood motioned with his hoof to a glass that was standing on a nearby counter. This servant is not worth wasting my precious energy speaking to, he thought. The servant nodded and picked up the glass in her chestnut-coloured aura of magic. It wobbled a bit, a nervous look appearing on her face. That's right, wasn't she an Earth Pony before?

The glass stopped wobbling, and the mare wiped her brow. After taking a quick bow, she trotted out and left to refill his drink. Took her long enough. He had been counting her time in his head, and she had gained a whole two seconds on her serving time. Heads would roll for this.

The servant returned a few minutes later, holding a glass of iced tea in her magic. She placed it on the counter, giving Blueblood a small bow and turning around. "Ah ah ah," Blueblood said, "You can't leave just yet. Does it have a straw?"

The mare nodded. "Yes, prince Blueblood."

"Two ice cubes?"

"Yes, prince Blueblood."

"Does it have any lemon in it?"

"Um... no, prince Blueblood."

Blueblood scoffed. "What?! No lemon?! Bring it back, fix it!" he shouted.

The mare looked afraid. "Y-yes, prince Blueblood! Right away, prince Blueblood!" she stuttered out. She picked up the glass and scurried out of the room.

"The nerve of some ponies! What type of barbarian drinks iced tea without lemon?! Do I look like a peasant?"

Blueblood picked up a rubber ducky that was floating around in his bathtub. Using his magic, he flung it at the door, expecting it to bounce off. However, everything did not go according to plan as the door open, revealing the servant walking in with the glass of iced tea in her magic. The bath toy collided with her face, causing her to lose control of her magic. The glass fell from her grip, but was caught by Blueblood's golden yellow aura.

"For the record, I'm not sorry. Also, you dropped my drink, and are fired."

The mare burst into tears. "Please, sir, I need this job! I have a foal, I can't afford to be unemployed!" she cried, desperately trying to get her job back. "I only just learned magic! I'm sorry I dropped it, it won't happen again!"

Blueblood rolled his eyes. Typical. Everypony he fired always whined for their job back. He had heard plenty of "but I have a foal!"s, and plenty of "Please, I need this job to pay for my mother's medication!"s. A pony had once offered him a emu in exchange for a maid's position. What would he even do with an emu, anyway?

But Blueblood was feeling compassionate today. "Fine, you may keep your job. But expect double shifts and a pay cut."

Well, compassionate for Blueblood's standards, anyway.

"Thank you, sir! I won't let you down!" the servant exclaimed. Blueblood nodded his head, waving her away with a hoof. He took a sip of his iced tea. He spit it out immediately, however.

"Hold up!" he shouted just as the mare turned to leave. "You didn't replace the ice cubes! I can't drink lukewarm iced tea! It's not called warmed tea, is it? No! Replace it! Do it again!" He threw the glass at the maid, who just nodded and ran back down to the kitchen. "Imbecile," he muttered.

After a few minutes, she came back up with a fresh glass, looking annoyed and gritting her teeth. "Here you go, prince Blueblood. I hope everything is to your liking," she spat out.

Blueblood just took the glass and lifted it to his lips. He took a sip with a thoughtful look on his face. "Hmm... I'm not sure what it is, but it doesn't taste like it should. Fix whatever it is. Chop chop! What's your name, anyway? I need to know your name if I want to fire you, after all."

"My name is Feather Duster! Not servant, not peasant, and definitely not stupid filly! Go ahead and fire me, I'm sick of this stupid job anyway! I've had enough of you!"

Blueblood glared and gritted his teeth. "How dare you talk to me that way! I am your superior, you're not allowed to address me as that!"

Feather Duster just glared back. Suddenly, a smile spread across her face, and she lifted up a hoof. "What are you do-"

Feather Duster proceeded to knock Blueblood unconscious.

---

Blueblood wearily opened his eyes. "Ugh, my head..." he muttered. He looked around. He appeared to be in his walk-in closet. He also appeared to be hanging upside down from the ceiling. With duct tape. The prince let out a scream.

"Help me!" he shouted.

The light flicked on, revealing Feather Duster and the rest of his maids, servants, and helpers, all grinning wildly. "Hello, princey!" Feather said.

"Get me down from here!" demanded Blueblood.

"Sorry sir," she said, "but I did tell you I wouldn't let you down!"

With that, the helpers filed out of the closet, turned off the light, and closed the door.

Comments

[Kage no Brony]

Feather Duster; scaring Bluebloods straight since 1993.

You go girl.

[kingtiger666]

Stop being so mean to Blueblood! You're so mean! You big mean meany pants!

[An A10 Warthog]

1733723 A lot of them never seemed to make sense to me. So, they grabbed something out of their folder of 'cutie marks' and called it a different pony.

[I Am Known As Sketchpad]

Oh my that was amusing.

also: fourth?

[Pinkamina Diane Pie]

Yes. So much yes.

He deserved that sooo very much.

[The Unwritten Scrypt]

Feather Duster, after leaving the closet:
geckosbark.com/wp-content/uploads/Fuck_Yea.png

Blueblood, after no one comes to his rescue:
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/003/619/Untitled-1.jpg

He's probaly too stuck up to use his own magic to untie himself...still, would have been better seeing him fall from the canterlot walls into the valley below, forgetting he has both wings and magic to help him.

[CluelessBrony]

1734688
It's duct tape, man. Loads of it. Not even magic can get him outta that.

[Avenging-Hobbits]

Well...he's screwed.

On another note:
Y U NO USE TRIXIE TAG?!

[CluelessBrony]

1734787
You seem to enjoy pointing out errors. Want to proofread?

[CluelessBrony]

1734803
What are you talking about? Trixie's been there the whole time...

Sssshhhhh.

[G S tol Kriaal]

Whoa! I caught up and faved this like two hours ago, and now there's an update. Un-f**king-canny

What would he eve do

You dropped an n

[CluelessBrony]

1734974
Fixed

[batran]

1734584

how do you like it when your a servant of blueblood?

[CluelessBrony]

1734584
HEY. DID I SAY YOU CAN SPEAK? YOU ARE BENEATH ME, SERVANT.
GO GET ME A BOWL OF GRAPES. PEEL THEM, AND REMOVE THE SEEDS. NO, YOU CAN'T BUY SEEDLESS.

This is the typical day in the life of one of Blueblood's servants.

[Avenging-Hobbits]

1735120
static.tumblr.com/ieshlom/WQlm7sd96/shaun.gif

[blazikenking]

And now we shall witness Blueblood being rickrolled for the next 3.14 years.

[Xuncu]

YES.

[Dozy Dreamer]

Duck taped to the ceiling.
Winged pony.
Taped to the ceiling.
I'm not sure what would be more amusing - getting Blueblood down, or seeing how little fur/feathers he has left after someone does.

[Marioland1]

1737653
I don't know how much would remain, but I know I'd laugh at him. His actions deserve it well. Ah. Sweet, sweet revenge.

[CluelessBrony]

1738104
Holy Celestia I hate that Blueblood. He's got a special space in my next story he won't be too happy with, either.

[Marioland1]

1738112
And I'll be watching on, stalker I am. *insert creepy laugh here*

[oberon]

1735643 Actually, 42 years. Sorry.

[blazikenking]

1740023 Let's hope he doesn't find the answer to life, the universe, and everything within that time span. Also, being rickrolled for 42 years straight seems a bit harsh. I say add in this song at random intervals.

[ColdGoldLazarus]

Feather Duster is best pony.

[Shadowflame]

HA! SUCK IT, PRINCE BLUE-BLOOD!!!

[PinkiePieGirl]

i don't drink tea so IN YOUR FACE BLUEBLOOD!!!!!!!!!!! nice, Feather Duster, nice (Very ironic name)

[oberon]

1740924
Nah, nothing's too harsh for Blueblood, after he did this:
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv5f97kP3Y1r757rdo1_1280.png

[Forefront1]

Finnally I hated that guy hahahaha!

[CluelessBrony]

1745220
She was the epicentre of the blast, which is the reason she lost her horn.

[blazikenking]

1744194 Yes. We must figure out how he got .1 points.

[Organized Chaos]

Oh God the memories... makethemstopohgodit'shorriblePinkiePiewhywouldyoudothat?OhnonowRDisdead.Really?youcouldn'tbecontentedwithherfleshandnowyou'restuffinghertobeyourfriendforever...ohgodthepain...

That was my one-word reaction to the end of that chapter.

[ShadowBrony]

%$#& yah. That was cool

[Swirling Line]

i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee270/Asriel16Asi/My%20Little%20Pony%20Friendship%20is%20Magic/Twilight-clap.gif?t=1298575444

[Silent Ghost]

*gets to Blueblood's whining about his iced tea, cocks gun*

yup, you're gonna die, Blueblood

*gets to part where Feather Duster ties up Blueblood in closet*

you did good.

[bahatumay]

I'm... I'm more than ok with this, actually.

[StormbadgerXIII]

Justice well served.

[iloveportalz0r]

LEL