“Mighty kind o’ Princess Celestia to lend us her personal carriage for our honeymoon trip!” Applejack clinked her glass against Rarity’s, its champagne long since drained and refilled with Apple Acres’ finest cider. “One o’ many, I guess, but still a right nice weddin’ present. And them pegasus guards looked mighty fine, too! Gold armor gleamin’ in the sun an’ all. Sure was nice of ‘em to watch over the ceremony, too.”
Rarity smiled and arched an eyebrow. “Developing an eye for fine stallions now, my dear?” She traced a hoof across the gold ring dangling from her new bride’s necklace. “A little late for that, I believe.”
“Nah, I ain’t got eyes for nopony except over-dramatic small-town seamstress types.” Applejack reached down to kiss the flawless white hoof and set her glass aside. “Especially that hot one in Ponyville with the diamonds on ‘er flank.”
She began to kiss her way up the hoof, hot breath from her muzzle warming the soft fur of the perfect foreleg in her hooves, pausing only to ascend the alabaster neck whose every curve and contour she knew so well. A low moan from the unicorn was followed by a hoof to her own chest, pushing her slowly but firmly away. “Now, now, AJ, my love, be patient!” Rarity took a deep and shuddering breath while holding the farmer at arm’s length. “It’s but a twenty minute ride to the skyship port, you know. It’s a six hour flight to Prance for the honeymoon, and we’ll have a private cabin for the trip. We’ll have plenty of time for this,“ she said as she leapt into a brief but fiery and wine-tingled kiss, “later.”
Near breathless, the orange mare bit her lip and sat back, grinning. “That a promise, sugarcube? I’ll dang sure be holdin’ you to it, then.” She reached for her glass, lifting it in toast and added, “In the meantime, hon, if I ain’t said it before – welcome to the Apple family!”
“To family, then!” Rarity drained the little remaining in her own glass and lay back against the carriage’s gilded seats. A distant and wistful look shone in her eyes. “I’m glad the Apple clan could make it to the wedding. I was afraid asking them to gather again so soon after the last family reunion would appear too great a burden.”
“Naw, they’s all family, and that’s what we do. The Apples’re a close family, if a little spread out.”
“I am glad we could tie the knot while your dear Granny is still with us, AJ.” Rarity sighed and stared out the carriage’s half-shuttered window. “My own grandmother passed away some years ago. I doubt Grandma Finery would have approved of our union, though. She was a city mare through and through. Detested the ‘country life’ and earth ponies in general, I’m quite sorry to say. Now, Great Grandmother Filigree was a different story – wise and honest, no-nonsense yet always kindly. She lived in Manhattan almost all her life but I remember her telling stories about her father. We came from a line of miners, did I ever tell you that?”
“Miners, Rare? Seriously? That would explain part of the gem-findin’ skill, I guess. All farmers on my side. Granddad Baldwin died before Mac and I came along, but Granny Smith’ll tell the family story to any pony unlucky enough to ask. Lessee, how’d it go? Great Granddad Stayman and his dad Newton were ornery cusses, all mean streak and no give. Newton hisself was a bandit, they say, doin’ more robbin’ than farmin’. And his poppa Foxwhelp weren’t no prize, neither – a real pushover and gullible as a blind goat, if’n Granny told the stories right.”
Lights of passing stars above and passing towns below reflected in Rarity’s azure eyes as she continued staring out the window. She put a hoof to her chin and squinted a little as she said, “Well, I can’t recall tales of banditry from my own ancestors, or anything else exciting, for that matter. Great-Great Grandfather Steelton was one of the miners, you see. Great Grandmother Filigree was one of almost a dozen foals of his, and they saw him only infrequently. His own father, Cobalt Scratch, was a miner as well. Neither were well off, so I’m told, though they managed. They lost track of many of the uncles and aunts and the family tree is a bit muddy before that point.”
Easing an arm around the unicorn, Applejack chucked gently. “Funny you should mention muddied-up family trees, Rare. I do remember Granny tellin’ stories ‘bout the family line before Great-great-great Grandpa Foxwhelp. See, the way the old story goes, Foxwhelp’s daddy weren’t no Apple at all. What was the fella’s name? Spartan, that was it, and his poppa Redstreak. I heard long years ago that Spartan and Redstreak were from some other clan entirely, but their momma had a fallin’ out with her folk, and changed all their names to Apple. That’s where the Apple family began – kicked outta some other family for Celestia-knows-what, some seven or eight generations back.”
From ahead of them a strong voice called out, “Touchdown at skyship port in five minutes, repeat, ETA at port is five minutes.”
Rarity started to speak, stopped abruptly, then spoke slowly. “That’s odd. Aunt Demiglace once told me a similar story. Before Great-great-great Grandfather Cobalt, the line sprung out of nowhere because the family name was invented out of whole cloth. Before him came a stallion named Carbon or Graphite or something, and before him was a mare named Jacinth… something. Jacinth Clutter, maybe? Mother was Topaz, if I remember, and it’s the same story. Had family problems and left to start her own branch. Dreadful development, but so long ago, no pony alive remembers what the issue could have been.”
Applejack turned to face Rarity and furrowed her brow. “Rarity – how’d you know about Topaz?”
Confusion showed on Rarity’s face as her gaze left the window and locked on her wife. “How did I know what, dear?”
“About Topaz Clutter. That’s the mare Granny said started the whole Apple clan, when she left her old family and…” Applejack’s eyes grew wide and her voice dropped to a loud whisper. “Rare – did Jacinth Clutter’s momma come from a small town past th’ Appleloosan Hills, a village by the name o’…”
Their voices echoed in chorus, “Windy Pass.”
The rushing of air past the windows and the steady flap of pegasus wings fell away as an eerie, palpable silence overtook the carriage. Seconds dragged by like hours before the orange mare gulped audibly. “Rares, please say you ain’t thinkin’ what I’m thinkin.”
A twitch began in the unicorn’s eye. “That we may have just un-forked our family trees? I’m afraid I am thinking exactly that, dearest Applejack.”
“So that makes us, what, exactly?” Applejack reached for her near-empty glass but found it snatched away by a flash of magic.
Rarity drained it in a single shuddering swallow. “Eighth cousins, by marriage, twice removed. Twilight could check my math but I believe that’s the essence of it.”
“But no blood relations, right, sugar?”
“None. Though let us promise never to see this mapped out, shall we?”
With a gentle rumble the carriage alit in a wide, flat plain, where a large skyship could be seen lowering a boarding ramp in the distance. “Departure in sixty seconds,” called the pegasus drivers as the Royal Carriage began rolling to a stop.
“Done. Like I said, sugarcube – welcome to the Apple family! Or, uh, welcome back, anyway.”
Another update today? I swear, you are trying to kill me with awesomeness overload. ;p
[Edit] Now that I finished reading... lol. Nice one, that's all I can say. XD
HAHAHA o the drama
I must say you clearly make it up to us for that cliffhanger and for that and for that awesome story thank you
That last line is fantastic. XD
Well... that was interesting. Now post a clop of the honeymoon!
That last line is just perfect.
1877326
Don't, don't do that.
1871397>>1876414>>1876430>>1876458>>1876489>>1876490>>1877071>>1877086>>1877099>>1877155>>1877197>>1877647
Many thanks, all! Glad you enjoyed it. I have a chapter or two more in the queue, though not necessarily set after the wedding.
1876492
The bit about the Oranges is close to my headcanon as well. Something they saw or heard while she lived there made them not want to be part of her later life - this is as good a reason as any.
1877326
Don't count on it. Maybe one day I'll try it, but not today. I might poke the boundary of saucy and hawt occasionally, if it asks nicely. If I ever do a clop sidestory, I'll post it as a separate story entirely so I can mark it as Mature while keeping the parent story rated Teen.
the smile i am currently wearing has stuck itself on my face with such strength that i can't remove it
halp?
INBREEDING!!! Lolz I want moar
I also want moar LLTM
Oh wait
Wrong author I think
Sorry
Gods I am such an airhead
You are the author of LLTM. I swear sometimes idk how I got into a gifted class. I guess the continuity didn't add up in my head. Egghead and Featherbrain Twidash plus LLTM Twiluna from same author equals error in my mind, I guess.
1878895
Many thanks! No need for sleep deprivation, my chapters only average 1000 words. Sheesh, next you'll be asking me to do haiku!
Rustic Farmer's hat
Romantic Fashionista
Orange and white bliss
Egghead unicorn
And Featherbrain pegasus
Perfect shipping pair
Night Princess needs friend
Finds lonely librarian
Little Spark loves Moon
1879070
Glad you liked it! I'll screw up the continuity more when I release my DashFire and (sorta) SoarinDash fics. Then I'll have to start marking continuity stories with an "Official Luna's Librarian Universe" medallion.
1878157 Hmmm, deal.
1879243
Show off. Stop writing haikus and write more actual chapters.
That was good glad there is more to it but that ended on a good note Looking forward to the epilogues. I wonder if there will be a true love foal between them
I had missed the last chapter update and when I decided to read it I got a major D'AAAAAWWWWW bomb... only to have it followed up by the fact that Aj and Rarity are distant cousins! Oh, the new year is SO full of surprises.
Applejack and Rarity are related?
1881203
Done!
1885832>>1885845>>1885996>>1886295>>1886403>>1886440>>1886461>>1886921>>1887805>>1897526>>1897539
Many thanks, glad you enjoyed it!
1895388>>1886461>>1886340
The "Tailoring the Conversation" (birds and bees talk) chapter was based on the first couple hundred words or so of TMP Prompt # 194, which you can read here. In that same prompt I had segments with Shy/Angel, RD/Scootaloo, Twi/Spike, and yes, Rarity/Sweetie. Maybe I'll expand the Rarity segment into a full chapter like I did with Applejack/AB. Until then, give the TMP original a read. The AJ/AB segment was slightly different on TMP as well.
1897685
Ah yes! The 'Thirty Minute Ponies thing. I've heard about it but since I don't have a Tumbler account it's a little easy to miss. I should fix that soon!
I must curse your writing skills. Your TwiLuna is fantastic fun to read - yet this. This! This is Rarijack. And as you can guess by my avatar, I don't look kindly upon it!
Still, these are fun to read. I just hope that, some day, you might deign to tread the orange and blue waters as well
1898061
I did wear the Orange and Blue, for one brief shining moment - see here. I thought about rewriting that prompt as RariJack or TwiDash, but it only sounds right as AppleDash. Maybe I'll be inspired to revisit that little universe one day.
1898143
That's certainly a brief moment!
But it certainly intrigues me - i much await your return to that universe, and will fave it with the force of Derpy's iron buns!
(as long as you "fix" that issue in that little universe, of course )
1898179
One day I'll try some more AppleDash, though I can't guarantee it'll be painless or happy fluffy bunny time. If I'm going to write that, I'll have to come up with a twist or two that keeps it fresh. I won't do it if it's going to read like every other AppleDash out there.
1898239>>1900310>>1903131>>1909274
Thanks - glad you liked it!
1912665>>1912930
Aw, you didn't need to keel over just for my little slice of RariJack! Glad you enjoyed it, though. And I should be playing hours of mindless XCOM and Far Cry 3 but here I sit, writing another new chapter to Egghead & Featherbrain.
1913024
I'm actually very glad to hear that! I'm looking forward to it even more now. Though some occasional fluff does the heart some good too ;)
I don't see what they're freaking out about, everyone in the world is your cousin if you go back far enough.
1914666
Very true. Luckily it's not a blood relation, and even if so, they're only 8th cousins - no real problem. It just makes the family tree look a little suspicious. It's just one of those little revelations that you wish hadn't come up in casual conversation.
1913859
Again, true. Rarity was just making it up as she went along. Still, I like to think of it as being entirely up to the ponies involved, as far as how they want it phrased. If they like the traditional vows, great. If not, that's OK too. In this case, the idea would have been to have AJ recite identical vows so that neither of them took a more primary role.
1918422
You do really well at that.
Have you considered writing something longer?
1918422 Success indeed.
...sweet baby Luna in a manger one of my fave and most-admired authors replied to me! SQUEE~
Okay, now that I'm caught up I can honestly sa--
"Cap'n! The engines are experiencing D'aaw Overload!"
Keep it together, Mr. Tinker!
"She can't handle the strain, Cap'n!"
Oh, she'll handle i--
Transmission Terminated
Those poor, brave bastards. Anyway, I love your work. Will be keeping an eye out. I know you've heard this before, don't remember which story of yours, but you have weaponized d'aaw.
1918451
Compliment appreciated! I'll try a longer work one day, definitely. I just answered someone else the same way: it makes me nervous because I worry I won't be able to keep on target if I go past that 1500-2000 word barrier. Like writing clop, it's just something I'll have to make up my mind to try doing, even if it's a one-shot.
1918509
*thy humble servant bows at such high praise*
1918538
Yep, unavoidable in hindsight, but it was fun to write.
1918860>>1918978
Thanks!!!
1918978
MWAHAHAHA!! NOW DE VORLD SHALL BOW BEFORE MY OOOLTIMATE VEAPON!
1919986 You deserve it. :D
1919986 Congratulations, you are now a war criminal. WMDs, and all that.
1930127
Guilty! If that made me a war criminal, the the next chapter will put me up there with Stalin.
1938856
Glad you liked it! New chapter tomorrow.
"Welcome back, anyway."
lolololo
This actually happened to me and an ex-girlfriend. We got really nervous when we found out we wee both the only Irish/Native American/Dutch people we've ever met, and then we found out we were both related to Bonnie Parker. (Bonnie and Clyde; THAT Bonnie Parker.)
We already broke up by then, but we had a good laugh about it.
Wincest!
I have read lots of ship fics before but I must say, this is one of the best Rarijack fan fics, I have ever read.
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Much appreciated - thanks!
1950147
1950947
Ya'll are makin' me blush, ya hear?
1951096>>1951358>>1951576
Many thanks, all! Glad you liked it.
1952094
There's a shot for that.
1952690
Better than the famous redneck last words, "Hey y'all, watch this!" Which is probably how AJ originally thought she'd propose to Rarity.
1952856
Appreciate it!
*spittake*
Nice.
I just stumbled on this and I'm glad I did.
It is said that everyone in Eurasia can trace at least one line of descent back to Genghis Khan, the old philanderer that he was. The point is that it is incredibly difficult to meet someone without some distant degree of cousinship. After a few generations, it doesn't matter so much though.
Feh. Those eight-generations-removed forebears could have been twin brothers/sisters and it wouldn't matter. By the time you hit second cousin you're pretty much genetically dissimilar enough for it to not matter in any way. Throw in two hundred years of splitting and it's irrelevant. We're all cousins if you go far enough back :D
Yay love these stories, but i must ask, "WHERE IS THE WEDDING CHAPTER?" . I must know the dresses they wore, how Luna did presiding over the event, how super emotional they got during the vows(which i hope they personalized), and how the whole crowd of people cheered when they kissed.
also where is the chapter where she proposes to Rarity all proper like.
Alternate Chapter title: "The eggheads guide to maximum awkwardness."
1960261
Glad you liked it!
1969623
Partially scripted and partially ad-libbed on Rarity's part. 100% dirt-tired and horny honesty on AJ's part.
1969867>>2017995>>2025161
True. It was just a little "Ew!" moment they shared.
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"I almost had that ornery ol’ critter licked!" I wonder how Rarity feels about being called an 'ornery ol' critter'?
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Glad you liked it!
2017707
Good catch! One of those thirty-minute quirks that MS Word spellcheck ain't gonna gloss over. Fixed now.
2018097>>2020023
A certain someone recently asked if they could write a side story to Rustic & Romantic showing the marriage proposal. I'm honored, especially when that someone has written more than a few Romance-tagged stories already! I might get to it eventually, but until then, watch my blog and I'll announce when the other author posts their story.
theres more right
right
Another great update :)
Hoping to have more Rarijack POV in the next one :)