The Rustic and The Romantic

by TheLastBrunnenG

Ejection

Twilight whispered conspiratorially to the pink plotter hopping excitedly by her side. “Pinkie, we can’t afford to leave them together! Applejack and Rarity are planning something, I just know it. If we don’t break them up, they could ruin everything - our whole group of friends is at stake.”

“Aw, but Twiley-wiley, they’re soooo cute together! They make each other smile,” said Pinkie as she grinned ear to ear in a toothy demonstration, “and smiles are happy, and happy is fun, and what did Mama Celestia teach us? That’s right, conspiratorial-pants! Funship is Magicallyish!”

“Friendship, Pinkie! Friendship is Magic! Not… oh, forget it!” She banged her forehead against the wooden wall a few times before adding with a sigh, “Friendship is exactly why we have to separate those two.”

Bouncing even more energetically, the pink mare continued, “But they’ll have such cutesy wittle white and orange foals! Or maybe pale orange, like orange sherbet! Or like those little tangelos that get white spots after you leave them out in the sun too long, or…”

~~~~~

Rainbow huddled low with a pink-maned Pegasus, the ruffling of their wings masking her gravelly mutters. “Okay, hear me out, Shy, ‘cause we gotta stick together on this one. We gotta drive a wedge between AJ and Rarity. They’ve been plotting against us the whole time, and now it’s our turn to get one over on them. They’re vulnerable now, so we have to strike while the branding iron is hot!”

“Strike? Wedge? Plotting? Oh, Dash,” mewled the shrinking yellow mare, “that all sounds so violent and, um, well, unpleasant. Can’t we just ask one of them nicely if they’d like to leave for tea for just a little while?”

Dash took Fluttershy’s head in her hooves and stared into her watery eyes. “Focus, Shy! We do this now, and we’re all safe. We don’t, we let them get away together, and next time, you better believe they’ll do it to us!”

Barely above a whisper, Fluttershy replied, “I just don’t know, Rainbow… They’re both such nice ponies. They wouldn’t send us away, would they? I just don’t know if I can do the same to one of them.”

~~~~~

Sitting in a corner by himself, arms crossed and head resting on a tapping claw, Spike snorted. “Don’t look at me! Twilight was right, all you ponies are crazy! Count me out. Nothing doing, I was never here.” He tapped a scaly tail impatiently against the dusty floor. “Oh, for cryin’ out loud Rarity, don’t look at me like that, you know I can’t resist those eyes. And that pout. And the… The… Oh, all right, I’m in. Twilight will never let me live this down. That’s the last ice cream I’ll see for a month.”

~~~~~

“Y’all know they got it in fer us, right, Rares?” The farm pony shook her head beneath a wide-brimmed and weatherworn hat. “They ain’t gonna let us be together, Ah just know it.”

The white-coated unicorn ran a hoof through her partner’s yellow mane. “There, there, dear Applejack. No matter what they decide, we will always be together in our hearts. They cannot separate us forever! I will return for you, my love, I…”

Applejack cut her off with a hoof to the lips. “Aw, shucks, save it fer yer faintin’ couch, Rares. This ain’t forever, sugarcube.”

From across the room four mares approached, side by side, a baby dragon in tow. Twilight looked at each of her associates, nodding before clearing her throat and stepping forward. “Applejack, Rarity, you both know why you’re here. The discussion was heated and our decision was anything but easy. Well, the tribe has spoken. Rarity, you’re safe for another week. You may sit down. Applejack, I’m sorry. You have been voted off the island. You must leave immediately.”

“Well, thank Celestia that there’s over! But…” The orange mare rubbed her temple with a tired hoof. “Ya’ll know this here is mah own barn, right? Ah ain’t leavin’ mah barn, no matter what yall’re callin’ it. Island, my left hoof! How’d I let mahself get talked into this here crazy game?”

Rarity leaned over to grace Applejack’s check with a quick kiss. “Don’t be a sore loser, my sweet. You’re the one who lost a bet with Twilight, and you knew the terms. It was either agree to let us use the barn for our weekly re-enactment of ‘Survivor: Equestria’, or let her use your West Orchard for her Diamond Dog Fertilizer experiment. Honestly, dear AJ, I think you chose the lesser of two evils. Of course, I would think that, as the tribe did see fit to keep me on the island for another week.” She leaned in to whisper harshly, “Don’t worry, love. Next week I shall avenge you by forming a cunning alliance!”

Comments

[The Princess Rarity]

Alright, now this one was quite funny... I seriously thought they were gonna break Rarity and AJ up, lol You almost had me fooled. Almost.
Have a mustache.

[The Princess Rarity]

1625959 Well, keep it up! I need more d'awww!

[Donnys Boy]

“Well, thank Celestia that there’s over! But…” The orange mare rubbed her temple with a tired hoof. “Ya’ll know this here is mah own barn, right? Ah ain’t leavin’ mah barn, no matter what yall’re callin’ it. Island, my left hoof! How’d I let mahself get talked into this here crazy game?”

Hee!

[Hobbestc]

“Don’t worry, love. Next week I shall avenge you by forming a cunning alliance!”

Not sure if my mine is just making this sound like what I think it does or if you meant for it to sound a bit perverted..........

[TheLastBrunnenG]

1626743

What ever do you mean? Rarity's merely being a cunning linguist and if she wants to snatch victory away from her opponents by proposing a cunning alliance, that's her business.

[ScatMan2001]

ERMAGERD!
ReriJerk!

Excellent work, buddy.
ScatMan

[master109]

where the other two teams meant to be a twinkie pie and flutterdash reference because if it was thats awesome

[Willow Arqueiro]

That was funny!

[TheLastBrunnenG]

1628100

Thanks, pal!

1631811

Hints, maybe. TwiLuna is my OTP, but I've been known to make exceptions.

1635849

i691.photobucket.com/albums/vv273/Philadelphia1776/Larry_Cable_Guy_thats_funny_right_t.jpg

[Mr.Froboto]

1641508 I dont know how you make exceptions, whenever i see Applejack with dash, or Rarity with Fluttershy, or worse either of them with Big Mac i wanna just flip the table, or i just avoid the picture/fic altogether. but the former is more likely to occur

[Kapuchu]

fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/071/1/f/one_wat__by_haute_claire-d4sj4f1.png

[Miketipe]

Somehow, I saw the whole "Survivor" scenario coming. Maybe it was just the way the dialogue was set up, I don't know.

[AnalyticalAnarchy]

1626792

Cunning Linguist --- Cunningulus ... Aha!

[Starlight Shadow]

Dat ending.