• Published 16th Nov 2012
  • 7,602 Views, 387 Comments

The Rustic and The Romantic - TheLastBrunnenG



The Farmer and The Fashionista, The Orange and the White, The Barn and The Boutique

  • ...
29
 387
 7,602

Slow and Steady

“Your sister don’t think ol’ Mac knows what’s what, but I got my eyes open. I ain’t no fool, I see what’s goin’ on. If Applejack an’ Rarity think they can pull one over on Macintosh Apple, they got another thin’ comin’, right, AB?”

“Eeeyup.”

“Now that I’m livin’ in Appleoosa helpin’ cousin Braeburn, they probably think I got no idea what they’re up to. Take last week when I visited, for instance. AJ says to me, ‘Confound that mare! Got herself a fancy hooficure an’ don’t wanna mess it up. Says she’ll faint if she gets it chipped on all them rocks an’ roots walkin’ on the path home, so I just had to let her stay the night.’ Uh huh, right. So if’n Rarity was so all-fired worried ‘bout her fancy hooficure, then how’d she get here in the first place? What you think, AB? Think she flew, or floated, or just popped in like Miss Twilight might?”

“Eeenope.”

“Right on, Applebloom! See, they think Big Mac’s a little slow, think he don’t notice nothin’. But you bet your pretty red bow that I heard ‘bout them two after their little incident under y’all’s clubhouse. Monster chasin’ after ‘em, my left hoof! Them two was gettin’ friendlier’ a frog an’ a fly, know what I mean, AB?”

“Eeeyup.”

“An’ I seen what AJ’s been doin’ with her bits, too. The farm ain’t been doin’ so swell these last couple o’ seasons, what with Root Rot in the South Orchard, crazy weather, an Applejack havin’ to take off all the time to Luna-knows-where savin’ the world an’ what have you. So whenever I come by she has me look at the ledger to see if I can squeeze a few more bits outta the purse, an’ what do I find? All the bills paid, the cupboard stocked, your schoolin’ taken care of, and yet there’s missin’ bits. Know what I found, little sis?”

“Eeenope.”

“A receipt to Sparklin’ Stone’s jewelry store for matchin’ rings! Custom fittin’s, fine chains, an’ everythin’. Yep, your big sis’s plannin’ on makin’ an honest mare outta Miss Rarity. Addin’ another seat at the Apple family table, as it were. Cain’t put one over on Mac, can y’all?”

“Eeenope.”

“Seat at the table, an’ more, I bet. I don’t snore none, an’ I don’t thrash around none when I knock out for the night, so I sleep real peaceful an’ real quiet, right? So when I drop by to stay the weekend, like last month, she forgets I’m in my old bedroom. Them walls in the old family home ain’t exactly millstone-think, you know? So she thinks I don’t hear what’s goin’ on next door. All that gigglin’ an carryin’ on, and what not. You follow, ‘Bloom?”

“Eeey … uh, eeenope.”

“Them two think I’m some kinda big gullible galoot! Just yesterday I was in town visitin’ friends an’ ran across Miss Rarity an’ Miss Fluttershy at the market. Miss Rarity’s explainin’ how she couldn’t go home the night before ‘cause it was pourin’ rain, an’ so she had to stay with Applejack. ‘Cept it was barely drizzlin’ an’ it ain’t poured rain in weeks, an’ not two minutes later Rarity open her saddlebag an’ shows off her fancy new frou-frou rain poncho. Don’t that beat all, AB?”

“Eeeyup. Say, big brother, are you mad at AJ an’ Miss Rarity for keepin’ all this from you? Or at least tryin’ to?”

“Eeenope. Why would I be upset, ‘Bloom?”

“Well, you been talkin’ my ears off ‘bout all the times they’re tryin’ to fool you an’ trick you an’ pull the wool over your eyes, an’ it kinda sounded like you was a little sore ‘bout it all.”

“Applebloom, sis, don’t pay no attention to me. I’m just ramblin’ on, you know? Long as AJ lets me give her away at the weddin’, or at least makes me Best Stallion, then they got my blessin’. All that matters is that them two’re made for each other, an’ that they stay happy together ‘till the sun don’t shine no more. Everythin’ else is just cider in the glass, AB. Know what I mean?”

“Eeeyup!”

Author's Note:

TMP Prompt # 238. The Prompt: “Do you all think I’m a silly gullible fool?”

There are callbacks here to several other chapters of The Rustic and the Romantic, plus Cider in the Glass = Metallica song.