The Rustic and The Romantic

by TheLastBrunnenG

Subtle Like A Hurricane

A teeming throng of ponies milled about the Ponyville Market, shoulder to shoulder as vendors called out from every store and stall. Rarity’s voice rang out above the din as she draped herself across half a dozen barrels of apples, artfully arranged before the stall of an orange mare, red now leaching from her wares and onto her cheeks.

"Treat me like you treat your orchard, dearest Applejack. Watch over me day and night, caress me with gentle hooves and work me with rough tools, and oh! What wonders I shall produce for you!" Rarity moaned. "Let me shade you when you sweat, bucking, grunting, straining as the sun sets, and when it rises again, wake to me, dewy and beckoning." She twirled an apple in her hooves, pausing to watch her breath fade from it as the pony behind the counter stood reflected in its glistening skin. "Plough my fertile valleys, till me, tend me, and when I have swelled beyond bursting, shake me like you need me and my succulent fruits shall be yours and yours alone."

A hundred ponies stood still and staring and silent. Applejack pulled her hat low and mumbled, “I swear, y’all, I don’t know this here mare. Ain’t never seen her before. I left my barn this mornin’ an’ she followed me all the way here to market. So y’all can move along, ain’t a dang thing to see here.”

Rarity rolled off the barrels and landed on solid hooves. She scratched eagerly at the dusty ground, snorting, “An athlete, sweet Applejack - that’s what you are. Powerful, swift, enduring. Let me be the wilderness you tread! Attend the running of my leaves, let me leave you winded, panting, euphoric. Scale my peaks and follow my course, pushing, striving for the sweet release at my finish line.” She dropped low to a runner’s stance, white coat gleaming in the morning sun as she whispered harshly and overloudly, “I can be the trails you hike, the hills you climb, inviting, daunting, unyielding ‘till you swear you’ll conquer me or die trying. Make me yield beneath your hooves as you crest my summit!”

"Anypony want a unicorn? Got one I’ll give up," Applejack said as she shrank behind her suddenly too-small counter board, "real reasonable-like. Sews, knits, real generous, darn useful if’n you’re into frou-frou dresses an’ such. Any takers? Please?"

Stalking behind the counter, Rarity snaked her way next to Applejack and cooed, “I know you’ve always dreamed of the ocean, my love - living life landlocked on that farm, how could you not? Then let me be your ship, and you my sea! Toss me, turn me, crash me, lash me, push me where you want me.” Half the town stood rapt, wide-eyed and slack-jawed as she continued, “Wash over me, drown me as I fight to stay upright! Leave me little choice but to furl sails and turn toward you, waiting for the building wave that will crash over me and leave me wet and gasping, soaked and helpless.”

Applejack tipped her hat back and rubbed her temple. “Rares, please, Sugarcube,” she pleaded, “I’ll do anything. You’re drawin’ a crowd, hon, an’ they ain’t starin’ at the baked goods. Just simmer down, hush up, an’ sure as sarsaparilla, we’ll - “

Eyes narrowing and locked on the weatherworn hat, Rarity smiled and ran a hoof along its trembling rim. “Ah, that’s it, my farmer, my dear! It’s that hat you’re attached to, isn’t it? I’ve seen you in more, at the wedding and at the Gala, too - and in less. Oh, how I long to be that hat! Picked up gently, lovingly, dearly each morning, spending all day in the sun atop you, growing sweatier with each passing hour, then thrown down dirty every night.” She took Applejack’s head in her hooves and turned it to face her, now muzzle to muzzle. “If you want to dress up, Applejack, then by all means, you can wear me. Wear me like a glove, lace me like a dress, and strap me like a harness.”

Shoulders slumping and eyes downcast, Applejack muttered, “Rarity, for the love o’… Oh, consarn it, fine! I give up. You win, Sugar.”

Rarity stood back and grinned at her handiwork. “So you’ll do it, then? Right here in your stall, at the height of Market Day, in front of the entire town?”

"If’n that’s what it’ll take to quiet y’all down," Applejack growled, "then I suppose I ain’t got no choice. Git over here, dangit!" To the cheers and groans of a hundred onlookers she threw her hooves around the unicorn and met her lips for long seconds, parting so suddenly her hat twirled off into the dust.

Rarity giggled her sweet, tinkling, silver-bell laugh and licked her lips. “There, now, Applejack! One simple kiss in public - that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

"Guess not, Rares," Applejack said as she shook her head and reached for her lost Stetson. "But there weren’t no need for all o’ this dramatic carryin’ on. Y’all do know I woulda done that half an hour ago if’n y’all had just asked ‘please’ the first time, right?"

"Oh, Applejack, dearest, ‘please’? You still haven’t learned, have you?" Rarity smiled as she headed off into the milling crowd, then turned and winked. "A lady never begs.”

Author's Note:

TMP Prompt # 292. The prompt: Public displays of affection.

Quite possibly my most-liked submission for TMP, ever. There's a half-written NSFW version of this chapter on my hard drive, which I may eventually get around to finishing. If so, I'll post it as a separate side story to preserve this collection's Teen rating. I was going to post them simultaneously, but I'm an impatient sort.

Shout out to Haywind! Sorry it took so long to get this posted.

Comments

[The Princess Rarity]

....is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

YOU UPDATED THIS.

*sees Complete tag*

...

*jumps off building*

Whelp. Now it's time to find a new ultimate favorite story for my OTP. Dunno what's gonna top this, though - and I mean that in all seriousness, this story is probably what drove my passion for RariJack in the fandom so much, and I got inspired by this whole series / continuity you made with the TMP prompts. Can't wait to see what else you churn out, Brunnen, you sure are a good writer, and will always be one of my favorites.

[Talon and Thorn]

Is it suddenly hot in here or is it just me?

[TheLastBrunnenG]

3997016
How did I know you'd be the first to comment?

Many thanks, TPR! You've been there for every R&R chapter, and believe me, I do appreciate it.

I didn't mention it in the author's notes or the blog post, but R&R was last updated in March 2013, so this is very close to the one-year mark. I figured that if I had to close the barn doors, there was no better chapter to do it with.

[Kapuchu]

The... fuuuuck. Now that is how you embarrass something. Not to mention that, on more than one occasion, it sounded like Rarity was just saying "Take me!"

Also... I feel like she insinuates that she also want kids.

[GrayFox2510]

That... was rather hot I must say. Wow.
And hilarious.

[The Princess Rarity]

3997041
Well, you're a fabulous writer - you deserve the instant praise. And I understand why you closed it, can't keep it going forever or else it wouldn't stay amazing.

3997063

she also want kids

Oh, God, Brunnen, I swear, if you ever make that happen, I would probably lose my shit in the best way possible. Like I'm not even kidding. Just a stupid little oneshot would probably be enough to send me into happy hysterics forever and I'd be riding on a rainbow of joy.

...just a thought.

*slithers back to my corner*

[Bulbasaur]

Oh my god
you finally published this
i was wondering when you'd get around to it

it's amazing

EDIT Is this where it's supposed to be, chronologically?

[Kapuchu]

3997091
You're not alone

I have a weakness for the "Motherhood" stories... There's just something about it.

[The Princess Rarity]

3997134 IT'S BECAUSE THE MANE SIX WOULD ALL MAKE FABULOUS MOTHERS

...*ahem* Family-themed stories are cool. We need more of them. 'nuff said.

[Kapuchu]

3997153
Spellbound Fireflies. You ever read that?

[The Princess Rarity]

3997161 One of my favorites.

[Kapuchu]

3997162
I wonder why...

Perhaps because of Scootadopt + Twidash + motherhood story?

[The Princess Rarity]

3997174 Definitely! It really is a shame, though - how this fandom barely pays attention to how wonderful family-themed stories really are.

[Kapuchu]

3997237
Some people like other stuff... Sadly xD

[Eclipse LunarSol]

You need to have them have a threesome with Trenderhoof. Or at least with Fancypants. I ship Applejack with T.H. and Rarity with F.P. so I'm just saying that it might spice up the story. Key word being might.

[Knight of Lycaeus]

Quite the send off for the story, couldn't stop laughing at Rarity's whole dramatic means to get a kiss! I thought she was dramatic back in the Amethyst Throne chapter of the TwiLuna story but this acting takes the cake and truely shows her as the Drama Queen.

[Diamond Sparkle]

Poor embarrassed Applejack.

[djthomp]

Daaaaaaaaaamn, Rares.

[nemryn]

3997161
Dammit, I already have too many stories to read, I don't need another one!

[articunos bitch]

Whee! Complete? Nooooo! Oh well, it was great while it lasted.
This was a fun chapter. Did I see that you have a Twidash story somewhere? Why am I asking you when I can look myself?

[TheLastBrunnenG]

3997102
Thanks! As for chronological order... Maybe. I think after the tense drama of "Facing Worlds", this is a nice mood-lifter, assuming you're reading them all in order. Good sendoff to the series. Really, it could work almost anywhere after "Calendar".

3997648 3997671 3997630 3997067 3997063 3997040 3997574
Glad y'all liked it!

3997063 3997091
First foal's name: Appletini Soirée. Second foal's name: Honeygold Topaz. Future one-shot, maybe? No promises!

3997153 3997174 3998562
Spellbound was great! You cats do know I did a motherhood story too, right?

3998766
TwiDash? Try Egghead and Featherbrain. GAH, when did it hit 900+ likes?!?

[Convisku]

A fantastic end! Just how many romance novels has Rarity read to be so easily able to give a performance like that?

[VoiceInTheDark]

Awesome. You write the best Rarity.

[BenRG]

Doesn't 'beg', no. 'Whines and badgers', though? Definitely yes!

[Kapuchu]

3999173
A "maybe" is good enough for me ;)

[The Princess Rarity]

3999173 Velocity was one of my favorites too - until it cancelled! You must continue it! You must! PUPPIES WILL CRY IF YOU DON'T.

[Spectrumancer]

Well,

That is all. Thanks and good night.

[Tchernobog]

3999173 speaking of other ships, how goes the ponderings on that other one? Wink wink nudge nudge.
(And so ends the only rarijack I think ive faved, because these are just small snippets. As for this chapter, I'm sure flutters will take her off your hooves, AJ ;) )

[TheLastBrunnenG]

3999946
What matters isn't how many she's read, it's how many she's inspired.

4000157
Worked, didn't it?

4000504
Check again, pal - Complete, not Canceled! Well, abandoned in-place and as-is, really, but it ended on a high note, so we'll go with that. Maybe it'll get an Epilogue one of these days, hopefully featuring Dash finally winning custody of her sweet little Velocity.

4000757
They had a nice run. They'd ride off into the sunset together, but it's dusty that way, darling, and Rarity just had her hooves done.

4000788
When AJ asked if anyone wanted a frou-frou unicorn, you think Fluttershy was in the crowd whispering, "Um, yes? I'll take her. If she's housetrained. Does she come with a collar?" You tolerating a RariJack speaks volumes! Many thanks. As to other ships - LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU! Finishing up a Twilestia comedy piece, publishing the final (no, really, I mean it this time!) TwiDash chapter, cleaning up some TwiLuna leftovers, maybe an AJ one-shot... Life is full of surprises! No, one of the surprises isn't me entering the AppleDashLight contest.

[The Princess Rarity]

4000948 We better.

[Tchernobog]

4000948 Look at these faces, do you want to make them sad? DO YOU?!
You monster.

[Majk]

That was priceless! Oooh you write the best Rarity ever. Seriously, my poor aching ribs.

[Haywind]

*Gasp*

You published it!
Oh my, I had to re-read it now and it is just as good as the first time I read it, I agree that you really write the best Rarity.

This is all bittersweet, though... The final chapter of the fic that made Rarijack my OTP, but I am happy that you came around and published it here, it was way too good to not appear on Fimfiction. >> TheLastBrunnenG Thank you for being such awesome writer, all the hugs are for you. *HUGS*

I will be looking forward to see what awesome things you might cook up in the future. ^^

[Starlight Shadow]

I used Rarity's bit in this one for random role-play. Comedy. Gold.

[Avid Reader]

Commence read.

A very interesting finish then.

Like all the crazy things Rarity went for and all the possible innuendos.

[Yokal]

That is...umm, one powerful end there...can someone please turn the A/C on i-it is kind of getting hot here

[tigrean]

That was hilarious It seams that a lady does beg in her own way Well done look forward to the next vinaigrette

[Rhythmic Gravity Chance]

Wow, why doesn't this story have more upvotes?
I haven't read such a great Rarijack in a long while!
On to the next story.

[pewpewmewmew]

Best Rarijack story I've read. It definitely deserves more recognition despite its age.

[ididntthinkidlikethis]

You need to write more Rarijack. You just... need to.

[Applety]

Waaaaaay late to the party but these were all amazing!!! I loved every minute of these and now am dying for more lol

These were great and your writing along with em!

Truly magnificent darling!

[Kessie_amarra]

Thanks for the fic!