{By popular request I'm moving the audio version of this story to the top instead of leaving it in the Author's Notes.}
“Prithee tell me, my good Guards, for how long hath the door to my quarters lain ajar?”
“Ajar, Princess Luna? Nothing of the sort!”
“Was never open, Your Highness. Sealed like a vault.”
“Locked and shut, almost entirely.”
“Barely a hoof’s width open, really.”
“Mostly closed.”
“Partially open. Mostly.”
“Swung wide like a barn door, in fact, for just a few moments.”
“Could’ve driven an applecart through it for maybe thirty minutes.”
“Open as wide as the palace gates for an hour or more. Since Miss Sparkle arrived, certainly.”
“I… see. And pray tell, didst either of you two fine stallions, ah… perchance, see anything through yon unclosed door?”
“See, Your Majesty? Why, nothing! Nothing at all!”
“No, Ma’am, we were blind as cave bats.”
“Sightless and eyeless, we were.”
“Saw barely anything of any note whatsoever.”
“We hardly noticed the snogging.”
“Barely registered in our dullard brains that you were spit-spelunking your sister’s student for the better part of an afternoon.”
“Nope, we can verify that we definitely did not see you attempting to kidnap Miss Sparkle’s tonsils with your tongue.”
“Probably.”
“Indeed. And this – this was the only untoward sight thine eyes served to thee?”
“Absolutely, Your Grace! Not a thing else.”
“Truly, Princess, we saw nothing else of note.”
“Little else to see, what the door being closed, and all.”
“Right-o. Whatever else we saw was beneath report.”
“Because we most assuredly did not see you hopping about like some giddy schoolfilly after Miss Sparkle departed.”
“Not a chance! We totally missed the sight of Your Highness gallivanting about your room showering every surface with flower petals – ”
“ – and cantering gleefully, and grinning like a lovestruck teenager - ”
“ – and twittering sweet nothings to the evening breeze, and generally bouncing about with sparkling purple hearts in your eyes.”
“Nope, we must’ve been looking the other direction when that happened.”
“Must’ve.”
“How comforting. And though it pains me to ask, tell me, verily – by some unfortunate accident, didst any… sounds… betray themselves to thine ears?”
“Sounds, Princess Luna? What sounds?”
“Quiet as a mouse-house out here, I can assure you, my Liege.”
“Silence of the grave, indeed.”
“Nary a whisper.”
“Thanks be to Thee, O Heavens! For long moments was I worried that perhaps my song had carried.”
“Song? Hardly, your Eminence. Surely we heard only crickets.”
“Nighttime birds. Definitely.”
“Perhaps a note or two.”
“A few bars, nothing approaching a song.”
“A small song. No more than a jingle, really.”
“A ditty. One tiny, brief little tune.”
“With dancing.”
“And choreography. Possibly with props as well.”
“A song and dance number of grand extent.”
“A major production, the scale of which was hardly imaginable in a space as small as your quarters, at least until we saw it - ”
“ – and heard it!”
“Right, saw it and heard it for ourselves.”
“Which we did not.”
“Much.”
“O Ancients, Ancestors, all! Let them not have heard, let them not have seen, I beg of thee!”
“Not to worry, Your Eminence! After all, there was nothing to see or hear.”
“Absolutely not. Nothing to see here, move along, that sort of thing.”
“And if a note or two, or a melody - or even the rather grand operatic interpretation you used on that admittedly stunning fifth refrain – managed to escape, what of it?”
“Agreed! It’s not like the Royal Canterlot Singing Voice carries that far, even with all the windows in your quarters open, Ma’am. Am I correct, Tony?”
“Quite so, Obie. And Canterlot Castle is filled with long, unobstructed stone corridors much like this one. Can’t possibly echo that much.”
“Not at all, not at all. See, Princess? Nothing to worry about whatsoever.”
“So, my Sovereign, if by morning the guards – ”
“ – and Castle staff, and passers-by - ”
“ – and your Most Holy Sister, and the whole of Canterlot - ”
“ – are all humming, singing, and perhaps setting interpretive dances to a certain tune, we can assure you that it most certainly, definitely, probably, will not sound anything like this. Ready, old chap?”
“Ready, chum! Let’s see, how did it go? Ah, yes. And a one, and a two… ”
She kissed me! She kissed me! Twilight Sparkle kissed me!
She kissed me! She kissed me! Tra la la la la!
Oh, I loved it! I loved it! ‘Twas more wonderful than I’d think!
Oh, I loved it! I loved it! She smelled like books and ink!
She kissed me! She kissed me! Twilight Sparkle kissed me!
She kissed me! She kissed me! Tra la la la la!
Oh, I’m happy! I’m happy! So happy I could fly!
Oh, I’m happy! I’m happy! My librarian and I!
She kissed me! She kissed me! Twilight Sparkle kissed me!
She kissed me! She kissed me! Tra la la la la!
“Right. And though, of course, as we all know, none of this ever happened - ”
“ – wink wink, nudge, nudge!”
“Might I say, Princess, ending your song and dance number with jazz hooves was a lovely touch.”
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/576/886/045.gif
HAHAHAH!
Oh god... That was toooo good.
Nice to see this hasn't been forgotten.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I'm happy to see this is still alive.
Entertaining chapter, to say the least. XD
Oh my Celestia, I thought I would die laughing!
It wasn't till your authors note that I realized I was reading Tony and Obie's lines in the voices of Waldorf And Statler but with the accent and delivery of the Monty Python crew.
The two go surprisingly well together...
Oh...oh god...my sides!
This. Is. GOLD!
Can't..... breathe......
Wow. I read this, then I heard the audio version after...
You definitely need to put the audio version at the top.
wow... i... wow...
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/959569664/hAE335845/
That was brilliant.
Oh my~...I couldn't stop laughing for like an hour...i'm still giggling from time to time actually.
And the audio version was a nice touch.
That was excellent. Well done.
Additionally, the audio version is AMAZING! Totally should put the link at the top instead of the bottom (or in both locations).
Alas, poor Luna.
[youtube=jHPOzQzk9Qo]
All the world's indeed a stage, and we are merely players. Performers and portrayers, each another's audience outside the gilded cage. (Or something like that. I still think they should hire Geddy Lee for any singing Luna does.)
Oh Celestia, that was amazing! Seconds into the reading, I'd already started hearing Michael Palin and Eric Idle reading those lines... a million to you!
Guess we know what the next big theatre production will be.
Oh god, Celestia is going to have a field day with this. Luna's only hope is that she will dismiss it for being too easy.
Luna is screwed.
So is Twilight for that matter.
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DO HO HO HO HO!
Spit-spelunking? Kidnapping tonsils with tongue? And don't even get me started on the thing as a whole.
I had as close to an overdose of laughter as I think I can get. ... That sentence sounds weird.
the audio version was alright, but the voices were nearly identical. not that that's your fault, i understand you might not have had much voice acting experience. still, your delivery was amazing and the timing superb. oh, and the chapter was, as many have pointed out, hilarious. nicely done.
At least now we know what's going to be the next greatest hit in Trotway
I heard it in their voices.... Unbidden speaking methods of the Pythons sounded out in my head.
(But when you are raised on Fawlty Towers that can happen...)
I just realized, I had this 'fic in my favourites, yet didn't like it (for some reason?).
This chapter alone is reason enough for a like, I'd say, so it's a fitting time to do so.
You, good sir, have just made my week^^ Oh this is so good! I feel almost sorry for Luna.... almost
That feel when you are betrayed by castles; displaying your embarrassing moments to all who listen.
Also, damn you, TheLastBrunnenG, I will chuckle the entire day now! Damn you!
...
...
So then, I take it Tony and Obie were the two Night Guards Celestia talked to in 'Early Observances'?
Chuckled the whole way through. Died laughing at "... kidnap Miss Sparkle’s tonsils with your tongue."
The audio version was perfedct.
Great update was great
Brunnen, i just woke up, and i'm already crying in laughter. Today will either be great of epic proportions or go downhill swiftly. At this point i don't care which.
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NOT DEAD. Merely dozing. Do not bury. Nah, definitely not forgotten! Though I almost called my blog post "Bring out Your Dead."
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Glad y'all liked it! Felt soooo good to actually put words on paper again.
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Done!
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I don't know if I could pull off a reading with an English Waldorf and Statler, but you're right - that does work surprisingly well. Scary!
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Thrilled that you enjoyed it!
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I didn't start out trying to write a Python skit, but every time I ran over the dialogue in my head it came out like this. As soon as I pictured Canterlot Castle being squished by a giant animated foot, I knew it had to be done
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Thanks, and totally true. I recorded the entire thing in one take on my cellphone while sitting in my car in the parking lot before work a couple of mornings ago, then slapped it together in Windows Movie Maker. I had some ideas to differentiate the characters more, but they didn't work out so well in the final version. Maybe I'll re-record it one of these days. Glad you liked the chapter!
Ha, that was great. I missed your Twiluna shenanigans.
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Possibly, though I'm guessing not. The Night Guard officers assigned to shadow Twilight while she's away from Canterlot are elite, no-nonsense types, who probably don't spend much time at Broadway shows. Except for Gilbert and Sullivan - the Night Guard has a drinking game involvingpatter songsthat you wouldn't believe.Scratch that. Tony and Obie were definitely the two Lunar Guards from the chapter "Early Observances"!
Jazz hooves!!!!!! Bwahahaha aha kept me rolling on the floor!!!
reminds me of something from the muppets i once saw, with those two old grumpy dudes.
The Voices fit so well, good Voice-acting while Luna's Voice could be a bit more feminine her nervousness and slow realization just what everyone witnessed was well build up by well placed *sighs* and other exclamations that do not carry through writing.
Another wonderful addition to the story.
My God, did I read the Monty Pythons cafe innuendo?
Perfect!!!
Wow, reading the chapter itself was hilarious but just hearing the audio version made it even better.
If I had the ability I would, but I don't. Can someone PLEASE use SFM to make this into an animation? That would be wonderfamazing.
I listened to it and read it at the same time for maximum effect. I was my cheeks still hurt from smiling so much.
Hah! Epic privacy fail is truly epic.
My lungs, my cheeks, my ears!
I had made the (un)fortunate mistake of listening to the video before reading and now I hear it all in nothing but your voice. Bravo! Magnificent show, a wonderful display! Truly, you might to consider doing more of these should time permit.
No really my cheeks hurt... And my hand, but that's because I spilled hot tea all over myself when you started singing ...And not because it was bad either! It just seemed spot on and so adorkable that tea ended up going thankfully over my laptop, and less thankfully so into my lap. It was well worth it, because it really made my day.
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Well, mostly patter songs. One of them's actually a mnemonic device for remembering the succession of the old Unicorn Kingdom. (" 'Twas Antimony, Arsenic, Aluminum, Selenium...")
All the world's indeed a stage
And we are merely players
Performers and portrayers
Each another's audience
Outside the gilded cage
As much as I hate to ruin the perfect number of comments (42), I feel I must leave something. John Cleese would be proud, good sir, wink, wink! Most assuredly, you are a braver man than I, putting your voice out on the interwebs where any old chuck could stumble across it, nudge, nudge. Now, I suggest you move along with this silly story before the major comes along to put a stop to it, eh, eh? Of course, if you want an argument, I'm sure he'd oblige, say no more! Now I'm off to practice my silly walks and get those darn eels out of my hovercraft, Bob's your uncle. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Derpy_dealwithit.png
Ya gotta love those guards.
Commence read.
Nicely done.
I love this chapter, very good back-and-forth between tony and obie.
O Heavens above! Could I have your permission to do a dub of this scene myself? I love it so thoroughly, I think purple hearts are in MY eyes.
I have never actually enjoyed a song in a fic before—I've only really tolerated them. Of course, that was before I had read this. That was so adorable that I can't help but love it! The image of Luna prancing around like a smitten filly is just too great.
oh man... such good memories :3 bravo! Well thought of, that!
Casually Coughing and laughing my wings off for a few moments..... maybe a minute or two...... probably the best part of an hour..... None stop actually