My own breath leaves in a choked sob. I don't know where I am. I take a breath and it comes in raggedly. Was I crying? Am I still crying? My eyes are in pain... how? I don't have any! I focus for a moment, and it makes sense. My soul... my very soul is in agony, and my flesh and bone can feel it. They're gone... and I am alone...
When I was a child I was only noticed due to my burgeoning necromancy. I had five siblings, I was the third born. Jacob was second after David. Following me was Cary, Michelle and Danielle. Did they pass on hating me? Are there people out there who just hate me by instinct? By some half remembered memory?
I really messed up... how the hell could anyone mess up this badly?! It doesn't seem possible... but it damn well happened. No wonder Elysium rejected my presence, I have no right to so much as visit any paradise.
“Are you awake now?” A gentle voice asks and it takes me a moment to place it. It's Luna.
“No.” I say not really ready to talk... and then I try to hit myself for being such an idiot, but I seem to be tied up. Literally.
“It wasn't your fault. You only did what you thought was best.” She says and I perk up as anger courses through me.
“What!? How... how do you even know what I did!?” I demand furious. Has she been in my mind again?
“Dreams are part of my power. I was worried about what was making you cry... I'm, so sorry.” she says and I realize where I am. I'm tucked under her wing and leaning against her. I try and untangle myself from the blanket I'm wrapped in.
“Yes, I'm sure you are. I'm also fairly certain that you are glad that I have nothing left to hold onto to resist whatever game you're playing.” I say bitterly as I get loose and stand up. She's gone from the side and now face to face with me. At least I think she is, the headband is still around my neck so I can't see.
“Is it really so hard to believe me when I say I care? Is it really so unrealistic that I would be concerned for my adoptive foal?” She demands with a furious undertone.
“Yes! It is! Others have tried similar bullshit in the past! There's also no way in hell you could really know me! Do you have any idea what I'm like? Memory Reading doesn't tell you that. Aura reading doesn't tell you that. Mind Reading doesn't tell you that. It makes no sense at all for you or anyone to care for a stranger as much as you pretend to!” I accuse her and she withdraws a little. I take this time to wrestle the headband from around my neck to around my eyes again.
Everything becomes visually clear again... strangely enough Luna doesn't even look angry. She looks pensive and a little... hurt... oh great, now I feel guilty. I also now remember that I'm dealing with a GOD... I emotionally hurt a god. This is going to suck.
“That was mostly directed to yourself wasn't it?” she asks me and I flinch... I didn't know my family anywhere near as much as I should have. They were almost strangers to me. Especially my siblings, I only knew the basics of their personalities and names. Now... I never will... and it still hurt so much to lose them. My legs collapse out from under me... hunh... I didn't know I'd stood up. Makes sense though, it is a basic reflex.
“I... I barely knew my family... I even forgot my parent's names and now... it's too late. It... shouldn't even be possible to screw up that badly.” I say muttering almost into the mattress. It feels very different, it's probably Luna's. I haven't payed much attention to the room. She sweeps up beside me and I don't even try to pull away as she cuddled up next to me.
Part of me, the small near powerless child wanted nothing more than to grab onto Luna and scream in pain. It was so tempting. I've been alone for over a century and now... it hits me square between the eyes. I hate feeling weak. It only invites pain.
“We don't choose who we love. You loved your family for the unconditional support they gave you. Their actions, ineffectual as they were meant the world to you.” Luna tells me and my head slouches until its fully on the mattress. The wing comes over and covers everything but my head. “I love you because I admire you, I relate to you, I pity you and you need all of it.” she says and I look up with an eyebrow raised. Pity? Pity?! Am I so pathetic that I get by on pity!? I don't need pity...
“Not like that.” Luna says as I turn away in disgust. I glance back. “You've been through worse than I have. So much worse... and you survived and grew stronger. I pity what you have been through, I feel wretched that somepony has gone through worse than I have. Yet, you never ever descended. You never went down to their level. Not one preemptive strike, not one case of torture. You stood stronger then I did. I admire that.” she tells me as she nuzzles me. I sigh in defeat.
“I'm not going to be able to change your mind on any of that am I?” I ask. I just don't have it in me to fight right now, I feel like I've fallen down a mountain, bouncing all the way. Luna's warm and her wing is soft. I lean into it. I've rested, so I'm not mentally tired. But my body and soul are exhausted.
I reach out with my soul to force it to stretch a little. It tends to help with the healing to be a little active. Oh crap... Luna's hurt and it's probably my fault. Staying on the good side of a god tends to be wise... “I'm sorry...” I say meekly, I'm not really able to get any other tone up with how exhausted I am. I get a nuzzle for this.
“We all do things we regret when we're hurt.” Luna says serenely and I nod at that. Basic wisdom there. “You don't have to answer... but... when was the last time you were safe and whole?” she asks me and I sigh to myself, and think.
Nothing. Only the most vague memories from when I was a child. When I was still with my family. The family that no longer exists... “A hundred and fifty years ago...” I mutter to myself barely able to believe it. Wow... just wow.
Luna tucks me in a little closer as I take stock of my physical situation. I'm hungry and my bowels are... let's call it uncomfortable. I feel like my face is bruised... probably due to crying so much and I feel... something in my eye sockets... I guess my new eyes are growing in. With a bit of concentration I can actually feel the empty strips in my wings where I'm missing parts as well as the absence of my horn. It's so disquieting to be able to feel that you're literally incomplete.
“How long was I asleep?” I ask curious as to how fast my metabolism is. She titters a little.
“It's the next day, just after sunrise.” she tells me and I nod. So it's about the same as before.
“I uhm... I kind of need to use the lavatory...” I say embarrassed to reveal that to someone. I glance up at her as she nods and helps me up. A door opens at the other side of the room. I can see the toilet and sink from here.
“I'm sure you want some privacy in that regard.” she states and I nod gratefully. I slowly cross the room the feeling of exhaustion increasing as I walk into the strangely fancy lavatory and close the door behind me. Why would it need to be made of polished marble and silver? Just get something easy to clean, the purpose of the room is filth why would you mix wealth in? The toilet took a bit for me to get up to the right level. A rather annoying reminder of how small I am.
I choose not to dwell on what I'm really doing but suffice to say... the smaller changes to my body make even basic actions a distressing experience. I won't dwell on it but to put things simply... that felt WEIRD.
With that blow against my humanity finished I clean myself off before washing my forehooves. Celestia had insisted on it... but I walk on the things anyways so... oh who cares. It's like good manners. I can get things with it but it costs practically nothing. A few moments later I walk out of the room, lighter but the burden of grief once again fully upon me. Focusing on the smallest of actions and the environment is both a great distraction and a way to stay alive.
It is hard to sneak up on someone staring at the entire room at once and focusing like a madman on any movement. Something that no less than three guilds worth of assassins and thousands of thieves have learned. It was always funny to pretend they weren't there and start tossing things casually over my shoulder, pretending to be a little crazy and trying to hit them blind every time. I actually ended up with fairly good over the shoulder aim, and more than a few would be killers and thieves dead by a dirty hunk of crystal charged with a death spell.
I'm at Luna's bed again and I climb up and onto it. I then walk over and slump down next to her, she want's to be comforting? Fine! Let's get some comfort. I really freaking need it... and something to drink too. Preferably heavily alcoholic.
“Any hopes for the day?” She asks me gently and I think for a moment.
“To find the wine cellar and to begin emptying it.” I say plainly not even trying for any harshness anymore.
“With how small you are you're liable to kill yourself.” Luna tells me with a slightly stern tone.
“I have a phylactery ready. I could eat a sword and walk it off.” I reply and she pulls me in closely until I'm tucked under her left leg.
“Neither of those things are going to happen. At all.” She says vehemently and I snort lightly. Supposing she's serious... how in hell does she expect to fulfill this?
“You do know that I attract trouble as a lodestone does iron.” I say trying to catch a wry tone again but a leftover sob makes it sound pathetic... I really need to stop crying. And I'm being nuzzled again.
“I... I scared my parents near senseless when they were already dead. They died because of me. They waited for a century before passing on in the face of hundreds saying I'm a monster. Why do you want that?” I ask her and I still can't shake the broken tone of voice. I just can't seem to emotionally distance myself enough. “I hate feeling so weak...” I whisper to myself and as Luna cuddled me closer I nearly sighed at this but didn't really have the strength. I've never felt so weak.
“There's so much more to raising a child than the grief. There is joy, love, learning and so much more, so much more for both of us.” She says and I look up at her for a moment but... I don't know enough about ponies to tell at a glance if she's being honest. I'm also far too tired and just plain beaten to try magic to figure things out.
“Fine...” I say through a sigh. I've managed to stop sobbing at last. It takes so much energy just to breathe at this point.
“Excuse me?” Luna asks sounding worried.
“You've offered when I was stronger, you offer when I'm weak. At this point... I don't really care anymore. So fine. I'll be your son. Your foal.” I say sounding completely destroyed. She says nothing and merely nuzzles me again.
Minutes pass in silence with only the slow creeping of light through the window to mark the passage of time. I honestly pictured something very different to be the way I'd finally be beaten. Granted I had pictured a god behind it, but not like this. “I pictured the end result being my soul being eaten or something. Not this...”
“What?” Luna asks sounding shocked, but she can't mentally turn quick enough to sound truly appalled. She's probably getting there though.
“Being beaten. I mean I knew a god would be needed to really take me down but... didn't picture this.” I mutter mostly to myself. I didn't realize I could care so little about my own fate, but here I am.
“Just how are you beaten? You have a phylactery ready, you're alive and healing. You've escaped your enemies and found sanctuary. How is any of that a loss?” she asks me and I sigh.
“I used the memories of my family to whip myself forwards. It was the anchor point of my morality, my will to keep going... it's gone now. Only Jacob, one of my almost hated brothers is left. This world may be safer, but it's not mine. I don't know the dangers or peoples or magics or... anything. A known danger is less a threat than unknown safety.” I say trying to grow more passionate but can only barely manage an even tone.
“That might take some explaining.” Luna tells me and I give out a sigh. It seems obvious to me.
“There's always danger. This is a fact. If you're surrounded by it and know it, you are safe because you can deal with it. If there isn't much and it's hidden... then you can fall into it without warning or preparation.” I tell her and she raises her head to mull over this bit of old wisdom for a moment.
“True enough, would you like to learn?” Luna offers and I look up at her before nodding. Nothing left to lose really. My pride's been shattered, my body is so weak as to be fragile, my magic is restricted to the most primal of uses, and it feels like my soul's been shredded.
“Why not? I've hit rock bottom.” I mutter to myself and I get a nuzzle.
“Then it's an upward journey from here on.” Luna tells me gently. I hope she's right. “Now, let's get you some breakfast. You missed a meal which is dangerous in your current state.” she says and I feel a slight burst of magic and a bell starts ringing. A few moments later a pale blue mare with a black mane and a white apron opens the door.
“What is it you would like Princess Luna?” she asks before spotting me. “Something for yourself and Prince Charon?” she asks and Luna nods. I twitch a little. A name... I still remember what my last one did to me. The maid is gone a moment later with a bow.
I just lay there for a while. I've got a bit more energy but still... I can't really think of anything to make this situation better. Luna's quiet too.
“I'm going to need something to do... or I'm going to start to rot.” I mutter to myself softly and Luna pulls back in a blur. I look up and see that she looks a little conflicted.
“Do you mean that literally?” she asks and my jaw drops for a second.
“Do I look like a corpse?” I ask her a little affronted. “What I meant is that if things sit still that's when death sinks in. In stillness lays rot.” I say rolling my shoulders a little.
“Well we can give you a boost on your education. Although putting you in school before you're finished healing is likely to be a bad idea. Anyplace you'd like to start?” Luna explains before asking and I actually smile a little. I'm only partially sure why I do so though.
“Geography.” I say simply. If I know the lay of the land survival becomes much easier. Also if I can convince her to show me history I can hide under the moniker of an old legend or find old places of power that others avoid. History is also helpful with crossing from one country to another.
“All right then, if you're feeling up to it after breakfast we'll begin then.” Luna says and a few moments later the doors open again and the maid is pushing in a table with wheels and a handle on it. There are two plates and cups on the table with an orange juice and what looks likes eggs and buttered toast with pastries.
“Thank you.” I say quietly before Luna does and she looks down at me with a slight smile. She's probably jumping to conclusions again. Luna thanks the maid and she leaves with a bow. A feeling of being dragged down again arises and I crush it ruthlessly. One thing at a time. Right now eat. Later learn about the land and its past. Then... I don't know. I've never felt so... so lost in my whole life.
Sorry if the quality went down. I just received a rejection from a publishing agent... so I kinda took a shot right in the muse. Sorry.
"WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR THIS STORY!!!"
I yelled in caps lock.
1676969 I think it's getting better. Keep up the good work.
1676969 iz ok
That was a very sweet chapter, nice work!
1676969
The quality actually increased in my opinion. I thought this was a great chapter
Well....
I dunno.
The chapter was great, just cant really think of anything to say.
1676969 do not worry i thought it was great and no matter what anyone says you are a doing use a great favor writing this for us
1676969 I'm sad to hear that and i hope that next time is the good one
1676969
eh, lifes a bitch. Don't let it get ya down!.......ok brutal honesty has arrived! it probably will though and that was my inner AJ!
LOVE YOU LOVE STORY
Awesome as always.
IM LOVING THIS STORY!!!
Yells with caps
1676969 You're actually an accomplished writer? Ouch...I'm sorry to hear about your rejection! I guess that's why the chapter kinda took a bit to publish and is kinda depressing heh. Anyway I loved it as always, good job! Also keep trying. There are multiple publishers out there and I am sure one will accept your submission eventually!
I AGREE WITH 1677021 AND 1677170, I LOVE THIS STORY
This guy is experiencing more character development then most 20+ chapter characters. I think you are doing something right.
1677175 I'm trying to be one... getting off the ground is hard. I've finished my story and you'd better believe that if I get it published there will be a crossover on this site. Still... wait three weeks for a no... so annoying...
Great chapter as always, seeing this update always lifts my mood.
Lunamom is best Luna. Period.
you would think there would be a spell that catches your body up to the age of your soul... or... something? ... i dunno.
I'm looking forward to him getting into school. I'm betting he'll have fanfillies, bullies, or both. It'll be fun seeing him deal with them
He should totally go out in conquests or adventure when he's older.
Searching for lost and forgotten magical treasures. :D
Also, since he is technically Luna's son isn't he next in line for the throne? :/
I mean, yeah, Celestia will never die but what if she wants to retire in a few hundred years?
Furthermore, he's an Alicorn too, right?
Or is he a Pegacorn (Weaker version? Both Unicorn and Pegasus but has a weaker version of their powers combined?)... :?
Anyway, maybe they could look into that, if he is an Alicorn then he will eventually be granted godly powers and immortality.
I want to see his reaction when he has constant flowing hair. XD
Lastly, I think it would be awesome if he starts school at college level, all the other ponies would be like;
"What? That's so not fair!!!"
And then he shows how totally smart he is, add to the fact that he is Luna's son.
...
SO MUCH AWESOME!!! :D
Gawd, I can't wait to see what happens next... O_O
i.imgur.com/sBiZ9.jpg
AMAZING! Being a fan of Dungeon and Dragons and playing a Necromancer most of time this brings a WHOLE NEW SIDE of Necromancy.
Also hope you don't mind but I made a similiar character for a friends game LOL!
Still very good story! /
this story makes me want to snuggle with luna
1677521, I would snuggle with Queen Chrysalis. I don't care who it is, if they aren't trying to kill me, I will snuggle with them.
1677614 What if by snuggling her she ended up devouring your soul? Through Snuggling.
1677243 Either they are being pretentious and making you wait on purpose or they get ALOT of submissions they have to go through. Also a crossover from your characters? Cool. Cross over with your foal necromancer? Oh and what is your story about by the way, is it fantasy, adventure, etc.?
1677243 Well Kytranis, when you make it big time don't forget about us. We still want to read MORE of this story! This was a good chapter to add to the plot of the story, but a few mistakes. One being you put "mind reading doesn't tell you that" twice.
Keep going with this great story.
1677666, that would be trying to kill me. And I would help Cryssy learn diplomacy, so ponies and changelings could at least live in the same area.
1677676 The story is about a young man who finds out that he was kidnapped as an infant... when he's kidnapped back by his birth family. Mix in his uncle the leader of a KKK style group that used illegal magic to transform him on top of kidnapping him in the first place and you have one hell of a problem. As for the setting it's urban fantasy where the line between mundane and magic is so thin that the secret works on the honor system. The honor system being that if you expose someone you have to get them lessons so they don't do anything stupid.
' '''whatever game your playing ' '''
you're
sorry saw it and it had to go
I don't know about the quality, as I don't exactly analyze your writing, but this seems like another solid chapter
Although I can definitely say its pretty soaked with disappointment, which might be a reflection of your current feelings... which in this case fits the chapter pretty well anyways. Just don't let it get ya down for too long
getting better not worse
1676969
If you lost one muse, just remember there's 8 more!
Wait, its 7, so 6 more!
DERp!
You're doing great. You're harnessing whatever feelings you're having at the moment and putting them into the chapters, that's good, go with it. I love this story and I sincerely hope you don't go on hiatus. It seems that all the good writers on this site put great stories on hiatus because they join the military. It's a conspiracy.
I'd say that the reason that they didn't publish you're work. Is because it seems like just a bit much.
That's just my opinion as a person who reads a lot of books. I mean no offense in any way.
Also the honor system....well it seems a little lenient. I would put in special type of magic that can be used to make people think whatever they saw or were told was just a trick. Like a reverse PR group. Otherwise, by now, everyone would know about magic.
1677961 The reason it's on an honor system is because all ability to keep it a secret was destroyed in WW2. When you have thousands of ten meter tall men made of metal marching to Germany and werewolves attacking these things you can't keep such a thing a secret. The secret's on it's last legs though so some conspiracy nuts are trying to keep it up. They're fighting a losing battle.
Very good chapter, the only thing that stood out for me was
I think the saying is "i before e, except after c. Except weird because it's weird." At least, the first half is. The second half is a demonstration of how utterly fucked up the english language is, with more exceptions than rules, and there's a metric ton of those.
But I digress.
...But I don't have anything else to say now. Yay?
And then he was poisoned, really, healing or no you keep the poison filter on at ALL times.
1677021
I AGREE WITH THINE USAGE OF ROYAL CANTER-LOCK!!!!
Good chapter bit short but the emotions made up for it.
I'll have to read this book of yours sound interesting
NO TOO SHORT! Moooar :(
1676969 sry about your rejection. but im absolutely loving the story. i cant wait till he goes to school!! Just more MORE!
1676969 what are you talking about, the quality of this story didn't went down, in fact I think it increased, because it has me wanting for more.
In the vast beyond,a castle of black lies in Necros Valley along with it's ruler bearing a crown of thorns.Prince Charon, god of life, death, and preservation watches over the fallen souls.
this came to mind for his future
also great chap
Oddly enough, what I love most about this story is how Luna is killing her new son with kindness, love and affection. Technically in a way, he is right. The great necromancer was brought down at last and it took a goddess to do it. but he's reading too much negative-ness into it and is idiot for not taking her love as true and at face value or whatever the appropriate phrase is.
That last bit was a little confusing though. Is he trying to plan an actual escape or is he just merely curious about the new world he's in?
More please
How the mighty have fallen, such a disappointment to see him like this, but I suppose you can't please everyone. Great story, I await the next chapter.
I don't tend to write many comments to the stories i read on here as most likely any thing I can say has already been said, but in this case I think i do need to say it anyway. I've read lots of comedies on fimfiction and while most make me laugh in one way or another, none but this one has ever made me laugh so hard I had a coughing fit. Don't let publisher rejections get you down. This day and age of the internet you might even be able to self publish it and get it on e-book stores with ease and probably still make money off of it.
OH GAWD, he's going to school. am i the only one picturing him playing tag with the crusaders with him randomly yelling "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE ... OR DEAD!!"