Rape, sexism, racism, vile acts and views that humanity looks at with deepest of loathing. But Equestria a magical world inhabited by ponies, have no such issue openly embracing it.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Me like new version!
Complete re-write?
Dude you rewrite everything. Not bad though
4749053 Dude its not gone they are still their i will just add more to them and make it better
That's a pretty bold move to rewrite everything. Especially after how much was already written. Props for making a difficult decision. As sad as I am to see this great story even temporarily gone, I'm looking forward to what the rewrite has in store for us. What will you bring us Distorted Flare?
~The Rift Walker
4749293 he still ends up with five kids and eight mares it will just be more drawn out most of the chapters are staying it is just that they will be accompanied with new ones.
I was hoping for the next chapter to the story. You left it on a cliff hanger but I am looking foreword to see how the rewrite go's. If it all possible can you leave the old story of your rewrite of the story for comparison?
Dragonfox
OK so far I like this version more than the last.
One part I like is how you changed on how Main six went completely un-trusting of Lachlan when they learned he ate meat, I mean seriously they all keep pets that eat meat for pits sake.
Great chapter. Lachlan appears to be more stable and mature.
Interesting. He's still gonnaget Eris, Chrysalis, and Razor Wing to be part of his herd. Right?
Also, I thought about the idea of making Tirek into a female centaur but I threw that out because it scared me. This chapter is more thorough then the others before it. Still a few mistakes here and there but still an improvement.
4749762 I think it'd be funny if Tirek had a daughter that hated her father's guts, or a niece because in the show they mentioned his brother I think... don't remember.
I think u should add fluttershy to that group
since she was the first to mate with him and
should a kid of her own. Because I think it's odd he seems (in the previous story) to only in pregnant the immortal god ones and not the others unless your going to that later since your rewrite it
Oh good job by the way I really like this story.
Alright this is pretty good.
Still looking for an editor? Try the Editor Group they have plenty that ain't mediocre, such as myself.
4749999
And then Lachlan bones her and Tirek is banished. And Lachan adds another member to the herd. This should probably take place in the love of mares. How about Distorted Flare takes a vote?
Are you.... Rewritting your story?
I'm surprised I'm not mad about you wiping this story a new slate
Maybe because I know you can make this right?
Keep up the good work, sonny
Wait. Did you restart or something?
I do hope you are doing this story in paper so you can work on it later.
More coming? Please?
Wait a minute, I'm confused, what happened to the other 22 chapters!?
4751143 Maybe, Maybe not it will depend?
4753292 he restarted it to make it better
4753714
I say go for it. You already turned Sombra into Umbra, gave Discord a daughter, and had Chrysalis have a niece. I really don't think giving Tirek a daughter or turning Tirek into a female would be much of a surprise at this point. But hey, I'll let you be the judge.
Is it me or did it sound like that Twilight was telling Lachlan that his suffering was annoying and not important, well in her own way?
Sorry if I had miss interpeted the last few parts of this chapter, but that's what it sounds like to me.
4756396 In a way that is the case she thinks he is being dramatic.
4756404
So tell with the re-written version of the story, are they going to be better individuals, meaning more kind, understanding, and possibly more intellent than they were before, or are they going to be worse than they were before?
So far, I like this rewrite. Lachlan seems for thoughtful and mature, which is a huge bonus. I hope he continues to develop that. By that, I hope he learns to pick his battles, knowing when to speak up, when not to or when to trust somepony. My original complaint with him originally was how it seemed like Lachlan could be easily led along. I hope that he retains some weariness of Equestria and his surroundings and make better decisions. I don't expect him to be right in every instance but to be at least be thoughtful about what he decides to do or believe.
Keep up the good work and I'll stay tuned for what you have next!
Very good, much more mature writing.
im confused when did u say that u were rewriting this story
Distorted flare I'll be a proof reader for you
Woah. I must have missed the memo. I downloaded the story forever ago, was reading through it and decided to come back here and see if more chapters were added and then I was like Where'd all the chapters go???
I love this new version!
I'm going to ask the obvious question. Which chapters are you going to rewrite and what chapters are going to stay the same?
4783022 The newer ones I had will mostly be the same but for the earlier I will do more modification
4784008 Ah! So its more editing whats already there than starting from scratch. Good to know as that wont take nearly as long as a full rewrite would have, and stating as such will let you readers know that it wont take as long between updates.
4784008 NICE remake XD
here's my review
the chapter was good and a bit funny and it was really good to read it it was a bit gross but nothing I can't handle
and it was also interesting to read it made me think that your a ok guy and really know how to make a fan fic (my little half brother used to have a really good talent at writing stories which from what I heard from his grade 6 teacher a few years back that he impressed his teacher aaannnddd also impressed me XD)
flare you keep them coming and don't end it anytime soon :)
Ps. did you get my message about my OC and his background
Cant wait to see more of this! Should be interesting!
Also, I give the new chapter 2 5/5 mustaches
Updateon the secent: lust of maras pleas
I loved it all another awesome read I'm happy that thing got better and I can't wait tell they find out about what his sperm can do please update soon I want to see all the new part and remember all the old.
4818729 Cant wait to find out about his sperm...
That... sounds a bit odd to me >.>
4822838 Just a bit.
4822841 Lol comment up for ten seconds flat and a response. "Just a bit" he says. I love this guy.
4822846 hey I actually give a shit about my fans. Though all the same my new fic i am working on is going to be the best one yet. this time it is Dusk shine as a colt dealing with the grief of being raped by Molestia who has trapped Celestia in her sub concious so she can only watch as her pupil is raped and humiliated by the lust queen. end result she ends up pregnant and Dusk shine ends up a young dad at thirteen forced to raise a child that Celestia can not admit is hers. So it builds on a sad relationship where two ponies due to one evil pony are now stuck neither comfortable around the other and dusk Shine having to spend all his time with the ridicule at getting a mare pregnant at thirteen. His family ostracize him save his sister and assistant Glimmer shield and his baby dragon Scales and we see his life as he raises a foal from a teen to a young adult.
I already have two chapters done and ready to go but i plan to get more done before I publish.
4822838 No I meant that it's super fertile and can get all species pregnant and can give lot of boy's and what ever seecies like alicorn he can make them to.
4825200 Its not what you said, its the WAY you said it. I was just joshing you anyways
I think I missed something, and I was wondering what is thing about Lachlan's sperm, I think I missed that part, can someone bush me up on what that was about?
4829527 What in the name of the Royal Sisters is this sperm obsession?
4832524 I was curious, like you. I just wanted to know why they were taking about it and that if its connected to a change in the story, so I wanted to know what change was it?:
4829085 I know I just wanted to make it clear.
4832972 I know I know I was just being a trollestia