TheDorkside99
Joined 1st Jan, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Schrodinger's Pony · 48k words · 528 9 · 13k views
- CinnamonSwirltheBreaded · 4.7k words · 133 5 · 3.1k views
- Softy8088 · 77k words · 1,200 122 · 18k views
- Wahtiff · 38k words · 352 31 · 12k views
- LDSocrates · 8k words · 1,066 28 · 9.6k views
- Arreis Of Avalon · 6.9k words · 258 3 · 4.8k views
- Snake Staff · 38k words · 512 24 · 7.8k views
- kalash93 · 1.4k words · 62 5 · 2.4k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.136 seconds
Total duration
976 users online
342,262 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Holy crap, that's deep. Nice one shot, I could definitely read this again if I wanted to do so. Short and sweet.
Aaaaand first. I had to get that off my chest. Please don't hate me!
dafuuq did i just read
My goodness that was amazing
t.qkme.me/35670r.jpg
Um, explanation? I'm a little lost here. I take it Shining Armor cheated on Cadence or something, but there's no evidence in that to measure by.
Wow... my mind is blown
1484211
The way I see it. She lost him to his duty as a Royal Guard.
1484211
Fury's right on the money. The idea is Shining Armor lost Princess Cadence to his absorption within and incessant talks about his job as captain of the royal guard.
Really, this story was an exercise in the "show, don't tell" department. I tried to maximize show (scenery, detail, generalizations, etc.) and reduce telling as close to 0% as possible. Whether or not I failed to tell a compelling enough story is subjective and, to be honest, the least of my worries. I'm just a writer trying to get better.
Hope you enjoyed it though
That is all.
1485497
It tweaked some feels I suppose, but it's lacking something. Part of it is that the story felt like she'd maybe gone and killed herself or something. It's not clear why she would be so bothered by him being that way, it's not like she seemed to have any problem being happy prior to them getting married. It's just hard to imagine a stable person getting married and then getting that derailed over less than expected happiness.
Also, Shining Armor does seems to be like fixated on his position a bit in the show. It seems that that's almost the defining characteristic of who he is in life, so it's a tad hard to understand how she could have missed that little "problem" the whole time.
I guess it just feels like you left out the actual critical points in the story somehow.