114. Tricks and Treats
“I am not saying that you shouldn’t have done that,” Matthias told Guard and Tucker while rubbing his eyes; he was already tired of this discussion, “but as paladins, you should have more restraint. Violence should never be used to solving problems before trying other options.”
He was mildly surprised when he heard from Princess Celestia about the brawl in Neighyadh his two paladins had sort of started. Matthias, of course, knew about this odd agreement Commander Hurricane had made with the Saddle Arabia's sultan of that time. However, he hadn’t expected… okay, maybe he expected Tucker to start something, but not Guard Shield. The older stallion always seemed calm and collected.
“Sir, with all due respect, you weren’t there,” Tucker replied. “This delegate Celestia brought with us is cool - which is funny, considering how hot his wife is, bow-chicka-bow-wow - but everypony there must have inverted dicks to treat mares like this! And you have to be an idiot to call a pony that can drop a sun on them a-”
“Yes, I understand,” Matthias interrupted him, not wanting to hear such an insult of his liege and friend. “Trust me when I say that I share your sentiments, and that I will request from the Princess to allow me to accompany her next time to see Neighyadh for myself. But regardless of the horses’… different customs-”
“And complete idiocy of those…”
“-by beating them up nothing will ever be changed,” he continued, ignoring Tucker. “Once the bruising you gave them disappears, so will the lesson they learned vanish from their minds.”
“And how would you have wished us to change a nation which has been stuck in this mindset for longer than Equestria existed, sir?” Guard asked, with his voice as controlled as ever.
Not having an answer to this question, Matthias could only sight. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “And I suspect I would have done pretty much the same, but we must stride to do better in our service to the Light.” He tapped his desk, wondering if there was something else he should tell them. Nothing came to his mind. “That’s all; you may go.”
He waited for the two paladins to leave before he leaned back into his chair and whirled around. “‘I would have done pretty much the same’,” he snorted in his thoughts. “I would have ripped them to pieces for offending Celestia like that.”
Matthias couldn’t help but wonder how would his father deal with a country that had such strange customs, that treated females as a second category of populace… there wasn’t even a civilized land on Azeroth like that.
“It’s no wonder Commander Hurricane wanted to wage war on them,” Matthias thought bitterly. “The pegasi were the only one of the three tribes to have mares and stallions fully equal at the time, but even the earth ponies and the unicorns weren’t as nearly awful to females as Saddle Arabia.”
Finally, the knock on his door gave Matthias an excuse to stop thinking about Equestria’s southern neighbour. He knew who that was, for he himself had sent one of them to get the other this morning.
“Come in,” Matthias said, preparing himself.
Two ponies entered through the door; one was Storm Clash, who Matthias himself had asked earlier today to escort the pony beside him. The other was a unicorn mare, dressed in attire that had immediately reminded him of Dalaran… if the town of mages would be ruled by kids in ages from five to ten. Both her huge, pointy hat and cape were purple with silver and gold stars on them. The cape was tied under her neck with a blue gem. Her horn was covered by the hat, so Matthias wouldn’t even know she’s a unicorn if he hadn’t gotten her description from his friends.
“Hello, Miss Trixie,” Matthias greeted her. “Please, have a sit,” he added, pointing at the pillow on the opposite side of his desk.
The blue pony that enslaved the entire Ponyville recently had nothing of the boastfulness he’s been warned about. Trixie nodded meekly and sit at the pillow, trying to avoid his gaze. Matthias glanced at Storm, who stood in attention besides the door. The pegasus shrugged. Matthias guessed that the unicorn must fear that he asked for her to come to face some sort of punishment for her actions.
“If Twilight hadn’t talked with me first, she might have,” he thought before he cleared his throat.
“It has come to my attention that you had recently had in your possession an artifact known as the Alicorn Amulet, correct?” he asked her, despite knowing the answer.
“W-well, yes…” Trixie stuttered, taking off her hat and holding it in her forehooves. “but I didn’t know it would make me do such horrible things, I swear!”
Matthias watched at her shivering form and felt pity; he decided to disperse her worries.
“I think you are under the impression you were brought her to face the consequences of your actions,” he told her and Trixie glanced up in confusion. “Let me reassure you; your actions were pardoned by Princess Celestia per Twilight Sparkle’s request, sparing you from facing all possible charges.”
His words had a curious effect: Trixie both sighed with relief and looked down in shame.
“I suspect that even if you were put on trial, you would get a minimal punishment due to being under the influence of the Amulet,” Matthias continued. “In my opinion you should pay for you actions in some form, but it’s out of my hooves.”
“And if it weren’t, I’m willing to bet I would let Twilight talk me out of it.”
“B-but it was this Amulet-” Trixie tried to say.
“I know, but the fact that you put it on you with an intent to use it against Twilight remains,” he cut her off. “Magical artifacts that corrupt their users influence them through those dark parts of us: doubts, fears… or hatreds.”
“I’m not different from you. Frostmourne… Ner’zhul and Mal’Ganis led me a one hell of a merry dance.”
“But, as I had already mentioned, this is not why you are here,” he shook, as if physically wanting to shed those thoughts. “I send knight Storm Clash to get you for two reasons. The first being,” Matthias paused and joined his hooves before his face, “I want to know the location of the place where you acquired the Alicorn Amulet.”
“Oh, that…” Trixie exclaimed, a relief crossing her features. Her horn glowed with a pinkish light. From her right side, the purple star-spotted coat lifted, and from a shoulder pocket the unicorn levitated a flyer.
She gave it to Matthias, who read it in confusion. The flyer was advertising a curio shop somewhere in Canterlot. “Wait, let me get this straight:” the paladin asked, pressing his hoof against his forehead: “you bought a powerful artifact that slowly corrupted you… in a curio shop?!”
“Y-yes,” Trixie replied, probably taken aback by his disbelief. “I was too surprised when I noticed it a corner of that picture at the back.”
“That’s just…” Matthias tried to put it in words how ridiculous this concept seemed to him, but failed. The thought of an object that reminded him of Frostmourne being bought in a shop was just too ludicrous. “Ugh, whatever, this means I can dump this on Night Guard and wash my hooves of it. Where did you come upon this flyer, anyway?” he asked, placing the object in question in desk’s locker.
“It was in the room I had been sleeping in at the rock farm when I was working there. The owners mentioned that their older daughter must have left it the last time she was there.”
“Please tell me that daughter of theirs didn’t buy… I dunno, a Battle-Saddle of Doom or something from there,” Matthias exclaimed, hiding his face in his hooves.
He heard a snicker escape Storm’s mouth and could feel Trixie’s surprised gaze upon himself, but at the moment, Matthias didn’t care. That was what he just needed right now; another serious, but absurd problem. He still hadn’t recovered after the Pink Incident…
“Um, I believe they’ve mentioned something about… an Orb of Destiny?” Trixie pondered this matter for a moment. “Hmm, I think there was the word ‘fate’ somewhere in the middle…”
“Hopefully, the owner of the shop has a ledger of sorts,” Matthias told her, losing interest on this subject; the Night Guard could handle it by themselves. “Let’s deal with the other reason why I had asked you to come here; I can imagine you would like finish this matter and be free.”
Trixie gave him an awkward smile. Matthias had to admit that there was some charm to the mare, even though he should hate her for hurting Twilight.
“After you had mentioned to Twilight your… financial problems over the course of the last two years, she couldn’t let it continue with a clear conscience,” the paladin said, gaining a surprise-confused-ashamed look in return. “That is why she asked me if I have any idea how to help you. Are you free three weeks from now?”
“Huh?!” Trixie exclaimed in shock. “W-well, yes, I suppose… but I don’t-”
“Because that’s when you will be performing in Los Pegasus.”
Matthias hoped the jaw-dropping to the floor wasn’t a part of her act; otherwise quite a number of ponies would be rather disappointed. “Whudda- hud-d-duh- hud-d-duh- huh?!” was about the only thing the paladin caught from her stuttering, as she stared at him with both of her eyes wider than than a moon.
“You will perform your magic show in Los Pegasus’ Mirage Hotel, where you’ll also be staying,” he continued. “Everything has already been prepared. If ponies like your show, then the owner of Mirage Hotel will talk with you about a permanent contract.”
“But….” Trixie muttered, still unable to comprehend was what going on. “How? Why?”
“Hmm…” Matthias pondered which question to answer first. “As for ‘why?’; it’s because Twilight asked me to help you. And as for ‘how?’; it’s amazing what you can get when you are the godfather of the daughter of the Princess of the Night,” he told Trixie with a wink. “Speaking of Luna, she will be there in Los Pegasus for a couple of days on some royal duties, so you can expect her to be within the audience.”
That was too much for Trixie to take while sitting. With a ‘thump’, she lost her balance and fell on the floor. Matthias managed to hold in an amused smirk as he went to her to see if she was alright. He guessed she must be, because before he managed to make those few steps Trixie was already getting up with Storm’s help.
“I- I don’t know what to say…” she stammered weakly.
“Then don’t say anything,” Matthias replied warmly. “You’ve been only given a chance; whether you will turn it into a success is up to you. But if in the next hour or so you will figure out what you want to say, then I’m sure Twilight will like to hear it. She wanted to say goodbye to you on the train station.”
He glanced at Storm, who nodded. The pegasus unfolded his wing and from within he took a train ticket.
“I also paid for you ticket to Los Pegasus,” Matthias said as Trixie, still bewildered, took it from Storm. “I hope you don’t mind that it’s for a train leaving so soon; I was under the impression that, due to you recent actions, it might be best if you’d left Ponyville as soon as possible. If you would like to stay a bit, though, I’m sure it won’t be too much of a problem to exchange the ticket.”
“No no, it’s fine,” Trixie replied, hugging the ticket as if her life depended on it. “I got a few angry glances on my way here… and besides, I will have to start practicing for the show. Thank you so much, Sir Lightbringer! I… The Great and Powerful Trixie will be sure to bewilder the ponies of Los Pegasus, so that the voucher for her show she will give you one day will be highly desired by all of Equestria!” she proclaimed, her attitude returning to the one Matthias has been warned about.
“I will be looking forward to that day,” the paladin said, a bit amused by the way she spoke. “Light be with you, Miss Trixie.”
Storm smiled as he watched the happy mare leave Sir Lightbringer’s office; she was feeling pretty down all the way to the Abbey, so it heartened the young pegasus paladin to see her so brightened.
“That went well,” he commented out loud, glancing at Sir Lightbringer. The head paladin was sitting on his chair again. There was one thing that struck him as odd. “Sir, if I may… why did you say that you would prefer for her to pay for what she did? I mean, you yourself had once been…”
“Do you think I haven’t paid for my crimes?” Sir Lightbringer replied with a tired and sad smile. He sighed and looked once again at the flyer Trixie gave him. “Although, what I did was far worse than what Trixie did here in Ponyville… and as such, I think I should have been punished more severely,” He trailed off as his brow furrowed. “But I most certainly did not have that cursed thing bought in a curio shop. What kind of idiot gets such an artifact and sells it to somepony… whose source of income was working on a rock farm?!”
“I… huh?” Storm Clash asked, not sure if he was asking him.
He was spared further diving into this discussion by a knock on the door. “Come in,” Sir Lightbringer called, his face betraying that he didn’t expect anypony as he put the flyer down.
The door opened, revealing the mare who was occupying Storm’s mind more often than anypony else past those couple of days: Rarity. Her attention drifted from Sir Lightbringer to him as soon as she noticed him, and smiled brightly, making the pegasus feel as if his hearts got its own pair of wings and tried to soar up into the sky.
“Ah, perfect, Storm. You’re here as well,” Rarity said. She glanced at her saddlebag and lightened her horn, levitating two small pieces of paper.
Storm took the one Rarity moved to him with his hoof as the blue aura disappeared from it and read the stylistic word INVITATION written on it.
“Those are invitations to my birthday party this week,” Rarity explained. “I hope you don’t mind that I’m giving you them on such short notice; I’ve… kind of forgotten.”
“You forgot about your own birthday?” Storm asked in confusion.
Rarity blushed with embarrassment. “Well, with all the orders I had this past month, not to mention all the exciting things that happened in Ponyville - which you are partially responsible, Storm Clash,” she told him with a faked pretense, “unless you think that the Initiation the four of you went through wasn’t exciting - it had slipped my mind. I would have probably never remembered it if I hadn’t bumped into Pinkie this morning. You two will be able to make it, right?” Rarity asked with worry. “I already lost a chance to invite Serenity.”
“Unless there will be some evil spirit of some kind going on a rampage on the other side of Equestria, I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t make it,” Sir Lightbringer calmed her down.
“Now, Matt, don’t jinx it. It’s unwise to tempt fate like this,” Rarity chided. She then turned to Storm and asked: “You will come as well, won’t you?”
Storm Clash felt his cheek growing red. “Yes, of course!” he replied hastily.
He was rewarded with a sight of one of the most beautiful smiles that could exist in this world.
“Who else is coming?” Sir Lightbringer asked, making Rarity turn her head.
“Only our closest friends,” the white unicorn said. She then frowned thoughtfully. “Do you think I should invite Nymph as well? It might make the poor dear feel more welcome.”
“It would be really kind of you, Rarity. I’m sure Nymph would be happy; I got the feeling that she wants to become friendlier with ponies. She actually went this morning to see Twilight.”
“Then I will go look for her there,” Rarity said. “I would have invited Wind Reaver too, but I don’t know if he… well, he doesn’t seem as interested in changing ponies’ opinion about changelings as Nymph. And he might not want to attend, seeing how his marefriend is still missing.”
“Yes, I think so as well,” Sir Lightbringer replied. “But perhaps you should ask Nymph’s opinion… then again, this is your party. You will do what you think is best… as always, I might add,” the head paladin added with a strange gleam in his eye.
To Storm’s confusion, Rarity blushed a bit as she coughed. “Yes, well, I will think about it. It would be lovely to have everypony happy… which reminds me: since on my way here I was given a hug from smiling and bouncing Trixie, I assume you found some solution for her problems?”
“Luna managed to convince the owner of Mirage Hotel in Los Pegasus to let her perform once. What happens from here is up to Trixie.”
“Oh my, the Mirage Hotel!” Rarity exclaimed in recognition of the name. “That’s one of the most prestigious hotels in all of Equestria… well; it was, until one of its star performers had that nasty accident. Since then they had been slowly losing a lot of patrons.”
“Perhaps Miss Trixie will lure new ones, then?” Storm asked.
From the look Rarity gave him he learned that the white unicorn hadn’t completely forgiven her yet. “I guess that would be nice,” she said coldly, then shook and once again brightened. “Now, boys, if you will excuse me, I have a lot of things to do today.”
“Of course,” Sir Lightbringer said. “See you later.”
“Bye,” Storm added.
She flashed him one more smile that made him feel as if he was melting inside his armor and was gone. Storm took another look at the invitation, and by doing so caught a whiff of perfume Rarity had sprinkled it in.
“Maybe on her birthday party I will manage to ask her out…” he mused, drinking in the aroma. “It would be perfect; she would be happy after… after…” he trailed off as the dreadful realization came upon him. “... after receiving gifts from her friends...”
He groaned and grabbed his head. “What the hay am I suppose to give a pony like her?!”
“I’ve been there,” an amused chuckle came from Sir Lightbringer. Storm looked at him, both miserable and puzzled. “When I had realized that I became such close friends with Rarity and the others, I also realized that I will have to think of good gifts for them on their birthdays and such. Fortunately, I had it covered for a few weeks now.”
“Good for you, sir,” Storm murmured. He sighed and straightened up. “If you will excuse me, I have something to think about.”
“Sure,” Sir Lightbringer replied, dismissing him.
He exited the office and made his way out of the barracks, wondering what he could possibly give Rarity. It didn’t take a big of a mind stretch to figure that gifts such as jewelry would be most sought by the beautiful mare, but Storm needed something within his pay limit.
“Maybe I could ask one of her friends what she likes…” he pondered as he came outside. “But how should I ask them about it so I won’t tip them off that I plan to ask Rarity out?”
He stopped his musing when he noticed a dark shape in the air, incoming very fast. Storm began reaching for Spring Binder, but relaxed when the flyer was close enough to become recognisable; it was Wind Reaver. The changeling landed next to him and Storm was about to greet him when something struck him as odd.
“Um… why are you pressing your eye?” he asked Wind Reaver.
The changeling took his hoof off his left side of the face, revealing no visible changes, other than he kept his eyelid half-closed.
“No reason,” he replied, giving an awkward and somewhat painful smile.
“That stupid, arrogant, disgusting freak…” Rainbow murmured angrily, as she scrubbed her coat viciously under the shower, wanting to wash away the feeling of her own body caressing her.
It took her a few moments, but she had finally snapped once Wind Reaver’s hooves touched her flank. Immediately, she pushed him away and hit him - still appearing as her - right in the eye. As he changed back, Rainbow asked him what the hay was did he think he was doing.
“Well, I thought I was going to quite literally screw you over, but-” he had replied with a smirk.
Rainbow didn’t give him a chance to finish that thought. She threw herself at him and kicked him violently in the stomach. Her hooves ached from the contact with his chitin, but it was worth it to see him curl up on the ground. Once Rainbow was satisfied he got the message, she flew back to her house, and proceeded to clean her body. Washing both from this experience - which she started by pouring almost boiling water down her throat to forget the sensation of her own tongue caressing her adenoids - as well as sweat from their race.
Pity she couldn’t wash away the words he told her. They stuck to her mind, like some sort of parasite… which was amusing, considering their source.
You are so self-obsessed that you use one of your friends, despite knowing how another one feels about him.
“Is he right?” Rainbow thought, pressing her head against the wall of her bathroom as hot water poured on her. “Am I… a bad friend?”
No, she couldn’t be. Both Twilight and Matt were fine with how things were…
Rainbow thought back. Back to what Twilight said in Altomare, and during the slumber party. Back to the quite enjoyable then moments of their joined afterglow, when she and Matt simply laid next to each other.
Back to the few times he was asleep and she awake.
Twilight’s gaze scanned everypony on the train station, searching for Trixie. Matt sent her a message that the train towards her destination - which he didn’t reveal, cause that annoying colt just loved to keep her in suspense - would be leaving at first past noon, which was ten minutes from now. The lavender unicorn had finally located the mare she searched for by the trash can, throwing a wrapping from peanut butter crackers and a bottle of apple juice into it.
“Trixie!” Twilight called out as she approached. “I see you took Matt’s offer.”
“How couldn’t I?” the blue unicorn who just two days ago had thrown her out of town smiled in reply. “He and Princess Luna had managed to transact me a deal with Mirage Hotel in Los Pegasus!”
“Mirage Hotel? Wow, Trixie, I’m so happy for you!” Twilight exclaimed, and she truly meant it.
Even with her secluded lifestyle prior to coming to Ponyville Twilight had heard about Mirage Hotel; how couldn’t she, as few of the greatest illusionist of the modern era performed there? Contrary to what a lot of ponies thought, this school of magic was far more complicated than mere parlor tricks, although when used as such provided quite a lot of entertainment.
Which was why Twilight was here.
“I don’t know how to thank you, Twilight,” Trixie said, her voice broken from happiness and shame. “Sir Lightbringer told me you asked him to think of something… I just can’t believe that after all I did-”
“Hey, come on, I already said I forgive you, didn’t I?” Twilight interrupted her, feeling awkward from her praising. “I wish you the best of luck.”
“Yeah, I might need it. If I want to have a permanent contract with Mirage Hotel, I will have to give them quite a show,” the other mare said, and Twilight detected a hint of nervousness.
“Well, I have a gift for you that might help you,” she said, reaching with her magic to her saddlebag and grabbing the book she had only recently ordered. She didn’t even have the time to read it carefully. “This,” Twilight told Trixie, levitating it to her, “is ‘Labyrinth of Mirrors’ by Fata Morgana. It’s a spellbook with a lot of illusions spells in it; I figure you will have a natural talent for them.”
Trixie opened her mouth as she reached with her own magic for the book. “F-for me?” she asked, taking her eyes off the big letters on the front. “After everything…?”
“Of course!” Twilight smiled warmly. “Everypony deserve a second chance-”
The rest of what she was going to say was lost as Trixie’s forelegs wrapped themselves around her body and pressed her against the blue unicorn’s chest. But that wasn’t what made Twilight stop talking. Her silence was forced by a pair of lips pressed against her and the tongue that slipped into her mouth.
Twilight was so shocked that she didn’t even react. She just stood there as Trixie kissed her, Twilight’s eyes wide as she looked blankly at the other mare’s closed ones. When Trixie had finally pulled herself away from her, Twilight shook weakly.
“I just don’t know how to thank you!” Trixie gasped, oblivious to the torpor she put her in. “I will be forever grateful! If you’ll ever want to see my show you will have a free ticket waiting for you!”
A whistle signaling that the train was about to leave sounded across the station.
“I guess that’s my cue,” Trixie said cheerfully as she once again hugged Twilight and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you again, Twilight.”
Twilight mumbled something in reply, as Trixie let her go and made her way to the train. Once inside, she waved at her as the train began to leave the station. Unsure how to react to everything, Twilight waved back, smiling awkwardly.
Once Trixie’s face disappeared from her sight, she sighed and looked down at the ground. “Well, that was unexpected,” Twilight thought, looking at her shadow. “I hope I didn’t give Trixie the wrong idea; it would be really awkward if…” she trailed off when she noticed something wrong. “Wait. Since when does my shadow have… wings…”
A terrible realization came down upon her. Twilight gulped loudly as she slowly looked up, hoping that she was mistaken.
As if wanting to dash her hopes entirely, Rainbow, who hovered above her, grinned widely.
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*cough* *cough*
Great chapter! Still think that rainbow would've accepted the offer though....
Great chapter
that ending with Rainbow has me worried for Twilight.
pfft
Well now, that was unexpected. Hilarious and wow inducing shock, but still unexpected. LOVED IT!
Don't know if you'll ever make something of it it or not, but it was still great to read.
Perhaps they needed the push to see that they actually loved eachother. (Mat/Twi)
Well played, sir. Well played.
3591736
Well played indeed.
Something tells me Spike is going to be friend zoned soon.
(Dances the no Sparity happy dance.
) In all seriousness I hope the little guy ends up with somebody, maybe Nymph?
Herself maybe...but what about Rainbow Blitz?
And a very nice touch there with Trixie. I wonder how this will affect the others and their "plan"
i was actually expecting her to gve hm a far worse of a eatng ^_^
Edit: FimFiction apparently likes to change certain letters into code....
3591892
Why? there is a lot of tringles! why not make more?
I think I should just come to accept that every possible ship, minus sparity, will be shipped at one point or another in this story.
I thought she would, but hoped she didn't
awwww no rainbow on rainbow sex, booooo
This is by far one of the top five fanfics IMO on the site.
Loving the quick fire chapters, keep up the amazing work!
Good chapter, I hope Matt gets serious with some pony, whether its rainbow or twilight. Though in all honesty I had hopped it would of been rarity or fluttershy.
oh, thank GOODNESS! no selve-sex, pleeease
Dat author's note.
And poor Twi, looks like Trixie strikes again, even if unintentionally.
(Truth time rolls around some time in the future)
Matt: "I slaughtered thousands, many of them the people I was trusted to lead and protect.
I murdered my father in cold blood, and burned everything he built to ashes in a matter of days.
I disposed of my mentor, wiping out his 'Silver Hand' and with it the only hope that those within my grasp had of avoiding a fate worse than death.
I defiled the corpses of the dead, and raised them at my whim; to murder their loved ones and wage war on life itself.
I sat on a crown of ice at the top of the world, wore a helm that signified my domination over all beings living and dead, and wielded a runeblade of death; empowered by a hundred-thousand tortured, stolen souls.
And yet I felt no shame, no remorse, no pity..."
3593992 I have this feeling that Twilight would be a little more eloquent than that.
3594319
Probably, I meant it more as a joke than a serious statement.
Still, if she had that reaction I'd find it hilarious.
Chapter 114: With a special appearance by Twixie.
Rainbow you're a bitch
....
what makes it so funny is that Trixie did it without even a thought that, "Hey, what if she's not into mares or not ready for such a sudden action." Nope, just happier than Pinkie in a eternal party that was more epic than the most epic of parties possible and made everypony in the universe smile happily. Rainbow's gonna have fuuuuun with this one.
Really? After everything you've done in this story, this is a more believable thing than well, let me just quote:
...
...
...
...
...
...
How does this story get away without a sex tag?
Oh Azeroth and its naming practices
I would expect Spitfire to fuck herself before RD even thought of the possibility (Spitfire just strikes me as that kind of mare).
There were no survivors.
For that, you would require subversive movements via thought poisoning. I don't mean with magic or drugs. I'm talking about spreading agents to put whispers and rumors and wonders among the populous. Get them to ask themselves "why do I look down on mares?" "when has any of these beliefs been tested?" "why do I think an untrained mare's inability to perform a trade is a fair judgement when an untrained stallion would also be unable to do it?". Then, go from there and encourage it through subtle propaganda by having many agents posted near Saddle Arabian traders in Equestria start conversations amongst the nearby ponies about equality and rights and how primitive and barbaric those who do not practice it are. Also, spreading rumors about the fact that marginalizing women also cuts roughly fifty percent of your country's potential work force out entirely. Which is a stupid thing to do.
Let the mix simmer and add some dashes hear and there. Presto! One, over nine thousand foot stick removed from one country's ass.
It is rather odd but, for the most part, people don't really do gift-giving aside from a card or something equally easy to mail (like a giftcard or some money) if they don't actually attend a gathering for a birthday. Now that I think about it, that makes me feel like I've been a bad friend, even though everyone I know does the same as me.
4453465 That... is bloody brilliant.
No mister author, shame on you... ;(
This has to be rainbows face right here.
or this 
or this!!
4453465 You, sir, are A BLOODY GENIUS! At least you went with the smart route, though beating them up would be rather entertaining.
...i feel suitably shamed at the dirty thots of double rainbows intertwining
AAahhhhh... much better.
CORRECTION SELFCEST AVERTED. CARRY ON