As a writer, one usually has to deal with occasional writers block. A common way to help decrease writers block is to play out a story in ones mind, letting it go which ever way it wants to.
Often times, the writer can put themselves in the story as well.
But they must remember that their 'avatar' in the story is not invernerable.
Perfectly capable of being hurt.
Perfectly capable of being killed.
Now what would happen if a writer, who put themselves into a story in which they wanted to help defeat a 'sinister darkness' from doing harm to others, tries to save everyone without looking too suspisious themselves?
Let us find out.
Chapters (2)
There are a bit of unrelenting plot holes. Some side implications, and characterization issues. Not grand but noticeable. I like your idea. I like where this is headed, and I like your writing style. This just too short and too confusing. The name right off the bat is sue, even if you never intended for your alias to be such a way since you never state your name in your dream (storyception is confusing me). Plotholes come from not adding enough detail to understand the big picture. Characterization don't worry about it, Pinkie is too hard to capture, I prefer a calm and controlled pinkie any day.
It takes a whooping good story for me to track, so I will not be doing so for this one, but I will rate it 5 stars however, just because I like your idea
This was... different... Not in a bad way at all, but different. This style of writing is something I've never read before, not to say even thought about.
I like where this idea, of a character not "being" in the story, is going. I'll keep reading it to see where it goes.
I'll give it 4.5 stars just because I'm an arse
-Glassed
Self-referential? Fourth wall breaking?
I'm in.
(A bit surprised Pinkie is in the first chapter of such a fic and DOESN'T contribute to the reduction in wall count to three)
94539 Thanks for the info, I'll try to work on it. This chapter was just the proluge, I only wanted to explain a couple of things, and then set the scene a bit. Looking back, I probably could have added a bit more. The name...it came to me. I just decided to roll with it, though it sounded a bit 'sueish'. If you could be specific on any of the plotholes though, it would be great.
Constructive critisism is appreciated.
95264
Introductory chapter(apart from being short) is missing something very vital. That is, "What is the problem at hand."
This has an adventure tag. Which means this needs a problem at hand before you can solve it. I mean, the only exception in the genres is random and comedy. There are many methods of doing such in subtle manners. I know this isn't the first chapter, and it wouldn't be such a big deal but if you don't present whatever is at stake or whatever needs to be resolved then the prologue just turns into a useless jumble of words.
Explaining is alright fancy, but as I had mentioned above you need a drive or else it doesn't work. If this is a story within Mael's mind then its just as important to add a conflict no matter what kind of plot device you are using. I suggest adding a problem within the equestrian story that would also 'effect' Mael's human world. That would come for some interesting premises. That way, this explanation chapter actually comes in more use than anything else. Its not simply easy to add such a base to a story and not work upon it as you follow through the entire story the Equestrian side. A transition between the two could be very interesting indeed.
Your character right off the bat knows of these 'parallel universes' which is a little sue but thats fine, its acceptable as long as you introduce him to new challenges, new adventures and such. Maelstrom is also a viable name as long as you give him something related. He is a unicorn right? By the picture it seems that way, so let him use water magic as a maelstrom is a violent whirpool. Don't start him out strong, Maelstroms have never been known to cause a single sailor's death, so start him out weak with such magickz and then evolve him.
But I'm only explaining the bad things. Heck I love your writing style. Believe me, its better than most mediocre pieces of literature around this sight *wink* including my own! My story was much worse, but we can all improve so never give up with this story. You and this story have a great potential.
How long ago was this made?
When does the rest come out!!