Fire and Dice

Jinglemas646 stories ·485 members

When Rainbow learns of the annual gift exchange at the Wonderbolt Academy for Hearth’s Warming she thinks it will be a cinch to get the perfect gift for anypony she might get. But when she’s tasked with giving Spitfire the perfect gift, it doesn’t seem so simple anymore. Can Dash figure out what would make the best gift for the Captain of the Wonderbolts?

Written for Soaring for Jinglemas 2023

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Soaring

Soaring #1 · Dec 29th, 2023 · 2 · ·

I am so happy to see this fic finally out. Was wondering who got my prompt!

Love_Bite, this is an awesome fic. I love the use of situational comedy here and the O&O usage was a great touch. There's always something mysterious about Spitfire's character, and while she has a lot of her character already fleshed out, there's a lot you can still add as an author to her that makes her so enticing as an author to write. You handled her so well here. Also Rainbow Dash is great here too with her trepidation being a highlight here. You really know how to write Rainbow Dash too.

Going to point out some of my favorite parts, since the inner reviewer in me can't hold back (spoilered so other readers can enjoy the fic too like I did):

“Gift exchange?”

Sweaty blue suits flopped to the floor of the locker room as the Wonderbolt trainees changed out of their uniforms. Rainbow Dash tossed her flight goggles haphazardly into her locker, a puzzled look spread over her face.

“What’s that about?”

Fleetfoot answered, her head halfway obscured by a towel as she dried her mane of sweat and cloud vapor.

This is a textbook example on how to start a fic. The word choice here is fantastic.

“Yeah, that’s true. I still can’t get over Thunderlane’s obsession with the Power Ponies.”

“Kinda like your obsession with Daring Do?”

“…that’s different.”

This had me laughing so hard. Fleetfoot zingered Rainbow Dash right there.

Flipping the card over, she found a small image of a dazzling lick of flame with the name “Spitfire” written out in neat cursive underneath.

This line has to be my favorite one of the fic, and it's not even super crazy. The word choice "dazzling lick of flame" is like a word riff. I'm not even sure what time signature we're in! But seriously, well written lines like this don't go unnoticed. Props to you, author.

Spitfire looked like she was about to tell Rainbow to get her prismatic butt out of her office, but Dash cut her off before she had the chance.

You NAILED the comedy in this. I have to restate this since your message to me said you didn't know if you got the comedy down. Rainbow is so good here and I'm so glad you chose her as the limited narrator here.

"Are you coming onto me, Cadet?”

“What?! No, that’s not what I meant!”

Tears were shed, laughter was had, and Rainbow being questioned if she's gay for X character never gets old, especially when it's done like this.

“Sometimes it’s nice to just let fate take the lead.”

Eloquent yet so Spitfire. She's gotten to the point in her life where she's led the Wonderbolts comfortably, yet there's that other dimension, where she's not a leader, and that for her in this fic is O&O. While I haven't done much D&D myself, the passion for something else outside of your line of work is something of a need rather than a want. Glad that you highlighted this as a focal point here. Think it not only helped Rainbow get the gift that Spitfire wanted, but really getting the gift that she didn't expect that she needed.

Once again, super cool fic, Love_Bite. Simple, to the point, and it doesn't waste the reader's time. Thank you for this and I'll definitely read your other works (both future and current!).

Love_Bite