The rising metal band, Valediction, is on tour throughout Equestria! All was going smoothly until an unexpected incident at their performance in Manehattan injures a wyvern fan. Wracked with guilt and determined to make amends, the frontpony for the band, Killjoy, sets out to help her new friend Ash, along with the help of her bandmates, Blast and Rosella.
Having never befriended a non-pony before, Killjoy quickly discovers the stark differences between their cultures, and encounters many injustices the dragon often faces.
The odd pair encounter and overcome many obstacles throughout their blooming friendship, working together to give more non-pony artists a platform in hopes of building a stronger community, like how Princess Twilight intended.
Interesting. Not a genre of story I usually follow. Ash is overly apologetic and meek. Very unlike pretty much every dragon from FiM. Maybe that's a wyvern thing? Other than the accidents and rude ponies they have run into, this is a mellow slice of life.
A bit of a shame Velebeth is such a recluse. But unless others learn about her she falls into the same category as Zecora, but the zebra is much more well known.
Also no stimulants for Killjoy. She's way to reckless and accident prone.
11750117
heya! co-writer of the story here, owner of Ash
when you say "apologetic and meek", is that in a bad way? if so, any advice on what i could do to make that less so?
11750159
Well, most dragons in FiM are arrogant jocks. They are outgoing and egotistical. Ash just doesn't fit that. That's fine, but you might want to have a backstory or some in world reason why. I just recommend that he has less things to say sorry about or have Killjoy tell him that classic "stop saying sorry" line. I get that these two had a bad day, but good gracious did a lot of stuff go wrong in such a short time span.
I don't know these characters or how you want them to be, so I'm just tossing out blind advice.
11750170
thanks!
there's an interaction coming up later with a new character, maybe we could tweak it before release, perhaps ash is wanting to break certain dragon stereotypes that ponies have
But aren’t dragons and wyverns two completely different creatures? I know there are some similarities, but they really are quite different. Or are you just doing what the people who made the live-action adaptation of The Hobbit did and just make them the same thing?
11750230
Not sure tbh. The wiki only has one mention of wyverns and it was just an off hand comment. Nothing beyond that as far as I know. In this story it seems like wyverns are just dragons with wings for arms and not a separate species.
11750247
I think that wyverns in this story are just a subspecies of dragon
like how unicorn pegasy earth ponys and alicorns are all subspecies of pony
I love the story so far and i would like to see how Ash and Killjoy grow as friends
also i can relate with Killjoy i don't mine standing up for my friends but i need to be backed up to
Killjoy is my favored character so far and i wont to know more about her and her friends
This is really good so far! I can't wait to read the rest! I like the amount of small details you put about Ash and his species.
Fun little adventure so far!
There's some grammar and prose issues, but I like the characterization and story direction. I'm eager to see where the story goes next.
Isn't that just Ash speaking again? Probably should just consolidate that into one quote. And man, there is a lot of hate in this Equestria.
11757182
Oh yeah, missed that.
But yeah, I never liked the idea that everything was all fine and dandy in Equestria in terms of interspecies harmony, even after Twilight started having more species integrated. There's bound to be ponies that dislike other species, and ponies are already shown in several episodes to be imposing their values on other cultures.
It's not like institutionalised levels of hate, there's progress, but there's still a long way to go. Just look at our world, many countries like the USA and the UK are melting pots of various cultures, but yet hate still exists.
Golden Record is a real piece of shit. Sure, I'm glad Ash got a new job out of it, but cornering him, yelling in his face and hitting his cast? Garbage in the shape of a pony.
11784060
He's a bit of a hothead, sure, but deep down he only really has the band's best interests at heart. He really just doesn't like sudden changes to plans he's already made.
11784207
That doesn't at all excuse his words or actions. Add on that he didn't apologize and my opinion remains the same.
11784322
Understandable, but he won't always be like this. Yeah he's a jerk, but he's a caring jerk :>