A small group of bards; a pegasus named Killjoy Basso, and fraternal twins, Blast and Rosella Roth were summoned to embark on a journey to retrieve the necessary magic to resurrect a dear alchemist friend. Due to a tragic incident leaving her in an unconscious state, the three set off to various locations, learning more about the magic system of their world. They come across a countless new faces and meet some life-long friends who end up joining them to help. Through each encounter of foes and life-threatening fights, their bonds grow stronger and their knowledge on the religion they preach expand further, unveiling something unexpected.
Chapters (3)
Whoa...
I never expected you to come up with such powerful dramatic writing! I already love this unique worldbuilding you're doing. But I'm also really curious to see the comedic side to it as listed in the tags, as so far it's been fairly dark.
Don't forget to add the "Original Character" tag to the story, since you're using Velebeth, Killjoy and others from your original universe.
Imma wait and let this story cook, but I'm very interested in what you got.
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thankq sm! im still a little new to fimfiction so any advice is greatly appreciated! <3 and i can't wait to write more character interactions and explore the more comedic side!
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thankq sm! ill try and write some more soon!
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Since you're looking for advice, I can share a few tips.
You can use Tag Information to help you determine what genre tags will be most appropriate for your full story, so you don't have to switch them up as you write new chapters. I might recommend a swap to a T rating instead of E, as topics of necromancy and the like typically don't qualify as appropriate for all audiences.
If you haven't already, you can also add your story to group folders in groups related to your genres so that it shows up in the feed of anyone seeking new stories from those groups. That's something I'm not super familiar with yet, but it might help bring some extra eyes upon your writing.
Your title is beautiful, but I had to enter it into a translating software to discover what it meant. Keep in mind for any later stories that a title in languages not spoken by the general fan population might lead to less of them giving it a chance. So if the view count of this story is less than what you had originally hoped for, my guess is this would be the biggest reason. That said, I also hold a lot of respect for anyone forgoing popularity to write a story with greater merit, if that's something you feel happy and motivated to keep doing.
Lastly, while your prose is incredibly poetic, I may caution you into not leaning too heavily into flowery language that it hinders audience understanding. I'll admit I had to reread quite a few passages to get a complete mental picture of the scene.
I shared your story to a couple places and I'll definitely be reading chapters as you publish them. There's so much potential from this premise and setting; I'm excited!
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woah! sorry for only just seeing this, i was a little busy recently... but thankq sm for all the great advice! i'll defs tone down on the flowery descriptions cos it's smth that's hindered my writing in the past as well,, and i'd like to tell you, i uploaded a prologue explaining the magic system of this world and some important bits of lore! i'm working on the second chapter rn but honestly idk when it's gonna be ready to be published,, again, thankq sm for all the advice! big comments like yours always make my day!
Very well written! I'm excited to see how the two halves come together.
To be honest, I'm just following to see how many new cover art pieces this gets.
Still cool premise, though.
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crying real tears rn 😭
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Sorry for that, stink the story has good potential if the detailed description is anything to go by.