The Good Place

by emerald_shine

Chapter 2: Thousands of Bearimys

"Michael, I was promised-"

"I know what you were promised your honor but please, just hear me out."

"No. I don't think you understand. When Eleanor asked me to allow you a life in Equestria, she promised I would never see any of you ever again. And then I said, 'You guys are pretty annoying.' I know that last part has nothing to do with what is happening here, but it was pretty snappy at the time."

Michael huffed. He was attempting to make a deal with the judge of the universe. Needless to say, it wasn't going very smoothly. "Your honor, If you'll just listen, I just have a simple request."

"Fine. It's not like many ponies come through here anymore. Lay it on me."

"It's been thousands of Bearimys since my time in Equestria. I've come to find myself missing my friends. Sure, Janet still remains but she honestly has no choice. I have asked, and Janet feels the same way. Of course more about Jason than any of the other ponies. All I'm requesting is that you allow us to create copies of the originals and set things back to the way they were."

The judge held up a hoof. "So you want me to essentially reverse the course of your actions over LITERAL THOUSANDS OF BEARIMYS??? Do you even understand what you're suggesting? Not only are you suggesting that we disrupt the space time continuum, but you are also suggesting that we revert this almost flawless system back to the way Shawn had it before. Are you really going to look Shawn in the eye and tell him he was right?"

Michael growled a little at the mention of Shawn's name. Shawn was his former boss back when Michael was a bad place demon. He and Michael had developed a brand new method of psychological torture in which humans would torture each other without even realizing they're doing it. Eventually, Michael abandoned the plan and helped the four pony test subjects escape. Michael and his friends had traveled across different dimensions to attempt to prove that the point system was flawed and that they needed a new one.

Eventually, they had come to an agreement to fix the system. When they finally reached the real Good Place, they realized that it too, was flawed and they had to fix that as well. Finally, they created a gateway to a place where your entire being would dissolve into nothingness and you would finally leave the plane of existence.

The only one of his friends who hadn't gone through the gateway was a mare named Tahani Al Jamil. She had stayed behind and had become a Good Place architect. Sure, it was nice to visit her from time to time but he wanted all of his friends back. "I mean, the other option is you could just call my friends back and we could all live in the eternity of the Good Place forever!"

"Michael! I have no control over them. They have literally left the confines of this plane. There is no way for me to call them back!"

Michael sighed. "I know. I just miss them a lot."

The judge smiled. "Tell you what, and I'm not just saying this to get you away from me for as long as possible, I'll recreate your friends and we can revert the system. We can make a few changes that will make it possible for ponies to enter both the good and bad places. Finally, we will cancel the test methods and everypony will be judged based on they're score in life and only life. No more of this 'morality after death bullshirt.' Got it!"

Michael nodded. The judge continued, "We just have to get Shawn on board."

"Oh come on. He'll be overjoyed to torture ponies again and you know it."

The judge nodded. "All right, let's go."

The judge waved her hoof and smiled. She gestured towards a green door. "When you enter this door, the entirety of the universe's afterlife will have been shifted. I know you did this for your friends but I hope you know that I trust that you did the right thing Michael."

Michael nodded and happily ran through the green door.

* * *

"And that's why things are the way they are now, Flitter. You see, We have reverted everything back to the way it was. Except for the gateway in The Good Place. That's there for the better." Michael was showing Flitter around the neighborhood as he was explaining the story.

"Why's that?"

"When paradise goes on for eternity, it loses its special feeling. Ponies will begin to become mindless zombies. We changed a lot of things a few thousand bearimys ago. We just needed to find the right balance."

"So where is this magic gateway?"

"Oh come now, Flitter! Don't tell me you want to destroy yourself already! You haven't even done anything in this beautiful neighborhood yet!" Michael pointed to a building with a green door. "All you have to do is imagine a scenario, and step through that door and you can experience it! There are literally no limits!"

Flitter smiled. She knew this was exactly the thing she would need to devise her plan to break her sister out of The Bad Place. She had to save that until after the tour though. "What is that thing you keep saying? Bearimy's? What's that?"

"Oh! I'm glad you asked. It's a time measurement used by everypony in the afterlife. You see, the entirety of existence can be described by this." He waved a hoof and a big white screen popped up with a long squiggle. "This squiggle loops around infinitely. It just so happens to look like the words Jeremy Bearimy in cursive so that's what we call it."

Janet popped up and pointed to the bottom curve of the letter B. "That's my birthday!" She then disappeared.

Michael waved a hoof dismissively. "Ignore her. She always does that when we're explaining Jeremy Bearimy. Now, if you'll look over there, you'll see your house. We designed it based on what we believed would be your ideal house from your life."

Flitter nodded. "Thank you, Michael. But I think I'm actually going to head to the green door."

Michael nodded. "Of course. Everypony always does. But we have a party welcoming everypony to the new neighborhood tonight so make sure to be there!" He smiled and began walking back towards his office.

Flitter made her way back to the plaza. She could see tons of different shops and restaurants for miles. She couldn't remember which one was the green door so she decided to try something out. "Janet?" Suddenly Janet pops up right next to her.

"Yes, Flitter?"

"Can you point me towards the green door?"

Janet smiled. "Actually, any door can be the green door. Just imagine the scenario you want to and imagine the door you want to walk through is the green door and it will be."

"That's a lot of imagining."

"yes. It's very overwhelming at first."

"Thank you."

"No problem!" Janet disappeared. Flitter walked towards the nearest shop and began to imagine. I want a perfect recreation of the bad place and where my sister is being held. Flitter walked towards the door and opened it. When she opened it, she saw a bright green light. Flitter walked through the door and was immediately thrown back out.

"Ow! Motherforker! Janet?"

"Yes, Flitter?"

"Why did the door kick me out?"

Janet's face twisted a little in confusion. "I don't know. Where were you trying to go?"

Flitter stopped for a second. If she told Janet the truth, she would question why she wanted to see the Bad Place. "Um... A go-karting track filled with monkeys?"

Janet smiled and clapped her hands. "Oh! I don't know why you couldn't access the door! But please, come with me. There's somepony I want to introduce you to."

Flitter shrugged her shoulders and followed Janet. Soon, they reached yet another restaurant. "Stupid Nick's Wing Dump? Who in Equestria would ever eat in a trashy wing place like this?"

Janet laughed. "Only one pony!"

She walked over to the door and took out a key. "So what, Janet, you just have keys to everypony's house?"

"Nope! Just this one!" Flitter's head tilted in confusion. She walked closer to the door as Janet pushed it open. "Jason, Honey! I'm home!"

A shout of "Oh dip! Let's go!" came from upstairs as Flitter heard a small crash and a door opening. An earth pony soon came rolling down the stairs.

Janet gasped. "Jason, are you okay?"

"Yeah! This is The Good Place. I don't feel pain if I don't want to!" Janet nodded as Jason turned to look Flitter's direction. "Who's this?"

"Believe it or not, Jason, this is somepony who decided to do the exact same thing you dreamed about your entire life! I thought you two could get along!"

"Oh dip! That's what's up! Yo, I got a Madden game running upstairs if you wanna join. You play?"

Flitter shook her head. "No. But I'd be happy to learn!"

"Let's go! What's your name?"

Flitter smiled. "I'm Flitter."

"Nice to meet you Flitter! You know," He tapped her wings. "I never understood why some ponys get wings and horns and some don't. That's racist!"

Flitter turn back to Janet. "He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer is he?"

Janet laughed. "Oh no! He isn't even in the box. Trust me. But I love him anyway."

"Fantastic. The most relatable person to me in the afterlife is someone who's literally dating a robot!"

"Not a robot!"

"Whatever."

* * *

Flitter was enjoying playing Madden with Jason, but she needed a plan. There was no way she was going to be able to break her sister out of the Bad Place if she was stuck playing virtual football all day. She decided to start of a friendly conversation. "So why are you living in a wing restaurant."

Jason smiled. "There's no better place in all of Equestria."

Flitter shook her head. That couldn't be true. "Cool! Anyways, do you know anything about the Bad Place?"

"I mean, honestly, I don't really want to talk about it. That place was like, mad scary and I don't like remembering it."

"You've been to The Bad Place before?" Flitter was practically yelling in excitement.

Jason nodded. "Yeah. I was sent to the Bad Place until Michael saved the day and got me and my friends out. He's a pretty chill dude! Even though I blew up his friends."

"You what?"

"Glenn and Vicky. They were bad demons and so I blew them up. I wanted to blow up Shawn too but Michael wouldn't let me."

Flitter huffed. She was never going anywhere with this loser. "Okay. Do you know anypony who can help me learn about the Bad Place."

Jason nodded. "Here! Let me write down the address!"

He jumped up and went over to a notepad on the tv stand. He scribbled a few words and then handed the notepad to Flitter. "Go there. She'll tell you!"

Flitter nodded "Okay! Thank you Jason!" Flitter walked out of the hosue and sighed when she saw what was written on the paper.

Eleanor Shelstrop
Cute house that looks like a face.

What an address, Flitter thought. Now she just had to track down a single house in this ginormous neighborhood.

Don't worry Cloudchaser. I'm coming.

Comments

[Bronycommander]

this might get interesting. and no offense but Janet got me an earworm due to her name