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Pinkie Pie's Birthday

This is just a short story I wrote about Pinkie Pie's birthday, and Twilight Sparkle's quest to get her a present. This is my first submission on this website and I hope you enjoy it.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 1 )

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#1 · Dec 29th, 2011 · · ·

A bit rushed in my opinion. It was nice and the characterizations were good, but it seemed to be like pinkie pie: bouncing from one thing to the next without giving it a second thought. If some of the scenes were dragged out and the moods, actions, and reactions of the characters shifted a bit more slowly, I think you could achieve the maximum effective emotion. Other than that, it seemed like something out of a kid's show in a good way: sweet and innocent, if not a bit silly. I haven't looked up if you have done more stories other than this one and if the quality has improved since then if you have, but I thought I would give this one a comment anyway.