- Member Since 1st Jan, 2014
- offline last seen Yesterday
Badmiral Biscuit
Sometimes slice of life is saucy.
Badmiral Biscuit
Joined 1st Jan, 2014 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Chancegunnett · 4.9k words · 198 14 · 3.6k views
- Warhorse · 9.3k words · 260 66 · 2.2k views
- Uh-hmmm · 5.1k words · 266 10 · 3.7k views
- Merchant Mariner · 878k words · 105 15 · 2.7k views
- Admiral Biscuit · 9.5k words · 116 8 · 1.4k views
- Darkvisionary444 · 25k words · 61 3 · 1k views
- Dadecious · 66k words · 313 32 · 6.8k views
- DoomVroom · 13k words · 33 2 · 744 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.106 seconds
Total duration
900 users online
515,181 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
And awaaaaaay we go!
Who is Captain Courageous?
11695997
11695998
It's a reference to a coming-of-age novel by Rudyard Kipling, about a character who finds himself out his element [a rich boater who gets lost at sea and rescued by a fishing boat who isn't going to risk their catch taking some guy back to port], It's good reading
The return of Ivy! Hurray! n_n
Great chapter and I can't wait until more come out 😎
Yknow, something about this Badmiral Biscuit fellow seems familiar.
Well, this has promise.
… wait. She’s going to have him spend the whole weekend pouring a foundation, isn’t she?
11696023
Yes indeed! In case you didn't guess by context, it is a different 'I' in this story.
11696059
It'll be posted weekly (ish), don't know what day yet.
11696630
I don't know why you'd think that, he's got a bag over his
headear which is a good disguise, right?Right?
11697109
Are you suggesting that Ivy might have lured the narrator up to her cabin for the purpose of having him pour foundations?
You won't trick me into giving you spoilers, but I will say that she knows she can use her feminine wiles to get foundations poured.
11697758
Hahaha, you mean Ivy *doesn't* have amnesia and the farrier doesn't moonlight at home Depot? ;)
11698378
I suppose it's fairly obvious they're not the same person, but sometimes it does get confusing when there's an identical main character but told from the perspective of different first-person narrators.
Also other amusing facts: this is the third iteration of a home depot fic I wrote (the first was a HiE, and then I thought 'wouldn't it be better if . . .' and here we are now.
Operation Ivy was written after this was started, but before it was completed.
11699001
I don't think it hutrs to mention it anyway, just in case someone hadn't realized. If you hadn't read Operation Ivy for a while you might've forgotten the details.
And neat! Why did you publish Operation before this one?
11699017
Mostly 'cause I'd been watching YouTube videos of fixing/trimming cow hooves, and thought that writing a fic about that would be a fun idea. This one wasn't done yet, and I decided not to wait before publishing.
Over on my main on FimFic, there's a number of stories where a spinoff got published before the original fic (if the original fic ever got published), pretty much for the same reason. Like Spring Weather is a spinoff of an unfinished story on Offprint using a character from a then-unpublished chapter of Como Salsa Por Los Tacos.
11700185
*nodnods* Gotcha!
Is this one of your stories where you've mapped out all the roads and locations?
11705836
Not all of them, no. Once you get off the pavement, some of the roads are real and some of them aren't.
Just noticed a nice little bit of symmetry. 22 stories on this account and 220 stories on the main account.
11707528
Totally planned.
Nah, just kidding, it's a happy coincidence.
This story is definitely not my cuppa, but someone on Discord mentioned that it starts off with a Minotaur cow shopping for construction supplies in Home Depot, and fantasy slice of life scenes are like catnip to me so I had to create a picture of Ivy lugging around the bags of cement to the checkout line while on her phone.
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1142023419790106684/1154705989946327170/02131654592155c2c85fc8974de1bd148902f603a98b29fab2ba1f2eced5e280.png?ex=6515eb81&is=65149a01&hm=539ced588061b8ee58ceac3c35a459197716d7bc46761926992b9124f42f02dc&
(She is a highland cow and has freckles because those are adorable and I will fight and die on this hill)
11696630
I know, right? Pretty sure it is alt of someone I do not quite recall... Commodore Cookie I think?
11697109
* One wild, rumpus filled weekend later... *
I sat on a bar stool eating my tangy green sorrel malted milkshake and watching the machinist ponies work on the other side of the observation window. This was Shakes and Shapers, an honest-to-goodness combination of 1950's drugstore soda fountain and machining job shop. It sounded like such a bizarre setup that had no right existing, but Ivy assured me such things were very common back in Equestria.
It is true what they say: "Three things you can watch forever: fire burning, water falling, and another man working". While there was nothing on fire or flooding here, the large observation window between the two shops provided plenty of the last. The worker ponies (and gryphon) certainly did not mind all the attention and would occasionally smile and wave back to all us drugstore patrons watching them.
There was something hypnotising about watching the shapers on the production floor move back and forth, back and forth in unison. The hypnotic effect was further enhanced by all the intricate decorations on the machines. Equestrians had a very strong aesthetic sense and so every piece was damascened with intricate heart and flower motifs. They were shiny and gleaming and could have served as centrefold promotional material for any of their respective companies' marketing material. The effect was a bit diminished by all the large googly eyes they stuck on everything though.
Currently all the machinists were doing some sort of cheerfully happy song and dance routine carefully choreographed to the movement of the shapers. Let me tell you, you have never experienced a mental discombobulation stutter-step as when you hear a bulky stallion draft pony sing about "What my Cutie Mark is telling me!" in a deep basso profundo that would make James Earl Jones green with envy.
Speaking of green with envy, I certainly was a bit jealous of all the Equestrians and their cheerful, laid-back work environment. We never had fun spontaneous musical numbers to speak of at Home Depot... Though come to think of it Song of the Volga Boatmen would be rather apropos...
* ding-a-ling*
I was broken out of my reverie by the the entrance bell ringing as someone entered the drug store.
"Dude!"
I looked up. It was Jesse, one of my former coworkers at Home Depot.
He immediately spotted me by the window and walked up.
"Dude! Where did you disappear off to? Me and Ron were worried about you after he said he watched you leave with some minotaur cow lady."
I shrugged my shoulders. "It was no big deal. I was tired of working for Mark anyways."
"Dude! No big deal? Did you forget your Greek Mythology classes with Mrs Huddleson? Minotaurs eat people! And not the sexy fun kind of eat on SpankHubTube! The 'fava beans and a nice chianti' kind! What did yous guys do over the weekend?!"
I tried to wave him off. "This and that... Stuff."
" 'Stuff'? Dude, you do not up and quit your job and ride off with a USDA Prime A cow-mamma for 'stuff'!"
I saw that he would continue to pester me and not leave me in peace to watch the Shaper Ballet in contemplative peace. "Fine! Do you really want to know? We rutted! Hot, sticky, steamy, wild monkey sex all weekend long!
"We did things that would make your toes curl, things they do not have names for and would get you banned from 3 major religions and 6 minor ones. They will have to invent new similes for this level of exuberant rutting! We made rabbits look inadequate!
"It was so passionate the neighbours smoked a cigarette when we were done. We ploughed each other so vigorously, so thoroughly, I am surprised we can see straight, let alone walk! By the end she was mooing and calling me 'Daddy'!
"IT. WAS. AWESOME!"
"... Dude. Really?"
"Nah, I helped her pour a foundation and then we played Halo on her Xbox Classic."
"Bruh"
11707546
Following your account just because of this. I know talent when I see it
I thoroughly enjoy this dynamic. It reminds me, somehow, of Hemmingway.
11707546
I am immensely curious what Discord server this got mentioned on. Also kinda scared to find out, unless it was Estee's Terrors of the New Column, in which case I totally get it.
That's so amazing
Funnily enough, chapter 5 is titled Foundation, and if you guessed he's helping her pour a foundation, you'd be correct. Mostly digging the holes for the concrete, since Ivy figures there's less chance of him fucking up a hole than a batch of concrete.
Also because she knows damn well he's not going to last until noon if he's hauling all the bags of Quickrete and all the jugs of water to mix it with (her cabin doesn't have electricity or running water).
Also I've just got to say, I am one hundred percent onboard with the idea of Shakes and Shapers, and I think you should expand that into a full story for the Not-A-Contest because it's a totally nonsensical juxtaposition which makes it even more pony-like.
EDIT: also also also many apologies for taking three weeks to reply.
11722503
Hmm, that's an interesting comparison. I haven't read enough Hemmingway to know if's an appropriate one or not, but The Old Man and the Sea is kinda coming to mind. Maybe just 'cause it's the only Hemmingway story I can remember to any degree (and I'm probably remembering it wrong :P)
11730869
Hemmingway can be badly summarized as “nature and fucking”.
I don't know which way this story is going to end, but I sure do know which way I want it to.
Well that’s… sad.
I have to admit I started this by mistake. Your name is a very close approximation of some other Biscuit that I like to read.
You may have heard of him. He writes very interesting slice of life stories. This is similar and while I don't usually read stories such as this by the time I realized my mistake, it was too late, my slight OCD kicked in and it required me to finish. Yes I skimmed some parts, but over all it was very good. I enjoyed the hunting and post setting... since I've done that sort of thing. Seeing a "city boy" experiencing it for the first time was entertaining.
I can say I enjoyed it all except the epilogue. I was kind of a let down, but it lived up to the description of a life changing event in the protagonist's life. However, I think becoming a Park Ranger requires a college degree, but I may be mistaken. The fact he is applying emphasizes the profound effect the 3 night stand had on him. I won't remove this from my favorites due the ending. It reminds me of another ending of a weather pegasus going back home after spending time at college on Earth.
I am kinda baffled by the lack of comments on this particular story, however. There should have been many. I hope my short one kinda helps.
I've been reading this with my spare time at work. It's been an incredible read, yet i do feel solemn for how it ended. The protagonist felt so happy and thought they had their soul mate. Then waited and waited for the invite call to go back, yet it never came.
11768594
Hmm, nope, never heard of this Badmiral BIscuit character
I've never done post-setting or hunting, but I've been through the woods on deer trails a time or two (in fact, part of the deer hunting chapter was inspired by me doing just that while I was writing the story). It is an experience for those who aren't used to it, and that's a fact.
I do apologize for luring you in on . . . well, maybe not false pretenses, so to speak, but by the deliberate choice of having an identical avatar and very similar usernames between the regular account and the alt account. And no worries about skimming certain parts; it's very much a personal taste thing and tastes vary. I'll admit that when I watched the Equestria Girls movies, I skipped the songs 'cause I dislike musicals for reasons which are not particularly germane here.
I suppose if you skipped the spicy bits, it's more like Captains Courageous.
Sometimes life is like that. While I would also agree that the two of them being together forever would be the best ending, it's been my experience that real life doesn't always work like that.
Silver had a year and maybe that wasn't enough or maybe it was. She became one of Conrad's golden boats at the end, and maybe 'Cart Boy' did, too . . . I think he did, I think if there ever is a sequel he'll be a fully-fledged park ranger and loving every minute of it.
And you know what, part of the reason I'm here on FimFic is because of an unhappy ending and me making something of it.
That's the nature of having a fairly unknown alt account that posts sporadically; it doesn't get the following or interaction that the main account gets. Sometimes that's disappointing and other times it's understandable, I appreciate you taking the time to not only read thorough something that isn't really your thing as well as commenting
11764805
I don't think it's going to be the ending that you want, but that's how life is sometimes.
11766567
I suppose so, but maybe it's also an opportunity.
11768901
Thank you!
I don't know if either of them could actually be considered soulmates, honestly. Maybe it felt like it in the moment, but I don't think it was a thing that could have lasted, but I also think that doesn't make it worth any less. The protagonist learned something about himself, about what he wanted and what was important and sometimes that's what you need more than anything else.
Interesting ending. I see what you were going for. Sometimes it is about the experience, not the ending state. Had a few of those myself. Still good story.
11768977
It'll be what it is. I'm here for the journey, not necessarily the destination.
edit: After having read the ending, it works really well.
Oh, I enjoyed this so much, and yes, the ending was sad, but as you say
Admiral BiscuitBadmiral Biscuit, sometimes in life we have to deal with the unhappy endings, or at least, what seems to be an unhappy ending. For some people, the idea of a soul mate is silly. "You don't need someone else to make you happy," they say, and I usually respond "you don't need someone to make *you* happy, and that's good! But for some of us, life is devastatingly lonely, and we are out here seeking someone who wants to complement us, make us feel complete."For "cart boy," he found that in Ivy, but she's clearly more of a free spirit than he is, and while I'm sure she liked him, and enjoyed his company, for her it seems like life is a continuing series of adventures. She will meet someone else to make the weekend interesting, and move on, and move on, and move on, and good for her, but I do feel for cart boy. I really do.
Lovely story.
11817719
There's a country song I probably shouldn't quote due to site rules, but basically the singer thanks God for prayers which were not answered. I think that while cart boy didn't get the girlfriend he might have thought he wanted at the beginning of the story (he certainly got an . . . interesting weekend), he did learn something about himself in the process and perhaps is set on a new course in life.
Not that that makes it any easier in the moment; I think we all have those times where we've hoped for something that didn't come to pass, especially when it comes to romance. Or maybe I'm the only one
As an aside, if it weren't for a failed romance I wouldn't be writing on Fimfiction; whether that's a blessing or a curse (and for who) is for the jury to decide.
You're right that Ivy isn't the type to settle down; she does her thing and whatever comes of it is what comes with it. She's very independent and doesn't need a man (or a woman, if she also swings that way) to hold her down. Doesn't mind somebody coming along for the ride, but they better be willing to keep up and pull their weight.
That having been said, it's not impossible that Ivy would find cart boy again. After all, while it might not be right to call him a soul mate, he certainly proved that he was willing to work, that he was willing to try new things, and that he could please her. He thinks she lost his number, but maybe she didn't; maybe some weekend in the future she'll call him again to see if he's up for another trip up north.
And honestly, if he says that he'd love to but he can't take time off his new job as a park ranger, I think she'd respect that.
11818010
So maybe more bittersweet than sad. :)
Good Story!
Kind of gives me the same feel from when I had my out-of-civilization adventure, although far different than Michigan woods. Back in the Eighties, I spent several weekends with a friend up in the far-less traveled parts of Death Valley, the southern part where it was a valley surrounded with the peaks of the Panamints and absolutely NO humans anywhere for 100's of miles.
Ivy, however, is just a figment of imagination, although I would have had no problem hanging with her, even if just for the exoticness of her kind, Then again, I'd still feel some discomfort around her, being a minotaur and know how they can be,,,rough.