Mood Mane

by blobbo420

Author's Notes

Well my OC is a total failure. I was at least hoping for someone to say they like they idea of a mood ring sort of pony who's mane changes. If you are willing to read the next part which would be quiet sometime, I found a decent way to make you guys like the idea. But since it just hated now I may not even do it but won't really matter. I have no proof reader who is willing to help me so I did this pretty much on my own. If anyone wants to help edit please say so. If you don't like it then go read my other fic and you may as well like it. This was original intended to be read in google docs but I didn't feel like making a link to it. Try to say something positive in the comments. Well thanks for looking at it!

Comments

[blobbo420]

1349404 Yeah I understand and thanks for clarifying that stuff about mary sue. When I write the next story he won't and it will have a good explanation why but he isn't flawless. Think of it as like the first spiderman movie. He thought he was invincible and his uncle got shot. Just think it as that for now. but I do implore others to read my other fic which is much better.

[MidnightDancer]

1349362 If I could have found something good about your story, I would have pointed it out. As 1349404 said, I was merely giving constructive crit so that you could better understand what your readers are taking away from this and how to fix it.

I find it strange you don't bother responding to my actual crit, and instead throw a hissy fit and accuse me of not being able to make things (I'm both a writer and an artist, which makes that even funnier).

[blobbo420]

1349467 Yeah and I am sorry having a really bad with a bunch of hardships so yeah. That's just me fueling out my bad day on you

[MidnightDancer]

1349473 Still not cool.

As regards your author's note-there's a proofreading group that I see you're already a member of. I'd offer to help proofread and retool your OC into something likeable, but quite honestly I don't think you'd appreciate the help.

[Nightmare Chaser]

I'm confused but i still like it.

[blobbo420]

1349480 Well I am not the best for looking for help. I would love help as much as possible. I had a pretty bad past with proof readers(In other terms they start and won't finish). if you would still like to help then just reply if not no big deal.

[Aves Dominari]

I'm just so slow nowadays. I'll get notifications and BAM! People have already said what needs to be said. Makes me sad ;p

[blobbo420]

1349628 I agree happens to me now a days with my oc story only other one not so much.

[Aves Dominari]

1349636

No, I'm talking about the TWE guys. They arrive en masse and crush all bad fanfics beneath their iron-shod merciless hooves, and leave me out of the fun ;p

[blobbo420]

1349654 Dang well go ahead and say what you want to say don't matter to me right now.

[Aves Dominari]

1349663

Well, you're... dedicated. Looking at 13k words, I doubt there is a person alive who can't say that.

[blobbo420]

1349684 Lol my other one has over 50000 but it's much better and I am more proud of that than this.

[Evil Homer]

1349362
files.gamebanana.com/img/ico/sprays/whambulance.png
Seriously? You write a story with fucking Mary Sue OC then wonder why it is that people react negatively to it?
I'll admit, it's an interesting concept but you made him too powerful, too wonderful and that's simply not interesting to read about.

I admire your dedication. 13K words is not something you just churn out in a weekend, that probably took a couple months of work from idea to completion. But that doesn't make your story any good nor does it excuse people from commenting negatively on it.

And a tip for next time. Learn to write in the 3rd person. Writing in the 1st, especially with a Mary Sue OC will lead to a lot of downvotes as it's seen as self-insert wish fulfillment.

>Evil Homer - TWE's Tactical Tactless Nuke

[blobbo420]

1349862 First off I did not know wtf a mary sue character was. other than that thanks for the comment! I'll be sure to do so. and uh just to let you know there is no reason to take it to such a pointless level. Seriously cursing? whatever

[Evil Homer]

1350077
Yes, seriously cursing.
Author writes a Mary Sue fic that is not written for laughs and I curse.

[blobbo420]

1350208 funny you're so funny haha you should be a comedian you know that? Did you even bother to read my comment? I did not know what a Mary Sue was but since you obviously didn't read it I hope you look it back over. But I am still taking what you said. I appreciate the help but honestly The way you put it isn't the best way to do it.

[Evil Homer]

1350249
You're right, next time I'll really tear into the writer and give them a piece of my mind. Screw being nice, people want conflict.

And I read what you wrote but it didn't matter if you knew what a Mary Sue was or not, in fact if you had known what it was and wrote it anyway it would be even worse. Now you know what the character is and how readers feel about them and hopefully can use that knowledge not to write one again.

[blobbo420]

1350386 Yeah and hopefully my next story for my oc will fix that but i doubt people would read that after reading this. But yeah I do love comments though sometimes I don't take them well from time to time.

[Burraku_Pansa]

1349862 "Tactless". Spot on.

[Evil Homer]

1355732
You say that like it's a bad thing.

[blobbo420]

1358895 thanks for the nice comment! love getting those. I am going to fix it with another story. hopefully people would like to see someone attempt that at least.

[Brony_Fife]

A-yo, you gonna write dat next story yet o' what?

I wanna see you take the lessons I gave you to heart, man! Send me a PM if you've got something written down at least.

[blobbo420]

1711571 yes i will but i've been really busy