- Member Since 2nd May, 2022
- offline last seen 49 minutes ago
Mr Lore miser
Hello there ladies and gentlemen and creatures from beyond, i am lore mizer if you like lore, stories and fables then we would make good friends if you don't find me too much
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Screw that caribou. I hope the Royal Sisters sent him to the sun to get burned.
11669528
Well he didn't get sent to the Sun but he is practically a vegetable after Luna got done with him, but don't worry a caribou is going to get sent to the Sun and thank you for commenting on my story
You're welcome. Maybe he get turned into a cooked vegetable after being sent to the sun?
11669538
🤔 Well they are a lot of caribou corpses around, so I guess they could just burn them
looks good, i aqlways enjoy a good story of the caribou losing. you should add a bit to the emotions, like emotions or body language
11669551
Thanks for the tip but what do you think about the fight scene was it a bit too short
11669555
i cant complain, looked good to me but if i you need any other advise, i can try to help
11669559
That's all I ask thank you
11669562
okay then. eager to see the royal guards in action with the princesses
Well, this is a better take compared to the many rape porn storytelling of Fall of Equestria. Although you need an editor badly though. Over half the writing is almost unreadable and a lot of the grammar is all over the place.
Interesting take, but you need to spend some quality time fixing the writing, spelling errors, words capitalized for no reason, wrong words in places. It's as if some sort of speech to text was used with zero folllow-up.
Otherwise use a decent start.
11669992
Thanks for the advice and they will be a corrected version
friend, friend! I'm telling you now, you and I are going to get along very well.
I loved your soundtrack and the battle was good, you just need more gore for the cabiru to suffer, let the idiots burn slowly while we enjoy the view with some popcorn.
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You know when I had the idea to write about the Caribou genocide I had no idea on how many friends I would make but I'm glad to have as one
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And don't worry they will all burn in the next chapter
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🤝
(gives him a sinister look as he shakes his hand and the other returns it, both smile)
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🤝
This looks like you put it together with a Speech to Text device and didn't look over it before hitting publish.
I highly recommend combing over this and fixing the typos.
Beyond that, glorious start. Reminds me of one of my MLP40K fics. I used the caribou as redshirt civilization when the planet was being besieged by the Drukhari. It was fun.
11674261
Thanks for the advice and the praise
I think you did rather well. You could have discribed dane's change in detail.
And the guard was a good idea, giving them attention
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Thanks 😁 and also thanks for the advice and leave a thumbs up if you want
11817496
Youre welcome. I don’t want to Sound mean or anything but your punctionation is messed up in the second chapter
11817500
how dare you!! point out something I need to improve on, instead of stroking my ego how rude of you how mean of you
jokes aside thanks for putting that out
11817500
Oh and what do you think of my soundtrack selection this time
11817507
I think it fits. Heh, now i get a silly thought about the guards.
And I wonder, did they just took care of dann, or the nation itself?
Solid Redo of Healer reference. Tis an appropriate ending for King Dainn.
And I definitely like the lightning artillery. Not many authors utilize that.
11817509
We talk about magical ponies, there are no silly thoughts here.
And I will explain what happens to the nation in the remastered version
11817514
Well, i thought about the guards's thought during this, like one saying this is for his wife.
Oh? Looking forward to that, hope it wont take too long
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Thanks for noticing, that cursed manga had to be good for something right.
And I'm glad I'm glad you liked the the lightning artillery, I put it in for three reasons, one it is just an awesome concept, two it is practical, and three because I didn't see it anywhere that was a tragedy I wanted to fix.
11817518
Maybe I'll add that, however I will be working on a different story, so it might take a while to get back to this one, sorry
11817536
Sure, better late than never. I actually thought said guards could be distinct in apperence.
But who am i kidding, its your Story after all
11817511
Oh and what do you think of the underground ambush
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Yeah but don't worry, I'm definitely going to revisit this at some point
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Of course. Just thought those guards could be named and look different from the normal onces for better effect
11817542
Yeah that would have been better, I will fix it when I revisit this whenever that may be,🙃 hopefully the other story I'm working on will be enough to make you patient
11817546
Sure. Just thought...could give you a hand with names and such
Friend! I knew that you are still alive and apparently you still haven't lost your touch.
I loved it, very good soundtrack, I don't know how I was lucky enough to have the climax of the melody right at the moment when Celestia turns into a meteorite and when she destroys the doors.
Although I was surprised that the Cabiru had more than shacks with rotten wood and mud, knowing the inefficiency of their lifestyle, but if that were the case it wouldn't have been so much fun, would it?
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Yes I am alive sorry it took so long, this is my first story and I got nervous, and Yeah It wouldn't have been fun If the equestrians We're just attacking mud huts And I'm glad you enjoyed the soundtrack
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I utilized lightning artillery in one of my fics. The Grimdark 6 Volume Two:Broken Beast.
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Not bad at all. I can see RockHoof pulling that off.
Let's not forget he's the biggest jerk of all. Especially on his own does.
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Awesome can't wait to see it when I read it
11817654
I know right, I Really wanted to give Earth Pony Magic it's time to shine, Hopefully I did that
Every single one of those Caribou bastards deserve what karma is about to do to them. I’m surprised that Celestia didn’t straight up nuke the castle.
But I do have one question, is Shining Armor and Cadence ok?
11817999
Why wouldn't they, this is in the past that's why they mean six aren't involved did I not make that clear in the story
11818111
I didn’t know that the story took place in the past because the story did not specify when the story took place. I thought the it took place during the show, because the first chapter was set in the Crystal Empire. And a lot of stories like this takes place during the show so I assumed it would be the same for this one.
Thanks for letting me know.
11818144
Oh then it's my bad, I should have been more clear