This story is a sequel to Remembrance
Spike's time on the cruise home to Equestria was pleasant enough, with the reuniting of Rarity and some time to think. But now Spike is home, and there are plenty of problems he would rather not face. Namely, his feelings towards his sister Twilight Sparkle. Spike has not seen her in over five years, and he cannot tell if he would rather keep it that way. Can he really call her a friend again? Can he call anyone? Maybe his relationships were not as strong as he thought they were. Maybe, Spike is better off alone.
This is my own sequel to https://www.fimfiction.net/story/519921/remembrance which I wrote earlier this year. I based the original off of another similar story, but tried going deeper with it. I wanted to explore the aftermath of the journey Spike would take. The last story had one NSFW chapter at the end, but I don't intend for this to have any so it is more accessible to everyone. There will be hints towards it and romantic scenes, but nothing more. Hope you enjoy!
looking forward to more
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Glad you are! I hope not to disappoint!
I'm not by default a fan of this pairing, but you've managed to write a very sweet relationship between Spike and Rarity. I like especially the colors you use from Rarity's perspective--her misgivings about aging, and the way Spike makes her feel young again. I never feel like you are being careless in your characterization choices. Very good.
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I’m glad you’re feeling that way! I usually feel the same about rarity and spike stories, so I always wanted to write my own that had more “realism” to it. I’m sorry I haven’t pumped out as many chapters recently, but I’m stuck on where to go. But I’ll try to keep delivering to those expectations!
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I only hope that you continue to follow your muse, wherever it leads you.
What great tension you have here between Spike and Rarity. Rarity is the symbol of Spike's best memories of the past; without her, it seems, there might be no temptation to return to and reconcile with Equestria at all. And yet, he knows that the relationship is a chimera. Rarity, on the other hand, is approaching an age where accomplishments no longer comprise the drama of life. She is looking back, now--when she was dancing with Spike and in the previous chapter, and thinking that her "whole life" had been perfect.
I'm sad, too, that the honeymoon is over!
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I’m so glad you’re deep diving into analysis! And that you’re enjoying it. Thank you so much for your insights and comment. This story is definitely one I’m trying to put a lot of that kind of thought into, so I’m very happy it comes across. I’ll be bringing more updates soon :)
Me too, it was a nice escape from what reality is
So Rarity is Spike's emotional rock. She paints such a lovely figure here. Yet, we can see that PTSD and memories of the war are pushing Spike away from her, too. He actually lingers on how 'simple' it was--ah! Love it. And the scene with the glasses... It's probably good that you were writing with pneumonia, otherwise I might have melted from that.
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I’m glad you’re picking up on those! I’m trying my hardest to depict PTSD in an accurate way having had family deal with it. Not an easy topic to encapsulate. But it makes me so happy you’re enjoying the nuances! Promise I’ll have more chapters soon!
Hmm. So a pigeon-chested diplomat has taken Spike's old place. I can't tell yet whether he is sleazy or not.
I love how well you've captured Twilight's canon personality in this scene. I wasn't sure what to expect since most of what I know about her in this story is from Spike's bitter perspective. But her abiding geekiness adds an element of suspense to their encounter.
Hey--I thought you said there would be no NSFW chapters!
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Hmm indeed. It’s been difficult to figure what to do for this story, hitting quite the block, but definitely trying to maintain a real feel to these characters! And thank you, I definitely wanted this story to feel more than just a narrative, I want to make it alive. And there’s 2 sides to every story right?
Haha! Well I never said no borderline!
I have a Theory about this story and its prequel. Both are great, full of emotion, of drama, tragedy, but also hope.
The characters feel real, with their problems, insecurities and strengths.
You created an Epic and i think it was completely by accident. ^^
Why do i believe that?
Well, you stated you took inspiration from the story "A pleasant Cruise". So you set out to create a soft clop fic, but in the process started world building. And so the story grew past its humble beginnings to the deep story we have now.
What tipped me off was the rather abrupt ending to "Remembrance". It was like, all that buildup and then they had sex, the End...
My thought where: Nooo, it can't just end like this, i need to know more. So i was really happy to see the sequel.
Of course, i could be completely wrong with my assumption and talking out of my ass.
Now, you said you're a bit stuck on where to go. I have an idea on how to go on. To be fair, it's based on what i'd like to see, but we're all a bit biased.
I think you should move your focus away from Spikes and Raritys relationship. They're together now, that's great. But Spike has a whole lot of other things to deal with. His PTSD first and foremost. His deteriorated relationship with Twilight. His destroyed Wings. Rainbow Dashs reaction on seeing his Wings could probably fill half a chapter.
Big Macs and Discords reaction on getting to know the full extent of Spikes damage, both body and mind.
Spike set out as an idealistic boy and came back as a battlehardend, but also broken soldier. And now everyone will have to pick up the pieces.
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Honestly, you're like spot on lol. As for your suggestions, I actually have a few extra chapters unreleased that are focusing on things like those, because I do want to shift the attention away from their relationship. Primarily, the next chapter specifically deals with Spike, Discord, and Big Mac talking a lot and hearing his experiences in ways Rarity did not. Spike and Rarity live in bliss together, but that is not the real world. I am just really struggling to encapsulate the actual encounter between Twilight and Spike. I have a lot of scenes written post and prior to the event, and one in particular I love about what happens at the gala, but I am hitting a major road block when it comes to Twilight and Spike, who are the focus of this story. It is difficult because I do not see myself as writing their characters, more like I am just the person writing the words of their story that is telling itself. That makes it difficult when the story is not flowing through my head. You sir, are a wizard because you pretty much assumed the entire thing. I did originally just want to make a more fulfilling flushed out version of a cruise, but I felt unsatisfied and wanted to see where Spike would go after.
If you are interested in being a beta reader/editor, I would so greatly appreciate it! DM me for more~
Well, I'm here for more, whenever it's ready. I appreciate how your interpretations of the characters are both thoughtful and close to canon--that's a balance that can be difficult to manage, especially when you're treating subjects like war, sex, etc. The tone of Spike returning to Ponyville, as well as meeting several of the old cast members, is nuanced and bittersweet. I feel how uncomfortable he is in Carousel Boutique, and what a relief it is for him to be at Sweet Apple Acres.
Out of curiosity, do you write in drafts?
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I do! I write the entire story out usually and then edit a lot so that the flow all conjoins. My drafts change based on feedback and re reads