//------------------------------// // Past // Story: Presence // by Jamie Wolf //------------------------------// Spike entered the dark room completely alone. He had not had a moment to himself since reuniting with Rarity. It was a forgotten relic to be alone, and Spike was not sure if he enjoyed it. Millions of thoughts raced through his head faster than a Wonderbolt. Thoughts of Rarity danced around in combat with frustration at Twilight. Worry overtook his mind at the thought of the other girls. Anxiety surfaced when turning towards Discord and Big Mac. He had not seen any of them in so long, so how was he supposed to know their reactions? Would they see Spike for the monster he had become, or would they ignore it and leave him to himself. Spike set his jacket down on the bar stool and swerved into the mini fridge. He pulled open a bottle of the sugar brandy from Appleoosa and took a long drink. The harsh substance etched down his throat as he closed his eyes to envelope it. By the time he peeled the bottle from his lips, almost half of it was gone. “Idiot.” Spike said aloud. He frowned at the bottle and threw it back in the fridge, closing the door fairly hard in the process. Spike began thinking of Rarity. How nice had this cruise been with the time they had. And yet, it would all be coming to an end tomorrow. Spike worried it would mean the end of their relationship too. How was he to hold onto her the next time a war started across Equestria? He made his way to the foot of the large bed and sat down. He stared out at the busy deck where many passengers would be enjoying the last activities they could. Spike scowled as he watched creatures enjoy themselves. Why can’t I just let it go? He berated himself hard. Spike had yet to say ‘I love you’ to Rarity since the first night they were together. It was mostly out of fear that she would realize how stupid it sounded when they were no longer in the heat of the moment. His claws flexed. The sharp pricks of their tips dug into his scaled palm as he grinded his teeth. He did love Rarity, but how could she love him. All Spike saw in the mirror was a horrible creature who hated his own sister. Spike breathed out a puff of smoke from his nose as Twilight flared once more in his mind. I’ll be seeing her tomorrow he thought, or at least by this weekend. The train ride from the harbor into Canterlot was just over eight hours long. Plenty of time to think of all his mistakes and bitterness. Twilight had been so caring when he first left. But once word got back to her of the war, she changed. Twilight had felt more like ‘Twilight Sparkle; Ruler of Equestria’ instead of ‘Twilight Sparkle; Spike’s older sister’. Her support became alien, and every desperate plea Spike would send to her was met with formalities. Twilight had not spared a single soul to aid Spike in his struggle. Not one. He had left for a foreign land, and now Spike felt as though he were the foreigner coming to Equestria. President Fenris had shared what sympathies he could, even anger towards Twilight for the inability of further support. His consoling did little to ease Spike’s mind when he set out once more to fight the Doxxons. Spike had to force himself to forget about Twilight when he was fighting; there was no use in relying on her if she only made him angry and unfocused. Spike leaned his head into his palms as the familiar buzz of alcohol overtook his mind. It was probably not the best idea to be drinking, especially since the last time he was alone with alcohol was after Barlow’s gap. Images cropped up in his mind of his friends. He looked around to see the blood-stained dirt and mangled faces. Paws gripped at the roots littering the field. Spike felt his hands begin to shake as one of the trolls collapsed before him. He stared into the gray eyes of his soldier that gasped the last breath he could. As Spike reached towards the man, his claw rammed into a wall. He blinked to see his claw brushing against the massive window. The passengers were still partying below him; the moon was still hanging in the sky. Spike looked at his claw again to see it shaking. Too much liquor he reconciled. Spike shook his head and knocked on the side of his skull. “Time for bed, Spike.” He said aloud. His claw peeled off the glass as he turned towards the massive bed. The cushioned surface invited his aching frame after a night of debauchery. But he still needed to pack. Spike moved around the bed letting loose a groan. The only thing Spike wanted right now was to sleep. His suitcase had been in the small closet since boarding seven days ago. He turned the knob to pull out the browned leather roller. Spike grabbed his laundry from the bathroom and set to folding the torn rags. Many of his clothes that remained from his time in Norfandia had been torn apart by years of war. It made it easy to pack, but hurt Spike to know he had such little possessions. What sat before him now was only a small portion of what he brought with him, yet none of this current clothing was his originally. All of it had been taken from what he could out there. Only the small dirty cyan armband had survived. Barely. Spike pushed his memories away and folded the suitcase over. The harsh zippp sound it made caused him to wince. His buzz was not helping. The suitcase was placed at the door of the room so Spike could grab it quickly as he left tomorrow. He finally made his way over to the large bed for his last time. It gazed back at him with sorrowful countenance. This was the bed where Spike had rediscovered his love for Rarity; this was where he had finally taken a moment to breath. He did not feel ready to abandon the cushioned platform after years of dirt beds. Spike cursed himself for becoming emotional at a bed. What would his companions back home say? Except Spike was thinking of Norfandia, not Equestria. His companions back home were the trolls he had bled with, and the wolfmen he had held as they rested for the last time. Not a thought in Spike’s mind trained towards Equestria or his pony friends. He did not know if he should feel bad about that. A small part of him felt bitter towards the land he came from. None of his time in Equestria had prepared him for the horrors of the new land. Now Spike could hardly be alone without thinking of his home for the last half-decade. Spike turned himself in the sheets and looked to the side wall. His eyes squeezed shut as he tried to force exhaustion. Thoughts began penetrating his mind over the two worlds that had collided. He would be returning to one of them tomorrow after forever away. This cruise had been a sort of limbo for him. Removed completely from the world, free of care and worry, Spike had been able to indulge in lasciviousness for the week. But the present was catching up to him. Could Rarity really bear his troubles? Was there even a chance the two of them would last against the pulling of obligation and duty? Spike’s vision behind his eyelids went red from the pressure in his mind. He took a deep breath and remembered the exercises they had on the field. Deep breath in. Clear your mind. Lay still and think of nothing. Breath out. Hands by your side, knees relaxed. Let thoughts of nothing overtake your canvas that is the mind. The cloud of tire swept over his thoughts. Tomorrow will come whether I like it or not. Deal with what I can today, worry about tomorrow in a day. Spike’s mind folded into the wave of exhaustion. Rarity sat at the short wooden table in her room. She tossed a glass of red wine between her hooves as she fiddled with her thoughts. The suitcases of clothing lay strewn about her bed and floor. It looked as though a fashion hurricane had swept into the room. Rarity sighed and pushed back from the circular wood platform. She slipped her legs through the dress’s loops letting it fall to the floor. Pins began floating out from her held hair as she collected them in a casing. Her mane fell down across her shoulders, and the tension in her scalp released with it. A strand of light white hair caught her eye as it rolled across her face. Her eyes pitied the small hair. Such a shame. Rarity swept the piece back into her long trail of hair. Her hoof rested on her forehead and Rarity closed her eyes. Stress lines formed on her face while she breathed in a deep sigh. What am I to do? Tomorrow, Rarity would be returning to the line of duty in her business. A brand-new line needed to hit the displays within a week, or else she would suffer the results of laying on the back of the trend curve. Not only that, but Sweetie Bell had wanted her older sister to visit when she was finally back. Rarity most certainly wanted to see her friends if she could, and possibly stop into the old school of friendship. She had been wanting to see how the school was going under Starlight since leaving. Rarity lowered her hoof and made her way to the bed. Her magic began sorting through the piles of clothes, neatly folding, or placing them within linen wrap to maintain the material integrity. The room moved in a dance of color as the fabrics flew through the air. Yet it brought no sense of wonder to Rarity’s mind. Some of the clothes went by her eyes without so much as a notice from her attention. Her mind danced around with other thoughts and stress. A crisp rap on the door snapped her attention away from the empty suitcases. Rarity took a moment to tidy up the entry way and toss her dress into a case before answering. The door swung inward to reveal a coal-black mare with a tight blonde mane. “Fashion!” Rarity shouted in relief of seeing her friend. The two embraced tightly, relaxing into each other’s hooves. Fashion broke the hug after a few seconds to hold Rarity’s hoof in her own. “Rare, I’m sorry Consort and I ducked out without a proper goodbye. He and I just had some things to discuss and got lost in the moment.” “Oh, don’t worry. I was enjoying my own time with Spike.” Rarity stepped aside to offer room for Fashion to enter. The two of them sat at the table Rarity had been sitting at only moments ago. “Can I offer you anything? I still have a bottle of Pinot we can finish.” Rarity brought out the dark liquid with her magic from the case of gifts she had collected over the trip. “Sounds delightful my dear.” Fashion smiled at her friend. She crossed her hooves on the table as Rarity poured a full glass of the dark wine, as her own from earlier remained lonesome on the table. They began sipping in silence. It was a comfortable quiet; one Rarity had grown used to in the company of her trusted friend and mentor. Over the years, the pair had grown to just enjoy each other’s presence with or without conversation. But that was not why Fashion had stopped in tonight. Evident by her fidgeting and wayward glances at the small window across the room. “Fashion,” Rarity broke, “what is it?” The dark mare shot Rarity a glance full of concern. “That obvious, am I?” She ran a hoof across the rim of her glass. It gave a faint whoosh as the glass vibrated. “Please darling, you can tell me anything.” Rarity reached a hoof across to hold her friend’s fetlock. Fashion sighed and raised the glass in her own purple magic. She took a long sip before setting it down to look Rarity in the eyes. Her dazzling purple irises moistened as they met. “I’m a little frightened Rarity. Of retiring. Of growing old.” Her voice was bold, but laced with somber depth. Fashion was nearly a decade older than Rarity, and had worked in the business even longer than she had. Rarity’s ascent to head of Fashion Mare meant less responsibility for High Fashion herself, and more time to think about things such as the future. “Come now Fashion,” Rarity rubbed her friend’s leg. “You’re nearly a whole life older than me, yet you look half my age.” She smiled at the downward corners of Fashion’s mouth. “That changes nothing. I am getting old. And now I’ll have days just to… to I don’t know. Think? Watch life go by? Wish for things to be different?” Fashion sighed and took another drag from the glass. Rarity sat patiently for her friend to down the entire drink. “Fashion, just because this part of your life is closing its chapter does not mean your story is over.” Fashion’s glass plinked against the hardwood table as she finished it. “I just… there are so many things I wish I had done.” “Then do them!” Rarity exclaimed. Fashion raised her eyebrow to the snowy mare in skepticism. “I’m serious! Go out and live the life you had no time for. Visit relatives, friends, and places you’ve only dreamed of. What I wish I had done when time was in higher supply. I suspect this vacation shall be the last I have for a long time to come.” Rarity offered sympathetically. “I’m just… not good with not being busy. I always thought I would die in my office. I’ve worked since I was just a filly. The thought of having so much free time and money for whatever I want. Well, that scares me.” Fashion poured another short glass of wine. “I know what you mean, truly.” Rarity halted the glass before it reached the black unicorn’s lips. “But just because you don’t have to work does not mean you can’t. I could always use your mind to help me. After all, I’ll be running your business! It’s not like I have it all figured out.” That earned Rarity the smile she’d been waiting for. “I think I’d like that.” Fashion hummed. “Speaking of” Rarity stood abruptly. “I could actually use your help packing. I’m not sure you’ve noticed, but—” “But not a single item has been sorted?” Fashion giggled. “Yes, I think I can help with that.” The two mares began sifting through the piles of clothes and memorabilia picked up over the months. They swapped stories over the last few years of their lives with rambunctious laughing to compliment the noisy pair. After only an hour or so, Rarity’s room looked as it had the day they boarded. They sat in Rarity’s bed finishing the last of the wine. The cruise ship had gone to sleep by now, as most crew and passenger would be ready for the early debark. “Perhaps we ought to sleep.” Fashion said as she swallowed the last of her glass. She shook the bottle in her magic to show Rarity the lack of time they now had. “That may be wise, considering we have a train ride in a few hours.” Rarity giggled. They both sat, legs pulled up to their chest like school fillies. “Rarity?” “Yes?” “What are you going to do when you get back?” Fashion asked, pulling a pillow to her lap as she leaned forward. “What do you mean? I’ve got the entire line to design, friends to visit, and boutiques to check on. Yona has been running the Ponyville one by herself for nearly four years, and I should like to see how it is.” But Fashion’s mane was already swishing in disagreement. “What about you and Spike? You will be travelling; he will be travelling. The odds you two end up in the same city are slim. Do you think you’ll last?” She almost whispered the last part. Rarity’s grin dropped as she listened. “I—I hope so. I think so. Spike and I have our own sense of independence.” Rarity darted her eyes to the door quickly as she remembered their earlier conversation. Spike had shut down after her mention of Twilight. It had been a very unimpressive display on his end. But he did have many thoughts to sort and emotions to deal with just the same as Rarity. There should be no reason the two of them did not make it. “It’s just this cruise is so detached from reality. Things are easy here. What about out there?” Fashion swept a hoof over to the window for effect. “I know, but I think those thoughts are best left to when we return to reality. Tomorrow. "Rarity leaned forward for emphasis. “You can’t keep pushing problems to tomorrow Rare. You’ve got to live in the present, or else there won’t be a tomorrow to figure it out.” Fashion jabbed a hoof at the alabaster mare. “I’m not pushing it off, I’m just enjoying the moment for what it is.” Rarity defended. “Moments end darling. There’s always the morning after.” Fashion reminded. That had always been her friend’s guiding principal; to not make a decision that one would have to regret. It was why Fashion was still single and picky. But it worked. Rarity sighed and hung her head with a smile. “I know. But I really do think I need to sleep on this. Plus, you’ve got your own minotaur to worry about.” Rarity brushed her friend’s shoulder with her own. “Consort? Oh no, he’s a good friend and such a dear. He is genuinely interested in fashion! I told him he was welcome to shadow at some upcoming shows and try his hand at design. I’ll be doing my best to teach him what I know so he can open a boutique back in Norfandia!” Fashion beamed. “That’s wonderful!” Rarity smiled back. “See? Something to keep you busy! You two are always welcome at any of my stores as well for practice or material. I’d love to see his fresh mind take a stab at fashion!” Rarity pushed off her bed to walk her friend to the door. They embraced one more time before having to return to the harsh reality of work. “Sleep tightly my dear Rarity. You’ve been the best friend a mare could ask for.” “You too darling. I couldn’t do it without you.” They squeezed hard before breaking. Rarity waved off her friend one last time. Let us hope the dreams of this cruise last into tomorrow.