My Little Pony: Enemies are Magic (Season 1)

by Sunnysunny77

Enemies are Magic: Part 3

Author's Note:

Hey sorry for taking so long—
So uhh sorry I keep saying this, but this story is kinda meant to be edgy on purpose. So if any dark jokes that go a little off the handle are made in the story, please tell me so I can change it. I do not wish to upset anyone.

Below the blazing sky of red stood the one and only Sour Pear Acres, which in all honesty, looked less like a farm and more like a house from a Tim Burton movie except without all the black. Some trees were straight up dead, and some were standing with some dark looking pears hanging off of the leaves.

The path that led towards the farm was supposed to be sand, but for some reason it oddly felt like gravel. Seriously. It looked like sand yet it felt like how it feels when you step on a lego. And due to this, Twilight was seriously biting back the urge to scream.

As she continued walking foward, Spike kept reading off of the letter Celestia had sent only 30 minutes ago. "Sour Pear Acres..." Spike looked up, and looked as if he were surprised for a quick moment. "Oh— we're finally here?"

"Yes, now you can stop having to read off of that letter and looking up in hopes of it being there. You think the letter can teleport us or something?" Twilight rolled her eyes, looking around the dark and dirty fields of what was supposed to be a farm.

"Well.. thats what it did last time." Spike replied, holding up a hand— or what would be his hand if he were even human. "Yeah, but the Princess seriously messed up whatever she was trying to send me in that letter, so I think it doesn't count." Twilight said, holding her head up high.

"Oh.. well oka—"

"YAHOO! I— I MEAN, YEEHAW!"

Twilight and Spike both became seriously confused by the sudden southern war cry that just erupted from somewhere, and looked around in search of the source of the noise they just heard. Only then did they realize whom had made that sound.

It was an earth pony, a mare. She had dirty blonde, messy hair that was tied loosely back into a ponytail. Her eyes were a dark green color, almost like the blades of grass from below. Her coat appeared to be orange, but looked more brown for whatever reason.

The mare raced across the field, and before Spike and Twilight even knew it, she promptly then proceeded to crash into an almost dead looking tree— and then proceeding to fall onto her back afterwards. Twilight raised her eyebrow, confused at what the hell was even happening, before walking to the mare whom she presumed to be Applejack. The name was odd though, considering this was a Pear farm.

"Uhh.. hello?" Twilight softly greeted, or as 'softly' as she could. The mare then randomly jumped up within 0.2 seconds, and flopped about as if she were a ragdoll. The mare then stood up, and even though she literally fell a few seconds ago, she grinned widely and began to rapidly talk.

"Howdy, howdy! My names Applejack! I say, you look like someponys grandpa just died, are you doing okay?" Said 'Applejack', aggressively shaking Twilight by her 'shoulders'. From the sheer force, Spike was nearly about to fall off of Twilights back.

"Well if you continue with this, my shoulders won't be okay—" Said Twilight, her voice shaking from the mere force. Applejack then quickly retracted her hooves from Twilights shoulders, "Wooah, your so mean and scary looking! But that's okay, all people look mean and scary when they come here! Especially my little sisters friends!"

"I can see why they do—" "But anyway, you came here for the pears right? I can't think of any other reason that somepony would come here! Other than to ransack my house of course." Applejack proudly stated, somehow still grinning even when saying that.

"Well, I guess me and those ponies have one thing in common.." Twilight commented, looking down at the fields.

Applejack then proceeded to gasp, but not at Twilights statement. "I should introduce you two to my family! It would be great at setting the mood."

"Well as long as i don't have to stay too long— I'm probably going to go insane if ponies keep talking to me by the time this is over.."

"Oh, dont worry! You'll absolutely love my family! They're the brightest ponies alive!" Beamed Applejack.

"Oh, are they?" Sarcastically said Twilight.

"Yep, and I'll prove it to you right now!" Applejack then proceeded to race over to a worn down bell, the bell looked as if it were going to shatter to pieces any moment now. Applejack inhaled.. and then proceeded to violently beat it with her hooves. Twilight and Spike took a few steps back in shock, both a bit concerned with.. whatever was happening.

"Hey— urgh— everypony! I brought some new friends! You know what that means!" Applejack exclaimed, beads of sweat dripping from her cheek and down under her jawline. Within only 30 seconds, the doors to the barn opened, revealing.. awfully depressed looking ponies. Most were murmuring, or groaning. "Not again.." SOME whispered.

As the ponies slowly scattered to some different parts, Applejack trotted over to both Twilight and Spike, and quickly brought over Twilight to a dirty and oddly fragile looking table. As Applejack sat down, so did Twilight, still having Spike on her back. She couldn't help but notice that the seats at the table felt as if they were going to fall as soon as Applejack sat down.

"Now, let me introduce you to the Apple family!" Exclaimed Applejack proudly, holding her hoof at the family members who had gathered around with plates of.. rather lazy looking food, but oh well—

"Arent... isn't this a Pear far—"

"This here's Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala, Madonna—"

"Wait, wha—"

Twilights question was ignored, as Applejack kept going on with the list of names. As plates piled up on the table cloth, Twilight noticed that they were all literally just pears. Nothing pear-related, just actual literal pears. She hadn't seen this much bad dining since Amy's Baking Company.

Applejack then proceeded to punch Twilight in the mouth for no reason as she gasped.

"Big Macintosh—" —Big Macintosh looked as if he were about to explode with happiness, saying all kinds of incoherent words— "Applebloom—" —Applebloom looked as if she were going to blow up in someponys face any second now— "Aaaaaand! Granny Smith! Come here, Granny Smith, we have guests!"

Granny Smith said nothing, and only grunted as she slowly slided off of her rocking chair. Her old bones cracked, and with each step she took, she grunted even more. "Urgh—" —She took another step— "Urgh—" —Another step— "Ugh, ow— my back.."

Applejack then looked at Twilight, "I'd say, your already our greatest friend! Granny Smith thinks so too!" Applejack looked back at the still walking Granny Smith.

"Ugh—" —Another step— "Urgh—" —Another step— "Damnit, my back.."

"Well.." Twilight trailed off, getting up from the seat she had sat on. "Now that I know that the festival is going to have nothing but pears on the table, I should probably be going now. By the time the festivals already started, your Granny will probably finally be at the table."

Applejack looked around nervously, "Uhh— uhhh—"

"Quick, Applebloom!" Applejack whispered to her little sister. Applebloom only sighed, and then her eyes turned into that of an anime girl's. "Cliche guilt trip line for cartoons?" Applejack said in a whiney, whimpering voice. Twilight only blankly stared, and just said; "Those dont work on me, now I'm leaving."

"Finally, thank Celestia.." "Now we can go back to the barn.." The crowd of family members murmured all together, some smiling and some only sighing out of relief. Twilight furrowed her eyebrows, looking almost furious.

"Or I'll stay here just to spite you all." Twilight bowed her head. The crowd of family members groaned collectively, except for Applejack. Applejack only cheered and held Twilight close. Twilight softly pushed Applejack off of her. She knew just by the way this mare behaved that she was going to regret deciding to stay.

But if she got this done, then Applejack wouldn't talk to her again..

Right?

Comments

[Solar Rocker]

I’m pretty sure use of profanity should make it be rated teen.

[Sunnysunny77]

11439432
Hmmm, alright. I'll change the rating then.