98.7 'Unthinkable'
Prey was dead.
. . .
It felt unfair to him. He had tried to be a better person. Tried to be loyal. Tried to be a good friend. But in the end Harmony had decided to doom him through Strange Happenstance and his special talent.
. . .
Now that he was dead Prey would have nothing but regrets for the rest of eternity.
. . .
He would never get to eat sweets again. Never see any of his friends again. Never save Gloom. Never have the chance to. . .do anything with Crimson again.
. . .
Strange Happenstance had won. Prey had been caught and now he was dead.
. . .
. . . Or at least that’s what he had to assume. He had died and this was a personal hell. Trapped in the Sun Wolf’s den.
---[][][]---
Prey was paralyzed, frozen stiff with fear and unable to stop Celestia from holding him with her filthy hooves while speaking at him in a low and chillingly calm tone…but her words were far from comforting.
”I’ve got you. It’s all over now,” she spoke. As she looked down at him her eyes even showed hints of pity for the distress she was witnessing. But Prey knew there would be no mercy.
‘This is hell,’ Prey thought.
Prey had to concentrate in order to ignore what was happening and remember how this had happened.
After the trial princes Luna had had him follow her to an unfamiliar portion of the palace before letting him go. While trying to make his way back to the Night Guard section he ran into Strange Happenstance. Strange had kept Prey occupied until Celestia wandered into the hall. When she saw Prey she teleported him and herself away to her den. Then she started asking questions. “What happened? What do you remember? How many were there? Did you see their faces?” Prey didn't dare to move. He could scarcely breathe, let alone speak, he was so scared. She didn’t wait long for an answer before she said ‘it can wait,’ and charged her horn. Prey braced himself for pain. Instead, she removed all of the splinters and bits of wood from Prey’s wool before he could let out a yelp in panic. Next, she put him in a bath, her personal bath. Prey expected Celestia to try and drown him but instead she began to gently wash his wool. The water was warm but his skin felt cold and numb. After she had cleaned and dried him, she cradled Prey and continued speaking to him.
That, to Preys great distress, was where he found himself at this moment. Being coddled by his immortal foe.
“Whatever happened everything will be ok,” Celestia spoke.
’Should I try to destroy her mind?’ Prey thought, ‘No, she might resist it and kill me. And even if it did work I wouldn’t survive because every pony alive would hunt for me until the end of time.’
‘My ribbon?’ When Prey didn’t feel the ribbon on his ear he wished it was because his body was still numb. ‘Zoma'Grika It must have resisted the teleport and I can’t count on it finding me here. I have to stay calm and look for an opportunity to escape.’
Eventually Celestia said something that got Prey’s attention. “I promise you’re not in trouble, just tell me what happened and I’ll take care of it.”
‘Not in trouble!? Not in trouble she says, then why. . .’
“Why am I here?” he asked out loud.
“Because you looked like you needed help,” Celestia said.
“But why would you help me?”
“I saw a hurt and scared foal in need. What kind of pony would I be if I didn’t rush to help?”
Prey mind began to race. ’Celestia doesn’t recognize me? Of course not! Why would she bother to know the faces of criminals that are supposed to have been imprisoned for life decades ago? She just assumed I was a lost child. But what if she knew my name? Lots of ponies have asked about it but she might recognize where it came from. And if she even slightly suspects me. . .’
’I have to play along or I’m dead,’ he thought.
”Now can you tell me what happened?” Celestia asked.
’Focus,’ Prey thought, ‘I am a dumb lost child who was in the palace then got covered in splinters and dirt.’
”I was climbing a tree in the royal gardens when a branch broke and I fell into a thorn bush.”
“Oh my. Is that the truth?” Celestia asked.
”Yes your majesty. I would never lie to you,” he responded.
Celestia’s warm smile ever so slightly falters.
Prey felt as though he were standing on ice as thin as a hair.
Celestia puts Prey down in a sitting position in front of her. Before he can even think to move she uses her wings to hold him close with his back against her.
It felt warm and soft like a blanket but Prey knew that wing muscles were usually much stronger than they looked. If a trained pegasus like Crimson could use his wings to deliver a knockout blow with one strike an alicorns wings could probably crush him with ease.
Celestia spoke, “how about we discus other things for a moment. Tell me about yourself.”
”Yes your majesty.”
”What’s your name?”
“Mutton.”
“Are you quite positive?”
“Yes.”
”Where are you from?”
”Straperdale.” The only Frontier town that Prey knew was still populated.
”Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
”Straperdale hmm? I hope it’s nice this time of year.”
’Does she know? Is she just toying with me?’ Prey thought as Celestia continued.
”How old are you?”
“14.”
Celestia glances down at him. “Are you sure that’s. . .” she notices the golden bands on Prey’s forelegs, “Hmm. I’m surprised your parents would give you jewelry like this. It reminds me of something but I can’t put my hoof on it . . .”
Prey could barely stop himself from shaking. ’She’s about to catch me I need to change the subject fast.’
”How old are you!?” Prey almost shouts, hoping she would interpret his panic as childish impatience.
Prey successfully shifts Celestia’s attention but a concerned look comes over her face. “I can tell you are nervous about something young foal. So let me make you a promise. Whoever or whatever you are afraid of right now, I promise I won’t let you be hurt. Will you please trust me now?”
’Trust you?’ he thought, ‘The one who sent captain Fire Strike to the frontier? Never!’
”I’ve always trusted you,” Prey lied, “I’m really sorry I got hurt and made you worry.”
”Well…if you’re sure, I suppose I may have over reacted a bit. Just try to be more careful next time please.”
Prey gave her his most convincing smile; he was almost home free now. ”Of course, your majesty!”
A thoughtful look comes over Celestia’s face. “One last question.”
”You said you were from Straperdale. That’s in the Frontier region, over the Ridgeback mountains. Have you ever been threatened for as long as you’ve lived there?”
”No one bullies me.”
”That’s good, but what I meant was if the Border Guard are keeping your town safe.”
’That would have required them to care in the slightest about nonponies safety. But I need to be careful how I answer this so she won’t ask for details,’ Prey thought.
”They’re your guards your majesty, why wouldn’t they be?”
”You don’t understand, I only control the Royal and the Solar Guard. The lands over the Ridgebacks and its guard forces are overseen by the noble House of Fell.”
This was new to Prey. Green Fields had been the land lord of Rushweed but Prey hadn’t realized there was another level of neglectful authority involved. ‘And of course it’s the Fell’s, the very same ponies who tried to help Strange Happenstance rig my trial. I shouldn’t be surprised she has a layer of deniability between herself and anything that happens out there. But why is she…’
”Why are you asking me?” Prey didn’t know what Celestia was keeping him here for. ‘Perhaps she’s just doing all of this as public relations stunt. ‘Princes helps helpless child’ or something to that effect.’
A mournful look came over Celestia’s face. ”Recent as well as past events have made me concerned about the safety of those living on the Frontier.”
’Concerned about your image as a saint I bet,’ Prey thought.
”What happened princess?” he asked, feigning ignorance.
”I’d rather not speak of what happened recently, but many years before you were born the Fell’s and their Border Guard had to deal with a large band of particularly stubborn bandits wreaking havoc in the region. It got to the point that all of the local villages had to be evacuated.“
Prey was starting to become agitated at this. ’Told to evacuate, but that doesn’t mean we actually could. Does she actually expect anyone from the Frontier to believe this. What is the point of her telling me this lie?’
Celestia continued, “They sent one of their advisers from here in Canterlot to be the new Border Guard captain and get things under control.”
Prey’s eyes narrowed unseen by Celestia. ’Perhaps Fire Strike was just some loyal employee of theirs and not a Royal Guard but that doesn’t mean you didn’t know what he was up to.’
”One day a wild fire broke out and many towns were destroyed before the Border Guard could get control of it. They told me that most of the bandits had perished in the fire so I decreed that any that remained had to be found and captured for their own safety.”
’But that would mean…’ thought Prey, ‘No, this is too convenient, her just telling me all of this now.’
”Many of their guards were lost dealing with the wildlife that had been stirred up by the wild fire and the fighting. I offered to send help but they assured me they could handle it.”
”When the last bandit was captured, they said he pled guilty and wanted to atone in prison. I am certain he was safer wherever he was sent than he was in that forest. Even if they were criminals no one deserves to parish in a fire,” Celestia finished.
Prey didn’t believe any of it. ’No, you’re my enemy! There’s no way you didn’t know what was going on. You’re an all-powerful alicorn, an ageless being with countless lifetimes worth of wisdom and experience. You can’t just pawn off responsibility onto your underlings. Fire Strike was there to enforce your will!. . .that’s what they said . . .but the Border Guard are all liars.’
Celestia spoke, ”Do you understand now? I don’t want anyone to get hurt, I just want to make sure my citizens are safe, even criminals. That is why I want to know if the Fell’s and the Border Guard are doing enough to keep you and your home safe.”
Celestia knew, she had to know! She had to, it was unthinkable that she wouldn't.
But she didn't.
Prey didn’t want to believe it, but the pieces started falling into place.
The Fell’s had been brazen enough as to go through with his rigged trial under Luna’s nose, then right in front of her face when she showed up. If they were brave enough to try to secretly defy Luna, why not Celestia to? House Fell has clearly been lying to her for decades, perhaps even longer.
’Bandits, beasts, and fires.’ An insane lie compared to what actually occurred. But one that ponies could believe. Because why would anyone rebel against their benevolent pony rulers.
There were dozens of families in what could be called the Fells inner circle all of whom were utterly loyal to House Fell, whose families had grown up in service to House Fell and who would die in service to House Fell. And after the trial it was clear they were willing to subvert the princess, and would have gotten away with it this time if Crimson hadn’t told Luna about it. In the Frontier the Fells controlled the landlords, the Border Guard, the rail lines, all of it. Along with more money than they could ever spend. With that much power and the nearly impassable Ridgebacks it wouldn’t have been imposable to cover up the war, especially when ponies hardly cared about the Frontier in the first place. And since they said Celestia sent Fire Strike no one who survived would dare to speak out against her hoof picked enforcer. Nopony was ever going to bother checking, and anyone who lived in the Frontier knew that.
To the Fells the people of the frontier weren’t citizens, they were serfs, peasants tied to the land. Theirs to make a profit from, and disposable when they couldn’t. They oppressed the Frontier. They abandoned Rushweed. They rigged his trial. The Fell’s were responsible for all of it.
In an instant Prey’s whole world had shifted. If not for the wings wrapped around him he may have fallen over. Not only was Celestia not responsible for what had happened but she had saved his life by not giving the Fell’s any way to have him killed at the time without risking her becoming suspicious.
Prey was forced to reconcile that Celestia was not the callous mastermind he thought she was.
She never knew that Fire Strike had run wild. Of the night-time raids of homes and the arrests he'd ordered. Of how those arrested villagers never returned. Of the martial law he'd enforced, of the war he'd enflamed. Never knew about the firestorm he'd unleashed on the Resistance on the hill. Or that he'd been a filthy mind leech just like Prey. Or that he'd abandoned Rushweed in the end to the tender mercies of the Resistance.
He was just a loyal thug of the House of Fell.
In spite of himself old embers came alight and a seething rage began to boil within Prey. ’Celestia isn’t my real enemy, it’s the Fell’s, and they are mortal.’
For a moment it dawned on Prey that this was the best opportunity for justice.
Here he was, with a chance to expose the Fell’s for their part in all that had been done. To the Frontier and its people. To Gossamer’s mother and brother. For giving the Resistance an excuse to even exist. All of it straight to the highest power in the land without any filter.
An opportunity he would never take. Justice wouldn’t fix any of it, it would only put him at risk.
Even if he told the truth the Fell’s wouldn’t really suffer for what had been done. A few might be imprisoned and fines may be issued but most of them would worm their way out of any consequences, and that would be called justice. That wasn’t good enough for Prey. They had stolen everything from him in the past and were trying too again now. They needed to be brought low. The Fell’s had much to lose and plenty to answer for.
But first he had to escape his current predicament.
Celestia was still waiting for an answer. She never ran out of her seemingly infinite patience, obvious to his inner turmoil.
Prey’s mind raced to come up with a new lie to tell Celestia
But suddenly. “Baaawk.”
Prey hears a scream and feels a rush of air. He jerks his head around to see a chicken, startled by the scream and flailing around the room. ‘Where did she go?!’ Prey panics and whips his head back around to look up above him.
What Prey saw left him stunned beyond words. Princes Celestia, an immortal alicorn ruler with power akin to gods, was clinging to the celling with all the grace of a cat.
‘If this is hell it’s a hell created by Discord,’ was all Prey could think.
“C-catch it.” Celestia’s wavering voice stammers, eyes following the floundering fowl.
“Wa-what?” Prey asked to no one in particular.
“Catch it please!” Celestia reiterates, trying to keep her voice under control.
Prey was hungry, dehydrated, physically and emotionally exhausted. He couldn’t comprehend what was happening, the only thing he could was comply.
He recalled a memory of Gossamer living on the frontier. Before the war a few earth pones lived in the village. One of them kept a peep of chickens which would occasionally escape their pen when the old fence broke. Whenever that happened Gossamer’s mother would volunteer herself and her sons to help catch them. They asked their mother why and she told them, “It’s the neighborly thing to do.” When the war escalated the earth pony packed up everything and left, never having tried to return the kindness.
Prey deftly grabbed the panicking bird, held it until calmed down, then placed it on his back with practiced motions.
“Good,” Celestia said still hanging from the ceiling. “Can you find where it came from and return it,” she said while trying to give Prey a brave smile.
“I can go?” Prey asked.
“Yes!” Celestia shouted before a look of concern somewhat tempered the fear on her face. “But please find a guard to help you find your parents and tell them about how you were hurt!”
Prey moved as fast as he could without dropping the chicken, rushing past the surprised door guards and down the hall before anyone could stop him.
------<<<O>>>------
Prey rushed aimlessly away from Celestia’s room while he recovered from the baffling experience.
His mind raced faster than his hooves. The revelations that Prey had experienced shifted his entire perspective. Now possibilities he’d never considered before were glaringly obvious.
Ponies often spoke of Celestia as if she were a god and Prey had simply accepted it as fact. A god who saw mortals as earth ponies saw crops. Something that should grow and flourish according to her whim while anything else would be crushed back into the dirt.
’But she was just another inept cog in the machine,’ Prey thought, ‘never suspecting what horrific things might be happening out of sight, or where the fat that greases the gears comes from.’
Prey may have continued wandering but a soft clucking reminded him of the bird on his back and a question to be answered.
The kitchen was the obvious place to check. Prey found out that it had escaped from the palace kitchens and managed to leap through a window and flutter down to Celestia’s balcony while trying to evade capture. He also learned that it was too used to feed visiting dignitaries from Caninia. Prey momentarily considered setting it free but decided not to risk the chance of Celestia finding out and looking for him. So the bird that had saved him was returned to the kitchen and its fate. An unfair end, but such was life and life had been very unfair to Prey as of late.
Now making his way toward the night guard section as discreetly as posable Prey further considered what he had learned from Celestia.
He had been reflecting on memories for 57 years in Dreverton and never considered that she could have been unaware of what had been done during the war. Prey felt that he should start thinking about old memories again with a more critical eye, looking for anything that may not have occurred to him or seemed strange before. When he had time.
Though time was a something Prey knew he would never have enough of.
But he had other priorities first. Get back to his flat, eat food, and sleep. All preferably with Crimson nearby. Plot revenge against the House of Fell. Start raising chickens. Do all of that and survive whatever fresh hell Luna or anyone else would send them into next.
‘And Gloom,’ Prey thought bitterly to himself. But instead of thinking about that Prey remembered he needed to take care of Strange Happenstance.
‘Eaten from the inside out by worms maybe?’ thought Prey, ‘no that could link back to me. Something more natural perhaps.’
}~~~{^}~~~{
Soon afterward Strange Happenstance would contract cancer.
}~~~{v}~~~{
Prey tried his best to remain unseen as he made his way through the palace and toward the safety of the Night Guard section. While he may not have known the layout of the palace well enough to know exactly where he was, he knew enough to extrapolate a route.
As he rounded a corner he finally spotted a junction he could recognize from memory.
Relief welled in Prey, ‘Just one more hallway until-’
Suddenly Prey heard a pony’s thoughts. ’Oh my gosh she’s so cute, please let me give you a hug little foal.’
‘Apparently the universe won’t be satisfied unless someone dies today,’ Prey thought with a sigh.
Lamenting the fact that he still didn’t have his ribbon back yet he turned to face the soon to be unfortunate pony.
When he saw her his heart dropped so fast he could have sworn it’d stopped, even though the Jaws around it would never let that happen.
Staring at him from just slightly down one of the halls was a pink pony with a multi-hued mane, gold regalia, wings, and a horn.
‘Another alicorn?!’ Prey began cursing every deity he could think of. ‘How many are there?’
Prey wanted to run but he couldn’t. Even with the adrenalin he knew he would stumble and fall before he got far. Prey had no desire to be helpless and in a wolfs clutches again which left him no choice but to try and stand his ground.
The pony noticed Prey looking back at her, ’Oh she saw me, maybe if I ask nicely she’ll let me put some pretty ribbons on her like I used to do with Twilight.’ And she started to trot toward him.
Prey could hear her thoughts, an alicorns thoughts! ‘Is she just as weak minded as most ponies?’ Prey thought.
The alicorn stopped in front of him and spoke, ”Hello, my name is Cadence. What’s your name?” As she spoke her eyes began to dart around Prey. ‘That’s strange, I’ve never seen anything like this before.’
Prey panicked, ’What is she seeing? Is this yet another special talent that can get me caught?’ Prey put on a fake smile, ‘I still don’t have my ribbon back and it’s too late to run. Since I can hear her thoughts there might be a chance I could rewrite her memories. It could go horribly wrong but I don’t have any other choice if she can see something is abnormal about me.’
But before Prey could act he heard a voice that lifts him out of the depts of desperation in an instant.
”Prey!” Crimson shouts as he sees him and starts limping in their direction.
”Crimson!” Prey shouts in return.
’Pray?’ thinks Cadence, ‘Is that her name? Her parents must be very pious. And who is this pegasus?’
Crimson arrives next to Prey. ”Prey what happened? I was…”
Crimson notices the princess in front of Prey and tries to bow but his injuries only allow him to lower his head half way.
Cadence looks over the pegasus in front of her. ’He looks like he’s been thrown through a window…more like a second story window actually,’ she thinks. “Um, you may rise…are you alright,” she says.
”I will recover princes. I’m just glad Prey here is ok,” Crimson responds.
Cadence looks back and forth between Prey and Crimson and between them. ’I’ve only ever seen families with a connection like this,’ Cadence thought.
”You’re her father, right? What are you both doing in the palace?”
”Her fa-?” Crimson struggles to keep the confusion from his voice while Prey raises an eyebrow. “Um, Prey and I are just friends your highness,” Crimson says.
”Oh, my mistake.” Both Prey and Crimson notice a nervous smile appear on her face. ‘This is so embarrassing; I can’t believe I just said that. This injured pony is trying to make sure she’s safe and I just started making assumptions about them. I need to get out of this conversation before I find a way to make a bigger flank of myself!’ thought Cadence.
”Well, I’m glad you found each other. Um, I should be going now. Princess duties to attend to and the like.”
She takes one final look at Prey. ’Maybe I should look into this but… it’s such a strong connection.’
“Well…love is love,” she mumbles, “I’m sorry to have bothered you. Have a nice day.”
As the she starts trotting away Prey hears her closing thoughts on the matter. ‘It’s probably nothing to worry about. I’ve only seen so many ponies so far, maybe it’s just a rare but normal phenomenon.’
Seeing her pass around a corner Prey let’s out a breath he had been holding. Before he could reflect on his latest encounter with royalty, and the revelation of meeting a new alicorn, Crimson spoke up.
“Prey are you ok?”
”I’m alive,” said Prey, “how did you find me here when you were supposed to wait at the gate?”
”I was arguing with the guards at the gate to let me pass when one of the Night Guard lieutenants arrived early and helped me get inside. They said Luna wanted someone to start investigating those involved with your trial immediately.”
”I see,” said Prey. ‘Considering the fact that they tried to defy her it's no surprise Luna wants them delt with quickly. When I’m done with them though most of them will have much more to be afraid of than just a princess’s ire,’ thought Prey.
“What happened to you?” Crimson asked.
”That ‘detective’ tried to throw me to the wolves, but I survived.”
Crimson spoke, ”I’m glad your safe, I was starting to panic.” An unpleasant expression came over Crimson’s face. “Strange he...he came out a while ago and said that Celestia would put you in a cell and that me and Gloom...were next.”
”Did he now?”
}~~~{^}~~~{
Soon after Strange Happenstance would also contract AIDS.
}~~~{v}~~~{
Miraculously, Prey and Crimson manage to make it out of the palace and back to their flats without further incident.
During the slow walk back Prey stayed as close to Crimson as he could. Even at the risk of brushing against Crimson if he stumbled with his injuries. By this point it was sunset and the night was soon to come.
During the walk home Crimson had been glancing Prey’s direction every so often. Prey knew Crimson had something he wanted to ask but couldn’t find the words to say it.
When they arrived, they found a note left under the front door from Scenic saying everyone had heard about Gloom and would come over tomorrow.
Prey was mildly surprised when Crimson was first to ask if Prey could sleep in Crimson’s flat tonight. Prey of course agrees despite Crimson’s flat not being as well protected.
”I’ve…” Prey wasn’t ready to talk about any of the things that had happened in the past few days. “…already gotten clean. Why don’t you try to take a shower while I make something for us to eat.”
”Ok,” Crimson responded.
Prey decides to make sandwiches sense they would not take long to make or consume. Rather than a real shower Crimson chose to simply stick his head under the shower stream to relieve some of the aches without agitating his cuts and stiches.
The meal goes by quietly. Prey wasn’t sure whether he was thankful for that.
During their modest diner Prey thought about how few chances Crimson had had to eat lately. ’Not ideal, but nothing today has been ideal.’ Even as he ate Prey felt the exhaustion attempting to consume him. ’This will do for tonight but I’ll need to figure out an excuse to let Crimson be alone tomorrow so he can eat something that meets his dietary requirements. He’ll need it to recover efficiently.’
After they finish eating they prepare to get sone rest. Once again Prey chose to sleep on blankets on the floor next to Crimson’s bed.
Prey had been hoping to avoid any conversations tonight but Crimson eventually spoke up.
“I was thinking about ways to try to stop this from happening again. When you were arrested no one had any legal right to see you in your cell or be at your trial. You’ve said you have a family in the frontier but…”
Crimsons mental walls shifted with uncertainty but not enough for Prey to hear anything.
Crimson took a breath and spoke, ”I could try to adopt you, ” he said, “as a ward I mean…your guardian.” He quickly added. “You can just say no if you want, or if you do have someone waiting for you to return home.”
“I don’t really have a family,” Prey admitted. There was no point lying about it to Crimson anymore.
This was not something that Prey had prepared any response for.
There was some merit to the idea. It would give Prey the right to demand Crimson be present in many situations. With Lemon Pink’s help getting the paperwork approved would be easy. But admitting he lied to everyone, including princes Luna, would likely have consequences.
‘But its Crimson asking me this. Even after he found me in the sewers and knowing about the elements, he still offered to try this.’ Prey thought. ’Does any of that even really matter?’
So much had happened in the past week, day, hours. Prey felt exhausted, he needed time.
“It’s been a long day, could I think about it.”
“Of course, as long as you need and I won’t be offended if you say no,” Crimson assured.
“Thank you.”
Crimson looked at his bed then back to Prey.
“I don’t want to try to climb into bed right now. Could I sleep on the floor with you?”
Prey chose not to point out that Crimson was asking to sleep on his own floor.
”Sure, sleep well,” Prey said.
Crimson nods and lies down next to Prey.
As Prey prepared to drift into sleep, he considered what tomorrow would entail. ‘I need to make sure Crimsons wounds aren’t getting infected, commiserate with Scenic and the others, start figuring out how to get Gloom back, plot the downfall of the Fell’s, and figure out how to keep chickens in my flat.’
There were so many things to do, decisions to make, and things to consider tomorrow. But for the moment Prey had time to sleep, and the night would watch over him until he awoke.
Oh, and Strange Happenstance. . .
}~~~{^}~~~{
On top of everything else Strange Happenstance contradicted chronic halitosis.
}~~~{v}~~~{
The end.
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i was not ready for an au where strange happenstance develops cancer. nothing could have prepared me.
great job on this!! i hope to possibly see more from you in the future :)
A nice bit of wish fulfillment. Of course this is utterly impossible because Prey... Well Prey wasn't born lucky, nor was he even lucky enough to be born. No, it was bad luck that Prey was made at all.
A nice entertaining thought of "what if".
Though I like how the original ends, this version, that Celestia simply... didn't know, if done well and expanded upon, could be simultaneously a bone thrown by the universe for Prey and a swift kick to the teeth.
And hey, even if the story was lackluster, Lamb Words are Lamb Words. Though I'm happy to say it was a nice and light "before bed" read.
i like the concept but feels weird to flip prey motivations, at the start he mentions "He had tried to be a better person. Tried to be loyal. Tried to be a good friend" and talks about mssing being with crimson but this is set before his death so idk in the og he distrustful, bitter, and is always planning never enjoying or think about enjoying anything and even up till the end it was mostly true only in death did he get of those traits.
This. I too wish for Prey to continue on and become a better boy.
Although, I fail to imagine somepony staying in the position of power for as long as Celestia has, and not becoming aware of the basics.
Like, your underlings may become corrupt and hide things from you. But that’s me nitpicking. Great work.
Do you think this could be developed into a fork of PaaL? I mean, you can write, come on.
That was pretty funny, I really love "shock jokes".
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Continuing this story would be a challenge. My New Year's resolution is to write more and this was really a first step for me. My next PaaL project will probably be an another small or medium sized what if story. Hopefully ambition will come with practice.
I wish I lived in an alternate universe where this was canon 😭 Great job on the story! ❤
Also, Prey getting adopted by Crimson is now part of my headcanon. Thank you for the idea, I have no idea how didn't I think of it before.
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Prey needs more family. In my headcanon he comes to see Lemon as his daughter.
FINALLY! Amazed no one mistook that as his name in the original.
Ps. princes—> princess x2
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Yeah, me too. Have there been any notable attempts at describing pony religions on this website?