You seem to have javascript disabled, or your browser is failing to execute it properly. Much of Fimfiction's functionality requires javascript so we suggest you turn it on!

Behold, The worst aim in Equestria!

This is a story all about how Stultus a Unicorn in Ponyville goes to Canterlot on an important mission from one of her customers,

Nothing goes right for her

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 3 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 3
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Comment posted by RandomCommentor deleted Jul 6th, 2022

Starswirl the Beardless

Starswirl the Beardless #2 · Jul 12th, 2022 · · ·

Well, this story was certainly original, if nothing else. I don't think I've ever seen another one about somepony trying and failing to assassinate Celestia with a pair of glocks before. A story with such a wacky premise really should have the "Random" tag in addition to "Comedy". That being said, it wasn't particularly funny, even during the centerpiece joke. I guess that joke could have worked if it had been stretched out a little more and had had a bit more buildup before it, but as it is, the story is too fast paced to make it work. Leaving that aside, you also have a huge number of mechanical errors throughout, so I can't say it was well-written on a base level either. It was a good attempt, but this definitely needed some more work.

Gigachief

Gigachief #3 · Jul 12th, 2022 · · ·

11298159
1
Thanks for the comment
2
I've never really written before so this is more of a test to see what I could I would probably stretch it out but as of now I'm working on chapter 2 (Luna) and will likely have to do it afterwards

3 Adding random tag