Bon Bon -- Five Second Rule
Written by: Calligraphy
Rated Everyone
Bon Bon let out a sigh as she stepped back from the oven, drawing a hoof across her sweat-covered brow. Her kitchen was hot. Not the nice, relaxing, sauna-type hot, but the kind of hot that makes you wish you were icecream, simply so you could melt. She glanced around the room and frowned. Something was wrong. The counters were spotless, the cupboards all closed, the floors swept and the dishes done and yet... something was off.
The earth pony nibbled on her lip as she scanned the room again. Oh, she thought. It’s too clean. That’s the problem. Where is she, I wonder? Bon Bon let out a ‘hmph’ and turned back to the oven, where her last batch of sweets was finishing its baking. As she waited for the timer to finish, she counted silently in her head.
5...
4...
3...
2...
1... Here she is. Sure enough, as soon as the timer went off, a mint green unicorn was at Bon Bon’s side, rubbing her hooves together in anticipation.
“They’re mint this time, aren’t they Bon Bon? Mint is my favorite you know. Well, of course you know, but maybe you’ve forgotten. Mint is my favorite! They are mint, aren’t they?”
Bon Bon sighed and moved the tray onto a cooling rack waiting on the counter, but gave her roommate the answer she wanted to hear.
“Yes, Lyra. They’re mint. I’ve known mint is your favorite since you moved in with me.”
“Ohhh, goodie! Can I have some?” the green unicorn begged, ready to crank out the crocodile tears. Bon Bon couldn’t resist those. But she shook her head.
“No, Lyra. I have to take these up front, they're for display only,” the cream earth pony said firmly, ignoring Lyra's crumpled expression. For good reason, too, she thought.
“Please, Bon Bon? Just one!”
“No, Lyra. We both know if I let you have one, they'll all be gone.”
“But--”
“No buts. These are display only!” Bon Bon said, a hint of anger entering her voice. Lyra shrank under her friend's glare.
“Sorry Bon Bon,” the dejected unicorn mumbled, shuffling sadly out of the room. She purposefully walked into a wall in the hallway and a small crash could be heard as a vase fell to the floor. Bon Bon rolled her eyes at her housemate's dramatic exit and shouted loud enough so her friend could hear.
“You're paying for that vase!” A wail could be heard in response and Bon Bon just shook her head. She turned back to the oven and picked up the tray off of the rack she had set it on while talking to Lyra. She carried it carefully towards the kitchen doorway, a bit annoyed she couldn't see her hooves past the tray. Her progress was halted by a heap of green unicorn though, who lay in the doorway moaning. Bon Bon tripped on the green mare's hooves and fell on her face in the hall, mint candies flying everywhere. Bon Bon struggled to her hooves first and spun to face the unicorn, fuming.
“Lyra, of all the stupid things--“ Bon Bon cut her rant short as she noticed Lyra standing up and gazing at the mint candies that lay scattered on the floor. The more mature pony, out of habit, immediately began counting.
5...
4...
3...
2... Bon Bon never made it to one. By the time she had finished thinking 'two', Lyra had swooped down and snagged all of the sweets off the floor in a single gulp. Black-Hole-Lyra sat on the floor in front of her, cheeks bulging with candy. Despite this, though, Lyra beamed at Bon Bon, who stared at the unicorn mare in disbelief. How is her mouth that big? The sitting mare stopped beaming, a concerned expression starting to slide over her features.
“Ermph, Bomph Bomph? Deesh candeesh tashte weirph,” she mumbled around her gigantic mouthful of candy. She spat the candies onto the floor and, to her horror, watched as they melted.
“Wha--” Lyra said, unable to go further. Her astonishment was plain on her face.
“They're wax, silly. Display only, remember?” Bon Bon giggled. I really am too evil. Perhaps she's learned her lesson this time, she thought. Lyra gaped at her friend and roommate and then sighed.
“Bon Bon, that was really clever of you. Mean, but clever,” Lyra said, her tone less bouncy than usual. Then it was Bon Bon's turn to gape.
“Whoa, Lyra! You just spoke two sentences without sounding like an over-energized filly! Congrats!” Bon Bon said, causing Lyra to simply rolled her eyes.
“Bon Bon, you're silly. I always talk normally. I mean, who doesn't talk normally? Well, aside from maybe Pinkie Pie. I wonder if I should ask her, 'Hey Pinkie Pie, do you think you talk normally?' Although maybe I shouldn't be so rude about it. 'Pinkie, what's your definition of normal?' Hmm, that's no good -- that could get weird. That would be funny, having a weird conversation about being nor--” Bon Bon jammed her hoof into Lyra's mouth. The silenced unicorn started playfully gnawing on her hoof and Bon Bon yanked it away like she'd been slapped.
“I am the PONYMONSTER! I must EAT!” Lyra moaned, leaning towards Bon Bon with jaw lolling. Bon Bon squeaked and ran into the kitchen.
“No! Don't eat me Ponymonster! I'll make more candy, don't worry, just don't eat me! Eek!” Bon Bon yelled behind her. Lyra snapped out of zombpony mode and sat on the floor with a slight 'squee'.
“Okay! I'll be right here until it's done,” she said happily. Bon Bon groaned and headed back into the kitchen to make some candy for her ponymonster friend.
A week later, Bon Bon leaned over the oven again, this time waiting for her butterscotch to finish. The kitchen was clean again, meaning she should be expecting a surprise attack from Lyra as soon as the timer went off.
5...
4...
3...
2... Bon Bon dived forward and turned off the timer before it rang. She turned around triumphantly, confident that her housemate wouldn't be in the kitchen this time. She was startled to see the green unicorn standing right there, watching her with a happy grin. Bon Bon sighed.
“I should've known it wouldn't work. Oh well. Hello, Lyra.”
“Hi Bon Bon!”
“I'm taking these out of the oven now, don't eat them,” Bon Bon said, glaring at Lyra warningly, the green mare raising a hoof as if making a promise. Bon Bon decided not to mention the fact it was the right hoof you were supposed to hold up, not the left. Bon Bon pulled the candies tray out of the oven and put it on the cooling rack with a final glance at Lyra, who hadn't moved. Just then, the bell rang from the front of the store. Bon Bon went to answer the customer. Lyra watched her go, making sure she was out of sight before inching towards the cooling butterscotch candies.
Bon Bon finished helping Twilight, the local librarian, and headed back to the kitchen to bring out her new tray of candies. Lyra already had half of them in her mouth and was holding another several in a cloud of magic. Upon seeing Bon Bon, she dropped those and opened her mouth to speak, dropping a few more.
“I cash eshplain?” Lyra said, looking to her friend apologetically.
“They're wax,” Bon Bon said dismissively. Lyra stared at her friend and quickly spat out all of the candies and ran from the room.
“Now I have to brush my teeth again!” Lyra wailed as she headed to their bathroom. Bon Bon sighed. Does the five second rule count with saliva? Probably not. I'll just have to make more...
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This fic in a nutshell. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_gaze.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_cry.png
My work here is done.
Two mistakes if I'm being a real annoyance
:
1. shouted loud enough her friend could hear- missing word here.
2. see her feet past the tray- Ponies have hooves and not feet.
Okay, I'm done finding faults now. Like I said Calli, great work, I enjoyed reading it.
1433009
That's... good, right? If it is, thanks!
If not, that's okay. I was pretty sure this was too silly anyway. * shrugs *
1433104
Thanks for nitpicking, Dreamy. ^^ I appreciate it.
I read this when it was still a google doc. fantastic ficon one of my favorite ponies!
1433858
Thanks for reading! I hope I characterized her to your liking.
1433154
Well I liked it, Sorry if that wasn't obvious
. I am a sucker for dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
1435749
Oh! Well, thank you. I was confused by the facehoof. Glad you liked it.
Oh, that Lyra.
*Woosh* Stay tuned for more "Leave It To Bon-bon"! *Exit Woosh*
1447190
Hahaha, thanks for reading!
Hmm, why do I suddenly want to see an eating contest between Lyra and Pinkie Pie?
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_ooh.png Everypony run!!
1457873
That would be hilarious. Dangerously so.
Thanks for reading!
Lyra ate wax. And didn't notice? She's worse than PINKIE PIE! When Pinkie says she won't do something, at least she doesn't!
Without some modifier indicating this is a recent behaviour or she only does it sometimes, I can't help but wonder how the heck BonBon stays employed with Lyra inhaling every single item she makes.
1530723
I suppose it's a good thing Lyra didn't Pinkie Promise. Besides, she promised wrongly, anyway. Held up the left hoof?
1533751
You'll just have to figure it out on your own...
Ha, lulz were had. Good stuff! Quite decently written. Some Lyra/BonBon shenanigans are always fun.
1632844
Thank you! I've seen your comments on other chapters and was wondering if I'd hear from you as well. Glad to know it was enjoyable.
Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice shame on you. At least I think that's how it goes.
Good story by the way.
Cute story. I think it was adorable when Lyra just started noming on Bon Bon's hoof.
2481986 I believe it's the other way around. I could be wrong though.
This was a cute story, and I like how they're just friends in this one like they actually are, though I hate when people think Lyra acts like Pinkie. I don't think she does.
~LATEP