Written by: Fury of the Tempest
Rated Everyone
Suspicion. Rumours. Distrust.
To Fancypants, it seemed that whenever someone was fantastically successful, there was always talk about them playing dirty to do so. Sometimes this was true and they were found out. However, just as often they were successful cleanly, only for their reputation to be cast into a dark light by the rumours.
Such was the way of the world.
Fancypants was no stranger to such rumours himself. Both because of his own successes and those of his father. Both of them ranked among the most successful business ponies to have ever lived. There was a difference between the two of them however.
For Fancypants’s father, the rumours had been true.
Fancypants himself however, did his work cleanly.
…
At least, now he did.
As he thought about this, the white unicorn smiled to himself. From his balcony, the sight of Canterlot faded out of focus as his mind cast back in time. Memories soon cropped up about the sensation he had caused when he announced his decision to leave the family business, starting a new enterprise from scratch. The reason that he made such a radical decision was that he wanted the challenge, or at least, that is what he claimed. In reality, he had decided to make a fresh new start and earn his money properly. Not using the power he already had to take control of more.
He had to admit, he was surprised at just how well he did. Not only did he manage to find a place in the market that no one else had spotted but he did so well in that spot he was able to buy back the family company. In the business circles, it was an even bigger sensation then when he had left. Nopony had ever expecting him to be so successful.
All but one pony, that was.
Fancypants turned away from the sight before his eyes at the sound of approaching hooves. His small smile of reminiscence widening into a smile of simple joy at the sight of the rose-white mare in front of him.
“Oh come on, it’s only been a few minutes since you’ve last seen me. Surely you are not that overjoyed to see me, are you?” Fleur de Lis said, though she was smiling herself as she slowly walked up to her husband.
“Everytime I see you, it’s like the sun and the moon have risen up from a thousand year darkness.” The mare giggled at the comment, hugging Fancypants once she reached him.
“Hush you old romantic, don’t you know that things like that are considered corny in this day and age.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t have to tell you the truth,” the stallion answered, giving Fleur a quick kiss before assisting her, helping her to lie down on the couch, lying down beside her once she was comfortable. The mare soon moved so she was hugging Fancypants however, making him laugh.
“One of these days I’m going to grow old of this constant hugging.”
“No you won’t, you're too huggable to get old at being hugged.”
“Just because I’m huggable doesn’t mean I don’t want to be hugged all the time.”
“Haven’t complained about it yet, though that might change when the foal is born.”
“True enough,” Fancypants admitted with another small laugh as he smiled down at Fleur.
“So, what were you thinking about this time?”
“Oh you know... rumours.”
“... You mean when you weren’t so...”
“Righteous? Charitable? Handsome?” This time it was the mare that laughed at the comment, particularly the last one.
“You were always handsome, even back then. It was your looks that caught my eye originally, you know.”
“It is a well-known fact that I am irresistible to mares.”
“Oh really? Is that what they call it these days? Instead of being so nervous that you stuttered when talking to a mare near your age.” Fancypants shifted uncomfortably at that reminder, obviously not liking to remember that.
“Do you have to mention that?”
“Of course I do,” Fleur answered with a teasing grin. “It was cute how you got so flustered when trying just to say hi. It was a surprise that I even got to know you.”
“I can think of something else that was also a surprise...” Fancypants said softly, looking off into the distance. Earning him a sigh from his wife.
“Just regretting that?”
“Of course I do, I hit you!”
“I hit you first.”
“That was just a slap and I completely deserved it. What I did was a solid blow and I didn’t plan to stop there! I was so angry that you had found me out, so angry about what you had said that I--” The unicorn then found himself unable to continue talking as his lips were blocked by Fleur’s. Closing his eyes, he melted into the kiss, feeling the mare press into him.
Before either of them got carried away, they both broke apart, panting slightly. The female unicorn was the first one to recover and speak.
“But you didn’t. Stop regretting what you did and wanted to do in the past. Just concentrate on the present and our future.” Fancypants considered this words for a while, before simply smiling at Fleur. The kiss did more then shut him up, but also put him in a much better mood. The stallion dropped the conversation completely as he pulled Fleur into a gentle embrace.
An embrace that was broken when Fancypants started, his gaze dropping down to Fleur’s swollen belly.
“Was that a kick?”
“It was, a strong one at that. Our foal is going to be a nice, healthy one I can tell. Perhaps they might even end up joining the Royal Guard.”
“That’s a bit of a jump dear.”
“So? A mare can dream can’t they? About their foal standing tall and proud among Equestira’s great protectors. Who wouldn’t want their foal to be a guard?”
“Well I for one might mind a little bit, because I really do want an heir to keep the family business going.”
“Then just adopt your protégé already! You already treat one another as father and son, everyone can see it. So just fill in the paperwork and make it official.”
“You’re not going to stop going on about that are you?” Fancypants asked with another laugh.
“Not until you fill in the paperwork!”
“I’ll consider it... as for now though...” Fleur rolled her eyes at her husband’s grin, though she was smiling herself.
“You're insatiable, you know that right?”
“Well, when I have you for a wife, why wouldn’t I be?”
“True enough,” Fleur murmured in agreement as she drew her husband in for another, longer kiss.
I really like this one.
Good one.
This piece invokes, to me, the fury of a tempest.
Or is that evokes? Either way, good showing to the entire next batch I just read (applebloom forward). It's great to see so many different character interpretations, and I enjoy the hints of a real story behind the slice of story given in a number of these fics.
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That's what makes them a snapshot--the feeling that this is only a part of something larger.
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I suppose, but at the same time, there are stories like Aloe, cute, single serving slice of life stories that stand strong and tell an opening, middle, and conclusion that wraps up all the loose ends, and that's a snapshot slice of life too. Lily's is like that too, as is Blueblood's. On the other side, you've got 'bloom's, Fancypant's, and Twinkleshine's which all imply a heavy backstory or heavy future story, but not one to be told at this moment. They stand on their own as well, but they hint that a real lengthly story, one of those 300k word drops, could be present behind the scenes.
I enjoy both the "complete package" type story as well as the "leave strings untied in case lacking a story idea in future" type stories. I just find it interesting how different people interpreted "a day in the life" differently (very few of us actually did a wholly usual "day in the life", I think only Fleur-de-lis fully and 100% did it [look forward to it, other folks!] of the ones I've read). Even mine was a rare occurrence (he never wakes up late), and I can't imagine the flashback-laden ones that the characters dwell on it each and every day (except maybe Gilda and Trixie, as their problems were quite recent, though even Trixie "bent the rule" by making it H&H day, a unique non-daily event). We look at exceptional days in the life, as a group. Days in the life that specifically are slightly off from an entirely regular day in the life, to show contrast and create conflict in the tale. Just an interesting observation of the creativity present here and the many different ways everyone approached this project.
So I'm just enjoying the variety of the interpretations. Any other authors reading this, 'tis not a critique, I have enjoyed all the ones I have read thus far, including a number of those not yet published. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png
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Y'know, I did ORGANIZE this project. I DO kinda know how this works, mate, heh.
Except, I would argue, no. Otherwise I wouldn't have allowed them in here. We can't really do 'true' every day stories--that's just a boring recording. These are stories. SOMEthing has to happen, there must be a conflict of some sort that gets resolved. Now, Dawn's is an exception--but that's not easy to pull off because that takes expert character building abilities. For everyone else? It's less a literal slice and more a...feeling of it. They feel 'alive', these Moments. Most of them feel like things have happened to build up to that point and that things will happen afterwards because of it.
I deny complete package entries. I assure you, none of these feel that way to me or they wouldn't be here.
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dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png I suppose we merely view things through different lenses. Such a thing is inevitable, and I doubt we're about the change each others minds, at least in any reasonable amount of time, so let's agree that the stories are good, and that different people enjoy them in different ways.
We all appreciate the editing and organizational effort you do too, of course.
Ah, I always enjoy a good Fancypants story. He's such a bro.
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Keep in mind that I edited these--but I held back some, since I didn't want to actually change any individual author's piece itself. While I agree with a few of your points (I always support more em dashes but en dashes can go die in a fire), your complaints about 'sluggishness' should be tempered with the characterization. Slightly clunky, somewhat dense sentences would suit Blueblood very well, I think. Still, it's something of a matter of opinion, more than anything else.
A cute little story here, I quite enjoyed it!
Now, few critiques!
-Fancypants shifted uncomfortably at that reminder, obviously not liking to remember that.
“Do you have to mention that?”
Repeditive.
-The kiss did more then shut him up, but also put him in a much better mood.
This was a bit awkwardly worded.
-The stallion dropped the conversation completely as he pulled Fleur into a gently embrace.
Typo.
-“Your insatiable, you know that right?”
WHAT IS THIS?!
Heh, those errors aside, this was pretty decently written. A couple places where I wasn't quite sure who was speaking, but other than that, pretty good! This fandom needs more Fancypants and Fleur.
Very nice, and I really liked the hinting of a heavy backstory. It really does feel like it belongs in its own seperate story.
Hmm. Fancy Pants has a protégé? A male protégé? Curious.
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It's "evokes". To invoke is to call on (invoking God's mercy) or to declare to be in effect (invoking a law)- it's a specific and deliberate act. Evoke can be used in the same way, but also means to produce or suggest through artistry or imagination, which I think is the sense you're going for here.
Your dictionary lesson for 12/26/2012 has been brought to you by Magic: the Gathering and the number 8.
I liked this one. Fancypants has always been one of the rich ponies I like, He isn't snobby and seeMs very well mannered. The mare he's always with I could never get a read on, but she is very pretty. I love how sweet this way written. Very good job!
~LATEP
This was surprisingly cute.