Iron Will -- Larger Than Life
Written by: Paleo Prints
Rated Everyone
Appleloosa, 1:34 PM
Bufford straightened his tie as he nervously stared down the backstage of the Appleloosa theater. “Are ya certain that the monster’s gone irate?”
Scooter and Spinner exchanged a look before answering their employer. “Boss,” said Scooter after a second, “I ain’t never seen a rodeo hand throwin’ a fit about this kinda stuff. I just can’t ken how ta deal with this.”
Bufford’s shoulders slumped for the briefest second. The earth pony licked his hoof, ran it through the remaining wisps of his mane, and walked toward the entertainer’s door with all the relish of a stallion marching to the gallows.
“Mister Will?” He gingerly tapped on the door. “Mister Will, I understand that there’s some tumbleweeds we have to straighten out.”
“Come in,” bellowed a voice deeper than the town well. “Iron Will has something to discuss with you!”
Bufford walked inside slowly, looking out for surprise axe strikes. The dressing room space was dominated by a gigantic minotaur. The glowering monster sat on a stool, soaking in the attention of a bevy of goats with brushes in their mouths.
The wrathful performer pointed a finger at Bufford. The pony stared at it, unused to the gesture. “Iron Will finds your venue wanting.”
The stage manager swallowed and forced a smile to his face. “The Appleloosa stage has never had problems with performer’s wishes. We had the Dodge Junction Rodeo Players last week. Before that, the Canterlot Rodeo Re-enactors were here. Heck, we once had Mustache Glasses the Rodeo Clown!”
Iron Will and one of the goats almost seemed to exchange a glance, but Bufford discounted the thought. “Of course,” the minotaur said. “Iron Will notes your variety of performers.”
Bufford took a second to adjust his bow tie. “What seems to be the burr in your bonnet?”
Iron Will swiveled, gesturing to the large table. “Iron Will has no jelly-beans!”
Bufford blinked. “I beg your pardon?”
The minotaur snorted. “Iron Will’s contract stipulates a bowl of green jelly beans before every performance. There is clearly no such bowl here.”
Bufford’s eyes swirled in their sockets.
Iron Will grinned. “If you miss the candy, the contract ain’t dandy.”
Seconds later, an irate Bufford approached his staff. A mob of the stage’s workers were gathered at the end of the hallway, feigning ignorance and deafness of the dressing down their boss had just experienced.
Bufford gave them an irate scowl. “Well, golly. Go over that durned contract and make sure we’ve done fulfilled it. I guess showbiz folks just ain’t normal folks.”
Fillydelphia Train station, 7:57 AM, That Morning
“Mom, I’ll come home to Tartaurus to visit soon. I promise.”
Iron Will pensively pushed his eggs around on his plate. He idly stared around the diner he had taken his parents to. Iron lifted his eyes and smiled before making eye contact with his mother.
The larger minotaur leaned over the table and clocked him on the forehead. His father just nodded appreciatively as he kept smoking his pipe, offering an occasional, “Yes, Dear.”
“I’m not sure if I want you to visit. This is the send-off we get?” She looked at her empty coffee and cast a baleful eye at the waitress, standing by the counter and chewing gum. “We haven’t seen you in months, and a greasy spoon is the best you can do?”
Iron’s father nodded at the appropriate moments as Iron rubbed his forehead.
“Mom, I have a busy schedule. I have to be in Appleloosa by noon to get my show ready. I mean, I cared enough to send you train tickets for the weekend while I was here, didn’t I?”
His father nodded, drawing a glare from his wife. He immediately switched to head shaking as Iron’s mother sighed.
“Iron Stanley Will, your cousin’s been made Lead Manager of Bellowing and Threatening! When I go back to the Warrens, I get to brag about my son being a stand-up comedian. I should throw myself into the lava as soon as I get home.”
Iron was systematically dismembering his scrambled eggs, using the side of the fork as a battle-axe.
“I’m an inspirational speaker, Mom. I’m not a comedian.”
“You get up on a stage and make an audience laugh!”
“I motivate them to change their life.” Iron sighed as he felt the manacles of the ancient conversation clasp around him.
Constance Guard peered at her son as she continually tapped her coffee mug against the table. Patrons on the other side of the restaurant heard the loud clicking sound.
“So, do you tell any jokes on-stage?”
He dug his hooves into the diner carpet.
“Well, I do have to break the ice every so... “
His mother accidentally let go of the cup, bringing her fist down onto it. It shattered into pieces.
The waitress arrive at the table, her vocational training having informed her intuition of the least useful time to appear. “Coffee, anyone?”
“Baaaaaah.”
Iron turned to the goat that had stealthily approached him and sighed. “Mom, give me a second. I have to take this.”
Appleloosa, 12:39 PM
Iron Will strolled down the Appleloosan streets. The townsfolk’s eyes followed him wherever he went. One filly he passed gasped and ran behind her parents. They cast challenging stares at the minotaur. A little colt bounced up and down with glee at the sight of the performer, but his mother clapped her teeth on his mane and dragged him inside a nearby building.
Iron Will allowed no change to show in his demeanor. He was well-practiced. Soon he arrived at an apple pie stand. The mare behind the counter shrunk inside her bonnet, her eyes and green hair the only things visible.
“C’n I help you, sir?”
Iron Will smiled as he put a dainty floral basket on the counter. “Yes, I’d like three apple pies, please. Also, would you... ”
“Baah.” The goat next to Iron poked him with a horn in the thigh. Iron Will sighed and swallowed.
The shivering mare started to smile. “All right, sir. What else can I do ya for?”
Iron Will leaned forward onto the counter. Apple Pie heard her beloved stand creak.
“Iron Will requires fifteen apple fritters. Iron Will needs them immediately.”
Miss Pie nodded, sweat pouring down her coat as she hurried to fill the order. Iron Will turned to look at the disproving townsfolk muttering at him.
“That durn fancy show-biz fella’s got no sense o’ propriety,” he overhead. Iron Will breathed in and out slowly.
Appleloosa Stage, Dressing Room, 1:49 PM
“Baaaah.”
Iron Will rested his head in his hands as he leaned onto the dressing room table. Idly he picked a jelly bean out of a glass bowl and flicked it across the room.
“I didn’t break character, okay? She just looked like she was having a bad day. Next time, you guys get me my lunch yourselves.”
“Baah.”
Iron held one of the candies between his fingers and peered at it. His eyes traced the path of the swirls in the sugary shell. As he had done countless times before, he forgot the past and threw the bean into his mouth. After a tentative chew he spit the noxious thing into the nearest spittoon.
“Flames of Tartaurus, do we really need these things?”
“Baaah.”
“No, I know it’s the best way to see if the venue reads the contract. I dunno, couldn’t we get some blue ones instead?”
“Baaaaah.” The goat’s blank, unthinking stare stayed focused on the opposite wall.
“Very funny. Well, if you can make the time I’d appreciate it.”
“Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.”
Iron Will stood up. He walked over to the goat and looked down at him. The goat’s gaze rose to make eye contact. A second of tense silence passed.
“I cannot believe you could say that to me after all this time.”
The goat stared back for several moments.
“Bah.”
Iron’s shoulders relaxed. He pet the goat amiably. “Yeah, I know. It’s getting to me, too.” The stressed-out performer sat back down and lifted a cold apple fritter with interest. He was almost taking a bite when the goat interrupted.
“Baaaaaah.”
Iron closed his mouth, placing the fritter back into the basket. “What about the smoke machine?”
Buffalo Camp, 3:34 PM
Iron Will took a long drag of the peace pipe as he scrutinized Chief Thunderhooves. The buffalo gave him a guarded look, occasionally looking away to share a meaningful glance with a younger warrior.
“So,” Iron said as he lowered his pipe. “All I need is to gather some legerdemain weed. I just need enough to run my heap big machine back at my show tonight. That is why I come for Pow-Wow, Big Chief of Buffalo.”
Thunderhooves stared back at the minotaur. “Heap big machine, huh?” He raised an eyebrow.
Iron Will shifted uncomfortably. He looked down into “Doctor Snake Oil’s Buffalo Phrase Book” briefly before throwing it into the fire. “Yeah, I got a smoke machine I gotta power.”
Thunderhooves’ eyes lit up. “Oh, wow! Would it be a Magic Master or a Fantastic Fogger?”
Iron leaned forward and smiled. “It’s a Fogger 7500, with optional bubble blower.”
The Chief nodded. “Excellent make for such a limited run. Our shaman uses one for vision quests.” Thunderhooves chuckled. “You spend your special effects budget more wisely than your phrase book money.”
Iron spread his hands in embarrassment as the braves around him chuckled. “Granted, Chief. So, may I gather the weed?”
Thunderhooves nodded. “Certainly. I’ll let you gather in the Sacred Garden as soon as you pass the trial by wrestling.”
Iron nodded contemplatively. “Well, I got my start wrestling. At least this time I don’t have a scripted fall. When do we start?”
A gigantic buffalo knocked the surprised minotaur off of his log, hooting and hollering. The two forms began rolling around in the dust. Chief Thunderhooves laughed as he reached for the peace pipe.
“Dear me, I thought you knew. The Trial By Wrestling is traditionally thrown as a surprise.”
Appleloosa Rodeo Stage, 4:55 PM
The goats turned in shock as Iron Will dragged himself into his dressing room. One of them dropped the can he chewed as he took in the scrapes and disheveled coat on the performer.
“Baaaah!”
“Baaah!”
“Baaaaaaah!”
Iron Will placed his basket of fresh legerdemain weed on a table and waved his hands. “Guys! Guys, it’s okay. It was kind of fun. Reminded me of high school.”
He limped to his chair. Iron Will stood up straight and placed his hands on his knees. The goats surrounded him, brushes and make-up applicators in their mouths.
“So, do I have time to grab dinner before the show?”
“Baahh!”
“Bah.”
“Of course. Well, let’s get on with it.”
Appleloosa Rodeo Main Stage, 5:59 PM
The stands of the Appleloosa Theater were packed as the lights started to dim. Braeburn turned to Apple Pie with a smile.
“You sure you wanna be here, Sis?”
She nervously nodded. “I-I figure I’ll see what the hub-bub is about.”
Braeburn made a tch noise with his tongue. “I can’t say I like the idea of you throwing bits in that monster’s hat after the way I heard he treated you.”
“I didn’t.”
Braeburn raised his eyebrows.
“H-he... left our tickets in my coin basket when he paid for the fritters.”
Braeburn found no response as the smoke machine fired from behind the stage curtain. The goats milling around the stage turned spotlights on the stage as Iron Will stepped through the smoke to the crowd’s applause.
“At last, Iron Will has returned to Appleloosa!”
The crowd roared as the minotaur dramatically raised an eyebrow. Apple Fritter clapped with delight as Iron Will went into his routine with a practiced excitement. Braeburn smiled as the show continued, only stopping when the celebrity pointed right at his sister.
“You, Miss!” Iron grinned as Apple Pie pointed to herself. “Yes, you! Miss Pie Seller, are you a doormat? Would you like to stand up for yourself?”
Apple Pie’s eyes went wide. She turned to Braeburn.
“You don’t have to unless you want to,” he offered.
“No, it’s... I want to. He’s amazing! Nothing gets to him. He’s untouchable!”
As she ran down the aisle, Iron Will smiled to the cheering crowd. For those briefest of moments, she was right.
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This project is making me love the stories about characters I'd never even think about normally- first Flim and now this one! Great job!
1413257
That was one of my secondary goals, glad to see it's achieved.
Tertiary, and one shot characters never get any love... until now
. That was a delightful read. I am loving this series and everything it produces.
Well, that was awesome. Better use of the Buffalo than Over a Barrel.
So, because of story backlog I was working through, I am now reading this story backwards.
I may or may not be back.
(To this chapter for comments
)
Hmm, very interesting. This collection of stories has definately made me think about characters I normally wouldn't have shaken a stick at.
1416290
Won't stop this community from doing it anyway, heh.
An interesting look at one of my favorite characters. Well done!
1416272
Agreed, I have plenty to think about for a ton of characters. Gilda and Iron Will both are characters I've not given a second thought to in ages.
1423366>>1424052>>1416272
Iron Will is starring in my story Chaos and Darkness. You get to see Tartaurus in chapter 1!
I really liked this one. It made me wonder about the early days of Iron Will's career and how he got his start.
Also...his mother is even bigger than he is? She must be enormous.
Is it just me, or does Iron Will have some feelings for Apple Pie in this one?
That was quite an amusing snapshot! An interesting look into the character that includes some good shenanigans and laughs, with a charming ending. Well thought-out and executed. Also,
-A gigantic buffalo knocked the surprised minotaur off of his log, hooting and hollering. The two forms began rolling around in the dust. Chief Thunderhooves laughed as he reached for the peace pipe.
“Dear me, I thought you knew. The Trial By Wrestling is traditionally thrown as a surprise.”
This was very fun. :D
1525246
I liked the idea of minotaur females being larger than males. I think that little sexual dimorphism I picked up from the Predator novels.
1569436
Well, my only itent was to have him feel upset about using his "game face" on her... but that'd make an interesting sequel. Man, this is the second thing I wrote Iron Will into, and it seems like he has this leading man gravity toward the female cast members. Before I started writing, I never understood what it meant to have you characters run away from you.
1578790
Thanks! I think the buffalo culture as protrayed has the potential for a lot of comedy with being degraded, and I may come back to them.
Hmmm did'nt expect this. Very nice.
Never cared for Iron, but I would like to think not all of of his kind are as pushy and demandy like Iron is, but I like how you showed Iron wasn't actually that way. I will say however the goats were a bit annoying. Good story.
~LATEP
Very interesting! Like others have stated, it got me thinking about a character I don't usually ruminate much about. Well written, and I'm interested in seeing more, so I think I'll check out the story you linked.
Hasn't updated in 2 years!? Well I'm reading it now so hop to it!