• Published 22nd Sep 2021
  • 7,505 Views, 569 Comments

New Noses To Know - Irrespective

Baked Bean and Princess Celestia have welcomed their newborn into the world. Now the fun begins.

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Bonus: Nightmare Night Special

* * * *

Principal Celestia was an enigma.

Baked Bean thought over that simple statement for a moment, and then amended it. Using the word was indicated past tense, and the head administrator of Canterlot High had not changed in the entire time that he’d known her.

So, to be accurate, the sentence should be that Principal Celestia is an enigma.

When he had first met her during his job interviews, Celestia had come across as stern and uncompromising, a woman who was used to getting her way and would tolerate no dissident opinions or contrary viewpoints. She frowned a lot, she glared even more, and after a few brief conversations, Baked Bean had concluded that Vice Principal Luna would be far more personable and approachable.

Luna had certainly come across as the more courteous of the two sisters, and he had accepted the dietician position based on the fact that she would be his direct boss.

That, and the fact that he was flat broke, but that was beside the point.

Once he’d finished the orientation meetings and filled out all the paperwork, Baked Bean had thrown himself at the work, and his meal concepts had quickly caught the elder sister’s attention. Her interest in his produce had, in turn, caught his interest, and with some nudges from Luna, Bean’s relationship with Celestia had progressed from employer to acquaintance, from acquaintance to friend, and from friend to…

Baked Bean drew in a deep breath. He was still hesitant to admit his deeper feelings for the elegant woman who was walking side-by-side with him, but he couldn’t deny that he and she had become close. His affections for her had grown, little by little and day by day, and he found now that he longed to see her bright smile, to hear her soft, encouraging, and enchanting voice. Working for his parents at the family restaurant had felt something like indentured servitude, but now, he actually longed to be at work, for that meant that he would be at Canterlot High with Celestia.

But even now, Celestia still managed to surprise him. He should have realized that such would be par for the course with her after last year’s Halloween, but he secretly relished every time she revealed a little more of her true self to him.

This Halloween provided the latest in a long string of examples that he could use to illustrate his point. Since the holiday fell on a Sunday this year, Celestia had decided to hold the annual All Hallow’s Eve party for the school on Friday, thus leaving the weekend open for her students and staff to enjoy as they saw fit. She had then informed Baked Bean of a masquerade ball being held in town Saturday night, and she had invited him to attend as her guest, which he had gratefully accepted.

What she hadn’t mentioned was that the ball was being hosted and sponsored by the local Historical Reenactment Society, and she intended to attend in a period-accurate costume.

She also neglected to inform him that he needed to be dressed accurately, too, but at least she’d made up for it by supplying his evening wear.

Not that he minded how he looked, overall. His garb for the evening was much like a modern day tuxedo, but with a waistcoat, soft kid gloves, and a fine, high silk top hat to complete the look. It was surprisingly comfortable, and though it was probably a bit childish, he enjoyed pulling his pocket watch out of the front pocket and casually flicking it open to study the current position of the hands, like he really was one of the upper crust of the bygone era.

Then he had arrived at Celestia’s house to escort her to the party, and he still wasn’t sure why he hadn’t had a massive nosebleed when she’d opened the front door and revealed her selection for the evening.

She was draped in an opulent blue velvet, cut low in the front with a frilly lace and a silver bertha collar that, as she explained, was to keep from showing too much cleavage, as doing so would be far too scandalous for the time. Her skirts were layered, with one layer pulled up and pinned to her left hip to reveal a flowery second layer that extended to her ankles, and the third ruffled layer peeking out to touch the top of her feet. The outermost skirt was bustled and quite long, falling as an elegant train behind her that reminded him of a wedding gown. A pair of cream-colored, satin above the elbow gloves provided the finishing touch to her elegant and exquisite look, and when she'd reached out to take his hands in hers, the cool smoothness removed his ability to move or speak. Ever the perfectionist, Celestia had even elected to wear a tight corset to achieve the proper S-shaped silhouette, so for Bean, it was easy to be alliterative and describe her totality as simply stunning.

Even her multi hued hair had been swept up to the top of her head in a perfect replica of the old photos that Baked Bean had seen in his history books. To him, Celestia looked like she’d stepped right out of the past and into his astonished present.

Yet she didn’t look anything like one of those burlesque saloon girls from the time period. Her ensemble, her airs, her poise and her refinement was equal to, if not greater than, any princess he could possibly name.

It had taken him a few moments to remember his own name, and a few dozen more to recall how to walk and talk, though he tried not to do both at the same time, lest he get overwhelmed and fall flat on his face.

And, of course, that had only been the beginning of the entertaining surprises for the night. Bean had offered a sincere compliment on her appearance—once he was able to finally do so again—which she accepted with slight blush and a soft thanks before launching into a detailed history of women’s fashion and her interest in it. Bean was already aware of Celestia’s copious historical knowledge—it was one of her favorite subjects, and she’d put his own amatuer history buff status to shame in short order—but he’d not realized how deep and broad her studies had been.

Indeed, she had gladly informed him of the nuanced differences in fashion from year to year during the entire drive to the dance. Once they had arrived, he was pleased to see her joy when he opened her door like a true gentleman should, and he had nearly gone numb with delight when she slid her arm into his for the walk to the entrance.

Baked Bean smiled all the more as he turned his head and drank in the details of his date. Sombra truly had been the world’s greatest fool to walk out on this perfect and noble woman, and Bean’s heart yearned to be with her, to do anything he possibly could to keep her.

“Are you well, Mister Bean?” Celestia asked, her own eyes moving to meet his.

“I am very well, Miss Celestia,” he replied. “Forgive me for staring, but I admit I’m having a hard time keeping my eyes off you.”

Her laugh tickled his ears, a laugh that would warm his soul no matter the cold. “Thank you, but you are not the only one. You are quite dashing and dapper yourself.”

“Thanks to you, mostly. But thank you, too.”

Celestia looked like she would say more, but she remained silent for a moment. After a few paces, however, she tugged on his arm and brought them both to a stop.

“Forgive me, Bean, but I… well, I’d like to discuss something with you before we go inside.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“I have… let’s say I have a proposition for you,” she said with a small grin. “A proposition that I think will benefit us both.”

Bean’s heart began to hammer in his chest. “And what—” his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat “—what is this proposition of yours?”

“A proposal,” she said, her grin slowly growing. “Baked Bean, when I’m with you, I feel a sublime joy that I’ve never felt with anyone else. You came into my life when I was mired in the darkness of Sombra’s betrayal, and bit by bit, you’ve brought me back to the light and to love. I’ve… I’ve grown rather fond of you, to the point that I dread the times when we must be apart. My heart, against my initial protests and prosterations, now longs for you and the unique bliss and comfort that you bring. I want us to be together, and I believe that your heart yearns for the same thing.

“So, Mister Baked Bean,” she leaned in until the tip of her nose was touching his, “I would like to extend an offer of matrimony to you. I realize that it may be a bit unorthodox for a woman to propose marriage, but—”

Baked Bean tilted his head slightly and pressed his lips against hers. There was a brief moment of shock for both of them—if her squeak of surprise was any indication—but that almost instantaneously disappeared as the whole of existence blissfully slid into perfect insignificance. She embraced him, he embraced her, and there wasn’t a thing that could have mattered more at that moment to either of them.

There was no language that could adequately describe what they felt right then, no combination of letters or words or phrases that could give the full impact of their state of being. Time became a distant irrelevance; space nothing more than a fleeting inconvenience. There was a vain attempt by rationality to put a tidy description to the event: euphoria, bliss, contentment, completeness, rapture, exultance, joyfulness, fullness and pure love.

They were all miserable failures. The scope of the moment between Bean and Celestia was beyond transcendence itself.

When they did finally submit to reality’s rules again, the pair found themselves in the arms of one another, nose to nose and heart to heart. They both giggled, laughed, and then several quick pecks were shared between them as they celebrated this momentous occurrence.

“Who ever said that women can’t propose?” Bean playfully asked. “Celestia, I would be honored to accept your proposal. I could not ask for anything better. I will gladly spend the rest of my life with you, if only so that I may but taste the deep wellspring of love that you are willing to share with me. I will give you all that I have, all that I am, and together, we will experience all of life’s joys together. It would give me the greatest pleasure to be known as your husband.”

“Good answer,” Celestia replied, her smile as bright as the midday sun as tears rolled down her cheeks. “Thank you, Bean.”

The newly engaged couple embraced again, but it was interrupted by a low, hearty hum that rose from deep within Bean’s chest.

“What is it?” Celestia asked.

“You, my love, are quite the enigma,” Bean said, his arm wrapping around her waist and her arm wrapping around his. “I can’t wait to see what other surprises you have in store for me.”

* * * *