• Published 22nd Sep 2021
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New Noses To Know - Irrespective



Baked Bean and Princess Celestia have welcomed their newborn into the world. Now the fun begins.

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11. - Velvet Midnight

* * * *

Lieutenant Velvet Midnight was quite pleased with herself.

Of course, she couldn’t take full credit for the day’s success. The Eternal Meddlers of the Day and Night may have ‘suggested’ that the Captain of the Guard should be tolerant and accepting of thestral customs and traditions, so it was fairly easy to secure the concessions Velvet wanted for her bat ponies. It also helped that she wasn’t asking for anything extreme. Her requests for new lunar armor and accommodations for thestral sleeping habits were easy enough to accept.

And, in return, she was willing to give a little back to the Captain. Professionally, that is.

“So, how many thestrals would you like to have available for active duty, sir?” she asked, lobbing the question in as naturally as she could. She had practiced the phrasing for long hours to get just the right inflection, not too arrogant and not too subservient. Just a polite peer-to-peer exchange between military equals, nothing more, nothing less.

Captain Armor leaned back in his chair and mulled the question over for a moment. “I would like to double the number here in Canterlot for starters. I want to start sending thestral night patrols out into the city while maintaining a strong presence here in the palace proper. Will that put too much of a strain on the available horsepower?”

Lieutenant Midnight shook her head. “I had planned on using reserve units to fulfill Princess Luna and Princess Celestia’s request to send thestrals out into Equestria, sir. I can send them out on two week assignments, then rotate them into Palace detail.”

“I’ll leave you to handle that, then. The night is yours. Just keep me in the loop.”

“As always, sir.”

Captain Armor nodded. “Have you selected anypony for Prince Bean’s escort?”

And this was where the exchange could get dicey. She wasn’t scheming against the diarchy, although it could easily be seen that way. There was dire need for intelligence on which way to jump in the next few months, and the best way to get that knowledge was by direct observation. “With your permission, sir, I would like to take the post myself, for the time being.”

One eyebrow slid up. “Oh? That seems to be overgunning the position, putting a prime administrator into a simple guarding assignment. Besides, aren’t you a bit busy with everything that needs to be done for your enclave?”

“It would be a temporary posting, sir. Just until I can settle on an ideal candidate. I believe I can handle my administrative tasks on top of standing still in a hallway.”

“All right,” he said with a shrug. “Until I hear otherwise, you’re on Beanwatch.”

Velvet Midnight was fully aware of all the different ways subordinates tried to hide when things were going sideways, and Shining Armor had several subtle reactions that raised a note of concern in Velvet’s ongoing plans. “Are you worried, Captain?” she inquired, choosing to be direct. Sometimes, subtle hints deserved a good sledgehammer to the face in order to get some answers.

“Not… so much,” admitted Shining Armor. “Princess Celestia has been under a lot of strain lately, and I’d like to keep things quiet for all our sakes. Bean’s been a great help in that regard, but still. Try not to pull rank on poor Sergeants Hokey Pokey and Clover Leaf too much, will you? Pokey especially. He’s already got Chrysalis breathing down his neck. Literally.”

“I will never understand what those two see in each other, sir. But I’ll behave and let them keep tactical control while I’m with them. I’m just an observer, nothing more.”

“Didn’t I just say play nice?” Captain Armor said with a sly smirk. “You know as well as anypony how badly a ‘simple observer’ stresses out the enlisted troops.”

“I promise to be as calm and peaceful as Mare’s Night Out at Trigger’s bar, sir. Cross my heart, hope to fly, put a cupcake in my eye,” Lieutenant Midnight smarmed back.

“Fine. Anything else we need to discuss? Cady has an appointment with Doctor Horsenpfeffer in a few minutes, so make it quick.”

“One last thing, sir. I’d like to request a small addition to the lunar guard’s approved uniform.”

“And that is?”

“Sunglasses, sir. Given that we are nocturnal, and that our eyes are adapted to low light environments, having thestrals out in that horribly bright sun will put quite the strain on them.”

Captain Armor adopted a playful, dubious look. “Funny, you’ve never mentioned this problem to me in the past. Is that nasty ol’ sun really so bad all of a sudden, or do I detect some vanity at play?”

“C’mon, Cap’n. You gotta admit, we thestrals look twenty percent cooler in shades.” Velvet Midnight bobbed her eyebrows. “Besides, it’s traditional.”

“My left hock it is,” Shining snorted, but then he glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. “I should make you come up with a better excuse than that, but I’m over a barrel here. Request granted, but keep them simple and tasteful.”

“Of course, sir. Thank you, sir. That’s all I have for now.”

“Good. Touch base with me in a week.” Shining stood and escorted the Lieutenant out of his office.

“Yes, sir. Please let me know how Princess Cadence is doing, if you don’t mind. There’s been a surprising amount of interest from the enclave about the Crystal Empire. You really don’t want to know about the groupies. Or the fanfiction. There’s at least a dozen of us who are ready to move there at the drop of a hat.”

“It'll probably be a normal, boring prenatal checkup, but I’ll let you know. Dismissed, Lieutenant.”

“Sir.” Velvet Midnight saluted, then turned towards the kitchen. Odds were Prince Bean would be there, and if not, she could order lunch all the same, then resume her search after a hearty meal.

Being the mayor of the batpony enclave and a full-time Lieutenant burned a lot of calories, after all.

Velvet Midnight was actually looking forward to sitting down with the Prince for his requested interview, and she idly wondered what questions he might have for her in return. They would mirror those of the general population, most likely, and the fact that Baked Bean was the one asking would only drive up interest more. Interest would then lead to understanding, and thus, would greatly aid everypony in adjusting to one another. He was in a critical position, despite his relatively ordinary nature, and from Shining Armor’s concern about Princess Celestia, he might not be holding his own in the marriage quite as well as one might hope.

That could be a disaster, both for Equestria in general and her people in specific.

Understanding and acceptance from everypony would be the greatest challenges of the whole reintegration process, in her estimation.

“Excuse me, but are you allowed to be here?” A surly voice cut into her musings, and she turned to the intruder with a diplomatic smile.

It was a pony who Velvet had been looking forward to meeting for a long time, perhaps even getting her autograph after a performance, but she was determined to ‘play it cool’ in respect to both of their positions. “I am, Miss Lulamoon. Can I help you with something?”

The surprised secretary took a wary step back. “How do you know Trixie’s name?”

“Please. How would I not know of the legendary exploits of the Great and Powerful Trixie? You are a living legend amongst my kin.”

The Ever-Humble and Totally Not Self-Absorbed Trixie visibly swelled with pride. “Really? Trixie does not remember visiting your village.”

Okay, so Velvet was stretching the truth just a tad, but she wasn’t going to admit to it. If Trixie was well-known, it was because of her numerous defeats to Princess Twilight Sparkle. “Ah, but we’ve heard of you all the same. Element of Pride, Defeater of Tirek, and the exclusive secretary to Prince Baked Bean? Why, it’s a crime if a pony does not know of you!”

And a little butter to grease the wheels of bureaucracy never hurts. Trixie should be able to point me in Prince Bean’s direction.

Trixie beamed with delight, and polished a hoof on her chest. “Well, naturally. Trixie is a very important pony, after all.”

“And if you really believe all that, I have a bridge to sell you,” a third voice cut in. “Cutting it a bit thick, aren’t we Miss Midnight?”

Velvet Midnight was all smiles as Discord slithered out of a nearby stained-glass window. “And good morning to you. It’s nice to see you again.”

Trixie was obviously upset, and kept looking between Discord and Velvet like she expected to see a string. “You two have met?”

“Once,” Velvet replied. “Discord dropped in when he was first released from stone and thought it would be hilarious to send a plague of flying vampire fruit at us. We were a bit startled when our mangoes grew fangs and tried to attack us, but in the end, my enclave loved chasing down the succulent little morsels, and it was oh-so delightful when they’d scream in agony as we bit into them.”

Trixie looked horrified, but Discord merely huffed, “I should have known better. I’ll just have to try harder when I visit next.”

“I sincerely hope you do. Is there something we can do for you?”

“My dear Lieutenant, the real question is what can moi do for vous?” Discord slithered over and threw a paw over Velvet’s withers. “The return of the thestrals should be wonderfully chaotic, so I’m willing to grant a favor in advance, as a show of goodwill.” Under his breath, he added, “And because Bean-o and Fluttershy say I should be nice.”

“Really? That’s quite generous of you. I’ll have to think it over. I promise I won’t ask for anything too boring.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at tea with Fluttershy and the Prince?” Trixie interrupted, flipping through the pages on her clipboard. “That’s what the schedule says.”

“Schedules,” scoffed Discord with a sharp glance at the clipboard where the various words and letters had begun to fight among themselves. “Boor-ring! I was just on my way there when a thought occurred to me.”

Discord reached inside his vest, rummaged around for a moment, and came out with a small cloud upon which was written ‘A Thought.’ He presented it to Velvet with a flourish. “Normally they're a penny, but this one is free. Anyway, I just had to stop by and check on Bean-o’s new guard first. It would be simply awkward if there was some sort of misunderstanding.”

“Why would that happen?” Velvet asked. “My thestral troops have kept me informed of what goes on here. I know all about your unique relationship with the Prince and Princess.”

“One can never be too careful,” Discord replied. He lowered his voice, looked up and down the corridor, then whispered from behind his paw. “Especially since the clown cake incident.”

Trixie shuddered. “That was not a happy clown.”

“But since we’ve come to an understanding, I’ll be on my way.” Discord announced. “Don’t do anything too crazy while I’m gone. I’d hate to miss it. Oh! One last thing. I hear you’ve been approved for an addition to your official uniform. Consider this as a gift from me to you, in recognition of the return of your enclave.”

With a snap, the Lord of Chaos produced a reflective light purple visor that wrapped around a pony's eyes, providing protection from flying projectiles and solar rays. Velvet took the offering with a pleased expression, and looked it over carefully. “It’s like you read my mind, Discord. I’ll make sure every night guard gets a pair.”

And with that, Discord imploded into a pinprick of nothingness with a cheerful laugh.

“Trixie will never get used to that,” Trixie murmured, and she gave Velvet a curious glance as the Lieutenant tucked Discord's gift into her saddlebag. “And what did you mean that your guards keep you in the loop? Trixie has never met a thestral before.”


“Sure you have.” Velvet produced a pair of round, stylish sunglasses, slid them on, and took in her reflection in the stained glass window that Discord had emerged from. She definitely liked what she saw. “You’ve met Private Lemon Tart, after all.”

“Private Tart is a thestral?” Trixie recoiled. “She can’t be! She’s a pegasus!”

“All thestrals are pegasi,” Velvet countered. “Just like all kirin are unicorns.”

“Who?”

“Never mind. Point is, Private Tart looks like a regular solar guard thanks to the look-alike enchantment of her armor. Trust me, she’s been dying to switch to her lunar attire. Isn’t that right, Private?”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself, ma’am,” the private in question replied, and Trixie yelped in surprise. “In fact, I’ve already changed.”

“You really need to quit doing that to Trixie.” Trixie drew in a deep breath, and glanced over Private Lemon Tart’s new look. Lemon’s face was still familiar, but now her eyes glittered with a golden hue, her coat was a soft shade of dark gray, and her wings had a hint of green along their trailing edge. The gleaming dark purple armor of the night guard completed the look, but it was still a strange sight for the secretary. “This is going to take some getting used to,” she continued, her eyes drifting over her escort’s extended leathery bat wings and lingering for a moment.

“I certainly hope not. Private Lemon Tart is still the same pony she’s always been, after all.” Velvet passed over Discord’s reflective sunglasses for Lemon to try on. “Just… pointy-er. And shinier now.”

“I, for one, am glad that the thestrals are able to be themselves,” Princess Celestia agreed from behind them, prompting a quick bow from Velvet, but not Trixie.

Inwardly, Velvet chided herself for allowing Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to sneak up on her. A Royal Guard was never surprised, and as a lieutenant, she was supposed to set an example for the troops. Granted, it was difficult to keep ahead of royals—Luna especially, given her skills with shadows and darkness—but that was the job, after all.

“As am I,” Princess Luna added. “My Soldiers of the Night should never be ashamed of who they are, nor should they ever feel compelled to hide it. They will now stand before Equestria in their appointed place, strong and proud.”

“Good morning, Your Highnesses,” Velvet offered, catching sight of a small wiggling colt in Celestia’s neck-mounted foal carrier. The infant prince was bright-eyed and alert, looking like he’d been stuffed full of sugar and energy, barely restrained within his carrier. “A pleasure to see you both again, as always. And it appears I am to be graced with the presence of Prince Apollo today, as well! This is an honor.”

“I certainly hope you’re not going to do that every time you see Us,” Celestia quipped with a mischievous look. “Our interactions are going to be quite frequent for some time, I believe. It will be quite repetitive if you keep bowing and groveling.”

“Ah, so that’s why Miss Lulamoon can get away without offering due deference.” Velvet met Celestia’s gaze with a smirk. She paused briefly as she noticed the ill-hidden dark circles under Princess Celestia’s eyes. From a distance, the makeup she wore would hide the darkness, but up close, the coverage was not adequate. “Perhaps I will be as relaxed as she is in your presence, with time.”

“I understand you’ve nominated yourself to guard my husband,” Celestia went on. Velvet noted the slight hint of weakness in the diarch’s voice as the foursome fell into step together and progressed down the corridor, but she said nothing of it. “An interesting selection.”

“I wonder who told you that?” Velvet joked. She was not surprised when Discord’s head popped out of a nearby vase.

“Guilty!” he sang, giving Apollo a quick pat on the head before vanishing once more.

“We presume this is a temporary appointment until you can assess the situation and select the appropriate thestral?” Luna asked in a fashion that most certainly was not a question.

Velvet nodded. “I should have a final decision in short order, ma’am.”

“Provided the task will not interfere with your other duties, We approve,” Luna proclaimed, but with a concerned glance to Celestia, who nodded.

“Thank you, ma’am. Having the full support of the Diarchy will be most helpful.”

“My husband will be away for another hour or so, but he is eager to meet with you,” informed Celestia. “In the meantime, there are a few things We would like to discuss with you, if you can spare the time.”

“Of course.” Velvet said, musing that there wasn’t a pony in Equestria who would not spare time to talk with any Princess.

“Excellent,” said Luna. “My sister and I wish to begin the integration process immediately. There is much to accomplish.”

* * * *

Velvet Midnight was feeling quite pleased, indeed.

She had expected Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to be very accommodating to her thestrals, but not to the degree that had just been exhibited in their impromptu meeting. The Diarchs of Equestria were willing to move the sun and the moon—in a figurative way—to make the transition easier, and the long-hidden bat ponies were to receive every possible accommodation one could think of, and many that she hadn’t.

As things stood now, all the thestrals had to do was ask, and it would be given.

But the enclave would not abuse that generosity. Princess Celestia had respected their wishes and desires for a thousand years, and for that, the thestrals were deeply and eternally grateful. They would, individually and without any prompting, keep their requests simple, straightforward, and with as little inconvenience to others as possible.

It was the least they could do, particularly with as much strain as the princess was under lately.

Velvet began to whistle a pleasant tune to herself, and she glanced over the air carriages in the main hangar of the palace. Prince Baked Bean was due to arrive back at any moment, and after such a good day, she was eager to sit down with the Prince, answer his questions, and keep the good feeling going.

Her pleased grin grew into a full smile when she glanced over at Trixie and Private Lemon Tart, who were chatting about Tart’s life in the enclave. From the sound of it, Trixie wanted to bring her awe-inspiring and death-defying magic show to the batponies, since they were an audience she was unfamiliar with, and, more importantly, an audience that was unaware of the more dubious parts of her past.

It was an avenue for further rehabilitation of her image, and she was going to exploit it for all it was worth.

“Looks like your bats are starting to befriend the locals already,” a chaotic voice offered from her left.

“And I’m very grateful for that.” Velvet turned to Discord and dipped her head. “I take it teatime is over?”

“Sadly, but only because we ran out of tea cakes and scones. Bean-o promised to make more for me.” Discord popped open the carpetbag he was holding, then rummaged through it with his paw. “I think I left a Baked Bean in here somewhere. Let me see, let me see…”

The Lord of Chaos stuck his tongue out slightly as he rustled, clanked, and honked whatever was in his bag. “I thought I left him over by the radishes. Bean?” Discord withdrew his paw, and recoiled slightly when he found he was holding one changeling queen by the nape of her neck, instead of one yellow stallion.

“DISCORD!” Chrysalis hissed sharply. “What are you doing?!”

“Wrong pocket!” Discord stuffed Chrysalis back in the bag quickly, then rummaged around more. “I really must clean this out sometime. It’s impossible to find anything with all of those old receipts and breath mint containers in here. Bean?” He withdrew his paw again, and jingled the set of keys he was holding. “I’ve been looking for those.” He tossed them back in, and resumed his search. “Bean?” He withdrew a can of baked beans, which he tossed over shoulder. “Closer, but still no. He's in here somewhere, I know he is. This is ridiculous. No, no, no. That’s a Hokey Pokey,” he muttered as he pulled said guard out and put him down. “And that… Yes, that should be a Clover Leaf.” He put Clover down next to Hokey, and the pair exchanged eyerolls as Discord stuck his head in the bag. “Bean! You and I are going to have a talk if you’ve gotten into my perfume!”

There was some sort of muffled response from inside, and the bag jerked slightly.

“Oh, for the love of Fluttershy, what are you doing over there?” Discord put both of his arms in, and tsk’ed as he finally produced the prince. “Didn’t I tell you not to snoop?”

“Hey, it’s not every day that I get to explore a bottomless bag,” Prince Bean retorted, flicking away some stray papers from his barrel and withers. “Do I want to know about the—”

“No, you do not. Trust me. Besides, the good Lieutenant Mayor here has been waiting for you.”

“Lieutenant Velvet Midnight, Your Highness.” Velvet spread her wings and bowed in deference. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Oh!” Prince Bean practically squeaked in delight. “Good afternoon, Lieutenant! The pleasure is mine. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.”

“I am at your disposal, my Prince.” Velvet straightened, and nodded to Bean’s guard detail. “Sergeants.”

“Ma’am!” Both saluted crisply.

“At ease. I’m eager to speak with you as well, Your Highness.”

“I’ll stop by later for those tea cakes, Bean-o,” Discord interrupted. “I can see this will take awhile.”

“Thanks for the ride back, Discord,” Prince Bean said. “We're still on for next Tuesday?”

“Count on it. Toodles!”

Discord disappeared in a puff of smoke, and the prince began bouncing on the tips of his hooves like a foal waiting to dive into Hearth’s Warming presents. “So, Lieutenant, do you have some time to speak with me? Or would it be better to schedule a later time? I’m sure you must be busy with your duties as Mayor and a Lieutenant in the guard.”

“I am free now, Your Highness. With your permission, I would like to join your guard detail until I can determine which thestral should be assigned to you. And don’t look so worried, Sergeants,” she added, looking at Prince Bean’s loyal guards. “I’m just along for the ride.”

“That’s what they always say,” Clover murmured. “Ma’am.”

“I’ll go over the specifics with you two later. My Prince, do I have your permission?”

“Of course! You’re welcome to join the party whenever you want, and I’ll understand if you need to step away to take care of other matters.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

“But one thing,” he said as they began to walk. “I’m too short for that Highness stuff. Just ‘sir’ is fine.”

“Of course, Sir.”

“Let’s head to the nursery first. I want to check in with Celly; make sure she and Apollo don’t need anything.”

“After you, Sir.”

It only took a moment for the Prince to find his wife and to verify that all was well before Apollo was left to Banana Split’s excellent care. Obviously, Princess Celestia wanted to listen in on Prince Bean’s questions and to add her insights if needed, yet she gave her son a longing look over her flanks as they left the nursery. It was as if Princess Celestia was afraid this was all a dream, and she was going to wake up at any moment.

The party proceeded to Princess Celestia’s drawing room, and Velvet made sure to thank the royal couple for their kindness as they all settled in on the plush velvet pillows that awaited royal and mayoral posteriors.


“So, you’re both the mayor of the thestral enclave and a lieutenant in the guard?” Bean wasted no time, and Velvet chuckled slightly at his enthusiasm.

“Yes, sir. I assure you that I am quite capable of handling both responsibilities.”

“How long have you been the Mayor? Forgive me if this is a bit insensitive, but you look like you’re about the same age as me.”

“I am, and I have been the Mayor for a few years,” responded Velvet. “I took over the position when my mother decided to retire.”

“Really?” Prince Bean produced a notebook, took a well-chewed pencil in his mouth (eliciting a small annoyed sigh from his wife), and flipped to a blank page. “Is the mayor position a matrilineal primogeniture, then?”

“Yes and no.” This was an interesting way to start, but it pleased Velvet greatly. If he was asking intelligent questions that were this in-depth right at the beginning, then his inquiries were sure to be exceptionally informative to any future readers. “The position of mayor is an elected position, but no one outside of my family has ever attempted to run. I don’t know how it ended up like that, to be honest. So, every six years, we have an election just to formalize everything, but my family has held the position since the beginning of our exile, to the best of my knowledge.”

Bean scribbled furiously. “Do all of the batponies live in the enclave?”

“Apart from those currently serving in the royal guard and a few on distant sentinel duty, all thestrals live in the enclave at the moment. With Princess Luna’s summons, I don’t expect that to continue. My thestrals have been all excited about getting out and ‘spreading their wings,’ so to say.”

Bean glanced at Celestia in confusion. “There’s thestrals in the royal guard? Who?”

“Private Lemon Tart would be the only one that you have directly met,” Celestia clarified. “Apart from her, there’s about a dozen. Prior to now, they were all under the look-alike enchantment that made them appear to be regular solar guards, but beginning tonight, they will appear as they truly are, and in their lunar armor.”

“That’s so cool! I’d like to meet them, if I can.”

“I’ll make the arrangements, Sir,” Velvet said with a nod. “They will be pleased to meet you as well.”

For the next hour, Lieutenant Velvet cheerfully answered all of Prince Bean’s questions. He was surprisingly thorough with his inquiries, asking about history, culture, significant holidays, and even mundane things like favorite meals. He was also quick to ask follow up questions when something confused him, and Velvet appreciated his thoughtfulness.

However, Velvet also sensed an undercurrent of tension that seemed to grow as the session continued. She couldn’t be quite sure, but it seemed like Princess Celestia was, perhaps, a bit put out and annoyed. There wasn’t really a reason for the daytime diarch to be so, and her overt body language indicated that she was simply listening as Bean directed all of his questions to Velvet.

But therein was why Velvet thought something was amiss. Princess Celestia was not one to snort or paw at the ground when irked like Princess Luna was wont to do. Rather, the elder sister typically signaled her displeasure by doing nothing at all, an extremely unusual state for the mare who was, figuratively and literally, involved with nearly everything under her sun.

It was definitely something she would ask Sergeants Hokey Pokey and Clover Leaf about later.

Once all of Prince Bean’s questions had been covered, both prince and princess thanked Velvet for her insights, and she was excused while Bean went on to pepper his wife with questions about what she remembered about thestrals and when they had banished themselves. Velvet took in a deep breath, glanced at the sergeants standing watch on either side of the closed door, and nodded to them after they saluted.

“At ease,” Velvet ordered. “Let’s discuss my role for Beanwatch, shall we?”

“Yes ma’am,” Hokey and Clover answered.

“I’ve discussed this with Captain Armor, and we agree that I will be a simple observer. Tactical control will remain with you, since I’ll come and go as needed for other things. While with you, I’ll follow your lead, and unless I need to, I won’t override your orders. Just pretend like I’m not here, and don’t worry about me reporting back to the Captain about your every move and decision. He trusts you, and so do I.”

“Understood, ma’am.”

“Good. Now, I’ve got some time before I need to go make sure my thestrals are ready to take their first night watch. Fill me in on the finer points of foalsitting Prince Bean.”

Sergeant Pokey glanced at Sergeant Leaf, and they shared a knowing look. “How long do you have, ma’am? This could take awhile.”

“As long as needed, Sergeants.” Velvet’s smile grew thin. “Then we need to discuss what’s bothering Princess Celestia, and what we can do to help.”

* * * *