> New Noses To Know
>  by Irrespective
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> 1.- The New Arrival
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✹ * * 


“So, you finally made it. Welcome to the family, Apollo.”

Duke Garbanzo Bean smiled to the bundled newborn cradled in his foreleg, his steps slow and even so as not to disturb the new prince’s sleep. Or the sleeping royals in the corner of the nursery, either. The last twenty four hours had been a wild ride of emotional events, but now that his surprise grandson was here, Garbanzo was filled with a sublime joy that could only be compared to when he had held Baked Bean for the first time.

The proud grandfather groaned slightly as he eased into the plush rocking chair, and his mind drifted over what had happened as he began to gently rock. Of course, the little stinker in his care had to come early, so when word came to the Zuerst that Princess Celestia had given birth in a train car, there had been a mild panic and a semi-frantic rush to Canterlot, but thankfully, somepony had the foresight to send an air carriage and a pair of Wonderbolts to expedite the trip. By the time he and Lima had arrived, the new mother and her son had been checked out by Doctor Horsenpfeffer and given a clean bill of health, but both she and Baked Bean were exhausted, so the grandparents had offered to watch over him while they got some much-needed rest.

Lima, of course, had then absconded with her grandchild with a maniacal laugh, and she had clucked and fussed over him through last night and for most of the day. The only reason she relinquished control for short periods of time was for Apollo’s feedings, because Lima had neither the ability or the desire to nurse again.

It was fitting that Apollo was a colt, in a funny sort of way. Lima had insisted Baked would be a girl as well, so it made sense to Garbanzo that Baked would experience the same thing. But colt or filly didn’t really matter, in the end. What mattered was that Apollo was healthy and no worse off for coming early.

Then again, he probably had to come early. To the best of Garbanzo’s recollection, Baked had been half the size of Apollo, and with much less hair. Even Princess Celestia, the largest mare in all the land, only had so much space to incubate.

“Sweetie? Do you need me to take over for you?”

Garbanzo glanced up, and he wiggled slightly in the chair while sharing a kiss with his wife. “No way. It’s my turn now, and I’m not giving him up so easily.”

“Rats. Are you sure?” she whined with a small pout.

“I’m sure,” he said with a smirk. 

“I know where you sleep, you know.” Dutchess Lima Bean stepped to the side of his chair. “How’s our little Bean doing?”

Garbanzo’s gaze went with hers to the small bundle he was cradling in his forehooves. “Sleeping at the moment. I changed his diaper already, so he should be good for a little while. Hopefully the new parents can get some sleep, too.”

Lima nodded. “They’re going to need it, especially if Apollo has a set of pipes like his father had.” Her hoof nudged the blanket away from her grandson’s face. “Oh, but look at him. He looks exactly like Baked, doesn’t he?”

The proud grandfather took a moment to study his grandson’s cherubic visage, and a contented grin came to his features. “If not for his eyes and the horn—and the size, of course—I’d swear I was holding Baked right now. It’s uncanny how similar they are.”

“He’ll be a lady killer too, just like his father and his grandfather.” Lima planted a kiss on Garbanzo’s cheek. “You do realize we’ll have to spoil him rotten, right?”

“Naturally, but that may prove to be a bit difficult, given who his mother is.”

Lima scoffed. “Please. She may bring the day and run the country, but there are limits for even Princess Celestia. All we have to do is say ‘yes’ when she says ‘no.’ Nothing to it.”

Garbanzo chuckled. “I’ll leave you to it, then. I know better than to interfere with your schemes. Our kitchen is going to smell of chocolate chip cookies and cinnamon buns from here on in.”

“Whoever heard of a grandma’s kitchen without them?” Lima said proudly.

“I do hope you will accept some assistance,” a rich velveteen voice interrupted, but both grandparents didn’t mind the intrusion. “I, for one, have retribution for my sister that is a thousand years overdue.”

“I suppose that all depends on what your retribution entails,” Garbanzo said with a smirk as Princess Luna entered the nursery and approached.  

“Oh, I am sure you could both accurately guess my intents,” Luna said while fawning over the new foal. “But it is only fair I repay Celly for those naughty little ‘suggestions’ she gave to my Twilight Starbright all those years ago. This little one, however—” she paused to kiss Apollo’s forehead “—will forever have his aunt’s undying love and praise. The spoiling will last forever, and will most likely be doubled, too.”

“As it should be,” Lima added. 

“I must admit, my nephew’s birth has given me quite the eclectic collection of feelings,” Luna's dark eyes filled with awe and reverence, and a very possessive look crossed her face. “I had feared, for a time, that his birth would fill me with remorse for what I have lost, but instead, I find a delightful infusion of happiness and pride. I see him, and I can see nothing but the bright and glorious future that now lies before him. With my sister for a mother and your son as a father, Pollie is sure to be one of the greats in Equestria. With some help from his aunt, of course.”

“Of course,” Lima agreed.

“How are the other Beans doing? Are they behaving themselves?” Garbanzo asked.

“Most admirably, yes,” said Luna. “Trixie is tending to their needs, and I am sure they will overrun the kitchen in short order for dinner. I believe Flageolet mentioned something about staying for a month, at the least.”

“That sounds about right. Thanks for letting them crash here in the palace.”

Luna let out a good-natured scoff. “‘Tis no trouble. Lentil suggested turning the evening into a sleepover to the younger cousins, so they will stay up until dawn anyway. There is no shortage of helpers for Apollo, and we may need to draw lots to determine who has the next turn with him.”

“Just make sure you leave Trixie out of the selection process,” Trixie added from the doorway. “Trixie is a secretary, not a foalsitter.”

“Oh, come now, Miss Lulamoon,” Luna said with a smile. “After helping my sister in childbirth, I should think foalsitting would be easy.”

“Not for all the bits in the treasury,” Trixie firmly insisted as she entered. “Trixie and children do not get along. At all. Besides, Trixie is busy enough with her duties as is. Are Their Highnesses still asleep?”

“For the moment, yes.” Luna pointed to the corner where Bean and Celestia had collapsed in a large, intermingled heap of exhausted parent. “I suppose you could wake them, but I would advise against doing so unless the matter is urgent.”

“Oh.” Trixie glanced to her clipboard, up to Celestia, then back again. “Well, maybe this is something you can deal with, Princess Luna. Sparkle just sent a letter saying she needs to talk to Celestia about something that just happened in Ponyville. It looks like somepony named Starlight Glimmer returned? The name is unknown to Trixie, but perhaps you know who she is.”

“Starlight?” Luna let out a small note of surprise. “I do know of her, though we have not met. I am surprised you do not recall the name; she was the one who was stealing cutie marks and forcing ponies to be equal in all things.”

“Oh, that’s who that is?” Trixie replied. “Trixie heard a little bit about her from Miss Wysteria, but not anything in the last few months.”

“Starlight Glimmer has been on the run, so to speak. I wonder why she has reappeared now, and what has happened.” Luna tapped her chin in thought for a moment. “I suppose there is only one way to know for sure. Miss Trixie, please send a reply to Twilight Sparkle and inform her that I will be arriving within the hour to discuss the matter. Do not trouble yourself with preparing a carriage; I will take care of that. Should I not return by nightfall, inform my sister of these things and tell her I will raise the moon from Ponyville.”

Trixie nodded, her quill springing to life in her magic. “Right away, Your Highness.”

“Forgive my sudden departure, Duke and Duchess Bean,” Luna went on. “Even now, duty calls.”

“We totally understand, Your Highness,” Garbanzo replied. “Especially for something like a cutie mark thief. I’m sure we’ll still be here when you get back.”

“Until tonight, then.” Luna dipped her head, kissed Apollo’s forehead, and then left with a hum of glee. 

Lima drew in a long breath while the Princess departed, and she gave a worried look to Trixie. “I didn’t know it was possible to steal cutie marks! What a dreadful thought.”

“As Trixie recalls, Starlight only stole the cutie marks from Sparkle and her friends,” Trixie replied. “In a way, that is. The other ponies were enticed to give up their marks with flattery and lies. I don’t remember how they got them back, but it was Sparkle who restored them, the show-off.”

“Oh?” One of Lima’s eyebrows slid upward. “And this from the mare who used an ancient amulet to boost her magic, just so she could get some revenge?”

“You heard about that?” Trixie squeaked, but then she coughed and straightened her secretarial collar. “Trixie refuses to discuss that little ‘incident.’ That was a younger and much stupider Trixie. This Trixie has moved beyond such petty grievances. Even if Sparkle did deserve it.” Trixie huffed, her horn flaring with magic to send the letter. 

“Sure,” Garbanzo said with a roll of his eyes. 

“Well, I, for one, thought the whole thing was hilarious!” another voice cut in, and with a flash, Discord floated into the room. “Of course, I didn’t get to actually see any of it, since I was still paying off my debt to society at the time, but I wish I had! The look that must have been on your face when you found out how Twilight bested you!”

“Oh, great,” Trixie grumbled. “Why are you here, Discord?”

“What? Am I not allowed to drop in and see the spawn of my favorite chaos creator?” he asked with a hurt look. “Really, Miss Trixie. I thought we’d worked past our differences by now.”

“You actually want to see the little messmaker?” Trixie asked.

“Of course! Bean has nearly talked one of my wings off about how excited he was to be a father at our tea dates, even though he thought he was having a daughter. This kid is causing all sorts of wondrous chaos right from the beginning! The little spud is sure to be a fountain of fun. He just needs a little encouragement and training, that’s all. I do hope Celestia added those chaos theory classes I mentioned to his schedule.” 

“Chaos theory?” Lima asked. 

“Oh, don’t worry, my little Babooshka.” Discord donned a pair of bifocals and slipped into a tweed jacket with patches on the elbows. “I always ensure the well-being of my students, first and foremost. All of my lectures will be supervised, and the experiments will be carried out in a controlled environment. Besides, Celestia would rip my horns off if I let anything happen… to…”

The draconequus trailed off as he took a good look at Apollo, who whimpered a bit and wiggled before settling back down. A deeply contemplative look came over him, and for what was probably the first time in his existence, it seemed like Discord had nothing to say.

“Would you like to hold him?” Garbanzo asked. 

“I’ve never held a newborn before,” Discord whispered. “I don’t want to break him.”

“You won’t break him. Just mind his head, and don’t make any sudden movements.” Garbanzo stood, reared up, and held out Apollo. “Here. Tuck his head into the crook of your arm, just… there. Just like that. Keep your paw under him for support, and you’re good to go.”

“I never realized foals were so small,” Discord said, his magic conjuring up a rocking chair that was more to his size and floating a few feet in the air. 

“Small? That kid is huge!” Trixie countered with an uncomfortable swallow and the rub of one hoof across her tummy, as if she was reliving the birth all over again.

“Good thing Celestia carried him then,” Garbanzo quipped. 

“They get smaller than this?” Discord asked, his chair wheezing like an asthmatic duck with each rock from side to side. 
 
“Usually, yes,” Lima replied. “But then, most mothers are nowhere near the size of Celestia, so it makes sense.”

“So, when mares… y’know. Conceive,” Discord said with a cough. “She… huh. Her foal would be even smaller.”

Trixie chortled with a wicked grin. “I didn’t know you were planning on starting a family, Discord.”

“Me? What? No!” The rocking chair disappeared, and Apollo was passed back to Garbanzo quickly but with care. “I’m not planning on anything of the sort! Fluttershy and I are just good friends. Where did you get such a crazy idea?”

“I didn’t say anything about Fluttershy,” Trixie dryly replied with a bob of her eyebrows.

“I was merely speaking in a hypothetical sense, of course. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some very important… um, things! Yes. Things to take care of. Tootle-oo!”

And with that, Discord was gone. Trixie chortled more as Garbanzo settled into his chair again, and Lima simply shook her head. “He’ll come around, eventually.”

“Forgive Trixie for being a naysayer, but Discord becoming a father is just as likely as me becoming a mother,” Trixie replied. “It’ll never happen.”

“Never say never,” Lima replied in a knowing tone.

“Anyway, Trixie has some other tasks to complete,” Trixie went on. “I’ll leave you with the little bundle of joy. I’m sure he’ll be a delightful ball of screeching headache inducer soon enough.”

“Perhaps.”

“Let Trixie know if you need anything,” Trixie went on. “Or, better yet, tell one of the guards. Trixie is doing both my job and Miss Wysteria’s, so I have twice the amount of work to get done. The less demands, the better.”

“I think we’ll be fine, but if not, we’ll just catch Sergeant Clover Leaf. Thank you, Miss Trixie.”

With a nod, Trixie left, and Lima chuckled. “So, who hasn’t wandered in yet? Cadence and Shining Armor? The Element Bearers? Prince Blueblood?”

“Wasn’t he off with the yaks?” Garbanzo asked. “I thought that’s what Baked said. Something about reestablishing an embassy or something. I can’t keep track of everything he tells us, to be honest. I don’t know how he keeps it all straight.”

“Celestia, of course.”

Garbanzo rolled his eyes. “Right. Of course.”

“If I may, Your Graces,” Sergeant Clover Leaf interjected, “but may I note that His Highness actually manages to keep things organized quite well without his wife’s help.”

“Ah, we forgot about the guards,” Lima said. “How’d you even sneak in here, anyway?”

“Trade secret, ma’am,” she said with a perfectly straight face. “We get a bonus in our paychecks for every successful stealth approach, however.”

“That does not surprise me in the slightest,” said Garbanzo.

“I was sent by Chef Sugar Beet to ask what you would like for your evening meal,” Sergeant Clover went on. “If your family doesn’t run her out of the kitchen again, of course.”

“Oh, she doesn’t have to bother with us,” Lima said. “I’ll head down and get something whipped up for Garby and myself.”

“Very well, ma’am.” Clover Leaf dipped her head. “I’ll go check on the other Beans and see if they will make their own meals as well.”

“Just something light for me, dear,” Garbanzo said as the two mares began to leave. “A small sandwich, maybe.”

Lima blew her husband a kiss. “I know just the thing. Be right back.”

Garbanzo watched Lima’s fabulous rear while she left before turning his attention back to his grandson. “Yup, no doubt about it. Being born into this family makes you one lucky Bean, indeed.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


Princess Luna fought to keep her face impassive as she marched towards the main hangar of the palace. To be sure, the business with Starlight Glimmer was serious—though she did not yet know what the business even was—and she needed to arrive with the proper airs and gravitas, so the cutie-mark stealing pony would know, without a doubt, that she would be held completely and totally responsible for her actions. Should Luna’s joy over Apollo come to light, then Miss Glimmer might take the sight for a sign of weakness, and make the ensuing conversation and actions all the more difficult.

It wasn’t going to be easy. Luna was a firm believer in love at first sight, and little Apollo had already stolen her heart. The adorable little colt was going to get her into a lot of trouble, she just knew it. As soon as he figured out how to weaponize his pout, Luna’s ability to tell him ‘no’ would be at an end.

A pleased smile escaped for a few seconds with just the thought. She had forgotten how much life newborns gave to the world, but she was going to relish the sensations for as long as they lasted.

“Your Highness!”

“Oh!” Luna turned to the unexpected but not unwelcome interruption. “Corporal Larkspur! What a pleasant surprise. I did not think you were on duty yet.”

“I’m working overtime today, ma’am,” Larkspur replied with a slightly sheepish grin. “Trying to get a little bit saved up for Hearth’s Warming.”

“I see. How are your little ones doing?” she asked with a happy note.

“Tumbleweed managed to sprain her fetlock and bruise some ribs doing something called ‘parkour’ yesterday. Seems some friends told her about it at school, and she just had to try it. Marigold is still working on her model train collection, and Constance is… well, let’s just say we’re working through things together, and she seems to be a lot happier now. She still doesn’t say much, but I can tell she’s coming to terms with Patience’s passing. I am too, in a way.”

“Good. It is pleasing to know that the therapy sessions are bearing fruit for you.”

“Thank you for suggesting it, ma’am,” he replied. “Anyway, your carriage is prepped and ready to go. Lieutenant Spear Point wants me to accompany you, so we can leave whenever you are ready.”

Luna nodded. “Your company is greatly appreciated, Corporal. Come, let us be on our way. I am sure Twilight Sparkle wants my prompt attention to this matter.”

Larkspur nodded and motioned with a hoof. “Right this way, ma’am.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Chrissy?” Sergeant Hokey Pokey paused to kick his front door shut, and he slung his overstuffed saddlebags off his back. 

“Ah, finally!” Queen Chrysalis, Queen of All Changelings and Don’t You Forget It, was quick to snatch away the sergeant’s bags and even faster to start rummaging through them. “What took you so long?”

“Y’know, it’s not all that easy to find crossword puzzles that you haven’t done yet,” he quipped while she dumped the contents of his bags onto the floor. “Nearly impossible, in fact.”

The buggy queen looked up at him with puppy dog eyes and a small pout. “You mean you didn’t get me any crossword puzzles?”

“I didn’t say that,” he said with a devious smirk. From under one wing, he produced a new book, and Chrysalis squealed in delight. 

“Ah, Pokey! I knew you wouldn't disappoint me. If I could only get my little minions to be as faithful as you.” She snatched up the crosswords in her magic, cackled while she flipped through the pages, and then gave her Pokey a sultry look over her pince-nez glasses. “You always know how to treat a mare right.”

“Considering the whine fest that'll happen as the alternative, it’s a small price to pay,” he shot back, and he began to pick up what Chrysalis had scattered across the floor. “I don’t suppose you’re going to help me put this stuff away, are you?”

“Nope.” She waved a dismissive hoof at him and moved to a pod that looked like a changeling queen sized cushion in the middle of the front room. “You know I don’t do that kind of stuff. What’s for dinner?”

“I dunno. Haven’t figured that out yet,” he said.  

“Well, hurry up. I’m famished.”

Pokey laughed a little as he moved his purchases into the kitchen, and for a brief moment, he wondered why he put up with this fussy and demanding mare. She was so self-centered and arrogant, so conceited and snooty. Anypony else would have thrown her back in the dungeons a long time ago, where she really belonged anyway. This was the changeling who had foalnapped Princess Cadence, brainwashed both Shining Armor and Baked Bean, and humiliated him by pretending to be a unicorn mare just to gather intelligence on Canterlot’s defenses.

But underneath all of the bluster and bravado, there was a surprisingly tender and thoughtful mare who just didn’t know how to express her feelings. She grumbled and whined whenever he was late in getting home, for one example, but over time, it had lost the annoyed and angry edge and instead was filled with concern, like she really did worry that something had happened to him. 

It was a bit curious, but even her short conversation with him moments ago was evidence of how their relationship had evolved. Chrysalis would rather be caught dead than outright say ‘thank you,’ but in her own buggy way, she had said as much to him when she had wished her minions had his loyalty. It was those tiny moments—fleeting, yes, but becoming more frequent with time—that he found his own affections deeping for her. Their relationship would forever be one of snark and one-upmanship, but somehow, he could feel the small sparks of love—true love, and that freely given—flaring to life within that outwardly cold and black chitin. 

Maybe, just maybe, this changeling could change.

It was with that thought that Pokey pulled out a long, thin bottle filled with an amber colored liquid. Chrysalis, despite her protests to the contrary, did enjoy a good surprise every now and then, and this was a surprise she was sure to enjoy.

“Hey!” she shouted in. “What’s a nine letter word for ‘occurs in turn?’”

“Alternate,” he shouted back while pulling the stopper out of the bottle.

“Ha! Of course!” Chrysalis chortled. 

Hokey Pokey slowly returned to his front room, sat down next to his unexpected roommate, and poured a healthy dollop of the amber liquid into his hooves. Chrysalis sniffed the air while he rubbed the concoction in his hooves, but her eyes stayed glued to the book in front of her.

“What is that smell?” she asked. “It smells like almonds, and… what are you…”

Chrysalis trailed off and began to buzz with delight as Pokey rubbed the solution into the chitin between her wings. “Oh, it’s just a little something I found at the market. Never you mind,” he casually said.

“If you’re putting wax on me I’m going to pluck all of the feathers out of your wings one by one,” she murmured in a not-threatening-in-the-slightest voice. 

“I’m in luck, then. It’s just massage oil. It’ll wash right off,” he replied. 

“Oh, I don’t know.” Chrysalis buzzed more and dipped her head so he could work on her shoulders and neck. “As I recall, you thought shiny Chrissy was rather attractive. I think you have some ulterior motives going on here.”

“And what if I do?” he asked in a sly tone. “What are you going to do about it?”

Chrysalis let out a long, luxurious sigh. “Absolutely nothing.”

“That’s what I thought you would say,” he replied smugly, his hooves moving back down to work around her wings. The thin, translucent membranes seemed to have less holes in them, oddly enough, the edges less ragged and torn. They almost looked like proper wings, something like a dragonfly’s, perhaps, with a smooth blend of rainbow coloring still in them from the all-purpose dye that Captain Armor had slid into her pod while she was molting. 

And, though it may have just been a trick of the light, he thought he saw just a hint of a sparkle in them, somehow. It was a bit odd, but the look was actually both cute and attractive, and he secretly hoped that the effect would deepen.

“Pokey?” Chrysalis whispered. “Something wrong?”

“No.”

“Then quit gawking at my flanks and get back to the massage. Mama wants more.”

Pokey shook his head and laughed. “You always do.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


Princess Celestia Bean, Sol Invicta and Ruler of Equestria, woke with a small snort and a slight groan. When she had first discovered that she was pregnant nearly a year ago, she had thought that giving birth would be a trying, but yet ultimately simple process. Modern medicine had advanced to heights that would be simply inconceivable when she was young, yet somehow, she had gone through the same undulled and ultimate pain that her sister had endured over a thousand years ago. 

Though it was not ironic, Celestia couldn’t help but think it was, in its own way. With another groan, she slowly turned her head, and a small hum of delight came when she found her beloved husband right where she’d left him last night.

“So devoted,” she whispered before giving his nose a kiss and wrapping her wing a little tighter around him. Bean had stayed up all night so Celestia could sleep and recover—even though his mother had repeatedly shooed him away with assurances that she could handle Apollo and his needs—and the Princess of the Day was grateful beyond words once more for the yellow stallion who had booped his way into her life. 

But by her sun she was sore! Her back was still killing her, her abdomen was tight and tender to the touch, and her nether—

“Ow!” She couldn’t hold back the yelp as a needle of pain hit her. Doctor Horsenpfeffer had told her it could take upwards of a week before she’d feel well enough to resume her normal activities, but if these aches continued as they were now, her healing was going to take a lot longer than that.

“Celly?” Bean whispered, his eyes fluttering open as he yawned. “What’s wrong?”

“Just another spasm,” she whispered back with a grimace. “Nothing to worry about.”

“You sure?” he asked, the concern heavy in his words.

“Yes. I just need a little more rest. Where is Apollo?”

Bean picked his head up, looked around, and then pointed with a small laugh. “Looks like he’s sleeping with Grandpa over there.”

Celestia giggled at the sight of Garbanzo Bean, his head tilted back against the rocking chair. “That looks rather uncomfortable. Should we take Apollo back?”

“Nah, he’ll be okay,” Bean replied. “I’m sure he wants as much time as he can get with his grandson, even if he is asleep for most of it.”

“I’m sure your cousins will be along soon enough for their turn as well,” Celestia said with a yawn. “Such a wonderful family.”

“I guess we’d better enjoy it while we can,” said Bean. “They’ll have to head home soon enough, and then we’ll be on our own.”

“That does not concern me in the slightest. I have you, and you have me. Together, we will conquer parenthood and raise a fine young stallion.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Bean said with a kiss.


 * *  ✹ * * 


Prince Blueblood drew in a long breath, his gaze firmly on the verdant scenery that was rushing past him as he looked out the window of the train. So much had happened over the last year, both in Yakyakistan and in Canterlot, and he was eager to meet with his colleagues in the capital and to catch up on everything that had transpired. Dealing with the Yaks was, by default, an arduous task filled with screaming, shouting, and enough yak smashing for several lifetimes, but Blueblood was not to be beaten so easily. It had taken time, patience, and earplugs at times, but bit by bit, the noble had made headway with the temperamental Prince Rutherford and his ruling councils. 

Of course, he hadn’t been expecting assistance from Pink Pony, as Pinkie Pie was known to the Yaks. The bubbly and slightly out of touch with reality party planner had been instrumental in having Blueblood accepted in Yakyakistan again after the Changeling Scare incident, and it was her Pinkie Promise that had allowed Blueblood to hammer out the details of a cooperation and open borders treaty with Rutherford. With that now in place, it was time to return to Canterlot and begin the process of establishing a formal embassy.

Truth be told, Blueblood had been looking forward to this moment for quite some time, and not just because it would validate his work. He had grown to love the lands and the culture of Yakyakistan, but there truly was no place like home, and it felt good to see the familiar Equestrian countryside once more. It would be nice to again consort with ponies face-to-face, to enjoy the exquisiteness of the palace, and to be in his own domicile with his own trappings around him.

“Pony Blueblood!” A burly yak marched up to him and glared. “Yak no like train. Trip too long! Yak want to know when we get to pony city.”

“We should be arriving in under an hour, Ambassador Horwitz,” Blueblood replied with a calm tone and a disarming smile. “I understand your frustration with the length of the journey, but I assure you the inconvenience will be well worth your time.”

“Pony Blueblood likes big words,” Horwitz replied, his eyes rolling in annoyance. “Should save them for special occasion. Use small words to talk to yak.”

“I would argue that this is a special occasion,” Blueblood countered. “With the opening of an embassy in Canterlot, Yaks and Ponies will be able to collaborate in friendship like never before. Both of our kingdoms will be greatly benefited by our upcoming actions.”

“Yaks want pony friends. Does Pony Blueblood really believe that ponies will want yak friends?”

“I will do everything in my power to make it so,” Blueblood replied. “Though, I must say it is a shame that your granddaughter could not accompany us. I do hope she will be able to come soon.”

Horwitz nodded. “Yona good yak, but still young. Needs to grow more. Maybe Yona can come visit.”

Blueblood nodded and smiled deeper. “That would be delightful, Ambassador. I’m sure she’ll find Equestria to be a most hospitable place, just as you will.” 


 * *  ✹ * * 

> Bonus: Nightmare Night Special
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✹ * * 


Principal Celestia was an enigma. 

Baked Bean thought over that simple statement for a moment, and then amended it. Using the word was indicated past tense, and the head administrator of Canterlot High had not changed in the entire time that he’d known her.

So, to be accurate, the sentence should be that Principal Celestia is an enigma.

When he had first met her during his job interviews, Celestia had come across as stern and uncompromising, a woman who was used to getting her way and would tolerate no dissident opinions or contrary viewpoints. She frowned a lot, she glared even more, and after a few brief conversations, Baked Bean had concluded that Vice Principal Luna would be far more personable and approachable. 

Luna had certainly come across as the more courteous of the two sisters, and he had accepted the dietician position based on the fact that she would be his direct boss.

That, and the fact that he was flat broke, but that was beside the point. 

Once he’d finished the orientation meetings and filled out all the paperwork, Baked Bean had thrown himself at the work, and his meal concepts had quickly caught the elder sister’s attention. Her interest in his produce had, in turn, caught his interest, and with some nudges from Luna, Bean’s relationship with Celestia had progressed from employer to acquaintance, from acquaintance to friend, and from friend to…

Baked Bean drew in a deep breath. He was still hesitant to admit his deeper feelings for the elegant woman who was walking side-by-side with him, but he couldn’t deny that he and she had become close. His affections for her had grown, little by little and day by day, and he found now that he longed to see her bright smile, to hear her soft, encouraging, and enchanting voice. Working for his parents at the family restaurant had felt something like indentured servitude, but now, he actually longed to be at work, for that meant that he would be at Canterlot High with Celestia.

But even now, Celestia still managed to surprise him. He should have realized that such would be par for the course with her after last year’s Halloween, but he secretly relished every time she revealed a little more of her true self to him. 

This Halloween provided the latest in a long string of examples that he could use to illustrate his point. Since the holiday fell on a Sunday this year, Celestia had decided to hold the annual All Hallow’s Eve party for the school on Friday, thus leaving the weekend open for her students and staff to enjoy as they saw fit. She had then informed Baked Bean of a masquerade ball being held in town Saturday night, and she had invited him to attend as her guest, which he had gratefully accepted. 

What she hadn’t mentioned was that the ball was being hosted and sponsored by the local Historical Reenactment Society, and she intended to attend in a period-accurate costume. 

She also neglected to inform him that he needed to be dressed accurately, too, but at least she’d made up for it by supplying his evening wear. 

Not that he minded how he looked, overall. His garb for the evening was much like a modern day tuxedo, but with a waistcoat, soft kid gloves, and a fine, high silk top hat to complete the look. It was surprisingly comfortable, and though it was probably a bit childish, he enjoyed pulling his pocket watch out of the front pocket and casually flicking it open to study the current position of the hands, like he really was one of the upper crust of the bygone era.

Then he had arrived at Celestia’s house to escort her to the party, and he still wasn’t sure why he hadn’t had a massive nosebleed when she’d opened the front door and revealed her selection for the evening. 

She was draped in an opulent blue velvet, cut low in the front with a frilly lace and a silver bertha collar that, as she explained, was to keep from showing too much cleavage, as doing so would be far too scandalous for the time. Her skirts were layered, with one layer pulled up and pinned to her left hip to reveal a flowery second layer that extended to her ankles, and the third ruffled layer peeking out to touch the top of her feet. The outermost skirt was bustled and quite long, falling as an elegant train behind her that reminded him of a wedding gown. A  pair of cream-colored, satin above the elbow gloves provided the finishing touch to her elegant and exquisite look, and when she'd reached out to take his hands in hers, the cool smoothness removed his ability to move or speak. Ever the perfectionist, Celestia had even elected to wear a tight corset to achieve the proper S-shaped silhouette, so for Bean, it was easy to be alliterative and describe her totality as simply stunning.

Even her multi hued hair had been swept up to the top of her head in a perfect replica of the old photos that Baked Bean had seen in his history books. To him, Celestia looked like she’d stepped right out of the past and into his astonished present. 

Yet she didn’t look anything like one of those burlesque saloon girls from the time period. Her ensemble, her airs, her poise and her refinement was equal to, if not greater than, any princess he could possibly name.

It had taken him a few moments to remember his own name, and a few dozen more to recall how to walk and talk, though he tried not to do both at the same time, lest he get overwhelmed and fall flat on his face. 

And, of course, that had only been the beginning of the entertaining surprises for the night. Bean had offered a sincere compliment on her appearance—once he was able to finally do so again—which she accepted with slight blush and a soft thanks before launching into a detailed history of women’s fashion and her interest in it. Bean was already aware of Celestia’s copious historical knowledge—it was one of her favorite subjects, and she’d put his own amatuer history buff status to shame in short order—but he’d not realized how deep and broad her studies had been. 

Indeed, she had gladly informed him of the nuanced differences in fashion from year to year during the entire drive to the dance. Once they had arrived, he was pleased to see her joy when he opened her door like a true gentleman should, and he had nearly gone numb with delight when she slid her arm into his for the walk to the entrance. 

Baked Bean smiled all the more as he turned his head and drank in the details of his date. Sombra truly had been the world’s greatest fool to walk out on this perfect and noble woman, and Bean’s heart yearned to be with her, to do anything he possibly could to keep her.

“Are you well, Mister Bean?” Celestia asked, her own eyes moving to meet his.

“I am very well, Miss Celestia,” he replied. “Forgive me for staring, but I admit I’m having a hard time keeping my eyes off you.”

Her laugh tickled his ears, a laugh that would warm his soul no matter the cold. “Thank you, but you are not the only one. You are quite dashing and dapper yourself.”

“Thanks to you, mostly. But thank you, too.”

Celestia looked like she would say more, but she remained silent for a moment. After a few paces, however, she tugged on his arm and brought them both to a stop.

“Forgive me, Bean, but I… well, I’d like to discuss something with you before we go inside.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“I have… let’s say I have a proposition for you,” she said with a small grin. “A proposition that I think will benefit us both.”

Bean’s heart began to hammer in his chest. “And what—” his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat “—what is this proposition of yours?”

“A proposal,” she said, her grin slowly growing. “Baked Bean, when I’m with you, I feel a sublime joy that I’ve never felt with anyone else. You came into my life when I was mired in the darkness of Sombra’s betrayal, and bit by bit, you’ve brought me back to the light and to love. I’ve… I’ve grown rather fond of you, to the point that I dread the times when we must be apart. My heart, against my initial protests and prosterations, now longs for you and the unique bliss and comfort that you bring. I want us to be together, and I believe that your heart yearns for the same thing.

“So, Mister Baked Bean,” she leaned in until the tip of her nose was touching his, “I would like to extend an offer of matrimony to you. I realize that it may be a bit unorthodox for a woman to propose marriage, but—”

Baked Bean tilted his head slightly and pressed his lips against hers. There was a brief moment of shock for both of them—if her squeak of surprise was any indication—but that almost instantaneously disappeared as the whole of existence blissfully slid into perfect insignificance. She embraced him, he embraced her, and there wasn’t a thing that could have mattered more at that moment to either of them.

There was no language that could adequately describe what they felt right then, no combination of letters or words or phrases that could give the full impact of their state of being. Time became a distant irrelevance; space nothing more than a fleeting inconvenience. There was a vain attempt by rationality to put a tidy description to the event: euphoria, bliss, contentment, completeness, rapture, exultance, joyfulness, fullness and pure love.

They were all miserable failures. The scope of the moment between Bean and Celestia was beyond transcendence itself.

When they did finally submit to reality’s rules again, the pair found themselves in the arms of one another, nose to nose and heart to heart. They both giggled, laughed, and then several quick pecks were shared between them as they celebrated this momentous occurrence. 

“Who ever said that women can’t propose?” Bean playfully asked. “Celestia, I would be honored to accept your proposal. I could not ask for anything better. I will gladly spend the rest of my life with you, if only so that I may but taste the deep wellspring of love that you are willing to share with me. I will give you all that I have, all that I am, and together, we will experience all of life’s joys together. It would give me the greatest pleasure to be known as your husband.”

“Good answer,” Celestia replied, her smile as bright as the midday sun as tears rolled down her cheeks. “Thank you, Bean.”

The newly engaged couple embraced again, but it was interrupted by a low, hearty hum that rose from deep within Bean’s chest. 

“What is it?” Celestia asked.

“You, my love, are quite the enigma,” Bean said, his arm wrapping around her waist and her arm wrapping around his. “I can’t wait to see what other surprises you have in store for me.”


 * *  ✹ * * 

> 2. - Starlight Glimmer
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Princess Luna!” Twilight Sparkle greeted her fellow princess with a grin and a hug, but then her demeanor turned serious. “Thank you for coming so quickly.”

“Of course, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna replied. “My sister would have attended to this matter herself, of course, but…”

“I understand,” Twilight replied as they entered the foyer to her castle. “To be honest, I didn’t expect either of you to actually come here. I just wanted your advice.”

“Where is this Starlight Glimmer now?” Luna asked.

“She’s in one of the guest rooms,” Twilight said. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Starlight is a good pony, she really is. She’s just made a few bad choices, and I want to help her get back on her hooves.”

“Stealing a pony’s cutie mark is no light matter, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna sternly replied. “What do you propose to do, exactly?”

“I want to take her on as my student,” Twilight said, her conviction firm in her voice. “Starlight just doesn’t understand how friendship works, what it means to even have a friend. I want to show her, to teach her.”

“And are you sure that your efforts will bear fruit? What if Starlight Glimmer rejects your lessons and returns to her old ways?”

Twilight didn’t back down. “With all due respect, Your Highness, what if you decide to reject the friendship that was offered to you by Celestia and return to being Nightmare Moon?”

Luna snorted, her ethereal tail lashing at her haunches with the insolence of such a suggestion. “I hardly think that..” she snapped before trailing off, her arguments falling apart as quickly as she thought of them. “This is not… but…” She stopped, and after a few moments, her head dipped slightly in embarrassment. “That is a fair point. Forgive me, Twilight Sparkle. I am being needlessly overprotective in this matter.”

Twilight hesitated for a moment. “Because of Apollo?”

“Indeed. One never stops being a mother, even after a thousand years,” said Luna with her own thoughtful smile. “I admit that my own motherly instincts have flared to life once more with his birth, and they are now being projected on to you, my dear granddaughter. I trust you and your skill, but I do not wish for you to be injured.”

“It’s okay, Grandmother,” Twilight replied with a cheesy grin. “I understand.”

“If you feel that Starlight Glimmer will be benefited by your tutelage, then I will endorse your decision and offer what support I can,” Luna went on. “I am sure my sister will do the same for you as well.”

“Thank you. Since you’re here, it might be a good idea if you had a few words with her,” said Twilight. “She doesn’t think she can really be forgiven for what she’s done, even though I and my friends have told her she can. Maybe you can help her understand.”

“If you think it would be worthwhile, then I suppose I could share a few words with her,” Luna said thoughtfully. “I am not sure that my message will be received properly, though.”

“I think you’ll do great.” 

“Very well. Shall we receive her in your throne room?”

Twilight nodded and motioned with a hoof. “Right this way, Princess.”

“Grandmother,” Luna said with a wistful expression as they began to walk. “I have not had any pony invoke that title in centuries. Praytell, how is your genealogical research going?” 

“I haven’t had much time to do any meaningful work on it,” Twilight admitted, although she seemed to be nibbling on her bottom lip as if trying to fit a week’s wroth of scheduling into a single day. “But I do think I’ve got some leads on Cadence’s family line back to you. I’ll need to check the archives in Canterlot and see if I can find more.”

“If I may be of assistance, please let me know,” said Luna. “Bean and I have uncovered much during our work on Star Struck’s biography, and perhaps I can give you a starting point for your search, if nothing else.”

“Thank you, Princess. I’ll check with Spike and see if that would help. But since you mention it, I did have a question about myself and Cadence, and our ascension to alicornhood.” 

“Oh?”

“I’ve been wondering if there’s some sort of ‘alicorn gene,’” Twilight said. “Since you were the only alicorn to have offspring for over a thousand years, do you think it’s possible that you passed on the traits that allow for a pony to become an alicorn, like how eye, mane, and coat colors are passed down?”

“An interesting notion,” Luna said with a knowing grin. “But you are not the first to have it. Celestia began to study that same question after Cadence joined her, and she discussed the matter again with me when you proved yourself worthy.”

“She did?” Twilight asked with an eager squeak. “What did she find out?”

“Very little, in the end. The only thing she could ascertain for certain was that, after a thousand years, the vast majority of Equestria is now related to me, to a lesser or greater degree,” Luna said with a laugh. “So, if there is such a thing as an alicorn gene, then it is most likely that it is as common as tails. Every pony would have it, but none of them—” Luna booped Twilight on the nose “—are permitted to call me Grandmother.”

“Oh.” Twilight tried to hide her dejection, but it was obvious that she was hoping for more.

“Celly and I agree that—inherited trait or no—alicorns must earn their place,” Luna went on. “Just as you and Cadence continue to do.”

“That was another question that came to me after Apollo was born. Why aren’t there more princes and princesses?”

“You may thank Celestia’s foresight for that. She realized that there would be many ponies who would eagerly claim those titles, if they could, so we agreed to limit their lines by legislation, if you will. A pony can only claim the highest rank of royalty for three generations and no more.” Luna paused in thought for a moment, then laughed. “Or, one could try to cheat and give their child the name Prince, but that has not worked out for Blueblood as well as his family would have hoped.” 

Luna paused again with another thought. “Though I suppose that is one of the old laws that should be reviewed, before we run into another forced marriage type issue. After the three generations, Celestia and I would typically grant a lower title, such as Baron or Viscount, to my ensuing family. Many of the noble families in Canterlot are the modern descendants of those grants. Now that Celestia has a child, we should determine if we will continue that tradition with Apollo, or amend the law if we will not.”

“I could see where that might turn into a problem,” Twilight agreed as she shared a smile with Luna.


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Are you sure this is really such a good idea?” Starlight Glimmer asked once more, while fighting the persistent urge to teleport away, to say nothing of gigantic butterflies in her stomach. as she and Twilight rounded a corner. “Princess Luna never came across as the most forgiving of ponies to me.”

“You’ll be surprised,” Twilight replied, and she put a comforting hoof on Starlight’s shoulder. “I know she can seem a bit intense at times, but remember that she was once Nightmare Moon. If there’s anypony who knows about forgiveness, it’s her.”

“If you say so.” Starlight swallowed hard as the doors to the throne room loomed before her.

“I’ll be right there with you,” Twilight said with a reassuring smile. “There’s nothing to be worried about.”

Starlight Glimmer nodded, but her mind still raced with questions and concerns. Trying to bring about a night eternal was bad, yes, but was that comparable to taking away a core part of a pony, and then destroying Equestria several times over in a desperate act of spiteful revenge? At least there would have been something left for Nightmare Moon to rule over if she had been successful.

Comparable or not, Starlight realized that she needed this talk with Princess Luna. Though she still doubted the nocturnal princess would offer any sort of mercy or clemency, at least Starlight could begin to pay for her crimes.

Her new life couldn’t really begin until she did so, or at least her hammering heart was telling her.

With that thought, Starlight pushed the doors open with her magic. “This isn’t so bad,” she muttered under her breath, but for some reason, her hooves remained planted in place. They did not seem to share her optimism, and neither did her heart from the way it beat even wilder. “Who am I kidding?! This is terrifying!”

“Starlight Glimmer!” Luna’s wings flared to their full extension, and the chill of the deepest midnight enveloped the immobile unicorn. “Step forward and account for yourself.”

The chill rapidly turned into frozen terror as Starlight stumbled forward. Those dark cyan eyes felt like they were burning a bottomless pit of despair right in the middle of herself, and it would only take a wink for the dark and terrible alicorn to create a real bottomless pit for her to spend the rest of her days in. Without a word—but with enough trepidation to last for at least five other ponies besides herself—Starlight forced herself to face the lunar diarch. 

Her nose then went straight to the ground in a desperate attempt at genuflection, though her knees were locked and she couldn’t get them to bend. Absolute fear gripped her heart, and for several long moments, she wondered how long it would take for the enveloping blackness to consume her. 

“Arise, Starlight Glimmer, and address your diarch,” Luna commanded. 

Starlight did so, but the ability to speak had completely left her, so she simply stood and gawked, her mouth opening and closing like a fish that had been ripped out of the water by the gills.

“Well?” Luna pressed. “What do you have to say for yourself, Starlight Glimmer?”

“I’d start with ‘I’m sorry’ if I was you,” Twilight whispered with a sharp nudge to Starlight’s ribs.

The suggestion jump-started her ability to speak, but it left her with only the most basic of words to convey the depths of her shame. “I’m really, really sorry for what I’ve done, Princess Luna. I just… I made a lot of bad choices. I don’t have any excuses, but I want to be better. I want to learn about friendship, and to try to fix my mistakes. I’ve been… I’ve been so lonely.” Her voice dropped, and her gaze drifted downward. “When I forced others to give up their Cutie Marks, I kept myself apart from them, above them. I didn’t want to be hurt again, but the only way that I can see to never be hurt is to make everypony equal, to take away what makes them special.” Her eyes moved to Twilight, and the corners of her mouth twitched upwards. “Princess Twilight says she can show me a better way, and… well, I believe her. If there’s anypony who can show me how to make friends, it’s her.

“But I know my choices have consequences,” she went on. “So, I’ll take whatever punishment you see fit to inflict on me. If I have to be banished to the moon, then so be it.”

“Why does everypony think they are going to get banished to the moon?” Luna mused aloud. “I have never threatened that, and I do not remember my sister ever suggesting such a punishment, either.” The Mistress of the Night thought the notion over for a brief moment, then shrugged. “It must be related to my own punishment for becoming Nightmare Moon. Thankfully, Miss Glimmer, such a draconian option will never be taken seriously. You need not fear the moon.”

“So, what are you going to do with me?” Starlight had to ask. 

“A worthy question that I have puzzled over in both this era and the previous, and the precise answer has always eluded me. I have been learning from my sister and her student in this regard, and I believe the proper answer is—” Luna’s brow lowered, but there was a twinkle in her eyes “—tea.”

“Tea?” Of all the things for Luna to say at that moment, that was the last thing that Starlight would have expected.

“Provided you have some time to spare. Twilight Sparkle, may I impose upon your hospitality?”

“Of course!” Twilight beamed at the two of them as she moved towards the door. “I’ll get Spike right on that.”

“Thank you.” Luna turned her attention back to Starlight, and her warm smile eased the unicorn’s anxieties and concerns. “While we wait, why don’t you and I have a friendly chat, Miss Glimmer. I believe we will find that we have much in common.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“So, in addition to stealing ponies’ cutie marks, you attempted to destroy the friendships Twilight Sparkle had forged by altering her past, but in so doing, you managed to also erase the Kingdom of Equestria from existence,” Luna said in a flat, emotionless voice.

“Only in one of the futures,” Starlight said, her ears splayed and her gaze on the blank cutie mark map in front of her. “Twilight told me there were other futures where Equestria was still here but at war, or overrun by Chrysalis and her changelings, or stuck in an endless night with Nightmare Moon.”

Luna started slightly with this revelation. “Truly? There was an alternate reality where I, in my hatred and rage, successfully defeated my sister?”

“Yes?” Starlight said hesitantly. “I suppose so. I think you beat her after your imprisonment on the moon, but you were still living in the Castle of the Two Sisters.”

“Most interesting,” Luna mused. “And how fortunate that such a future did not come to pass! If such a thing had happened, then Equestria would have turned into a dark, barren and frozen waste within the space of a few months, if that. I admit that a small part of me is curious as to how…” She stopped herself and shook her head. “No. There are some questions best left unanswered.”

“I really screwed up, didn’t I?” Starlight moaned. 

“Yes,” Luna bluntly replied. “But you have also seen the error of your ways, and that is the first step towards understanding and redemption. Thankfully, you did not have to learn the same way I did.”

“So, are you going to punish me?”

Luna smirked. “Do you feel remorse for your actions, Starlight Glimmer? Are you willing to accept the friendship that has been offered to you by Twilight Sparkle, and to learn from her?”

“I do feel awful about what I did. And I really do want to learn. I’ve been alone my whole life, and… well, it’s nice to have a friend again. I almost forgot what that was like.”

“Then your punishment is ongoing, and I see no need to add to it,” Luna declared. “I understand why you did not want to risk losing another friend, for it is an exquisite pain that I am all too familiar with. Provided you take full advantage of this singular opportunity, I think you will naturally set right any wrongs you may have committed.”

“Thanks.” Starlight offered a genuine smile, which Luna happily mirrored back. “I guess you would know all about nopony being your friend, huh? I mean, a thousand years ago, everypony was scared of you and your night.”

“Indeed, and my jealousy eventually corrupted me, just as it was corrupting you. It was difficult to see everypony praising my sister and her day, while hiding from and ignoring my glorious nights. However, I did have friends and my family during this time, and I cherished my associations with them. Had they not been a part of my life, my rebellion and fall would have occurred many years sooner.”

Starlight tilted her head, the confusion obvious in her face. “So, when they… um,”

“Died?” Luna prompted.

“Not really a better way to say it, is there? When you lost them to death, did that make you more bitter and angry?”

“It did, to a very small degree,” Luna said slowly. She was clearly reluctant to speak of her past pain, given her expression, but the dark alicorn went on after a minute of apparent introspection. “In a way, Starlight Glimmer, you and I are very much alike. When I lost my beloved Star Struck, I sank into a deep depression and obsessed over what I had lost. As I look back now, I see clearly how I allowed my sadness to fester into anger and jealousy, and those feelings only grew in intensity as I watched my daughter, and her children, and her children’s children pass before me like the dew upon the grass. This became a self-feeding cycle as the century went on, until finally, my rage could no longer be contained.

“Starlight, you now have the chance to change course, to do what I should have done. Everypony, at some point in their lives, will experience the pain that comes when a cherished friend is no longer a part of your life. It is natural for ponies to experience sadness and depression during these times, as we miss and long for their presence once again. If you were to continue down the path you had been on, you would have been consumed, as I was, and in time, you would have destroyed everything you held dear. Now, you have the chance to make a better choice, to hold in cherished memory that which you had while looking forward to what may yet be. We cannot control what happens in life, but we can control how we react to it. Yes, you may experience the heartbreak of loss once more if you risk making another friend, but you also risk finding joy and happiness. In my experience, the rewards are well worth it.”  

Starlight’s gaze dropped to the dormant map again as she thought this over, but then she met Luna’s eyes with a determined smile. “I will, Princess.”

“Good.” Luna paused, and a slightly devious grin came to her with a thought. “If I may, I believe I will borrow one of my sister’s ideas and ask that you write to me once a week about what you are learning in your friendship lessons. I would very much like to keep track of your progress.”

“Sure, I can let you know what’s happening.” Starlight paused for a moment in thought. “Um, I’ll need the address for the Palace, though.”

“I believe Spike the Dragon can still send missives with his dragon breath magic,” Luna replied with a wry grin. “Simply ask him to send it to me directly, or to Secretary Trixie, and he will take care of the rest.”

“Oh! Okay. That will save a lot of money on postage, won’t it?”

“That it will,” Luna said with a light chuckle. 

“Knock, knock!” Twilight called out as the throne room doors opened, and her cheerful smile grew larger after she took in the scene. “I have the tea all ready, Princess, if you’re ready for it.”

“We are, and thank you,” Luna replied as Spike staggered in while carrying a tea set that appeared to be twice as tall, thrice as wide, and at least four times heavier than himself. “Your hospitality is most appreciated, Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“Oh, it’s no problem at all,” Twilight said with a dismissive scoff. “Anything at all for my friends.”

“Especially when you make your dragon take care of the hard part,” Starlight noted, her magic leaping out to relieve the poor drake of his load.
   
“Phew, thanks,” Spike offered with a sigh of relief.

“So, what have you been talking about?” Twilight sat on her throne, leaned forward, and propped her chin up with her hooves. “If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

“Nothing of great import.” Luna casually inspected one of her silver shoes, but Starlight caught her quick wink. “I was merely debating if five years on the moon would be an adequate punishment, or if ten years would be more fitting.”

“What?! You can’t send her to the moon!” Twilight gasped and nearly fell off her seat. 

“I dunno, Twilight. I did destroy Equestria, in a way,” Starlight said.

“Well, yes, but no! You didn’t really do anything like that, in the end! Luna, please don’t send her away! I know Starlight can be redeemed and I can help her, I promise!”

Luna bobbed her head back and forth in thought. “Hmm. I suppose putting her on house arrest would be easier. Very well! Twilight Sparkle, I shall entrust this pony in your care, but make sure she does not leave this place.”

“But how can I teach her about friendship if she’s stuck… here…” Twilight pouted as Luna and Starlight began to laugh. “Oh, har-dee-har-har. Very funny.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“And she’s going to write you friendship letters?” Bean asked Luna.

“Yes.” Luna’s gaze remained on Apollo, who was sleeping comfortably in her forelegs as she slowly rocked him back and forth. “Starlight is a good pony who allowed a bad experience to get blown out of proportion. Twilight Sparkle will be an excellent teacher, and by writing to me, I am sure the lessons will imprint far more deeply into her heart than they ever could on parchment.”

“A wise decision,” Celestia noted, her nose buried deep in her left wing. “I am eager to see how both of them do, myself.”

“Um, Celly? Are you sure you don’t need me to find that broken feather for you?” Bean asked over Celestia’s grunts.

“No, no. I’ll get it. Bean, you and I should visit both of them in a few weeks, once I have recovered fully from Apollo’s birth.”

“Good idea. I’ll have Trixie work it into our schedule.” Bean hesitated, and then went on. “Luna, do you think that Starlight could have messed up our timeline?” Bean asked with a concerned frown.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, Celestia was beyond sure that Apollo was going to be a filly, from conception until he was born. Do you think that Starlight’s actions maybe somehow affected that?”

Luna nodded slowly in thought. “I can see why you would think that, but I am confident that all of her actions were undone in the end by Twilight Sparkle and herself. The changes only occurred because Rainbow Dash was unable to complete her first sonic rainboom, so when they did not interfere with her race, everything went back to the way it was. Even if that somehow failed to correct everything, it would seem that Harmony itself took care of the issue by destroying the spell and Starswirl’s scroll before returning everypony to the proper time. I would not worry about alterations to our world, Bean. Everything is as it was, and as it should be.”

Celestia stomped her foreleg, and with an annoyed grunt, she began tearing feathers out with reckless abandon. “This is ridiculous! I’ve never molted this badly in my life. Where did all of these rotten feathers come from? And don’t you answer that, Luna!” 

“Then why ask?” Luna calmly replied.

“It was a rhetorical question,” was the muffled reply. 

Normally, Luna would have taken the opportunity to lightly antagonize her sister, but she decided it would be best to leave the irritable alicorn alone. As the feathers continued to fly, however, another thought came to the nocturnal diarch, and she pursed her lips as she pondered it over. “Bean, do you still have that feather that Philomina gifted to you before she left last year?”

“Oh, sure. I’ve got it tucked away in our bedroom,” he replied. 

“And we are scheduled to meet with the Yakyakistani ambassador tomorrow, correct?”

“I believe so, yeah. Why?”

“Celly’s quest to render herself flightless has reminded me of a particular yak custom. While the ambassador is, doubtless, aware of the fact that you are Celestia’s husband and her equal in all matters, it may be beneficial to reinforce that fact.”

“How so?”

“Yaks place great meaning in beading and ornamentation. Prince Rutherford, for example, wears several intricate golden bracelets on his horns and in his beard as a show of his position and power, and those of higher rank will adorn themselves in a similar fashion, male and female alike. Such a display is not required for myself or Celly, given our regalia and age, but since you are rather simply adorned in comparison, the ambassador may see you as inferior.”

“There are ponies that still think that of me,” Bean noted with a bob of his eyebrows. 

“Beside the point, and don’t change the subject,” Luna chided. “My point is, we can avoid the problem entirely with a few well-placed feathers.”

“That’s all it takes?”

Luna nodded. “In my day, the gift of an alicorn feather was a great boon to the recipient. We used them to mark those who had shown exceptional bravery in battle, or who had performed a feat that we deemed to be of great worth to others. It could also indicate a romantic interest, so Celly and I were always careful to clarify why the feather was being given,” she added with a snort of amusement. “In this modern era, much of that still remains. You, yourself, treat Philomina’s gift as a great treasure, so to outwardly display such a treasure would be the same to the Yaks as their own decorations. I am suggesting that wearing one of Celestia’s primaries, one of mine, and Philomina’s feather in your mane will establish your power and prestige to the ambassador and definitively mark you, in his eyes, as our equal.”

“THERE YOU ARE!” Celestia roared, and with a swift yank, the offending feather was removed and set ablaze by her magic. “Finally! Oh, that feels so much better.”

“Good thing, too,” Bean said while glancing at the bald patches in her wing. “Do we need to have Horsenpfeffer check you for lice or anything like that?”

“I don’t have lice,” Celestia said with a harrumph. “Why would you even suggest that?”

“Because I did, when I was about six or so. Picked it up from school.” Bean shuddered with the memory. “I don’t want to deal with that again.”

“You had lice too, Celly,” Luna noted.

“Everypony had lice a thousand years ago, Lulu. That hardly counts. Besides, I would not willingly bring any parasite near my son, so if I even had the slightest inkling of an infection, I would take care of it.” 

“However, you do bring up a valid point with the ambassador and Bean. A subtle display of power solves many problems before they start. You would not need to wear our feathers all the time, of course,” she said to Bean, “but I believe you should whenever you meet with Ambassador Horwitz. So,” she paused, glanced around at the aftermath of her efforts, pulled a long primary out of the mess with her magic, and placed it behind Bean’s left ear, “I, your wife Princess Celestia Bean, with all sorts of formal language, gift you, Baked Bean, with a token of my love and appreciation for all of your diligence and hard work for me, and for Equestria.”

A dark blue primary then floated over and slid underneath the white one. “What Celly said,” Luna remarked. “Just without the love part. You are a brother in all but blood to me, but we do not want ponies to get the wrong idea. I also grant unto you permission to refer to me as Lulu, if you would like,” she added with a small grin. “Since we are family, after all.”

“Thanks,” he said, a hoof reaching up to touch the presents he’d been given. “Should I grow my mane out, Celly? These might stay better if you had a way to braid them in.”

Celestia hummed in thought while looking him over. “I think the present length should suffice. A little magic will be enough to keep them in place. However, it is getting late and we should be preparing for bed. Luna, may I have Apollo?”

“I shall tend to him for the present.” Luna’s gaze fell to the new prince, and her contented smile returned. “Go and rest. I shall wake you if you are needed.”

“I’d rather take him now, if it’s all the same,” Celestia snipped back. “Since he is my son.”

“Temper, sister. Why disturb him now, when he is sleeping so soundly?”

“I want to make sure he’s fed before I retire. Unless you are offering to wet nurse him?”

“Certainly not. But I suspect that your desire to nurse is based more on a pair of swollen and painful teats than an attempt to avoid midnight feedings.”

“Do we need to get you some kind of pump?” Bean asked.

“If this pain and pressure is going to continue, then yes.” Celestia stood and shook a rear leg before crossing over to Luna. “This is so uncomfortable I can hardly walk. I won’t be able to sleep a wink like this.”

“I would advise you ‘get used to it,’ as they say,” Luna quipped. “I would also suggest finding something to cover his horn while he nurses. Unless you like being stabbed in those sensitive areas, of course. My Twilight drew blood when she was exceptionally hungry.”

“Maybe we could put a tennis ball on his horn,” Bean suggested. “That would work, wouldn’t it?”

“Probably,” Celestia said. “Now pass him over.”

“Very well.” Luna’s magic lifted and transferred Apollo to his mother. “I should be attending to my duties anyway. I believe Aunt Cannellini was next in line to take care of Apollo, when you are done with him. I shall check on their sleepover on my way out.”

“Thank you, Luna,” Celestia replied with a quick hug. “Have a good evening.”

“You as well, sister. Good night.” 


 * *  ✹ * * 

> 3. - The Ambassador
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Bean?” Celestia’s warm words caressed the outer edge of Bean’s ears before gently tickling the fine hairs on their way into his slumber. “Are you awake, love?”

“Nuh uh,” he grunted back, with a wiggle to push more of himself against her silky smooth coat. “Still asleep. Enjoying my Snugglestia time.”

“As am I.” His wife’s delicious laugh sent a tingling wave of delight right down the middle of his spine. “But if we don’t get up soon, we’ll be late to raise the sun.”

“Bah. Let it stay down. Nightmare Moon will love it.”

“Perhaps, but Luna most certainly will not. C’mon.” Celestia’s magic gently tugged on his tail. “We don’t want to be late to our meeting with Prince Blueblood, either.”

“Oh, fine.” Baked Bean peeked one eye, and he smiled when he saw the most perfect pair of eyes looking back at him. “But promise we come back to this later.”

“That may happen sooner than you think,” Celestia replied, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards. “Doctor Horsenpfeffer still has me on light duty, as it were, so after our meeting with Blueblood and the Ambassador, we have the rest of the day off. I just hope Ambassador Horwitz will be patient and understanding when I step out to take care of Apollo.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand. Besides, I get the feeling that the Yaks really want to normalize relations between our kingdoms, so at the very least, he should be tolerant of your situation. Yaks have new mothers too, after all.”

Celestia nodded as they both reluctantly rose from their peaceful resting positions. “I would have Mama Nana look after Apollo during our meetings, if he were older,” she remarked as she moved to her son’s crib. “It does not feel right to leave a three-day-old infant in the care of another when you and I are perfectly capable of tending to his needs.”

“Is he awake?”

“Not yet, but he is stirring,” Celestia said with a small smile. “I should have enough time to feed him before the meeting.”

“If not, I doubt it will be a big deal. Seems like Luna and Blueblood will be taking care of most everything today, since they’re the two most knowledgeable ponies in Canterlot about Yak customs. If you step away, I’ll just follow their lead.”

“A good idea, but please remember that you need not exclude yourself completely from the discussion,” Celestia gently said as they both walked out on the balcony. “As my husband, you have the authority to act as my voice and my will. If you feel that you should say something, please do so.”

“I dunno. You sure you can trust me with such a momentous responsibility?”

Celestia didn’t reply immediately. Instead, her horn lit, and as Bean once again reached out to the sun with her, he felt a powerful peace that could only be equaled by the love that they shared with each other.

“If I can trust you with my heart—and the sun—I think I can trust you with a Yak.” 


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Agh! The cuteness! It’s… too much!”

Bean couldn’t hold back his chuckle as the nearby guard clutched at his chest and leaned on his spear for support. “I think I need to take Apollo from you, Celly. You’re overloading the staff.”

“What?” Celestia tossed her mane back and stood a little taller, thus allowing her bright-eyed and babbling son in the carrier on her chest to be better seen by all. “I think he’s just fine right where he is. No need to disturb him.”

“Feeling a little mommy pride, are we?” Luna quipped with a wry grin. 

“I see nothing wrong with taking some contentment in presenting the fruits on one’s own labors,” said Celestia as another guard groaned and went weak in the knees. “Especially given the labor I went through with him.”

“I shall tell Miss Lulamoon to make sure we add supplemental heart attack coverage to the insurance, then.”

“Stop that,” Celestia said with a deep smile. “They’ll be fine.”

“I hope so,” Bean added as he pushed open the door to their conference room. “After you, ladies.”

“Ah, Your Highnesses!” Prince Blueblood quickly rose from his seat, hesitated for a moment when his eyes moved to the tiny Prince in his carrier, cleared his throat as his front legs wobbled slightly, bowed, and then motioned to the empty chairs across the table. “Iron will, Blueblood. Stay strong,” he muttered before smiling. “And young Prince Apollo! Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. Please, have a seat. There is much to cover, and Ambassador Horwitz is eager to meet you.”

“Thank you, Blueblood,” Celestia replied as she, Baked Bean, and Luna moved to the offered chairs.

Blueblood waited for the royals before sitting himself, and with a grin, he pointed to the trio of feathers that were now tucked behind Baked Bean’s left ear. “Ah! I see Auntie Luna has already mentioned the importance of ornamentation. The ambassador is fairly reasonable, as far as yaks go, but the display of alicorn feathers should prevent any conflicts regarding your status as Celestia’s husband. Horwitz will not question your word or your authority. 

“Actually,” started Bean, “one of them is a phoenix feather, since—”

“Don’t be too specific when engaged in diplomacy,” cautioned Blueblood. “Now, I am sure that Auntie Luna has given you both some brief details regarding Yaks and their customs.” Blueblood’s horn lit, his magic shut the door to the conference room, and from somewhere beneath the table, he produced three manilla folders. “So, I will keep my remarks brief this morning. Auntie Celestia, Horwitz has been apprised of your newborn son, so he understands that you may not be available for a time as you tend to Apollo and your own needs. Yaks place the greatest value on the health of their offspring, and believe that a mother and her child should be given ample time to bond.

“In these folders, I have compiled a summary of Yak customs and traditions, for you to review at your leisure,” he went on as he passed them out. “These are, obviously, not all-encompassing, but they should provide you with the essential basics. You are all aware of yak predilection for smashing, so I have taken the liberty of removing the more expensive and historical pieces of furniture from any area where Ambassador Horwitz is likely to lose his temper. Fortunately for us, Horwitz is the most even-tempered and open-minded yak I’ve met, so if you were hoping to rid yourself of a few more of those garish paintings that you dislike, Aunt Celestia, then I’m afraid you’ll have to destroy them yourself.”

Celestia hummed a thoughtful note. “A tempting idea, but those pieces that did survive my wrath when the fake Bean was exposed have already been removed from the palace and put into a secure storage vault. Everything in the palace is now reproductions and copies.”

Blueblood nodded, obviously attempting to hide a smile at the way Apollo was entranced by his outfit. “In all other respects, the Ambassador is a fairly typical example of yaks in general. They are loud, stubbornly convinced of their own superiority in all physical aspects, argumentative, decidedly lacking in grace or subtlety, and fiercely loyal to those whom they consider friends. They enjoy smashing, contests that pit the strength of one against another, spending time with family, smashing, fine poetry, pottery, epic tales of glorious battles gone by, smashing, and other various hobbies that vary between individuals, just like us. Given the clime of the northern mountains, yaks are quite fond of nearly every winter sport you can name, and excel in a great many of them.”

“Has any progress been made in their acceptance of pony customs and traditions?” Luna asked.

“Some. Pinkie Pie has been most helpful in that regard, I must confess. Horwitz in particular is very accepting of our different cultures and customs, but I would expect him to proudly proclaim that yak traditions are superior to ours. Yaks, in general, tend to see things in relation to how it affects them, and more importantly, their pride. They abhor the thought of being defeated or being seen as weak, but are willing to accept such setbacks in time, and with a fair amount of smashing.”

“Sounds like some of my customers back home,” Bean quipped.

“Which is why I think you will do well with the yaks, Uncle Bean.” Blueblood smiled broadly. “Your unique experience as a restaurateur will be most beneficial, as they are, indeed, much like a temperamental patron. Your ability to cater to their various demands will, undoubtedly, resolve many problems before they begin.”

“Really? You actually think I’ll be useful?” Bean glanced at his wife, who smiled and kissed his nose, then added one for their son, who had been very good so far and deserved a reward. 

“That’s all there is to it. Your background and skill from the Zuerst will translate well in this particular circumstance. If you treat Ambassador Horwitz like a troublesome patron, then you will either resolve all of his concerns or run him out of Canterlot. Given what I know of you, I am confident it will be the former.”

“I’ll do my best, then,” he said thoughtfully. “You didn’t happen to bring a yak cookbook with you, perchance?”

“Now why would I bring one of their cookbooks?” Blueblood asked with an ill-hidden smirk. “Prince Bean, I have been living among a bunch of temperamental and easily angered yaks for the last year. I have been a student of their culture, their language, and their fickle demands for Yak perfection. Of course I brought a cookbook.” Blueblood’s magic teleported in a large tome, bound by thick gold clasps and with several thin bookmarks protruding from the lower edge. “However, I am still working on the translation from yakki to equish, so I have only a few recipes available. Since you have mentioned it, I was going to ask if you wouldn’t mind preparing a light luncheon for the Ambassador to enjoy during our meetings today. He will be most pleased to have a meal from his home country.”

“Sure, I’ll give it a shot,” Bean replied. “Hopefully it isn’t anything too strange.”

“I think you’ll find their cuisine to be surprisingly robust. I was able to survive on it for nearly a year, after all. I may have also put on a few pounds. Yak portions are just as exuberant as the rest of their culture. Now, allow me to move into a brief history of Yakyakistan…”

 
 * *  ✹ * * 


“...and that is all I have for you at this time,” Blueblood concluded. “As a last note, I would like to emphasize that there are still a great many Yak customs that I am unfamiliar with, so I am sure Ambassador Horwitz will be more than happy to fill in the gaps when we come to them.”

“Of course,” Luna said as they all stood. “I would hardly expect anything less.”

“Prince Bean?” Blueblood dipped his head in deference again, and his gaze remained on the floor. “May I have a few private words with you before we meet with Horwitz?”

“Uh, sure?” Bean glanced at Celestia, who bobbed her eyebrows and winked at him. “Is something wrong?”

“I would like to discuss that alone, if I may.”

“We’ll be in the hallway,” Celestia said with her most imperious tone. “I believe it’s time for Apollo’s feeding. Come, Luna.”

The Two Sisters left without further comment, and Bean swallowed hard as the door shut behind them. Did Prince Blueblood still harbor some ill will towards him?

“Thank you for granting me this private audience, Prince Bean,” Blueblood began as he straightened. “I… I admit, I felt some trepidation coming into this meeting, and I greatly appreciate your peaceful demeanor, to say nothing of your son and his good behavior in my presence.”

“Of course. You’ve clearly put a lot of work into this, Blueblood, and I thank you for sharing it with me.”

Blueblood nodded. “Permit me, then, to get right to the point. Your Highness, I wish to again beg for your forgiveness in regards to my prior actions towards you. I allowed my hubris to blind me to your skill and your worth, and my unsympathetic words are the direct reason you have suffered grievous injuries to your leg that, as I understand it, will never fully heal. Had I been more accepting and open upon your arrival, I believe I would have found a friend and an ally.”

Ah, so that's what this is about. Bean allowed a good natured smile to spread across his face, and he put a hoof on Blueblood’s shoulder. “Tirek is the one to blame for my bum leg, not you. I don’t blame you for what happened. Besides, I would have defied my wife’s orders, no matter what you did. Whatever happened between us in the past can stay there, for all I care, and I look forward to moving into the future with you as my friend.”

“That is most generous of you, and thank you. For what it is worth, I am committed to being, for now and forevermore, your staunchest friend and servant.”

“That is worth quite a bit, then. But I don’t know that I like that servant stuff. How about we say we’re fellow chefs, both cooking in the same kitchen now?”

“An apt analogy.” Blueblood stuck out his hoof, and Bean shook it with no hesitation. “Thank you again, My Prince. I look forward to serving with you.”

“As am I.” The two of them turned to leave, but then a thought came to Bean. “Say, do you mind if I ask what happened to Lady Chrysanthemum?”

Blueblood’s smile faltered and faded from view. “Ah, yes. A worthy question, and one I don’t mind answering. Your Highness, I’m afraid the Lady Chrysanthemum terminated all association with me while we were on our way to re-establish communication with Yakyakistan last year. I have not seen or heard from her since we passed through the Crystal Empire. It would seem that, once again, I was being manipulated because of my status and connections. She was using me as a means to achieve her desire to study the crystals of the Empire.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Think nothing of it. Such has been the lot of my life, so the treachery is not new nor surprising.” Blueblood hesitated, his gaze distant for a moment, but then he forced out a smile. “Besides, I have a doting cousin who will be more than happy to ‘fix’ my love life, as she puts it.”

“Yeah, knowing Cadence, she’s probably got a half-dozen mares already vetted and waiting for you,” Bean said with a light laugh. “I’m sure you’ll find somepony special soon.”

“Perhaps. Whatever happens in my personal life, however, I shall remain committed to you, to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, and to establishing Yakyakistan as a perpetual friend to Equestria.”

“Between you and me, do you think it will be difficult? I’ve never met a yak before.”

“All in all, I doubt there will be much resistance or difficulties,” Blueblood said confidently. “Forgive me of some pride, but my efforts in Yakyakistan have been most productive, and Prince Rutherford himself is eager to normalize relations between our nations again. He realizes that both yaks and ponies have much to gain from each other, but opening the border will benefit his yaks and his kingdom far more than it will benefit us.”

“Ah. How do they feel about the whole Sombra incident?”

Blueblood paused and gave Bean a surprised look. “You’re familiar with the fall of the Empire? I’m impressed.”

“I wouldn’t call myself an expert by any means,” Bean said with a scoff. “Most of what I know I picked up from helping Luna with Star Struck’s biography.”

“Tell me, what do you know of the incident?”

“Mostly just the highlights, probably. Sombra rose to power and took over the Crystal Empire in an effort to control all magic across Equestria. He enslaved the crystal ponies, then raised a mind-controlled army and attacked any who would dare to oppose him, including Celly and the Yaks. Eventually my wife and Luna banished him to shadow and ice, until he returned and was dealt with permanently by Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess Cadence, Prince Shining Armor, and Spike the Brave and Glorious.”

Blueblood nodded. “Sombra’s attack upon Yakyakistan destroyed all goodwill between us and them in an instant. The yaks were blindsided and deeply injured by the assault, and they did not see a difference between the enslaved ponies and Equestria’s regular military forces. To them, it was as if Celestia herself had inexplicably declared war upon them, and it was a war they knew they could not win. They did not question why the fighting suddenly ended, they simply took the opportunity to retreat and build up their defenses against us. The later Sasquachiary Wars—or what little news they received of it, at any rate—convinced them to remain isolated and on high alert, and thus it remained until Sombra’s final defeat. It was only then that Prince Rutherford was able to convince his ruling councils that overtures should be cautiously extended to Equestria once again.

“The answer to your question is straightforward enough: the Yaks still harbor some distrust and concern, but the majority are willing to open relations with us again. They realize that open borders would bring greater opportunities and fortunes for themselves, and they would like to make new friends, thanks to Pinkie Pie’s influence and efforts. The establishment of an Embassy will be a tremendous boost, and I am confident that they will have forgotten their concerns by this time next year.”       
 
“I hope so. Just let me know what I need to do.”

“I will. For now, just be yourself, Your Highness. My work will be simplified, amplified, and expedited if Ambassador Horwitz is met with friendly and understanding ponies, and his subsequent positive reports back to Yakyakistan will further our mutual goals.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Is it bad that I’m a little nervous?” Bean glanced up to his wife with a slight frown before turning his attention to Apollo in his carrier and his efforts to eat his own forehoof. “I mean, I’m sure everything will be fine, but I still can’t help but worry about doing something wrong.”

Celestia glanced to Blueblood and Luna, then dipped her head to whisper in Bean’s ear. “To be honest, I’m a bit nervous too. There’s nothing wrong with that. The trick is to funnel that nervous energy into confidence, much like how you would turn anticipation into results at your long distance track competitions.”

Bean mulled this idea over for a moment, then smiled. “You know, you really need to show me how you do that.”

“Do what?” she replied with a matching smile of her own.

“Take my concerns and utterly destroy them with just a few comforting words of encouragement.”

Celestia scoffed. “As with a great many things, the answer is simply love. What I say matters very little when you feel my desire to comfort and assist you.”

“And believe me, that has made all the difference.”

“As it has for me.” Celestia kissed his cheek, and Bean felt a deep warmth spread from his ears to his tail. 

“Thank you.”

“Anytime. You’ll do just fine, my Bean.” 

“Here we are,” Blueblood announced as he stopped in front of one of the guest suites. “I felt it might be best to meet with the ambassador in a more informal setting.”

“A wise choice. We would wish for our guest to be comfortable, after all,” Luna replied.

Blueblood nodded, turned to the door, and raised his hoof to knock. However, he never got the chance. Before Blueblood even touched the door, it was ripped off its hinges and flung to one side, making space for a giant wall of fur that lunged forward through the open doorway and wrapped around the surprised unicorn.

“BLUEBLOOD!” The massive Yak roared with delight. “Yak was beginning to wonder when Pony Blueblood would bring Princesses! Come, come! Yak has much to talk about with ponies!”

Bean, Celestia, and Luna all stifled their laughter over this amusing and enthusiastic greeting, but Celestia led them into the spacious and relaxing lounge area while Horwitz continued to cackle with delight. Bean took a moment to look over the plush velvet chaises and intricately carved tables that were scattered about, and then finally to the yak ambassador.

He wasn’t quite what Baked Bean had expected, but he was close. Horwitz was a large creature, standing nearly as tall as his wife—or perhaps a smidge taller, if one included the massive horns—with a light grey face and dull blonde mane that stretched down and became an impressive, nearly floor-length beard. Unlike most yaks that Bean had seen pictures and drawings of, Horwitz had pulled his mane out of his face and back into a loose bun, allowing anypony to see his dark brown eyes and pince-nez glasses that were perched near the end of his nose. A blue rug—or what looked like one, since the official name of that particular article of clothing was not coming to Bean at that moment—rested comfortably on his back, and, of course, several gold bracelets were hung on his tail, around his ankles, and one large one kept his beard gathered together. He seemed to be a rather pleasant sort of fellow, and Bean felt another wave of ease come over him as Horwitz released Blueblood and turned to Luna. 

“Ah, Princess Luna! Yak not see you since you left Yakyakistan.”

“It’s good to see you again, Horwitz,” Luna replied as he bowed to her. “I trust everything is well?”

Horwitz barked out a loud laugh. “Only problem is cute midnight Princess left Yaks without saying goodbye! Yaks have missed Luna and want you to visit again.”

A subtle hint of red came to Luna’s cheeks, but she kept her composure even and calm. “I would like to visit again as well.”

Horwitz then turned to face Celestia, but he squealed in delight and dropped to his front knees to be eye level with Apollo as soon as he saw him. “HA! Princesses bring tiny pony foal! Almost as cute as yak calves, and even has horn!” The thoroughly enamored ambassador cooed, babbled, and jingled his foreleg bracelets in front of Apollo, who instantly took an intense interest in the golden trinkets, and would probably snatch them away if not for the lack of motor control. “Yak loves baby calves and baby foals. Yak wants qiza to have many grandchildren for yak to spoil, but yak only has Yona so far. Qiza is still young, though,” he said with a knowing wink.

“And Princess Celestia! Yak is honored to meet you.” Horwitz stood so he could properly bow to the daytime diarch. “Princess Luna and Pony Blueblood have told Yaks many tales about how noble pony leader has smashed her enemies, like how yaks would! Yak and ponies will be great friends.”

“I am looking forward to deepening our relations as well, Ambassador,” Celestia said.

“But who is yellow pony?” Horwitz now turned his gaze to Baked Bean, but once he did, his eyes widened and he let out a loud gasp of alarm. Half a second later, the massive yak was completely prostrated before the befuddled prince. The ambassador was saying something in rapid, humble tones from his native language, but Bean couldn’t even begin to guess what he was saying, let alone figure out why Horwitz was acting this way.

“Um, hi?” he offered.

“Yak is most humbled to be in presence of Feniks Kuşunun Asıl Dosu,” Horwitz offered in deep reverence and humiliation. “Yak did not know he would be meeting one of the Favored.”

“Favored?” Bean asked, with a glance over to Luna and Blueblood, who both shrugged. “Forgive me, Ambassador, but I’m afraid I’m not quite sure what you mean.”

Horwitz pointed to the trio of feathers behind Bean’s ear with a trembling hoof. “You wear sacred gift from Feniks, noble Prince. You are Ot Kayra Jaralgan, granted power and honor from the Everlasting.”

There was a healthy pause with this revelation, and then another, and almost a third one before Bean spoke. “I’m afraid I still don’t understand.” Bean absentmindedly reached up and touched the feathers while he tried to process what was going on. “Feniks. Wait. Are you referring to the phoenix feather?”

“Phoenix?” Horwitz slowly stood, but his look of awe remained. “That unfamiliar pony word. Prince wears feathers of Day, of Night, and of Feniks in mane.”

“Okay, so phoenix and feniks are the same thing,” Bean thoughtfully said. “Forgive me for asking, but why do you think this feather is so important?”

“In Yakyakistan, Feniks is important and sacred demigod,” Horwitz said softly. “Feniks bring fire to Yak in long-ago past, save first yaks from freezing in cold mountain homes. Only very few yak see Feniks since then. If yak sees Feniks, Yak blessed with long life and much gold. If lucky to get Feather of Feniks, then yak is given great power and ability. Prince Ulysses was given Feniks feather, and used power to create Yakyakistan.”

“That would have been nice to know,” Blueblood muttered under his breath. “How did I miss that?”

“So, by wearing the feather of the Feniks, Prince Baked Bean is, in your eyes, equal to the Feniks itself?” Luna asked, one corner of her mouth twitching upwards. 

“Yak pledges himself to eternal service of Great and Powerful Prince,” Horwitz said while prostrating himself before Bean once more. “Prince’s word shall be Yak’s command.”

“I’m not going to order you around,” Bean said quickly, his eyes widening in alarm. “Please, Ambassador, rise. You really don’t need to show me all this deference. I’m just a pony, nothing more.” 

“Not to mention the fact that Trixie will be upset that you are moving in on her territory,” Luna added with a snort of amusement. 

“If Feniks Kuşunun Asıl Dosu does not want Yak to give him honor he deserves, then Yak will not. Yak must still bow and give much respect Feniks Kuşunun Asıl Dosu, as required by ancient tradition.”

Bean started to protest again, but his words were cut off when Celestia whispered in his ear. “Don’t push this anymore, Love. Let him give you the respect that he thinks you deserve. If you keep telling him to stop, it will be disrespectful to his culture and traditions.”      

“Okay,” Bean whispered back with a nod. “But I still don’t like it.”

“Welcome to my world.” Celestia nipped his ear. 

“Yak understand why Princess Celestia picked Prince Bean now,” Horwitz continued, but then a confused look came. “But, why is Prince called Baked Bean? Prince is pony, not food.”

Blueblood chuckled. “Here we go.”

“Why would I be a food?” Bean asked.

“Ponies have names that tell what pony is,” Horwitz said matter-of-factly. “Celestia raises sun, Luna raises moon. Pinkie Pie is pink, Pony Blueblood is noble. So Baked Bean should be food, not pony.”

“Pony Blueblood?” Celestia took a turn in this impromptu question-and-answer session.

“Pony Blueblood,” Horwitz confirmed with a firm nod. “Blueblood is not Prince, so why say he is?”

“I did neglect to mention that Yaks can be literal-minded at times,” Blueblood added. “Since I am not a prince by birth or by rank, the yaks refuse to refer to me as such.”

“Blueblood not tell Yak that Prince Bean named wrong,” Horwitz added. “Baked Bean is not bean at all! Prince Not-a-Bean!” he guffawed and slammed a hoof to the ground over his joke. 

“I’ve been called worse,” Bean said with a bemused shake of his head. “If you want to call me Not-a-Bean, that’s fine.”

There was a brief pause, and Horwitz took a moment to study Prince Bean with an intense stare. Once that moment was over, though, the ambassador let out a deep laugh that rattled the windows in their panes.

“Prince Not-a-Bean! Ponies are funny creatures. Bring much amusement to Yak! Ponies and Yak sure to get along, since Feniks Kuşunun Asıl Dosu has good sense of humor!”

“I certainly hope so, Ambassador,” Bean replied.

“Come! Sit! Ponies and Yak still have much to talk about! Yak want to hear tale of how Princess’ nose picked Not-a-Bean and created marriage.”

“I’d be more than happy to tell you the story,” Bean replied with a grin. 
 

 * *  ✹ * * 


“Well, that was weird,” Bean muttered to Luna as they walked towards the kitchen. “I never thought I would be compared to a demigod. Should we tell Horwitz about Philomina?”

“It may be best to avoid that topic for now,” Luna replied. “At least until we better understand the details and the legend of their Feniks. But given that my sister is also seen as god-like to the Yaks, I imagine that Horwitz would not be surprised when he does find out.”

“Just Celly?” Bean gave her a nudge and a wink. “C’mon, fess up. I’m sure you’ve got some divinity in you too, given your moon juggling skills.”

“Alas—or perhaps, thankfully—the Yaks consider me to be just a pony. An extraordinary pony with wings and a horn, yes, but still a pony in the end. I would be willing to wager that you will outrank me in their eyes, O Favored of the Feniks,” she said with a bob of her eyebrows.

“Yaks don’t see you as divine?” Bean asked with surprise. “I really thought they did.”

“Celestia never betrayed her sister, for one,” Luna noted. “Nor has she ever been banished for any length of time. Celly’s reputation and status has done nothing but grow over the last thousand years, while I am still new and lacking in notoriety. Or, at least in the positive sense. I do know that Nightmare Moon is very much a part of their culture, in a similar way to how I was seen in Equestria.”

“Really?”

Luna nodded. “In Yakyakistan, Nightmare Moon is the Demon of Darkness, a plague that tried to blot out the sun and destroy everything that yaks hold dear. The legend states that, even during my banishment to the moon, I continued to wage an eternal war against Celestia. My evil darkness would wax stronger and spread further during the autumn season and into winter, until reaching a peak at the winter solstice. Celly would then drive back the dark with her light, until peaking at the summer solstice, and then the pattern would repeat.”

“So, what happened when you returned?” Bean asked. 

“Not much,” Luna said with a note of indifference. “The legend went on, even with the knowledge that I was no longer the nightmare, just like how Nightmare Night continues. Remember that you, yourself, once thought phoenixes to be nothing more than myth, and even after meeting one, you still hold many of the same beliefs about them that you did before. There are some stories and legends that are so ingrained in a culture that even knowing the full truth will not dislodge them. They become a part of who you are, and why you are what you are.”

“That’s true.” Bean mulled over this thought for a moment, then filed it away for further consideration at a later time. “I gotta admit, everything else after that went well, even after Celly stepped out early to take care of Apollo.”

“This meeting was more of a formality than anything. It reassured the Ambassador that the highest levels of government in Equestria wish to establish favorable relations, and with that, Blueblood will be able to tend to the details, as it were. You have done well, Bean.”

“Thanks, but let’s hold off on the praise until after lunch. I might just undo everything if I botch this meal.”

“I doubt that will be an issue. A chef of your caliber and skill will have no problem cooking one exotic meal, of that I am sure.”

“I hope so, but thank you for the vote of confidence.” Bean smiled, then nodded down the hallway. “I’m gonna go check in on Celly real quick and see if she needs anything.”

Luna simply nodded, and the two parted ways, but a gurgling laugh caught Bean's ear just as he rounded the last corner. With a slight smirk, he angled over to the open nursery door. Celestia had disappeared early in the meeting to tend to Apollo, but he didn’t mind. Based on the cooing that was mixing in with the laughter, mother and son were now enjoying some well-deserved time together.

Baked Bean paused in the doorway, then leaned against the frame as he took in the precious sight. Celestia was resting comfortably on the floor, her forelegs crossed in front of her and Apollo carefully held in them. His tiny hooves squirmed and wiggled in random motions, but the delighted smile on his face was proof that the newborn prince was enjoying his mother’s undivided attention.



Momlestia by Sipioc


“Are you talking to Mommy, little Sunflower?” Celestia dipped down and nuzzled her son, which set off another round of delighted squeals. “My goodness! You just have so much to tell me, don’t you? Please, do not spare the details. I’ll always be here to listen, no matter what.”  

Baked Bean had known happiness before. He had felt it during his childhood, when he successfully mastered new recipes and brought home report cards loaded with excellent grades. He had felt happiness in quiet moments at home, a contented peace that he shared with his parents after an uneventful day of work at the Zuerst. And, perhaps most importantly of all, he had felt a deeper happiness and joy than he’d ever felt before with Celestia, and that joy had steadily grown day by day and moment by moment. 

But now, as he watched his cherished wife and his newborn son, a new sort of happiness sprung out of his heart, spread across his chest, and filled his body with a warmth that he couldn’t really compare to anything else. The perfection of this moment touched his soul in a way that nothing else could, and a profound gratitude for what he had and where his life had been led to. 

In that moment, with the overwhelming serenity enveloping him in radiant bliss, Baked Bean came to a determined resolution. It was not a new design, nor one that had ever been in question before, but his commitment to it was reinforced and doubled.

Baked Bean, no matter what, would always be there for his wife, his son, and for the future family he was sure to have. They would never want for his time, his attention, his affection, or anything else he could possibly give to them. 

“Bean!” Celestia called out, and her soft smile threatened to buckle Bean’s knees with an overload of joy. “I didn’t see you there. Are you alright?”

“Never been better,” he replied. “I’m just enjoying your conversation.”

“He’s been quite talkative today, haven’t you?” she said as her attention turned back to Apollo. “Yes! So much to see, and to do, isn’t there?”

Apollo replied to this with a series of cheerful noises and a small raspberry.

“There always is,” Bean replied with a small sigh. “I was just on my way to get lunch ready. Did you need anything before I go?”

“I believe Apollo and I are fine,” Celestia said. “Don’t worry about us.”

“Okay. Just send Trixie over if you do need something. I’ll bring you something light once I get done with the Ambassador's meal.

“Until then, my love.” Celestia blew him a kiss, which Bean deftly caught with a hoof and placed on his own lips.

“Until then.”


 * *  ✹ * * 

> 4. - Couples
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Quill! I’m back!” Wysteria kicked her front door shut with a rear hoof, dropped her clipboard on the entryway table, and moved towards her front room. “Is everything okay?”

“Just fine,” Quillpoint called back. “I just got the twins to sleep.”

“How have they been?” Wysteria asked as a smile overtook her and refused to leave. Her beloved sergeant was sitting in the overstuffed recliner, a precious bundle of sleeping filly in each foreleg, and she gave him a kiss before looking Elegant Flourish and Lilac Inkwell over.

“Pretty good for the most part. I changed their diapers not too long ago, but they’ll probably be hungry when they wake up.”

“Is it bad that I want them to be weaned already?” Wysteria said with a shake of her head. “I mean, I don’t really want them to be, of course, but I am looking forward to the day when they can eat solids. I feel like a dairy cow with overactive udders right now.”

“I’m sure you do. Still, let’s not rush it. They’ll grow up faster than we want them to anyway, so I don’t want to speed up the process and have them moved out by next month.”

Wysteria snickered. “Gee, my parents couldn’t wait to kick me out. But you do have a good point.”

“How did everything go at the palace?” Quill asked as Wysteria retreated a step and removed her secretarial collar.

“It was fine. Trixie is handling everything pretty well without me, so she and the Princesses agreed that I should take the rest of the month off.”

“You didn’t hurt your incision at all, did you?” 

“No, it’s fine. I was sitting the whole time.”

“I don’t know why I’m so paranoid about that, especially when you’re not.” Quill shook his head at himself, then gave the twins a slight wiggle. “Do you want to trade? I can get dinner going so you can relax.”

“Maybe in a minute. I need to correlate some notes first, and I should probably use the bathroom, too. It’ll just take me a few minutes.”

“Okay. I’m serious about dinner, though.”

“I’ll let you handle it, don’t worry.” Wysteria chided playfully. “Oh! Lieutenant Spear Point also wanted me to tell you, quote, ‘Tell my Corporal that he needs to get his sorry rump back into formation already,’ unquote.”

“Have there been problems at the palace while I’ve been out?” he asked with some concern. “Chrysalis tried to do something, didn’t she?”

“No, there’s been absolutely no problems at all, which is probably making Pointy nervous,” Wysteria called over her shoulder as she moved to the restroom, which thankfully was close enough that she could continue her conversation, provided she left the door open. “Chrysalis is still leeching off Hokey Pokey, but Spear still has a couple of guards tailing the pair and reporting back to him and the Captain. Oh, speaking of which, both Captain Armor and Princess Cadence will be in Canterlot next week, after Apollo’s crystalling. I guess they want to meet with Ambassador Horwitz while they’re here.” 

“That explains why Lieutenant Point wants me back,” Quill replied. “Would you be okay here by yourself if I did go back to work?”

“Yes and no. I think I could handle the twins, but it would be a lot easier if you were here to assist me. I wonder…”

“Wonder what?” Quill asked after a moment.

“I was just thinking that I might be able to ‘borrow’ Mama Nana for a bit. Princess Celestia did say I could, after all.”

“She did? If the offer still stands, then that might work. I don’t like the idea of leaving you here alone.”

“I’ll send a message to Trixie and see if something can be arranged. Odds are Celestia will send Mama Nana over as soon as she gets it.”

“I could see that happening. Mind sending a message to the Lieutenant for me while you’re at it?”

“I’ll let him know.”

“Out of curiosity, does Trixie still burp up the messages when she gets them, or did she ever figure out how to receive them normally?”

“She knows how to get them the normal way, but more often than not, she burps them up still. Something about grossing out the nobility, and Prince Bean just chuckles and makes the same old ‘better out than in, I always say’ joke.”

“Sounds about right.” Quill paused as Wysteria washed her hooves, then continued as she walked back to him. “I’ll have to compare dad jokes with him when I go back.”

“Oh, great. That’s just what our daughters need.” Wysteria kissed her smirking special somepony. “But it was inevitable, I suppose.”

“I’m not too worried. Your elegance and intelligence will cancel out my lameness, I’m sure.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” she dryly shot back. “But I do hope they pick up on your devotion and organizational skills.”

Quill scoffed. “Are you kidding? These two are going to have massive obsessive-compulsive problems thanks to us. If anything, we’re going to have to teach them how to relax.”

“I suppose that means we’ll need to learn first.” Wysteria tapped her chin and gave Quill a playful glare. “So, having said that, when are you going to take me on another date, mm?”

“How about tonight, if you’re feeling up to it? We can head over to that pasta place over in the Quarter.”

“That does sound good. We haven’t been there since we broke up, have we?” Wysteria bit her bottom lip for a moment in thought. “That’s where you took me on our first date, too. That’s fitting, then.”

“Fitting? How so?”

Wysteria didn’t immediately reply. A surge of joy had just attacked her, and a few tears of happiness trickled out as she tried to keep her composure. “I want to talk about marrying you. Where else would be better?”

“Marriage?” Quill’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? I thought we were going to wait and give us some time.”

“We did, but I’ve had a change of mind. It’s the most sensible thing to do, really.”

“It is?” One of Quill’s eyebrows slid up into his mane. “What do you mean?”

“Tax breaks.” Wysteria said with glee. “If we file jointly, and with two kids, we’ll get a massive refund next year.”

Quill rolled his eyes with a laugh. “Of course. How very practical. I suppose we should plan a date and begin preparations while we’re out, then?”

“That would be prudent, yes,” Wysteria said. “But you’d better get me a ring, too.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“You are a cruel, cruel stallion, you know that?” Chrysalis huffed.

“I am?” Hokey Pokey flashed an innocent smile, propped his elbows on the table, and rested his chin in his forehooves. “Do tell.”

“I should have seen this coming from a mile away and changed into anything but myself.” The Queen of Lovey Dovey Smoochy Land glanced around the tavern, then wilted slightly when all she saw in return were hard glares and deep frowns, only not quite as bitter as she expected. In fact, there was a thin thread of… relief in the air? “You’re trying to make me feel guilty for my checkered past, aren’t you? Well, it’s not going to work, you know. I regret nothing!” she proclaimed before throwing back what was left in her tankard.

“I wasn’t trying to do anything,” Pokey said defensively. “You’re the one who always insists on coming to the Phoenix Fire. You really should tell me when you stop liking a place.”

“It was different when I wasn’t me,” Chrysalis shot back. 

“Was it easier for you to forget that ponies have a very real and legitimate reason for disliking you when you looked like us?”

“Oh, you’re an absolute riot, you know that?” Chrysalis snarled. 

“You didn’t deny it,” Pokey noted over the top of his own glass. “Blame me all you want, but it’s not my fault that you feel guilty.”

“Yes it is. Everything is your fault.”

“If you say so.”

Chrysalis slumped into her seat more as the bartender began to weave towards them. “Look, just level with me. Why are you so insistent on parading me around Canterlot without any kind of disguise? It’s gotta be some sort of horrible attempt at punishing me.”

“Evening, Hoke. Chrysalis.” The bartender took a moment to wipe the impeccably clean table free of any microscopic mess before placing a large fluted glass before the buggy Queen. 

“Evening, Trigger,” Pokey replied.

“Need a refill?” Trigger asked, then nodded when Pokey grunted in the affirmative. “Right then.”

“What is this?” Chrysalis sniffed the oddly fragrant concoction before her, then licked up one of the strawberries that was hanging from the rim.  

“Just a simple strawberry daiquiri, Your Majesty,” Trigger replied. “Normally I’d salt the rim and add some lime, but you look like you needed something extra sweet tonight.”

Chrysalis let out an involuntary chirrup of confusion. “Why?”

“Sure looks to me like you’re getting quite a bit of bitter from the patrons tonight,” Trigger replied in a smooth and even tone. “So, I thought I’d sweeten things up for you. Try and even things out a little.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” Trigger bobbed his eyebrows before beginning his retreat. “I’ll be right back with another round for you, Hoke.”

Chrysalis finished chewing her strawberry, then licked another one off the rim of her glass. “Did I tell you ponies are weird?” she added through the chewing.

Pokey shrugged. “Maybe some of them appreciate having you out in plain sight instead of worrying about what you’re plotting in the shadows.”      

“You have a really bad sense of humor, you know that?”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny,” said Pokey with a shrug. “If you’re here with me, that means you’re not trying to impersonate another pony and take over Equestria yet again. Thus, despite the expressed hostility, every pony in this bar can relax and enjoy their evening more fully. You’re contained and controlled here, like a tiger in a cage at the zoo.”

Chrysalis let out a small, annoyed harrumph. “So that’s what you’re doing. Just have to parade me around Canterlot, to boast and brag. ‘Behold! I, Hokey Pokey, have tamed the wild and mysterious Queen Chrysalis! Come and gawk at this once mighty creature who used to be the stuff of the darkest nightmares!’”

“Right,” Pokey said with an amused snort. “As if any pony could truly tame you.”

The statement brought a tiny thrill of joy that made Chrysalis sit up a bit straighter and smile slightly. “A fact that I suggest you remember, my Pokey-poo.”

“With that being the case, it thus becomes impossible for me to ‘parade’ you around,” Pokey went on. “Nopony in their right mind takes an unrestrained wild animal into a major city.”

Chrysalis leaned back and frowned. “If you’re quite done with giving me the runaround, I’d like a straight answer out of you at some point, please.” 

“Here you go, Hoke.” Trigger’s timely appearance prevented a reply, a full tankard with a perfect head of foam drawing Pokey’s attention away from the Queen. 

“Keep ‘em coming, Trig.”

“Say, since I have you here, Your Majesty, let me ask you something.” Trigger pulled over a free chair and sat with a devious gleam in his eye.

“I don’t have to explain my motivations to you,” Chrysalis replied with a haughty sniff.

Trigger scoffed. “Trust me, we all gave up on trying to understand you a long time ago. What I want to know is why you still hang around with this sorry sack,” he said with a jab of the hoof towards Pokey. “I don’t get it, personally. I mean, I’ll be the first to admit that a bar is a terrible place to pick up a date, but is he really the best you can get?”

“Hilarious as always,” Pokey grumped before taking a long draft. 

Chrysalis, however, was willing to play this game, and she grinned. “I suppose I could go find that first stallion. What was his name?” She made a show of tapping her chin, her gaze subtly taking in the suddenly concerned look on her sweet Babboo’s face. “Some sort of color, I believe.” She tisked, sipped her daiquiri, and smacked her lips. “I just can’t think of it. Too much to drink tonight, I suppose.”

“Between you and me, I’d go find him,” Trigger said. “Hoke here is far too uptight for his own good.”

“I’ve told him that many times,” Chrysalis replied, her grin growing. “So there’s your answer. As soon as I break him, my work here will be done and I can go back to the hive.”

“Good luck with that. Hoke is thick as a brick and twice as rock-hard in the noggin.” Trigger stood, put his chair back where he’d gotten it from, and let out a small chuckle. “Once you do get back, you should really consider organizing a changeling invasion pub trot. It’d be great for business. I’ll even give all bugs an additional five percent off during happy hour.”

“Prepare to be invaded, then. Changelings are the cheapest misers you’ll ever meet.”

“Lookin’ forward to it.”

With that, Trigger made his way to his customary position behind the bar, stopping briefly to check on another patron. Chrysalis watched his return for a moment, took another sip of the delightfully fruity concoction that she’d been given, then gave a wink to her succulent centurion.

“At least somepony around here likes me,” she noted.

Pokey rolled his eyes. “You should go move in with Trig, then. Save me a fortune on the grocery bill.”   
  
“Tempting,” she said with a wistful glance over to the potential target. “Strong, well-toned, good business sense, and all the free booze I could ever want. Why am I still with you, again?”

“You have no idea how many times I’ve asked myself that.”

Chrysalis tisked. “I suppose I should just stay with you. It’s taken me forever to changeling-ify your place, and I’d hate to lose all that hard work. Besides, Trigger’s emotions taste like stale hay,” she added while pulling a disgusted face. “Why would I give that up for Pokey-poo pudding?”

Now it was Pokey’s turn to smile deviously. “That’s just it. I don’t think you can. You’re addicted to me.”

“I am not!” she huffed, but without conviction. “You just taste good, that’s all.”

“The first step in recovery is to admit you have a problem,” he smarmed. 

“Shut up. I could quit you whenever I wanted.”

“You’ll get the chance to prove it this weekend. I’m heading out of town starting Friday, and I’ll be gone for a couple of days.”

Chrysalis started a bit with this revelation. “You are? Where are you going? Can I come? I hate just sitting around the house while you’re gone.”

“I don’t think having you tag along would be a good idea. Prince Apollo’s crystalling is this weekend, so I’m heading out with Prince Bean to the Crystal Empire. Last time I checked, the only two ponies who hate you more than Prince Bean are Captain Armor and Princess Cadence.”

“Oh, pfft,” Chrysalis waved a dismissive hoof and blew a raspberry. “Water under a bridge by now.”

“Or a bridge underwater,” Pokey shot back. 

“Funny.” She tapped her chin in thought. “I should come with you. I am the Queen of the Changelings, after all, and I’d get all sorts of love—I mean, good will points,” she hastily clarified “if I came along and was there for the little sunspot’s presentation.”

“I’m not going to stop the Empire’s guards from detaining you,” Hokey warned. “And I’m not going to stop the Captain’s Magic Death Beam, either. With Princess Cadence being pregnant, he’s gone into a super-protective, hyper vigilant mode. Even the mere thought of a changeling puts the Empire’s finest forces on high alert.”

“Then I’ll just have to do things differently, then.” Chrysalis buzzed a bit as another glorious and foolproof plan began to come together in her head. “I can make this work for me. Just you watch, Hokey Pokey. This will be one of my greatest triumphs.”

“I can’t wait to see how this explodes right in your face yet again,” Hokey replied with a deep grin.


 * *  ✹ * * 

> 5. - Crystalling Pt. 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✹ * * 


“I have a bad feeling about this.”

Celestia drew in a long, deep breath as her husband paced the length of their personal chambers, his brow furrowed in anger and frustration. She understood fully why her Baked Bean was in such a sour mood, and truth be told, she was not comfortable with the idea, either.

This latest stunt by Queen Chrysalis had thrown them for a rather large loop, but the worst part of it was that she had done everything legally. The formal, written request of the Queen to attend the Crystalling as the official representative of the Changeling Hive spoke of improved relations, and of fostering understanding between ponies and changelings. It was formatted correctly, it had no spelling or grammatical errors, and it was even written on official, watermarked paper bearing Queen Chrysalis’ signature.

Celestia was nearly convinced that this was Chrysalis’ most diabolical scheme to date. Her first reaction was the same as her husband’s: outright rejection. She had agreed that the changeling was up to no good, that her request was some sort of ploy to somehow collect the love that the Empire produced and use it to superpower herself once again.

Celestia most certainly did not want to repeat that battle.

However, despite her misgivings and concerns, she had eventually and reluctantly agreed to the Queen’s request for two reasons. The first was that Lieutenant Spear Point and Captain Shining Armor were more than willing to provide an ‘honor guard’ for the Queen. At the slightest hint of trouble, this escort would swiftly spring into action to subdue and, if necessary, eliminate the threat.

The second, and more compelling reason, was that upon receiving the request via Hokey Pokey, Celestia had asked him, point blank, what his thoughts were concerning her motivations.

His answer was slow and thoughtful, but with her vast experience, Celestia knew he had given her the most truthful answer he could. 

“I don’t know what she’s up to, exactly, but deep down, I believe she’ll behave herself. Besides, if you know she’s there, you don’t have to worry about where she’s hiding.”

Hokey Pokey had then gone on and shared the conversation he had with Chrysalis about her desires to be treated like a real queen at the last Grand Galloping Gala. He suspected that her request was directly related to those hopes. 

If it was true, then the fearsome leader of all changelings was, in her own way and at her own pace, beginning the process of reformation. Well, for a given value of ‘reform.’ Scheming and plotting out in the open was what every other race did in their search for political power, so why not changelings?

On top of that, Hokey Pokey’s influence had affected Chrysalis too, more than she would ever admit to. Perhaps if she were offered a few more olive branches of peace, about a forest’s worth of them, she and her hive just might have a chance at change.

Baked Bean had rejected the entire notion outright as soon as he heard it, and could not be persuaded otherwise. If he could work his will, Chrysalis would be stuffed in a stockade in the deepest, darkest dungeon that could be found without the slightest hope of release. And fed only stale bread. With ketchup on it, for good measure.

“She’s going to do something, I just know it,” Baked Bean went on as he turned and marched back across the room. “She’ll steal the Crystal Heart and take it back to her hive, so all the love from Equestria flows to her. I can’t believe you’re allowing her to come.”

“Bean, please settle down. You’ll wake Apollo,” Celestia said with a glance over to their slumbering son in his crib. “Shining Armor assures me that the Crystal Corps will be on high alert, and that the Crystal Heart will be protected by one of his shields and the finest troops he can muster. It will be impossible for Chrysalis to do anything.”

“I can’t believe Shining and Cadence are fine with her coming, either.” Bean stomped over to Celestia and collapsed on the cushions next to her with a hard whumph and a nicker of derision. “They should know better. You should know better. Chrysalis can’t be trusted.”

If Bean had been just another one of her subjects, Celestia might have taken that moment to remind him that she did have over a thousand years of analytical skill and decision-making capability to rely upon, but she elected to bite her tongue instead. Such a statement would only irritate Bean more, and this was not a fight that she wanted to have.  

“Come here,” she said, her wing pulling him in until he was held snugly to her side. With a small grin, she began nipping in between his ears and down his neck, and to her relief, she could see his muscles starting to relax. “You are going to hurt yourself if you don’t calm down.”

“I am calm,” he grumbled, his anger clearly being overrun by his enjoyment of Celestia’s actions. “Little to the left, please.”

“I know I am asking you to do something that is extremely difficult,” she said in her softest and most soothing voice as she continued nipping. “And I understand why this is so hard for you. But I need you to trust me, and give Chrysalis a chance to show her true self. If she does, in fact, try to attack us in any way, she will have to fight through myself, Luna, Cadence, Shining Armor, all six Element Bearers, a full platoon of Crystal Corps ponies, another full platoon of our Royal Guard, Sergeant Hokey Pokey, Sergeant Clover Leaf, and the citizenry of the Crystal Empire. I do not see how she could be successful at anything with so many ponies opposing her, and right at the instant when she attempts to strike.”

Bean let out another nicker, only this time with resigned defeat. “Okay, fine. It might be a little bit harder for her to do something. I still don’t like it, though.”

“And that’s fine. Your feelings in this matter are important, and they have weighed heavily on my mind as I contemplated this unusual request. If you are right, I will ensure that she is dealt with permanently.”

Bean relaxed more with her statement. “Now, when you say permanently, does that mean...?”

“I am a forgiving pony, but even I have my limits. I lost you once, and I will not lose you again.”

Celestia felt Bean’s shudder of delight, and her smile grew with his. “Just don’t go full Daybreaker. You might melt the Crystal Empire if you do.”

Celestia chuckled. “I will restrain myself, if the situation arises. But I am confident Apollo’s crystalling will be rather uneventful. Now, we should probably figure out which crystal to use, since the ceremony is this weekend.”

“Indeed we should,” Bean agreed as Celestia’s magic brought over the case containing their options. “I like the smell of this one, here on the right…”


 * *  ✹ * * 
 

“This is so unfair,” Chrysalis grumbled, her eyes darting back and forth as the scenery of Equestria rushed by their window. “Moonbutt, Sunbutt and that Bean get to ride in luxurious accommodations, and I’m stuffed back here in steerage.”

“Careful,” Pokey said with a sly grin. “You’ll upset the steers talking like that.”

“Indeed!” A nearby cow huffed indignantly. “Never, in all my days…” 

The Queen of All Changelings glared daggers at the offended heifer for a moment as somecow began kicking her seat from behind, then turned her attention back to Pokey when a calf began to wail at the top of its lungs. “This is no way to treat royalty, you know.”

“Hey, if you don’t like it, then you need to provide your own train car. Every creature from Minotaria to Yakyakistan wants to attend the crystalling, so you’re lucky that you even found a seat, and that Celestia allowed these passenger cars to be hooked to her personal locomotive. You’re also insanely lucky that Prince Bean even let you get on. If it were up to him, you’d be walking the whole way. Backwards. With hobbles.”

“He really needs to quit living in the past,” Chrysalis grumbled more. “You try to melt one measly little pony’s brain, and then you never hear the end of it. I said I was suhhh… s-s-s...”

“Sorry?” Pokey finished the sentence since Chrysalis was unable to. “Funny. I don’t ever remember hearing you apologize to him.”

“I’m quite sure I did,” Chrysalis said, her nose firmly in the air. “You must have been out sick that day.”

“Sure, sure.”

“How much longer is this infernal ride going to take, anyway?” Chrysalis shuffled to her left, but the minotaur next to her adjusted to the left as well, thus eliminating the infinitesimal gap that she had created between them. 

“Oh, at least another six hours, probably,” Pokey said casually. “We left Canterlot ten minutes ago, after all.”

“You’d better be joking,” Chrysalis snarled. “There’s no way I’m going to sit in this tin can like a sardine for six hours.”

“I don’t see how you have another choice,” Pokey said with a devious grin as he stood. “If you’ll excuse me.”

“Just where do you think you’re going?!” 

“I have to go report for duty. Prince Bean is on this train, so I still need to guard him. I’ll come check on you eventually.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“No can do. We guards have standing orders to arrest you if you get any closer to Prince Bean. Unless you want to find out what it’s like to be thrown from a railroad car traveling at this speed.”

“I loathe you,” Chrysalis snapped as her fellow passengers moved to fill the space that Pokey had vacated.

“Yeah, I know. Normally I’d say ‘don’t steal any love,’ but I don’t think that’ll be an issue today.”

“You’re going to pay for this,” Chrysalis shot back in barely restrained fury. “Do you hear me, Hokey Pokey?! Don’t you walk away from me while I’m talking to you!”

Chrysalis began to fume and snarl as she watched Pokey’s laughing departure, unable to properly smite him since whoever was kicking her seat was nearly pushing her into the previously offended dairy cow in front of her. The indignity of her situation was nearly more than she could bear, and if her fellow passengers had been ponies instead of livestock, she would allow her displeasure to be expressed. 

Violently.   

But Chrysalis had learned not to mess with cattle many years ago,⁽*⁾ so she suppressed her rage and glared out of the window again. Her beloved crossword puzzles were in her personal baggage, and that had been taken from her and thrown into the baggage car as soon as she and Pokey had reached the train station, so she had nothing to do for six hours but seethe and stare. 

—
⁽*⁾Don’t ask. You really don’t want to know.

Or strike up a conversation, but that wouldn’t end well. Changelings were far more intelligent than bovines, so talking to one of them would be like trying to talk to a stick.  

Lacking anything better to do, Chrysalis mentally reviewed what information she had on the Crystal Empire. She had sent a couple of scouts when it had first appeared, and she had hoped that at least one of them could have infiltrated and integrated with the locals while the other one reported back. Sunbutt, however, had beaten her to the punch, to her immense annoyance, and Studly Do-Right went and raised a small but effective military patrol that hounded her scouts relentlessly from the moment they had stuck their buggy noses inside the Empire’s borders.

It hadn’t helped that the Crystal Ponies were naturally wary of strangers and outsiders to begin with, thus making it impossible for the scouts to foalnap, pod, and replace a loved one. Once she had received their report, she ‘rescheduled’ her planned invasion, since she didn’t have enough ‘lings with enough love to stage a full frontal invasion, nor the resources and time to sneak across Equestria with a small infiltration crew. The priority, then and still, had been to reestablish her hive. 

Provided she could refrain from strangling the miscreant who was kicking her seat still, this trip would provide her with a first hoof look at the Empire, and more specifically, the defenses that Studly had put up around it. If she could just find a small hole in the security—miniscule as it may be—she could be sitting on an all-you-can-eat buffet of love, and her power would know no bounds. 

The thought made her giggle with wicked delight. Vengeance was a dish best served cold, and soon, every creature would see just how cold and calculating Queen Chrysalis could be.


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Why me?” Pokey asked the heavens above as he jumped over the couplings from the last passenger car to the baggage car. “Why? Did I do something wrong as a child?”

There was no answer. Pokey slid the door open as fast as he could. Now that the train was within the borders of the Empire, Princess Celestia had asked him to assemble his ‘Honor Guard’ for the Queen, and to stay with her for the entirety of her visit.

But when he and his fellow guards had returned to the passenger car, she had disappeared. The other passengers informed him she’d left not long after he had, but there had been no reports of her moving forward, or toward the locomotive.

That meant that she’d either jumped off the train entirely, or she was now in the baggage car or the caboose for some idiotic reason. Pokey didn’t figure he’d be lucky enough for the former, so once he’d entered the car and shut out the snow, he began to search among the suitcases and parcels. “Chrysalis? You’d better not be stealing anything back here.”

“Please tell me we’re almost there,” came her muffled reply. 

“Yes, Your Majesty,” he dryly replied while moving around a large crate. “We’ll be arriving any minute now, depending on the weather. Now, is there any reason why you’re…”

Hokey Pokey stopped dead in his tracks, and it took all of his willpower to keep from bursting into hysterical laughter. In the middle of the car, surrounded by emptied out suitcases and vacant bags, was a large pile of sweaters, scarves, mittens and coats, with a pair of Changeling eyes peering back at him from within the mess with annoyance. 

“Shut up!” Chrysalis snapped. “This isn’t funny!” 

“Okay, so walk me through the logic on this,” Pokey replied. “Why did you decide to leave the heated passenger car, and to move back here to the unheated baggage car when you knew the Crystal Empire was surrounded by snowstorms and ice fields?”

“Nopony told me there would be a blizzard!” she shouted back. “I thought it would be a few snow drifts and some random flakes. You ponies control the weather, don’t you? Why on earth don’t they take care of that mess outside?!”

“The storms that come off the northern mountain ranges are too large for us to handle. We can keep things under control in the Empire proper, but not outside of it. Besides, it keeps nosy little bugs from buzzing into places where they shouldn’t be.”

“You could have warned me.” The pile shivered, and Chrysalis let out an audible sniffle. “This is all your fault.”

“I didn’t think I had to. I was fairly sure that you had enough sense to stay in the passenger car.”

“I was going to do something unpleasant if I stayed in there any longer, Pokey,” Chrysalis growled. “I’m a patient Queen, but even I have my limits. Whoever was kicking my seat was this close to being turned into a tenderloin.”

“I suppose I should thank you for not acting on your impulses, but maybe this’ll teach you to not invite yourself to things at the last minute.”

“Instead of making wise cracks, go be useful and get me something warm.” 

“Sergeant?” Corporal Larkspur’s voice had cut in, and he stepped around the crate with his horn lit and ready to fire. “Do you need assistance, sir?”

“Stand down, Corporal. Chrysalis was just about to clean up this mess she made, wasn’t she?” Pokey asked with a pointed look.

“I will do no such thing. If you don’t want me to tear apart your train, then you ponies need to provide me with reasonable accommodations.”

Five more guards then appeared out of the woodwork, each with a spear or a horn primed to strike. Hokey Pokey took a moment to glance over his comrades before turning back to the Queen with a smug smile.

“We provided you with a heated passenger car, which was more than adequate. Now get to cleaning, or the troops here might have a valid reason to dismiss you from our company.”

The pile of winter wear let out a sharp hiss of annoyance, went motionless for a moment, then levitated into the air with a sickly green glow. “Mark my words, Hokey Pokey. You are going to pay severely for this.”

Before Chrysalis could start sorting, the brakes on the train activated, letting out a low screech as they brought the journey to an end. Chrysalis, upon feeling the slowing, promptly dropped the pile and strode towards the exit. “What a shame! It seems we have arrived, and I am sure you don’t want to keep your friends in the Crystal Empire waiting. They might get anxious if I don’t show up when I’m supposed to.”

Hokey Pokey groaned, then turned to Larkspur. “Stay here and see if you can’t get this mess sorted out. Much as I hate to admit it, the bug is right.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Let’s go, Chrysalis,” Pokey said with a snort. “But you are on extremely thin ice. Any more stunts like this and you’ll wish you’d stayed back in Canterlot.”

Chrysalis scoffed, plucked a scarf from the floor with her magic, and wrapped it around her neck before flashing Pokey a pleased grin. “I’m always on my best behavior. Haven’t you learned that by now, Pokey-poo?”

“That’s what worries me.”





Queen Chrysalis took a deep breath of the clear crystal air as she stepped onto the train platform, and out of reflex, her tongue darted out to sample all of the delectable emotions that were sure to be dancing about. If she was lucky, the ambient levels of love would be strong, even out here on the edge of the Empire, and all she would have to do is open her mouth and begin swallowing.

What she tasted made her gag, cough, and spit all at the same time. The mishmash of conflicting emotions was like she’d just had week-old gum, a pine log, three cow pies, and a pound of pepper crammed down her throat. The snickers of amusement from her ‘Honor Guard’ only added to the disgusting flavors, and she was severely tempted to smack them all upside the head for their audacity and insolence.

“Aw, was the Queen expecting something different?” A derisive voice asked with deep sarcasm. “Looks like you don’t like how we taste around here.”

Chrysalis spat once more, then glared at her newest addition to her ‘Need to Smite’ list. A yellow crystal pony, with a blue mane and clad in brilliantly polished silver, stood at the fore of a dozen Crystal Corps ponies, with a look of contemptuous delight that was begging to be removed with force. “Somepony just earned themselves the top spot on my naughty list. Who, exactly, are you?” 

“Sergeant Stonewall, Your Majesty. I and my troops here are under the strictest of orders to keep you out of trouble. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way…” The Lieutenant approached, drew his sword, and held it to Chrysalis’ neck. “Why don’t we come to an understanding, shall we? Nopony wants you here. All of us are keenly aware that you are in the opening stages of some nefarious plot to steal our love, and I will not allow that to happen, under any circumstance.”

“I’m going to like it here.” Chrysalis bobbed her eyebrows and ran her hoof along the opposite edge of the blade. “It’s been so long since I’ve been properly threatened, I nearly forgot how exhilarating it is. Oh, but don’t tell me you really thought threatening my life would somehow change my behavior?” Her tongue darted out again, and a knowing grin came with the emotional taste test. “You did! How beautifully naive of you! Pokey-poo, take note of this. These ponies could teach you a thing or two about how to turn me on.”

“That’s enough, Sergeant.” The commanding voice of Captain Shining Armor rang out, and Chrysalis purred as he approached, clad in his purple armor and with Princess Cadence at his side. 

“Well hellooo, Studly.” Chrysalis bit her bottom lip playfully as she drank in his form. “My, my. I’d forgotten how delicious you look when you get dressed up, and all just for little old me! I do hope you’ll keep it on for the duration of my stay.”

“Only if you revert back to your tie-dye color scheme,” Shining shot back with a smug grin.

That killed Chrysalis’ mood in a hurry, and she snarled. “I’ll have my revenge for that little stunt, believe me.”

“I’m sure you will. In the meantime, care to explain why you brought an invasion force with you?”

“I think your helmet is on too tight. The only Changeling in the Empire is me, handsome.”

“There have been several changeling sightings along the borders over the last week,” Cadence cut in, her horn flaring to life. “So unless you’d like to see what it’s like to be imprisoned and abandoned in a dungeon made of crystal, you’d better explain what’s going on.”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “And you ponies wonder why I don’t play by the rules. Even when I behave, I’m in trouble. Look, Lovebutt, I’m being completely honest. The only changeling that should be in the Empire is me. My little ‘lings were told to stay at the hive, and all changelings hate the cold. So if there’s some moronic drone stomping around out there in the snow, it’s defective and should be destroyed at your leisure.”

“Sergeant Pokey?” Princess Cadence turned to him, and he came to attention.

“Your Highness, to the best of my knowledge, Queen Chrysalis is telling the truth. I have seen no correspondence between her and her hive regarding an invasion, and changelings do not share a hive mind, ma’am.”

“I wish we did,” Chrysalis added under her breath. “That would solve so many problems.”

“I’ll send a force out and see if we can’t capture it,” Shining Armor said to Cadence. “Then we can get to the bottom of what’s going on. Why don’t you show our ‘guest’ to her room?” Their attention turned back to Chrysalis, who flashed a smile. “I’m sure she’s tired from the journey.”

“Follow me, please.” Cadence motioned with a hoof, and with two dozen guards at her side, Chrysalis took the invitation. 

“Shining? What was all that about?” 

Shining Armor took a deep breath before turning to greet his Princely counterpart. “Hey, Bean. Glad to see you made it safely. How was the trip?”

“Fine. Celly and I went over the itinerary for the crystalling, mostly. Luna slept the whole time. Apollo did yearling stuff. What’s going on with Chrysalis? Did she do something?”

“Not that we can prove, yet,” Shining said. “There’s been several changeling drone sightings lately, and we thought Chrysalis might be up to something. But she denies having any other changelings here beside herself, so we need to catch the rogue and figure out why it’s here and what it’s doing.”

“Is it just one drone, or multiples?” Bean asked with concern.

“We think there’s just one, but it’s hard to tell. Hey, don’t worry about it.” Shining put a hoof on Bean’s shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. “I’ve got my finest troops out looking for it, and my even-better-than-that troops guarding Chrysalis. If she is up to something, we’ll stop it.”

“I still say letting her come here is a bad idea,” Bean huffed. “I tried to warn all of you.” 

“Trust me, I told Cady the same thing,” Shining answered. “But we’ve both been overruled by our wives, so we’ll just make do as best we can.”
  
“You’re at least sticking her in one of the worst rooms you have, right?”

Shining Armor sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Well, since there isn’t exactly a ‘bad’ room in the palace…”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Now this is more like it.” Chrysalis wiggled a bit to properly settle into the plush velvet chaise, and her magic plucked a pear from the overflowing fruit bowl on the large crystal table in front of her. The afternoon light danced into intricate colors and patterns as it streamed through the crystal walls and windows, and the roaring fire in the hearth was removing the last of the chill that had been stubbornly stuck in her chitin since her arrival. She’d grown accustomed to marble and gold during her stay in Canterlot, but crystal did have a certain charm and elegance all of its own.  

Neither were as grandiose as the slime and fungi of her hive, of course, but nothing could ever measure up to that.

With a grin, Chrysalis took a large bite of the pear and chewed noisily while relaxing. Her Pokey-poo was out with the Crystal Empire guards and Studly, probably going over how they would contain her and keep her in line, so for the moment, she had the luxurious guest suite all to herself. 

And this was only the beginning of her turn in fortune. Seeing as how her Queenly self was the official representative of the Changelings, Princess Celestia was compelled to extend an invitation for Chrysalis to attend a state dinner that evening. Dignitaries from Griffonstone, Yakyakistan, and a bunch of other places that she couldn’t be bothered to remember would smooze and socialize in celebration of Apollo’s crystalling tomorrow afternoon. Lovebutt and Studly had organized some other social activities for the day, but Chrysalis had decided not to attend, partly because of the foul emotions in the Empire and partly because she simply didn’t feel like being sociable. 

Besides, if she stayed put, she would have Hokey Pokey all to herself, and that thought made her innards feel all bubbly and warm.

As if on cue, Hokey then entered the room, kicked the door shut, and let out a deep sigh while removing his helm. “This is a fantastic way to start a road trip,” he muttered as he moved towards her.

“What can I say? I always make a splash wherever I go,” Chrysalis said with a deep grin. “You should know that by now, my sweet Babboo.”

Pokey snorted, moved to the window, and stared off into the frozen wastes that lay beyond the city’s bounds. “Chrissy, I need you to be totally honest with me. What is going on with the changeling sightings?”

The urgency and concern in his voice was unexpected, and Chrysalis sat up as she tasted the tang of his fear in the air. Normally, her Pokey-wokey was always so sure and confident, so in a small way, it actually hurt her a little to see him in such distress. 

“Hokey Pokey, I truthfully and honestly do not know if or why there’s a drone out in that tartarus-spawned mess. No ‘ling in their right mind would willingly stay out in that, so whoever it is has gone mental. To be blunt, such a drone would be just as much of a threat to my hive as they are to this Empire, and Studly would be wise to destroy it, just as I told him to. I’ll even do it myself, if he feels squeamish about it.”

“Why is it all the way out here? Do you think it was attracted by the love?”

“No way. This place tastes like a sewer. It would have to be acting on instinct.” Chrysalis shrugged. “We bugs still need to eat, even if we’re deranged. Speaking of which…” she trailed off with a low growl. 

“At least you’ve finally admitted it,” Pokey snarked while Chrysalis’ magic pulled him to her. 

“I have to be crazy to want you.” Chrysalis pulled him into her embrace and began to nibble on his neck with gentle kisses. It took deliberate effort to keep her fangs from scratching or piercing his neck. “But then, I’m not the only thief around here. You managed to steal my heart, and I don’t know how to get it back. It’s quite a frustrating conundrum you’ve put me in.”

“Good. Serves you right for all of the agony you’ve put me through.”

There was a peaceful silence as Chrysalis continued, and somewhere deep in her soul, she felt a warm serenity begin to flow when Pokey’s muscles relaxed beneath her touch. It was a feeling she hadn’t fully experienced—or enjoyed—since her time masquerading as Bluebelle, and in the silence of that moment, Chrysalis found that she had deeply missed this feeling. There was no lie to maintain, no deception to keep covered. She didn’t have to continually taste the emotions in the air to make sure her mark remained adequately fooled, and there was no need for her to adjust the next five steps of her latest plan.

She didn’t even need to steal her sweet Babboo’s love, she realized. Even if it was unintentional, Hokey Pokey was willingly giving it to her. 

The revelation made her pause, and she pondered over the curious notion. What she was getting wasn’t quite full on pure love, but a form of it, a lesser but welcome beginning. Pokey was providing acceptance, affection, and perhaps a touch of fondness, all emotions that held a spark of love within them.

For as long as she could remember—and for long before that—the only way changelings could get their greedy little hooves on love was to steal it. She had never, in her entire life, been with a creature who was willing to give her love, in any shape, size, or style. Every creature she’d ever encountered in her natural form either ran away from her while screaming or attacked her with a long blade and, ideally, a longer handle. 

But her Pokey didn’t care about her outward appearance. He never remarked about her fangs, her insectoid wings, or the holes in her legs—at least, not in any serious way. He would make a snarky joke about them on occasion, but she never felt like he was being malicious or demeaning. He accepted her, despite what other ponies would see as flaws, and…

And when she was with him, she felt safe. She could be herself—no disguises, no tricks, no deceit—and he would never try to change her.

It was a somewhat stunning revelation, and her breath hitched in her throat as the full weight of it settled in on her. For the first time in forever, Queen Chrysalis could just be Chrysalis.

Just Chrysalis. No more, and no less. 

“Hey, you okay?” Hokey Pokey asked. She shuddered as his heartfelt concern tickled her senses. “You’re awfully quiet all of a sudden.”

“Just getting my fill of love for the day,” she half-lied. Even though she knew his concern was genuine, she couldn’t bring herself to admit her revelation to him, or even fully to herself. What she had just glimpsed was nothing more than a moment of weakness, a vulnerability that needed to be hidden so it couldn’t be exploited. “I’m going to have to go buy a treadmill if I’m not careful. You’re just too easy to steal from.” 

“Hey, if you’re getting love from me, then you don’t need love from anypony else.”

“Maybe,” she said with a cheerful hum.


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Any luck yet?” Baked Bean asked.

“Nope,” Shining Armor said with a deep frown. “This bug is good. But don’t worry, Bean. We’ll catch it.”

Bean took a deep breath as he waited for Twilight Sparkle and her friends on the Empire’s empty train platform with his friend. Reports on the search were coming in every fifteen to twenty minutes, and Bean found comfort in the fact that Shining was literally searching every nook and cranny that existed in the Empire’s boundaries. But there were almost limitless places for a changeling to hide, and the Crystal Empire had a limited number of guards who could be spared. 

Still, even if they couldn’t catch the stray, it wouldn’t be able to attack the Empire in any way. There was only one bug, not a whole army of them—and Shining had reassured Bean that the Empire definitely would have noticed if Chrysalis had sent a force of more than one to attack. The threat to the Royal family was virtually none, so Bean found it easier to calm his nerves.

“So, how’s Cadence doing with her pregnancy?” Bean asked. A change of subject would be welcome, and Bean hadn’t heard any updates for a few weeks.

Shining Armor stood a bit taller, and Bean instantly recognized the proud, fatherly smile that overtook the Captain. It was the same smile he saw whenever he would pass by a mirror. “We just met with the obstetrician yesterday, and everything looks normal. Provided we can catch the changeling, Cady and I are going to come back to Canterlot with you so Doctor Horsenpfeffer can do an exam and continue her research on alicorn pregnancies.”

“How far along are you, again?”

“Four months, give or take a few weeks.”

“Ah. And how are the alicorn cravings?” Bean asked with a sly grin. 

“They’ve been… manageable.” Shining glanced around the platform, as if making sure they were still alone. “Between you and me, I’m not sure who’s more nauseous, her or me. Half of the stuff she eats looks like she just threw whatever was in front of her on a slab of cheddar cheese and called it good.”

“Get used to it. Celestia came up with the strangest concoctions, too. Most of them involved ketchup,” he added with a shudder. “You might want to consider getting a pair of nose plugs.”

“I might have to. Thankfully, Cady’s mood swings don’t seem to be as bad as Celestia’s, thus far. She’s more restless at night, too, like she can’t get comfortable. And then she ends up kicking me awake when she’s bored, and then…” Shining trailed off and tapped the tips of his hooves together. 

“Doctor Horsenpfeffer told me that Celestia would be more, um, receptive starting around month four, too,” Bean said with a bob of his eyebrows. “It’s all the hormones raging through her system, and alicorn hormones at that. Plus, you married the Princess of Love, so I bet I can’t even imagine how that affects her.”

“Dude, it’s like somepony flipped a switch!” Shining moaned. “Don’t get me wrong, the spirit is more than willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right. There were a couple of times when I had to head down to the infirmary and get some burn ointment,” Bean said with a wistful, pleased look. “I think you should have a talk with her. Let her know all of this, but in the nicest possible way. I’m sure she doesn’t want to hurt you, so you should be able to reach some sort of compromise.”

“Compromise about what?” Cadence asked from behind them. The two stallions turned to greet her and the two guards who flanked her. “Is something wrong, Shiny?”

“No, everything’s fine. We can discuss it later tonight, in private,” he said, with a lean to plant a quick kiss on her cheek. 

Cadence was having none of it. She dodged his initial offering, puckered up, and pulled her husband into a passionate embrace that went on for several long minutes. Bean glanced away from the tongue tango going on in front of him as best he could, but there was no way he could ignore the delighted hums and grunts. 

While he waited, Bean wondered if this is what it was like for other ponies when he and Celestia locked lips, but he had no intention of cutting back. If anything, the snogging going on in front of him fueled his desire to go show the crystal royals how it was really done.

Once Cadence had gotten her fill of Shining Armor succulence, the pair slowly separated, noticed that Bean was giving them a playfully annoyed look, and cleared their throats. 

“Are the yaks still smashing the castle?” Shining asked his wife, his voice only cracking a little.

“I took care of their concerns, with the help of Ambassador Horwitz and with a minimum of smashing. I’m very grateful Horwitz came; I think he’ll help be a calming agent of sorts to the rest of the Yak dignitaries.”

“I hope so. He hasn’t smashed half of Canterlot yet, has he?” Shining asked Bean.

“No. In fact, I don’t think he’s smashed anything at all,” Bean replied thoughtfully. “For a yak, he’s remarkably patient and understanding. I can see why Prince Rutherford picked him.”

“As I understand it, Rutherford and Horwitz have known each other for quite some time,” Cadence said. “I’m sure the two of them will regale us with glorious tales of ancient yak battles tonight during dinner.”

“Let’s hope Horwitz can keep Rutherford from smashing anything if his meal isn’t just right,” Shining added just as Twilight’s train approached with a sharp blast from the whistle. “I realize you’re busy with Celestia, Bean, but there’s a part of me that really, really wishes you were our chef for tonight. You’ve had more experience with cooking for Yaks than any crystal pony does.”

“I’ve cooked one meal for him, so that doesn’t really count,” Bean countered as the train stopped in front of them. “I’m sure Berry Blast will do just fine.” 

Bean’s demeanor turned grim as the passenger car door opened and the Element Bearers—plus one recently reformed cutie-mark stealer and a dragon in a trenchcoat, afro wig, fedora, and sunglasses—stepped onto the platform. While it was highly unlikely that the stray changeling had snuck in with Twilight Sparkle or her friends, Shining Armor wasn’t willing to take the chance, and it showed clearly on his face as well. The new arrivals were chatting happily as they disembarked, but as soon as they saw Shining Armor in his armor, the conversation died out and everyone froze. 

“Shining? What’s going on?” Twilight asked, her eyes moving between him, Bean, and the two guards.  

“We can explain, Twily,” he said, his tone dead serious. “If it really is you.”

Cadence shared a quick nod with her husband, then trotted up to ‘Twilight.’ “Sunshine, sunshine-”

“Ladybug’s awake!” Twilight didn’t hesitate to jump in with the familiar greeting, or the motions that went with it. “Clap your hooves and do a little shake!”

The tension that had been building evaporated, and Bean let out the breath he’d been holding while Twilight and Cadence hugged.

“It’s okay, everypony. It’s her,” Shining announced with relief. 

“Of course it’s her!” Starlight Glimmer exclaimed. “What’s this all about?”

“A changeling’s been spotted nearby,” Shining Armor answered. “And according to Queen Chrysalis, it’s not here on her orders, so we’re not taking any chances.”

“That’s not good,” Spike the Well-Disguised noted.

Shining Armor and Cadence then took turns explaining the situation to the new arrivals, and Baked Bean was pleased to see that the group looked appropriately concerned. Afterward, Shining reassured everypony that his troops were on the hunt even as they spoke, and that there was no need to worry.

“Sounds like quite a pickle of a situation,” Applejack said at the conclusion. “But if’n there’s anyway any of us can help, we’re all rootin’ and rearin’ to go!”

The rest agreed with her in unison, bringing a smile to Bean. Knowing that the Element Bearers were now on the lookout made him feel much better about the current situation.

One of the guards stepped forward and whispered something into Shining’s ear, and the Captain smirked. “Hmm! The Crystal Corps ponies were wondering if Spike, the Brave and Glorious, would like to join in the search for the changeling.”

“Really?!” Spike exclaimed. 

“I dunno if that’s such a good idea, Spike,” Twilight cut in with a frown. “It sounds dangerous.”

“C’mon, Twilight! This is Spike, the Brave and Glorious you’re talking to.” Spike flexed his muscles. “Have you ever known me to run from danger?”

“Um…”

“He’ll be safe with our guards,” Shining added reassuringly.

“Or, will your guards be safe with me?” Spike corrected.

Twilight rolled her eyes “All right, I guess you can go. Just be careful!”

“Bah!” Spike scoffed. “Looks like I won’t be needing my disguise after all!”

With one smooth motion, Spike doffed his wig and hat, removed his coat, and was instantly mobbed by a crowd of crystal ponies that hadn’t been there before. Cries of “It’s really him!”,  “Spike, the Brave and Glorious!” and “He’s come to save us again!” rose from the grateful assemblage. Before anypony could react, the ponies hoisted him into the air and began to walk towards the castle, with more cries of joy and a chant of “Spike! Spike! Spike!” ringing out with glee.

“We told everypony to stay inside as much as possible,” Shining explained. “That way, if the changeling somehow snuck into the city, it would be easy to spot. But I think we can lift that restriction now, don’t you, Cady?”

“We’ll have to for tonight’s festivities,” she said, “but I think we’re pretty safe, now that Spike the Brave and Glorious is here. While he and the guards go hunt the changeling, let me show you to your rooms. You all must be tired from your long trip.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“All right, you’re free to go.”

“About time!” Gruff snapped. “Now beat it, you bunch of buzzards!”

“Can you believe these guys?” Gallus jabbed a talon at the retreating guards. “Soon as we step off the train, they’re demanding we prove who we are!”

“Quit whining, you two,” Gilda said. “Ponies are paranoid by nature, and I sure don’t want to be abducted by a changeling.”

“It’s still annoying,” Gallus huffed.

“Look, we need to be friendly with the ponies here, okay?” Gilda said exasperatedly. “Things have finally started to get better in Griffonstone since we started trading with them, but we need to expand our reach, sell our stuff to more creatures. If we can get the Yaks and the Minotaurs to buy our junk, just imagine how many bits we could be pulling in every day! Just follow the rules, pretend to be nice for a couple of days, and before you know it, you’ll be clucking over a mountain of gold.”

“I know, I know,” Gallus grumbled. “I just wish you hadn’t decided that I was going to be your personal slave again.”

“You wanna be left alone? Then quit whining about being stuck at the aerie!” Gruff shot back. “We picked you just to get you to shut up already.”

“Excuse me?” another voice cut in, and the three griffs turned to face the crystal pony. “So sorry to intrude, but I’m here to show you to your rooms.”

“Hmpf! About time,” Gruff suddenly smacked Gallus in the chest and let out a wheezing laugh. “Let’s go see if we can find that Royal Guard mare that you’re head over tail in love with, eh?”

“I am NOT in love with her!” Gallus insisted. Gruff and Gilda laughed more. “I’ve told you a thousand times that I liked her armor, not her!”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Ah, Prince Rutherford!” Celestia offered her most disarming smile as she dodged a small gaggle of dignitaries and finally made eye contact with the Yakki leader. She was pleased to note that his countenance lit up upon noticing her.

“CELESTIA!” Rutherford roared in delight. He moved to pull the daytime diarch into what was sure to be a bone-crunching hug, but then thought better of it and stopped himself short. “Yak very glad to see you! Yak glad to be part of crystalling for tiny pony prince.”

“I’m delighted that you accepted my invitation, Your Highness. And who is this young yak that is accompanying you?”

The smaller visitor stepped forward, but she nearly tripped on one of her long braids as she did so. “My name Yona, Princess. Opa Horwitz asked me to come.”

“Ah! So you’re the fabled granddaughter that I’ve heard so many good things about.” Celestia felt a tingle of joy spread out of her chest as Yona glanced to the floor in pleased embarrassment. “I’m very pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“Where is pony foal?” Rutherford glanced to either side of Celestia, then back to her. 

“Apollo is with my husband at the moment. They should both be back momentarily.”

Rutherford nodded, then motioned to the ornate reception area that had been set up in the castle. “Yaks impressed with Crystal Empire. Pregnant pink pony princess take Yaks on tour of Empire earlier. Yaks looking forward to visiting often.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Celestia said with a warm grin. “Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor have spent countless hours preparing everything so that you might be at ease.” 

“Is Horwitz here?” Rutherford glanced around the room quickly. “Yak want to talk to Ambassador before dinner.”

“I’m not quite sure where he is, but he should be somewhere in the castle. Shall I send a guard to find him?”

“Nah.” Rutherford scoffed and ruffled Yona’s hair. “Horwitz will want to see Yona. Yona is Horwitz’s favorite.”

“Am not!” Yona tried to protest, but her tone gave away that she knew he was right. “Opa Horwitz love younger brother and sister, too!”

“YONA?!” Horwitz’s voice blasted over the crowd. “WHERE IS YONA?!”

“OPA!” Yona shouted back, and the crowd quickly parted, lest they be trampled in the reunion. Yona was the faster of the two, so they collided with each other near the main entrance, each a bundle of laughter and joy as they hugged and rubbed noses. “Yona glad to see Opa again! Been too long!”

“Yona has been good for Ana, right?” Horwitz demanded. “No lies!”

“No lies! Yona good yak. Yona does all her chores, and helps Ana with brother and sister.”

“Perhaps we should give them a moment?” Celestia asked Rutherford while Horwitz asked for a detailed accounting of Yona’s recent behavior. 

“Make that many moments,” Rutherford quipped with a grin. “May not be able to seperate them.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, Your Highness, why did you select Horwitz as your ambassador?” 

“Horwitz is old family friend. Is like uncle to Yak; has been best friend with Yak’s father since they were both little. We smash many things together, and his family always spends Snilldar Fest with Yak’s. Rutherford knows Horwitz is good yak; perfect for position with ponies.”

Celestia was about to reply, but she stopped and smiled when she saw Baked Bean enter the room with Apollo in a carrier on his back. If the enthusiastic reunion between Horwitz and Yona hadn’t been enough to melt the hearts of every creature in attendance, then the appearance of Celestia’s bright-eyed son pushed the few holdouts over the edge. There was a collective gasp of admiration as both Princes made their way to Rutherford and Celestia, and there were a number of ponies who wanted to get a better look at the newborn.

“Pony Princess has cute foal,” Rutherford remarked with a small smile. “Tiny pony will be… how do ponies say? ‘Lady killer?’”

“That is the phrase, and I fear my son already is,” Celestia said as one crystal mare cooed and fawned over Apollo, who seemed to be enjoying all of the attention. “I suppose I should have expected it, given who his father is.”

The two royals then chatted about Rutherford’s immediate family while they waited for Bean and Apollo to join them. Celestia was a bit surprised to learn that Rutherford was still unmarried, but Rutherford’s father had only stepped down from his position as Prince and Leader of All Yak just two years ago, and it had taken time to get the new ruling councils into their positions. 

Of course, all of this required extensive smashing, to ensure all new Yaks would be proficient in their governmental employment. Celestia had to admit that there was a simple elegance to the process, and she did briefly consider adding some sort of smashing test for any future appointees in Canterlot.

“Yak not worried about finding special someyak,” he said proudly. “Yak has many suluu lady yak admirers. Yak will soon have wife and many yak calves to smash with.”

“I wish you all the best, then,” Celestia said warmly as Bean finally approached on her right side. She paused to give him a kiss, nuzzle Apollo affectionately, and then finished with “In my experience, marriage is a most worthwhile investment.”

“I concur,” Bean concurred. “Prince Rutherford, it’s my pleasure to finally meet you face-to-face.”

“Yak is honored to meet…” Rutherford trailed off, a shocked look of awe and panic quickly overtaking him. With a loud gasp, he prostrated himself before the befuddled Bean, but it only took a moment for Celestia and Bean to realize what was going on.

“Oh, horseapples. I forgot,” Bean mumbled, reaching up to touch the phoenix feather that was still behind his left ear.

“Yak is most humbled to be in presence of Feniks Kuşunun Asıl Dosu,” Rutherford offered in deep reverence and humiliation. “Yak did not know he would be meeting one of the Favored.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Wait. Phoenixes are sacred to them?” Cadence asked.

“Yeah,” Bean answered as he, Celestia, Cadence, and Shining Armor walked down the hallway that led to the castle’s kitchen, with Apollo still in Bean’s carrier. Celestia wanted to feed her son before dinner began, and the rulers of the Crystal Empire wanted to check on the final preparations with Bean to ensure the visiting Yaks got a meal that would lead to minimal smashing. “There’s a lot of legend and history to it, but basically, a phoenix gave them fire way back when, so they see them as demigods. Any creature who has a feather from a Phoenix is believed to have great power and wisdom, and they offer deep veneration to those who are so favored, as you saw.”

“Huh!” Shining said thoughtfully. “You know, I’m really glad they’ve opened up their borders. It sounds like they have a really rich and dynamic cultural legacy, and I’d love to learn more about them.”

“As would I,” Celestia said. “I believe we have much to learn from each other.”

“Do Auntie Luna’s and Auntie Celly’s feathers have any special meaning to them?” Cadence asked.

“Not as much, no. Their feathers, Horwitz tells me, simply tell the Yaks that I am equal to the Princesses in authority.”

Cadence nodded as she pondered this information. She then glanced to Shining Armor and grinned. “Well, I certainly don’t want anyone to think you’re not equal to me, so…” Her horn lit, and with a quick tug, she pulled one of her long primaries from her right wing, and placed it behind Shining’s left ear. “Here we go! Now no creature can say you outrank me.”

“Even though you always will be better than me,” Shining Armor said with a kiss. “Thanks, hon.”   

“Don’t you forget that. And, just to be safe…” She plucked another primary from her left wing, which she slid under Luna’s and above Philomena’s in Bean’s mane. “There. I don’t outrank you, either, Uncle Bean.”

“I could argue the point with you, but there’s not enough time for that right now,” Bean quipped. “I do appreciate it, though.”

“Of course.” Cadence nodded, then playfully bumped her husband as they approached an intersection. “We’ll see you at dinner.”

Bean and Celestia nodded, but neither of them moved until their hosts were out of earshot. 

“What’s wrong, love?” Bean asked his wife. “You’ve been acting a little funny ever since we left to feed Apollo.”

“You noticed?” Celestia pulled a face when Bean nodded. “Hmm. It seems you are becoming quite apt at discerning my moods, even when I am actively trying to hide them. It’s almost like you’ve been living with me or something.”

“Or something. But really. What’s up?”

“Nothing of major importance, I hope. I…” Celestia paused, huffed, then started again. “I’m not sure why, but Apollo has not been feeding as well as I would like. He seems to be having difficulty latching on.”

“Really?” Bean glanced towards his wife’s hindquarters. 

“Yes.” The new mother lifted Apollo from Bean’s carrier, and a poor attempt at a smile came to her. “I’m worried he’s not getting the proper nourishment, and that leads me to worry that there is something wrong with me. I meant to speak with Doctor Horsenpfeffer before we left, but with everything that was going on, I was unable to YEEEEP!”

Celestia went as stiff as a board, her ethereal mane nearly standing straight out and her eyes wide in alarm. After a moment of fighting off a near panic, her husband emerged from her rear section with a smack of his lips and a thoughtful look.  

“Mm. I need to adjust your diet,” Bean muttered mostly to himself. “No wonder he’s having trouble latching on; you’ve got a sour, almost bitter taste to you. I wonder if all of that asparagus has…”

Bean trailed off as he went in for another sample, eliciting another shirek of alarm from Celestia. She even leapt away from him for good measure. For a brief second, Bean looked confused, but both of his eyebrows quickly went up in thoughtful alarm.

“Should I not be taste testing?”

“It’s…” Celestia hesitated. “It’s not unwanted, but please warn me first. And I’d rather not do this out in a public hallway.”

“Right, sorry. Let’s get to our room, and then I’ll try to figure out what to do about your milk.”


 * *  ✹ * * 

> 6. - Crystalling Pt. 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✹ * * 


Spike, the Brave and Glorious, had been having the time of his life. 

Marching around with the Crystal Corps ponies was a blast, and since there was no hint of a changeling in their search area, he had cheerfully filled the time regaling them with tales of his heroic deeds and his daring rescue of their beloved home. 

But eventually, the stories had run out, and now the silence was growing increasingly uncomfortable. Even the icy, snow-covered wastes were eerily silent that day, leaving only the sound of hooves crunching across pristine snow.

“Spike the Brave and Glorious, you’ve faced evil changelings before. What can you tell us?” the lead guard asked. 

It was at that moment that he realized that he didn’t know anything about them that they didn’t already know. Regardless, his reputation was on the line now, and he had to give them something.

“Oh, um… well, they are changelings, so they can… change?”

“Do you hear that? These monsters can look like any of us, so be on guard, Guards! Even more than normal.”

Emboldened, Spike smirked as he continued. “And, they could be anywhere! So we should cover as much ground as possible. You!” He pointed randomly to some of his escorts. “Search that way!” 

The indicated ponies took off in a flash. “And you! Search that way!” Spike barked at the rest of the company. “And I’ll… just search here, I guess.” He finished timidly, as it dawned on him that he was now no longer protected. “There’s not many places to hide. Unless that rock is a changeling.” 

Steeling up his courage, Spike approached the suspicious boulder, intent on exposing it as the changeling and proving himself a hero once again. “Okay, rock, how do I know you’re really a rock?”

He gave the mound his best death glare, but the ‘rock’ remained perfectly still. “Hmm, not talking, eh? Well you can’t fool me!” 

In his head, Spike imagined that kicking the rock would force the changeling back into its natural form, and he could then tackle and hold it down while calling the guards for help. 

In reality, the rock was actually a rock, so the kick not only injured his foot, it knocked off his balance and sent him sprawling backwards into the snow. Almost immediately, his landing spot gave way, and to his sudden horror, Spike found himself careening down a long tunnel, with the rock he’d kicked tumbling down right behind him. 

On the positive side, the slide was rather short and soon opened up into an enormous cave filled with stalagmites and more snow, so his slide down the tunnel was almost at an end.

But on the negative side, his trajectory was taking him straight to a deep chasm, and he was still gaining momentum, so the end of this ride was going to be extremely uncomfortable. 

Before he could consider the imminent experiment with gravitational pulls, Spike faceplanted into a stalagmite, and then held on for dear life as the pursuing boulder crashed by on his left before diving into the chasm with increasingly distant clanks. 

With a sigh of relief, Spike took half a second to see how near his near-death experience had been. He kissed the mineral deposit that had saved his scaly self, and stood with some trepidation. “Okay, maybe it’s time Spike, the Brave and Glorious, went back to, uh… protect those guards!” He glanced around the cave and began to walk, unsure if he could go back the way he’d come in and worried that he might be stuck, since the Crystal Corps ponies had no idea he’d gone missing yet.

Movement in the corner of his eye made him gasp, but then he sighed when he turned to get a better look. “Oh! It’s just my reflection.”

It was a bit peculiar that such a clean sheet of ice could have formed all the way down here, but that was something to ponder another time. He moved towards his entry point, but stopped after a couple of steps. 

He wasn’t sure now, but for a second, Spike could have sworn that the reflection had remained still while he moved. With a critical stare, he put his hands up, jumped to the left, walked back to the right, and jumped again while pulling a funny face. The reflective surface matched his every move perfectly, so he concluded with just a scratch of the back of his head. “Huh! Just my imagination, I guess.”

He turned and began to walk away, until he heard someone slip and crash into the snow. Turning in alarm, he found his reflection brushing the snow from himself, before noticing that the real Spike was watching his actions. 

It only took Spike, the Brave and Glorious, half a second to realize why there would be another Spike in such a remote place. It was also the exact amount of time needed for the fake Spike to be engulfed in blue magic fire and reveal his true self. 

“Ch-ch-ch-changeling!” Spike shouted and tripped, but he was back on his feet and making a break for the tunnel as fast as he possibly could. Sheer panic had overtaken his rational thoughts, and even though it sounded like the horrid creature was trying to say something, the drake was too concerned with saving himself to listen.

A quick glance back confirmed that the bug was not chasing him, but in so doing, Spike lost sight of the stalagmite that had previously saved him, and he bounced off of it with a grunt. He staggered back, lost his footing, and fell into the chasm, but after a moment of sheer panic—and a desperate wish to suddenly grow wings—Spike found his freefall halted, then reversed.

“This is unexpected,” he said as the changeling hoisted him up by the tail. Once they were over snow once more, Spike was dropped, and the surprise savior landed in front of him.

“The ice is pretty slippery,” he offered, his eyes downcast. “I wouldn’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

“You… you saved me?” Spike asked.

“It’s okay. I know you don’t want to be friends.” The changeling began to buzz away, but he stopped when Spike called out for him. 

“I don’t understand.” Spike spoke his thoughts out loud, in the hopes that, in so doing, he could figure out what was going on. “Changelings are supposed to be evil, right?”

“Evil? Oh, not me.” The changeling touched down again. “All I’ve ever wanted was a friend, from the moment I first split my egg in the nursery hive.” He paused, as if he were remembering the moment, then went on. “I was part of the attack on Canterlot during the royal wedding, but I’d never seen true friendship like that! I couldn’t just steal it and feed on its love! I wanted to share it!”

“Wait a minute! You’re the changeling that helped Prince Baked Bean escape from the hive, aren’t you? Thorax, right?”

Thorax nodded. “I did, but after I helped him, I knew I couldn’t live with my kind anymore. I set off, looking for love to share, but…”

“But what?” Spike prompted.

“I’m starving!” Thorax blurted with an involuntary twitch. “And there’s so much love in the Crystal Empire right now! It’s what drew me here, and it’s driving me crazy!”

“That would be from the Royal Crystalling.” Spike gave a sympathetic pat on the changeling’s cheek. “It’s pretty much a giant outpouring of light and love for a new baby.”

Thorax hissed and snarled at this news, but then he stuffed a hoof in his mouth to stop himself. “Oo! Sorry! I’m just so hungry. If I had a friend, maybe the love we shared could sustain me, but I don’t think the crystal ponies want to be friends.”  

Spike thought for a moment, but then brightened. “What if I told you there was somepony they respect and admire so much, he could convince them to give it a try?”

“If only that were true.”

“It is! I mean, I am! It’s me, Spike!”

The changeling’s confused look was not the response that Spike had expected, and he deflated slightly. “Spike? The Brave and Glorious? I’m sure you’ve heard of me.”

“Nope,” Thorax said. “But I was raised mostly in the hive. Canterlot was my first time outside, and I frightened so many ponies. I can’t believe that you want to help me.”

“Why? Hasn’t anypony ever just been nice to you?”

Thorax snarled again, then retreated in embarrassment. “Sorry! Kindness like that kinda brings it out. Do you still want to be my friend?”

“Of course! And I am one hundred percent sure I can get the whole Crystal Empire to be your friend, too!”

That sent Thorax into a foaming frenzy of hissing, and it took him a moment—and both of his front hooves shoved in his mouth—to stop himself once more.

“But maybe I should just talk to them first,” Spike offered sheepishly.


 * *  ✹ * * 


“You know, Pokey-poo, it’s simply outrageous what I do for you and for all of ponykind.” Chrysalis twisted this way and that to take in her complete look in the vanity mirror, and she gave the reflection a smug smile. “I mean, just look at me! The very image of stunning elegance and reserved grace, called upon to make a public appearance before dignitaries and potentates once again.” A tube of black lip gloss was plucked from the selection of cosmetics on the table before her as she spoke, and in one smooth motion, she applied an even layer on her bottom lip, then pressed her lips together several times to ensure an even coating. “Perfect isn’t easy, but it certainly is me.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Chrysalis watched as Hokey Pokey rolled his eyes, but her smile grew when his gaze returned to her. Despite all of his professed annoyance at having to foalsit her during this visit, he certainly didn’t have any problems with enjoying the view, and that was a fact she was going to exploit to the fullest. 

“Naturally, when one knows the world is watching, one does what one must,” she went on, snagging several bobby pins with her magic to pull her mane into a stunning updo. “Some minor adjustments, darling, but not for my vanity, of course.”

“Of course,” Pokey replied dryly. “How very thoughtful of you.”

“Aren’t I?” she coyly shot back. “But when all the world says ‘yes,’ then who am I to say ‘no?’ Clearly, the dignitaries that Sunbutt and that Bean have invited are positively starved for a Queen of the highest caliber, and just look how my breeding shows! Woof!” She threw a dramatic hoof to her forehead while using her magic to pluck a large green bottle from the table and remove the stopper. “Sometimes it’s too much for even me!”

“I very much doubt that.”

“Are you insinuating that I am doing this for my own benefit?” she asked in faux surprise. “My dear Pokey-poo! I thought you knew me better than that.” With a grin, she splashed a generous helping of the contents onto her left foreleg. 

“Chrissy, everything you do is for your own benefit.” Pokey moved from his position, a confused look slowly coming over him as he approached her. “And what in Equestria are you doing to yourself?”

“What, this?” Chrysalis shook the bottle, placed it back on the vanity, and then grabbed a nearby fluffy towel. “This is me proving my point, my succulent snack. As I recall, you were rather smitten when you found me in your shower, covered with that horrid armor wax. This,” she paused as she briskly rubbed one leg with the towel, “is how I achieve the same look without all of those nasty waxy side-effects.”

The Queen couldn’t hold back a small laugh of delight when she pulled the towel away and admired the results. The all-natural and removable polishing agent she had found had brought her chitin to a glorious shine, and even she admired how the light of the room flared off of her leg. With a hummed note of glee, she quickly ran the towel through the holes in her leg, inspected her handiwork for any missed spots, and then snagged the bottle again to repeat the process on her other foreleg.

“The bigger question I have right now is why you’re doing this,” said Pokey. “We aren’t feeling a bit jealous that the crystal ponies sparkle more than a certain changeling queen, are we?”

Chrysalis stopped polishing for a moment, but resumed with a strained smile and intent concentration on the process “Of course not, although it is a pleasant side benefit. I’m doing this because of you.”

“Hey, don’t try to pin your bizzare motivations on me.”

“Oh?” Pokey had inadvertently walked right into her trap, and now it was time to snap him up. She stuck her nose in the air slightly, and licked the rim of her lips with her tongue. “Then why am I tasting so much delicious lust in the air right now, hmm?”

Pokey’s cheeks turned a bright red, and he stomped away from her with some grumbling, half-hearted denial that wasn’t going to fool anypony, especially himself.

Chrysalis had to laugh at his embarrassment, but she couldn’t help but notice that it was a warm, joyful laugh instead of her usual cackle. 

Not that she minded how it sounded, or how much she enjoyed how it felt.

“C’mon, lovercolt.” Chrysalis floated the bottle in front of his nose and shook it back and forth a few times. “Since you like what you see so much, why don’t you help me out and start working on my back? Be gentle around my wings.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Are you done admiring yourself yet?” Hokey Pokey asked as he donned his helmet. “It’s time to head down to dinner.”

“Must I?” Chrysalis said to her reflection in the mirror, and she twisted so she could flick her tail across Pokey’s nose. “I could just stand here and admire myself all evening long. Or better yet, I could stand here, let you admire me, and then lick up every last drop of love you have.”

“Don’t get any ideas.” Although Pokey could somewhat conceal his blushing under his handsome royal purple coloring when out of uniform, it was impossible to hide any hint of red when he was Royal Guard white, but Chrysalis hoped he’d still try to. He was cute when he was embarrassed. “Remember, if you’re not on schedule, Sergeant Stonewall and the Crystal Corps ponies will beat the door down and haul you away.”

Chrysalis sighed, but she stepped towards the mirror to inspect her mane for loose hairs one last time. “I suppose you’re right. Besides, I shouldn’t keep all of this fabulousness to myself! It simply demands to be shared with the world!”

“Shall we, then?” he asked with an exaggerated motion towards the door.

“So, what’s on the menu for this evening?” Chrysalis asked as she turned and moved to leave. “It doesn’t really matter, of course, since all of your pony food tastes the same to Changelings, but if it’s something extravagant, I can swipe some love from the guests as they enjoy the meal.”

“Curry,” Pokey said flatly, stepping into the hallway where the rest of Chrysalis’ escort detail was waiting. “Nothing but curry for as far as the eye can see.”

Chrysalis stuck her tongue out at him. “Look, if you don’t want to tell me, then—” She cut herself off when an unexpected taste tickled her taste buds, and she sniffed the air.

“Now what are you doing?” Pokey asked with exasperation.

“Shut up. There’s something…” She sniffed again, glanced down the hallway towards the source of the smell, and grinned. “Or, rather, there’s some buggy here that shouldn’t be.”

“The rogue? In the palace?” Pokey gripped his spear firmly as the other guards tensed and glanced around. “How’d it get in here?”

“We changelings have our ways, but don’t you fret, my Pokey-poo. If I expose the little miscreant and deal with him right now, I’ll be an even bigger hero than Spike, the Lackey to Pain in the Butt or whatever his dumb honorific is.” Chrysalis sniffed again, then nodded to a hallway that branched off to the right. “He’s down that way.”

“At least he’s moving away from the dining hall,” Pokey said with some relief. “When we do catch up to him, detain but do not injure. Captain Armor will want to perform a full interrogation.”

“Oh, fine,” she said dejectedly. “Suck all the fun out of my day, why don’t you. At least say I can be there to torture him.”

“How do you know it’s a he?” a Crystal Guard pony asked. 

“Easy. He stinks,” she replied. “All males are rather pungent. Even you, Pokey-poo.”

“I do not stink,” Pokey huffed.

“Yes you do. Especially after you’ve worked up a sweat. I never said it was a bad stink, but it’s very distinct.”

Chrysalis suppressed her amusement as she caught Pokey trying to take a surreptitious sniff of his wing pit out of the corner of her eye. She quickly forced herself to focus on the trail. The damaged drone was close, getting closer, and possibly in company with another unidentifiable creature.

“...don’t worry!” A draconic voice carried down the hallway. “Just leave everything to me, and before you know it, you’ll have more friends than you’ll know what to do with!”

Chrysalis stopped, waited, and remained impassive as Spike and a crystal pony rounded the corner in front of her and ran into her chest. The pair stumbled back, but it was the pony who gasped louder, and he retreated behind the dragon with all possible haste.

“Spike?” Hokey Pokey stepped forward and glanced between the crystal pony and the Queen. “Forgive me, sir, but aren’t you supposed to be in the dining hall with the other guests by now?”

“Oh, I… um, I’m not all that… um, that hungry!” His words fumbled out in a most unconvincing manner, and he began to push his partner back slowly with an outstretched claw. “My friend Crystal Hoof here was… uh, was just getting ready to show me around the palace!”

“Show you around?” Chrysalis allowed one eyebrow to raise in suspicion, and she sniffed dismissively. “That will be rather difficult, don’t you think?”

“Wh-why do you say that?” the crystal pony asked with a nervous chuckle. “I’ve lived here my whole life.”

“I very much doubt that,” Chrysalis ripped the disguise away with a casual blast of magic. “Thorax.”

“Gah!” Thorax glanced himself over as the guard detail gasped and brandished their weapons. He then made the most logical decision that could possibly be made at that moment. 

He buzzed away as fast as his wings could carry him.

“Thorax! Come back here, you little termite!” Chrysalis was quick to pursue, knocking over her guards and Hokey Pokey like bowling pins as she did so. “It’s your fault that my wonderful plan fell apart! You let that Bean escape!”

“Heeeeelp!” Thorax wailed, his speed increasing as Chrysalis started lobbing magical shots at him. “I just wanted to make a friend!”

“MAKE A FRIEND?!” Chrysalis roared as they both slid around a corner. “Changelings DO NOT make friends! When I catch you, I’m going to take your profit sharing plan and shove it so far up your backside that you’ll be sneezing dividends for a year, do you hear me?!”

Thorax tried to round another corner in a desperate effort to lose his furious Queen, but he mistimed the turn and ended up clipping the edge of the wall, ricocheting off the opposing wall, and hitting the ground with a hard whumpf. Chrysalis was quick to take advantage of his misstep, and with a furious snarl, she tackled him but kept sliding down the hallway, her finely polished chitin providing no friction to the crystal floor to stop her forward motion.

There was another force in the hallway that did bring her momentum to a halt, and she glanced up to see what had stopped her while putting Thorax in a chokehold. 

She then swallowed hard as a particular odd male scent that she had discounted at first became horribly obvious. 

“Changeling?!” Prince Rutherford bellowed. The half-dozen yaks that were with him all roared with rage at the same time. “YAK SMASH!

“Why me?” Chrysalis had to ask. 


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Did you just hear something, my love?” Bean flicked his ears and paused as his gaze moved to something past the hallway to the dining room. “I thought I heard the yaks.”

“I thought I heard something too.” Celestia glanced behind her, her horn lit with magic as the floor shuddered to a distant impact. “Something must have happened. Here, take Apollo, please. I can put up a shield faster if needed this way.”

“Do you think Chrysalis is up to something? It wouldn’t surprise me, but if she is that dumb, the yaks will stomp her flatter than your pancakes.”

“I would like to say that she is not the source of the disruption, but it is Chrysalis.”

“Help me, save me! Help me, save me!” Chrysalis’ desperate cry echoed up the hallway, and half a moment later, the buggy Queen launched herself into the hallway with enough speed to bounce off the opposite wall, with another changeling clamped tightly around her neck. As soon as she caught sight of Celestia and Bean, she made a mad dash in their direction, lept behind them, and repeated her desperate pleas while cowering behind the solar princess. 

“Help me, save me!” she begged. “This is no way to treat your guests, Sunbutt!”

“What did you do this time?!” Bean demanded, twisting away from her with Apollo.

“YAK SMASH!”

“Help me, save me!” Chrysalis ducked under Celestia’s ethereal tail, but the Princess quickly moved to both stop the incoming yak stampede and expose the changeling Queen.

“Gentlecreatures!” she called out to the Yak delegation. “What seems to be the trouble here?”

“Yaks find Changeling!” Rutherford snarled. “Yak want to smash! Yak will protect Crystal Empire from evil bugs.”

“We really shouldn't get involved here, dear,” Bean dryly quipped. “We’ll be late for dinner if you hold them up.”

“Not so fast,” Celestia said with a slight glare for her husband. “Prince Rutherford, why exactly do you want to smash Queen Chrysalis?”

“Need reason to smash bug?” asked Rutherford with a puzzled expression.

“Here, yes,” said Celestia patiently. “Did she do anything to you today?”  

“She invaded crystal palace with another changeling!” He spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Yes, but other than that, what has she done?”

“Well, she…” Rutherford trailed off, glanced at the other yaks around him, then to Horwitz. “Yaks stop Queen from doing it!” he said with a wide grin as the thought came to him. “Pony Blueblood tell Yaks all about how changelings steal love from anyone, even Yak. Can look like any yak, too. Blueblood say smash any Changelings we see, and now we see two!”

“Two?” Bean turned to face Chrysalis, who was still trying to cower behind Celestia. “I only saw Queen…” He paused when he noticed the smaller bug still clinging to Chrysalis’ neck, and he tilted his head slightly. “Wait. Thorax? Is that you?!”

“Prince Bean?” The terrified changeling slowly opened one eye, looked at the prince, then grinned and buzzed into the waiting friendly hug. “Bean! Hey, it’s good to see you again!”

“What in the name of my wife are you doing here?” Bean pulled back and glanced him over. “You're skinny as a twig. Have you seriously been on the run this whole time?”

“Pretty much. I never thought I’d see you again!” 

“Neither did I!” Bean laughed, then threw a foreleg around his shoulders as he turned to the others. “Celly! Prince Rutherford! This is Thorax! This is the changeling who helped me escape from the hive! He’s one of my best friends!”

“Just stomp me already,” Chrysalis muttered under her breath.

“Friend?!” Yona blurted out with bright, excited eyes and a little hop that made the corridor shake. “Changeling save pony from other changelings?”

“Yeah! Thorax, you should come to dinner with us! We can tell them the whole story, and then we can get you set up with a room for the night. I wish I’d known it was you out there!”

“It’s okay, I haven’t been here for very long. Oh!” Thorax twisted and produced a small ream of haphazardly-stacked papers from his saddlebags. “I saved the story you were writing in the hive. I thought you might like to have it back.”

“You saved it?” Bean took the papers and glanced over the top page. 

“Of course! I even did some proofreading. I hope you don’t mind. It’s a really good story; I hope you’ll publish it one day. You just need to work on using active voice instead of passive voice, and a few tiny continuity errors, and you use commas too much, and…”

Behind them, Queen Chrysalis began to slowly and deliberately beat her head against the wall. Everypony ignored her.

“I don’t think I want to know how badly I did with this,” Bean interrupted. Apollo had begun to reach for the crinkling paper, making hungry noises. “Anyway, Pollie is getting restless, and we’re running late for dinner. Why don’t we talk about my mistakes after that?”

“Sure! Wow, imagine running into you here, of all places!” Thorax gleefully said. 

“So, little bug is good bug?” Rutherford asked.

“Yes,” Bean said. “You can smash the big one if you want to—”

“Hey!” protested Chrysalis.

“—but Thorax is my friend and, now, my special guest.”

“I’ve been on my best behavior,” huffed Chrysalis. “Doesn’t that count?”

“Best is relative,” said Bean. Celestia quietly shushed him.

“Queen Chrysalis was invited to come here as the official representative of the Changelings,” she added. “I would greatly appreciate it if you did not smash her.”

“Fine.” Rutherford said, the herd of yaks around him moaning in disappointment. “No smash.” He paused for a moment and gave Chrysalis an evaluating stare. “Unless Queen deserve it.”

“Now, shall we head to dinner?” Celestia motioned with a hoof, and every creature followed her gesture. Celestia put a hoof out in front of Chrysalis to hold her in place for a moment, and once the crowd had thinned, she gave the buggy Queen a sidelong glance.

“I do believe this means you owe me one,” Celestia quipped with a mischievous glint in her eye.

“Oh, I’ll pay you back. You don’t have to worry about that,” Chrysalis grumbled, her eyes on the ground. “I suppose I should say Th-th-th…”

“Thank you?”

“You’re welcome.” Chrysalis briskly pushed past her just as her honor guard reappeared in the hallway.

“Your Highness!” Sergeant Hokey Pokey leveled his spear at Chrysalis’ chest. “What happened? Are you all right, ma’am?”

“I’m just fine, Sergeant. Stand down, and escort Chrysalis to the dining room.”

“I hope there’s a full bar. I’m going to need something stiff to get through tonight,” Chrysalis muttered.


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Oh, the indignity.”

Chrysalis sourly took in the sights before her, and once again, she bemoaned her fate. Sunbutt, that Bean, the little Bean, Moonbutt, Lovebutt, and Studly were seated at the head of the opulent dining hall, along with the visiting yaks, an ancient griffon and his granddaughter, most likely, Pain in the Butt and her friends, and a few other crystal pony dignitaries. As the Most Royal Queen of All Changelings, she should be seated with them, wining and dining without a care in the world, like royals tended to do.

Instead, she had been firmly escorted to the back of the hall to sit at the ‘little foal’s table,’ forced now to sit between a smelly yakling and a griffon who looked like he’d rather be anywhere in the world but where he was.

And where was Thorax? That little traitor had been given the center seat at the head table! Even now, the traitorous termite and that Bean were regaling the assemblage with the tale of how Chrysalis had cared for Baked Bean and his injured leg, and the miserable little bug was gleefully sharing how he had assisted with that Bean’s escape.

But the worst part? The worst part, by far, was that he was getting all of the love in the room, and he didn’t even have to steal it! It was just flowing to him from the guests, and the idiot probably didn’t even realize what was happening!

“This is cruel and unusual punishment,” she moaned, her tongue darting out for a second to taste the freely-given affection. “I should sue.”

But since lawyers were a type of parasite that even she didn’t want to interact with, Chrysalis was forced to glower, mope, and poke at her stuffed mushroom with a fork while imagining the fungi was really a despised minion of hers.

Or ex-minion, once she got away from the crowd and finished what she’d started.

Out of sheer boredom and desperation, Chrysalis glanced to her left, thinking that maybe she could strike up a conversation with the yakling and provoke some sort of emotional response out of it. The furry beast was giving her an intense death glare, and her eyes narrowed even more when they made contact with the Queen’s. 

“Yak smash,” she said in a low, threatening voice while pounding one hoof into the other.

“Well, you’re quite the conversationalist, aren’t you?” Chrysalis turned to her right and glanced at the blue-plumed griffon who did the same to her. “How about you, Feathers? Are you as monosyllabic as your friend over here?”

“Yona’s not my friend, and I don’t have anything to discuss with you either, Highness,” he shot back with a huff.

“Majesty.”

“What?”

“I am a Queen, so the proper address is ‘Your Majesty,’ not ‘Highness.’”

“You’re not my Queen, so I’ll call you whatever I want, Bugbreath.”

His audacity should have angered her, but for some odd reason, Chrysalis found his unmitigated gall stimulating. “So what charming nickname do you have for Celestia and Luna, then?”

“Your Highness.” 

“Oh? You’ll give them due deference, but not moi?” she said with faux surprise. “It’s almost like they dumped a pile of bits into your claws once, and now you feel obligated to respect them.”

“Sure, yeah. Let’s go with that.”

Chrysalis leaned back and smiled smugly as she evaluated her prey. Griffons were just too easy to read, and to manipulate. “But I bet you took them and stuffed them in your mattress back home, didn’t you? Just saving whatever bit of gold you can get so you can move away from Griffonstone and never look back, right?”

“What’s it to you?” he asked warily. “Or can you not mind your own business?”

“Oh, I mind my own business. I mind it quite well, actually.” She had him now. Hook, line and sinker. “For instance, did you know that each of my dear little changelings received a seven percent pay increase last year, and a profit sharing bonus that was well over two thousand bits per ‘ling?”

“What?” The griffon’s full attention was on her now. “Two thousand bits? Who’d you steal that from?”

“No stealing. Unless you count reading the markets exceptionally well,” Chrysalis replied with a wide, toothy grin. “I don’t just sit on my throne all day, eating caviar and drinking champagne, you know. As Queen, I am both duty-bound and pleased to do whatever I can to provide for my dear little hive, whether that be finding them love or helping them achieve their financial goals.”

“So, you use bits in the hive, too?” 

“Of course. How else would we pay for things?”

“I thought you had some kind of collective thing going. Like a beehive or something.”

Chrysalis scoffed. “That would never work. Changelings are far too greedy. I’m sure you understand that, Mister…?” 

“Gallus.”

“Gallus. Changelings, like griffons, are just looking to get ahead in life, to have enough to take care of their needs and maybe put away a little for retirement later. We’re really not all that different, if you think about it.”

“How do you even get bits?” Gallus asked. “It’s not like you bugs go out and work normal jobs.”

“Au contraire. My hive is a self-sustaining economy, with abundant employment and opportunity for all, with availability to education, healthcare, and resources that is second to none. We invest in foreign markets, we have venture capitalists who invest in research and development, and we have a robust legal system to ensure equity and fairness to all.” But mostly me.

“Right, sure.” Gallus rolled his eyes. 

“Snicker all you like, but it’s all true. Lovey Dovey Smoochy Land is rich and dynamic, both things that can’t be said for Griffonstone, I’m sure.”

“Okay, then, Missus Know-it-All. What would you do to make Griffonstone better?”

Chrysalis smiled lecherously. “How long do you have?”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Interest can either be your best friend or your worst foe.” Chrysalis casually draped a foreleg over the back of her chair as she went on. “It never sleeps, never takes a vacation. It’s always there, ever-increasing, unyielding to demands or entreaties that might be made to it. You want to make those bits of yours multiply? Reduce the amount of interest you pay, and increase the amount of interest paid to you.”

Gallus studied the empty dinner plate in front of him for a moment, and then glanced back up. “So, what should I invest in?”

Griffons are such greedy little things. They’d almost make for good employees, if they weren’t so independent and stubborn, Chrysalis thought before going on. “It really just depends on how much risk you want to take. Stock markets can be prone to wild fluctuations, so you can both win big and lose big, and sometimes they both happen within minutes of each other. Pony banks offer certificates of deposit with guaranteed returns, but they’re low yield and can take years, sometimes, to mature fully. Since you’re young, taking a bigger risk isn’t as much of a problem, since you have time to recoup your losses. Griffonstone is an emerging market with many, many untapped resources. It would be exceedingly difficult for our investment group to know just where to put our money and influence to work without substantial research.”

Gallus nodded slowly, but with a frown. “I hate doing homework.”

“But investing in a broad-based collection of new griffon businesses allows us to take advantage of their growth potential without sacrificing everything on one or two failures. We call it—” Chrysalis allowed her teeth to show in a pleased grin “—diversification. That’s how we play the game. Win, lose, or draw, we win. If you don’t like the rules, then either go home or do something to change them.” 

With that, a sudden thought came to the Queen, and she pondered over it for a moment. Changelings needed love. The Crystal Empire was chock full of the stuff. If she wanted access to this precious commodity, then she needed to play the game by pony rules, until she could change them herself. 

Her eyes then drifted up to Thorax, still cheerfully chatting with the royals around him. Her lips curled up as her latest devious plan came together in her head. 

“Attention, everycreature!” Chrysalis stood and spoke in an almost-shout, bringing all conversations in the room to an abrupt halt. “I, Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings, have an announcement to make.”

“What are you doing?!” Hokey Pokey hissed behind her. She ignored him and continued.

“First, I would like to offer, on behalf of all Changelings, my congratulations and well-wishes to Princess Celestia and Prince Bean for the birth of the young Prince Apollo. May you all be happy and receive nothing but the best as you begin this new adventure as a family.”

This pronouncement was met with some scattered applause, and Chrysalis forged ahead with her plan. “Secondly, I would like to formally announce that, at this time, I have selected Thorax to act as our Ambassador to the Kingdom of Equestria and the Crystal Empire.”

“What?” asked Hokey.

“What?!” cried Bean and Celestia.

“WHAT?!” screeched Thorax, who looked like he was about to faint out of sheer terror. 

“When I asked to be invited to this Crystalling, I spoke of improved changeling-pony relations, for the good of both of our kingdoms. But this is only the start of what I hope will be a greater collaboration between us. With Thorax here, speaking on behalf and working towards a mutual understanding of Changelings, I am confident we can put any past incidents between us aside, and instead work towards a future that brings prosperity and opportunity for all. 

“And so, may I offer a toast!” Chrysalis’ magic hoisted her wine glass into the air. “To Ambassador Thorax, and to the future of our Kingdoms!” 

Most of the gathered dignitaries were quick to hoist up their own glasses and join in her toast, including the yaks and the griffons. To Chrysalis’ delight, however, the royal delegation received her announcement with mixed results. Studly hoisted his glass but did not drink. Lovebutt joined but then downed the whole glass in one regal gulp. Pain in the Butt and her friends just glanced at each other with worried expressions. Moonbutt simply mirrored the Queen’s moves without any hint of emotion.

That Bean looked furious, and he didn’t bother to do anything but glare, which was just fine with Chrysalis. But Sunbutt’s reaction was… inscrutable, annoyingly enough. Without even trying, the Princess of the Sun looked annoyed, intrigued, doubtful, hopeful, and playful all at the same time, but there was still the impression that there were a thousand more thoughts and emotions going on behind those magenta eyes that were locked on the buggy Queen. 

No matter. Let her think whatever she wants to.

“And with that, I think it’s high time for dessert!” Chrysalis finished. 


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Princess Luna?” Corporal Larkspur knocked on the door to the guest chambers, then slowly nudged it open. “Princess?”

“Yes, Corporal?”

“Where are you?”

“Out here. What do you need?”

A soft breeze rustled the curtains over the balcony windows and revealed the nocturnal alicorn, who was framed perfectly in the middle of the recently risen full moon. Larkspur slowly crossed the room as he studied her sparkling, ethereal mane and her soft navy coat, which was reflecting a portion of the moonlight and giving a glowing, almost ethereal look to the Princess. Her penetrating cyan eyes remained on him as he made his way to her, and a soft smile awaited when he stopped and saluted.

“Princess Luna, Ma’am, I have been asked by Prince Bean and Captain Armor to check in on you and see if you are well. With Chrysalis’ troubling announcement at dinner, the Princes are on high alert for some sort of scheme.”

“I see.” Luna turned to look out over the crystal homes, each with small pinpricks of light coming from the windows as they settled comfortably into her eventide. “That was quite the shock, was it not?”

“I thought it was,” Larkspur said softly. “Ma’am.”

“At ease, Lark. You may report that I am well, and that I have seen no signs of disturbance. I shall be most vigilant tonight, if it will help to assuage their concerns.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Larkspur saluted again, made like he would leave, but then stalled and remained in place. Luna turned her attention back to him, and the corners of her mouth twitched up.

“Is there something else, Corporal?”

“No, ma’am. It’s just… Well, it’s a nice night, and I don’t have to report back immediately. Would you mind if I stayed here for a few minutes?”

“It would be delighted to have you stay, even if only briefly. Is there something on your mind?”

“Too much, I’m afraid.” The dutiful guard relaxed and removed his helm. “I don’t know what to think of what’s happened today.”

“Will you share your thoughts with me?” Luna sat next to him, and he huffed.

“I guess I’m just worried about what Chrysalis is up to. She’s caused so much trouble and pain in the past that it’s hard to believe that she’s appointing an ambassador to ‘improve relations’,’” he said while making air quotes with his free hoof. “I’d bet every last bit I have that she’s doing this as part of another invasion scheme.”

“I would not take that bet, if it were me,” Luna said calmly. “Yes, she has done terrible things in the past, but it is not difficult to see that she is not the same Queen that she once was. I do not believe her actions are part of some master plot.”

“You don’t?”

“Please, come sit with me,” Luna offered, and he did so. “I do not. Firstly, consider that everything you have said could be applied to me during my time as Nightmare Moon.”

Larkspur’s gaze went to his front hooves in embarrassment. “This is different.”

“Only because you say it is. Secondly, Chrysalis has been changed by her time among us ponies, and especially by Sergeant Hokey Pokey. She would not do anything that would bring harm to him, or that would ruin the life she now shares with him.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Love.” Luna’s radiant smile lit up the night, and her gaze went to the moon with his. “You know how powerful it is, how it can change our very natures. Chrysalis has felt true love, received from Pokey without coercement and without deceit. Now that she knows what she can have, she will not risk losing it again.”

“Forgive me,” he said as a breeze swept Luna’s long tail around his shoulders and over his back. “But my sister thought she had that kind of love, too. Being madly in love doesn’t magically solve all your problems.”

“I agree. To have a lasting love, both partners must be committed to each other, dedicated and unwavering. They must be willing to sacrifice, to compromise and to listen.”

“All things that Queen Chrysalis has a very hard time doing.”

“Perhaps, perhaps not.” Luna bobbed her eyebrows at him. “But from what I have seen, I am of the opinion that she, in fact, is doing those things. It is just not in the ways that we expect to see it.”

“If you say so,” Larkspur said with a small chuckle. 

The two of them sat together in a comfortable silence for a few moments, each content to watch the moon as it slowly continued to ascend into the night sky. Luna’s words had given Larkspur something to ponder, yet he also found that he felt more at peace with what was going on after hearing them.

“Larkspur?” Luna’s tender word gently broke into his reverie. “May I ask you something personal?”

“Of course, Princess.”

“How did you propose to your wife?”

Larkspur inhaled sharply. “I haven’t thought about that since…”

“If the subject is too tender, I understand.”

“It is, but…” he thought for a moment. “I don’t mind telling you.” He paused, but went on when she nodded to him. “We’d been dating for about six months or so. I was still a cadet at the time, working my way through boot camp. I knew I wanted to do something special when I asked her, but I didn’t want it to be something normal. So, I started looking around for somewhere, but Captain Armor busted me snooping around a balcony one night. 

“That was when I lost all control over the matter,” he said with an amused snort. “The Captain and all my squad mates hijacked the rest of it. Patience thought I’d been drummed out of the guard for some unknown reason, and Captain Armor had her come to the palace to do a whole interrogation thing, asking her what she knew about me, how long we’d known each other, what she thought of me. Once he was done with that, the rest of my squad escorted her in a parade march to the throne room in full formals, put her on Celestia’s throne, and then allowed me to enter. I proposed to her at the foot of the dais, but she leapt down, tackled me, and said ‘yes’ before I got through with ‘will you.’ Captain Armor then gave his blessing to the union, and we were married nine months later.”

Luna chuckled warmly with him. “A most inventive proposal, indeed. Was my sister aware of these things?”

“I don’t think so. Captain said not to mention it to her, since he was ‘borrowing’ the throne, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was told beforehand. How about you? How did Star Struck propose?”

“Well, he clubbed me over the head and then dragged me back to his cave while grunting and picking his nose,” Luna replied with as straight a face as she could muster. “Marriages worked differently a thousand years ago.”

Larkspur gave her a playful look. “That can’t be true. I know you booped his nose at some point, just like Prince Bean and Princess Celestia.”

“Indeed. Now that I think about it, I may have a few details wrong.” She stood, and with a gentle tug, she pulled him up and led him towards the center of the balcony. “Let me see. If memory serves, we had been what you would now call dating for about two years. There was much opposition to our budding relationship, especially from my parents, but their efforts to separate us only pushed us closer together. We were here, in the Crystal Empire, celebrating the anniversary of the founding of Equestria.  The Castle of the Two Sisters was still under construction, so this was the only location available that could hold such a large gathering. In a rather fitting bit of foreshadowing, I excused myself from the merriment at nightfall, filled with annoyance and jealousy towards my sister and to the ponies who were praising her, as the party seemed to be focused solely on Celestia and all of her work to keep our new Kingdom going.”

“He found me out here, pouting.” Luna paused, glanced around, then nudged Larkspur into a spot just to the side. “I believe he sat exactly upon that stone while I sat here.” She sat in the center. “And for several hours, he listened as I poured out my frustrations to him. Once I was done, he took my hoof in his, smiled, and said ‘Lass, all ponies see the light from where they stand. Celestia burns brightly now, but give it time, and they’ll see what I now behold.’”

“He saw your light,” Larkspur said reverently. Luna nodded. 

“He was the first, and it was at that moment that I knew, beyond any doubt, that I loved him. He filled my soul with warmth and peace, and it was then that he told me, come Tartarus or high water, that he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. We did not exchange rings in those days, so with his pronouncement, we were betrothed, since engagements did not exist, either. We were married three months later, and our first nose boop was shared just as we said our ‘I do’s.’”

“I think your story wins.”

Luna shook her head, but with a smile. “Nay. There is not and should not be winners with such things. Any marriage proposal, however elaborate or simple, is special. Had I been an earth pony like he was, we would have simply agreed to be married, paid the local lord the union tax, and then moved in together as husband and wife. Romance was added during my banishment, much to my confusion when I first returned.”

“Oh?”

“A citizen of Ponyville called out and said he loved me during the celebration that was held in the immediate aftermath of my redemption. I then asked my Sister how long I’d been betrothed to him, and if our wedding would be held on the morrow. It took her some time to explain things to me,” she finished with a light laugh. 

“Understandable. I don’t know what I’d do if I suddenly found myself a thousand years in the future, with nothing or nopony familiar to me except for Mint.”

“I would not recommend it. It is very… disorienting.”

A quiet peace came over the pair, and Luna soaked in the serenity as she gazed into his pale gray eyes. Their color was nothing like the golden hue of her beloved Star’s, yet she could see the same devotion, the same tenderness, and the same compassion within their depths. 

The similarity was astonishing, despite the vast time between then and now.

“Well, I should probably report back,” Larkspur said reluctantly, and the pair stood. “Once I do, I need to assist the detail assigned to Chrysalis.”

“Of course. Thank you for your time, Corporal. I enjoyed our conversation greatly.”

“I did too.” Larkspur slowly donned his helm, turned to face her, smiled, and saluted. “Good evening, Luna.”

“Fair eventide, Lark.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


Celestia drew in a long, deep sigh as she laid her slumbering son in the bassinet. She took a moment to study his cherubic face. The day had been long, and tomorrow would probably be even longer, so she was pleased that he had gone to sleep so quickly. 

“Your life is going to be quite the adventure, isn’t it?” she softly murmured, her hoof gently caressing his cheek. “Just look at what’s already happening, and you’re not even a month old yet. I hope, for your sake, that I can take Chrysalis’ statement at face value, and that Thorax will, somehow, bring about better relations between changelings and ponies. But come what may, I will always be here to protect you.”

Such a statement, however, held very little conviction in it. Instead of comfort, Celestia found that she felt… nothing.

There was no joy in her words, no happiness from her peaceful son. To her dismay, she felt rather disconnected from her newborn, almost like she was simply looking over someone else’s meal while they made use of the lavatory. 

She shook her head and turned towards the light coming from outside the room. It had been a long day, and most likely, she was simply tired and needed to rest. A glass of water and a husband to snuggle was surely what she needed, and by the time of the Crystalling tomorrow, she would be back to her normal self.

Provided she could tear Bean away from his project, of course. As she entered the main area of the royal guest chambers, she glanced down and began to tiphoof her way across and around the scattered papers with great care, so as to not disturb Bean’s layout. The author himself was standing near the closed balcony doors, a large stack of papers still in hoof and an annoyed scowl on his face. His eyes flicked up to her as she picked her way over to him, and he huffed as she moved to his side.

“Any luck?” she asked.

“None whatsoever. I have no idea what I was trying to do with this. Most of what I wrote isn’t even coherent, and I can’t even blame Chrysalis. I wrote all this junk before she tried to melt my brain. I mean, look at this.” He grabbed a paper off the floor and began to read. “‘The sky was dark, and the air was cold, and he gripped the spear so tightly that his hooves felt like cheddar cheese.’ What is that even supposed to mean?”

Celestia thought it best to not answer that question.

“And it just keeps going on like that!” Bean swept a hoof over the sea of parchment and snorted. “I don’t think I can use any of this. I’m just going to let you incinerate every last paper here. Staring with these ones.” He shook the small ream he held. 

“Why do those deserve to perish first?”

“In this stack is the start of a story where a boy meets a girl, falls in love with her, and marries her,” he began.

“Sounds familiar,” Celestia cut in with a smile.

“Just missing the nose boop.” He bobbed his eyebrows at her and gave her a kiss. “But then, once he’s declared that she is his one and only, the boy proclaims that he must go out into the world for the good of all, leaving his newlywed bride alone as he seeks out meaning and understanding in life. I can’t stand stories that use that plotline, and I refuse to ever write such garbage.”

“Why?”

“Because to me, if you love somepony, you stay with them,” Bean said with deep conviction. “Take us, for example. Once we got married, I could have said that I still needed to ‘find myself,’ and then left you here to run Equestria while I go tromping across the countryside in an effort to be a better chef. That’s stupid. I found myself when I met you, and if I truly and honestly love you, then I should be with you, at your side. If, for some reason, there is something for me to go find out in the wide world, then who better to help me look than my Immortal Beloved? I’ve been apart from you, and I hated every moment of it.” His voice cracked slightly, and the two nuzzled each other. “No. My life, now and forevermore, is with you.”

“I have no doubt about that. You have been at my side through the most severe of trials and tribulations, and I do not believe there is anything that would separate you from me, short of death itself. And,” she leaned in so close that her lips brushed against the fine hairs of his ear, “I will never abandon you, my beloved Bean. I admit I am a sentimental old fool when it comes to love, and I never tire of reading about how a boy met a girl, and especially how they met in a patch of sunflowers.”

“Perhaps that should be my next book, then.” Bean turned slightly, and for several blissful minutes, the pair expressed their love for each other with a passionate embrace. 

“I look forward to reading it.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


Queen Chrysalis was feeling rather pleased with herself. 

Yes, the majority of this trip had been a washout at best, but things were beginning to look up. After her announcement at dinner, she had spent the rest of the time gorging herself on Hokey Pokey’s ill-hidden lust for her, which had proven to be both ample and satisfying. It was amusing that he had this kinky little part of him, but she was determined to exploit the fact for all it was worth. 

It would be doubly rewarding since, to the rest of the world, he appeared to be a pious, conservative stick-in-the-mud who lived by routines. Chrysalis always enjoyed having blackmail material on others. 

“Just this way, Ambassador,” Chrysalis called over her shoulder. “I promise this meeting won’t take long.”

“You’re not going to stuff my profit sharing plan… um, somewhere unpleasant, are you?” Thorax whimpered. 

“Perish the thought! All is forgiven, my loyal subject. That was simply a momentary outburst, nothing more.”

“Some outburst,” a guard on her left grumbled. 

Chrysalis chose to ignore him, and she stopped in front of her chamber door. “Now, then, I would like to have a few words with the Ambassador in private. Once we have concluded, I will release him and retire for the evening.”

“Sergeant Pokey?” Only one guard spoke, but his tone carried the unspoken concern that all of the honor guard felt. 

“Set your watches outside the room,” Pokey ordered. “The Queen is entitled to privacy, if she desires it.”

“I’ll let my Pokey-poo in when I’m done, don’t worry,” Chrysalis purred. “Thorax?”

The two changelings entered her room, but Chrysalis took a few moments to barricade the door with a nearby chair for good measure. She then put a hoof on Thorax’s withers, and with a forceful tug, she pulled him towards the middle of the room.

“Listen up and listen well, you little maggot,” Chrysalis hissed in a low, dangerous tone. “I should terminate you with extreme prejudice, but luckily for you, I can’t under the circumstances.”

“And believe me, no one is more grateful about that than I am,” Thorax stammered.

“So here’s how this is going to work. Since I’m in Canterlot with Sergeant Pokey, you will remain here and learn everything you can about the Crystal Empire. I want you to find out how much love they produce, how the crystal heart works, and most importantly, how to get an infiltration crew in. The next time I see you, you had better have answers and a back door for me to use, or the location of your profit sharing plan will be the least of your concerns. Do I make myself clear?”

“Transparently, my Queen.” He gulped.

“Good. Glad to see we have an understanding. Save all the love you can, too. I’ll want your supply to feed the infiltrators when the time comes.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

“Now get out.” Chrysalis turned away from her minion, but she called out to him over her shoulder when she heard him move the chair aside. “Oh, and Thorax?”

“Yes, my Queen?” he hesitantly asked. 

“This is your last chance.”

Nothing more was said as he left. Chrysalis knew her words had frightened him, and that was exactly what she wanted. With a loyal lacky within the Empire, Chrysalis would soon have the keys to the kingdom, and more importantly, all of its love, too. 

With that cheerful thought, Chrysalis moved into the bedroom, slunk onto the bed, and positioned herself for maximum allure. The only thing she needed now was a large helping of her sweet Babboo’s loving, and when Chrysalis wanted something, she got it. 

After five minutes of waiting, Chrysalis twisted and turned in an effort to find the most sultry pose. 

After fifteen minutes, she sat up and grumbled about his absence. 

After forty-five minutes, she gave up on waiting completely and simply collapsed on the bed, irritated and frustrated that Pokey had not made his promised appearance. Part of her wanted to go out into the hallway, grab him by an ear, and drag him into the room, but the rest of her realized that such an action could be construed as an attack, and the antsy Crystal Corps ponies would react predictably. 

Eventually, long after the moon had risen over the horizon, Chrysalis heard the door creak open. She did not react as he gently tiphoofed his way in, but to her mild surprise, he slid up next to her, wrapped his left leg and left wing over her, and pulled her into a comfortable spooning position.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. We had to find somewhere for Ambassador Thorax to stay.” His whispered words slid into her ears with a tingly delight. “Gotta admit, I’m kinda proud of you, Chrissy. You’ve been fairly well behaved, despite everything that’s happened, and I appreciate that. It’s nice to not have to worry about what you’re up to.”

“Really?” She whispered back, an oddly satisfying warmth building in her chest. 

“Yeah. I think Thorax is really going to help both changelings and ponies understand each other better. He seems like a very open and honest individual and I can see that he really wants to make new friends. I can’t think of a better way to start a new relationship between our lands.”

“And here I thought you doubted my motives.”

“I’m working on that. I doubt you’ve totally reformed, but you’re getting there. See, I think you just need some motivation, that’s all.” He kissed the base of her neck, then slowly worked his way up over her involuntary squeaks of delight. “I know changelings aren’t supposed to be semi-gloss, but this polished look is very enticing. I wouldn’t object if you decided to do this more often.”

“And the truth comes out,” Chrysalis said with glee. “You have no idea how delicious your lust is, you know. I think I’ll take you up on your offer.”

“Oh, I bet I can guess.” His lips darted dangerously close to her jawline, making her ache for more. “You said, once, that I tasted like a decadent dark chocolate, with little almond bits sprinkled in it. I think that, right now, it’s like I just dumped you into a giant vat of the stuff, and you can’t help but be overwhelmed with desire…

“But if you want more from me, then you’ll need to mind your manners.” Hokey Pokey pulled back, and to the buggy Queen’s great dismay, it was like he had somehow just dumped a bucket of ice water on her. “I’ve been thinking, and the other day, it occurred to me that, as a Royal Guard, I’ve been drilled and disciplined on how to control my emotions. I’ve been working on keeping them away from you, and by your annoyed groan, I do believe I’ve just figured out how to keep them away from you.”

“Not fair.” 

“All’s fair in love and war,” he said with a devious laugh. “The terms are easy enough: good behavior gets love. Bad behavior gets none.”

Chrysalis gasped as a rush of love and desire slammed back into her, and she threw her head back with a light moan as she quickly drank in the offering. “Oh, you wicked pony. Whatever will I do with you?”

“I think the better question is what am I going to do with you.” Pokey nibbled at her neck again, then moved up her jawline and over her cheek. “And it’s a question that you should give a great deal of thought to.”

“I intend to, my sweet Babboo.” The Queen of all Changelings rolled over and pulled her love supply into a tight embrace. “You haven’t won this battle just yet.”

 
 * *  ✹ * * 

> Bonus! Nightmare Night!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  🎃 * * 


Prince Blueblood liked to think he was a stallion who was used to surprises. Having spent nearly a year living and working among Yaks meant there was never a dull moment, but even with all of that, the sight before him was one that he had never expected to see.

For as far back as he could remember, Princess Celestia did not participate in Nightmare Night. There were few ponies who realized how personally injurious the holiday was to his aunt, and even fewer who had seen the depths of her sorrow and despair when she was confronted with the annual reminder of her sister’s betrayal. Every time the dreadful date came, Celestia would order a large, two-tier cake—usually strawberry; occasionally vanilla; sometimes both—dismiss all the staff with an encouragement to enjoy the evening, and then retreat to her personal chambers to hide away and drown her sorrows in sugar. He, himself, had inadvertently wandered too close to her chambers once when he was younger, and the haunting sounds of her exquisite, anguished sobs would forever haunt his memories.

After Luna’s return and redemption, Celestia still avoided Nightmare Night like it was the plague. Most of Blueblood’s acquaintances, himself included, were of the opinion that Celestia was never going to overcome the pain, and if anypony had suggested that the fair Princess of the Day willingly participate in the festivities, they would have been declared insane and sent away for treatment. 

Yet here he stood, in the middle of the grand ballroom, surrounded by all the trim and trappings that came with Nightmare Night. Jack o’ lanterns with devious smiles were scattered about the hall, several large spiderwebs hung from chandeliers and doorways, ponies from all across Canterlot were enjoying each other’s costumes and the ‘spooky’ music, and the large buffet tables were stuffed with any sort of sweet that one could imagine.

“Pony Blueblood! What is going on?” Horwitz appeared at Blueblood’s left, looking perplexed. “Why are ponies dressed in costumes?”

“It’s a holiday we have in Equestria called Nightmare Night,” Blueblood explained. “Ponies of all ages will collect candy and treats from each other, and then offer a portion of those to Nightmare Moon.”

“Why do ponies give up candy?”

“It’s believed if Nightmare Moon gorges herself on candy, she won’t gobble up ponies.” Blueblood smiled and rolled his eyes. “Of course, that’s the greatly simplified explanation.”

“But Yak thought Princess Luna was Nightmare Moon. Has pony princess gone bad again?”

“No, Princess Luna has not returned to her evil ways. In all honesty, the holiday is all traditions and superstitions now, but Princess Luna enjoys playing along and will appear to be Nightmare Moon for the night. I’m told she will return to participate in the celebration after making her annual visit to Ponyville.”

“Pony Blueblood sounds surprised.” Horwitz noted. 

“To a degree. Nightmare Moon was defeated and banished by Princess Celestia, so I’m surprised that she’s not only a participant in the party, but that she was the one who organized it, as well. I suppose her husband is to blame for that.” He let out a light laugh. “Would you care to join in, Ambassador? I can explain more about the history of Nightmare Night, and there are some impressive prizes to be won at the various games. This will also give you a chance to sample pony cuisine, which I think you’ll find to be quite exceptional.”

The burly yak squinted slightly as he studied the various games and events in the hall. A smile slowly appeared, and the Ambassador pointed to a table. “Are those candied apples?”

“I believe they are, yes.”

“Yaks love candied apples. Stick gives it nice crunch. Yak want to learn more about crazy Nightmare-worshiping party.”  

Blueblood nodded and grinned. “Right this way.”


 * *  🎃 * * 



“Ponies have strange customs,” Horwitz remarked, with little bits of candied apple flying from his lips as he spoke. “Pony Princess tries to keep moon in sky forever, older sister stops her. Ponies then think that evil Nightmare Moon will escape and gobble them, unless Nightmare gets candy. Ponies dress up in costumes to keep Nightmare from finding them, even though candy is supposed to keep Nightmare away.” The yak took a moment to stuff the rest of his apple in his mouth. “Then ponies are safe for another year. Nightmare Night is very confusing. Not enough smashing.” 

“Don’t think too much about it. Simply enjoy the party,” Blueblood advised. 

Horwitz shook his head and snorted in amusement. “Yak enjoys free candy. Will send some back to Yona.”

“Take as much as you like. Just be sure to leave some for Nightmare Moon!”

Horwitz grunted. “Nightmare pony doesn’t scare yak. Where is she? Yak will prove Nightmare is not scary! Yak will take fear and smash it!”

“Her absence is a bit peculiar. Perhaps she is outside. Right this way, please.”

“Yak never have nightmares,” Horwitz boasted as the two of them stepped out into the crisp evening air. “Yak too brave! Nightmares scared of yak. Yak no need Princess to look over dreams.”

“It’s very fortunate that you do not,” Blueblood said with a slight eye roll. 

“Of course. Yaks best at everything! Pony Blueblood knows this from living with Yaks. Yaks will show ponies how to be brave, so ponies won’t have scary nightmares anymore.”

“That is quite generous of you, Ambassador.”

“And then, when Yaks and Ponies are friends, Yaks will…” Horwitz trailed off.

“Is something the matter?”

Horwitz didn’t reply for a moment. He was too busy trying to figure out where they were, and where the thick fog had come from. “Where did Pony Blueblood take Yak?”

“These are the royal gardens, Ambassador.” Blueblood gave the yak a confused look. “There’s nothing out of place, as far as I can see.”

“Pony Blueblood is trying to scare yak,” Horwitz announced with a hardy laugh. 

“I am? I’m doing a rather poor job of it, then. Come, Ambassador. Nightmare Moon should be around here somewhere.”

“Whatever Pony Blueblood is planning, it won’t work.” Horwitz glanced around, and he surreptitiously swallowed his growing nervousness. 

“I assure you, I have no plans. If you’d like, we can return to the party, however.”

“Ha! Take yak to see Nightmare!” Horwitz roared, hoping that his volume would cover his trepidation. “Yak is brave! Yak is strong! Yak won’t let smoke and mirrors be scary!”

“Very well. Oh!” Blueblood pointed to a figure emerging from the mist, silhouetted by a dull orange light that was fighting against the pale from within a kerosene lantern. “Perhaps this pony can help us. The evening crew is always pleased to assist. Excuse me, sir? Sir!”

“Is Pony Blueblood sure about this?” 

The two of them approached the figure. He still wasn’t scared, but the cloaked figure didn’t look very friendly. 

His suspicions were confirmed when the figure turned to face them, and the fearless yak retreated a step. The figure was pony shaped, but he was also dressed in a thick black coat, a wide-brimmed hat, and boots that were splattered and stained with some sort of red substance. His face—if this thing had a face—was concealed by a grim mask that extended out like the beak of a crow and had thick green glass over his eyes.

“Good evening, sir.” Blueblood greeted the pony-like spook against Horwitz’s unspoken objections. “Terribly sorry to bother you, but we are in need of some assistance.”

The masked pony tilted his head slightly, and when he spoke, his voice was thin and raspy, like hooves being scraped slowly across a chalkboard. “What are you doing here? How did you get here?”

“Here?” Blueblood repeated. “We simply walked out here, of course.”

“Come.” The oddly dressed pony picked up the lantern and held it up, as if trying to get a better view of the noble and the yak before him. “You are not safe here. These woods hold much danger.”

Horwitz glanced around at the large, imposing trees that hadn’t been there a moment ago, and he gasped. “What trick is this?! Pony Blueblood said we were in gardens, not forest!”  

“I don’t understand.” Blueblood’s words were full of concern as he took in the sight as well. “How did we get…”

“No time,” the masked apparition cut him off. “We must move.”

“Yak no like!” Horwitz tried to stay within the light as they began to walk down a poorly marked path. “Yak will smash if something tries to scare yak!”

“You’re welcome to try,” the mysterious pony replied. “There have been many who have tried to tame these wilds, but none have succeeded. The woods…” he paused and glanced over his shoulder. “Let’s say that the inhabitants of this cursed and blighted place answer only to one master, and that She Who Rules the Night does not take kindly to trespassers.”

“What of you, then?” Blueblood challenged. “You seem to be a little too familiar with this place, despite the supposed dangers that await.”

Their guide snorted. “So you may suppose. True, I have spent many moons in study and exploration of this foul abomination, in the vain and foolish hope that I might gain notoriety and wealth for my efforts. The Night has since taught me better, and I am no longer the fool that I once was.”

“So, you are a researcher?”

“A doctor, in a life so far removed from this one that I view it now as a pleasant dream. Such cold comforts are of little use or value to me now.”

Twigs snapping drew their attention to the left, and the doctor swung his lantern in an apparent attempt to catch their visitor. A deep depression pressed in on the trio, as if the woods themselves were trying to consume them.

“Come,” the Doctor finally said. 

Horwitz stayed right beside Blueblood as the duo tried to keep an eye on the encroaching darkness surrounding them. The groaning of branches and the rustle of dead leaves did little for yak nerves, and as they pressed deeper in, he was sure he could hear some malevolent whisper on the breeze.

“Where are we?” Blueblood asked once more. “If I can get my bearings, I might be able to teleport us out of here.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” the doctor warned. “The Everfree does not take kindly to such acts.”

“The Everfree Forest?” Blueblood hesitated, his head whipping at the sight of what looked like a pair of glowing eyes. “How did we get all the way out here, and so quickly?”

A high-pitched and decidedly maniacal laugh cut through the air, ensuring that his question would remain unanswered. The masked guide seemed to take no heed of the sound, but he did crane his neck around to face the others.

“That is not important. Come. We have bigger problems to overcome.”

“Where are you taking us?” Blueblood inquired.

“There is but one safe place in the Everfree, sir.”

“The Castle of the Two Sisters?” Blueblood glanced at Horwitz. “But… that is where Nightmare Moon lives!”

“Allegedly. It is also the only shelter for miles. If we can remain undetected, we might be able to send you both back to Canterlot, where you belong.” 

“Yak see nothing to be scared of.” Horwitz hoped his outright lie would give his courage a much-needed lift. “The woods are just trees. Trees just wood.”

“If such thoughts provide you with comfort.” The Doctor glanced to the left. “But I’d keep my distance, if I were you. The oaks tend to nibble.”

The trio moved forward without saying a word, but not in silence. The Everfree was filled with far too many dark shadows, creaking groans, and distant screeches from who-knew-what for Horwitz, and his shaggy fur nearly stood on end. With each snap, crack, and pop, he half-expected something sharp to leap out at him, and his trepidation built with each step. Yaks were unequivocally the best at smashing, but he couldn’t smash what he couldn’t see or touch. 

What unnerved him the most, however, was his emotionless guide. The black figure pressed on seemingly without a care for the welfare of himself or his followers, twisting and turning through the tangle of trees with a frightening degree of familiarity. How could he be so sure that he wasn’t being led to some sort of trap?

The yak had little choice in the matter. He dutifully followed along, his ears twitching madly as he tried to pick out any dangerous sounds. Beyond the ominous ambience, that is.

“Pony Blueblood!” he hissed quietly. “Is Nightmare Moon at Castle? Yak not want his backside to be gobbled.”

“Doubtful. At the least, it is Nightmare Night, so she should be scouring Equestria for costume-less ponies. Once we get there, I will be able to gain my bearings and return us to the safety of Canterlot.”

The doctor scoffed, but pressed on. Horwitz wasn’t sure how long they walked for, but it was far too long for his liking, especially when there were unseen things pulling his tail and taking swipes at his sides and rear when he wasn’t looking. After what seemed like several long hours, Blueblood stopped, glanced around, and frowned.

“This isn’t the way to the Castle.”

“Oh?” The doctor turned, contempt tainting his words. “Do you know the way?”

“No, but you’re leading us deeper into the forest. We should be heading in the opposite direction.”

“Is Pony Blueblood sure?” Horwitz cut in.

“I’m sure of it. Wayfinding is my special talent.” Blueblood motioned to his cutie mark, then began to walk away.

“Stay within the light, if you value your life.”

“I don’t know what your game is, but I’m not playing it anymore. If we head over to that ridge, we should be able to seeEEEEK!”

Before Horwitz’s terrified eyes, Blueblood was yanked into the darkness by an unseen monster, who cackled with wicked delight. The scream he wanted to let out got stuck in his throat, coming out as a whimper over the wet, crunching cracks from the forest.

“Would you care to follow him?” the doctor asked. Horwitz shook his head. “Good. Come.”

“Yak no like. Ponies should smash Everfree Forest and Castle, so Nightmare Moon leaves. Get Celestia to banish her again.”

“Nightmare Moon is not so easily dealt with. I am all too familiar with her methods and resolve. She can only be placated with flesh. Let us hope that Blueblood makes for a fitting meal.” 

“Candy!” Horwitz brightened with the memory. “Pony Blueblood say Nightmare Moon eat candy, not Yak!”

“I have none to offer her. Do you?”

“Um… no. Yak ate candy.”

“A pity. But our fortunes seem to be improving.” The doctor gestured towards a distant hill. “The Castle of the Two Sisters lies just over there.”

“Nightmare Moon lives there?” Horwitz evaluated the crumbling ruins, and more importantly, all of their nightmarish hiding places. 

“Come.”

Horwitz obeyed, and the two moved towards a rickety rope bridge that spanned a deep, foreboding chasm. Fog obscured the bottom, but the tips of several sharp rocks could be seen. Horwitz was not eager to find out what else might be down there.

“Wait.” The doctor held out a hoof, his head tilting upwards. “Stay close.”

“What? Why pony stop?”

“Shadowbolts. Get down!”

Horwitz dropped, but not before he felt something grasp at his horns. The doctor swung the lantern at their assailant, but to his horror, Horwitz caught sight of at least three figures in the wildly shifting light. With a laughter that sent chills to Horwitz’s bones, the Shadowbolts pressed their attack, each time being driven back at the last possible moment by the doctor’s actions. 

“Return to your master, you vile fiends!” The doctor pulled out a fine powder from somewhere within his coat, threw it in the lantern, and then smashed it on the ground. A bright flash drove the Shadowbolts back with a high-pitched screech that pierced Horwitz’s eardrums, and the terrified ambassador was quick to make a break for the rope bridge and the castle. 

“Yak no like! Yak no like!” He thundered across the bridge with all the speed he could muster, refusing to stop until he was past the rotten wooden doors that marked the entrance to the old ruins.

“Pony?” Horwitz tentatively called out.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about him.” A voice as dark as midnight gracefully slunk into the room. “You should really be more concerned with your own well-being at the moment.”

“Who’s there?” Horwitz demanded in his bravest voice. “Show yourself! Yak will smash!”

Thick swirls of pitch-black tendrils flowed into the room, snaking around the Yak and sweeping over his hooves until they held him fast, despite his best efforts to break free. A thick fog filled the area, making the approaching metallic hoof falls so ominous that Horwitz began to whimper again.

“Come now, Ambassador. I had heard that Yaks were not afraid of anything. Or have you not been entirely honest this evening?” 

“Yak not scared. Yak is… concerned. For Pony Blueblood.”

“Ah yes. The diplomat. His backside was far too gamey. Yours, on the other hoof, looks quite exquisite.”

“NO! No gobble up Yak backside! Yak is not pony!”

“True, but ponies have gotten rather stale over the last thousand years. Perhaps it is time I add some variety into my yearly feasts.”

Horwitz’s eyes went wide in alarm. A pitch black alicorn phased in from the distant shadows, her glowing draconic eyes glowing with wicked glee. Her silver armor softly clinked as she strode over toward the trapped yak. Her ethereal mane twisted and writhed, as if it held all the souls of her previous victims within it. Sharp, cruel fangs flashed in the moonlight, and an equally sharp tongue danced around the edge of her lips. 

“Nightmare Moon!” 

“The one and only. You’re very clever to have found my hiding place. Unfortunately, you won’t live to tell the tale.”

“Yak led here by other ponies! Yak not want to trespass!”

Nightmare Moon recoiled and snarled. “That infernal doctor again?! Hmm. I suppose I should thank him. He did lead you to me, after all.”

“What?”

“Enough about him. I shall deal with him in my own due time. Right now, I do believe it is time for me to gobble up some Yak backside!”

“BACK, YOU MONSTER!”

Horwitz gasped in joy as the doctor appeared out of nowhere, his kerosine lantern now affixed to the end of a long staff. He drove towards Nightmare Moon, stabbing and slashing with the meager light as she hissed and retreated. 

“You will pay for this, pony!” she roared. “I will not be denied!” 

“Horwitz! Run! I will hold her here!” The doctor swung again. His lantern connected with Nightmare Moon’s cheek, and she went sprawling into an unseen corner with an unearthly screech.

The yak needed no further invitation to flee. He smashed through what remained of the castle’s main doors and thundered across the rope bridge, heedless to the boards that were breaking under his hooves. He had no idea which way to run, but ‘away’ was better than nothing at all.

“Better hurry, my Yakkish delicacy!” Nightmare Moon’s voice lashed out from the treetops and scraped against his sides. “Your little friend can’t protect you out here!”  

“Yak no like! Yak no like! YAK NO LIKE!”

Horwitz squeezed his eyes shut tight as he smashed through trees, rocks, and whatever else happened to be in his way. 

“Faster! Faster!” Her haunting voice chilled his soul with an eternal dread. “I’m catching up to you!”

“NO! Yak no like! Yak sorry for making fun of Nightmare Moon!” Horwitz’s hoof hit a root, and he fell end over end until slamming to a stop against a large boulder. He pulled himself into a tight ball as the clanking of Nightmare Moon’s armor drew closer, and he shivered with fear from horns to tail. “Yak scared of Nightmare Moon!”

There was a sudden rush of energy, and then… nothing. No eerie wind, no needles of fear, no footsteps of impending doom.

For several long moments, the terrified ambassador did not move. But eventually, he dared to take a peek, just to see how long he had left before his backside was to be gobbled up.

“Gotcha.”

Horwitz glanced around. Nightmare Moon still stood before him, but her dark rage was gone, replaced with a playful, mischievous mirth that was palpable. She stood before him not in the Everfree, but on a balcony in Canterlot. Blueblood stood to her left, and the doctor was on her right.

“What is this?” he asked slowly.

“I hope we didn’t scare you too badly.” The doctor removed his hat and mask, revealing Prince Bean underneath. “You’re safe, Ambassador.”

“Not in Everfree?”

“No. You never were. That was all an illusion,” Nightmare Moon said. 

“Provided by myself,” Blueblood proudly added.

The reality of the situation was slow to dawn on the yak, but the pieces were fitting together. “Nightmare Moon not evil?”

“No. I am still Princess Luna. I only look like Nightmare Moon.”

“Not-a-Bean helped? HA!” Horwitz roared with laughter as he leapt to his hooves. “YAK LIKE! Yak never been so scared! Ponies know how to be frightening very well!”

The ponies laughed, with some relief. “I’m glad you enjoyed it! It took quite a bit of planning to get it just right,” Blueblood said.

“Yak is glad Nightmare Moon will not gobble up yak backside!” He pulled her into a tight hug, and the three of them walked back inside. “How did Princess make illusion? Yak want to take scary to Yakyakistan. Scare Rutherford and all Yak friends!”

“Perhaps after the party, Ambassador.”

“Yes! Yak want to get lots of candy, so Nightmare Moon will not gobble Yak! Pony Blueblood, come show Yak how to get lots of candy!”

“I think we’ve created a monster,” Bean quipped as Horwitz disappeared into the palace with a cackling laugh.


 * *  🎃 * * 

> 7. - Crystalling Pt. 3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✹ * * 

 
“Celly? Are you awake?”

“Mmungh?” was the most Royal Reply to Baked Bean’s question.

“I guess that’s a no, then,” he said with a note of concern. “Are you sick? I didn’t keep you up too late, did I?”

“No, no.” Celestia yawned, rolled onto her back, and stretched all of her limbs at the same time, much like a giant feathered starfish. “I am not sick. I just feel a little out of sorts, that’s all. This trip has been a rather wild emotional roller coaster ride, and I think it’s finally catching up to me.” 

The Princess of Day hoped that she sounded convincing, since she wasn’t fooling herself in the slightest. 

“Are you sure? You sound kinda depressed to me.”

“Do I?” Horseapples. I don’t want him worrying about me all day, especially during Apollo’s Crystalling. “Hmm. Perhaps a kiss from my fair prince will help my tone and my mood.” She puckered up, and to her relief, Bean moved in and made good on her invitation. 

Their lips stayed locked for several long moments, and Celestia admonished herself to enjoy the embrace. Kissing her beloved Bean had quickly become one of her favorite pastimes, and prior to now, it had never failed to lift her spirits and brighten her day.

But as her tongue probed the inside of his mouth, she found no joy or pleasure in their actions. To her dismay, she could do nothing more than move through the motions while making the appropriate sounds, numb to the enlightening excitement that she usually received from her husband and his amorous moves.

She didn’t know why she felt so empty and distant, but the feeling frightened her. The only other time she’d felt this dark of a depression was when she had thought her Bean had been killed in the Everfree Forest.

She forced out a pleased smile when Bean pulled away, and she faked a small moan of delight. I can beat this. I’m just emotionally drained, that’s all. I’ll feel better once we start the Crystalling ceremony.

“Better?” Bean asked.

“Getting there,” Celestia lied. “But I think some coffee and a hearty breakfast would be most uplifting as well. I will need the calories if we’re going to keep this up, you know.”

Bean blushed slightly, nodded, and kissed her cheek. “I think breakfast is just about ready, conveniently enough. I know Wysteria wanted to eat early so she’d have time to take care of her twins before their Crystalling, and Trixie is always ready to eat, no matter what time of day it is.”

“Naturally.” Trixie cut into the conversation, her clipboard floating behind her as she entered the room. “The Great and Powerful Trixie never knows when she will be called upon to perform, or to display her awesome magical prowess. So Trixie has learned to be ready for anything at any time.”

“Or you just enjoy my cooking. Admit it!” Bean admonished with a sly grin.

“Trixie is…” the dutiful secretary hesitated and made a show of tapping her chin with her hoof. “Let’s say that Trixie is partial to your meals. They are very filling, and the taste is adequate.”       

“Adequate,” Bean scoffed. “You’re starting to get awfully surly, you know that?”

“Trixie has no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve always been surly,” Trixie shot back. “It’s not my fault you’re inattentive.”

“Just for that, I’m not going to put any spices in the next dish I make for you. I’ll teach you to call me out.”

“Ha! The Great and Powerful Trixie is used to eating bland things, thanks to her amazing road trip skills! I know fifteen different ways to cook tree bark. Bring it on.”

“Celly? Are you okay?” Bean’s question startled the Princess, but she hid her shock and offered a diplomatic smile.

“I’m just fine, love.”

Bean gave her a doubtful stare. “You’ve been really quiet this morning. Usually you join right in with the banter.”

“I am well, Bean. Come. We should eat so we’re not late to the Crystalling.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“So, what exactly is a Crystalling, Spike?” The newly minted Ambassador Thorax asked.

“To be honest, I’m not sure.” Spike paused, glanced down a hallway, and then resumed walking with his new changeling friend. “Since it’s been gone for so long, nopony is really sure how everything in the Empire works, and the crystal ponies don’t remember much from before King Sombra. I think Shining Armor and Princess Cadence would know more, so we’ll ask them during breakfast. I hope you’re hungry,” he added with a friendly nudge.

“Actually, I’m still full from all the love I got last night.” Thorax patted his midsection, let out a small burp, and grinned sheepishly. “If I have to eat some pony food as part of being an Ambassador, I will, but I’d rather not.”

“Hey, forget about it,” Spike said with a playful scoff. “If you’re not hungry, nopony will make you eat.”

“Spike? Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure! What’s on your mind?”

“Well, I’m… I’m a bit nervous, I guess. What’s it like, being a non-pony in Equestria? Do ponies treat you nice, or are they mean because you’re different?”

“I’ve always been treated nicely.” Spike stopped and turned to face his friend. “I know what you mean, though. Ponies do give me funny looks sometimes, since I’m a dragon and all. But I’ve found that once they get to know you, ponies are curious and kind. Take Prince Baked Bean, for example. When he first met me, he had, like, a million questions he wanted to ask me!”

“He did?”

“Yeah! He wanted to write a story about dragons, so he wanted to get some authentic information. I wonder how that’s coming along, now that I think of it.” Spike tapped his chin, then shrugged. “I’ll have to ask him. Anyway, it might take some time, but ponies will accept you. Just be nice and be yourself, and if you have questions, just ask! I’ll be right here to help you out.”

“But what if you’re not here? Queen Chrysalis wants me to stay in the Crystal Empire, since she’s in Canterlot already.”

“She does? That’s weird. Usually ambassadors live in Canterlot. I wonder why she thinks it’s better for you to be here.”

Thorax glanced around nervously. “I guess she thinks I can do more good here.”

“Well, if you stay here, then Shining Armor and Princess Cadence will help you out. They both know you weren’t responsible for what happened at their wedding, and look at the friendships they’ve made with the Yaks! In fact, I bet Shining Armor wants to learn more about changelings and changeling customs. He’s a lot like his sister, Twilight Sparkle, in that way.”

“Thorax!” Prince Baked Bean interrupted their conversation. Before they could turn around, he was giving the changeling a friendly hug. “I’m glad I caught up to you. Are you both heading down to breakfast? It’s just this way. If you have some time, I’d love to ask you a few questions, Ambassador.”

Thorax glanced at Spike, who smiled smugly and bobbed his eyebrows. “Uh, sure? What kind of questions?”

“Just some general information stuff. The only thing I know about changelings is what I saw in the Hive, so that means I know next to nothing about you and your kind. Since I’m your friend now, I want to know everything about your culture and traditions.”

Thorax let out a large belch, then held his gut with a moan. “Oof. Having friends is going to take some getting used to. I’ve never been so full in my whole life!”

“Did I just give you some love?” Bean asked. “I didn’t think I was.”

“There’s all different types of love, Your Highness. Romantic love is the most filling and tastes the best, but we changelings enjoy any kind of love, including the love that’s built into friendships.”

“Hey, I’m too short for that ‘Highness’ stuff,” said Bean with a grin. “You can just call me Bean. All my friends do.”

“Oh, I couldn’t do that,” Thorax said, with a small wince when he thought of how his dreadfully beautiful Queen would react if he ever forgot to show the proper deference. “I’d feel a lot better about calling you Prince Bean, Your Highness.”

“If you must, but feel free to stop whenever you like. I'd even settle for 'Your Shortness.' Just this way.”

“Uh, Bean?” Spike jerked a thumb to the hallway behind them. “Dining hall is that way.”

“Just when I thought I had this place figured out,” Bean muttered. “Whatever you do, Thorax, do not ask me for directions.”

Thorax laughed at Bean’s joke, but then his eyes went wide in horror. “Oo! I’m sorry!”

“Why? That was a joke, and I’m glad you laughed at it.”

“Really? Wow. I have so much to learn about friends and friendship!”

“Hey, between Spike and myself, you’ll be an expert in no time,” Bean offered with a playful nudge. “Isn’t that right, Spike?”

“You bet!” said Spike. “I’d also expect Twilight to get involved, too. The idea of befriending a changeling will drive her crazy.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Are you sure you’ve got them?” Wysteria asked for what was probably the hundredth time. “Really, I can hold on to the twins.”

“Will you get out of here?” Sergeant Quillpoint playfully shot back. “I’ve got them just fine, and even if I didn’t, your Mother will swipe them away, beat me to a pulp, and take care of them herself.”

“Mama can be a bit protective at times.” Wysteria leaned over and kissed her special somepony, then moved to her precious daughters that he held in each foreleg. “I’ll be right back.”

“See you in a minute. I’ll start getting them ready for the Crystalling while you’re gone.”

Wysteria couldn’t help but kiss all three again, but then she forced herself out of the guest room. The secretary in her was demanding that she confirm all of the details for the upcoming Crystallings, and she would not be satisfied until she had a copy (signed, notarized, and delivered in triplicate) of all the paperwork she’d generated to ensure a smooth event. It was crucial that Prince Apollo’s ceremony go off without a hitch, and she would be immensely grateful if nothing happened during the ceremony for her twins, as well. This event would set Lilac and Elegant Flourish off on the path to greatness, and she was determined to make sure her daughters received only the best.

That, and she’d never hear the end of it from Mama or Raven if something happened. 

With that unpleasant thought, Wysteria adjusted her collar and briskly trotted towards the dining hall. If Miss Lulamoon had done her job properly, it would only take a few minutes to verify everything, and Wysteria was confident that she had completed it satisfactorily.

It was a bit strange that the traveling magician had settled into her position as Prince Bean’s personal secretary so quickly, but Wysteria wouldn’t trade Trixie for anything in the world. Her bravado and her stubbornness had a way of dislodging even the most dug-in of nobles. Also, she had to admit to herself that she had gotten a few good ideas from her employee on how to ‘motivate’ others. 

Fortunately, it seemed that Beatrix Lubella Lulamoon wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. The employment was stimulating, her audience was both captive and compelled to interact with her, the paychecks were generous, and the palace cooking was far too delicious. Most importantly, Trixie had all the adoration, appreciation and kindness she had ever wanted for the first time in forever. She would occasionally make an off-hoof remark about going on the road next year, but Wysteria knew there was no motivation in those words. 

It would be nearly impossible for any pony to leave such a comfortable and well-paying position. If anything, Trixie might take a few weeks of vacation from time to time so as to properly scratch the traveling itch and shed a few pounds perhaps, but she would always return.

All of her friends were in Canterlot now, after all.

“So, it would seem that the Great and Powerful Trrrrixie’s abilities are needed once more!”

“Good morning to you too, Miss Lulamoon.” Wysteria rolled her eyes while Trixie struck a pose and smiled smugly. “How long have you been standing there, waiting for me?”

“Only for a few minutes. Trixie knew that you’d sleep in, and that you’d rather be with your twins and Quill. I have all of the paperwork for the Crystalling, signed, notarized, and in triplicate, right here for you.”

“Thank you, Trixie.” Wysteria took the papers and quickly sorted them on her clipboard. “Are you heading down to breakfast now?”

“I am. Trixie is famished.”

“You know, you really need to watch what you eat. You’re not a traveling magician anymore, but if you’re going to keep eating like you are, pretty soon you’ll be the great and bountiful Trixie.”

“Trixie has heard that stallions like a mare with a big back porch,” Trixie replied with her cajun accent. “But Trixie, she know how to keep elle-même lean and fit, no? Trixie live in Neigh Orleans, after all.”

“True. I don’t suppose they offer a fat-free version of gumbo down there, do they?”

“Only for touristique, the heathens.” said Trixie in her normal snarky tone.

“You know, it’s a bit of a shame that you don’t use your natural accent more. I mean, I understand why you don’t, given what you’ve told me of your past and your family, but it’s really quite charming, in my opinion.”

Trixie bobbed her head from side to side as they rounded the last corner to the dining hall. “Maybe Trixie can use it a bit more here and there. Trixie admits that she would be a bit sad if she totally lost it.”

“Well, It’s a part of who you are. It’d be a bit like if Prince Bean stopped cooking entirely just because his parents tried to force him into being a chef.”

Trixie didn’t reply, but she was clearly thinking the idea over. 

“Anyway, I’m going to get something ordered for breakfast for me and Quill. Do you want me to get something started for you?”

“No, thank you. Trixie needs to watch her girlish figure, or so I’ve been told,” Trixie said, sliding a hoof down her barrel with a sly grin. “Trixie will see you at the Crystalling.”

“Stay out of trouble in the meantime.”

“Was there ever any doubt?”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“So, what should I do during breakfast?” Thorax asked as he and his escorts approached the dining hall doors. “I’ve never shared a meal with royalty. Queen Chrysalis always dines alone.”

“She used to,” Spike said with a scoff. “If this trip is any indication, she’s been eating with Sergeant Pokey all the time now.”

“Eating with or feeding off of?” Bean asked with a deep frown.

“Probably both,” Thorax said. “She could steal more love from him if he’s enjoying his meal.”

“Yeah, but he knows she’s doing it, so she must not be taking too much from him, right?” asked Spike.

“She always did like to leave a little love for later.” 

“I’ll chat with him later about it,” said Bean. “I don’t want him to go through what I did. Just through here, Thorax.”

Bean pushed the door open, and Thorax followed Spike inside. Twilight Sparkle was waiting just to their left, and she moved to face the group before they could get very far.

“Ambassador Thorax! It’s a pleasure to have you here. If you don’t mind, I have a little something I’d like to say to the group before we start eating.”

“Group?” Thorax leaned to glance around Twilight and see the other ponies in the room. “What group?”

He regretted asking the question. Shining Armor and Princess Cadence were standing just a few feet away, and in a rough semi-circle behind them stood all of the most important creatures in Equestria. The Element Bearers, Princess Celestia and her son, Princess Luna, the Yak delegation, and a trio of bored-looking griffons were all patiently waiting, and their combined presence compelled Thorax to retreat slightly.

“Every creature, could I have your attention for just one moment?” Twilight requested, eliciting a groan from Grandpa Gruff. “As the Princess of Friendship, it is my duty to set an example for all of Equestria, but last night, it was Spike and Prince Baked Bean who taught me that a new friend can come from anywhere. I guess all of us have a few things to learn about friendship, even me! If Spike and Prince Bean say that Thorax is their friend,” she turned and offered a hoof to the stunned changeling, “then he’s my friend, too!”

“Thank you!” Thorax said, his gratitude overflowing as he took the Princess’ hoof and wiped away a tear.

“On behalf of the Crystal Empire,” Princess Cadence said, stepping forward, “I would like to extend my hoof in friendship as well, and I’m sure all of my subjects are eager to do the same.”

The guard detail in the room let out a cheer, and Thorax approached the Princess of Love with a deep smile. “I don’t know what to say! This is all so… so overwhelming!”

“Welcome to the Crystal Empire, Thorax,” Shining Armor offered. “We’re all looking forward to getting to know you. If you have some time, maybe we could start now?”

“That would be amazing! I want to know all about friendship, and maybe one day I can bring that knowledge back to Lovey Dovey Smoochy Land! If my kind learned how to get love from one another, maybe they wouldn’t have to steal it from others!”

“Can we eat yet?” the elderly griffon interrupted. “This is all wonderful and all, but I’m not getting any younger over here!”

“Gruff, shut up!” the other two griffons admonished.

“Yes, Grandpa Gruff,” Shining Armor said with a slight eye roll. “We can eat now. Thorax, why don’t you come sit up here, between Spike and Prince Bean?”

Thorax tried to express his gratitude once again, but it was drowned out in the commotion of every creature moving to and being seated at the long table. Princess Cadence sat at the head, with Shining to her right and the Element Bearers next to him, and he found himself one dragon away from her, with Baked Bean, The Two Sisters, and Prince Apollo next to him. 

“Bring on the grub!” Gruff barked, banging his silverware on the table. 

On cue, a set of doors burst open, and an eclectic group of ponies flowed into the room, each depositing a large plate of food in front of the guests in a smooth, fluid motion.

“Mom?! Dad!” Baked Bean laughed as his parents presented him and Celestia with their meal. “Did you guys seriously run the staff off again?”

“We did no such thing,” Garbanzo Bean replied. “It was all Grandma Flagolet’s idea, I swear.”

“They needed the day off!” an elderly mare called out from the kitchen. “Besides, this is good practice for your cousins! None of them have ever cooked for griffons or yaks before!”

“Not-a-Bean’s family make Yak food?” Prince Rutherford asked, with a suspicious sniff of his meal.

“We did,” a blue pony next to him replied. “Me and my wife, Chowder, made sure to only use ingredients from Yakyakistan. I hope you like it.”

Rutherford took another sniff, and for a moment, Thorax wondered if he would see the legendary Yak temper in action. The burly leader then took a small bite, chewed slowly, paused, and erupted.

“YAK LIKE!” The prince slammed his face on the plate, cleared it in one massive bite, and licked his lips when he came back up. “Blue pony make perfect Yak food! Yak want another!” 

Rutherford smashed his plate on the floor as the rest of the Yaks dug in, and their plates were smashed in similar fashion. Thorax gasped at the display, but as the poor Bean cousin scampered off to get more food, Luna chuckled and leaned in.

“In Yakyakistan, the highest compliment a Yak can give to the chef is to smash the plate his or her meal was served on. Mung and Chowder have done well.”

“Eh, they did okay,” Gilda said, but her indifference couldn’t hide the love from Thorax’s sense of smell. “I think I might be able to eat this.”

“That’s as close to a compliment as we’re going to get,” Prince Bean said with a small chuckle. “Dig in, every creature!”





“Wow. I had no idea that real estate was so expensive at the hive,” Shining Armor remarked around a bite of food. 

“Yeah, there’s a lot of demand, but not a lot of supply. But we’re planning a large expansion on the north side, so that should help with the costs.”

“Hey, Shining,” Spike interrupted. “Thorax was asking me earlier what happens at a Crystalling, and why the Empire does it. Could you explain it a little to us?”

“I’ll let Cady answer that one,” he said with a pointed look and a sly grin for his wife. “Unless she needs to have a fifth helping.”

“Hey, I’m eating for two.” She stuck her tongue out briefly, but then turned and grinned. “I actually have to give a lot of credit to Amethyst Maresbury, our resident librarian, for what we know about the Crystalling. She provided us with all the books and information.

“But the Crystalling is as old as the Empire itself.” Cadence settled into her chair, projecting a rough animation of what she was saying in the air with her magic. “You already know that the Crystal Heart needs to be recharged on occasion with love, but back then, the only way to do that was to manually gather the love from the citizens in small crystals, like the ones that will be used for Apollo and Wysteria’s twins. So, whenever a new foal was born, ponies from all over the Empire would willingly give up some of their love in these crystals so the families could then offer that love to the Heart in gratitude for their new child, and to bring health and prosperity. The newborn would then be declared the newest citizen of the Empire, their name recorded on the official population record, and a small gift of bits or land would be bestowed. As time went on and as the Empire grew, the Heart needed more love than what was supplied during Crystallings, so a larger outpouring—The Crystal Fair—was instituted, with Crystallings helping to keep the Heart full in between.”

“Wow,” Thorax and Bean said in unison.

“As the birth rate picks up again, we’ll probably need to have just one large Crystalling once a month,” Cadence went on. “Shining and I are still working on that, with input from our subjects. It’s an important tradition we want to carry on, but there are some logistical concerns when you have hundreds of newborns in a month.”

“But why is keeping the Crystal Heart full so important?” Thorax asked. “The Empire was gone for a thousand years, and everything kept going anyway, right?”

“Aunt Celly? This is a question you could answer best.”

Celestia nodded and passed Apollo to Luna. “The Crystal Heart—and the Empire—provide love and harmony not only to the rest of Equestria, but to the whole world. When Sombra blighted this far kingdom and took it from us, the love that was shared between all creatures diminished and eventually faded away, leaving us divided and opposed to one another. Diplomatic overtures failed without this love, and that is why all of the various tribes—Ponies, Yaks, Griffons, and so on—have lived apart and alone. With the return of the Empire and the love that it holds, well,” she motioned to the Yaks and the Griffons, “you see what the results are. As the love continues to disperse and permeate, we will see other creatures, like the Abyssians, the Hippogriffs, and many others slowly reach out again to bring harmony back to their lands. It will take time, and there will be some difficulties, but it will happen nonetheless.”  

“Provided we continue to build upon the foundation that is being laid here,” Luna added. “I know all too well what happens to individuals when a creature’s capacity for love is destroyed, so it is imperative that we not let these overtures of peace come to nothingness. It will require compromise, adaptation, and understanding, but it can be done.”

“Ha!” Rutherford bellowed. “Yaks are best at making friends! Yaks will supply ponies with all love needed for Crystal Heart! Yaks, Ponies, Griffons and Changelings will be best of friends for many moons to come!”

“I suppose we don’t have much to lose, either way,” Gruff grumped. 

“Except for the chance to finally make Griffonstone a better place,” Gilda shot back. “We can’t keep doing what we’ve always done. The aerie is falling apart under our claws, and all we can do is squabble at each other.”

“Oh-ho, you think you’ve got all the answers, do you?” Gruff glared at Gilda, who returned it in equal measure. “Maybe I should just put you in charge!”

“She couldn’t be any worse than you, you old fruitcake,” Gallus added. “She’s the only one who’s been able to keep her business going for more than a month.”

Gruff wanted to retort, but his efforts died before they could start. “Oh, fine. I guess we griffons can try to work with all of you.”

“Changelings are going to be a bit more… difficult,” Thorax added. “A lot of it will depend on Her Majesty, Queen Chrysalis.”

“Speaking of which, where is she?” Gilda asked. “I can’t believe she’d want to be left out of something like this.”





Queen Chrysalis, the Mighty and Fearsome Queen of All Changelings and Don’t You Forget It, groaned in pleased agony as she tried and failed to roll from her right side to her left. She wasn’t entirely sure of what time it was, or even where she was, but at least the bed beneath her was soft and supportive. 

If she ever managed to remember what had happened last night, she was going to take notes. There were a few fleeting images, but even recalling them gave her a serious case of heartburn that threatened to turn into nausea. She felt bloated, hungover, and filled with a satisfaction that she never wanted to let go of. All she could recall clearly was Hokey Pokey, the aforementioned bed, and more love than she knew what to do with. What had the two of them done?

“Ah, you’re awake,” a tender and absolutely perfect voice slid into her brain, and the resulting tingles made her dry heave, then throw a forehoof haphazardly on her swollen midsection. 

“Don’t do that,” she moaned weakly, and unconvincingly. “I feel like I’m going to pop.”

“And what if I disobey you?” Hokey Pokey appeared in her vision, a broad, mischievous smile on his face. “What if I give you just a little bit more…”

“No, don’t you darURRP!” Her belch rattled the windows, shook the chandelier above them, and filled her with a delightful warmth that trickled out of her mouth as pink bubbles. “Ugh. So good.”

“Interesting. If this is what happens to you after a simple cuddle session, I’d love to see what happens if you get something more.”

“I’d die happy, that’s what.” She groaned, tried to roll over again, then gave up as the love in her gut sloshed and threw off her balance. “And then I’d sic my minions on you to steal all of this.”

“They could try, but for now, you should really get up. Breakfast is almost over, and the Crystalling will be starting soon.”

“Don’t even mention that,” Chrysalis muttered, her eyes fluttering shut as Pokey started to softly rub her belly. “This wretched Empire can keep it, for all I care.”

“What? You’re not foaming at the mouth with the prospect of more love? Who are you, and what have you done with Queen Chrysalis?”

“I will smite you for that.” She took a halfhearted swing that wasn’t anywhere close to hitting him. “Mmpfh. Get over here.”

“No can do. You wanna smite me, you’ll have to catch me.”

“Too much effort. Gimme twenty minutes, then I’ll get up. I gotta figure out how I’m going to function today.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Your Highnesses? We’re ready to begin the Crystalling.”

Celestia nodded to Trixie and retrieved Apollo from his carrier, giving his cheek a small kiss. As wonderful and glorious as this moment was going to be, the Princess of the Morn was beyond ready to be done and on her way back to Canterlot. 

She forced out a diplomatic grin as her beloved Bean came up on her right side, and she gave him a wink when he glanced up. Once they did get home, she was going to have to make this up to him, in some way. He had been more than patient with her unwelcome emotional state, and such kindness deserved to be rewarded.

“Do your parents have Apollo’s crystal?” she asked. Bean nodded. “Good. Miss Trixie, we are ready to begin.”

A proud fanfare soared to the skies above, and the Royal Couple proudly strode out on the balcony, with Apollo held high in Celestia’s magic. Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor stood just to their right, the Crystal Heart directly behind them, and Baked Bean’s parents stood with Luna and Twilight Sparkle to their left. The entire population of the Crystal Empire stood before them, all waiting in eager anticipation for the ceremony to commence.

“Citizens of the Crystal Empire!” Princess Cadence called out in the Royal Canterlot Voice. “May I present to you the newest citizen of our fair lands: Prince Apollo Cocoa Bean!”

The crowd erupted into cheers and applause. Baked Bean and Celestia each gave Apollo a kiss on his cheeks. The newborn prince giggled with glee as he began to levitate with the help of his mother’s magic, and this, in turn, brought the love of the Empire to its zenith.

“Oh, he’s so cute!” Celestia heard a pony near the front exclaim. “It’s just so moving!”

Garbanzo and Lima then stepped forward, each holding one side of the velvet-lined case that held Apollo’s unique crystal. Luna took it from them with a nod, a grin, and a wink, and in one smooth motion, she levitated the crystal down, and touched it to the ground in front of the crowd.

The Empire, in turn, bowed before their leiges and offered all of the love that they held within them. The broad streets illuminated as that love spread from them outward, and when all of their love had been gifted, Apollo’s crystal absorbed the generous offering until it was glowing brightly.

Luna brought the crystal up to the Crystal Heart and brought it to its surface. In an instant, the love was transferred, and the Heart spun, faster and faster, until it was just a fantastic blur.

The Heart launched a pulse of magic, and Celestia felt the familiar transformation to her crystalline self as it swept over her. She took a quick glance down to admire her husband’s new sheen, and carefully, she caught Apollo with a hoof as he descended back to them.

It was a time of great rejoicing, as evidenced by the wild cheering of the crowd and the tears in every creature’s eyes. Though she couldn’t quite make it out, she was fairly sure that she could hear remarks about this being the best crystalling ever.

But to her growing horror, the Great Ruler of Equestria felt… 

Nothing.

There was no jubilation in her soul, no peace in her heart. All she could feel was a numbing emptiness that stubbornly refused to yield to the merriment that was crashing around her like a tsunami.

But Celestia was the preeminent expert in faking happiness, and she forced her smile wider as she waved to the crowd. She couldn't let her little ponies think that she was anything less than thrilled over her son’s Crystalling, and they would not realize anything was amiss.

They never had before.

But as she turned her back to the crowd and moved inside, her beloved Bean bumped her and gave her the most concerned look she’d ever seen on his handsome face.

He didn’t ask the question. He didn’t need to.

There was a small part of her that was annoyed that she could no longer hide her emotions from him, but that was forgotten as a twinge of relief sprung out of her chest. She wanted, no, needed somepony to see past her perfect princess exterior down to the true Celestia, and with his observation, Celly felt a small breath of calm and comfort.

Without a word, Bean trotted ahead, snagged the first Royal Guard he could find, and whispered urgently in his ear.


 * *  ✹ * * 


“This is unexpected.” Chrysalis twisted around as she took in her new crystalline appearance in the full-length mirror. “But not entirely unwelcome. This isn’t going to be a permanent thing, is it?”

“No, it’ll wear off in a few hours,” Pokey replied. “Unless you stay here. Then it’ll last for a few weeks.”

“Hmm. Not sure I like the new mane style. It’s far too similar to Lovebutt’s locks.”

Pokey scoffed. “I would think you’d be used to her style. I like it, personally.”

“You do?” She gave him a curious glance, then went back to her reflection as she primped the thick, wavy, and slightly sparkling mane that cascaded gently down her neck. 

“Yeah. I’ve always had a thing for long-haired mares. Now, if we just add a little something…” He took her pince-nez glasses and placed them gently on the end of her snout. “There. Now you really do look like a Queen.”

“I do?” she whispered softly, her eyes unable to move from her reflection. “Really?”

“Really really.” Pokey kissed her cheek, and her hoof moved up to hold it in place. “Guess it’s a good thing you didn’t go down to the Crystalling, eh? You wouldn’t be able to admire yourself.”

“I suppose not.” She somehow broke her gaze and glanced at Pokey again. “But what if I had? Would the ponies there say I look like a Queen, too?”

“Probably.” He shrugged. “Or they’d say something similar. At the very least, they’d probably make comparisons between you and the Princesses.”

Chrysalis looked back at her wings, still stained in a rainbow of colors from Studly’s little prank during her last molt. But now, in this crystalline form, they almost looked like a stained-glass window. A small flutter scattered colorful beams of light all across the room, and the corners of her mouth twitched upwards. 

This was a look she could get used to.

“You know what?” She tossed her exquisite mane and stuck her nose in the air. “I suddenly feel like socializing with the peasantry. Lead the way, Pokey-poo.”

Hokey Pokey chuckled. “I figured you would. If we hurry, you can make it to the Crystalling for Miss Wysteria’s twins. Right this way.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“That was so amazing!” Thorax hovered in the air, his innards stuffed so full of love that he thought he could explode. “The way everypony shared their love, and how the crystals sucked it up, and… and…”

“Easy there, Ambassador,” Bean said with a slight chuckle. “The ceremonies were amazing, but I’d hate for you to hurt yourself, somehow.”

“So, now what?” Thorax asked, as he and his new friends entered the palace once more. “Is there something else that happens?”

“No, that’s pretty much it. Celestia and I will keep Apollo’s crystal as a momento, Wysteria and Quill will do the same. Really, all that’s left to do now is head home.”

“Oh.” Thorax landed, his excitement tempered. “Do we have to go already? I mean, I just gained a whole bunch of new friends, and now we have to separate again?”

“Not quite. Since Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadence are traveling to Canterlot, why don’t you come along? If you’re going to be the ambassador for Lovey Dovey Smoochy Land, there’s some paperwork to fill out, and it’d be good for you to visit the capitol.”

“What about Queen Chrysalis? She wanted me to stay here.”

“I guess you could stay here, but I think you’ll be a bit bored. I’d love to stay here longer so we could spend more time together, but there’s a bit of an emergency that’s come up, so I have to get back to Canterlot.”

“Emergency?”

“I’m afraid so.” Bean drew in a deep breath. “Princess Celestia is already heading back on an air carriage, in fact.”

“Is it something bad?”

“Hopefully not. We’ll know more once we get back.”

Thorax nodded thoughtfully. Chrysalis had ordered him to stay put, but there was precious little he could do without being able to talk to Prince Armor and Princess Cadence. The Empire was bound to be low on love reserves after the multiple crystallings, and friend or not, there was no way the Crystal Corps was going to let him anywhere near the Crystal Heart. 

But above all else, he wanted to spend time with his new friends. 

With that cheerful thought, Thorax grinned. “You know what? I’ll come! Queen Chrysalis will probably be too busy to notice anyway.”

Bean gave Thorax a hearty backslap. “Wonderful! We’ll have lots of time to talk on the train ride back, and once we get there, I’ll make my special Eggplant Lasagna for you. It’s Princess Luna’s favorite meal; she can’t get enough of it.

“Then, we can stay up all night and talk s’mores. I’ll answer all the questions you have, and I can start showing you how to make friends. Honestly, it won’t take much. You’ve got a good start on it already.”

“Really? Oh, wow!” Thorax took to the air again. “So, when do we go? I don’t have any luggage, so you don’t need to worry about me.”

“Let me go check with Trixie and make sure everyone else is ready. We should be on the train back within the hour.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“And then what?” Horsenpfeffer asked, leaning back slightly in her chair.

Celestia sighed deeply. “I managed to maintain the facade during the Crystalling for Elegant Flourish and Lilac. It was a beautiful ceremony as well, but my emotional state remained the same. Bean ordered a carriage for me to take home, and I returned while he bids farewell with Apollo to the visiting diplomats. Ambassador Thorax and Horwitz should return with Bean, Shining Armor, and Cadence. I know my dear husband is concerned, but what was I supposed to tell him? I don’t…” Celestia paused, then shuddered. “I’m scared, Doctor. I’ve never felt like this before, not even when Luna became Nightmare Moon. What is wrong with me? Why do I feel no love for my son?”

“Celestia, please look me in the eye.” Horsenpfeffer did not ask, and Celestia could not refuse. “I want you to listen to me very carefully. You have a medical condition called Postpartum Depression. It is, sadly, one of the more common side effects of childbirth, but it is treatable. You are not broken, you are not defective, and you are not a bad mother. The emotions you feel right now can be caused by a number of things, but none of them are your fault, so don’t blame yourself. Despite what you may feel, or what your brain may tell you, I want you to remind yourself of this, again and again: you are a good mother, a good wife, and the Princess this Kingdom needs. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

“Now, here’s what we’re going to do. I want to draw some blood and send it off to the lab. These emotions could be a hormonal imbalance: you had a surge of them while you were pregnant, and now they’ve been cut off and your body is adjusting to the lower levels. If this is the case, there are some medications I can perscribe that will help.

“In the meantime, I’m going to refer you to a therapist.” Horsenpfeffer wrote something down on a pad of paper. “Hormonal imbalance or not, therapy is the best treatment for your condition right now. I expect you to be in her office within forty-eight hours, and I will coordinate with her during your sessions to ensure you’re getting the maximum benefit.”

“Who is it?” 

“You may have heard of her, but in a different way.” Horsenpfeffer grinned, ripped the page from her pad, and gave it to Celestia. “She spends most of her time teaching now.”

Celestia glanced at the name, then back to her physician. “Doctor Cheerilee?”

“One of the finest therapists I know, but I may be a bit biased, since we were roommates in med school. Remember, I want you in for a clinical visit within two days. If you don’t, I will drag her up here, hunt you down, and force you to talk to her. Don’t make me do that.”

“I will have Wysteria make the appointment immediately.”

“Good. Now, let’s get that blood drawn, but remember: it may take time and effort, but you can beat this.” 


 * *  ✹ * * 

> 8. - Therapy
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Your Highness? Doctor Cheerilee has arrived.”

Celestia drew in a deep breath, then forced out a smile. “Thank you, Sergeant Pepper. Show her in.”

The steadfast centurion nodded, pushed the door to the drawing room wide open, and motioned for an unseen pony to come through. One royal eyebrow slid up as Cheerilee entered and bowed to her.

“Good afternoon, Your Highness. I’m so sorry to keep you waiting.”

“Not a problem, Doctor, though I must admit you’ve caught my curiosity.”

Cheerilee laughed lightly. The door swung shut as she glanced over her cheerleader clothing. “Well, this would be why I’m late. Today was the big Applewood Derby race, but there were some ‘complications’ that required a second heat. I boarded your carriage as soon as I could.”

“I see. You look very peppy, if you don’t mind my saying so.” Her eyes lingered on the pom-poms. “Very cheerful.”

“I like to encourage my students as much as possible, as I’m sure you do. They enjoy it when I dress up like this, or do other little spontaneous things.”

“I may steal the concept from you, then.” Celestia motioned to the cushions. “Please, make yourself comfortable, and help yourself to the refreshments.”

“Did your husband provide these?” Cheerilee looked over the massive spread of pastries, pies, cakes, and cookies, all decoratively spread out on the table between them. 

“He did. Bean tends to cook when he’s nervous, and… well, he’s probably only half as nervous as I am, I think. Would you care for some tea?”

“Yes, please. Thank you.” Cheerilee took the offered cup, and sniffed appreciatively. “Deerjeeling. One of my favorites.”

“Help yourself as much as you’d like. Anything we don’t eat will be given to the guards, and Bean’s cooking has already fattened all of them up as it is. Lieutenant Spear Point is threatening to run the whole Corps through basic training again just to get everypony back in shape.” 

The two laughed, and Celestia felt some of her tension leave with the mirth. She had been simultaneously dreading and anticipating this first therapy session, so anything that helped calm her anxiety was most welcome. In her mind, this was yet another battle to be fought and won, and she was never comfortable when she had to go to battle blind.

There was a brief silence while the good doctor added sugar and milk to her tea. A sip and a nod later, she placed the cup and saucer on the table. “Before we begin, Your Highness, I’d like to first say that you have taken a very important—and very brave—first step today. Our mental health is just as important as our physical health, but unfortunately, there’s still that age-old stigma that seeing a therapist means there’s something profoundly wrong or broken about you. Nothing could be further from the truth. 

“Having said that, our sessions are not so much about ‘fixing’ your issues, like how you would fix a broken bone or a leaky faucet, for example. Therapy is designed to give you the tools and support you need to manage and overcome the challenges you are facing and will face in the future. The most important thing to remember is that this is not a one-and-done sort of deal. It will take time and effort, but it will work.”

“I understand,” Celestia said with a slight sigh. “I am willing to listen and use whatever you have to share with me.”

“Good. Do you have any questions for me at this point?”

“I do have one, but I suspect it is one you’ve heard many times before.”

Cheerilee smiled. “Most ponies are surprised when they find out I’m a doctor, since I don’t make a fuss about using the title. I received my doctorate after I got my teaching degree, so I got used to being just ‘Miss Cheerilee’ and saw no reason to change.”

“Why did you decide to study mental health?”

“Ponyville.” Cheerilee laughed a little to herself. “The idea came to me after I’d been teaching for a few years. I could see the signs of internal struggles in my students, but I never knew how to help them, and I felt awful about it. So, at the end of one school year, I went back to college and began my doctorate. I’d take night classes during the school year, and over summer breaks, I’d take as many classes as I could at Canterlot University. I met Horsenpfeffer during my first year, and we quickly became good friends. In fact, she and I are going to meet up for dinner later today.”

“I see. Well, I suppose we should get started, then. I’d hate to keep good friends apart.”

“I appreciate that, but please don’t worry about the time. We can take as long as you need. There is no rush. I’m here to help you, first and foremost.”

“I suspect Doctor Horsenpfeffer would say the same thing.” 

“Do you mind if I take notes during our sessions? It helps me to keep track of what we’ve talked about and how you’re progressing.”

“That will be fine.”

“Thank you. Let’s start with your emotions. When did you first notice this depression?”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Where are you dragging me off to?”

Chrysalis let out an annoyed huff. “Wherever your international relations office is, Pokey. Apparently, there’s some forms I have to fill out to make Thorax my official ambassador. You ponies and your paperwork, I swear.”

“What can I say? We love accountability,” Hokey Pokey replied. 

“You also love complicating matters to unreasonable degrees. Why does Sunbutt’s palace have so many hallways? Does she like aimlessly walking around in circles?”

“It’s defensible. Shouldn’t you know where everything is from when you were impersonating Princess Cadence? Or did you forget already?”

“I didn’t have to bother with those details,” she said as they rounded a corner. “Because, like now, I had an escort to take me wherever I needed. Studly hardly ever left my side. Isn’t he around here, somewhere? I wouldn’t mind getting a little lick off of him. For old time’s sake.”

“Yeah, and then his wife will stomp you flatter than a pancake.”

“I reiterate that you ponies really need to learn how to forgive and forget.” Chrysalis stuck her nose in the air and sniffed haughtily. 

“Sure. Just as soon as you forget to whip up another scheme to invade Equestria. Left turn.”

“We should get lunch after this.” Chrysalis rubbed her stomach and smacked her lips. “I’m starving. A nice M.L.T. sounds good, but only if the mutton is nice and lean, and the love is ripe. They’re so perky. I love that.”

“You’ll have to eat without me. I’m still on duty.”

“Then why are you walking with me?” Chrysalis purred.

“Walking?!” Pokey nodded to his motionless hooves, which were scraping against the floor while Chrysalis pulled him along by the tail with her magic. “You’re press-ganging me into this!”  

“Don’t bother me with details, Pokey-poo. Right or left?”

“Right,” he grumbled. “The sooner we get there, the sooner I get out of this. I’m gonna catch it from the Lieutenant for this one.”

“I’ll write you an excuse note, don’t worry. ‘Dear Mister Lieutenant Whoever’s-in-Charge, if you do anything to punish my Pokey-wokey, I will hunt you down and feed you to a pukwudgie. Sincerely, Queen Chrysalis.’ Sound good?” 

“No, but I know you’ll do it anyway.”

“Sergeant Pokey? Are you all right?”

Chrysalis gasped, released Pokey, and whirled to the unexpected visitor with a manic grin. “Why, if it isn’t my dear little Prince Blueblood! I thought you’d gone back to Yakyakistan. How are you, my delightful little prawn?” She cooed and pinched his cheeks between her hooves.

“You two know each other?” Pokey asked.

“Not exactly. Snookums and I have met, but he doesn’t remember any of it.”

Pokey started to reply, but he stopped when he saw a flash of green sweep across Blueblood’s vacant and distant stare. “What did you do to him?”

“I had to figure out who That Bean’s guards were somehow,” she shot back, leaning against the inert noble while inspecting a forehoof. “Snookums was the perfect target: close enough to Celestia to know about you and the other guards that normally guard Mister Nose, but distant enough not to arouse suspicion. It helps that this dolt is a hopeless romantic, doesn’t it?” 

Blueblood dumbly nodded and spoke in a cold, hollow voice. “Of course, my Queen.”

“A couple of sly winks, a few kisses, and he was putty in my hooves,” Chrysalis went on smugly. “A bit sad, really. I got more resistance from Studly, and he thought I was his fiancee! This sap is so desperate for a mare to love that he throws himself at any tail that’s willing to give him the time of day. He’s going to get himself in a lot of trouble one day.”

“Release him. Now.” Pokey’s tone was sharp and unyielding.

“Oh, do I have to?” Chrysalis whined and pouted. “He was quite useful to my plans; with a little encouragement, he could be again. Imagine all the angst he could create now that he works with both nobles and yaks!”

“Now.” 

“But I don’t wanna!” She stomped a hoof, like a petulant foal who was being told to clean up her toys. “I mean, sure, I haven’t played with him for a while now, but c’mon! He’s been a pain in your flank, I know he has. You let me keep him like this, and I’ll make it so he follows your every command, too! Imagine all the trouble you could avoid by having Blueblood there to throw his connections and influence around! It’s a win-win!”

For a brief moment, Hokey Pokey was actually tempted by Chrysalis’ offer. Blueblood had been a pest in the past, and it would make things easier if he could sic the noble on his bourgeois friends, instead of having to constantly rely on his own status as a Royal Guard. 

But before the Queen could realize his inner contemplation, Pokey forced himself to shake his head. “Hard pass. Nopony deserves to be like this, no matter how obnoxious they are. Get your corrupting magic out of his head and leave him alone.”

“Buzzkill. You owe me for this, Pokey-poo.” Chrysalis opened her mouth and sucked out the magic through Blueblood’s left ear.

“Huh? What?” Blueblood swooned for a moment, then put a hoof to his head. “Ow. What just happened?”

“Queen Chrysalis had you under her control, sir,” Pokey stated matter-of-factly. “But you’re free now.”

“Bleh!” Chrysalis spat. “It tastes like earwax.”

“She did? When did she do this?! Arrest her, immediately!”

“Oo, yes!” Chrysalis held out her forehooves. “I’m all yours, my sweet babboo. I deserve a good spanking for all of my naughty naughtiness. I suggest you take me somewhere private, so we won’t be disturbed while you administer justice.”

“Nice try, Bug. I’m not doing anything of the sort.” Pokey turned to Blueblood and ignored the Queen’s high-pitched whine of disappointment. “This happened over a year ago, sir. She was using you to find out who Prince Bean’s guard detail was. Once she foalnapped the Prince, she had no further use for you.”

“Oh! Oh.” Blueblood sounded dejected, but he almost kept up his stoic facade. “Well, then, I’ll leave the matter in your capable hooves. I think I’ll head over to the infirmary and make sure there’s no lingering changeling magic. And maybe a bottle of aspirin.”

“Would you like an escort, Sir? I can summon another guard to assist you.”

“No, I’ll be fine. Carry on.” 

Pokey watched Blueblood’s retreat for a moment, then turned to glare at the totally innocent-looking Chrysalis. “You’re going to have to pay for that one, one way or another.”

Chrysalis scoffed. “Oh, please. He’s fine. Now! Which way to the international affairs office, again?” 

“One of these days, Chrysalis,” he muttered as she dragged him down the hall once more. “Bang! Zoom! Straight to the moon!”


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Celly? Is that you?”

“It is.” Celestia gently closed her chamber door, her mind a whirl of thoughts and emotions. She offered a small smile when her beloved Baked Bean gave her a kiss, but then one eyebrow slid up in surprise. “What is all this?”

“Oh, just a little something I whipped up.” Bean motioned to the small table, and Celestia moved with him while looking over the romantic, candlelit dinner that he had created. “I thought you might like a nice meal, given everything that’s been happening lately.”

“This is so sweet,” Celestia praised. “I like the rose petals around the place settings. It’s a nice touch. Is that candle scented?”

“Sunflower flavor,” he confirmed. “I made all of your favorite things, even a rhubarb pie for dessert. I hope you like it.”

“You spoil me so badly. Thank you.”

“Please, make yourself comfortable. I picked out the softest pillows for you.” Bean nudged a few as Celestia positioned herself in front of the table before sliding under her right wing. “Is everything okay? Do I need to get you something else?”

“You have done more than enough, my love.”

“So, may I ask how therapy went?” he asked, popping the cork off a bottle of chilled apple cider.

“It was… well, not quite what I expected, but surprisingly comforting. Doctor Cheerilee mostly offered reassurances about therapy, and she wants me to track how depressed I feel during the day. Our next session will be on Tuesday.”

“Do I need to cancel tea with Discord and Fluttershy?”

“Mm, no. I scheduled the session for after tea, so there shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Okay, but if we need to change it, I’m sure they’d understand.”

“Where’s Apollo?”

“Mama Nana is keeping an eye on him in the nursery for now.”

Celestia nodded, and her grin grew slightly. “You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?”

“I wanted tonight to be relaxing for you.” He paused, passed a fluted glass to her, and his concerned eyes met hers. “I don’t think I could imagine what you’re feeling or thinking right now. All I know is that you’re hurting. I don’t want you to hurt.” His eyes drifted down, and he swallowed. “So, whatever you need me to do, I’ll gladly do it. I want you to have all the love and support you need, so you can get back to where you want to be. If you need to be sad for a time, or even just want to be sad, then that’s fine. We’ll ride this thing out together.”

The Eternal Mare of the Morn pulled her husband in and gave him a tear-stained kiss. “Thank you, Bean. I am so grateful that I don’t need to face this foe by myself. It may take some time, but we will conquer this together. I only ask one thing of you.”

“Anything.”

“I know you will fight with me and for me, but please be willing to fight against me, as well. I fear it will not be easy for me to break the thousand-year old habit of enduring my battles alone, as evidenced during Tirek’s attack. Don’t let me push you away, like I have done in the past. Stay by my side, no matter what.”

“I will.” Suddenly, a small grin emerged on his handsome face. “But no banishing me to the moon if I get all pushy or burn the toast. Deal?”

And for the first time in days, Celestia felt a matching smile form with a touch of comfort and joy. “Deal.” 


 * *  ✹ * * 


Princess Luna drew in a deep breath, her gaze slowly drifting over the peaceful scene that now lay before her. Her crescent moon rested comfortably above the eastern horizon, and the city of Canterlot basked in its soft, pleasant glow. Pinpricks of yellow danced in the windows and doorways of homes and businesses alike, and despite the distance, the Nighttime diarch could hear the pleasant, comforting tones of cheerful conversation amongst her little ponies. 

A contented smile came as she looked beyond the bounds of the capitol, and towards a small hamlet that lay at the edge of a dark green forest. The citizens of Ponyville would be tucked away in their own beds at this late hour, their slumber soon to take them to fantastical places and extraordinary adventures that could only be appreciated from within a pleasant dream. 

It was still astonishing how much had changed during her banishment. Even now, she still half-expected ponies to flee from her night, terrified of the dark and the unknown dangers that lurked on the edge of their perception. Celestia had obliterated every last trace of such feelings, and no matter where Luna went, she always found ponies enjoying—or even cherishing—all that the evening offered to them. 

A frown came when her eyes moved past the home of her dear granddaughter and to the Everfree Forest, and the next breath she drew was long and frustrated. Despite the time that had passed since her redemption and return, there was still one large, unresolved issue from her betrayal, and she did not wish to face it. 

She dreaded to think of what the thestrals—her former Royal Guard—would think of her now, what they would say about her treachery and deceit. Ever loyal to her and her every command, they had borne the full consequence of her fall, their devotion being repaid with accusations and persecution. They existed now along the edges of society, driven from their homes and…

Luna snorted. She glared at her hooves while fighting back the emotional surge. She had forgiven herself for her own actions, but how could she even begin to beg for forgiveness from them? How could she ever justify her jealousy and anger? 

The obvious answer, of course, was that she could not. She could not face their condemnation, however warranted it may be. 

If only Harmony hadn’t conspired against her again. It had been easy to ignore the thestral issue upon her return, since an apology would be seen as weakness among the nobility that infested her kingdom, both in the past and in the present day. That was one thing that had not changed during her lengthy absence. 

But then Celestia had been diagnosed with baby blues, or Postpartum Depression, as it was known nowadays. Luna had expected Celly to simply grin and bear it, forcing her way through the miasma just like she’d always done, but her sister had unexpectedly reached out to a physician to help her tend to these emotions, caring not a whit of what others would think of it.

Luna had warned that the snobbery would see an opportunity, that there would be whispers debating the fitness of their Princess’ continued rule and challenges to her authority. They would push and test and tug and strip away whatever little power they could.

Celestia had challenged them to ‘bring it on,’ to use the current vernacular, and had politely but flatly refused to hide the issue. If anything, Celestia hoped that this would inspire others to reach out for assistance that they might normally not seek.

Come what may, Celestia was going to do what was best for herself and her family.

And because she was willing to risk showing weakness to her little ponies, it meant that Luna should be willing to as well. Celestia would never say that out loud, but the implication was there like the pull of the full moon on the tides of the ocean. A thousand years ago, such an example would have infuriated Luna to no end.

To be fair, it still did, to a much lesser degree. 

“Princess?” Corporal Larkspur’s voice interrupted her thoughts, and she repressed her grin as he approached her. “Forgive my intrusion, Your Highness, but you wanted to see me?”

“Yes. Approach, Corporal.” Luna did not glance back, and she kept her face impassive as she listened to his hoof falls. His salute was so crisp that she could hear it snap. “Corporal Larkspur, Your Princess is in need of your services.”

Luna glanced at the steadfast guard and found him still saluting, unwavering in the slightest. He reminds me of Star Struck. So dedicated, so firm.

“Name your request, Princess. I am at your disposal.” He blinked, gulped, and his tail clamped down over his rear. “Within established regulations, of course.”

So innocent in some ways.

She focused on the task instead and asked, “What do you make of this?”

Larkspur looked understandably confused when Luna levitated a scroll over to him. He unfurled the short missive, glanced at the Princess, and with her nod, began to read. 



Dear Princess Luna, 

I guess this is my first friendship letter to you. I don’t really have anything to write about yet, since l’ve only had a couple of friendship lessons from Princess Twilight Sparkle, but she’s insisting that I write. Something about it being rude to keep you waiting. 

As of now, the only thing I can share with you is how guilty I still feel. The Princess and her friends tell me that they’ve forgiven me, but I’m having a hard time believing that. How can they just ignore and dismiss all the bad things I did? I mean, I stole their cutie marks! And yet they’re treating me like I’ve always been part of their little group. 

Do you have any advice about this? I don’t mean to be rude, but Princess Celestia forgave you after you became Nightmare Moon the ‘Incident,’ so I think you know how this feels. Is there a spell that numbs your guilty feelings, maybe? Anything you could share with me would be appreciated. 

Sincerely
With Deep Regard
How are you supposed to end a letter to Princess Luna ack Spike don’t write that down

Awaiting Your Reply,
Starlight Glimmer



Larkspur flipped the scroll over, then back again. “I’m not quite sure what you’re looking for, Your Highness. This seems like a rather personal and private letter.”

“What advice would you share with Starlight Glimmer?” Luna asked, her gaze on her moon.

“Um… well, Your Highness, I’d tell her to give it time, and to trust Princess Twilight Sparkle, since she is the Princess of Friendship. Apologizing to the others for what she did would be helpful too.”

“How so?”

“It’s a sign of maturity, Your Highness. And humility. No pony likes to admit their mistakes and faults. It’s demeaning and uncomfortable. But if you do, it shows you’re more concerned about others, and that you care for them.” Larkspur hesitated, then let out a small sigh. “That probably doesn’t make any sense, but when you own up to your mistakes, it liberates you. You’re not held down by the past. But I’m sure you know more about this than I do, given the whole Nightmare Moon thing. Ma’am.”

“A reasonable assumption, but remember that I was the recipient of the apologies, not the giver. My sister refused to lay any blame on me for what had happened. My fall was entirely her fault, in her eyes.”

“What? Well, that…” He trailed off, obviously surprised with this revelation. “Weird. I just assumed you would have…”

“It is of little consequence. Your words are the truth, and I shall heed them.” Luna turned and faced him directly. “Corporal, in one week’s time, I will undertake a journey to the edge of Equestria, along Our mutual border with the Dragon’s territory. You are to assemble a retinue to accompany me and provide for my safety. Not too large as to upset the Dragons, and not to small to provide for my safety. I will leave the composition and number up to you.”

There was no doubt in Larkspur’s voice. “I shall assemble the escort immediately, Your Highness. We’ll be ready to depart by this time in one week. I will not fail you.”

Luna nodded and turned her gaze back to the distant horizon. “I know you will not, and thank you. Dismissed.” 


 * *  ✹ * * 

> 9. - Starlight
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✶ * * 


“Trixie is not paid nearly enough to deal with such trivial matters.”

The Great and Powerful Trixie snorted, glanced around Ponyville’s train station, and began the long march to the center of town. When she had accepted the position as Prince Baked Bean’s full-time secretary, she had expected to spend her days comfortably situated in the posh and regal palace, surrounded by the finest that Equestria had to offer. 

But with Princess Celestia’s overbooked schedule and Wysteria’s twins, it fell upon the dutiful secretary to hazard the journey to Ponyville and to confirm that Princess Sparkle had everything ready for Celestia’s visit and dinner that evening. Her saddlebags were laden with all of the documentation that needed to be completed, and Trixie was not looking forward to trudging all over town just to complete an overblown checklist.

“It’s little wonder where Sparkle picked up her obsessive organizational skills,” she grumbled. “This is ridiculous. The Great and Powerful Trixie is an artiste, not a gopher! I should be perfecting my new stage show right now. Sparkle probably has everything ready to go, anyway. She’s such a perfect little perfectionist that there’s no way she’d let anything be wrong, especially since it’s Princess Celestia coming to call.”

“If I didn’t know any better, Ma’am, I’d say you don’t like Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

Trixie paused so she could properly glare at her royal guard escort. “Sparkle and I have a history, Private Lemon Tart, and I’ll leave it at that.”

“Are you jealous that she has more magical power than you, Ma’am?” Tart grinned smugly. “Or are you still sore because she stopped your takeover of Ponyville by using your playbook against you?”

“You heard about that?” Trixie squeaked.

“Everypony has. The Royal Guard Academy is using that encounter as an example of lateral thinking when faced with an overwhelmingly powerful foe, Ma’am. Lieutenant Spear Point wrote the lesson.” Tart lowered her voice slightly. “I’m fairly certain he was not pleased when you were hired.”

“Oh, great. As if being beaten by Sparkle wasn’t embarrassing enough, now I'm a textbook.” Trixie resumed her annoyed march to town. “Besides, Trixie is not the same pony that she was then. I learned my lesson.”

“Just don’t forget it, Ma’am. My orders are to protect the Princesses first and foremost, then Prince Bean, then you.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trixie knows not to challenge any Princess, thank you very much. Anyways, this shouldn’t take very long. As soon as Sparkle sees my checklist, she’ll start to drool over it, and she’ll fill it out for me. Trixie thinks a trip to the Ponyville Day Spa sounds rather nice, and then maybe lunch at Gustav’s restaurant.”

“I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear any of that, Ma’am.”

“You know, you’d be a lot funner if you’d loosen up a little bit. Sergeants Hokey Pokey and Clover Leaf joke around way more than you do.”

“Respectfully, Ma’am, the amount of jokes a royal guard is allowed is directly proportional to rank, as is the appropriate reaction. If a sergeant cracks a joke, it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. If Captain Armor even hits at humor, then I chortle for days. If the Princesses deign to share a moment of levity with me, I immediately keel over and die laughing.”

“Hey!” a pony shouted from somewhere. “Is that The Great and Powerful Trixie?”

“Indeed it is!” Trixie instantly struck a pose, and a cream-colored mare rushed over to her. “Behold! The one and only, the Great and Powerful Trrrixie!”

“Wow! I can’t believe it’s really you! Daisy, Lily, look!” The mare gestured to a pair of ponies who were chatting nearby. “It’s Trixie! She came back!”

Before Trixie could reply, a mob appeared around her, and everypony clamored to catch a glimpse of the famous showmare. Trixie waved and mugged for the growing crowd, her smile spread from ear to ear.

“Finally! Some respect! Yes, yes! Please, don’t push! The Great and Powerful Trixie will sign a few autographs for you, but please wait your turn! There’s plenty of Trixie to go around!”

“I don’t believe what I’m seeing.” Private Tart gawked as what seemed like all of Ponyville swarmed around Trixie, almost like a pack of parasprites that had found a five-layer, blue velvet cake with vanilla frosting and extra sprinkles. 

Trixie, for her part, drank it all in with aplomb. She was quick to sign the various scraps of paper that were being thrust towards her, smiling and waving at the flashing cameras, and continuing to call out to the crowd without the slightest hesitation.

“What brings you back to Ponyville, Miss Trixie?” a small colt asked from the front.

“Why, Trixie is here on official royal business, sent by none other than Prince Baked Bean himself! Yes, yes! It’s really me, it’s Trixie! Drink it in! I know it’s a lot, the hair, the bod,”—she paused to blow a kiss to another photographer—“but please, do try to contain yourselves!”

“We love you, Great and Powerful Trixie!” a pony shouted.

“And I love you, random citizen!”

“Seriously?” Tart murmured before taking to the air. “This day just got a whole lot worse.”


 * *  ✶ * * 


The Great and Powerful Trixie let out a long, luxurious sigh, and wiggled her rump slightly to settle fully into the plush spa chair. Now that she had finally broken away from her unexpected fans and their demands to bask in her presence, Trixie was content to enjoy the pampering and the quiet tinkling of an unseen water fixture. 

Trixie had never realized how exhausting being popular was. Up until now, Trixie had never been able to attract attention—or, more accurately, she could not attract positive attention—to herself. The nobility of Canterlot put up with her only because she was Prince Bean’s secretary, and truth be told, a lot of them only put up with him because he was married to Princess Celestia. If given the opportunity, most ponies would excuse themselves from Trixie’s presence while pulling their own disappearing act that was so good, Trixie wanted to learn how to do it for her show. 

But if the local praise and adulation kept up, Trixie was going to have a hard time taking care of her tasks before the arrival of Princess Celestia and Prince Bean.

She tried to tell herself that it didn’t really matter; that Sparkle would take care of everything anyway, but the idea refused to comfort her. If she didn’t get the checklist checked off, then she ran the very real risk of disappointing her employers.

Being responsible is annoying.

But for now, she was going to enjoy the cool cucumbers on her eyes and the relaxing tingle of the facial cream. A gentle back massage and horn filing was scheduled after her facial was done, and once the hooficure was completed, Trixie would then worry about how to finish her job.

“Ahhh,” an unseen pony sighed in relief behind her. “This is just what I needed.”

“Tell me about it.” Trixie had to agree.

“You ever have one of those days?”

Trixie tilted her head towards the speaker, her mind filling with all of the ‘heated discussions’ she had been engaged in over the past week in Canterlot. “For me, they’re all one of those days. I’m going to start coming here every time I visit Ponyville.”

“You’re not from here, either? I’ve been trying to make friends, but it’s not easy. They’re not saying it, but I think everypony knows about my past. I may have been a tiny bit completely and utterly evil.”

Trixie rolled her eyes, but the effect was lost since nopony could see them. “Ponies judge me on my past, too.”

“Wow, finally! A pony I can relate to!” 

“But the Great and Powerful Trixie doubts you have been as evil as me.” Trixie removed the cucumbers, and she offered a smile as she turned around. 

“Trixie? Who’s that?”

“Trixie is me!” Trixie struck a pose, then frowned. “I take it you’ve never heard of The Great and Powerful Trixie before now?”

“Can’t say that I have, sorry. My name is Starlight Glimmer.”

“Starlight, Starlight. You sound familiar.” Trixie tapped her chin, then brightened. “A-ha! You’re The Starlight Glimmer, Stealer of Cutie Marks and Destroyer of Alternate Dimensions! Impressive accomplishments. Trixie has heard all about you from Princess Celestia and Prince Baked Bean.”

“You have?” Starlight shrunk back and swallowed nervously. “How do you know them?”

“Trixie is the personal and exclusive secretary to Prince Bean.” Trixie rubbed one hoof on her chest. “All official communiques to and from His Royal Highness go through me.”

“Really? You couldn’t have been all that evil then if you work for him.”

“You doubt the Great and Powerful Trixie?” Trixie smiled smugly. “You there! Yes, the white, muscular pegasus!”

“Yeah?” said pegasus asked.

“Do you know who I am?”

“Uh, yeah?” he slowly said. “You’re the Great and Powerful Trixie, the Element of Pride.”

“And what is Trixie famous for in Ponyville?” Trixie went on with a bob of her eyebrows.

“Well, you did bring the Ursa Major into—”

“Ursa Minor, and that wasn’t my fault. What is Trixie famous for after that?”

“There was the Alicorn Amulet—”

“After that!” spat Trixie. “More recently!”

“You’ve got the largest open bar tab at Berry Pinch’s—”

“Not that recent! And Trixie is going to pay that off today. Remember that event with Tirek?”

“You fought Tirek?” asked Starlight with a gasp. 

“Distracted him, mostly,” said the muscular pegasus. “Still, one of the bravest things I’ve ever seen anypony do.”

Trixie puffed back up.

“Other than Twilight Sparkle,” continued the pegasus. 

“Doesn’t sound all that evil to me,” Starlight quipped dryly.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie used to be petty and narcissistic—”

Private Tart snorted from the other side of the room where she had been pretending to read a magazine.

Trixie glared at her guard for a moment. “But the Humble and Penitent Trixie has learned her lesson. I admit I haven’t always been the nicest of ponies, and I have done a lot of things that I regret, but that’s all behind me now.”

“Huh!” Starlight looked impressed. “So, do you think you could give me some tips on how to rehabilitate my image?”

“Starlight, my new friend,” Trixie wrapped a foreleg around her and pulled her into a confident hug. “By the time Trixie is done, you’ll be the second-most popular and beloved pony this side of Canterlot!”

“That’s it. I’m calling for reinforcements,” Tart muttered. “And a pin.”


 * *  ✶ * * 


“Now then, my young apprentice, it is time you began your journey under the tutelage of the Great and Powerful Trixie.” Trixie grinned broadly at Starlight as they walked towards the center of Ponyville. “Sparkle may be the Princess of Friendship, but she doesn’t know everything. I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

“But you’re not wearing any sleeves,” Starlight noted. 

“Nuance, and don’t change the subject. Though I do like your redirection skills. Have you ever thought of taking up a career in—” Trixie threw an arc of sparkling glitter over the pair of them “—show business? There’s no business like it, no business I know.”

“No, can’t say that I have.” Starlight brushed the glitter from her shoulder, then snorted a flake off the end of her nose. 

“You really should. Now, what has Princess Perfect Smartypants told you about friendship?”

“Well, not much, actually.” Starlight rubbed the back of her head in thought. “I mean, she’s helped me see that I can’t force ponies to do my bidding, but other than that…”

“Well, we’ll soon fix that!” Trixie said, her joy overflowing. Finally! A way to upstage that insufferable Sparkle and prove that she wasn’t the end-all, beat-all that everypony believed her to be! By the time Trixie was done with Starlight, Sparkle would be forced to acknowledge the Great and Powerful Trixie’s skill! “And we begin right now!”

“Hey, it’s Trixie!” a stallion called out from across the street. “Trixie! Can I get an autograph?”

“Lesson one: always make time to schmooze with the rabble,” she said out of the corner of her mouth, beckoning the stallion over. “Of course, sir! Who do I make the inscription out to?”

“Oh, wow! Could you make it out to Caramel, please? I’m one of your biggest fans!”

“But of course! Allow me to introduce you to my assistant, Miss Starlight Glimmer. She’s new in town. Have you had a chance to meet her?”

Caramel glanced over Starlight and hummed thoughtfully. “I think so? I’ve seen you around, at least.”

“Lesson two,” Trixie whispered, as she took the photo of herself from her eager fan. “Appeal to other ponies’ interests. Mister Caramel, didn’t you provide covering fire with a pie-apult during the Battle of Ponyville?”

“I did provide a few shots,” he said sheepishly, but with a small grin.

“Trixie was wondering what kind of pies you used. They looked delicious.” 

“Oh, they were just some mass-produced boysenberry pies, Miss Trixie. Your fireworks did far more damage.”

“Interesting. What is your favorite type of pie?”

“Oh, I don’t have a favorite. I guess apple, if I had to pick, since we have Sweet Apple Acres right in town.”

“Starlight, what is your favorite kind of pie?” Trixie asked with a sly wink.

Thankfully, Starlight picked up quickly on what Trixie was attempting to do. “I like apple pies too, but my favorite apple dessert by far is caramel apples. Do you happen to know a good place where I could get some?”

“Really? Y-you like caramel apples?” Caramel stammered bashfully, his gaze on his hooves. “Um, well, I like to think that I make the best. I mean, I provide all the caramel apples to Sugarcube Corner, the local bakery. And candied apples, too. I make some really good candied apples.”

“Really?” Starlight quickly winked at Trixie. “Why don’t you tell me more?”


 * *  ✶ * * 


“Not bad, Starlight. Not bad.” Trixie paused to finish off her candied apple, licking her lips. 

“Really?!” Starlight blurted and pranced in place for a moment, but then she visibly pulled herself back with a small smile. “I mean, I wasn’t really sure if I was saying the right things to him. I’m more used to telling others what to think, instead of hearing their thoughts.”

“With some practice, and my superior tutelage, you’ll soon be able to make ponies think what you want them to think. A true magician always controls her audience. They see what she wants them to see, hear what she wants them to hear, and believe what she tells them to believe.” Private Tart, positioned behind them ever dutifully, cleared her throat. “Within appropriate boundaries, of course.”

“So, what’s the next lesson?” Starlight eagerly asked as they walked into Ponyville once more. 

“Hmm…” Trixie glanced her new protege over, and tsked. “We need to work on that smile of yours. It looks too fake, too forced.”

“Does it?” Starlight rubbed her cheeks. “I guess I just got used to smiling the same way all the time in Our Town.” 

“You’re not going to make any friends looking like that! Here. Relax your face. No, not like that. Deep breath in, and…” Trixie began tugging on the corners of Starlight’s mouth. “Loosen up a little… there, better… ack! Worse! Definitely worse!”

“I can’t do it, can I?” Starlight moaned. 

“Yes you can! We just need a new strategy.” Trixie tapped her chin, then perked up. “A-ha! Trixie has it. Close your eyes. That’s it. No peeking! Now, think back to when you were in the spa right when you first met the Great and Powerful Trixie. How did you feel then?”

Starlight thought back to the warmth and comfort of the spa that had begun to unwind the frayed nerves and knotted muscles of the last few stressful weeks. “Well, I—”

“There! That’s a good smile!” Trixie proclaimed. “Keep that one!”

“Really? Wow!” Starlight touched her lips for a moment, then smiled more. “You know what? I like this!”

“Was there ever any doubt?” Trixie said, matching the smile with her own. 

“Hey! It’s the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

Before either pony had a chance to react, the mob from earlier reappeared and surrounded the pair, each member clamoring for an autograph or a photo of the stunning showmare. Trixie retreated a few steps and offered a nervous chuckle, but she had no idea what she was supposed to do with all of this sustained attention. It was beginning to wear her down, and just when she was beginning to enjoy her time with her new friend.

Suddenly, Starlight let out a sharp whistle. “All right! Everypony who wants to meet the Great and Powerful Trixie, form a single file line to my right! If you’re not in line, you’ll be kicked out!”

“Kicked out of where?” Trixie had to ask, but the question went unanswered. In a flash, the crowd did as they had been told, and Starlight glanced them over with a critical stare before turning and nodding to Trixie. “There we go!”

“How did you do that?”

“Well, I am pretty good at organizing stuff,” Starlight said proudly. “Magic props, brainwashed crowds…”

The two laughed, and Trixie couldn’t help but be impressed. This Starlight Glimmer would be a fabulous assistant if she ever went on the road with her magic show again.
 

 * *  ✶ * * 


“Are you sure you’re not interested in show business?” Trixie asked Starlight as she signed an autograph for the next pony in line. “You’d be a natural, you know. With your help, I might even be able to pull off the most stupendous, the most awe-inspiring magic trick Equestria has ever seen!”

“Really? What’s that?” Starlight asked. 

“The Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive!” Trixie proclaimed. She then pulled her new friend into a hug while gesturing with her free hoof. “Only one magician has ever pulled it off: my hero, the great Hoofdini! You are supposed to blast yourself into the open mouth of a hungry manticore. After the manticore chews you up and swallows you, you magically step out of a box on the other side of the stage, completely unharmed!”

“That sounds very…”

“Dangerous?” Trixie offered.

“I was gonna say cool!”

“I knew I liked you for a reason,” Trixie shared a hoofbump. “But I’ve never been able to figure out how he did it. If I tried it, I’d get chewed up and swallowed by that manticore.”

“Not if you could use real magic,” Starlight mused.

“Obviously. Way to rub it in.”

“No, I mean, I could help, like you said! You could start the trick, and right before you got chewed up, I could use magic to save you and make you appear in the black box!”

“I guess that would work,” Trixie said thoughtfully. “But if you made one mistake, I’d be a goner.”

Starlight scoffed. “When it comes to magic, I don’t make mistakes.”

“Of course, Trixie would want to practice first,” she said while taking the next paper to sign. “Who do I make the autograph out to?”

“Could you make it out to Baked Bean, please?” 

“Your Highness!” Trixie was on her hooves in a flash, her ears splayed back as she caught the full force of her employer’s frown. “Trixie can explain! I just need to get a few more things checked off…” her gaze darted around, and then she quickly shoved herself under the table. “Where are my saddlebags?! I just had them…”

“Do you mean these saddlebags that I found at the spa?” Bean held them out, complete with the unchecked checklists. Trixie hit her forehead, yelped in pain, then extracted herself and snatched them with her magic.

“Trixie espèce d'idiot! Just a moment, Your Highness. Trixie can get all of this done before dinner.”

“Dinner!” Starlight gasped. “Oh, horsefeathers! I was supposed to be back at the castle by now for dinner with Princess Celestia!”

“An hour ago, actually,” Bean said. 

Starlight retreated behind Trixie, and they both could not look him in the eye. “We, um… well… you see… We can still make it if… No, I promised not to use that spell again… Um…”

“Trixie, you have caused confusion and delay,” Bean said sternly. “Princess Twilight was running around like her tail was on fire when we arrived, and half of her castle has been torn apart by her frantic efforts to prepare without your checklists. The dinner itself was a disaster; Twilight pulled two random ponies and a donkey off the street, and none of them had any idea what was going on.  Lieutenant Spear Point is furious over having to send more guards to Ponyville to help Private Lemon Tart keep this crowd under control, and don’t even get me started on Spike! We trusted you, Miss Lulamoon, and you’ve really let us down.”

“This isn’t Trixie’s fault! Trixie was just…”

“Trixie was just trying to help me make new friends, Your Highness.” Starlight stepped forward, albeit with her ears still splayed and her tail tucked down. “She saw I was having a really hard time, and she took the time to befriend me when nopony else would. If you’re going to be mad at anypony, be mad at me. Trixie would have gotten her work done if I hadn’t interrupted her.”

“No, Starlight.” Trixie put a hoof on Starlight’s shoulder and shook her head. “I’m the only one to blame here. I should have gotten my work done first, then helped you out. I had a job to do, and I didn’t do it. I’m sorry, Prince Bean.”

Prince Bean let out a short huff. “Thank you, but an apology won’t be enough to fix all of the problems you’ve caused. I think both of you need to come back to Twilight’s castle with me, for starters.”

“Of course, Your Highness,” Starlight said, retreating behind Trixie once more. “We’ll do whatever you want us to do.”

“So, does this mean the Great and Powerful Trixie won’t be signing any more autographs?” the next pony in line asked. The remaining crowd let out a chorus of disappointed sighs.

“Trixie will be back later, once she’s done cleaning up,” Bean said to everypony’s obvious relief. He then turned back to Trixie. “We did have time scheduled this evening so I could offer my thanks to the citizens for helping me fight Tirek, so I think you could tend to your fans during that time, don’t you?”

“With my new friend’s help,” Trixie pulled Starlight into a friendly hug, “it’ll be no problem at all, Your Highness.”


 * *  ✶ * * 


“Now, then. About your punishment.”

Trixie drew in a deep breath. Now that everything had been straightened up and everypony had gone home for the evening, it was time for her to face her employer. She took a quick moment to adjust her secretarial collar and ensure her mane was still up in the Wysteria-approved bun.   “Trixie will accept whatever you deem to be just.” 

“Wait! Your Highness, please.” Starlight stepped up again, rather nervously. “Don’t punish her. This was my fault. You should imprison me, not her.”

“Imprison? For failing to complete paperwork?” Bean said with a small laugh. “That’s a tad bit extreme. I was just going to give her a verbal warning and deduct the cost of dinner out of her paycheck. Her dinner, not the whole rolling disaster. Spike was going to save her plate in the icebox, but since we’re going back to Canterlot, he ate the leftovers. And the plate.”

“Wait, really?” Trixie asked. “That’s it? Princess Celestia isn’t going to send me to the moon?”

“She left your punishment up to me,” Bean replied. “Since you report to me and Wysteria, not her. Strictly speaking.”

“How much did dinner cost?” Starlight asked. “I’ll pay for it.”

“No.” Bean shook his head. “Miss Glimmer, I admire that you’re trying to take the blame here, but Trixie had a job to do and she didn’t do it. I did decide to take it easy on Trixie since she was helping you out, but in the end…”

“Thank you, Starlight, but Prince Bean is right,” Trixie said. “I accept your punishment, Your Highness. I’ll draw up my reprimand and have it ready for your signature by oh-nine hundred tomorrow.”

“Good. As for you, Miss Glimmer, I’m sure Princess Twilight will have a discussion with you, but I’ll leave that to her. The only thing I’ll say is that you’re very fortunate to have met Trixie. Normally, she’s a very punctual and organized pony, and highly loyal. If you’ve gained her friendship, then you’ve gained a new friend for life.

“However, we need to get going. It’s late, and Trixie has a lot of paperwork to file before she goes home for the night.”

“I guess this is goodbye, then?” Starlight asked Trixie. 

“Not goodbye. Trixie prefers ‘à toute à l'heure!’” She gave her new friend a hug and a smile. “I still say you’d make a Great and Fabulous assistant. We’ll talk more about your role in my Humble and Penitent tour later, okay?”

“Sounds good. I’ll write up some ideas and have Spike send them to you tomorrow morning.”

“Wait to send them until about eleven or so. Trixie is usually in a meeting then, and it’s hilarious when I burp up messages right in the middle of their presentations.”

The two laughed, hugged again, and Starlight waved as Trixie and Prince Bean walked to the waiting carriage.

“Did Princess Celestia go back to Canterlot already?” Trixie asked as they boarded.

“She did. She was worried about Apollo.”

“I see.” Trixie braced as the carriage leapt into the air, but then she twisted to wave one last time to Starlight. 
 
“Seems like you made a pretty good friend. Despite everything that happened, I’m actually kinda proud of you, Miss Lulamoon.”

“Starlight is a good friend.” Trixie’s smile grew larger. “Trixie hopes we can get together again soon. Without destroying the world, of course.”


 * *  ✶ * * 

> 10. - Thestrals
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tonight was a night long to be remembered in the history of Equestria.

Princess Luna, Prima Nocta and Most Royal Diarch of All Equestria, drew in a slow, even breath as her carriage swiftly moved towards a place that she did not wish to visit and a past that she would rather forget. 

But her past had to be fully reconciled with her present if she ever wanted to find peace, both within herself and with what she’d done. 

It was rather amazing how all of those perceived slights and minor offenses had grown into the festering canker that had been Nightmare Moon, bit by bit and wholly because of her. There were so many times she could have walked herself back, so many warnings from her dear Star Struck and her Twilight Starbright that went unheeded. 

That was, perhaps, the injury that stung the most. Her wounded pride blinded her to the truths they were trying to impart, and now, even after a thousand years, far too many ghosts of that pride continued to haunt her. 

Her eyes drifted up to the new moon that hung in the night sky, dark but still faintly visible against the spotty cloud cover. It was fitting, in a way, that her meeting with the thestrals should come at such a time, but with any luck—and if Harmony would permit—this visit would mark the final page of the last chapter from her betrayal. From here, the future would hopefully wax stronger, and Luna could finally claim full reconciliation with all ponies for her actions. 

“Princess Luna?”

“Yes, Corporal?” Luna glanced at the unicorn guard sitting beside her. 

“We’re on schedule, so we should be arriving at the rendezvous point in just a few minutes, ma’am.”

Luna nodded, and the corners of her mouth twitched up. “Thank you, Larkspur. Your preparations for this diplomatic meeting have been exceptional. I commend you for your service and diligence.”

Larkspur saluted, but somewhat slowly, like he was trying to determine if that was the appropriate response for his Princess. “Thank you, ma’am.”

So steadfast. He really is so much like my Star Struck.

Luna studied her loyal guard for a moment as he began to study a clipboard with the itinerary, but then her gaze moved out and down to the dark forest streaking beneath them. With Larkspur’s announcement, one of two things were now bound to happen, but the Princess of the Night feared that there was, in fact, only one true outcome.

Luna knew the temptations of power. The yearning. The desire. The pleasure of its intoxicating grasp. The rage that fed upon itself to keep that power to herself, even if it meant destroying the world. It was entirely possible that her former royal guard had drunk deeply from the same well of fury and rage that she had created, nurtured, and forced upon them. She alone was responsible for that decision. It was quite possible they would be as unwilling to forgive her as she was herself.

It was her actions that had led to their current state of near banishment and exile. Had she heeded Star’s council and warnings, they would have remained in their appointed place, serving Equestria in a way that nopony else could.

A faint noise danced along the razor’s edge of her hearing in a familiar pitch and unforgettable tempo. Luna closed her eyes for just a moment, and when she opened them again, she drew in a deep sigh over the startled gasp of Corporal Larkspur. 

For the first time in a thousand years, the thestrals had returned to their ceremonial places in front of and behind her carriage. Clad in the brilliantly royal purple armor that marked them as Luna’s Elite, they slid silently into their appointed positions without hesitation.

One regal eyebrow slid upwards as Luna surveyed this historical moment. The two lead thestrals each proudly bore a Banner of the Two Sisters, an honor that not even Celestia received when she traveled. For them to bear the emblems of their mutual royal sovereigns—the current emblems—was most peculiar and slightly confusing. If they had been displaced and dispersed after her fall, then how did they know the proper protocol? 

“Stars and moon above,” Larkspur put a hoof on his chest and took in a deep breath. “I hate it when they do that.”

Before Luna could ask for clarification, the carriage pitched down, the solar pegasi in complete synchronization with their new nocturnal compatriots. It was almost like the two different groups had rehearsed these maneuvers together, and that notion in and of itself piqued Luna’s interest. What had the thestrals been up to during her banishment?

Her time to contemplate the matter was cut short when her carriage gently touched down. Two equal rows of thestrals lined a path from Luna’s conveyance to what looked like a large clearing in the forest, with a roaring bonfire providing illumination. With a glance, Luna could see no fault in their stance or their ceremonial armor. Did this mean they would return to her service, or that they were now ready to administer vengeance?

“Presenting!” A thestral from the head of the line bellowed, and in perfect unity, two dozen hooves moved to the hilts of their sabers. “Her Most Royal Highness, She Who Is the Night, Diarch of Equestria and Viscountess of the West Wede, Princess Luna!”

Said Princess watched impassively as each thestral drew their weapon, then snapped it to their right shoulder. This ritual was an ancient holdover from Commander Hurricane and the Pegasi Tribe, used to show that the troops were armed, trained, and ready to fight for their Liege, until their last breath and to the last pony. 

Her eyes moved to the end of the rows, where a large thestral awaited with the same unreadable expression she herself was trying to wear. This had to be their current commanding officer, given her position and the bright purple plumage on her helm. It was time to account for herself, and with head held high and outstretched wings, Princess Luna strode purposefully towards her destiny.

For a brief moment, she regretted not bringing her sister or her brother-in-law, but she had decided not to inform them of her actions after a fierce internal debate. Celestia could very well demand forgiveness for the younger sister, and that was the last thing Luna wanted. If she was to be forgiven, it would be because the thestrals offered it of their own free will, not because it was forced. 

Besides, Baked Bean was infernally curious, and he would interrupt the proceedings with a million questions. 

If this reunion went well, she would have to arrange a meeting. With questions. If not, well… she would not have to worry about it, she supposed. 

“Princess Luna.” The velveteen contralto of the massive mare boomed out, strong and proud, and Luna was pleased. “After a thousand years, you have returned to us.”

“Yes.” Luna kept her voice at almost-Canterlot Voice level, so she could be heard clearly across the vast clearing and into the trees. There had to be hundreds of glittering golden eyes peering through the distant upper branches, and she was sure there were many times that hidden where she could not see. “I have come to you this evening to ask for your forgiveness, and to reinstate all of you to your rightful place as my Royal Guard.”

“Forgiveness?” the commander replied. “You seek absolution for Nightmare Moon, then?”

“I do. In my anger and jealousy, I allowed myself to betray you, and my actions have driven you from your homes and your livelihoods. Had I not been blinded by my own hubris, you and your ponies would not have suffered and been cast out from society. I offer to you, and to all of you,” she said, moving her gaze around the open space “my most abject and humblest apologies, and this as your Princess, your commanding officer, and…” her voice hitched slightly “and as your friend. It is my intent to bring you back into the greater Equestrian society, to reinstate all who would step forward again as my Royal Guard, and to offer whatever recompense you deem necessary.”

With that, Princess Luna spread her wings to her side and bowed. Her knee had bent for few in her long life, but it did so now as the final emphasis to her words and desires.

“Rise, Princess Luna.” The commander took a step back, and spread her own leathery wings in deference. “For a thousand years, we have waited for your return and restoration. With your contrite words and humble confessions, you have shown us all that you have truly been redeemed.”

Velvet Midnight bowed her head and bent her knee to her Diarch, and without hesitation, the armored troops behind her spread their wings and took the knee before her. Like a dark wave rippling out from her, every thestral lowered themselves in humble obeisance, until the entire clearing had silently submitted to the nocturnal Princess. To Luna, it was like an immense weight was being lifted from her back, and a sublime joy that she had not felt in centuries filled her from nose to tail.

Once again, her little ponies had surprised her with love and acceptance that she did not deserve, but that she cherished with all her heart. 

“The prophecy now stands fulfilled!” she proclaimed, and every thestral rose up as one in both purpose and destiny. “I, Lieutenant Velvet Midnight, now pledge, on behalf of all thestrals, our continued undying devotion to you, Princess Luna, and to the Kingdom of Equestria. As we once were, so shall we be again: your loyal Soldiers of the Night!”

A great cheer erupted, filling the woods with an unbounded joy that brought Luna to tears. She was grateful beyond words that these ponies had so willingly offered their forgiveness to her. 

“And now, to celebrate the return of our Princess, let us feast!” Velvet Midnight roared with delight.


 * *  ☽  * * 


Tonight would long be remembered by Princess Luna.

The overwhelming pandemonium of happy thestrals overwhelmed Luna’s usual restraint just enough to release a contented sigh, while internally her heart felt like it might burst from joy. With Velvet Midnight’s pronouncement to feast, the thestral tribe had launched into a party so grand, Luna kept looking for a certain pink pony in the large crowd. Tables filled to overflowing with all manner of delectable food had appeared out of nowhere, and there was no hesitation on anypony’s part to partake. There was lively music and dancing, cheerful conversations over boisterous laughter, and best of all…

Luna smiled. Best of all, there was forgiveness.

Based on appearances, this party was bound to last well into tomorrow morning and would probably pick right back up again at moonrise. Luna, for her part, wanted this joyous occasion to last for as long as possible, mostly because of the wonderful atmosphere, but also because she was not looking forward to what would come after.

Bringing the thestrals back into the greater Equestrian society was going to be a tremendously difficult undertaking. She would need to speak with her sister about how that would best be brought about, and to Captain Shining Armor about reinstating her royal guard detail in Canterlot. Under him, of course. The good Captain had been doing such a splendid job that promoting one of her thestrals above him would be improper to say the least. 

There was enough time for that in years to come. Time for the ponies of Equestria to adjust and accept the thestrals, just as it had taken them time to adjust and accept her when she had been redeemed by the Elements of Harmony. 

The more she thought of it, the more Luna wished she had brought Celestia and Bean with her. Her elder sister would know exactly how to handle the integration, both for the military and civilians. The nobility would grumble about yet another unbalancing of their delicate power structures, but Celestia would handle their complaints and ‘persuade’ them to see things her way, just as she had when Luna had been reintroduced.

The mountains of opposition tended to shrink to molehills whenever Celestia showed up, and Luna was eternally thankful for that.

“Your Highness?” Velvet Midnight’s voice interrupted her reverie, and Luna turned to face her. “Might I have a moment of your time?”

“Certes.” Luna stood, then retreated a few paces away from the party with the thestral leader. “What can I do for you, my little pony?”

“Actually, I was about to ask you that question,” Velvet replied. “You seem somewhat preoccupied with your thoughts.”

“Somewhat, yes.”

Velvet nodded. “I would love to answer whatever questions I can, if it would help.”

Luna paused in thought for a moment. There were several other questions she had, and there was no time like the present. “I suppose I should ask about your history, to begin. There was little information available in the archives.”

“That was at our request, Your Highness,” Velvet said, and a sly smile came when she caught Luna’s curious glance. “I see this comes as a surprise to you, which means that Princess Celestia was true to her word. I will be sure to thank her when I see her next.”

This revelation was a bit of a shock, but not wholly unexpected. Celestia always did like to meddle, and the sneaky little thing had seemingly set matters up perfectly once again. “Why did you choose to remain in exile and to swear my sister to secrecy?”

“When you were banished, our ancestors decided that it would be in the best interest of all for the thestrals to separate themselves from Equestria. They feared the backlash that would inevitably occur when frightened ponies accused us of being corrupted by Nightmare Moon, somehow. Then, once your thousand years had come to an end, we would return to our rightful place as your eternally loyal guard, and take our place as the Soldiers of the Night once more.

“Princess Celestia begged them not to do this. She pleaded, with deep fervor, for them to remain, that they could work through whatever challenges may arise because of your fall together. She warned them that their self-imposed exile would only confirm the rumors they were trying to avoid, and that she could not guarantee that the ponies of the future would welcome us back. But it was all for naught; our ancestors were adamant and firm. They moved here, to the very edge of Equestria, and it is here where we have remained, patiently waiting for your summons.

“Of course, not every thestral thought this was a good idea either,” Velvet went on. “There were some who thought Celestia was right, and that we should remain. So, in order to persuade these holdouts, some genius decided to tell them there was a prophecy, and that it had been foretold that we would be separated and then return. We were all a deeply spiritual bunch back then, so that was enough to convince them to fall in line.”

“I sense that you have some disbelief about the prophecy,” Luna noted. 

Velvet shrugged. “I’m a bit more doubtful than most, to be fair. Being both the village leader and the local commanding officer means I have to be skeptical, as you well know. Please don’t misunderstand, Princess. I am not wholly without faith; I never doubted the prophecy, including the part that said you would return and reclaim us when the time was right. I just have a hard time believing that every single one of your royal guards could so easily be persuaded to leave Princess Celestia and the Castle of the Two Sisters. Our Oath was and remains to the Diarchy, to you, and to Equestria as a whole.” 

Luna nodded. “My soldiers would not have abandoned Equestria and my Sister, especially after I had. Most likely, there were several factors that went into the decision to leave, and only Celestia would remember the details. I shall speak to her about the events later, but for now, let us not concern ourselves with such matters.”

“I will be more than happy to share what I remember when we get home,” Celestia said, eliciting a gasp from the other two mares. The solar sovereign stepped out from her concealed place behind some convenient bushes, and she gave her younger sister an awkward and embarrassed grimace. “Can you forgive me for interrupting?”

“You are here?” Luna hugged Celestia warmly. “How did you know? Did Corporal Larkspur tell you about my designs?” 

“He did not. I actually learned about what was going on from Captain Shining Armor. Larkspur felt that organizing a security detail for a Princess was several degrees above his pay grade, so he consulted with the captain.” Celestia nodded to Larkspur, who was chatting with a thestral guard nearby and looking suspiciously innocent. “In fairness, Shining did not tell him who to pick for the security detail. He only gave a few suggestions and outlined the most important points. I believe a checklist was included. Most of the heavy lifting was completed by Corporal Larkspur on his own.” 

This revelation sent a small thrill of delight up Luna’s spine, and she let out a light laugh. “I never doubted him. Now that you mention it, Sister, I have another question. Did you tell Velvet Midnight about my visit, and did you make arrangements for the proper banners to be flown?”

Celestia shook her head. “I didn’t say anything to anypony about your plans. In fact, I intentionally kept myself out of the affairs of this evening. All I knew was the scheduled time of your arrival. I knew this was something you needed to do on your own, without me or my influence. I had resolved to not be here at all, but in the end, I decided to be available for assistance if you encountered any significant issues. Which you did not, and I am exceedingly pleased.”

“I am glad you came, Sister. Truth be told, I wanted you to be here, sharing this moment with me. But I am also pleased that you did not interfere.” Luna paused in thought, then turned her attention back to Velvet Midnight. “So, how do you know of the proper protocols for my arrival?”

“Princess Celestia may have let us go into exile, but she never left us alone, either,” Velvet replied with a snort of amusement, and Celestia nodded in agreement. “She was relentless in her efforts to reclaim us over the centuries. She was relentless, returning year after year over centuries, always trying her best to reclaim us. Always patient, always there when we needed her, always respecting our desire to remain sequestered from the rest of Equestria. Those efforts paid off, in small measure, about a hundred years ago, when my great-grandparents realized your return was fast approaching. While they would not be moved until you arrived, they did reluctantly permit some thestrals to join the Royal Guard so that we would be familiar with modern procedures, and thus, ready to be your Soldiers of the Night when you called once more. At the moment, a small company of thestrals are trained and at your disposal, with many more willing and able to answer your summons, should you deem it necessary.” 

“Lieutenant Midnight answers directly to Captain Armor,” Celestia added. “The royal guard corps have run many training exercises with the thestrals, so they are fully integrated and will have no problem stepping into their roles. We only need to change the armor they wear, and when they report for duty.”

“I think my troops are looking forward to that the most,” Velvet said with a bob of her eyebrows. “None of us are morning ponies, after all.”

“I do not doubt that,” Luna said. “I fear your integration back into society will not be so easy.”

Velvet nodded. “I agree, it won’t be easy. I’m sure there are many stigmas and concerns that we’ll need to overcome. But if the crystal ponies can be accepted after a thousand years, then so can we. It will take time and effort, but we’ll do it together.”

“So we shall. I will not abandon or betray you again. Whatever it takes to bring you back to your rightful place, it will be done.”

“And for that, we are most grateful, but as you said before, let’s not worry about that now. Would Your Highnesses care for a slice of mango cake? Evening Star baked it fresh just for tonight, and you’ll never find another dessert as decadent as hers.”

“I know a pony who would gladly challenge that assertion,” Luna said with a knowing glance to Celestia. “Please, lead the way.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


Princess Celestia blew away the steam from her tea, then sighed in appreciation as the comforting liquid slid over her tongue. Her dear husband, as expected, had exploded with a million questions when she had returned from the thestrals and their party. She had spent the better part of the day in explanation, with the occasional pause while he wrote her every word down. Apollo, for his part, was happily cooing in his bassinet, but he would be hungry soon, and after that, it’d be time for his nap.

She could use a nap, herself, too.

Celestia’s ears twitched as the scratch-scratch of Bean’s pencil came to a halt, and she gave him a cautioning glance when he began to chew on the hapless writing instrument. Despite her best efforts, she had never been able to break Bean of that terrible habit, but it wasn’t worth a fight over the matter. There were just some things that had to be endured in marriage and ruling, after all.

“So…” Bean paused, spat out his pencil, and scratched an ear. “So, how hard is it going to be to bring the thestrals back into society?”

“In all honesty, I am unsure. I fear my little ponies will be somewhat wary of them, given their apparent connection to Nightmare Moon.”

“There should be some ways to counteract that tendency. Something subtle, just because it would be far too easy to just ‘Princess’ this issue. Hm…”

The Princess in question did not object to her characterization. ‘Subtle’ was something she had been practicing for centuries, although not always successfully. “Having them within the ranks of the Royal Guard will be helpful in that regard. Granted, they’ve been there for some time, but since they will no longer be wearing solar armor—and thus not under the look-alike enchantment—I’m hopeful that ponies will be more trusting and open to them if they see that you and I are.”

“Oh, no problems there. Luna better set up that meeting with Lieutenant Midnight soon, or I’m gonna fly down there myself, with or without you two. In fact,” Bean hesitated for just a moment. “I bet it would really help if we appointed one of them as one of my guards, alongside Pokey and Clover. Having them in the circles of the highest levels of government would show a great deal of trust and respect, I think.”

Celestia nuzzled his ear, then kissed his cheek. “I will speak with Shining Armor and Velvet Midnight about it, but I believe they will be supportive.”

“We could ask Shining and Cadence to recruit some thestrals for their guard too. And maybe encourage a few of them to settle there with their families?” 

Celestia nodded. “Having them in various posts around Equestria, making appearances and answering questions will help others to learn about them, and learning helps with acceptance. This will also help to squash any rumors that may spring up, since ponies will be able to see what they are really like for themselves.”

“And what if…” Bean shook a forehoof in the air, his gaze distant for a moment. “What if we had them doing things that weren’t related to the guard? Like, for example, what if my parents hired a couple of them to work at the Zuerst?”

Celestia shook her head from side to side slightly in thought. “Perhaps, but I wouldn’t want either your parents or the thestrals to feel like they were being forced into such an arrangement. But I suppose we could offer employment and relocation services, so those thestrals who did wish to find new jobs would have an easier time.”

“The next time we see my parents, we can discuss it with them, too.” Bean yawned, and slid his pencil into the spiral binding of his notebook. “But it’s been a long day, and I think I’m going to get wood rot if I write anything else. Shall I go get dinner started while you take care of Pollie?”

Celestia hummed a note of delight and pecked Bean’s nose. “That sounds delightful. Would you mind making me a mango cake for dessert?”

“Really?” Bean tilted his head. “Why mango?”

“Because there is a thestral who claims to be the best pastry and dessert chef in the whole enclave, and possibly even Equestria. Before I send my champion to bring this pony’s ego down a few notches, I want to make sure he will be victorious in battle.”

Bean grew a lecherous grin. “Give me twenty minutes, and I’ll give you a cake so delicious, your taste buds will dance and sing, and you will forget all about this imposter’s inferior confection.”

“I can hardly wait,” Celestia purred with delight.


 * *  ✹ * * 


Corporal Larkspur was not looking forward to his debrief with Captain Armor. 

Granted, he had known this meeting would happen from the moment he had gone to his commanding officer for assistance on how to put together a security detail for a Princess. He felt that he had done a reasonable job, overall, and Princess Luna had only praise for his efforts.

But there had been some missteps, and he knew it. While he wasn’t going to be in trouble, per se, he was going to have to account for the operational hiccups, and he had no idea what his commanding officer was going to say.

He hoped Captain Armor would be understanding, at least.

With that, Corporal Larkspur took a step back from the Captain’s office door. He’d been standing outside for a few minutes in an attempt to steel his resolve, but he couldn’t delay this anymore. Royal Guards were always punctual, and if Lieutenant Spear Point’s angry reactions were anything to go by, Captain Armor was not a pony to keep waiting.

With a deep breath, and standing a little taller than normal, Larkspur gave five authoritative knocks on the door of destiny, then braced himself. 

“Enter.”

Larkspur marched in, stopped and saluted in front of the captain’s desk, and kicked the door shut with a rear hoof. “Corporal Larkspur, reporting for debrief, sir.”

“At ease, Corporal.” Luna’s reply nearly broke Larkspur’s stoic stance, but he managed to hold himself together. Barely. “Have a seat. The good captain and I have much to discuss with you.”

Larkspur plopped his rump on the chair nearest to him and swallowed hard. Captain Armor was studying him with an intent, unreadable glare while Luna whispered something in his ear. This was not how he had expected this meeting to begin.

“Thank you, Princess,” Shining said to Luna once she was done, his gaze remaining on his subordinate. “Corporal, let’s have a little chat, shall we?”

“Yes, sir.”

“It would seem your efforts have caught Princess Luna’s attention.” Shining Armor leaned back in his chair. “It appears that she is both pleased and proud with the work you have completed, and she is eager to see how you will handle your next task.”

“Thank you, Princess Luna.” Larkspur dipped his head. “I greatly appreciate your kind words, but I know there are things that could have gone better.”

“And we’ll discuss that in a moment.” The corners of Shining Armor’s mouth twitched up ever so slightly. “Corporal, to be honest, I’m pleased with your work as well. You conducted yourself well, the guards in your detail had no complaints with your execution, and Lieutenant Velvet Midnight even offered her compliments. Your overall performance as of late has shown marked improvement, and with Princess Luna’s blessing, I’m going to put you on my short list for promotion consideration. Keep up the good work, and I think you’ll find yourself as a Sergeant in short order.”

Larkspur felt like he might be overwhelmed with joy with this news. “Thank you, sir! I will give you my absolute best work, sir!”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Shining shared a quick wink with the smirking Princess. “Now, let’s discuss what happened. I hope you saved me a piece of that mango cake.”

Lark swallowed nervously. “I tried, but Princess Celestia was there, and…”

“Say no more.” Shining Armor shook his head. “There are some tasks that even we must face with knowledge of our inevitable defeat.”


 * *  ✹ * * 
 
> Bonus! Nightmare Night Rough Draft
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

There were times in life when Chrysalis really wondered about her life decisions.

Not that she would ever admit to them, of course. She was a self assured, independent, and confident woman who always got what she wanted. Her charms could hypnotize anybody who laid eyes on her, and her wordplay was so skilled, she could convince anyone to do anything she wanted them to.

But in this one particular instance, she might have not thought her actions through all the way. 

“Okay, dear,” her current boyfriend harshly whispered in her ear. “This is one of the biggest parties the company has, and if I can schmooze the right people, I’ll be on the board by the end of the year. Just keep your pretty mouth shut for a change, smile, and nod politely. Think you can handle that?”

“Yes, Sombra,” she snarked back. “You’ve made your expectations abundantly clear over the last month.”

“Watch your tone, woman.” His grip tightened on her upper arm. “Unless you’d like to go back to that cesspool called Canterlot High.”  

Maybe I should. Principal Celestia was never this horrible. I don’t know why she was ever attracted to you.

Chrysalis plastered on a fake smile, but it was enough to placate Sombra. With a huff, he led her into the hotel’s large ballroom, and she took a moment to look over the attendees.

It was filled with the expected assortment of characters. Withered old men in expensive three-piece suits clumped together in various groups around the hall, joking about the size of their yachts or some other garbage that compensated for their diminished prowess in other areas of life. Attached to each of the ancient vultures were a variety of eye candy women, all about Chrysalis’ age, if not younger, she noted with disdain. Each of them, like Chrysalis herself, were dressed in opulent and colorful dresses, patterned with stripes or spots or other such imagery to match the animal theme of the party. Some wore cat ear headbands, some had attached fake tails to their impossibly small waists, but the variations were small and insignificant. Their attire was all for show, like peacocks strutting around and posturing to the other peacocks in the room.

Chrysalis’ ‘costume’ was no exception. It was a sleeveless, low-cut dress that was held up mostly by tape and wishful thinking, tight on the important curves and striped yellow and black to vaguely resemble a bumblebee. Her hair had been subjected to hours of torture at the salon to get it into an intricate updo, her lips were stained with a deep black lipstick, and a cheap bumblebee headband completed the look. In all honesty, Chrysalis felt ridiculous, but since she was only supposed to make Sombra look good to his employers—and he had been the one to select the horrible dress, for the record —she went along with it for reasons she couldn’t remember now.

It was an affliction that had been growing steadily over the past few months. At first, her relationship with Sombra had been a  steamy, sordid affair, with secret rendezvous and surreptitious messages that had thrilled her romantic inclinations and kept Principal Celestia in the dark. When Sombra had convinced her to leave Canterlot High and to forge a new life with him, she had been head over heels in love, and their frequent nightly encounters only made the flames of passion burn brighter and hotter.

But as time had gone on, the flames had cooled, the demands of Sombra’s ambitions pushed into their personal time, and now…

Chrysalis glanced over Sombra’s grim, somber face. Now she wasn’t sure that she had any affection for him at all.

Or that he ever had any for her in the first place.

As ordered, Chrysalis kept her mouth shut as Sombra led her around and introduced her to people she couldn’t care less about, smiled, and nodded politely. She had always been good at looking good, and she had honed that skill to a fine art over her lifetime. It was the major reason why she could always achieve her desires, and it annoyed her that Sombra was using her talents to get what he wanted.

Thankfully, she didn’t have to actually listen to the insipid conversations going on around her. She could nod at the appropriate times based on tones and inflections, so she let her mind wander back to when she had been a guidance counselor at Canterlot High.

They were fond recollections now, and she wished she could be there, instead of at this boring soirée. Vice Principal Luna always had the best halloween decorations, and she could be delightfully dark and macabre when she wanted to be. Principal Celestia would always have an extravagant All Hallow’s Eve party comparable to none, and the inventiveness of the student body was always amazing.

Granted, their Halloween costumes were mostly designed by, if not created outright by Rarity, who always insisted on doing so for free, as it would be good for her portfolio for college.

It was a bit odd that she would actually miss the teenage miscreants, but as she looked back, she had always felt filled with an assortment of joyful emotions whenever she had helped a student find their way.

That was a bridge that she couldn’t cross back over, much as she might want to. When she had made her romantic escape, she had burned the bridge, pulled out the support pillars, and destroyed the road leading up to the former site a mile in each direction.

No, this was her life now, for worse or for dreadfully awful.

Chrysalis allowed herself to be paraded around for a few hours, but eventually, her tolerance levels hit their limits. Before her ‘date’ could lead her to the next bunch of raisins, she leaned over and put her lips next to Sombra’s ear.

“May I be excused to go to the bathroom, Daddy?” she whispered in a sultry tone.

His first reaction was to glare daggers at her, as she expected, but then he harrumphed in annoyance. “Fine. I want to talk to Upper Crust by myself anyway. When you get done, wait for me by the h'orderves.”

“Thank you, Precious.” She pulled away and dipped her head to him. “Master is too good to poor old Chrysalis.”

“Get out of here,” he threatened, his tone low and dangerous.

Chrysalis rolled her eyes, but she knew she’d pushed him to his limit, so she made herself scarce. Pushing his buttons did provide a few rays of sunshine in her unhappy life, but they were always short lived.

The restrooms were located outside the hall, near the main entrance to the hotel. Thankfully, this meant that Sombra couldn’t see where she was once she was in the hallway, and she strode outside as quickly as her dress would allow her. Some fresh air would do her good, as would a quick smoke break to take the edge off of her nerves.

She found a dedicated smoker’s area around the corner, and once she was sure Sombra hadn’t followed her, she produced a cigarette and lighter from her clutch purse. She’d picked up the habit during her own high school years, but had managed to quit when she’d been hired at Canterlot High. She’d fallen off the bandwagon a few months ago, and as she took a long drag, she added her regret over starting again to the ever-growing pile.

“Smoking is bad for you, ma'am.”

The comment caught Chrysalis by surprise, but only because the speaker had the audacity to call her out. She rather liked the bravado, but she made a great show of exhaling the smoke to hide the fact.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she shot back, her eyes wandering over the broad-shouldered gentleman standing by a nearby parked car. Her lips curled upwards as she drank in the shiny brass and gold rank insignia of his formal military uniform, and she slid her free hand down to her hip. “But for you, soldier, I might be willing to quit cold turkey.”

“Nah. See, you’ve got it all wrong. Don’t quit because anyone told you to. Quit because you care about yourself and your health.”

Chrysalis huffed. “There’s very little to care about in my life right now,” she muttered.

“You look like you’re the type who’s confident and self-assured,” he went on, closing the trunk of his car. “It’s a shame all of that is controlled by some leaves you lit on fire.”

“What are you, the morality police?” Chrysalis shot. “You’ve got no right to judge me, or my actions.”

“I suppose not. I still maintain that smoking is bad for you, though.” He walked over and offered a hand. “I’m afraid I didn’t catch your name, ma’am.”

“Bluebelle,” Chrysalis lied. “And you are?”

“Master Sergeant Hokey Pokey, ma’am, of the Five Oh First Airborne.” 

“So that uniform isn't just for the holiday?” she purred, and shook the offered hand with a delicate touch. “How interesting. What brings such an esteemed gentleman to this lowly motel?”

“Just dropping off a friend, ma’am. She's hooking up with her family in the morning.”

“Oh? And then what?” she asked, a plan brewing in her brain.

“Back to my own hotel room to change out of this chicken suit, so sadly, I won't be here to chide you over your bad habits.”

“I see. And,” she took a smooth step towards him, “since you have a hotel room, I assume that means you’ll be flying out in the morning?”

“Before you get any ideas, ma’am,” Pokey took a step back and put a hand on her shoulder to keep her at arm’s length. “I’m not the type of gentleman you're interested in. My hotel room is strictly for one, as is my car.’’

“And I’m not the type of lady you think I am,” she countered. His statement ruined her plan A, but plan B was sure to succeed, with a subtle and nuanced performance. Chrysalis dropped her arms, slumped her shoulders, and moved her gaze to his finely polished shoes. “Look, I’ll be honest with you. I’m in a relationship that is… let's say it’s less than ideal.”

“Are you in danger?” he asked with concern, and Chrysalis fought to keep a smile from escaping. 

Hook, line, and sinker.

“No, I’m not in any physical danger,” she said, but then she scoffed. “But emotionally? Well…” She paused for dramatic effect, and her timing was perfect, as usual. “I just want to get away from all of this.” She motioned with one hand to herself. “I mean, just look at me. I’ve been nipped and tucked, squished and squeezed, cut and pasted. I’m all silicone implants and plastic now, forced to change everything about myself in a futile effort to get a few scraps of love from a tyrant. I can’t do it anymore. If you could just give me a ride to your hotel, I’ll walk away clean there and begin picking up the pieces. I’ll even ride in the back seat, so there won’t be any issues."

Chrysalis hadn’t intended to be so honest with this stranger. She could have given him any sob story and he would have bought it. She wasn’t sure why his soft hazel eyes seemed to bring out her true inner feelings.

But she had to admit that it felt good to get it all out, and for some odd and unknown reason, she trusted this Hokey Pokey. It was like she could taste his concern for her and his disdain for the one who had put her in this situation. She was half convinced he was ready to go find Sombra and tear into him for the neglect.

It was all rather pleasant, and that was something she hadn’t felt since her time at Canterlot High. 

“I think it might be better to call the police.” He pulled out a phone from his pocket. “Or maybe you have family in this area? I can get them on the line.”

“No. I left everyone I knew back in Canterlot. But you don’t need to call the cops. If I walk away now, I’ll just be leaving a loveless relationship before it gets worse.”

“Canterlot? Huh. You’re a long way from home, then.” Hokey Pokey glanced at his car, then back to her with concern. “Well, look. I can maybe give you a ride. But for both of our protection, I’m going to set up my phone to record the trip.”

“Very wise. I have no problem with that. Shall we?” Chrysalis asked, trying not to sound rushed. Sombra was bound to be missing her any moment now.

Hokey Pokey nodded, guided her to his car, and was gentlemanly enough to open the door for her. She appreciated the small touch, and she sat still and said nothing while he entered and set up his phone on the dashboard. 

As they began to pull away, Chrysalis happened to notice her now ex-boyfriend angrily storming outside. A smug smile came as he looked past them, and she hummed a small note as he proceeded to check around the parking lot as they drove away.

I do wonder how he’ll explain this, she mused as he grew smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror. Good bye, Sombra, and good riddance.





Chrysalis drew in a relieved breath as she stepped out of Hokey Pokey’s car, and she took a quick moment to look over the half full parking garage. Sombra’s party was being held at a hotel several miles away, so there was little chance he’d be able to figure out where she’d run off to.

Especially since the good sergeant was staying at the largest hotel in the city. She could blend into the bustling urban crowd with ease here, and her getaway would be complete.

Once she found a change of clothing, of course. Her current bumblebee dress would attract too much attention to herself. 

“Where do you plan on staying tonight?” Hokey Pokey asked, and she shrugged. 

“I’ll figure it out. You’ve done enough for me already, so don’t worry about it.”

Pokey retrieved his suitcase from the trunk, his facial features giving away the inner debate he was having. “I don’t want to just turn you out on the street, either. Why don’t… well, why don’t we see if there’s a vacancy here? I’ll pick up the tab for it, so don’t worry.”

Chrysalis glanced at her shoes and offered an embarrassed smile. She had him wrapped around her little finger now, and everything was going according to plan.

Except for the slight burning in her cheeks. She didn’t intend for that to happen, but it did help her act. And it felt nice.

“I hate to impose on your hospitality, but it would be helpful,” she bashfully replied. “Thank you very much, Sergeant.”

“I don’t suppose you have a spare change of clothes in that little purse of yours, either,” he said as they walked towards the elevator.

“They would be all wrinkly if I did,” she quipped with a bob of her eyebrows.

“I’ve got an old shirt and some sweatpants I can loan you. They’ll be big on you, but that’s gotta be better than sleeping in that dress.”

He did have a good point there. “That it would be. Thank you again.”

He nodded, and nothing more was said as they made their way to the front desk. Thankfully, there was a vacancy, but Chrysalis didn’t like the sly grin on the receptionist’s face as she typed on her computer.

“Mm-kay!” she announced. “We have you all set! You’ll be in room three twelve. Here’s your room key.”

“Wait, what?” Pokey asked. “But that… um…”

“Problem?” the clerk asked.

“Don’t you have any other rooms available?” he asked quickly in a harsh whisper.

The clerk clicked her tongue. “Mm, afraid not. Unless you’d like to share a room.”

Hokey Pokey coughed, his cheeks turning bright red. “No, no. That’s fine. Thank you.”

“What’s going on?” Chrysalis asked.

“Um… well, your room is right next to mine.”

“They’re attached, too,” the clerk helpfully added with a gleeful smirk.

“Oh, funny.” Chrysalis scoffed. “C’mon. I’m too tired to fight, and I want to get out of this dress, so despite what Miss—” she squinted to read the receptionist’s nametag— “Polomare thinks, nothing is going to happen. Let’s go.”

Hokey Pokey was quick to follow, and the two said nothing about the incident as they made their way to their rooms. Once there, Pokey was quick to produce the spare set of clothing he’d promised earlier, and Chrysalis took them with thanks.

The room itself was not much different from any other hotel room she’d ever been in, so she immediately moved to the bathroom and began to undo her hair. Manipulating Hokey Pokey was just too easy, and now, she had a chance to start again on her rather messed up life.

Maybe this time she could manage not to fall for a gaslighting, manipulative jerk.

Still, she was somewhat grateful she had met Hokey Pokey now, and she would have to leave him a thank you note before leaving in a few hours. It would be for the best if he didn’t know where she had gone, and the theft of his clothes could be offset by this horridly uncomfortable dress she was going to leave behind.

Once her hair had been liberated, she somehow managed to peel herself out of her eveningwear, and she took her time in  the shower to wash away the last remnants of Sombra. The bed itself was surprisingly soft, and another hum of contentment came as the pillowy bliss added to the comfort she felt while wrapped up in Hokey Pokey’s clothes. 

She would never admit it, but a part of her was going to miss him.





“Bluebelle? Are you awake?”

Chrysalis groaned and flopped onto her stomach, despite the sharp knocks on the door. She just needed five more minutes…

“It’s past check-out time, and I need to get out. They’re going to charge me for another day if you don’t.”

“Mmungh?” she moaned, and she twisted to look at the alarm clock on the endstand. It couldn’t be any later than seven, could it?

She bolted upright once the digital digits came into focus. “Twelve thirty?!” she sprinted to the counter, grabbed her effects, and marched to the door. So much for her grand escape plan! She’d only intended to sleep for three or four hours!

“About time,” Hokey Pokey snarked when she emerged, and she glared daggers at him. “Nice hair. Did a rat make a nest up there?”

“Shut up,” she mumbled. “Help me find a restroom, will you? I’ve got to stuff myself back in this dress and give your clothes back.” Even though I don’t really want to. They’re nice and soft.

“There should be some in the lobby, but I had a different idea.”

“This ought to be good,” she grumbled. 

“You said you’re from Canterlot, right?”

“Yeah. So?”

“I’m heading there myself.” The pair walked towards the elevator as he continued. “So, if you’re okay with the idea, I was thinking I could take you with me.”

“You’re driving there?” she asked, and he nodded. “You’ll be on the road till this time tomorrow, at least.”

“I can handle it; I’m used to road trips. You don’t have to go with me, of course, but I thought you would like to get back to your friends and family, and I wasn’t sure if you had a way to get there.”

Chrysalis mulled the idea over. While she wasn’t a fan of returning to the site of her betrayal, it would be easier to start anew there rather than here, where Sombra could potentially find her. 

She took a moment to study Hokey Pokey’s face. There wasn’t any hint of ulterior motive or expectation of repayment; he genuinely and truly just wanted to help her out. Normally a goody two-shoes like him would make her nauseous, but there was something different about the whole thing this time.  

He was taking a risk by inviting her, too. While it was highly unlikely that he would do anything untoward, she could always say he had, and that would ruin his career and his life. 

“Are you sure that’s such a good idea?” she asked.

“Probably not.” He shrugged. 

Chrysalis huffed. Above all else, she wanted to put as much distance between herself and Sombra as possible. “Okay, sure. Why not? I’ll just sleep in the back seat.”

“If you’d like to.”

“Never mind.” Chrysalis slammed the door shut and wiggled into a comfortable position in the front passenger seat. “Up here is much better. I always sleep better up front anyway.”

“If that’s what you’d prefer.” Hokey Pokey shrugged, started the car, then made a show of putting his hands firmly at ten and two on the steering wheel. 

Chrysalis grinned. There was no doubt his hands would remain there for the entire trip, and the knowledge that he would respect her filled her with a joy she wanted to keep.

“Before we really get going, I want to stop and get some breakfast,” Pokey said as he guided the car to the exit. “Just something fast food-ish, so we can get going as soon as possible. Do you need me to stop at a store somewhere? For new clothes,” he clarified with her confused glance. 

“Maybe later. I rather like your shirt.” She hugged herself, with an effort to prop up her most valuable assets. Hokey Pokey was being nice, so he deserved a treat. “But if we’re going to be on the road forever, I want to find somewhere that has some crossword puzzle books. I’m gonna need something to do.”

“Easy enough.”

“Hey, hold on. Pull up to that garbage can over there.”

Pokey did so, but with a confused look. Chrysalis unrolled her window, pulled her pack of cigarettes out of her clutch, and held them up for a brief moment before pitching them in. 

“I did say I would give them up for you,” she said. “And I’ve heard they’re bad for me, after all.”

Hokey Pokey chuckled. “Bluebelle, I think you and I have an interesting adventure ahead of us.”

“I certainly hope so,” she purred with delight.




> 11. - Velvet Midnight
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✹ * * 


Lieutenant Velvet Midnight was quite pleased with herself. 

Of course, she couldn’t take full credit for the day’s success. The Eternal Meddlers of the Day and Night may have ‘suggested’ that the Captain of the Guard should be tolerant and accepting of thestral customs and traditions, so it was fairly easy to secure the concessions Velvet wanted for her bat ponies. It also helped that she wasn’t asking for anything extreme. Her requests for new lunar armor and accommodations for thestral sleeping habits were easy enough to accept. 

And, in return, she was willing to give a little back to the Captain. Professionally, that is.

“So, how many thestrals would you like to have available for active duty, sir?” she asked, lobbing the question in as naturally as she could. She had practiced the phrasing for long hours to get just the right inflection, not too arrogant and not too subservient. Just a polite peer-to-peer exchange between military equals, nothing more, nothing less.

Captain Armor leaned back in his chair and mulled the question over for a moment. “I would like to double the number here in Canterlot for starters. I want to start sending thestral night patrols out into the city while maintaining a strong presence here in the palace proper. Will that put too much of a strain on the available horsepower?”

Lieutenant Midnight shook her head. “I had planned on using reserve units to fulfill Princess Luna and Princess Celestia’s request to send thestrals out into Equestria, sir. I can send them out on two week assignments, then rotate them into Palace detail.”

“I’ll leave you to handle that, then. The night is yours. Just keep me in the loop.”

“As always, sir.” 

Captain Armor nodded. “Have you selected anypony for Prince Bean’s escort?”

And this was where the exchange could get dicey. She wasn’t scheming against the diarchy, although it could easily be seen that way. There was dire need for intelligence on which way to jump in the next few months, and the best way to get that knowledge was by direct observation. “With your permission, sir, I would like to take the post myself, for the time being.”

One eyebrow slid up. “Oh? That seems to be overgunning the position, putting a prime administrator into a simple guarding assignment. Besides, aren’t you a bit busy with everything that needs to be done for your enclave?”

“It would be a temporary posting, sir. Just until I can settle on an ideal candidate. I believe I can handle my administrative tasks on top of standing still in a hallway.”

“All right,” he said with a shrug. “Until I hear otherwise, you’re on Beanwatch.”

Velvet Midnight was fully aware of all the different ways subordinates tried to hide when things were going sideways, and Shining Armor had several subtle reactions that raised a note of concern in Velvet’s ongoing plans. “Are you worried, Captain?” she inquired, choosing to be direct. Sometimes, subtle hints deserved a good sledgehammer to the face in order to get some answers. 

“Not… so much,” admitted Shining Armor. “Princess Celestia has been under a lot of strain lately, and I’d like to keep things quiet for all our sakes. Bean’s been a great help in that regard, but still.  Try not to pull rank on poor Sergeants Hokey Pokey and Clover Leaf too much, will you? Pokey especially. He’s already got Chrysalis breathing down his neck. Literally.”

“I will never understand what those two see in each other, sir. But I’ll behave and let them keep tactical control while I’m with them. I’m just an observer, nothing more.”

“Didn’t I just say play nice?” Captain Armor said with a sly smirk. “You know as well as anypony how badly a ‘simple observer’ stresses out the enlisted troops.”

“I promise to be as calm and peaceful as Mare’s Night Out at Trigger’s bar, sir. Cross my heart, hope to fly, put a cupcake in my eye,” Lieutenant Midnight smarmed back.

“Fine. Anything else we need to discuss? Cady has an appointment with Doctor Horsenpfeffer in a few minutes, so make it quick.”

“One last thing, sir. I’d like to request a small addition to the lunar guard’s approved uniform.”

“And that is?”

“Sunglasses, sir. Given that we are nocturnal, and that our eyes are adapted to low light environments, having thestrals out in that horribly bright sun will put quite the strain on them.”

Captain Armor adopted a playful, dubious look. “Funny, you’ve never mentioned this problem to me in the past. Is that nasty ol’ sun really so bad all of a sudden, or do I detect some vanity at play?”

“C’mon, Cap’n. You gotta admit, we thestrals look twenty percent cooler in shades.” Velvet Midnight bobbed her eyebrows. “Besides, it’s traditional.”

“My left hock it is,” Shining snorted, but then he glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. “I should make you come up with a better excuse than that, but I’m over a barrel here. Request granted, but keep them simple and tasteful.”

“Of course, sir. Thank you, sir. That’s all I have for now.”

“Good. Touch base with me in a week.” Shining stood and escorted the Lieutenant out of his office.

“Yes, sir. Please let me know how Princess Cadence is doing, if you don’t mind. There’s been a surprising amount of interest from the enclave about the Crystal Empire. You really don’t want to know about the groupies. Or the fanfiction. There’s at least a dozen of us who are ready to move there at the drop of a hat.”

“It'll probably be a normal, boring prenatal checkup, but I’ll let you know. Dismissed, Lieutenant.”

“Sir.” Velvet Midnight saluted, then turned towards the kitchen. Odds were Prince Bean would be there, and if not, she could order lunch all the same, then resume her search after a hearty meal.

Being the mayor of the batpony enclave and a full-time Lieutenant burned a lot of calories, after all. 

Velvet Midnight was actually looking forward to sitting down with the Prince for his requested interview, and she idly wondered what questions he might have for her in return. They would mirror those of the general population, most likely, and the fact that Baked Bean was the one asking would only drive up interest more. Interest would then lead to understanding, and thus, would greatly aid everypony in adjusting to one another. He was in a critical position, despite his relatively ordinary nature, and from Shining Armor’s concern about Princess Celestia, he might not be holding his own in the marriage quite as well as one might hope. 

That could be a disaster, both for Equestria in general and her people in specific. 

Understanding and acceptance from everypony would be the greatest challenges of the whole reintegration process, in her estimation.   

“Excuse me, but are you allowed to be here?” A surly voice cut into her musings, and she turned to the intruder with a diplomatic smile.

It was a pony who Velvet had been looking forward to meeting for a long time, perhaps even getting her autograph after a performance, but she was determined to ‘play it cool’ in respect to both of their positions. “I am, Miss Lulamoon. Can I help you with something?”

The surprised secretary took a wary step back. “How do you know Trixie’s name?”

“Please. How would I not know of the legendary exploits of the Great and Powerful Trixie? You are a living legend amongst my kin.”

The Ever-Humble and Totally Not Self-Absorbed Trixie visibly swelled with pride. “Really? Trixie does not remember visiting your village.”

Okay, so Velvet was stretching the truth just a tad, but she wasn’t going to admit to it. If Trixie was well-known, it was because of her numerous defeats to Princess Twilight Sparkle. “Ah, but we’ve heard of you all the same. Element of Pride, Defeater of Tirek, and the exclusive secretary to Prince Baked Bean? Why, it’s a crime if a pony does not know of you!”

And a little butter to grease the wheels of bureaucracy never hurts. Trixie should be able to point me in Prince Bean’s direction.

Trixie beamed with delight, and polished a hoof on her chest. “Well, naturally. Trixie is a very important pony, after all.”

“And if you really believe all that, I have a bridge to sell you,” a third voice cut in. “Cutting it a bit thick, aren’t we Miss Midnight?”

Velvet Midnight was all smiles as Discord slithered out of a nearby stained-glass window. “And good morning to you. It’s nice to see you again.”

Trixie was obviously upset, and kept looking between Discord and Velvet like she expected to see a string. “You two have met?”

“Once,” Velvet replied. “Discord dropped in when he was first released from stone and thought it would be hilarious to send a plague of flying vampire fruit at us. We were a bit startled when our mangoes grew fangs and tried to attack us, but in the end, my enclave loved chasing down the succulent little morsels, and it was oh-so delightful when they’d scream in agony as we bit into them.”

Trixie looked horrified, but Discord merely huffed, “I should have known better. I’ll just have to try harder when I visit next.”

“I sincerely hope you do. Is there something we can do for you?”

“My dear Lieutenant, the real question is what can moi do for vous?” Discord slithered over and threw a paw over Velvet’s withers. “The return of the thestrals should be wonderfully chaotic, so I’m willing to grant a favor in advance, as a show of goodwill.” Under his breath, he added, “And because Bean-o and Fluttershy say I should be nice.”

“Really? That’s quite generous of you. I’ll have to think it over. I promise I won’t ask for anything too boring.” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be at tea with Fluttershy and the Prince?” Trixie interrupted, flipping through the pages on her clipboard. “That’s what the schedule says.”

“Schedules,” scoffed Discord with a sharp glance at the clipboard where the various words and letters had begun to fight among themselves. “Boor-ring! I was just on my way there when a thought occurred to me.”

Discord reached inside his vest, rummaged around for a moment, and came out with a small cloud upon which was written ‘A Thought.’ He presented it to Velvet with a flourish. “Normally they're a penny, but this one is free. Anyway, I just had to stop by and check on Bean-o’s new guard first. It would be simply awkward if there was some sort of misunderstanding.”

“Why would that happen?” Velvet asked. “My thestral troops have kept me informed of what goes on here. I know all about your unique relationship with the Prince and Princess.”

“One can never be too careful,” Discord replied. He lowered his voice, looked up and down the corridor, then whispered from behind his paw. “Especially since the clown cake incident.”

Trixie shuddered. “That was not a happy clown.” 

“But since we’ve come to an understanding, I’ll be on my way.” Discord announced. “Don’t do anything too crazy while I’m gone. I’d hate to miss it. Oh! One last thing. I hear you’ve been approved for an addition to your official uniform. Consider this as a gift from me to you, in recognition of the return of your enclave.” 

With a snap, the Lord of Chaos produced a reflective light purple visor that wrapped around a pony's eyes, providing protection from flying projectiles and solar rays. Velvet took the offering with a pleased expression, and looked it over carefully. “It’s like you read my mind, Discord. I’ll make sure every night guard gets a pair.”

And with that, Discord imploded into a pinprick of nothingness with a cheerful laugh.

“Trixie will never get used to that,” Trixie murmured, and she gave Velvet a curious glance as the Lieutenant tucked Discord's gift into her saddlebag. “And what did you mean that your guards keep you in the loop? Trixie has never met a thestral before.”


“Sure you have.” Velvet produced a pair of round, stylish sunglasses, slid them on, and took in her reflection in the stained glass window that Discord had emerged from. She definitely liked what she saw. “You’ve met Private Lemon Tart, after all.”

“Private Tart is a thestral?” Trixie recoiled. “She can’t be! She’s a pegasus!”

“All thestrals are pegasi,” Velvet countered. “Just like all kirin are unicorns.”

“Who?”

“Never mind. Point is, Private Tart looks like a regular solar guard thanks to the look-alike enchantment of her armor. Trust me, she’s been dying to switch to her lunar attire. Isn’t that right, Private?”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself, ma’am,” the private in question replied, and Trixie yelped in surprise. “In fact, I’ve already changed.”

“You really need to quit doing that to Trixie.” Trixie drew in a deep breath, and glanced over Private Lemon Tart’s new look. Lemon’s face was still familiar, but now her eyes glittered with a golden hue, her coat was a soft shade of dark gray, and her wings had a hint of green along their trailing edge. The gleaming dark purple armor of the night guard completed the look, but it was still a strange sight for the secretary. “This is going to take some getting used to,” she continued, her eyes drifting over her escort’s extended leathery bat wings and lingering for a moment. 

“I certainly hope not. Private Lemon Tart is still the same pony she’s always been, after all.” Velvet passed over Discord’s reflective sunglasses for Lemon to try on. “Just… pointy-er. And shinier now.” 

“I, for one, am glad that the thestrals are able to be themselves,” Princess Celestia agreed from behind them, prompting a quick bow from Velvet, but not Trixie.

Inwardly, Velvet chided herself for allowing Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to sneak up on her. A Royal Guard was never surprised, and as a lieutenant, she was supposed to set an example for the troops. Granted, it was difficult to keep ahead of royals—Luna especially, given her skills with shadows and darkness—but that was the job, after all.

“As am I,” Princess Luna added. “My Soldiers of the Night should never be ashamed of who they are, nor should they ever feel compelled to hide it. They will now stand before Equestria in their appointed place, strong and proud.”

“Good morning, Your Highnesses,” Velvet offered, catching sight of a small wiggling colt in Celestia’s neck-mounted foal carrier. The infant prince was bright-eyed and alert, looking like he’d been stuffed full of sugar and energy, barely restrained within his carrier. “A pleasure to see you both again, as always. And it appears I am to be graced with the presence of Prince Apollo today, as well! This is an honor.”

“I certainly hope you’re not going to do that every time you see Us,” Celestia quipped with a mischievous look. “Our interactions are going to be quite frequent for some time, I believe. It will be quite repetitive if you keep bowing and groveling.”

“Ah, so that’s why Miss Lulamoon can get away without offering due deference.” Velvet met Celestia’s gaze with a smirk. She paused briefly as she noticed the ill-hidden dark circles under Princess Celestia’s eyes. From a distance, the makeup she wore would hide the darkness, but up close, the coverage was not adequate. “Perhaps I will be as relaxed as she is in your presence, with time.”

“I understand you’ve nominated yourself to guard my husband,” Celestia went on. Velvet noted the slight hint of weakness in the diarch’s voice as the foursome fell into step together and progressed down the corridor, but she said nothing of it. “An interesting selection.”

“I wonder who told you that?” Velvet joked. She was not surprised when Discord’s head popped out of a nearby vase. 

“Guilty!” he sang, giving Apollo a quick pat on the head before vanishing once more.  

“We presume this is a temporary appointment until you can assess the situation and select the appropriate thestral?” Luna asked in a fashion that most certainly was not a question. 

Velvet nodded. “I should have a final decision in short order, ma’am.”

“Provided the task will not interfere with your other duties, We approve,” Luna proclaimed, but with a concerned glance to Celestia, who nodded.

“Thank you, ma’am. Having the full support of the Diarchy will be most helpful.”

“My husband will be away for another hour or so, but he is eager to meet with you,” informed Celestia. “In the meantime, there are a few things We would like to discuss with you, if you can spare the time.”

“Of course.” Velvet said, musing that there wasn’t a pony in Equestria who would not spare time to talk with any Princess.

“Excellent,” said Luna. “My sister and I wish to begin the integration process immediately. There is much to accomplish.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


Velvet Midnight was feeling quite pleased, indeed.

She had expected Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to be very accommodating to her thestrals, but not to the degree that had just been exhibited in their impromptu meeting. The Diarchs of Equestria were willing to move the sun and the moon—in a figurative way—to make the transition easier, and the long-hidden bat ponies were to receive every possible accommodation one could think of, and many that she hadn’t. 

As things stood now, all the thestrals had to do was ask, and it would be given. 

But the enclave would not abuse that generosity. Princess Celestia had respected their wishes and desires for a thousand years, and for that, the thestrals were deeply and eternally grateful. They would, individually and without any prompting, keep their requests simple, straightforward, and with as little inconvenience to others as possible.

It was the least they could do, particularly with as much strain as the princess was under lately.

Velvet began to whistle a pleasant tune to herself, and she glanced over the air carriages in the main hangar of the palace. Prince Baked Bean was due to arrive back at any moment, and after such a good day, she was eager to sit down with the Prince, answer his questions, and keep the good feeling going.

Her pleased grin grew into a full smile when she glanced over at Trixie and Private Lemon Tart, who were chatting about Tart’s life in the enclave. From the sound of it, Trixie wanted to bring her awe-inspiring and death-defying magic show to the batponies, since they were an audience she was unfamiliar with, and, more importantly, an audience that was unaware of the more dubious parts of her past.

It was an avenue for further rehabilitation of her image, and she was going to exploit it for all it was worth.

“Looks like your bats are starting to befriend the locals already,” a chaotic voice offered from her left.

“And I’m very grateful for that.” Velvet turned to Discord and dipped her head. “I take it teatime is over?”

“Sadly, but only because we ran out of tea cakes and scones. Bean-o promised to make more for me.” Discord popped open the carpetbag he was holding, then rummaged through it with his paw. “I think I left a Baked Bean in here somewhere. Let me see, let me see…”

The Lord of Chaos stuck his tongue out slightly as he rustled, clanked, and honked whatever was in his bag. “I thought I left him over by the radishes. Bean?” Discord withdrew his paw, and recoiled slightly when he found he was holding one changeling queen by the nape of her neck, instead of one yellow stallion.

“DISCORD!” Chrysalis hissed sharply. “What are you doing?!”

“Wrong pocket!” Discord stuffed Chrysalis back in the bag quickly, then rummaged around more. “I really must clean this out sometime. It’s impossible to find anything with all of those old receipts and breath mint containers in here. Bean?” He withdrew his paw again, and jingled the set of keys he was holding. “I’ve been looking for those.” He tossed them back in, and resumed his search. “Bean?” He withdrew a can of baked beans, which he tossed over shoulder. “Closer, but still no. He's in here somewhere, I know he is. This is ridiculous. No, no, no. That’s a Hokey Pokey,” he muttered as he pulled said guard out and put him down. “And that… Yes, that should be a Clover Leaf.” He put Clover down next to Hokey, and the pair exchanged eyerolls as Discord stuck his head in the bag. “Bean! You and I are going to have a talk if you’ve gotten into my perfume!”

There was some sort of muffled response from inside, and the bag jerked slightly. 

“Oh, for the love of Fluttershy, what are you doing over there?” Discord put both of his arms in, and tsk’ed as he finally produced the prince. “Didn’t I tell you not to snoop?”

“Hey, it’s not every day that I get to explore a bottomless bag,” Prince Bean retorted, flicking away some stray papers from his barrel and withers. “Do I want to know about the—”

“No, you do not. Trust me. Besides, the good Lieutenant Mayor here has been waiting for you.”

“Lieutenant Velvet Midnight, Your Highness.” Velvet spread her wings and bowed in deference. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Oh!” Prince Bean practically squeaked in delight. “Good afternoon, Lieutenant! The pleasure is mine. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.”

“I am at your disposal, my Prince.” Velvet straightened, and nodded to Bean’s guard detail. “Sergeants.”

“Ma’am!” Both saluted crisply.

“At ease. I’m eager to speak with you as well, Your Highness.”

“I’ll stop by later for those tea cakes, Bean-o,” Discord interrupted. “I can see this will take awhile.”

“Thanks for the ride back, Discord,” Prince Bean said. “We're still on for next Tuesday?”

“Count on it. Toodles!” 

Discord disappeared in a puff of smoke, and the prince began bouncing on the tips of his hooves like a foal waiting to dive into Hearth’s Warming presents. “So, Lieutenant, do you have some time to speak with me? Or would it be better to schedule a later time? I’m sure you must be busy with your duties as Mayor and a Lieutenant in the guard.”

“I am free now, Your Highness. With your permission, I would like to join your guard detail until I can determine which thestral should be assigned to you. And don’t look so worried, Sergeants,” she added, looking at Prince Bean’s loyal guards. “I’m just along for the ride.”

“That’s what they always say,” Clover murmured. “Ma’am.”

“I’ll go over the specifics with you two later. My Prince, do I have your permission?”

“Of course! You’re welcome to join the party whenever you want, and I’ll understand if you need to step away to take care of other matters.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

“But one thing,” he said as they began to walk. “I’m too short for that Highness stuff. Just ‘sir’ is fine.”

“Of course, Sir.”

“Let’s head to the nursery first. I want to check in with Celly; make sure she and Apollo don’t need anything.”

“After you, Sir.”

It only took a moment for the Prince to find his wife and to verify that all was well before Apollo was left to Banana Split’s excellent care. Obviously, Princess Celestia wanted to listen in on Prince Bean’s questions and to add her insights if needed, yet she gave her son a longing look over her flanks as they left the nursery. It was as if Princess Celestia was afraid this was all a dream, and she was going to wake up at any moment.

The party proceeded to Princess Celestia’s drawing room, and Velvet made sure to thank the royal couple for their kindness as they all settled in on the plush velvet pillows that awaited royal and mayoral posteriors.


“So, you’re both the mayor of the thestral enclave and a lieutenant in the guard?” Bean wasted no time, and Velvet chuckled slightly at his enthusiasm.

“Yes, sir. I assure you that I am quite capable of handling both responsibilities.”

“How long have you been the Mayor? Forgive me if this is a bit insensitive, but you look like you’re about the same age as me.”

“I am, and I have been the Mayor for a few years,” responded Velvet. “I took over the position when my mother decided to retire.”

“Really?” Prince Bean produced a notebook, took a well-chewed pencil in his mouth (eliciting a small annoyed sigh from his wife), and flipped to a blank page. “Is the mayor position a matrilineal primogeniture, then?”

“Yes and no.” This was an interesting way to start, but it pleased Velvet greatly. If he was asking intelligent questions that were this in-depth right at the beginning, then his inquiries were sure to be exceptionally informative to any future readers. “The position of mayor is an elected position, but no one outside of my family has ever attempted to run. I don’t know how it ended up like that, to be honest. So, every six years, we have an election just to formalize everything, but my family has held the position since the beginning of our exile, to the best of my knowledge.”

Bean scribbled furiously. “Do all of the batponies live in the enclave?”

“Apart from those currently serving in the royal guard and a few on distant sentinel duty, all thestrals live in the enclave at the moment. With Princess Luna’s summons, I don’t expect that to continue. My thestrals have been all excited about getting out and ‘spreading their wings,’ so to say.”

Bean glanced at Celestia in confusion. “There’s thestrals in the royal guard? Who?”

“Private Lemon Tart would be the only one that you have directly met,” Celestia clarified. “Apart from her, there’s about a dozen. Prior to now, they were all under the look-alike enchantment that made them appear to be regular solar guards, but beginning tonight, they will appear as they truly are, and in their lunar armor.”

“That’s so cool! I’d like to meet them, if I can.”

“I’ll make the arrangements, Sir,” Velvet said with a nod. “They will be pleased to meet you as well.”

For the next hour, Lieutenant Velvet cheerfully answered all of Prince Bean’s questions. He was surprisingly thorough with his inquiries, asking about history, culture, significant holidays, and even mundane things like favorite meals. He was also quick to ask follow up questions when something confused him, and Velvet appreciated his thoughtfulness.

However, Velvet also sensed an undercurrent of tension that seemed to grow as the session continued. She couldn’t be quite sure, but it seemed like Princess Celestia was, perhaps, a bit put out and annoyed. There wasn’t really a reason for the daytime diarch to be so, and her overt body language indicated that she was simply listening as Bean directed all of his questions to Velvet. 

But therein was why Velvet thought something was amiss. Princess Celestia was not one to snort or paw at the ground when irked like Princess Luna was wont to do. Rather, the elder sister typically signaled her displeasure by doing nothing at all, an extremely unusual state for the mare who was, figuratively and literally, involved with nearly everything under her sun.

It was definitely something she would ask Sergeants Hokey Pokey and Clover Leaf about later.

Once all of Prince Bean’s questions had been covered, both prince and princess thanked Velvet for her insights, and she was excused while Bean went on to pepper his wife with questions about what she remembered about thestrals and when they had banished themselves. Velvet took in a deep breath, glanced at the sergeants standing watch on either side of the closed door, and nodded to them after they saluted.

“At ease,” Velvet ordered. “Let’s discuss my role for Beanwatch, shall we?”

“Yes ma’am,” Hokey and Clover answered.

“I’ve discussed this with Captain Armor, and we agree that I will be a simple observer. Tactical control will remain with you, since I’ll come and go as needed for other things. While with you, I’ll follow your lead, and unless I need to, I won’t override your orders. Just pretend like I’m not here, and don’t worry about me reporting back to the Captain about your every move and decision. He trusts you, and so do I.”

“Understood, ma’am.”

“Good. Now, I’ve got some time before I need to go make sure my thestrals are ready to take their first night watch. Fill me in on the finer points of foalsitting Prince Bean.”

Sergeant Pokey glanced at Sergeant Leaf, and they shared a knowing look. “How long do you have, ma’am? This could take awhile.”

“As long as needed, Sergeants.” Velvet’s smile grew thin. “Then we need to discuss what’s bothering Princess Celestia, and what we can do to help.”


 * *  ✹ * * 

> 12. - The Museum
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Good afternoon, Your Highness. Please, come in.”

Princess Celestia gave a nod and a thin smile to her therapist as she entered the doctor’s modest office. “I’m not late, am I, Doctor Cheerilee? I’m afraid things have gotten rather busy in Canterlot with the return of the thestrals, and I lost track of time.”

“Not at all, Your Highness. Make yourself comfortable. You’re actually a bit early today.”

“Good. I admit I…” Celestia hesitated, sat on the offered chaise lounge, and drew in a deep breath. “This past week has been rather eventful, and I’ve been eager to speak with you about what has been going on.”

“Oh?” Cheerilee sat in her plush office chair, then began to pour tea for the two of them from the waiting set. “I imagine you’ve been under a lot of stress. I’m happy to discuss whatever you’d like to talk about. Would you care for some tea?”

“Yes please,” Celestia said, watching as Cheerilee finished preparing the tea. There was some comfort in the familiar clinks of the porcelain as the good doctor steeped the camomille, which she knew was Celestia’s favorite blend. It spoke to the information that had been shared between the two in the therapy sessions, a thought that was both comforting and a little disturbing. 

The only other ponies who knew Celestia so well were Baked Bean and Luna, with Twilight Sparkle and Cadance not far behind.

Once her cup had been prepared, she took it with thanks, savored a sip, and then took a moment to enjoy the calming scents wafting off the steam. 

“Before we begin, I would like to follow up on the medical side of your treatment. Do you feel like the hormone shots are making a difference at all?”

“Something better, yes. But not as much as I’d like.”

Cheerliee nodded and wrote that on a notebook on her desk. “Can you elaborate on that? It’s fine if not.”

“That’s one reason why I’ve wanted to discuss things with you. My feelings have been…” Celestia trailed off again. “They have been confusing to me, I confess.”

“That’s perfectly normal. Our feelings and emotions can be muddled by the stress of life, and when that is added on to postpartum depression, it’s all the easier to feel twisted around emotionally. We have all afternoon, so there’s no rush. Start wherever you’d like, when you’re ready.”

Celestia took another long sip of her tea, then drew in a deep breath to steel herself, and released it slowly. “I suppose the best place to begin would be a few days ago…”


 * *  ✹ * * 


Princess Celestia Bean was not a pony who could be easily surprised.

Over her lengthy lifetime, she had seen and heard things that others couldn’t even begin to dream of, so even if she happened to encounter a new or unfamiliar situation, she had a deep well of experience to draw from to remain calm and even-tempered.

In reality, Celestia had found that most situations could be handled in one of a set number of ways. Solutions to problems were quite often the same, irrespective of the particular issue.

But there was nothing that could have prepared her for the challenges that had come with her firstborn, so her visits with Doctor Horsenpfeffer were providing many new learning experiences. 

Even if she didn’t particularly want them.

This current checkup was providing a prime example. Celestia had been ushered into the private exam room at her scheduled appointment time, and the good doctor had walked in shortly thereafter, holding a clipboard and several large needles with her magic.

“Good morning, Your Highness. How are you feeling?” Horsenpfeffer asked kindly, yet with a serious look. 

“I’m afraid I haven’t felt much different,” Celestia answered with a frown. “I was hoping the hormone treatments would have had some effect by now.”

“I think this batch should help with that. It can be difficult to get the dosage dialed in just right with any pony, and since you’re an alicorn, that adds a few layers of complexity. Left flank or right today?”

Celestia winced. “Right. My left flank is still sore from last time.”

“I get that this is rather unpleasant, but bear with me. Look forward, please.” Horsenpfeffer removed the protective cap on the first needle, and inspected it before moving to the side of Celestia’s right flank. “How are your therapy sessions with Doctor Cheerilee going?”

“They’ve been interesting. We’ve mostly talked about emotions, and recognizing how to OW!” It took every last ounce of willpower to keep Celestia from shooting through the ceiling. Literally. 

“Two more,” Horsenpfeffer stated, pulling the first needle out. “Do you feel your time with Doctor Cheerilee has been fruitful?”

“For the most part, yes. She has given me some things to think abouOW!” she yelped, giving her medical provider a furious glare. There was a vacancy on the moon at the moment…

“One more, and then you can smite me. For the record, I don’t like administering shots this way. But you tense up when you see needles, and once you do that, it’s impossible to get anything past your skin.”

“They certainly OW! aren’t my favorite.” Celestia rubbed her sore rump as the purveyor of pain disposed of the syringes. “But if it will help me feel like myself again, then I’ll endure it.”

“Good to hear. I’ll draw some blood at your next visit and we’ll see what your hormone levels look like. If they’re good, we should be able to start tapering off the shots as your body resumes its normal balance. In the meantime, keep visiting with Doctor Cheerilee. She’s been in touch with me, and she thinks you’re making good progress.”

“My sessions with her have been… Well, interesting, I suppose. She has not told me anything I don’t already know, but having her tell me feels like a friendly reminder.”

“I expected that, given your unique age and life experiences. But reminders never hurt anyone, and who knows? Perhaps she’ll surprise you with a nugget of wisdom that you haven’t heard yet.”

Celestia nodded. “I certainly wouldn’t mind that.”

“That’s everything I have for you for today. Here you go.” Horsenpfeffer presented a lollipop to Celestia, who promptly unwrapped it, popped it in her mouth, and ate it, stick and all, with a few quick crunches. “I’ll see you next week.”

Celestia stood and left the exam room with no further comment, eager to get away lest Horsenpfeffer decided she needed to administer another shot. She was out of the infirmary in a few quick strides, and she sent out a quick location spell to find her husband. 

She was not surprised when the spell revealed he was in the kitchen. It was near lunchtime, and Bean was probably preparing a meal, or at least as much as Chef Beet would permit for the both of them. Celestia suspected that Beet was concerned about her own employment status, since if Bean cooked too much, some stuffy bureaucrat could decide there were too many chefs in the kitchen, as it were, and eliminate the excess in the name of the budget.

Opting to teleport, Celestia’s magic worked quickly, and she felt a small tingle of delight when Bean smiled at her over his steamy pots and pans.

“So, did you banish Horsenpfeffer yet?” he quipped. 

“No, but she’s on thin ice,” Celestia grumbled, again rubbing her flank. “I still don’t understand why the treatment requires three shots. They hurt.”

“I bet. Those needles looked huge. How hungry are you?”

“Somewhat.” Celestia sniffed the air, and a rush of tempting flavors tickled her nose. “Let me see. You are making…” She took several long sniffs over Bean’s cooking. “Ah. Falafel, miso sesame couscous, cashew broccoli, spiced tahini, micro cilantro, hummus, and pita strips.”

“Very impressive,” Bean praised with a slight smile. “You’re turning into quite the Bean. With a bit more training, you could probably sniff out things better than I can.”

“I doubt that,” she said, enjoying the aroma of fine cooking. “I can only identify the main components of the dish. I’m not able to pick out individual ingredients, like you can.”

“You’re not too far off, though. You’ve definitely developed the Bean nose for food.”

“Well, since I am officially Celestia Bean, it seems I should live up to the family tradition. Is Apollo with Mama Nana?”

“Yeah. He was asleep when I left to get this cooked up. He’ll probably need to be fed when he wakes up, though.”

Celestia’s shoulders dropped slightly, and she sighed resignedly, “Most likely. I will tend to his needs at that time.”

Bean nodded, removing his cooking from the stovetop. He began to plate his creation. “This is ready, if you are.”

“I might as well eat now,” she grumbled. “We’re not going to have time to eat later, between Apollo and our scheduled appointment at the museum.”

“We can cancel that, if you’d prefer,” Bean offered. “We don’t have to start your biography right this instant.”

“No, I believe it would be for the best to continue. I have already lost many memories over the years. We need not tour the entire collection of artifacts today, but we should get some notes started.”

“I’m actually really curious about what we’ll see.” Bean presented his newest masterpiece, and Celestia took a moment to appreciate the sight and the smell of the meal. “The curator said the museum had some new Unification era artifacts on display, right?”

Celestia nodded, moving alongside her husband from the kitchen to the dining hall. “Yes, but I very much doubt that Dusty Manuscript has anything that is actually new. Most likely, Canterlot University has merely rotated the pieces they already have in their collection, or they borrowed something from here in the palace.”

“Hey, you never know. Maybe they found one of your old shoes or something,” Bean jested.

“If it is a new item, then I would guess that, as well. But that would also mean that somepony has been snooping around in the Castle of the Two Sisters, and I’ll have to remind them of how dangerous my old home is.”

“Oh, I don’t know. A little paint, a few throw pillows, and you could turn it into a nice bed and breakfast.”

Bean’s joke fell flat on its face in front of the Princess, and she simply frowned. “No. There are too many unpleasant memories there.”

“Understood,” he said worriedly.

Celestia nuzzled his cheek. “I’m sorry, Bean. I could have phrased that better. Come, let’s eat before the food gets cold, and then we can see for ourselves what the museum has to offer.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


The Museum of Equestrian History at Canterlot University was arguably the premier museum in the whole of Celestia’s domain, and even if it wasn’t, it was a close second.⁽*⁾ It would take a pony several days to absorb every trinket and bauble on display, and days more to get just the bare minimum of information about the history of each piece.

(*)Celestia’s hall closet came in around third, since it did not have enough space for visitors, was not indexed, and contained quite a few devices or artifacts which probably should never be revealed to ponykind. Ever.
—

Baked Bean had planned on touring the museum much sooner, but a certain nose boop had curtailed that ambition. So, he put serious effort into curbing his enthusiasm as the royal carriage came to a stop outside the main entrance, hoping he wouldn’t annoy his wife too much with his questions.

But questions there most definitely would be. He already had a dozen in his head, and they hadn’t even entered the building yet.

A fair number of ponies were present and waved to the royals as they stepped down, but Bean suspected they were there by happenstance; seeing Celestia was a bonus for the day. He took a moment to make sure Apollo was snoozing securely in the carrier around his neck, then glanced up to his wife.

The sight broke his heart a little. The Princess of the Day was all smiles and politeness for her subjects, her face the picture perfect mask of a cheerful ruler who was pleased to be among her little ponies. To the throng, she probably looked as radiant and graceful as she always did, the grand eternal anchor for the world to admire and revere.

But to him, who knew her as wife and mother, the cracks in the facade were all too obvious. Bean could see how her cheek muscles strained to pull—and hold—her lips into a smile they did not want to be in, the fine lines in the corners of her eyes that always came when her efforts were forced instead of natural. She was trying so hard to keep up appearances, even though everypony knew she was struggling with postpartum depression. 

Then again, she had done so for a thousand years, through the best and the worst moments in Equestria’s history. Pretending to be happy was as natural as breathing to her, and she probably didn’t even realize she was doing it now.

His musings were interrupted by an elderly mare, who in her youth had been a vibrant pink but age had mixed in more than a few grey hairs. She walked up with an eagerness to her step, giving him a short bow and his wife a far deeper bow which quite nearly brought one knee to the cool marble floor.

“Missus Manuscript, it’s a pleasure to see you again,” Celestia greeted, perfectly diplomatic. 

“The pleasure is all mine, Princess Celestia,” Dusty Manuscript replied with a welcoming smile. “And I must thank you again for visiting today. I am at your disposal for the duration of your visit.” Dusty then turned to the two princes, giving the younger of them a very grandmotherly look of adoration before shifting her attention to the father. “Prince Bean, I would love to get your opinion on the special exhibit I have in the auxiliary hall on the history of Salt Lick. We’ve been fortunate enough to receive several wonderful pieces on loan from many fine collections both in and near your hometown.”

This news pleased Bean greatly. “Really? I didn’t think Salt Lick had enough historical history worthy of your prestigious hall.”

“A few years ago, I decided I wanted to give our smaller towns and lesser known regions a chance to show their wonderfully unique and vibrant histories.” Dusty motioned to the front doors, and she continued to talk as they all moved toward the entrance. “Your marriage to Princess Celestia prompted me to select Salt Lick after we had finished with Barrelstown.”

“I hope whatever location was next didn’t mind being bumped,” he teased.

“I don’t have a set order, so no one got bumped. Right this way, Your Highnesses.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


It quickly became apparent that Baked Bean and Celestia were going to need to make many return trips to the museum.

The flood of information was, in a word, overwhelming. The Eternal Mare of the Day was tantalizingly familiar with each item on display, and Bean was quickly filling page after page of notes as his wife would recount an astonishing amount of history, context, and detail about everything, no matter how large or small it was.

And, naturally, Dusty Manuscript tailed along, surreptitiously taking notes of her own and noting what items needed to have their descriptions altered. Or thrown out entirely and rewritten.

Apollo, for his part, was trying to be helpful by laughing and giggling in his carrier, his hooves wiggling furiously whenever a sparkly trinket caught his eye. Though he couldn’t be quite sure, Bean half-thought that, once or twice, he saw a slight flare of golden yellow magic flash across his infant son’s horn when something really caught his attention.

After a few hours, the small group happened across a display covered by a velvet cloth. “Is this the new artifact you’ll be displaying, Missus Manuscript?” Bean asked.

“It is. It’s quite the curious piece, actually. I would greatly appreciate any information you can give me about it,” Dusty Manuscript admitted. “From the intricate markings and the rate of decomposition, I estimate it is actually from the end of the Pre-Unification Era. Most likely, it was created before your ascension to the throne of Equestria with Princess Luna.”

“Where did you find this item?”  

“An archeologist by the name of Dig Dug. He has a talent for finding old sites and treasures, and when he showed his latest find, I knew we had to have it here in our collection.”

“Did he say where he found this artifact?” Celestia asked, with just enough hidden concern to attract Bean’s attention.

“Somewhere near Baltimare or Manehattan, I think,” Dusty answered, completely missing Celestia’s darkening tone. 

“Celly?” The change in Celestia’s demeanor worried Bean just a bit. “What’s wrong?”

Dusty pulled the velvet cloth away, interrupting the reply. A golden peytral sat in the display, similar in appearance to his wife’s own neckwear, but the center of it held a brightly polished topaz set in the center of a stylized sun. Several smaller suns and moons of various types ran up each side, mirrored to each other as they went. On the back, there was a small, neat inscription in Old Equish that Bean couldn’t read.

It was quite interesting, but Bean completely forgot about that when he glanced up and saw Celestia’s growing  fury leaking out from behind the cool mask of control. 

It was a sight he hoped he’d never see again. Celestia was frozen in place, her eyes wide in horror and her whole body trembling slightly. Her body language screamed for her, and ever so slowly, she turned to the wilting curator. 

“I am acutely aware of the origin and history of this peytral.” Celestia’s tone was soft, but full of barely restrained rage. Bean checked the tips of her mane and tail for embers and smoke. “Where is Mister Dig Dug now? I must speak with him. Immediately.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


Baked Bean was worried.

True, this was nothing new, given his wife’s struggles with depression. Her apathy towards life and her son motivated him to do anything and everything possible to lift her spirits, and he had felt that his efforts were productive, to a small degree.

But this? 

Bean would almost rather take apathy over the silent rage Celestia was now exuding. He was genuinely concerned that Daybreaker might show up at any moment, and the worst part was that he didn’t even know why it was happening.

Bean took a moment to check on Apollo, who was currently sleeping in the baby carrier aboard the air carriage. Thankfully, the rushing wind and turbulence wasn’t keeping him awake, but he wasn’t going to stay out for long.

It had been hard enough to get him to go down for a nap in the first place. After Celestia’s unexpected reaction, the Princess of Day had teleported herself and her family back to the main hangar in the palace with an intense surge of magic. Sergeants Hokey Pokey and Clover Leaf had then been given a few brief moments to hitch themselves to the carriage, and once ready, Celestia had taken off with a furious flapping of wings…

Leaving him and Apollo behind.

Hokey Pokey and Clover Leaf had done their best to catch up, of course, but the effort was doomed to immediate failure. Laden as they were with carriage and passengers, the best they could hope to do was to keep Celestia visible as a pinprick against the horizon and hope to reach their destination before they passed out.

And that was to say nothing of poor Lieutenant Midnight, who was chasing them down like a bat out of Tartarus, since she was built for stealth and gliding instead of speed.

But onward Celestia went, so onward pressed the beleaguered party as best they could. Mile after mile slipped away as minutes turned to hours, leaving Bean little to do but sit, fret, and keep Apollo entertained since his nap was over and he wanted to get out and play.

Granted, his concerns were probably skewing his perception of time, but it sure felt like they had been aloft for many hours. 

Eventually, Bean noticed that Celestia had slowed, and she was rapidly descending. A quick glance over the side of the carriage showed a small hamlet in the distance, but it didn’t look familiar.

“Where are we?” he asked himself.

“Journey’s End, Sir.” Lieutenant Midnight had managed to catch up to the party with Celestia’s reduction in speed, but was clearly paying a steep price for the chase, given that her coat was slick with sweat and she was gasping in large gulps of air. “It’s one of the oldest earth pony cities in Equestria.”

“That peytral must have come from an archaeological site nearby,” Bean mused. “Hopefully we’ll get some answers here in a minute.” 

The landing was smooth, but Bean jumped out before they stopped and quickly trotted over to his wife. She had landed at a small wooden home on the edge of town, and was pounding on the front door with thunderous blows. 

“Celly?” he gently asked, putting a hoof on her shoulder.

The touch seemed to break her from an angry trance, and her features softened slightly. “Forgive me, Bean. I didn’t mean to...” She paused, glancing over the royal guards with a sheepish, concerned look while clearly gathering her thoughts. “That peytral was given to a dear friend of mine at the founding of Equestria. The only way it could have gotten to the museum is if it was exhumed from her grave.”

“You think this Dig Dug fellow is a grave robber?”

Celestia nodded. “Any potential archeological site must be approved by myself before any work can commence. There are certain places—like this one—that should remain undisturbed.”

Bean nodded. While he still had questions, her explanation at least gave him a foundation to start with, and more answers for him would come once Celly got the answers she was after.

After another round of knocks that nearly tore the door from the frame, a dingy gray stallion finally answered. He had a towel around his neck, his mane was loaded with suds, and he looked rather perturbed. Once he realized who his unexpected visitors were, however, he quickly offered a deep bow.

“Your Highnesses!” he yelped. “Forgive me! I didn’t realize—”

“You are Dig Dug, yes?” Celestia forcefully cut him off. 

“Yes?” he offered, swallowing hard.

“And you are currently excavating a burial ground without permission.”

“Your Highness, I assure you that I am following every letter of the law. I submitted all the paperwork for my site many moons ago.”

“Show me. Now.”

“Of course. Give me just a moment.” The accused moved back into his house, turned a corner, and disappeared from view. 

Celestia drew in a deep breath, in an apparent effort to keep from channeling her inner yak and smashing the home in front of her. 

Bean would have tried to comfort her, but Apollo had begun to fuss, so he moved to one side so he could take care of his son instead, incidentally shielding his young eyes from any possible upcoming violence.

Sergeants Hokey Pokey and Clover Leaf, despite still being out of breath, had unhitched themselves and, at Celestia’s nod, quickly trotted around to the rear of the house. There was a yelp, several loud crashing noises, then some shouting.

A few minutes later, Dig Dug was forcibly dragged back to Celestia by the two guards, despite his best effort to make a run for it out his back door. There was a faint sizzling noise, and he was shaking like a leaf when her magic snagged him and hoisted him up.

“Last chance,” threatened Celestia, tone flat like hot iron, as sparks began to flicker in her mane, leaving small wisps of smoke drifting in the breeze.  

“Okay, okay!” Dig Dug bawled. “I admit it! I don’t have any permits!”

Celestia snorted, a dark cloud of smoke rushing out of her nostrils. Without a word, she turned and marched towards a nearby grove of trees, dangling the protesting archeologist in front of her by a firm magical grip on his tail.

This time, Bean and the guards could keep up with her, albeit with a brisk trot. Bean carefully watched Celestia as she moved, ready to hold a hoof over his son’s eyes at any moment should his wife decide that violence was an answer for this particular situation.

This trip took less time to complete, a fact that clearly pleased the still panting guards. Unsurprisingly, Celestia was heading straight towards what looked like a cemetery, the ancient stone markers hedged in by a low stone wall and a small wrought iron gate. Celestia, despite her obvious rage, entered the grounds softly, her steps suddenly turning gentle and subdued.

Her pace was unabated, however, and with a few long strides she had crossed the silent tombs and reached the furthest—and what appeared to be the oldest—part of the cemetery. Here, the grave markers were nothing more than stones in the ground, some cracked and chipped, and all having lost whatever inscriptions they may have had to the ravages of time and erosion. 

Bean also noticed that, here and there, there were clear signs that somepony had been exhuming the graves. There were fresh mounds of upturned earth, and what looked like a haphazard attempt to hide what had happened with piles of leaves and loose grass over the mess. The frequency increased as they moved further in, and Bean realized that Dig Dug had been doing this for a long time.

In the far corner, next to an outer wall, was the grave that Celestia was aiming for. This grave, while still disturbed, had grass growing back, so it had probably been one of the first to be excavated. Celestia held Dig Dug over the spot, and shook him a little.

“You did this.” Her voice was short, sharp, and loaded with condemnation.

“Your Highness, please.” Dig Dug blubbered, looking like he would do anything to avoid a one way trip to the moon. “You have to admit that, after over a thousand years, this really can’t be considered grave robbing anymore. At worst, I'm only guilty of unauthorized excavation.”

“You have disturbed a site that is most sacred to me.” Celestia glared daggers at Dig Dug, and Bean was grateful that the phrase ‘if looks could kill’ was not literal. “To say nothing of the final resting places of these other ponies. I knew them, talked with them. I heard their dreams, I fought against their nightmares. And you,” she snarled, her eyes slowly beginning to burn with a golden fury, “have seen fit to enrich yourself from their deaths.”

Bean slowly retreated, lest he and his son be caught in an alicorn-fueled explosion of fire and brimstone. Dig Dug, despite being obviously terrified, did not realize how close he was to the brink of annihilation at this moment. Bean could clearly see the raw, unmitigated power that was only held back by a few thin threads of immense willpower, and the surges that were leaking out between the seams would not be held in check for much longer. 

But just then, Apollo began to whimper.

The unfamiliar sound drew Celestia’s attention, making her face turn from anger to deep unease when she saw her own son shrinking away in fear and alarm. Her muscles slowly relaxed as Bean pulled Apollo into his shoulder and gently tried to soothe him, with little success. 

The Princess of Sun and Fire drew in a deep breath, put a hoof to her chest, and drew it away with a long exhale that smelled of ash and brimstone. 

“Sergeants, please escort this criminal to the local sheriff.” Celestia dumped Dig Dug in front of them, and the guards took him into their custody with a quick nod. “I will be along shortly to discuss the matter.”

All Celestia wielded now was concern and regret, and she slowly approached her husband and her son with a soft shushing noise. “It’s okay, Pollie. Mommy got a little upset, but she’s better now. You don’t need to be afraid.”

Apollo slowly pulled his face away from Bean’s shoulder, his lower lip quivering slightly. Celestia offered a concerned smile, which melted away when a small spark of golden magic leapt from his nubby horn.

“He’s trying to put up a shield,” Celestia whispered in horror. “He’s afraid of me.”

“Hey, hey.” Bean offered to try and comfort both his wife and his son. “Everything’s okay now. See? Just a little bit of a heated moment. Nothing to worry about.”

Apollo held tight to Bean for a few moments more, but ever so slowly, Bean could feel the rapid heartbeat of his son slow against his chest. Then, Apollo reached out with one small hoof, and with a barely suppressed gasp of relief, Celestia took her son in her loving embrace.

With small tears of regret and gratitude, Celestia wrapped her wings around Apollo, and he snuggled into her as she softly cooed and hummed. Bean offered a hug to Celestia, standing on his rear legs so he could properly wrap his forelegs around her neck and kiss her cheek.

“Never again,” Celestia vowed with deep conviction. “Neither of you should ever fear me, or what I might do.”

“I think this is a bit of a unique circumstance,” said Bean, but Celestia shook her head.

“No. This was…” she took in another deep breath. “I owe you an explanation, but not here. Let’s deal with Dig Dug and then return home. I have something to show you that will help explain why this is so important to me.”


 * *  ✹ * * 

> 13. - Shadows of the Past
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 * *  ✹ * * 


For perhaps the first time in his life, Baked Bean was not so eager to get answers.

Obviously, the history of the ancient peytral was deeply personal, and Bean felt like an intruder who had walked right into the middle of something he shouldn’t have. If it were up to him, he would be content to forget the whole episode had ever happened.

But some small part of him said that it was essential for Celly to share this with him. Nopony could come to terms with the past by running away from it, as he had learned from his own experiences. Together, they would explore this darkness, and with any luck, Bean would be able to help her see the light.

She’d certainly done the same for him many times before now, already. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that it was his turn to support her, and he would do whatever it took to bring peace back to her troubled heart.

With that resolution behind him, Bean took a moment to check on Apollo in his bassinet in their bedroom. Their son had been fed, his diaper was changed, and he was now sleeping peacefully. Celestia had been relatively quiet during the trip back to Canterlot, with most of her words being to comfort and console their son. After Apollo had fallen asleep, Celestia left to retrieve something from the drawing room, and Bean surmised it was a book that would give the background and history of the peytral.

He didn’t have to wait very long. After a few anxious minutes, Celestia returned with a tea set in her magic. An old, ragged book sat between the sugar bowl and the teacups, and Bean felt his curiosity returning with a vengance.

Celestia said nothing as she set the tray down on the nearby table and lowered herself onto the cushions and pillows. Bean moved to snuggle in beside her, and she levitated the book to him with a small frown.

His first thought was that this was a journal of some sort. The pages were uneven and ragged, the binding was nothing more than some rough stitching with some thick thread, and the cover felt like tree bark. After looking it over for a moment, he gingerly opened the tome, and found a tight, neat script that looked very elegant and practiced. The words were in Old Equish, however, so he glanced up to Celly for help.

“This is Lodestone’s journal.” Celestia’s gaze was distant, her words soft and thoughtful. “He and his wife, Sunny Skies, were earth ponies who were deeply in love, and lived a simple, humble, and contented life together.”

“In the Pre-Unification Era?” Bean asked. 

Celestia nodded. “Upon departing for what would become Equestria, Chancellor Puddinghead sent out a decree for all earth ponies to follow her and colonize the new land before those ‘icky’ pegasi and unicorns figured out where they were. She believed that if she could gather enough ponies, she could either frighten the other tribes away, should they find their location, or fight them off if need be. She was most dismayed when she found the pegasi and unicorns arriving at the same place. It was my scheme, but that is a detail for another time. While I am sure you will want to read the entire journal, let’s just read through the parts that pertain to my earlier attitude for now.”

Celestia’s magic sprang to life, and before Bean’s eyes, a layer of magic provided familiar modern letters without disturbing the underlying text. She then gently motioned for him to read the translation, and he skimmed the page before beginning.

“‘Day one on the trail.’” he dictated evenly, taking his time. “‘Chancellor Puddinghead has issued the call for all earth ponies to join her in the journey to a new land that she somehow obtained a map for.’” Bean paused. “I recognize a familiar hoofprint.”

“Indeed,” Celestia responded. Bean went on.

“‘I am looking forward to starting a new life in a fertile land, and hopefully Sunny and I will finally have peace for our growing family. I confess that I am worried about Sunny’s pregnancy, but I am resolved to do whatever I have to do to make sure she and our unborn foal will arrive safely. To that end, we will be traveling with everypony in our meager village, and it is my hope that, by taking the journey together, we can protect and watch over each other.’”

Celestia’s magic gently turned a few pages. Bean waited for the translation spell to finish before starting once more. “‘Day thirty three. Winds light from southeast. We made good progress today, hindered only by one river crossing. The delay was minimal; the river would more accurately be described as an ankle deep stream, and we forded it without trouble. Once camp was struck, I prepared a hearty turnip and radish hash for the company to enjoy. The ground here seems fertile and clean, so I have asked several ponies to search for more wild plants and vegetables to replenish the supply wagon. 

“‘Day thirty four. Winds negligible. We were unable to make any progress today, due to a most peculiar development. Shortly before dawn, a small group of pegasi stumbled onto our camp, each of them looking quite ragged and desperate. As we prepared to drive them away, we found that several of their foals had eaten poisonous mushrooms and one had been taken severely ill. Against my own better judgment—and, I suspect, the general desires of the earth ponies—I was able to concoct an antidote for the afflicted, and as I write, she is resting and recovering with her family. The pegasi have agreed to depart in the morning, and thus far, have been nothing but grateful and respectful towards us.

“‘I find my feelings are rather conflicted. For many long years, we have been tormented by the pegasi and their endless aerial raids, and I cannot even begin to count how many earth ponies have perished because of their horrendous actions. Yet when I saw that small filly, thin from malnourishment and suffering so acutely, I could not stand idly by. I found myself thinking of how desperate I would be if my foal was in that situation—and indeed, how desperate were the pegasi, if they were willing to lay aside all animosity and beg for our assistance! Enemies we may be, but in this moment, I feel as if something has changed between all of us.’”

Bean paused in thought. “So, these ponies discovered the magic of friendship before Hurricane, Puddinghead, and Platinum did?”

Celestia nodded. “Read on.”

“Day thirty five. Winds light from the southeast. It was with great joy that we awoke and found that the afflicted pegasus filly had fully recovered from the poison, and the entire group were most profuse with their thanks. 

“‘They proposed a compromise and a truce. They too had been summoned by Commander Hurricane to a new land free of unicorns and earth ponies, but all of them were malnourished and could not complete the journey. They humbly asked if they could join us until they had recovered, and in exchange, they would take on an equal share of the camp’s chores. They also offered to fly ahead, acting as scouts for the party so we could map a route that avoided potential pitfalls and perils, and that would ease the strain of pulling the wagons. 

“‘I and my fellow earth ponies debated this for quite some time, but in the end, we concluded that their assistance would be most beneficial. Though we still plan to keep watch over them—and especially over the supply wagons—we will give these pegasi a chance. I must confess, it was my Sunny’s exhortations that convinced us to allow the pegasi to accompany us, but my dear wife is a very kind and loving pony by nature, and she could not bear to turn away even our enemies in their time of need.’”

Celestia gently flipped some pages again. “‘Day seventy. Moderate winds from the north. A faint cold chill in the air, despite the summer sun. Cloud Chaser and Tail Wind report a mountain range in the far distance. I must admit, having the pegasi with us has been a great boon. We have been steered around many hazards thanks to their flight, and with their help, we have found fertile ground rich with wild foodstuffs to enhance our supplies. I believe we all eat better now than we ever did in our old homes. Cloud has, in his playful way, begun to call me Beans, and he believes that I could make dirt taste like ambrosia. I consider myself to be only a fair cook, and I believe they are being overly generous with their praise. So long as they are able to sleep with a full stomach and are nourished for the next day’s travels, then I am content.’”

Bean glanced up, reread the paragraph, then looked up at his wife. “Wait. An earth pony called Beans who’s a cook. Is Lodestone one of my great-great grandparents or something?”

“Read on,” Celestia replied softly, her gaze distant. Bean wasn’t sure she’d heard his question, but he decided to let it slide for now.

“‘Day seventy-one. Moderate winds from the north. Another peculiar development during our journey has delayed our progress. Cloud Chaser reported a small hedgehog of unicorns ahead of us, and we quickly prepared ourselves for an ambush. We would not let those brutes catch us unawares.

“‘The expected attack never came. The unicorns approached under a flag of truce, and explained that they had become separated from their party. It appears that Princess Platinum has also decided to find a new land, and I wonder now if the three tribes are, inexplicably, being summoned to the same location by some grand unseen force.’” Bean snickered. “Or two very tricky future alicorns, maybe.”

Celestia did smirk at this remark. “Despite my size, I have mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still that I become invisible to the eye. They never saw me meddling with their plans.”

“That explains a lot of things, actually,” he said with a quick kiss to her cheek. “Let’s see. Where was I? Ah. ‘After much debate, we decided to allow the unicorns to travel with us until they could determine where their kind had wandered off to. And, again, it was my beloved Sunny who convinced us to allow the snooty unicorns to accompany us. I can only hope that I, in time, may have a fraction of her goodness, her generosity, and her love of all living things.’”

“This most unusual party of ponies continued onward,” Celestia revealed, her magic flipping through the pages once again. “We’ll read through the rest of this another time, but in summary, the magic of friendship began to work in their hearts, and they all discovered how their individual magics, talents, and skills could aid one another. 

“But as they pressed on, Lodestone continued to note a growing chill in the air. Puddinghead, Platinum, and Hurricane had arrived in Equestria, and their bickering had again summoned the windigos. The accompanying blizzard was stronger than any before, and it spread far enough to envelop Lodestone’s pioneer group. Food grew scarce once more, but rather than fight over what remained, the three tribes agreed to ration what remained, hopeful that they would soon arrive in their new lands of peace and bounty.”

Celestia then tapped the journal. Bean started reading again, but noticed the original writing had become sloppy and loose, like Lodestone had been shivering when he’d put the pencil to the paper. “‘Day one eighty one. Fierce winds from the north. Bitterly cold. Cloud Chaser and Tail Wind are unable to fly in this weather. Polished Gem has no more energy to melt the snowfall at our camps. We do not know why the windigos have returned, or why they afflict us. Even in these harsh conditions, we have not yielded to the desire to blame one another for the misfortunes of the camp. Very slow progress.

“‘Day one ninety two. Fierce winds from the north. Bitterly cold. I…’” Bean trailed off, and he cleared his throat over Celestia’s deep sigh. “‘I cannot feel my hooves.’”

“Read on,” Celestia whispered, almost pleadingly.

“Most in the company have taken to stripping bark from the trees to fill their bellies. It does little to stem the pains of hunger, or to provide strength to pull the wagons. The adults give what meager food remains to the foals, and to Sunny and our unborn child. She feels terribly guilty for taking when so many have nothing, but none—unicorn, pegasus, or earth pony—will allow her to sacrifice.

“‘We reached another large river, and in our state, none have the energy or will to ford it. Many have broken down in tears, myself included. We cannot bear dodging the ice that flows in the currents. There are no trees for shelter here, the ground is frozen and unyielding. In desperation, we have given Cloud Chaser the last of the good food, and he has flown ahead in hopes of finding some sort of help. I think it is a fool’s errand. We will camp here, on the banks of what we are calling the Tartarus River, gather what little strength we can, and attempt to cross in a few days. Perhaps, if we can get some fires lit, we will be warmed enough to endure.’

“The journal ends there. Did they…?”

Celestia did not reply for several long moments. Her gaze rested on Apollo, deep in slumber. 

Finally, she spoke. “Cloud Chaser managed to find his way to Equestria, and while the Three argued with each other in the cave, Luna and I hastened to rescue those beleaguered ponies. We had not yet ascended to alicornhood, so to my great frustration, it took us several days to fight through the snow squalls with our relief wagons to their encampment.”

There was a long pause, and Bean didn’t dare to interrupt. Even after all this time, it was clear that this was a memory that haunted his wife.

A knock came, and Luna slowly entered. “Fair eventide to both of you. Am I interrupting?”

“No. Please, come in.” Celestia gave her sister an eager look. “Were you able to find the potion?”

“Potion?” Bean asked. 

“I apologize for taking so long.” Luna produced a large flask filled with a purple liquid and three small goblets. “My search in the archives for the formula was unsuccessful, but luckily, Twilight Sparkle was able to speak with Zecora, who knew the proper brew.”

“The potion before you is one component of a memory spell,” Celestia clarified. “When touched by the magic of an alicorn, it can allow myself or any other Princess to not only see the past, but be present within it.”

“We do not use this potion lightly or frequently due to the extreme exertion needed to utilize it,” Luna added, heading off Bean’s next question. “And… well, as my sister has said, there are some things that are best left in the past. I have no desire to relive the moment when my Star Struck’s mortal journey came to an end, for one example.”

“This moment, however, should always be remembered,” Celestia said. “Though it will be painful to recall for both Lulu and myself.”

Bean could see how much this was upsetting Celly, the emotional strain clearly layered on top of her existing stress. He couldn’t help but feel that, perhaps, this wasn’t the time to dredge up old memories, especially painful ones. 

“Before you tell us that this is not necessary, please know that Lulu and I want to do this. Lodestone’s sacrifice should be chronicled, so his memory can be properly honored.”

Bean nodded. “So, I assume I have to weave my magic in with yours to go on this trip into the past?”

“You will need to weave into both of our magics,” said Luna. “Then, together, all three of us can participate in the vision.”

Bean drew in a deep breath, and reached out and felt the warm, comforting, and familiar touch of his wife’s magic.

He gasped a little when Luna added hers. The magic of the night was cool, reflective, and… yes, even dark. Yet, it was not the stuff of nightmares, as one might expect. Luna’s magic was rich, exquisite even. It was almost like a candy made of peppermint and dark chocolate, with a silky smooth undertone.  

Then, their horns lit, but oddly, the magic that sprang forth wasn’t their usual gold or blue. It appeared to be some sort of arcane magic, black and red with random inky circles that spat and surged with energy. In a flash, their combined magics struck the flask, turning the liquid within from purple to white.

“Stay connected to me, Bean,” said Celestia as Luna broke away. She poured out three equal measures of the potion into the goblets, and presented them by hoof.

“So, we just drink this?” he asked, unable to keep himself from sniffing the concoction. 

“Yes. It may take a moment to take effect, though. Ready? On three. One. Two. Three.”

Bean downed the goblet in several swift gulps. It didn’t taste too bad, but it didn’t really taste good either. It was a rather strange, sort of neutral flavor, defined more by what it didn’t taste like in his head. 

Though it would pair well with a nice brie, or maybe some fettuccine alfredo, like a white wine…

And then the potion took effect. A surge of power slammed into the back of his head, making his eyes burn with energy and the hair on his neck stand on end. For several moments, it was like he was being ripped away from his own body, something like having the very essence of what made him Baked Bean being forcibly removed and poured out on the floor.

His sight came back just as quickly as it had left, and he shook his head to try and unscramble his senses. “Did it work?” He looked around for Celestia and Luna, despite the snow drifts that now surrounded him. “Where are we?”

“We are in the past,” Celestia responded, wrapping one wing around Bean and pulling him into a tight hug. 

“We are? I don’t feel the cold at all.” Bean looked up at the swirling clouds of snow and ice. It was chilling to see the ghostly apparitions swooping about in the storm, and though he’d never seen windigos in real life, he quickly realized he never wanted to.

“These are but shadows and echoes of what has been,” Luna said, stepping into his field of view. “We cannot interact with the ponies we will see, nor can they see or hear us.”

Celestia pointed to a nearby ridge, and the trio watched on in silence as two unicorns, laden with large tarped wagons, struggled to reach the crest. It only took Bean a moment to figure out that the light grey mare with the pink mane was his wife as a teenager, and that the shorter, navy blue unicorn with the soft, silvery-blue mane was his sister-in-law.

“Sister!” the young Luna cried out, stumbling slightly on an unseen object in the snow that reached up to her barrel. “The storm is getting worse!”

“We must find them before they freeze!” Young Celestia shouted, with a small shake to remove the snow that had built up in her mane, with little effect. 

Bean watched on, desperately wishing that there was a way to astrally project his notebook to him. He wanted to record every detail of what was happening before his eyes.

“There!” Young Luna pointed with her horn. “Across the river, Celly!”

Bean’s attention turned. There, he spotted a camp of several dozen unicorns, earth ponies, and pegasi, all huddled together near the iced-over banks, looking thin, weak, and on the verge of complete collapse. They had given every last ounce of energy they had within them just to get to where they were, and now there was nothing left.

Young Celestia let out a sharp whinny, and many forlorn eyes turned and stared at the unicorns on the hill with disbelief. Hope sprang to life once more as the sisters galloped down the hill with their relief wagons, their magic clearing the snow in front of them so their progress would not be impeded.

Bean felt the familiar twist of his wife’s teleportation magic, and found himself at the edge of the desperate traveling party. It only took a moment for those who had seen the wagons to accept that they were, in fact, not hallucinating, and they let out a feeble cheer as they prodded those who had remained still. 

“Wake up, wake up!” The shout brought Bean to tears. “Cloud Chaser did it! The relief party is here!”

The whole camp stirred as the past versions of Celestia and Luna let out another blast of magic that froze the river in front of them, allowing them to quickly cross over on the ice and to slide to a stop in the middle of the weary group. Desperate hooves reached out, eager for anything to relieve their suffering, and the sisters tore at their wagon harnesses, desperate to pass out the aid they’d brought.

“Celly!” Luna managed to unhitch first, and she rushed to the back of her wagon. “Clear a spot for a fire, quickly!”

What happened next was, quite honestly, a bit of a blur for Bean, even though he was just observing. The Celestia of the past blasted away a large drift of snow with a grunt, the past Luna produced a large bundle of firewood, and another wild shot from Celestia ignited it into a fierce blaze. Blankets, coats, scarves, hats, and warm boots were passed out faster than should be realistically possible, and somehow, a large black cauldron appeared over the fire, filled to the brim with a hearty vegetable stew that was instantly warmed with another shot of magic. Several large kettles were produced, filled with melting ice from the river, and warmed by Celestia. The troubled party weeped with joy as they received the nourishment that they so desperately needed. More fires were lit, and Bean smiled as the two sisters made sure everypony had been taken care of.

“Looks like you both got here just in time,” he said to Celestia, who shook her head.

“Not quite. Look.”

A pregnant yellow mare sat up slightly and glanced around, her face full of concern and fear. “Wait. Lodestone? Lodestone! Where is he?!”

Other ponies began to look around and call out for Lodestone, but he did not answer. The frantic mare sprang to her hooves, but before she could charge off into the blizzard, Luna stepped over and held her back.

“My husband!” the mare wailed. “I have to find him! He’s out there!”

“Remain here,” Young Celestia commanded, her tone almost as strong and authoritative as the one Bean was familiar with. “My sister and I will find him. Do you know where he might have gone?”

“He said he was going to try to get some firewood. He must have gone into that small thicket of trees a ways back.”

“Stay here.” Celestia, along with Luna, headed towards the few thin aspen trees that were in the distance. Bean found himself moving with his wife and his sister-in-law, following effortlessly over the snow as the teenage sisters plowed through the chest-high drifts. 

At first, there were no signs that anypony was there, recently or long ago. Bean watched the future rulers as they stomped around and searched for some hint or clue, persevering despite the fierce wind that seemed determined to obliterate all traces of their existence with every step.

“There!” Young Celestia pointed to a faint, almost imperceptible hoof print on the downwind side of a tree. The sisters rushed to the other side.

Bean’s heart tore in half and dropped into his gut as he saw what they saw. A lone pony lay half-buried in the snow, and it was obvious he’d been there for quite some time. A few wispy twigs were piled in front of him, and Bean knew what had happened. 

“No. Oh, no, no, no.” Young Celestia moved to check for any signs of life, but she was restrained by her sister. 

“It is too late, Celly. He is gone.” 

It was all too true. Bean could see nothing but emptiness—and, perhaps, a touch of sorrowful resignation—in Lodestone’s clouded eyes. The Celestia of the past snorted, sniffled, and fought back her tears with a stomp of her forehoof. 

“Damn you,” she growled from between gritted teeth. “Damn you and those insufferable fools who summoned you.” Young Celestia rose to her hooves and fired a blast of magic into the sky, screaming just as loud as the circling windigos overhead. “GO BACK TO WHENCE YOU CAME AND LEAVE US ALONE!”

The windigos only howled and wailed more, heedless to the pain and misery they brought to the ponies below. Celestia stood there for the longest time, horn raised towards the sky, her mane flapping in the wind until Luna quietly moved to her side. 

“Come, Celly. We can do naught for the dead but mourn. Let us return him to the others.”

Bean felt his wife’s wing drape over him, and he pressed himself into her warm side as her tears began to trickle down his mane. “I can’t even imagine what you must have been feeling at this moment,” he offered softly, while the Celestia of the past gently lifted Lodestone’s body with her magic.

“Anger, mostly,” Celestia replied. “Back then, it was a needless death in my eyes. It still is, to a degree. If Puddinghead, Hurricane, and Platinum had heeded any of the pleas of myself, Luna, or their closest advisors, then Lodestone would have survived. None of the refugees expected the windigos to follow them, and they were completely unprepared for these blizzard conditions, especially since it was the middle of summer.”

“We don’t have to stay here. I’m pretty sure we’ve all seen enough.”

“Let us remain,” Luna insisted. “What happens next will be of utmost importance to this tale.”

“I agree,” Celestia said. “Though it will be difficult to watch.”

As expected, the pregnant mare broke out into hysterical sobs when her husband’s body was brought back to camp. The others in the group were also distraught, but from their grim frost-covered expressions, Bean knew they were more concerned with their own survival at the moment. 

Past Celestia and Past Luna continued to keep the various fires going and to provide what little healing they could. A deadly depression overtook the group, and silence reigned supreme.

Bean then suddenly realized that the sky was growing darker. “Celly? Why are you lowering the sun?” he asked, barely catching what he’d said.

“I can’t control it here,” she said wistfully. “And I couldn’t control it then, either. I was still a unicorn.”

“Celly?” Past Luna whispered with some trepidation. “What are we to do now? I fear we have only prolonged the inevitable. We have nowhere to go.”

“I know.” Young Celestia fell silient as the long shadows of night began to overtake them. Eventually, she shook her head and managed, “We can’t just sit here and do nothing.”

Past Luna nodded with a deep frown. “Perhaps we could retreat? There is a chance the windigos have moved from our old lands to here.”

“Maybe, but there would still be no food. I fear our only option is to move on to Equestria.”

Past Luna snorted. “If only we could disperse the foul demons. This group would settle here, and build up a village while they recover. Let the Three freeze themselves in their arrogance, but these poor ponies have suffered enough because of them.”

“We can discuss that in the morning. For now, let’s make sure this group can get some rest.”

“Lulu, could you move us ahead to the next morning?” Celestia asked. “I don’t think we need to see the whole night.”

“As I recall, we mostly tried to feed, warm, and care for the group.” Luna’s magic flashed, and the scene moved before the royals at double speed. “Sunny Skies wept over Lodestone, but eventually, she permitted having his body wrapped in a thin blanket and placed in one of the wagons. I do not believe anypony slept that night, but if they did, it was only in fits and starts.”

“You can control the speed of this memory?” Bean asked, whilst the night flew past him in a blur.

“Dreams and memories are not so different, in the end. Sometimes, they are the same thing,” Luna explained thoughtfully. 

The memory resumed at normal speed, but Bean noticed there was still no light. “Um, Luna? Did you go far enough?”

She answered by pointing to her past self, who was looking at the swirling storm of windigos overhead.

“Celly?” Younger Luna asked. “Shouldn’t the sun be up by now?”

Young Celestia snorted in derision. “Yes. Platinum must have ordered the unicorns to keep the moon up to try and force Hurricane and Puddinghead to capitulate. I overheard Iron Hoof telling her to do so before we left.”

“So, are we all condemned to die like this? The great pony nations, destined to destroy each other within the cold darkness of hatred!?”

“No.” Young Celestia stood, her gaze firmly on the eastern horizon. “Lulu, you have been with me from the beginning. We know the tribes are meant to be together and to work together. We’ve seen the earth ponies, the pegasi, and the unicorns do impossible things when they put aside their animosity, and these ponies here are the ultimate expression of that truth.” She lit her horn and spread her forelegs out to brace herself. “I cannot believe, after all that we have seen and done, that we are now helpless and impotent. Come, my Sister. We have defied Platinum’s mad whims before. Let us do so again, one last time.”

“Celly?” Young Luna rose and stepped next to her sister. “Do you really think we can?”

“No. I know, beyond any doubt, that with you at my side we will.”

With that, a surge of magic shot from the young Celestia’s horn, bursting fury and power that even Bean could see far exceeded her natural capacity. With a loud cry of determination and raw willpower, his teenage wife reached out for the sun, grabbed it, and wrestled control away from the unseen unicorns that held it down.

The younger Luna’s horn surged to life, and in like manner, her regal dark magic shot upwards, penetrating the storm and making contact with the moon. Side by side—and with the strength of their sisterly bonds—the two unicorns fought, overcame, and possessed the celestial orbs of day and night, moving them across the sky in defiance of everything and everypony that had come before them.

Bean stumbled back a step when another brilliant surge of magic pulsed out from the Sisters, their eyes filled with sparkling energies that flowed into their manes, down the length of their barrels, down to their hooves, and out to the tips of their tails. He watched in fascination as they rose into the air, and he averted his gaze when a blindingly bright light overtook their forms. 

Once his vision cleared, he was treated to a sight that he would never forget. There, hovering in the sky a few dozen feet above the camp, where two unicorns had once been, were now two regal and majestic alicorns, their new wings beating proudly and driving back the wintry winds of the windigos. Celestia’s mane and tail now held the pastel hues that Bean knew all too well, and Luna’s mane and tail had transformed into their familiar midnight pattern as well. 

With a series of powerful blasts from both sisters, the windigos were driven from the sky with howls of defeat, and the sun rose back into the sky. The other ponies in camp gawked in stunned silence as the clouds cleared away, and Bean cheered as the future Princesses of Equestria returned to earth.  

“I still remember it like it was yesterday,” Celestia said softly. 

“As do I,” Luna added. “I am most grateful that Twilight Sparkle’s trial was nothing more than some mixed-up cutie marks. Our ascension came at a heavy price.”

Bean had a thousand questions, but he couldn’t find his voice. He simply sat, watching in a stunned silence as the new alicorns looked over their new wings.

“So, what happened next?” It was the first question he could pin down, but he was worried about the answer.

“We returned to Equestria with the survivors,” Celestia stated simply. “During our return, the Three managed to finally set aside their animosity, so once the snow melted, we were able to travel relatively quickly. Puddinghead, Hurricane, and Platinum were deeply troubled when they saw how abused and malnourished the party was, and when they learned of Lodestone…”

“The lesson was learned all too well,” Luna finished, as the memory began to fade away. 

Bean reeled for a moment as he felt himself being stuffed back into his own body, and he was grateful he was lying down next to Celestia. His head was still spinning like a top, and he wasn’t sure if he was facing up or down.

“Could you stop the room please? I’d like to get off,” he groaned.

“The effects of the potion will subside in a moment,” said Luna. “The after-effects are more pronounced since both Celestia and I put our magic in it.”

Bean spread his front legs out, which seemed to stabilize his equilibrium. Once the dizziness slowed to a tolerable level, he swallowed his stomach back into place and focused on the more important issue. “Are you… okay?”

“I am.” Celestia gave him a peck on the cheek, but her frown remained. “You see why I was so angry earlier.”

“Yeah. So, when did you give Sunny the peytral?”

“Luna and I gifted it to her a few years later, at a ball that was held to celebrate the second anniversary of the foundation of Equestria.” Celestia paused, and the corners of her mouth twitched up. “Lulu, isn’t that when you met Star Struck for the first time?”

“It was,” Luna said with a pleased smile. 

“We also presented gifts to the other survivors of that ill-fated party, but I’m afraid I don’t remember what was given. I’m sure it’s written down somewhere.”

“And what happened to Sunny after that?” Bean asked.

“She lived a rather normal life, as I recall.” Celestia pursed her lips in thought. “Journey’s End was founded on the spot where she was rescued, and the cemetery is where Lodestone died. His grave was next to Sunny’s, and fortunately, Dig Dug did not disturb it.”

“Probably because he was not buried with anything valuable.” Luna snorted angrily. “Most of the survivors were eventually buried there, so Dig Dug has probably been removing the gifts we gave them. At the time, it was seen as a great honor to be buried with them.”

“We will need to determine what he took and where he sold them to,” Celestia said. “And then we will need to contact the direct descendants of those ponies. It will not be easy to repair the damage he caused.”

“Descendants?” Bean inquired.

“Because the artifacts were taken illegally, the direct descendants of those ponies—if there are any—are entitled to determine if said artifact should be reburied, since it involves exhuming the grave once more.”

Bean nodded, his gaze moving back to the ancient journal in front of him. “And I suppose we start with Sunny Skies.”

“I believe her family will be the easiest to locate,” Luna suggested with a knowing look that was squarely on Bean. 


 * *  ✹ * * 


“Garby, sweetie? You okay?”

Garbanzo Bean shook himself free of his idle thoughts. “Yeah, sorry. I’m just wondering what Celestia and Baked have to talk to us about.” His gaze went back out the window and over the patio of the Zuerst, and Lima joined him. 

“It is a tad peculiar, isn’t it? It’s always nice to have a family reunion, but I wish it wasn’t under such cryptic circumstances.”

“Is everypony here?”

Lima nodded. “Balanced Budget and Adzuki just came in the back with Flageolet. They’re all waiting in the banquet room.” 

Garbanzo nodded, but didn’t say anything else. The two continued to watch the outside world, their eyes sweeping the sky in anticipation of a royal air carriage.

“What did you think of that thestral who came in yesterday?” Lima asked when the silence became uncomfortable. “Night Shift, right?”

Garbanzo nodded. “Yeah. A bit young, maybe, but I think she’d work out. We could start her out bussing tables until she learns the menu. She’ll definitely bring in more curious customers.”

Lima scoffed playfully. “That’s all we need. She came across to me like she was a bit… desperate, maybe? I got the feeling she really wanted to leave the enclave.”

“Can’t say I blame her for wanting to strike out on her own. Or any thestral, for that matter. I’d feel cooped up too, if I’d been in hiding like that for so long.”

“There they are.” Lima pointed to the approaching carriage. “I hope everything is okay. Could this have something to do with Apollo or Celestia’s depression?”

“Guess we’ll find out.” Garbanzo moved to open the main door for his son and daughter-in-law, and he offered a welcoming smile.

“Hey, Bean buddy. Celestia.” Garbanzo hugged them both quickly, and he chuckled when Apollo offered a squeal of delight. “And Pollie! Can’t forget you, can I?” He nuzzled his grandson in his baby carrier, which elicited more happy laughs. “Everypony is waiting inside.”

“Good. I appreciate you gathering everyone for this,” Celestia said as they entered. 

“So, what’s going on?”

“A little bit of family history,” Baked Bean answered. “Celly will explain everything.”





“So, you’re saying that we’re the descendants of Sunny Skies?” Garbanzo repeated, hoping he’d heard Celestia right. The story she had shared about Sunny, Lodestone, and her own ascension to alicornhood had been quite the tale, to put it simply.

“We needed to be sure, but yes,” Celestia affirmed. “Flageolet, you and your children are legally Sunny Skies’ heirs, and thus, it falls upon all of you to determine what should be done with the peytral that was taken from her grave. Soy, Sevia, I’m afraid you won’t have a final say in what to do, since you are related by marriage, but you’re still welcome to offer your opinion, if you’d like to.”

The gathered Beans glanced at each other. This was quite the weighty decision to drop on them, and right after they’d learned about their family history, no less.

“Princess?” Lentil asked, pushing her glasses up. “Um… how did we get the name Bean, if we come from Sunny Skies?”

“That’s another interesting tidbit, actually.” Baked Bean answered. “While we were looking into the geneology, we found the last will and testament for Sunny in the archives. She gave birth shortly after arriving in Equestria, and she named her son Beans, after the nickname the party had given to Lodestone. He, in turn, named his children after bean types, thus starting the tradition. She left everything to him, but he insisted on having her buried with the peytral, to honor her sacrifice.”

“Did she ever remarry?” 

“No.” Celestia shook her head. “She remained a widow. Luna and I would visit her every few years or so, when we could find the time. When she passed, Luna and I made sure to attend her funeral. She lived a contented life with Beans and her friends, but she never fully recovered from losing her husband. Beans later told us he never felt neglected or unloved, but he could always sense an undercurrent of sadness in his mother.”

“That’s also how Celly ended up with the journal,” Baked Bean added. “Beans donated it to the archives just before he passed, to make sure it would be preserved. He had a copy made for himself, but it obviously was lost at some point.”

“So, is that why we say ‘bite the bark?’” Lentil questioned. “Because Lodestone and the others ate the bark off trees?”

“Most likely, yes,” Celestia said. “However, we are getting off-topic. I will be pleased to answer your questions about the history to the best of my ability, but first, you as a family need to determine what to do with Sunny’s peytral.”

There was another long pause, but then Flageolet spoke up. “Celestia, what would you prefer?”

“I must recuse myself from this—”

“Oh no you don’t.” Flageolet cut her off with a firm stare. “You’re part of this family too, Princess Bean.”

Celestia started to speak, then stalled, grunted, and finally sighed. “I suppose I am. My inclination, to be honest, is to return the peytral. But I will abide by whatever decision we make together.”

Garbanzo glanced over his family, his mind filled with memories of his childhood, with his siblings in Flageolet’s household. As he made eye contact with each of them, he could see they were thinking the same thing he was. 

“Celestia, I think… well, I think we’d like to have the peytral put on display, if we could.” Everypony else nodded in agreement. “I mean, we understand that it’s a painful memory for you, but I think we all want Sunny’s sacrifice to be known. We don’t want to forget our history again.”

“If that is the decision, then I will personally ensure Sunny’s peytral is put on permanent display in the palace.”

Flageolet stood. “Then it’s settled. Now, I don’t know about all of you, but after all of that, I need a good, hearty meal. Garbanzo, get the stoves warmed up and let your staff know they’re going to be busy. They’ve got a Bean family to feed.”


 * *  ✹ * * 


Celestia sat silently, listening to the steady scratch scratch of Doctor Cheerilee’s pencil. 

“Hmm.” Cheerilee stopped, made a few thoughtful noises, and tapped her chin. “Forgive me for being a stereotypical therapist, but I’m curious. When the decision was made to display the peytral, how did that make you feel?”

The question caught Celestia off guard, and she thought it over for a moment. “I was… upset, I suppose. Annoyed, maybe. But as I’ve thought the matter over since then, I feel that their decision was the right one, and that I, too, want Sunny’s peytral to be seen.”

Cherilee leaned back, nodding. “I see. Was there anything in particular that changed your mind?”

“No, not that I can think of.”

“Interesting. Your Highness, I think we may have hit on something. You may have a mild case of metathesiophobia, or a fear of change.”

“A fear of change?” Celestia repeated.

“Yes. For a thousand years, you were forced to fit into a specific image and persona for your little ponies. You had to stand alone, the ultimate image of grace, poise, and wisdom. Generation after generation looked to you for inspiration and guidance, and you provided stability to Equestria as a whole. Does this sound accurate?” she asked, and Celestia nodded.

“Now, over the years, you have become familiar, even comfortable, with this state of stasis. Being in this stasis for centuries made it easy to run everything by yourself.

“But then things began to change. Princess Cadance became an alicorn. You took on a powerful protégé, who also became an alicorn. Princess Luna returned and was redeemed. You got married and had a child. Any one of those things would be life-altering by itself, and you’ve experienced all of them in a relatively short amount of time, especially in regards to Baked Bean and Apollo. It is possible that your depression has been caused, in part, by being forced into an entire series of unfamiliar circumstances and not knowing how to handle them.”

Celestia thought the idea over for a moment. “But I wasn’t depressed when I married Baked Bean.”

“Really? What was the first thing you felt when you realized he’d touched your nose?”

The Princess hesitated. “Well… confusion. Then anxiety. I was worried that he would leave, or that he would refuse to marry me.”

“And how did you feel on your wedding day? Excited? Jubilant?”

“No, I suppose not. I was… afraid. Afraid of what my life would be like with a husband.”

“And it could be that you’re experiencing the same thing now. It was easier to adjust to and accept Baked Bean since he has been thoughtful, considerate, kind, and loving. Apollo, like all infants, is demanding, noisy, and unreasonable. He demands that you do everything for him. You’ve never had to deal with something like that before.”

There seemed to be some truth to what the good doctor was saying. “So, how do I overcome this phobia?”

“There are a few things we can try. Giving you some coping mechanisms to use may be beneficial, so let’s start with that.” Cherilee paused for a moment in thought. “Let me look into a few things first. In the meantime, I have a homework assignment for you.”

“Oh?”

“As you go about your daily routine over the next week, I want you to look for things that could be changed, and how you would feel if they did. Now, I’m not talking about small things like if you moved the chairs around in the dining hall or if you painted your walls pink. I mean things like, oh, say if Captain Shining Armor resigned from the Royal Guard unexpectedly, or if you decided to live in the Castle of the Two Sisters again. Don’t worry about the details of how that would come about, but be objective in how you would feel, what you would think. Write your thoughts down, and be honest. Many times, my patients will just say ‘I wouldn’t feel any different’ and not really analyze their feelings. The idea is that by identifying your emotions, we can then discuss what is influencing them and how to work through and change our viewpoints.”

Celestia slowly nodded. “I will keep a record of my thoughts, then.”

“Have Baked Bean help you. Ask him what he thinks you’d think about these changes. Having an outside viewpoint can help us to see things in a new light. Sound good?”

“It does. I will be sure to do all that you ask.”

“Thank you. Now, when would be a good time to schedule your next appointment?”  


 * *  ✹ * * 


Princess Celestia breathed deeply as she moved towards her personal chambers, her mind swirling with the echoes of her conversation with Doctor Cheerilee. She still couldn’t quite fully accept that she had an aversion to change, since things had constantly changed over her lengthy lifetime.

But then again, there were certain elements of her memories which matched up against the doctor’s analysis far too well for comfort. And to simply discard that advice… would be refusing to allow change.

It was all a bit confusing, but Celestia was willing to trust the process.

“Princess Celestia, ma’am?”

Celestia stopped, turned, and greeted the guard who had called out to her. “Yes, Corporal Larkspur?”

“Princess Luna wanted me to let you know she is expecting visitors this evening.”

“Oh?” One of Celestia’s regal eyebrows slid up. “I wasn’t aware of any scheduled dignitaries. Who is coming?”

“Um… well, Princess Luna has invited my family to dine with her this evening. Constance, Tumbleweed, Marigold, and Mint should be here for moonrise, with the meal to follow. She also wanted me to find out if you would care to join us, but you’re under no obligation.”

“I see. I’ve noticed that my sister seems to be quite fond of you and your family.”

Larkspur’s cheeks took on a pinkish hue. “Indeed, ma’am. My family and I are grateful for her kindness and generosity, though I don’t know what we’ve done to deserve it.”

Celestia chuckled. “I think I do, but I will leave that matter to her and you. I would enjoy sharing a meal with you and yours, but let me make sure my husband has not made other plans.”

“I’ll wait right here, ma’am.” 

The Princess of Day strode to her room and softly entered. Apollo should be napping at this time of day, and she didn’t want to wake him.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she glanced into his bassinet. Her son was sleeping soundly, and to Celestia, he looked like a chubby little angel. She gently brushed a stray bit of mane out of his face, then simply stood and admired her son.

For a few moments, she contemplated Cheerilee’s thoughts and advice. Celestia did have to admit that she had a certain way of viewing the world, built up and reinforced over a thousand years of ups and downs while taking care of Equestria by herself. Now that it had been pointed out to her, Celestia could see there really was a great deal of truth in what her therapist had said, and it was going to be difficult to change her perceptions.

But she could do it. For her son, for her husband, but mostly, for herself. It would take time, but she inwardly vowed to turn over a new mental page in her mind, much like the book on her husband’s rather fine butt.

A rather peculiar feeling began to grow in her chest with this resolution. It slowly spread outward, sending little tingles of delight along her spine and down to her hooves. With a small gasp and a few tears, Celestia suddenly realized what this feeling was.

Princess Celestia Bean felt happy. 

She reveled in the revelation, her joy overflowing and filling her with delight. The gnawing numbness that had settled in shortly after Apollo’s birth had finally given way to peace and contentment. She felt her love flowing outward like a warm blanket, enveloping his sleeping form and wrapping him up tightly.

There would still be long days and even longer nights ahead, of course. Apollo would still demand her constant attention for several years. This good feeling wouldn’t last forever, and frustration would inevitably settle in sooner than she would want.

But she knew she could feel love and happiness for him now, and even if it took several months, she would be able to feel it again.

All she had to do was keep moving forward.

“I didn’t hear you come in.” Baked Bean slid up and pecked her cheek. “You okay? How was therapy?”

“It went well,” she returned with a smile. “And I am well. Doctor Cheerilee gave me a homework assignment, and I could use your help.”

“Really? What can I do?”

Celestia touched her nose to his. “How do you think I would feel if Corporal Larkspur and Luna started dating?”


 * *  ✹ * * 

> 14. - Dapples
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“And that, Your Highness, is why we wish to erect a statue of Princess Luna in the center of Canterlot.”

Luna blinked once. “Forgive me, Lord Thimble. You wish to commission a statue of myself so that all ponies may, and I quote, ‘be able to admire your exquisite backside?’”

“Yes, Your Highness. I assure you, the Association of Royal Rump Respecters has already raised the funds. No taxpayer money will be needed. We only need your approval.”

Luna blinked again. She turned to Celestia, whose subtle smile had ever so slowly changed during the presentation until it now resembled something you might find on a Cheshire cat. 

“Hurry up and give him your approval, sister.” Celestia barely resisted cackling with delight, although Luna could tell she was about to lose her air of Royal Detachment and roll on the floor with laughter any minute. “I’d be interested to see your flanks immortalized in bronze. Or perhaps a nice marble would be better.”

“If it would help your decision, Your Highness, the Association plans on commissioning a statue of your sister’s rump next,” Lord Thimble went on.

Luna dropped her face into her hooves. “Oh, stars and sun above. That’s all Equestria needs, another statue of Celestia in any way, shape, or form. Especially her rear.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand, Princess. Why would you deny the populace of the opportunity to worship your—”

“Do not finish that sentence.” Luna glared at her giggling sister. “Lord Thimble, as… honored as I am that you find my hindquarters to be so attractive, I must refuse your request. We would not be comfortable with statues of Our tail end on display in the middle of Canterlot. Or anywhere else, for that matter.”

“But Your Highness!” Lord Thimble protested. “Princess Celestia, please! The Association only wants to—”

“My Sister has spoken.” Celestia cut him off with a slight increase in volume and the sincerest stern stare she could manage at the moment, which was not much. “Her word is Our word, and it is final. I suggest you find another use for the funds you have raised, or refund them.” 

Lord Thimble looked like he would protest further, but a sharp look from Luna cut him off, and he was forced to admit defeat. “Very well, Your Highnesses. Thank you for your time.”

The Royal Sisters remained motionless until Lord Thimble had been escorted out, but as soon as he was gone, Luna nearly exploded. “Aye, what a pure reedy that was!” 

Celestia took a while to recover her composure, but once she had quit laughing to herself, she nodded in the door’s general direction. “And he’s not even in the top ten of strange requests.”

“But askin’ to bronze mah bum? He’s got brass… something else!” Luna proclaimed.

Celestia had to admit that Luna was adorable when her speech slipped back to that ancient highland brogue, especially since she only used it when her mind was filled with thoughts of her husband. “Indeed so. He clearly did not know that Star Struck is the only one who may praise that particular portion of your posterior.”

“He would do well to remember it, the daftie.” Luna rubbed the side of her head. “Curse me kilts. When, exactly, did our little ponies stop offering the proper respect and deference to their lieges?”

“Tempora mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis,” Celestia said. “Our little ponies do respect and revere us. It just…” She paused as her recent conversation with Doctor Cheerilee came to mind. “It’s just changed a little bit over the years, and we must learn to appreciate it. Within limits, or course.”

“I am not entirely sure that I like that. There is an argument to be made for some things to remain the same.”

“If nothing changes, then everything remains the same, the good and the bad.”

Luna rolled her eyes and gave Celestia a flat stare. “Like you and your cryptic nonsense. Wysteria, send in the next petitioner.”

“That was the last one for the day, Your Highness,” Wysteria replied, looking over her clipboard with such intensity that nopony would ever suspect her of having heard the entire conversation. 

“Good. If you will excuse me, Celly. I need to find a memory erasing spell so I may properly purge the memory of Lord Thimble’s request. And possibly some way to wash his brain of this idea, too.”

“For some, a simple rinse will do. I will see you at moonrise, then?”

“Certes. And always.”

With that, Luna disappeared in a swirl of dark clouds and darker grumbling. Celestia drew in a deep breath, stood, and stretched her rear legs. “Wysteria, did you hear back from Ambassador Ghis?”

“I’m afraid not, Your Highness. Forgive my pun, but the griffons have been acting very cagey as of late. I can go find him, if you like.”

“No need. If he cannot confirm his appointment times, then he will forfeit them. You should head home early and enjoy some quality time with Quill and your twins.”

“That would be nice, thank you. I believe I will.”

“How are your wedding plans progressing?” the princess asked as they strode out of the throne room.

“We’re thinking about a year from now.” Wysteria’s voice hummed with delight. “That should give us plenty of time to make all of the arrangements.”

“Wonderful! Forgive me if I am being presumptuous, but if you would like, I would be honored to officiate.”

“I was just considering the proper time to ask, Your Highness. Once I have more details, I will be sure to share them with you.”

Celestia nodded. “Now get out of here. I will see you in the morning.”

“Good night, Princess.”

Celestia watched her secretary’s retreat for a moment, noted the slight spring in her step that hadn’t been there earlier, and then turned to locate her own beloved husband. With Ambassador Ghis’ no show, she now had an unexpected free hour before moonrise, which she meant to spend with the two most important stallions in her life. 

Time well spent, indeed.





“And what’s this one?” Baked Bean pointed to the picture in the fabric book, giving Pollie an eager look.

His son replied with a few gurgles and a questioning look. Bean was pretty extra sure that everything he was trying to teach was going right over Apollo’s head, but it was never too early to start.

“Duck. See?” Bean puckered his lips in imitation. “Quack, quack, quack!”

Apollo giggled at Bean’s antics, and from the open doorway, Bean heard the perfect peals of Celestia’s laughter.

“A fair reproduction, my love,” she said, walking up to them. “You should show me your duck face later tonight, once Pollie is in bed.”

“I’ve tried,” Bean quipped with a quick kiss. “You just laugh at me.”

“Can you blame me?”

“Not at all. Did Ambassador Ghis cancel?”

“He did.” Celestia paused for a long moment in thought. “I suppose it is possible he has been making appointments to simply put a hole in my schedule and canceling so I can spend time with you two. He is a sly old bird.  Anyway, Wysteria will follow up tomorrow and remind him of my cancellation policies. How did your meeting with the Hays and Wheats committee go?”

“About as dryly as you’d expect. I took notes.” He motioned to some loose papers on the changing table in the nursery. “To put it simply, everything is looking good in the agricultural departments.”

“Good. Thank you for attending that meeting for me.” She pecked his cheek, and nuzzled their son who squealed in delight. “And you! I hope you behaved for Mama Nana.”

“She didn’t say anything when I picked him up,” Bean remarked as Celestia gently blew raspberries on Pollie’s tummy. “How was day court?”

“Unremarkable, save for the last petitioner. It seems there is an organization that is dedicated to appreciating the royal posteriors of myself and Luna.”

Bean did not say anything for a long moment. Then, he ever-so-slowly leaned over to observe the posterior in question, considered his words, and asked, “What?”

Celestia took a moment to explain, but Bean still looked delightfully confused once she was done. “That is… weird. Almost sounds like the Mid Chansenhauser era is making a comeback. Did you give him permission?”

“His petition was rejected.” 

Bean stood. “Still listening, just need to use the restroom real quick.” Celestia took his place on the floor, and she pulled a funny face, to Apollo’s great amusement. “And I can see why you turned him down.”

“I try to allow my little ponies the freedom to do as they wish, but there are limits. Adoration and veneration are to be expected, but I always become uncomfortable when ponies begin to worship and idolize. Every so often, I am forced to put my hoof down and remind others that, in the end, I am just a pony like they are.”

“So what will happen to the Royal Rumpers now?”

“Provided they behave themselves, nothing. But I am sure Luna will want a full investigation of their activities, and I wholly sanction it.” Celestia paused as a memory floated up from her subconscious, and she snorted lightly in amusement. “Star Struck is the only pony who is allowed to appreciate Luna’s backside in that manner.”

“I agree.” Bean flushed and washed his hooves before returning. “I’m more of a leg guy myself, but you can hardly blame me for being possessive over your fine flanks, can you?”

“You are the only one who is permitted to admire them so,” Celestia cooed. 

“And I will forever be grateful for that.” Bean rested his head against Celestia's flank and gave his wife a reassuring nudge. “Though I do wish I could do more to help you feel better at times. Flowers, chocolate, and long walks just aren’t doing it. Having a wife and foal is so much more than I could have ever expected, and to have both you and Apollo is just so indescribably wonderful that I run out of words. I sometimes have a terrible thought that I’m only dreaming, and any moment I’ll wake up…” He nudged Celestia’s snow-white flank again, and then paused. He moved his head back and forth a few times, then moved closer to examine something very carefully.

“What?” Celestia looked up with a frown, but her husband was still nose-first against her flank, looking along the grain of her coat just above her cutie mark.

Eventually, he tilted his head again and declared, “You have dapples.”

“I do not,” argued Celestia immediately. “Maybe it’s dirtyikes!!” Bean licked her coat and examined the short white hairs.

“Dapples. They only show up in the light here, and you have to be looking for them. Plus, not many ponies see you from this angle. It's just this little mottled pattern going all the way down your ribs.” He followed them with his nose, giving Celestia a case of the suppressed hiccups.

“Luna has dapples,” insisted Celestia. “I’m just ever so slightly gray in some places.”

“I like them,” said Bean, moving up her ribs with his nose so close to her coat that she could feel him breathing. “Probably because my mother has dapples in a certain light.” He snorted gently, then began to twitch in a case of suppressed giggles.  “You know there's a song about it.”

“There’s a song about everything,” said Celestia, who found her husband’s giggles contagious, much like Apollo who watched them both with sparkling eyes.

“Dad used to sing it in the kitchen before we opened for customers,” he continued, still laughing under his breath and looking far too mischievous. “Mom tried to get him to stop every time, but she never tried very hard.”

“Oh, you’re not going to—”

Her adorable husband took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and began.


“♫I’ve got a mare that I'm just simply wild about. Folks say I'm a lucky colt

“Everywhere we go ponies rave about, this little bundle of joy

“She's got dapples on her but! She is nice

“And when she’s in my arms, it’s paradise

“She smells like a rose, from her head down to her toes

“She’s got dapples on her but! She is nice.♫”
⁽*⁾ Written by Larry Vincent, (c) 1946


“It’s been a while since I’ve heard that one,” Celestia commented through her giggling fit. “Are you sure you’re not seeing something on me that isn’t really there just so you could sing the song?”

“I’d sing it anyway, but they’re there,” he affirmed, tracing a line between the individual dapples on her twitching skin. His playful expression began to fade. “But I’m a bit disappointed that I didn’t notice them before now.” 

“It’s hard to miss seeing what isn’t there,” she said playfully.

“That’s just it, though. You’ve been the Grand Mare of the Morn for centuries now. The only thing ponies have seen in all that time from you is light and goodness and perfection. Whatever little blemishes you have, be they dapples, unflattering personality quirks, or even the darkness you had to inflict as a war charger…” He paused for a moment, his whole demeanor drooping. “All ponies see the light from where they stand, including the one who brings it. And from where she stands, my dear wife can clearly see her own faults and failings—her own inner darkness—and is ashamed of it. No wonder your depression has been so thick.”

“That has been true, in the past.” Celestia pulled her sorrowful husband into a tight hug with her wing, and they both watched the happy wiggles of their son as she continued. “Doctor Cheerilee and I have discussed that, in fact. It was—and still is—difficult for me to see the light that others see in me. I am the example, the leader. I cannot let others see the shadows. I must always present myself perfectly, and all I do must be perfect. When you have to live like that, eventually all you can really see are the flaws, the mistakes, the times when you didn't measure up but hid it from the world.

“And then you nosed your way into my life.” She nuzzled him and kissed his cheek. “You are the first to find the dapples, and to both accept and love them. You see my imperfections, and inexplicably, that only makes me more perfect in your eyes. I can be me with you—dapples and all.

“Bean, though it does feel like we’ve known each other for a long time, we have only been together for about two years. There’s still much we have to learn about each other. Don’t be dismayed about what you haven’t seen; rejoice in what you find. That’s one of many things I enjoy about being with you.”   

Bean nodded slowly, humming a thoughtful note. “I guess so. You know, it kinda reminds me of the yin and yang. How can there be darkness without light, and light without darkness? Nopony can be all one, or all the other.”

“And now I see something about you that I never knew before.” Celestia laughed lightly. “My beloved husband, a philosopher? How interesting.”

“Well,” he said dismissively, “I’m no expert or anything. I just looked into it a little in high school, while I was trying to figure out why I sucked as a chef.”

“Yet you understand the paradox of duality in unity.”

Bean nodded. “That’s why you needed to redeem Luna. Er, one reason, anyway. You balance each other, and in that balance there is Harmony. It can’t exist with just you, or just her.”

“Indeed. All ponies, including myself, must be in balance with each other, and especially with themselves. We have to accept our faults and foibles, our missteps and mistakes. We work to improve and to be better than before, of course. Balance and Harmony, as I am coming to learn, can only be achieved through change and growth, just as day and night continually change. But for us,” she nuzzled Bean’s cheek once more, “the trick is to learn to accept our whole selves, not just the parts that we show to look good for others.”     

Bean pondered this for a moment. “So…”

“No,” she said sternly, albeit with a smile. “I don’t have dapples. I have a faint gray pattern to certain portions of my coat, that's all.”

He wiggled one eyebrow. “That’s the definition of dapples, you know, which means you just admitted I was the first one to find them.”

“Can’t hear you.”

“I’m still going to sing the song whenever it looks like you need it.”

“Still can’t hear you.”


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