• Member Since 7th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Wednesday

CrimsonEquine


Improvement is a dire mistress.

T

A rest from the constant attack from traitors across Equestria, Rarity has defended Empress Luna for many years. As her day off had been less than peaceful, she is still comforted by her sister Sweetie Belle with a dwindled society.
In the midst of sleep, demons come.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 1 )

The concept is interesting. Could have really used a bit more set up. Like...it's clear that Rarity is stressed to the point of PTSD, but why she's stressed isn't really mentioned at all.

Also, for the fight, pick one perspective. Jumping between Rarity and Sweetie Bell makes it super confusing.

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