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Please Don't Sue

The morning sun washed over the rolling green hills of ponyville. The birds were chirping, the fish were swimming and Fluttershy was working the knots out of the back of an overworked grizzly bear.

“Few! You’re really carrying a lot of extra stress today Mr. Bear. I can hardly push hard enough with my weak little hooves.”

“Incoherent bear noises.”

“I know!” Said Fluttershy.

“I’ll crack open a nice, refreshing can of Monster Energy®. That will help me to unleash the beast.”

Fluttershy grabbed a can of Monster from an adjacent stump and proceeded to just smash it. I mean absolutely annihilate that Monster. Like I wouldn't want to be a can of Monster Energy® around Fluttershy anytime soon.

“Unleash the beast!” Fluttershy proceeded to scream as she smashed the can of Monster against her head. She then wasted no time as she aggressively suplexed the bear onto the ground right before spinning him around in a spinal decompression vortex that resulted in less lower back pain and an all around higher quality of bear life before she proceeded to launch the bear into a nearby knot in a tree, knocking him unconscious in the process.

“Please come again!” Fluttershy screamed as she disappeared into the morning sky, followed by a distant crash into trees that scared away a flock of unsuspecting birds.

Meanwhile, at the Golden Oak Library, Twilight Sparkle was hastily making her way through a giant stack of homework assigned to her by Princess Celestia. She had been tasked with finding the solution to a friendship problem that occurred earlier that week. If only Yaks and Griffins could settle their differences in ways that didnt pertain to public body shaming.

“I’ve got it!” Twilight proclaimed.

“I’ll enjoy a nice refreshing can of Monster Energy®. Maybe that will help me finish this homework faster.”

Twilight levitated a can of Monster out of the fridge and had that bitch cracked open before it was even halfway up the stairs. She then gulped it down like a freaking beast which made her eyes shine white and her wings grow a solid three centimeters in wingspan, she then broke through the roof of her library with one fell flap of her wings. Twilight landed on the head of the Mayor of Ponyville who was right in the middle of delivering a speech to the masses. Twilight grabbed the podium and spoke into the microphone.

“I’m Twilight Sparkle and if you have an issue with Griffins or Yak’s then you can go eat a hot bowl of dicks because we may not all look the same but we’re all the same on the inside and that’s what matters. Back to you mayor!” Twilight yelled before disappearing into yet another branch full of unsuspecting birds.

Meanwhile in Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash was limbering up for a warm up she was about to begin. She had a big airshow later that day and she needed to be in tip top shape for it. She made her way through the first obstacles with ease as this was her hundredth time doing this course. The cloud loops gave her some trouble but nothing she couldn't handle. Finally she was about to perform a sonic boom before she landed to finish up her session but the high winds and visible obstruction from the morning sun made things complicated.

“I’ve got it!” Rainbow Dash while still hovering in the air.

“I’ll get a Monster Energy® and crush that sonic boom!”

Rainbow Dash flew through the mess hall and snatched a Monster out of another ponies hand mid-sip and started slurping that thing down. I mean just chugging that thing, I mean she’s gonna need a shot of novocaine after all that S I P P I N G she’s doing.

Rainbow Dash finished the last drop and started slipping into a narrow tunnel of space and time that accelerated her into speeds faster than sound that sent her flying so fast over Ponyville that onlookers saw the clouds part like Moses just before a rainbow colored streak plummeted into a large group of trees that scared the everloving piss shit out of a group of unsuspecting birds.

Meanwhile at the Canterlot Boutique, Rarity was contemplating how she could up her sales for the quarter. The usual clientele that the balls, parties and bar mitzvahs bring in have been dwindling and Rarity was going to have to come up with a brand new line of casual wear that would help diversify her demographic.

“I’ve got it!” Rarity exclaimed with stars forming in her eyes.

“I’ll enjoy a nice cold refreshing can of Monster Energy®”

Rarity pulled the cover off of a vent revealing her stash of questionable substances. The contents of which were a half eaten bag of gummy bears, an empty bottle of whipped creme, a sticky picture of Trenderhoof and a can of Monster Energy®.

Rarity snapped the can open and drank the everloving shit out of that can, I mean she drank it like it was the last can of fluid left in the middle of the mojave desert. Endlessly metal sucking the green paint off of the label before suddenly being struck with inspiration. All of a sudden every needle, scissor and length of thread levitated to life with a misty green hue as they all feverishly started compiling the most extensive array of affordable, comfortable and trendy garments that only the most eligible bachelors in canterlot would enjoy. Soon the entire boutique was lined with shirts, shoes, scarves and hats for the entire public to enjoy, all before rarity ran crazily into a bunch of bushes for some reason which scared the crap out of a flock of unsuspecting bush dwelling birds.

MEANWHILE. At Apple Acres. Applejack had a deadline to deliver a heaping 206 baskets of apples to 14 different customers by the end of the day. This was a busy day for Applejack and she wasn’t sure if she would be able to reach her apple bucking quota by the end of the day. She decided she was gonna need a bit of help so she made her way into the barn and cracked the mini fridge open she had reserved for just this situation. Inside was a solid 24 cans of nice cool refreshing Monster Energy® which Applejack wasted no time in drinking. She smashed a whole can of Monster in ten seconds flat which seemed to barely have an effect on her.

“Huh normally I’m a might bit full of energy by now but just one can doesn't seem to be doing the trick. I better grab another.”

Applejack then chucked the finished can of Monster behind her and continued to slam a second can down. Like just downed that sucker like a bottle of champagne at the winner circle of the Indie 500.

Applejack then made a break for the apple orchard which then started to light up with constant shakes, quakes and rumbles brought on by Applejack's unrelenting kicks. Baskets upon baskets filled up with apples of every different kind. First 10 baskets, then 12 baskets and now 14 baskets were full but she wasn't gonna stop there. She kicked every tree in the orchard maybe three times over before jumping the fence and proceeding to kick every tree, bush, fern and shrub before disappearing off somewhere in the forest which scared the cousin lovin frick out of a family of unsuspecting birds.

Finally, as the day was reaching its end. Pinkie Pie was at Sugarcube Corner making the finishing touches on a birthday cake. Pinkie was exhausted from working all day. She only had a few more things to do before her day was over so she decided she might need a little kick.
‘I’ve got it!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed with her usual enthusiasm.

“I’ll have myself a delicious can of Monster Energy Registered Trademark.”

Piking opened an adjacent fridge door with the curl in her hair and pulled out a can of Monster Energy® out of the fridge. Which she began to crack open and tilt over for a sip. A single drop of Monster left the can and fell down towards Pinkie’s tongue in slow motion. The moment that drop of carbonated, highly caffeinated goo touched Pinkie’s tongue she began to degrees into a cake making tangent. Her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. Her Tongue hung limp out of the side of her mouth and her tail began to spin like the propeller of a fishing boat. She was unstoppable now. Her cakes were finished in a millisecond. Not knowing what to do with all of her excess energy, she began bouncing off the walls, knocking over flower pots and gift baskets, sending customers running and ducking behind cover before Pinkie began to reach critical mass and ripped a hole in the space time continuum. Shooting through space like a particle only to break through the laptop monitor belonging to an amateur writer for fimfic.neaskdEEEEEE

Unleash the Beast.

Comments ( 4 )

Does shilling a real-life drink really count as a crossover?

10788029
Yes the moster-verse is a massive in depth fandom. I'm supirsed it doesn't get more attention.

I would have figured with a pony as naturally hyper as Pinkie, it would have had the opposite effect and made her almost immediately fall asleep.

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