Time is not on your side, 'twould seem.

11896135
Is it ever.

Well holy damn! That twist at the end was something!

This story is quite the amazing one! The way you were able to portray the bleak situation the ponies found themselves in, the whole process of solving the whole thing! Very good!

I will say one thing though, the resolution of the conflict felt a bit rushed and a bit too easy! For how intimidating and powerful you made The Shadow out to be, he went down like a bitch! Really expected the process of taking him down would be a bit more gruelling!

Otherwise though, great job! Can't wait to see, what you have planned for the gang!

11903326
Thanks, as for the battle sequence, I didn't want it to drag on too much like an anime with flashbacks or to make it more than a chapter long.

I wanted to show the diplomacy, that fighting wasn't always the solution, even leading to her loss of life in the waking world, Plume and Shadow needed each other to survive but Plume was convinced of her well being.

In the end, I may add some more detail, but critics still need to be valid and I at least hope I did better than the Original story.

11903780
What, you're saying my criticism isn't valid?

11904134
Not at all, I was just explaining my resoning for making the battle sequence so short.

11906142
Well I wasn't exactly referring to the battle specifically, moreso the resolution of the entire conflict with the shadow! It felt like they gave up too easily, when they found out Twilight was returning to the castle with the boys, since you built him up as this very powerful and very intimidating being!

11906193
Ah! Sadly then my story didn't convey the guilt that the Shadow felt. The idea of it all being a mistake, an overreaction without being able to just say "sorry" was the baseline as I didn't want a villain to be villainous for "reasons". The idea was that Plume knew that she could never beat Galaxia, but the rage she felt for the loss of her family was what drove her on.

I saw it as a case study of the driving forces behind ones actions. She despised Galaxia but not her creations. The entire universe wasn't to pay for what she did, only her. Sadly her form of justice led to her being imprisoned and the idea of being outdone when in a fit of rage caused Plume to attack Twilight and the rest of equestria. As the Shadow's power grew from the desire of hatred, she severed Twilight's friendships with her friends in the Canterlot High, sowing the seeds of mistrust.

I will point out that both stories are loose continuations of each other as the first chapter of "The Princess & The Raiders was written when I was about 15 and was going through a "good v evil" phase. The Shadow was 1 dimensional with no backstory at the time so sadly there are a lot of discrepencies between the two stories.

11906240
Ah, that makes a lot of sense then!