Forgiveness

Author's Note:

Recommended listening: His Theme (Build Up Ver.)

High in the sky, the moon glows with Luna's grace. The air is cool and dry, the dirt path below my hooves soft and welcoming. Twilight Sparkle's castle rises to the north, a brilliant—though muted—spectrum of colors refracting through its crystalline pillars. Ponyville is beautiful at night, in its own quaint sort of way. At least I don't have to deal with the stares.

I meander away from the castle (I suppose it's my home now, isn't it?), following the winding trail around the outside of town. The architecture of this place is so tacky. It almost reminds me of where I grew up. I sigh. Why in Equestria Twilight wanted me to live here is beyond my comprehension. Is it pity? Fear?

"Does she want to keep an eye on me?" I ask aloud to the night. A nearby bush rustles gently in the breeze in response. Ever since leaving my village in the mountains it's been one long stream of whispers and stares from the residents of Ponyville.

"Who is that?" the foals would ask.

"Hush now, that's Starlight Glimmer, Princess Twilight's new student… I heard she kidnapped ponies and held them captive!"

"That's not what happened!" I wanted to scream. But nothing came out. I ran. I ran back to the castle. To the room Twilight gave to me. I ran and I cried. "I'm sorry!" I should have said. "I didn't mean for anypony to get hurt…" I shake my head, pushing the memory away. Looking ahead, the bridge leading out of Ponyville stands in the darkness. It would be so easy to simply leave. Run away.

Run away, like I always do.

I take a deep breath and cross the bridge.

I don't know what I expected to feel… But it certainly wasn't loss. "Get ahold of yourself, Starlight…" I find little comfort in the sound of my own voice. I press onward, further from town. The castle fades into the night behind me, leaving me with just the moon to guide my hoofsteps. It's so quiet out here.

So quiet.

So alone.

My breath catches in my throat. I feel tears welling up. "Why?" I whisper hoarsely. "Why am I crying?" I pitch off the trail, breaking into a gallop into the fields. I should be glad to leave! "Why aren't I happy?" I shout to the sky. The stars shimmer back at me. I close my eyes and run, letting the wind take my mane.

I have no idea how far from the road I am. It's a miracle I haven't fallen or run into something. Choking back tears, I slow to a trot, then a walk, then I stop. Looking around, I find myself in an open clearing just on the edge of some woods I don't know the name of. It's a good thing I stopped when I did—much further and I'd have run headlong into a tree! Small golden flowers dot the field; a variety I'm not familiar with. I'm shaking, and my breath comes in gasps. I find a small patch of flowers and lie next to it.

The tears roll down my cheeks. I don't stop them.

I don't want to.

The breeze picks up slightly, and for a moment all I can hear is its gentle whistle as the grasses and flowers around me seem to dance. My tired eyelids droop, and I rest my head on my forelegs.

"Psst!"

With a yelp, leap to my hooves. I look around, wide-eyed, my heartbeat thundering in my ears. "Wh-who's there?" Nopony seems to be around.

"Down here!"

I turn toward the squeaky, almost foal-like voice. Nothing but the golden flowers here…

"No, you silly pony. Down here!"

One of the flowers lifts itself up from the rest. The white center splits, and a pair of black eyes and mouth form. It's disturbingly cute.

"What—who are you?" I stammer.

The flower winks. "You can call me Flowey! All of my friends do!" The flower ducks, disappearing from view beneath the soil, then pops up again right between my front hooves. Reflexively, my horn sparks, and I release a blast of magic at it. As the dirt sprays, I rub my eyes from the sudden flash. "You know, that wasn't very nice of you!" the flower's voice chirps behind me.

"Y-yah! Flower, or Flowey, or whatever your name is, you can't just startle anypony you want like that!" I growl. I focus my magic, and the aura around my horn fades. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay! No harm done. I'm a tough little flower!" It giggles. "So what brings you all the way out here, silly pony?"

I grit my teeth. "My name is Starlight Glimmer. My… my friends call me Starlight." I glance away. "I needed somewhere to think. A lot's happened recently, and I don't know what to do."

"It can't be all that bad, Starlight!" it says, its stem growing to bring itself to my eye level. "After all, you still have friends who LOVE you. Don't you?"

Something in its voice makes me uneasy, but I can't put my hoof on what. "I think so. I mean, I live with the Princess of Friendship now, so…"

It gasps. "You live with Twilight Sparkle?" A little flower frown crosses its little flower face. "Then that means Twilight got her cutie mark, after all. Oh, and you must be the traveller!" It perks up with a smile. "And that means everything's okay again! Oh, Starlight Glimmer, you don't know how happy it makes me to hear that."

"I, you… What? Wh-what are you talking about?" I nervously take a step back.

It sticks its tongue out at me and winks again. "You and I aren't so different, you know. Well, you're a pony and I'm a flower, but we can ignore that." It giggles again, the same saccharine laugh, before its expression drops. "I felt the timeline being disrupted, so I came here to find out why. I wanna tell you a story, Starlight Glimmer, if you wanna hear it."

I nod, finding it impossible to think of anything to say.

"I had a friend once. A really good friend. My best friend. They…" it looks to the side. "They were taken from me. I thought I couldn't keep going without them." It sighs. "In my anger, I left my heart fill with HATE. And with this HATE, I…" It sniffs—I don't see a nose, but it is pretty dark out here.

"I turned into the monster they said I was. I took the SOULS of others, and used them to take control of the timeline. I wanted to ERASE the world. No… I wanted to ERASE myself. But it turns out…" It looks up to me, and I swear I can see tears running down its petals. "It turns out that one monster, no matter how insignificant, can change the world. I think that's what happened here. I think that's what happened to you."

"I…" my heart is pounding. "You're right, Flowey. When Twilight took my village away from me, I was so angry. I stole a time-travelling spell and tried to undo her entire life. I thought maybe then I'd get my own life back." My lips tremble. "I didn't realize that she was so important. I didn't think that one group of friends…" I let out a choked sob. "I almost destroyed everything, Flowey. Discord, Chrystalis, Tirek… I didn't even realize how bad it could be. Twilight managed to stop—Twilight saved me. She saved the world."

Flowey chuckles. "There's always something special about the ones who SAVE, isn't there?"

"How does your story end?" I ask. "You're here. The world is here. What happened?"

Flowey smiles sadly. "I met another one like my friend. I tried to take their SOUL too… but instead of fighting back, you know what they did?" I shake my head. "They SPARED me. I hurt them so much, and in the end, they forgave me. I thought I wanted to destroy this world and everything in it, but the one thing I couldn't let go is the same thing that SAVED me."

"What's that?"

"LOVE." There's a quiet shuffling sound, and Flowey's stem starts to pull back into the ground. "LOVE is the core of all friendships. I LOVED my friend too much to let them go… and if I ERASED everything, that meant I would ERASE them too." As the soil covers Flowey's face, it whispers, "Starlight Glimmer, you've been given a second chance. Show the world how much stronger your LOVE is. Twilight Sparkle forgave you…" I can barely make out its voice as the grass closes around it, "…you have to learn to forgive yourself."

"Wait!" I shout. I tamp the ground where Flowey disappeared. Solid… as if they were never even here. I spread the patch of golden flowers apart, searching for one with a face to no avail.

I couldn't have imagined it, could I?

I purse my lips. Flowey's right. I close my eyes, letting one last tear roll down my cheek as I turn back toward Ponyville. It's time for me to learn to move on. Learn to love instead of hate.

I won't let you down.

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