Hoover, a stallion from Ponyville, has seen a certain mare on the street, and has grown to like her. the thing is, she doesn't talk much. He has a talk with her father and finds out all he needs is time.
This is just a fanfic I wrote while bored, and it was entirely typed on an iPod, so please excuse any spelling errors.
Any and all feedback is appreciated greater than words can describe.
Also, if you happen to know of any artwork appropriate for this story, please let me know.
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HEEEEEEE!
I love Octavia! She is best pony! And you almost never see her without Vinyl somewhere! So to have this straight romance with her in it was awesome!
Beautifully written as well, one thing I would change is take out the chapter things. There are chapters on the site and this is short enough to just be a short story. With only one "chapter."
Hey people, some feedback would be nice. Like, Dislike, Favorite, Watch, Comment, anything. Please.
"Typed on Ipod"......
You lie sir... That is simply not possible....
Nobody can achieve that feat without losing their thumbs.
Unless....
1540923
Do share you prediction, noble reader.
1545379 ... Your thumbs aren't made of iron, are they?
I how long did it take to you type this up?
What is your average WPM?
1546320
Thumbs of steel, about a week per chapter, don't quite know what WPM is... or what it means...
1546320
OH! Words Per Minute? Is that what it is...?
Hmm... I really don't know... I'd say like... I've never timed it, though, but I'd say around 40-50.
But I don't really know what an average WPM might be, so yeah...
Also on a PC, I only time using three fingers on each hand. And staring at the keyboard.
Yeah.
1555145 ... It stands for Words Per Minute, yes.
... That's a bad habit, staring at the keyboard. I do it from muscle memory, with speeds of up to around 55 to 60 words per minute. Usually.
1556863
The thing is, when I'm staring at the keyboard, my eyes are focused like, three milimeters from what I'm writing
AHAHAHAHAhahahaha...ah...
Cos you know, iPod n' all.
But I see your point. I'm just really bad at typing the regular way.
This next chapter may very well be the last. I feel I've milked this a bit too much.
My views per chapter dramatically dropped at chapter 2, and I may be to blame for that. But all in all, this next chapter will be the last.
parked, laptop, called, hair(vs. mane), arms (4), tv, bath & body works, skin, iHome, The Beatles, mid-chapter extended time lapse, coat, iPod.
just pointing out some things that broke continuity for me in this chapter. You might consider getting in a pony mindset before writing. What I've noticed from this chapter is while the weak character interactions are somewhat excusable, the seperation from the setting and character physiology are rather off-putting. oh well, on to the next chapter,
-BuckShot
massive time lapse, wedding not shown - only mentioned, another mention of cars, random rape, OOC rapist and OOC spontaneous savage beating, software engineer, computers, cripple playing the cello, hair
same as last comment
chicken for dinner? ponies are strict herbavores.
dinner prayer? pony religion has no deity to pray to.
pony joe's is in canterlot, not ponyville.
1686357
Jesus Christ, bro. I'm sorry. I was just trying to modern-ize it a bit.
Okay... The next fic I post, I'll make it as ponied-out as I can, 'kay?
1700215
sorry about the listing, i just really cant stand fics like this. also, i will read the next fic and critique it accordingly ^_^
1707705
About the time lapses, I kinda rushed through chapter one with the time lapse, and I kinda miss writing in that mindset, so I'm writing another fic to go with this, telling what happened in between. This will include between the prologue and chapter 1, during the war, the car wreck, the wedding, honeymoon, various dates, developing major parts in their relationship, and other stuff that could have possibly happened in between.
Yeah... this story had little to no planning involved... Gotta work on that.