When We Fall Apart

by Alicia Van Hammer

When We Fall Apart...

It was a sunny morning in Ponyville.

Rarity sat at the small desk that was her nightstand. The white surface gleamed amidst a trim of delicate filigree and soft pink rosettes as the sunlight shone in from the bay side window of her upstairs apartment. Her deep sapphire eyes sparkled as she looked out that window over Ponyville. The street outside was peaceful. Happy ponies went about their business as they did every day, peaceful little lives, happy little lives.

"Was it ever all just that simple...?"

She lifted a wineglass to her lips in the blue aura of her unicorn magic and took a sip. The deep, hearty flavor of the stiff red clung to her palette and sharpened her thoughts, bringing her back to focus on the paper before her.

Rarity had begun keeping a journal some time ago, a common enough practice among young colts and fillies. As she had gotten older she'd found that many ponies scoffed at the idea as a fancy of youth best left behind. Staring at the paper now, the alabaster mare wondered how those ponies could get along without one. How uncomplicated their lives must be to not need such a place to unburden themselves. She envied those ponies in a way. Being a big sister was difficult enough a task on it's own, Celestia knew it. However- a business owner, the Element of Generosity, now one of the advisors to the sole ruling princess of Equestria, her life was complicated, strenuous in more ways than her younger self could have ever imagined. Looking back it felt as if it was more like a barely contained maelstrom than the walk in the park of her youth.

She floated the quill from a nearby ink pot and returned to scratching away at the paper, transforming the heavy thoughts in her mind into indigo characters on the book's pages before they had a chance to give her any more wrinkles...

Were we ever all just so simply happy? Perhaps it's just time, the years catching up to me, wearing on my memory like baggage to a over-encumbered bellhop but it sometimes feels like I can hardly recall much of life before Twilight Sparkle came into town. The sweet simplicity of my fillyhood, I know it was there. I know it happened but it often feels as if this has always been our lot, to be the heroes of Equestria, to be the ones who shone as the elements of harmony...

The sparkle of her gorgeous eyes faded slightly as a pang of sorrow crept into her vision.

"...to set an example for others."

She hadn't intended to speak those words aloud.

Maybe the alcohol was beginning to get to her head. How long had she sat here? Then again, perhaps she still needed more...

Sorrow took it's seat in her heart and was joined shortly on that bench by the sharp, stinging presence of it's more malicious cousin, guilt. The pair took up position on a bench somewhere in the park just behind her heart, between her shoulders and her conscience as she took another sip of the wine.

The quill continued scratching...

The six of us came together so long ago. Twilight brought us together.. She, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and I. As different as the seasons we were and each as stubborn and headstrong as the tides, if in our own fashion. Still, as if some greater purpose had guided us, we became something so much more than 'friends'. It was as if our lives, our destinies had always been inexorably intertwined, our futures, set in such a way that nothing could stop us, nothing could ever separate us. Time after time, villain after villain, we faced the threats to Equestria and withstood them all. Nightmare Moon, Queen Chrysalis, Tirek, one after another, they fell to the strength of the bonds that held us. Forces of nature, tidal waves all, fearsome, threatening to engulf the land in darkness and misery yet each one shattered- breaking against the wall that was our friendship.

She paused, turning once more to look out the window at the street below. Her apartment was housed on the second floor of her ever-expanding boutique and overlooked a few of the shoppes in the more commercial part of the sleepy little town of Ponyville. Across the simple dirt path that ponies called a road she could see the pleasant sweetie shoppe that was also a second home for her friends Bon-bon and Lyra Heartstrings. It was a far more conventional confectioners than Sugar Cube Corner, a building less shaped like a food item. There was something charming about that to her, normally. Today however, the sight seemed to trouble Rarity, bringing a crease to her brow and offering shade to the two unpleasant visitors on the bench in her heart- inviting them to stay for a spell...

Looking through her window, the sun shone brightly. Down below- Lyra shook the dust out of the welcome mat at the sweetie shoppe's entrance as she waved a friendly greeting at a passing couple. The minty green mare looked back to her wife from the entrance. Even from this distance it was impossible to miss her barrel swelling with pride. The familiar grey pegasus, Muffins fluttered along clumsily with her new marefriend, Bee-keeper, was it? Yellow-jacket? It was so hard to keep up with that mare and her notoriously amorous nature. AppleBloom raced down the street in a bolt of crimson, fleeing the wrath of a pursuing Diamond Tiara. Honestly, the way those two carried on... She wished they'd just hurry up and get it over with... Oh the time-wasting arrogance of youth...

Rarity's deep sapphire eyes took in the lot of it with a misty gleam of pity.

Regret.

The wind gently danced, carrying with it the flyaway petals of flowers, freshly cut and waiting to be sold in the market. The clear sky rung with laughter, the clip-clop cadence of traveling hooves and the humdrum buzzing of playful foals as they wiled away the springtime of their lives in blissful ignorance. A kite sailed by the window, carried aloft by innocent unknowing joy.

The day was so warm, so genial, so happy...

So naively unaware of what transpired, right under it's nose.

"I wonder... what will it take to pull us apart..."

Rarity set down the quill in it's ink pot and turned to the window. The soulful thoughts behind her eyes were weary, restless. Though her outward visage was one of troubled-yet-regal alabaster beauty, inside she was as heavy and colorful as the deep luster of the red wine in her glass. With a heavy sigh and heavier heart she watched her old friend Fluttershy come in for a graceful landing in front of the candy shoppe to meet with a familiar cyan pegasus inside...

Her fiance...

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Rainbow Dash sat patiently at the table, munching away at a series of small crispy treats. Bon-bon called them "Which-a-ma-do-its". Their construction was a mystery. She knew they had peanut-butter, nuts, little crispy things, some kind of chocolate and who knew what else in them. Whatever they were, they were sweet, fatty and incredibly tasty.

She could never muster the courage to tell her friends but she always preferred coming to Bon-Bon's shoppe over Sugar Cube Corner.

Sure Pinkie was her friend, one of her best friends, and the Cake family were great and all.... The cupcakes were usually delicious and the little creme-filled eclair things they had from time to time were just to die for but when her hyperactive party-pony friend took a wild hair up her bouncy pink plot there was no telling WHAT she would try to experiment with in terms of ingredients. It was bad enough that Pinkie always tried to force pies on her but the occasional surprise cupcake could have results requiring medical attention.

As she recalled it, the "Dragon Lord's Temptation" sounded far better in name than the tabasco-chipotle-jalapeno nightmare which she had bitten into. Her natural love for spicy foods aside, there were just some things you put into a cupcake, some you didn't. That bizarre little red cake was the stuff prison riots were made of, just as bad coming in as going out. She'd considered asking Pinkie for a few dozen to send them to the dungeons of Tartarus as her own little love letter to that little jerk, Cozy Glow.

After turning the trio of Tirek, Queen Chrysalis and the tiny pegasus to stone several years ago, their statue had become something of a tourist attraction. Resting in the center of town, ponies came from all over Equestria to take a photo with it. Young creatures from headmare Starlight's Friendship School would often blow off steam during more difficult class periods by defacing it in one way or another. Even she and her friends on the high-flying world-famous Wonderbolts had pulled a few pranks on the trio of figures. She recalled several of the more rude images on the walls of their locker room with a chuckle. Even she and Spitfire had a few shots they'd taken with the stonework prisoners. Her favorite was probably a toss-up between the one with Spitfire shoving her plot in Chrysalis' face and the one where they both did pull-ups off Tirek's horns. It was funny what you would get from the stress of a few nights of long workouts and the fuel of a LOT of the Apple Family's hard cider.

It was something of a surprise one day when Discord had pleaded for their release to Twilight. After being trapped in stone himself for all those centuries, it seemed he actually felt pity for them, being aware of the world around them, hearing, seeing, feeling everything yet being unable to move or act. Seeing the draconequis so emotional about someone besides himself was still an odd sight in Dash's memory. He'd only ever shown such emotional depth for Fluttershy. Ugh. Those debates had been a mess. Still, to show compassion for those evil sacks of-

"Dashie?"

The soft voice shook her from her well-worn dreams of petty pranks and revenge. Rainbow Dash looked up from stabbing at her small chocolate crisp effigy of past villainy to the soft smiling face of her fiance, Fluttershy.

The buttercream Pegasus had only grown more gentle in her beauty with the years since their days of adventure as The Elements of Harmony. She had grown out her long, graceful mane even further, trailing from her temple to glide almost magically above the floor like the soft flow of a velvet waterfall. She wore a wreath of daisies and honeysuckle in it today. Her eyes glimmered in such simple, innocent beauty. Crystals of water, teal, a hint of emerald, aquamarine, it was like looking down into the ocean from her cloudy perch in the sky. The subtle hints of crows feet, forming at the edge did nothing to lessen that unbelievable stare, so gentle, such natural beauty. She could spend all day in those eyes.

She'd watched her grow, all these years. That awkward little filly she'd stood up for back at flight school... the gangly young mare she'd defended from bullies time and again in their teen years... the mare whom she'd stood shoulder to shoulder with as they faced down the Lord of Chaos himself... and now, the mature blossom of nature stood before her as a vision, soon to be her wife.

Her wife...

Rainbow shook herself free from the pink clouds of romance and nostalgia to rise and embrace the soft yellow pegasus. She nuzzled her affectionately, eliciting a pleasantly demure purring. The scent of her mane filled Rainbow's senses. She even smelled like flowers- and not just the garland she wore. Like an extra pair of hands, the feathers of their wings folded together as the two mares embraced. She felt along the soft yellow tines with her wing-digits. Even Flutters' feathers were somehow softer and more gentle than those of other pegasi. Where Rainbow's were firm, finely-tuned instruments, hammered into daggers by her countless hours of high-speed stunt-flying, hers were softer, fluffy almost, cushioned and pliant, like a face-full of loose cotton. The one Rainbow wore tied into her mane didn't do the rest of her justice, remotely.

She was a child of the forest... everything about her was so beautiful.

Everything...

Almost imperceptibly, a small red dagger flew across Rainbow's magenta eyes as a tiny, shrill, notion of venom streaked along the back of her mind.

The two mares pulled apart and shared a soft kiss before Rainbow pulled out a cushion for her fiance. Fluttershy thanked her and daintily lowered herself to the seat. With a sharp WHAP, Rainbow playfully swatted her on the plot, causing her to squeal and jump. The Wonderbolt leered mischievously, bringing up a rosy blush to her soft yellow cheeks.

Her giggle was as dainty and demure as everything else about her. Even after all these years, looking at her from across the table, Rainbow couldn't believe it. It was like looking at an angel. A real-life angel, floated down from some magical place even HER wings couldn't fly. Fallen from the great beyond of Faust to land here, with her- promised to be her bride. In so many ways, she was the luckiest mare alive.

The dagger gleamed once more, a mote in the eye, almost invisible.

Peppermint Twist approached the table with notepad in hoof and squee'd in delight to see the couple. She bounced up and down like Pinkie Pie, causing the temple chain on her horn-rimmed glasses to flop about wildly as she leaned in with hooves outstretched. She shared a hug with each individually, elated at their impending nuptials, bouncing up and down like a filly half her age. Looking at the young mare, sometimes it was hard for Rainbow to see her as anything but the gangly, awkward little thing she had been just a few years ago. It seemed like just yesterday, the sunny earth pony was more freckles than face, barely able to see out from under her mane of floppy red curls and constantly fighting her lisp. These days she had grown into her glasses. The coming of adulthood had filled her out and working at Bonnie's sweet shoppe had given her a much-needed boost of confidence that gave plenty of local stallions and more than a few mares a reason to come calling.

Peppy took their order. Fluttershy giggled in her demure, dainty way, hiding a soft blush behind a hoof. She picked over the menu briefly, asking for an order of honey-glazed dandelion puffs, light and simple, watching her figure for the dress Coco Pommel had designed for the coming Big Day. Despite having demolished two baskets of the chocolate-covered "which-a-ma-hoogies" earlier, Rainbow felt her stomach grumbling at the thought of the confections. Filling her days with severe flight drills and hours of high-speed stunt-flying had a high-calorie price-tag so she ordered up another run of the tasty crispy mystery things and a side of Bon-Bon's special "Heartstrings Mint-bliss".

Fluttershy's blush intensified as Rainbow made the order. Her eyes lowered to the table with the heat rising in her cheeks. When Lyra and Bonnie had finally tied the knot it had been a big occasion in Ponyville. The confectioner had always been a popular face in town and her wife had become something of a celebrity in musical circles. To mark the occasion, Bonnie had added the signature treat to the menu. For just two bits, a customer could enjoy two delicious little lumps of creamy mint-chocolatey goodness with a crispy little honey-sugar harp on one side. Of course, Rainbow had made the remark to Fluttershy on their first official date as to what it reminded her of. With a smouldering leer, Dash leaned over her plate, taking the opportunity to show off the advantages of having a dexterous tongue to her new marefriend.

Peppy took their menus and the two engaged in the idle chit-chat and gossip long-time friends often do. The animal sanctuary was approaching it's ten-year anniversary. Discord had remarked several times about having something special in mind that had set everyone's nerves on high-alert. Yona's days at the friendship school had attracted other Yak students, whose presence in Ponyville was always interesting. Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara had become quite the item these days, a constant source of frustration and confusion to her elder sister.

Their treats arrived and the two mares wiled away the next hour or so, meandering from topic to topic in friendly rumor-mongering and genial prattle.

They gobbled up the snacks, making another order for some cherry fizzies to sip on as the conversation trailed along.

Dash twirled her straw in the carbonated liquid with a wry smile. "So what kept you all afternoon, baby?"

"Kept me?" The pegasus tilted her head to the side. A haze of confusion whittled across her brow with the tumbling of her pink mane concealing her eye. "What do you mean, Rainbow?"

"You were supposed to be here hours ago, Flutters. Don't you remember? Our date was supposed to be at noon."

Fluttershy looked from her fiance to the sugary fizzling in her drink as her thoughts mimicked the bubbles. "Was it? I must have gotten carried away at the Sanctuary."

Rainbow rolled her eyes and poked at the little poof of whipped topping which crowned her drink. She always liked to save that for last. She chuckled. "Seriously? Again?"

Fluttershy blushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, baby. You know how I can get so wrapped up in things, especially with the wedding only a few days away..."

Rainbow's lips twirled into a wry smirk as she took a long sip on her drink. Deep behind the magenta haze, the light glinted off the knife's blade. With a belch which Applejack would've rated a paltry 3 on the Apple Family scale of eructation she continued. "Celestia's sake, Flutters. Has it really been THAT busy?"

The butter cream pegasus nodded anxiously. "Oh my, yes. With Bulk on vacation in Appaloosa we don't have our chiropractor services so I've had to do double-duty, too. Giving an anaconda an adjustment is a very involved process.

Rainbow's brows arced upwards at the mention of the colossal serpent. "Wow... I can imagine working the kinks out of that monster must be tough." She plucked a cherry from the mound of whipped topping and popped it into her mouth. "And without Bulk, too... You did that all by yourself?"

Fluttershy nodded emphatically. "Mnhmm. You know the poor dear would be suffering without the extra attention... especially with the change in the weather lately."

Rainbow nodded as her marefriend continued, taking another long guzzle of her fizzy liquid heart-attack. Somewhere, in the magenta palette of her vision, the dagger flew by again.

"...and poor Bertie, you know he's getting up in years. His poor bear feet need a few extra rubs just to get the knots out."

"Bertie?" She straightened in her seat. "You know, I hadn't even thought about that. He always looks so spry, you know?" Rainbow pantomimed with outstretched hooves overhead. "I mean, he's a bear and all. RAWR! It's so hard to tell. I don't know how you do it."

"Oh it's not so hard when you know what you're doing. You just have to know how to listen to what the poor dears need."

"Yeah... that must be tough."

Rainbow sipped at her drink and studied her fiance with an intense stare. Fluttershy had always been modest, shrinking under even the slightest attention. That was something that didn't seem to have dulled with age, either. From as far back as Rainbow could recall, she truly lived up to her name. When the little jerk stallions in school would catcall her from across the playground, she would practically come unglued. If she had a bit for every time she'd had to cuff one upside the head for that... As her magenta gaze traveled the soft contours of her face, Fluttershy shrank into her mane, a blush bubbling around her cheeks.

Rainbow chuckled as she watched the display.

"Thinking about how busy you must be at the Sanctuary these days, I mean... with so much going on... ponies on vacation... new animals coming in all the time... This one gets sick, that one has a litter of babies... Oo- and that new butterfly ..." She gestured in a circular motion with a hoof, digging at the air for the word she needed. Twilight was the one with all the fancy words. "...errr... thingie... uh... happilap? ...hoppidop? .... hot-to-trot..." Twilight... Twilight...

Fluttershy paused from nursing on her drink to throw the proud pegasus a line. "Habitat?"

Rainbow bopped a hoof on the table, causing her panicky fiance to eep in alarm. "Hapithat! Yeah! That thing..."

Fluttershy giggled and returned her attentions to her straw, wiping a small dollop of whipped topping from her cheek, sent flying by Rainbow's outburst. "...Habithap. You guys have so much to do. No wonder you lose track of time so often, hunh?"

Fluttershy nodded demurely in response as she sipped at her drink, almost hiding behind the over-sized glass of ruby fizzing liquid candy. "I guess so... I'm sorry. At least I wasn't too late today, right?"

"Nah... of course not." Rainbow smiled and looked out the window at the ponies walking by.

Time Turner was galloping by- in a hurry, as always. He was such an odd one... You could never get a straight answer from that stallion about anything, him and all his weird 'science' talk. The familiar grey pegasus, Muffins was purchasing a little wooden figurine for her daughter, Dinky-doo, from Canter Carver's stand. Dinky hopped up and hugged her mother's neck with a smile that could melt ice cream at twenty paces. Those two were always so cute. It was almost enough to make Rainbow want a filly of her own. It looked like she had one of her mismatched golden eyes set on Lemony Jewel this time. Rainbow smirked. She had to admit- you wouldn't think it to look at her but Muffins was a FAST-mover. Her gaze trailed up the street to the familiar site of purple crystals, rising spires and sparkling towers, the second home of the Elements of Harmony, the Castle of Friendship. Her brow bunched in consideration. "Wait... are you sure that was today?"

"I'm pretty sure, yes. Why?"

Rainbow set her chin and scratched at her spiky unkempt mane with a hoof. "Weirdest thing. I just remembered something. I was talking with somepony just earlier y'know... while I was waiting and they said they saw you leaving the Castle of Friendship earlier."

Fluttershy's eyebrow arched. "Really?" She touched a hoof to her lips and looked into her drink. "How strange... Who said that?"

"Hunh..." What did it matter, who? "Who was that...? Lyra maybe...? Or was it ... Maybe it was Pinkie... I dunno."

"I wonder who would tell you such a thing..."

"Yeah... maybe you're tired from all that back-crackin' and stuff and you got your days mixed up or something?"

Fluttershy brushed at her mane to keep it from running afoul of the whipped topping on her drink. A bit too slow on the draw, she picked at a unruly sticky glob of cherry candy topping rampaging through her tresses. "...I may have..."

Rainbow pushed aside her empty glass with a sigh, watching her fiance battle with the glistening ruby sweetie. The battle didn't seem to be going in Flutters' favor. Her soft yellow hooves raked at the waves of her mane in a futile effort. It only seemed to drive the candy to hide deeper in the pink forest of hair, a tiny guerilla warrior of diabetic doom. As the mare swatted and picked at her sugary opponent Rainbow spied the familiar sight of a single sky-blue feather in her mane- her feather.. her primary feather. When Rainbow proposed to her childhood love the pair made the traditional exchange of primary-feathers pegasi lovers did as a symbol of their commitment. In their instance the mares had gone a step further. At the suggestion of Lotus, one of the sisters who worked at the Ponyville Spa, they had engaged Rarity's services to take a few snips of each of their manes and craft a colorful braided cord. With the colourful tiny rope each of the mares would affix the token of affectionate promise in their lover's mane. It had been a task the romance-obsessed Rarity was all-too-happy to perform, giggling with glee as she wove the strands of hair in a careful ballet forming twin cords of pink, red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. They exchanged primary feathers during a fireworks display on a hillside overlooking the town one night, sealing their engagement with a tearful kiss.

Thinking back, it was easily one of the most beautiful moments of Rainbow's life.

The red glint twisted about, the knife carving a acrid turn behind her iris.

Rainbow smiled a tired smile in a moment of nostalgia as the tiny rainbow rope wiggled about. Dancing and darting, it was like a baby serpent atop the sky-blue calamus of her gift to her love.

Fluttershy finally managed to pluck the sticky offender from her mane. With a slight grimace she daintily placed it in a napkin and pushed it aside. "Oh! You know what, I think you're right. I WAS thinking about last week."

"Oh?"

"Yes. I did swing by the castle! I needed a book of lullabies to read to the little baby armadillos."

"Armadillos?"

"Yes." Fluttershy's eyes sealed into the most pleasant of half-moon smiles. "Armadillo babies are so cute but they're very fussy sleepers, you know. I was thinking if I could get just the right bedtime song it might help them drift off to beddy-bye. So, I swung by the library in the castle and asked Twilight if she had any."

"Armadillo bedtime stories?" Rainbow's brows knitted incredulously.

"Unhunh. We got to looking through so many books. It was very important that I get the right one, you see. That way I could have more time to spend on planning the wedding details for us."

Rainbow's jaw clenched as she tapped a hoof at the glass. With a snoft of her nostrils, she let out a long sigh.

In her eyes, the blackness of the iris was interrupted. The red gleam paused. The blade turned.

"You two must've gotten all carried away looking through books, hunh...?"

Fluttershy tittered. Leaning backward, she sing-song pantomimed an imitation of their long-time friend. "Oh you know how she is. Twilight will go on and on... Here we have a collection from the age of Stormwing The Swift in the century of..." She paused, looking into the strands of her mane, cross-eyed. The candy had left a trail of little sticky red footprints in it's wake. "I still wonder who told you."

The blade found it's mark- cutting through lens and staining her vision crimson.

"I wonder what it'll be next time..."

"What?"

"Studying llama-spots... cheetah marital problems... maybe diseases of badger-wings..."

"Sweetie, badgers don't have wings..."

"Yeah..." Her nostrils flared as her voice lowered to something just shy of a growl. "...and you know you didn't need a book."

Fluttershy balked at the sudden shift in Rainbow's tone. "Wh- what are you talking about? I told you I did."

Rainbow Dash exploded, slamming a hoof on the table and raising her voice dramatically. "Dammit, Flutters, can you JUST be honest with me?"

Fluttershy jerked back, shocked at the outburst. "Dashie, what's wrong?"

"Oh for Celestia's sake, would you DROP the horse-apples, PLEASE?!" the cyan pegasus pleaded.

Fluttershy's head shook slowly, aghast in stunned confusion. "Rainbow Dash... what are you trying to say?"

"How many times has it been now, Flutters? How... HOW Many...?"

"Rainbow, I-"

"I KNOW, Flutters." Rainbow touched a hoof to her chest. The emphasis was written in stone, cold and immovable. Her magenta eyes bore into Fluttershy like the fangs of a viper. Their venom sank into her heart and melted into the pit of her stomach. "I know..."

The shoppe had grown silent. Behind the counter Bon-bon tried her best to not look at the couple, shooing Lyra back into the kitchen and making herself invisible. Some nearby customers left their tables, scurrying from the scene.

Rainbow Dash suddenly looked so tired, so scared. She wasn't angry. No. The anger in her eyes was a finely tuned beam of outrage, cutting through her partner in a white-hot needle but that was just something in her eyes, a separate entity entirely from the reality that was this moment. The rest of her was shaking, sick, in agony. Her lip quivered as tears formed in those eyes and her chest heaved. The hardest words she'd ever spoken turned the air between them into a marshland of cold, poison and death.

Her eyes remained affixed on her fiance, as unmovable as the stone in her words. Shaking, the hoof lowered from her barrel to rest on the table.

"I... KNOW..."

Fluttershy tried to look away but couldn't. The mare she had loved since childhood, who had protected her from her every fear- time and again, the saviour who had safeguarded her very life was shaking, quivering with rage and ill with torment she had denied for too long.

"I.. Dashie.... I di... I didn't..."

"DON'T, okay. Just BUCKING... DON'T. I am NOT the element of STUPID, Flutters..."

Rainbow tapped the cyan hoof to her chest as the first tear streaked down her cheek leaving a murky swamp-green trail in it's wake. The daggers in her eyes felt like they were as real as the sun in the sky, cutting so painfully. Her heart had stopped beating. She couldn't feel it. Her stomach had turned into ice. The chill of the sickness in the deep pit of her gut crept up her spine. Sweet Faust, she was dying. How could it hurt like this? Her face- It was hot, burning, stinging painfully with the tears as she heard the words coming from her mouth. They tasted like decay, rotten and foul. She wanted to bite down, wanted to stop the words. Maybe if she did it would keep them from being real. Maybe everything could stop. Maybe it would all just be a dream and everything could just be the way it was. Maybe they could be happy again? She felt like she was going to vomit.

"I... know..."

Fluttershy's brows folded upwards. She bit her lip. It was over.

She was caught.

Even knowing the truth all these months... knowing this moment was coming, nothing could have prepared Rainbow for seeing that look. Those eyes, that guilt... it WAS real. ALL of it...

Rainbow wept.

Her body shook as she sobbed, shaking her head from side to side. A high-pitched squeal bellowed from deep within her chest as her lips curled inward. Her shoulders buckled down. Her head hung low. This sound, It was unlike any sound Fluttershy had ever heard from a pony. No foal's cry of nighttime terror- no mare's outcry of pain in labour, nothing matched the pure and horrifying keening coming from the cyan pegasus across the table.

This was a soul wronged, burning in hell.

This was the sound of true anguish.

This was the final sound of love when it died.

Fluttershy sat perfectly still, a mute, helpless observer to the slow-motion catastrophe.

Snot trailed from her nostrils in sickening globs as Rainbow rallied herself to go on. The words- oh sweet Celestia, she didn't want to say them. She didn't want this. Please, no. Please. She couldn't stop herself. PLEASE? The truth she had held back for so long- TOO long, it wouldn't let her keep lying to herself.

"I kept thinking... I ke- I kept thi- thinking... maybe you would stop. " Rainbow choked and panted between words, fighting for every breath, fighting to form every word, fighting to keep her heart beating. The pain- the Goddamn PAIN. She hugged herself tightly, shaking. "You know?" She smiled in a bizarre, twisted mockery of joy. The edge of madness. Her eyes still pleaded to her beloved for it all to be a lie. PLEASE, somehow, make it all be a lie.

"M- Maybe..." She was dying. It was so cold inside her. Her lungs were filled with tombstones and poison. How could her skin feel so hot? It was so hot, burning. She could hardly breathe. So sharp, every breath was so sharp- like two sacks of rusted nails and discarded medical waste in her barrel. They cut her- jagged bits of loathing, tearing her into ribbons, it was KILLING her. No, please, no, she was dying. Sitting on this stool in this damn candy shoppe, she was bucking DYING.

She looked to the silent mare, her eyes pleading, desperate. There was no longer a hint of pride. "M- maybe if I just kept loving you. Maybe THAT would be enough... maybe you'd see..." She paused. Her sweet... soft... innocent... beautiful... fiance... "M... Maybe-be... you'd see m-me..." Her lips curled inward again, her chin pitting into a knotted fist as the tears streamed down her cheeks in a trail of horror. Her eyes, begging, crawling from their sockets and groveling on their knees pleading to her beloved for understanding over and over again, a million-million times a second, pleading for it all to be a lie. "Maybe you'd see how ... how HARD I was.... I was trying... and y-you'd LOVE m-me agai- Oh FAUST WhHYyY?!"

The so-proud Wonderbolt screamed to the ceiling.

"WHYYYYYyyyyy?!"

"WHHYYYYYYYYYY?!!"

The scream broke as her voice disappeared into a hissing squeal.

Shattered.

What sat on that stool wasn't a mare.

It was a handful of shards.

Sharp edges.

A discarded, cracked thumbtack.

Broken picture frame.

An album of photos of children, photo after photo, a hall of treasured memories, two smiling mares growing old together, a lifetime of memories entrusted to the one who held her every night, the one she shared each sweat-soaked night of passion, every dream, every hope, every promise, a hoof being held at the bedside of a wrinkled, feeble, dying old soul, unafraid to finally let go for she was at peace, looking into the eyes of-

A lie.

A lie.

Liar.

You.

You Bucking LIAR...

Rainbow Dash coughed, sputtered, gagging on the thoughts as they turned red, the daggers in her eyes carving across them, removing each little hope and dream from her future, severing those last strands of gossamer hope as their fingers clawed and scrabbled for purchase, one last time before plunging away into that black pit of vomit, oil and decay where her heart had been.

Somehow, through the tears, she could still see her across the table. As she looked through the wet spikes of her mane and wiped aside the spider-web of snot that had formed, she still saw the soft yellow mare.

Somehow though, she was different. This mare... this thing... this was the real Fluttershy. This was the mare whom she had held in her hoofs, smiling, mere hours after she had lain with HER. This was her childhood friend and sweetheart whom she had laughed with, soaring through the sky together as she still quaked from spending herself with HER. THIS Fluttershy... THIS was the filly she had protected, the life she had saved, time and again, the first lips she had kissed and the hoof she pledged to hold until the day she died- this was the mare who had promised her to spend eternity together- after she spread herself like a plucked flower... with HER.

Her trusted friend.

Twilight.

This was the real Fluttershy.

Her illusions were all dead now.

...and she was not so beautiful.

Rainbow coughed, choking down the sobs as the waves of agony finally ebbed. What was inside her before, the warmth of sweet Summer was gone. She could feel it, slipping away, like the scent of springtime flowers on the wind. Something inside her threw out it's hoofs, still trying OH SO FOOLISHLY to grasp at the burnt out embers of a dream she was too STUPID to let go.

But it was too late.

She felt it.

Her heart was truly dead now. Not cold. Not angry.

Dead.

Her eyes were empty, pitiless and without remorse as she looked to the buttercream mare. Though the rims were red- blood-red, straining under the weight of her screams of bodily torment, the rest of her eyes was dead. The dancing joy and zest for life was gone from the magenta orbs which had eagerly toasted to every moment they had shared, every promise entrusted, every hope shared. That light was gone now, replaced with a clarity as cold, unfeeling and stark as a field of snow in the arctic. Somewhere in the ice, an animal carcass lay, it's last gasp uttered, it's guts spilled into a cold too empty and devoid of energy to even bleed.

That was their love now.

"I'm still a virgin, you know..." Rainbow spoke. The voice was her own again but at the same time it wasn't. It was somehow older, SO old, so empty and hollowed out, like a lantern without flame. "I saved myself for you, just like we promised."

Fluttershy still looked to the floor. She couldn't bear to see those eyes. The sight of them, that look, that cold, empty HATE- it was more dark and terrible than anything she'd ever seen.

Rainbow chuckled. Somehow, the empty ache of that mockery of joy made the air even more unbearable, like a corpse coughing rust and sand into Fluttershy's face- a heartless, cold night sky with no love for the moon or stars. With a slight turn of her lips, a grim parody of a smile, Rainbow slowly shook her head. "Even when you came to me, stinking of her... when you lied, time and again, I saved myself. For you. I kept my word." Rainbow thumped a hoof to her chest, her words turning to soured tin in the air. "I... Kept... my Bucking...word... Fluttershy..."

The darkness swelled, flexing it's muscles inside Rainbow Dash now. The rainbow mane that was her crown and namesake was a baleful bit of irony now, nothing more. There was no light, no. There was nothing left alight and alive. What was in her now was the darkness and ugliness that had festered for months. Watered and enriched with every lie- nourished with the scent of every betrayal- THIS foulness was the thing she had denied purchase with every moment she hoped and every excuse she made. THIS was all that was left now. THIS was the new paradigm that was her.

"Oh I knew. I KNEW..." The word trailed off. She paused to look around the shoppe to the few other customers who hadn't yet left. Several couples tried not to look at the horror show happening just a few tables away from them. Most had the decency to at least pretend they couldn't hear her. NONE of them could meet the hurt in her accusatory stare

Some of them knew why it was there.

"The whole Damn TOWN... knew..." She bit down on the words forming. Her teeth gnashed on them, tore into their gristle and ripped at the raw, bloodless meat as the fangs of a beast, snarling in contempt for the light that had betrayed it. Cursing and filthy, spitting at the idiotic hope that had damned it to this Hell. "You just KEPT doing it though. You went back to her, time after time after Bucking time... All the while, there I was... Good Ol' Dashie... Element of LOYALTY..."

She seethed.

The dagger struck a spark in the bile rising in her neck.

There it was.

There was the anger.

There. The fury.

Fluttershy scooted her stool. "I should leave-"

"You SIT the BUCK DOWN."

Rainbow glared at her, thrusting a hoof in her direction.

"You earned this... Now, you sit there and you LISTEN..."

The yellow pegasus cowered, her one shred of resolve crumbling and withering- a dead, lifeless flower. Somehow, hearing those words made the ice and vomit in her throat feel all the more real. As she shrank back to her cushion, the hoof lowered. Rainbow's pursed lips quivered slightly and she continued.

"You said you loved me."

Somehow, Fluttershy mustered the courage to speak. "Rainbow I swear I didn't-"

"You SAID you wanted ME to be your FIRST..."

"Rainbow, I'm sorry, I-"

"NO!! BUCK you! NO! NO!" Rainbow pointed a hoof, growling and sneering with narrowed eyes. "YOU don't get to be 'SORRY'. Okay? You don't KNOW 'SORRY', Flutters. You don't BUCKING KNOW you filthy, sick, lying piece of..."

Rainbow Dash bit down hard. From the corner of her eye she saw it. Across the room a couple sat. Two other mares held hoofs, younger by a few years than she and Fluttershy were. In one of their laps, nestled, protected, sat a little filly. It was so young, so tiny and sweet, precious. It cried. Looking at her, it cried. Had it been crying? How long had it been crying?

They were going to have a filly of their own one day. She was going to be gentle, kind like her earth-spirit mother, with a wavy mane of rainbow trailing down her back and eyes as deep and crystalline as the heart of the world.

That filly was dead now.

Along with every dream she had been stupid enough to believe in.

Rainbow wrestled the demon of knives and venom down for the sake of the filly that still lived and calmed her shouting.

"You're not sorry, you liar. You're 'sorry' you got caught."

"Rainbow, I wanted to stop it. I SWEAR I did."

"Was it good...?" The voice was unlike any she'd ever heard from Rainbow Dash. It was spider venom, soured in acid, the clawed touch of a corpse, seeking to find purchase in her flesh and hurl her overhead into a black abyss. "Was it good, being with Twilight, feeling her on top of you? inside of you? letting her have you? ...letting her have her way with you? ...letting me believe EVERY lie you told me, with her on your BREATH? 'The Mare you loved'...?"

Fluttershy did not dare look up. The tears rolled down her cheeks now, stinging, crawling and biting like fire ants.

"Was it worth it, Flutters?"

What was in that voice was so horrible, so empty, hollow and alien, it made her shake. It wasn't Rainbow. It wasn't the sweet, funny, protective and loving mare she had known all her life. It was the mare she had made. Like some mad scientist from a foals story-book of terrors, her every indiscretion had pieced this mare together out of the dead pieces of her broken trust and stitched the corpse together with the shame of cuckolding.

She had made that voice.

It was hers.

"No."

The shoppe was silent again. Somehow, it was silent. Fluttershy's tears dripped from her cheeks to patter against the cushion between her hooves. Rainbow Dash's breath came in deep, heavy, raspy draws.

Save for these things, for several minutes, the air was as silent and as devoid of life as a tomb.

Rainbow Dash rose from her stool with a sniffle. She wiped at her muzzle with a hoofful of crumpled napkins and spat into the lot, tossing the soggy, crumpled mess to the floor. With a cough, she dropped a few bits on the table.

"Rainbow, I-"

"I'll leave your crap in a box outside." The pegasus thrust her hooves through the sleeves of her Wonderbolts flight jacket. The hiss of the thin fabric was like an angry serpent, warning Fluttershy of the deadly seriousness of the words. Rainbow shook out her mane, already forming a catalogue of it all, everything that was in the box. Every memory, every dream, every broken promise and failed hope for the rest of their life together- all in the box. That day dress she wore when they danced at her parents' house- that little white swimsuit she wore on their trip to the beach- her fat bucking plot... Her stupid baby-animal figurine collection- all her stupid little flowery mane-clips- her mane-brushes- her- Her eye caught on something in her mane with a renewed wave of sickness, like a squirrel scrabbling to free itself from barbed wire. With a stiff-lipped sneer she yanked the yellow feather free from it's moorings, taking quite a few hairs of her own with it and dropped it to the table with all the stomach-twisting disgust of finding a maggot in the empty pit of a freshly extracted tooth.

Donning her flight-instructor glasses she pointed a cyan hoof to Fluttershy. "Don't even THINK of coming in. We're done... Go run on to your little princess now." Rainbow spat out the words as if freeing herself from her final moorings.

"Buck her purple. I bucking care. You're her problem now..."

And with that last ounce of venom, it was done.

Rainbow Dash turned away.

...And with the eerily pleasant jingle of the shoppe's doorbell, she walked out of Fluttershy's life.

------
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It was a cool evening in Ponyville.

Applejack sat on the cushion, staring down into the mug of Granny's best cider. The bedroom was cozy and warm. Dimly lit by the two candles on the bedside desk, you could just make out all the furnishings around her. It was all a bit froo-froo for her tastes but she had learned to appreciate the style over time. The various streetlights and nighttime stars of the town outside the bay window did little but add a sliver of romantic ambience to the sanctuary of this- their home. The farm pony removed her hat and set it on the desk with a drawn-out, heavy sigh of release. It had been a long day and she was very weary for as many reasons as she could count in a plump pig's pen.

She turned to look out the window at the few ponies still out and about as the evening crawled on. A few young Stallions held hoofs on a bench. She didn't recognize them. They seemed happy. One of the mares from the flower shoppe was locking up for the night. A pair of pegasi pushed a stroller, laughing to each other as the tiny foal inside lapped at an ice cream cone. Taking in the scene, somehow looking at them all made her feel so empty... sad, maybe. It was a hollow sadness, an ache, an empty feeling. So many lives, so many stories. Were they all really so separate? So individual? So unique and... alone?

She itched a hoof at her nostril. Digging at the contents, she studied the scene and sipped at her mug. What had her so maudlin this evening?

Then it hit her. Her eyes trailed up to the swooping letters and playful imagery of the two mare's chocolate covered muzzles adorning the sign of Bon-Bon and Lyra Heartstring's sweetie shoppe.

There it was.

The memories of that day hung heavy in her mind- in all their minds. The day the truth finally came out. Nothing was ever the same after that day, for any of them.

She hadn't known what was going on between Fluttershy and Twilight. There was practically no telling if Pinkie had known. She DIDN'T want to know if Rarity had known.

Poor Rainbow.

She sipped at the mug in her hoof, studying the building. It was like looking at a crime scene now. Still, several years later, she couldn't even think about the place without recalling her own horror at learning of what her friends had done. Years of trust between them all... Years of laughter, smiles and... so many memories, so much joy and shared bravery... admiration... respect... so much love. How could none of that have been worth a few moments of restraint? Just saying good bye and moving on?

SHE would have told her.

She sighed heavily and looked down into the mug's dwindling contents as if they might answer her silent thoughts. How couldn't anypony have told her, if they'd known? Didn't you owe your friends honesty? Wasn't that just the basic line of respect you gave another pony, to tell them when something... somepony was hurting them?

She stifled a burp with a hoof. She hastily looked to the lump under the ivory sheets of the nearby bed. Satisfied that her eructation hadn't stirred anypony, she returned to the window.

When you love somepony, you trust them. It ALL came back to that- honesty. Trust. You give them something of yourself with the idea that they, above anypony else, will be good to that part of you. You know that you can believe in them. They'll value it, treasure it, treat it right. Somehow, you know that they'll be there for you when you need them to be. They'll never let YOU down and you know that YOU'LL never let THEM down. Doing that would hurt you worse than... well... worse than anything.

But that's just what they did, wasn't it? They let us all down...

They let themselves down.

She took another sip of the fruity liquor, swallowing it down with a hissing intake of breath between her teeth.

The lifelong friends didn't talk so much these days. The fog between them now was just too thick.

Twilight was their princess, sole crown ruler of all Equestria and they all respected THAT- but none of the mares could look at her without recalling what she and Fluttershy had done. For her part in it, some of them had called for justice. The very princess of friendship...

Flutters... well...

Applejack set her chin, sorrowfully. Her lips curled into the remorse of forgotten light. Nopony talked to her much at all these days. Even a couple of years after the fact it still just felt... off. The love they'd all shared, the trust, it just wasn't there now.

Even Discord, crazy, patchwork nightmarish thing that he was, seemed to feel the weight of it all. She recalled asking him once about it, how he felt, was he okay... was Fluttershy okay... Looking up into those big mismatched yellow and red eyes had always been scary. He was so ancient, so powerful. The world was something completely different to him and there was no rhyme or reason to the things that animated him. What lived behind those bizarre eyes nopony could understand. That time, however, he looked old. There was no mania in those eyes. There was no laughter, no dancing flames, ninja shower-heads or squirrels with umbrellas. The madness and irreverent silliness was gone. There was only...

Disappointment.

He had no answer for her- only that look. It was all the conversation they'd had on the matter.

It still puzzled her sometimes. Still, years later, it brought her brows to knit in confusion and angrily seek answers that would never come. Anypony should've known better. The Element of Kindness sure as SHOOTIN' should've known better. Hadn't her time with the breezies taught her anything? You can't always just give in to what your heart wants to do. That's just simple, common sense, isn't it? Maybe a little foal might not understand it but she KNEW Flutters knew better. Twilight.... They ALL knew better.

She watched two ponies come out of the sweetie shoppe, hoof in hoof. There was no mistaking the familiar rainbow mane of her old friend, even if she wore it shorter these days. The sky blue pegasus laughed, bumping hoofs with another familiar sight, the flaming orange high-flier Spitfire. Their raucous laughter was a re-affirming sight. She could recall a time when it seemed like she'd never see that laughter again. Behind them, Bon Bon shut the door and flipped around the store's "open" sign to it's "closed" side and waved them good-night with a smile. The two returned the wave and shared some words followed up by the brief clasp of hoofs around barrels that passed for a passionate embrace between them.

There it was. The damage done.

Rainbow still couldn't trust much these days. She'd become suspicious, wary. The spectre of betrayal had left a stain on her, a scar.

Some hurts, you don't just walk away from.

Those eyes that used to burn like flaming spears in mid-flight, full of confidence and energy, ready to take on the world, they didn't shine as brightly as they used to. Sure, if a pony didn't know her any better, she might just seem the same, a hot-headed, brash, cannonball of life and laughter. Her friends though, they all saw it. There was something else in her now. She had this weight on her, this passenger in her heart that whispered poison to her with every interaction. Applejack couldn't blame her. It frustrated Spitfire, the questions, the need for affirmation and validation of their relationship. She could see it. Spitfire was every bit as tough and no-nonsense as ever and sometimes it looked like she just wanted to roll her eyes until they fell out of her head but she was a tough gal. With all those years of hammering wet-eared recruits into world-famous machines of military precision, she had all the patience in the world- and Rainbow was worth it. If any mare could make it work, help Dash to heal and learn to love again, it would be her. They could make it work.

... Maybe they could make it work.

Wasn't love worth it? Leaving behind the things that you think you want in the short term, the fancies on the wind, for the things you know will last...?

Applejack chuckled to herself as something in her mind looked backwards.

There had been a time when she was certain that would've been her down there. With her orange hoof draped around her old friend, she would have had the courage one day to open up to Rainbow, get it all out in the open, every little thing she'd ever felt, from the first time she looked up and saw a rainbow angel in the sky to every sweat-soaked moment of lonely night-time fantasy. Rainbow would have reciprocated and the two old friends would have become marefriends, then lovers. Then, one day, she would have made Rainbow her wife. The whole Apple clan would've made it to the wedding for the biggest hootenanny Equestria'd ever seen. The two would have moved in together and had a dozen little babies- just filled the whole Apple family farm with fat little winged wonders to love and chase and cuss as they grew old together.

Well, that was how the daydreams went anyway.

But that was all those were- daydreams. Nostalgia of the past and a future that just wasn't in the cards.

A future that she didn't want anymore- didn't need.

She turned again to the lumpy mass in the bed and her smirk of nostalgia broadened into a warm, genuine smile of pride and deep, unfettered affection. She placed an elbow on the desk, resting her head against her hoof and stared. Look at her. Just... look at her... From the wavy mass of her violet mane, trailing down her neck to rest on the pillows to the tip of that ivory horn on her head, she was beautiful. When those deep, indigo eyes sparkled with joy at her latest creation or when those little crow's feet wrinkled up in frustration at some fool thing the farmer had done, she was still every bit the cream in Applejack's coffee. Even the thin streak of premature silver which had recently sprouted in her mane only added another facet to her sparkle. Sure, sometimes she was a pain in the plot. Her obsession with gossip-rag mush and her prissy little ways could annoy the simple country pony to no end. Sometimes, it felt like that adorably sharp snoot of hers was a bit too high in the Manehatten city clouds.

Still, she was her love.

She was her wife.

From those dainty little painted and primly-pedicured hoofs of hers to the gently swollen belly that marked their third little bun in the oven now, little Raven Luster... Rarity was hers- and Applejack was hers.

She stared, unashamed of the huge, mushy, dumb grin cooking her face with it's warmth. If Big Mac could see her right now, he'd give her SUCH a ribbin'...

She wasn't a poet. She wasn't even all that bright. She knew it and wasn't too proud to admit it. All the big words and fancy philosophy of textbooks that smarter ponies like Twilight liked to throw around just made her head spin. When ponies asked her why she would want to spend her life with somepony so different than herself, almost her opposite in every way, she couldn't rightly put it into words. Oh, she'd tried, to be sure. Brow furrowed and lips pursed in effort, she'd done her best to put it on paper, dozens of times only to stare at the same blank sheet she'd started with. She just didn't know how... but standing knee deep in the mud in her father's dirty stetson, slopping the pigs, breaking her back all day, sweating away under the searing Summer sun, the simple farm pony was smart enough to know- nothing was worth missing out on a single moment of this life, coming home to her.

Nothing.

How could anypony ever turn their back on something so ... amazing... as this feeling?

"Mnnhmhmmmm... M'plj'ck?"

The lumpy mound in their bed stired. One hoof lowered beneath the sheets to steady her swollen belly, the other rising to lift the corner of her lacy night-time face mask, Rarity rose to a hoof. "Applejack? Are you coming to bed?"

The farmer shook herself free from the delirium of pink clouds and sunsets with a soft chuckle. "Yeah... Ah'm sorry. Just gimme two shakes, sugar-tush."

Rarity gave up a small titter. The farmer's colloquialisms and terms of endearment still had a unique way of making her feel so special. With a groan she lowered herself back down, the little passenger she carried being a bit precocious with her for being up at this hour. She replaced the lace-trimmed pink satin over her eyes and sighed pleasantly. "Oh, Applejack... REALLY..." She sighed, building into a dreamy little yawn as she tugged the sheets to her chin and ooched into the most comfortable spot of her pillow. "I love you."

Applejack looked out the window once more and finished off the last delinquent swig of cider in her mug. Bon-bon had made her way upstairs to turn on a record player and had drawn the curtains to she and Lyra's bedroom. Muffins looked to be heading out for a night on the town with ...was that Roseluck, now? That goofy pegasus was something else... On the bench across the way she could make out her younger sister, AppleBloom enjoying a night out with her marefriend, Diamnond Tiara... she never did see what she saw in that filly. Still, they seemed happy together...

So many little lives. So many stories. Choices made, choices regretted, paths walked and paths not taken... each little story had it's share of twists and turns. Then again, maybe they weren't so unique after all. Maybe they were, to the individual but maybe to us all, they were just the same. The choices that made us who we are. Each little story so separate, but also not... All connected by the same characters shared, hard times we all saw each other through. Love. Loss. Life.

But NONE of us, alone.

She finally looked down to the journal in her lap. That same empty sheet stared back at her. She never did know what to write in this dumb thing. Rarity's idea. Maybe someday she'd think something profound enough to put to paper. For now though...

The orange farm-pony leaned over and blew out the candles.

With a warm and full heart, she pushed the cushion under the desk and in the peaceful still of their bedroom she pulled back the sheets, nestled into bed and laid beside the soft warmth of her wife.

---FIN---

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading this story. It was an extremely cathartic thing to write, dealing with a very difficult subject- and I would like to clarify several somewhat nuanced points. Unpack them, as it were....

All too often, authors handle adultery and/or infidelity in a very juvenile light. The cheaters are generally depicted in one of three manners.

1- Objects of sympathy, romanticized as tortured lovers engaging in something they know to be toxic, hurtful and wrong yet continue to do so.

2- Their actions are fetishized, the danger of being caught or the sheer wrongness of betrayal of their partners is played off as the pinnacle of desire for titillation and thrill-seeking.

3- Their disrespect is played off for laughs, the old chestnut of "boys will be boys" mentality, the put-upon spouse always taking back their unfaithful partner, generally with a side of trivializing assault as well when they batter them.

ALL of these completely disregard the reality of the situation and dismiss the very horrifying damage that is caused.

In this story I wanted to show that ugliness, thus it is almost completely seen from the perspective of the outside parties, the victims of the adulterers. I did not give in to any moment of making excuses to paint the guilty parties as sympathetic, nor would I ever legitimize others doing so. The guilty party are guilty. They are the abusers and they are in no way deserving of the same level of sympathy or pity as their victims- regardless of their own suffering. That suffering is something they have deliberately chosen for themselves and it is a burden which they can choose to remove at any time.

As the Element of Loyalty, Rainbow sets her pride aside to be the partner that lets it go on TOO long. She hopes that her faithfulness, kindness and love will be enough to trigger a shame response in her partner and that they will end the affair on their own. Sadly, Fluttershy doesn't and the eventual eruption occurs, though truthfully less violently than most do in real-life.

The nightmare of feeling the future you had planned ripped away from you. The utter shame and embarrassment of realizing how many people knew what was happening. The outrage and burning hate that comes from realizing how many "friends" knew and didn't tell you, for WHATEVER reason. This is the reality of the picture.

The victim's trust is forever broken. They are very unlikely to EVER have the same level of openness with a partner. Granted, with time and patient, caring partners, they may heal some of the damage done. However, that little voice of suspicion will be with them, souring every relationship they have, from friends to lovers. Every time it takes just a little too long to answer a phone call, every time they spend an afternoon with the same friend once too often, every EX they're still friends with- these will plague them like harpies.

So we see it with Rainbow. By the end she is broken, as are all of the characters. Years later, though she is mending, she is not over her betrayal- a price her new paramour, Spitfire also must pay.
Rarity is consumed with discomfort, though I deliberately left it slightly vague as to the source. Her dime-store novella sense of romance and making heroes of the archetypal "star-crossed lovers" brought to a horrifying reality COULD be to blame- or it could be that she is consumed by the guilt of knowing what was happening and the shame at her own inaction to help her friends. Did she know? If so, for how long?
Applejack is left confused, distant and occasionally very angry. Two friends have horribly betrayed the rest of them and for all her simple country wisdom, she can't comprehend why anyone would do such a thing- especially when it would be so much simpler to just be honest about what you feel. Not ready to be married? Don't do it. Want a poly or open relationship? Talk about it with your partner.

Both Fluttershy and Twilight are completely alienated from the group for their actions, gone from "friends" to little more than "co-workers". Their reliability and respect are spent and it will take years of clear and deliberate effort to earn either commodity back.

Getting to Twilight- her part in the matter is more complicated. As the story takes place after season Nine, Twilight is the sole ruler of the land. Being a figure of ultimate authority, princess, queen or empress, this places her on an uneven level of power dynamic with Fluttershy, making conscious, free consent impossible. Just as a teacher sleeping with a student or an employer advancing on an employee, this is an undeniable abuse of authority, either consciously or not. For her part in the infidelity, it is sex by coercion and that is rape. Period.

Though I find this act inexcusable and horrifying, I deliberately left any confrontation with her out of the writing, only alluding to some citizens "calling for justice" in Applejack's recollection. Twilight, being basically the empress of the land is not held accountable for her actions in any legal respect, as is generally the case in this matter of indiscretion. As the story is mostly seen from Rainbow's perspective, I focused the confrontation on Fluttershy as this keeps the narrative far more personal and it is how the issue is generally handled IRL. Even if the 'other' is also a friend or even a family member, the betrayal by the partner is FAR more personal and painful. So we see in Rainbow's thoughts, Fluttershy goes from being an "angel of nature" to a "fat, stupid sack of-" etc. etc.

I believe that covers most of what I felt needed additional unpacking.

I empathize with any of you who have ever had to live through this nightmare. I hope that maybe reading this story gave you some level of catharsis or the thin support of familiarity and understanding. If you're one of the writers who hasn't experienced this yet chooses to write about it anyways, I hope maybe reading this might have given you a bit more perspective and an increased awareness of just how serious this issue actually is.

Big Love to you, anypony still reading. Love yourselves, love each other.

Comments

[bluebelle]

Wow, that was incredible. So well written, I almost felt how they did. This is a great story, and I really enjoyed reading it!

[KrissieFox]

Having never been unfortunate to experience this, you did a wonderful job at conveying the emotions and damage of such a situation. It's a sad story, but with an important message and real heart behind it.