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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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10047276
Well protogen's can live up to many centuries with the replacement of mechanical parts and the use of bio geel to there meaty bits
HK-47: "Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope... Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds."
Keep up the good work.
Celestia and Luna, you won't bribe him for technology and your race won't advance from being medieval, especially with you two
So far my only issue is the part about being able to remove the visor. ProtoGens literally can't remove it without dying...it doesn't just cover the face, it is the face.
10046669
Please read up on ProtoGen/Primagin visors. It's really important you understand how they work before you continue working on this.
10048266
I kinda cheated on this protogen so that he has a face under his mask.
10048273
Understandable just know it will likely be irritating to any ProtoGens reading as the rules are rather strict with the race
Okay, I'm still in middle of reading, but I got to say something about this, this is not the reason protogens have or use their "mask's"
They can't take them off because they are literally PART of them, because the visor holds their eyes, and brains in place like a skull (technically it is their skull) so, I really don't like this, hell it's even said that the visor can't be removed manually or automatically my the creator of the protogen species (of what I know) so this is VERY weird to me
Now please don't take any of this in a bad way, but I Really don't like this, I loved the story so far and all, but it's a not a protogen if the visor can be taken off and such.
PS
I'm not trying to be rude, or mean, just trying to be honest, and if I didn't make any sense please know I only recently woke up
Are we missing a chapter? Why is Mr. Bones taking offensiv action? LETHAL OFFENSIV ACTIONS!
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Shouldnt your escort droid... Escorting you?
How come no one follows him so he dont 'hurt himself' by accident!?
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How can you tell the Cake is eatable? Maybe something is toxic? A singel component or maybe because of one of the chemical reactions in mixing or baking the ingredients?
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You cant share technology but what about helping em evolving theres?
Not in space development but something useful wile harmless. Like medical knownlage? Helps building friends relationship plus a possible way to compensate for material removal for your own purposes. (plants,herbs, material for construction etc.)
Well that's rude, just immobilized and lifting one in mid air. Don't they know how to greet new folks in town. XD
10048467
what do you mean?
Dang pretty rude of the princess to just barge in like that and crash the party
YEAH!
I see that borderlands 3 reference
10048488
Woops miss heard it stories when using the read up program. Just re read the last part, and thought it said "holding me like a statue" XD
10048303
I already tried to explain this
I can't wait for him to explain, expose to all creatures that Luna and Celestia :
-were using illusion dome over equestria to make it look like they control sun and moon
-or enslaved, like unicorns before sun and moon to control everyone
10049585
Actualy the unique build of this system should already be confirmed by his ship sensors. Luna & Celestia probably are no con artists.
Still... Even if there Mother or somebody else created there planet and/or life on there planet, the fact that at least 2 space traveling races exist should create pure chaos in Equis sociale ranks.
Can Discord travel planets? ... ... ... O Shit !
No matter how advenst a race might be. There Civilizations are behind 2 others in tech and gavorment structure.
Even the biggest Empire/Kingdome is smaller than the ownership of a Planet colony
10049657
The problem is, magic probably exists only on this planet and near it
Like some radiation or radio wave that has it's limit but big enough to reach the sun
Also, we have to remember the sun and moon can be smaller
Also, you don't have to be a genius to see that if someone created this solar system, it's sun and moon this way, it was build to be controlled, used as controlling tool of life on the planet
If you don't want to control life and inhabitants on the planet you would have made it be automatic
Also, Discord would probably die or cease to exist after leaving the magic range, why?
Without magic, he could have as a spirit of chaos, plugged off his life support and disappear
Or
Even then if he could exist, live without magic, he won't be able to move and breath, so yeah
10049524
I've read, I made that comment mid way though the chapter so I didn't check any comments
10049653
That is a matter of opinion.
10048273
Just going to say this as nicely as possible. Your main character isn't a ProtoGen, the biggest reason for this is the removable visor. If the visor comes off in any way the ProtoGen dies. That's how the species was made.
10048488
10048711
I also read this as someone else than himself ''snapped up''/lifted him.
If you just leave it as this:
Then it is he, himself that does the action of ''snapping up''
I thought he was like 3ft - 4ft tall! That’s a big difference than what I had in mind.
You know what would make this better? Commas.
10236156
So wait hes a primagen than. Primagens are 7 ft protogens are 6ft
Why can I see this song playing while Mr Bones is carving up the town...?
Nice Samurai Jack reference there.
Borderlands
Here comes best Princess Luna and Celestia
Ah, the random "because it's cool" ramblings of a teenager... We'll see how long we can continue. It's not that long of a fic...