These Wars I Fight

by Flexico

1. Enter Ponyville

Ponyville.

The name of the town is amazingly fitting, because ponies live there.

I am sure you are now veritably impressed with my epic powers of observation and stating of the obvious.

Anyway, I was moving there in an attempt to get the hay away from my insane family. They say that blood is thicker than water, but I say it's just way grosser to drown in.

In light of that delightful bit of imagery, there I was, trotting along a dirt path into a small town of farmers, bakers, and blacksmiths. Hopefully I could find a place here where I could be left in peace to do my studies, create elaborate and mostly useless inventions, and generally be weird. I couldn't stand one more weirded-out look from a pony who thought they knew what was "normal" and that they were the judge of all the deviants.

As if on cue from the word "deviants" crossing my mind, a bright, wide-eyed, pink face appeared inches in front of me and loudly inhaled until I swore her lungs would explode.

"Um ... can I help y--"

In a flash and a blur that tossed my mane, the mare disappeared from my sight, as if she were launched from a crossbow.

Uh ... huh. Well, that was certainly ... something. I smiled to myself, thinking that this likely wasn't a place where being weird was frowned upon.

My first stop was the local library. All I had brought with me in my saddlebags were a number of blueprints of my inventions that I thought were most likely to actually go somewhere, some blank parchment, and a few pencils and quills. I had just eaten at a small diner at the entrance of town, but now I needed brain food.

The library itself was actually built inside of a huge, living tree. It was an amazing work of art, as well as biological engineering. I couldn't help but look around in wonder as I walked in.

"Hello there!" A mare whom I assumed was the librarian said to me. She was a unicorn with a purple coat and a multi-faceted starburst for a cutie mark, likely signifying a talent in magic. Typical.

"Oh, um .. hi," I said more awkwardly than I should have felt. Why was she being so friendly? Why shouldn't she be? Why wasn't I more social than I was? Did I hate other ponies? Did other ponies hate me? Was there a reason for either of those? Why can't I hold a decent, casual conversation with-- Oh crud, she said something else. Was it a question? Should I nod? Should I say, "cool"? Naw, "cool" is only for the experts. What did she say?! I should have been listening! How was I so insensitive? I should be ashamed of myse--

*ping* My head snapped to attention and my eyes drifted back into focus, landing on the confused smile the librarian was gently sending my way. I took a deep breath. "I beg your pardon, ma'am, my brain just went on the fritz. What was it you just said?"

She giggled, as if she understood exactly what I meant. Yeah, right. Nopony really understood. It was-- SHUT UP! She is being kind. Let it go. What could she be up to? What ulterior motive could she have for faking kindness? What if there IS NO ulterior motive? Maybe she's-- Don't be naiive. Don't be prejudiced!

My eyes snapped back into focus, yet again gazing upon the confused smile that now also showed concern. "Do you need to lie down or something?"

"I'm so sorry! I don't know where my head is today!" I tapped my temple with a hoof. "Yes, I am new in town. No, thank you, I don't need to lie down. I just wish to browse these halls of knowledge and creativity." I gave her a smile that I hoped was genuine.

Pffft, that was the corniest, most pathetic drivel I've ever heard. Stick around, there's more where that came from! >:3

"Is there anything in particular you're looking for?"

"Well, perhaps some references about mechanical systems, astronomical statistics, and Ubermare comics, if you have any." I kept my gaze on the books, things I understood and could connect with, lest my gaze wander back to the other pony and send my brain spinning out of control again.

"Strangely enough, that is a common combination ponies seek, especially the intellectual and nerdy. Follow me."

Do not pick that sentence apart. Do not pick that sentence apart. Do not pick that sentence apart.

"Here is the technological reference section, and the graphic novels are right across the aisle. Meet me up at the desk when you've made your selection!" Her cheerful expression unnerved me, though I knew it shouldn't.

I buried my face in the variety of books and scrolls before me, desperate for a distraction.

A distraction from what, exactly?

You.

What do you mean? I am you! I am your internal monologue. Every protagonist needs one!

Two things: First, I am having a dialogue with you. You are not giving a monologue. Second, no breaking the forth wall. you're not licensd for that.

Oooohhhh, dramaaaaatic eyeroll incoming. Just wait and see, you'll--

"Are you OK? You've been staring at the wall for almost 20 minutes."

I jerked in surprise and dropped the books I was holding. "Oh, uh ... I-I-I ..."

"Are you sure you don't need help with anything? You seem like you could --"

"No, this pathetic little Earth pony does not need help from some fancy-pants look-at-me-I-can-manipulate-the-fabric-of-reality unicorn to figure out how to live his life."

"Wha-what? I didn't mean tha--"

"Oh save it." I dropped the books on a table next to the bookshelves. "Just ... forget it."

She didn't say anything as I walked out the door.

What the hay was that? I didn't mean that. If anything, I was grateful that she took time out of her day to even care about me. I wanted to run back in and fall into her arms and cry into her chest and let her stroke my mane and hum me a lullaby. Why couldn't I say aloud what I was feeling?

Oh, you playah you! If you wanna coax that mare into bed, you gotta come up with something better than that!

That is NOT what I meant, and you KNOW it.

Oh sure, that's what EVERYpony is really after. You know that--

PISS OFF!!

I sat on my haunches, doubled over and panting, for nearly a minute before I realized I had spoken aloud. Several ponies who had been walking by, including the librarian who now poked her head out the door, stared at me, some with mouths hanging open.

"I ... sorry. I didn't mean ... I'm gonna go now."

I shuffled back along the path I came from, head hanging low. I'd been hoping to find a place to stay that day -- oh well, another night sleeping under the stars might help clear my head.

Don't count on it.

I didn't bother to respond.

Comments

[NatureSpark]

Hahaha I love the character, just the right amount of oblivious angst. I'm not even sure where the story is going at this point, but I know that I'll be waiting for the next part.

[AntiquatedAnnomaly]

Hello again remember me?

Interesting.... You use italics for the voice in his head, and some of the not italics are also him thinking to/at himself. Its kinda confusing but entertaining. If you could figure out a way to differientiate between the voices in his head while still showing that he is thinking to himself and not talking out loud (I noticed the quotation marks, but they were easy to miss I think it needs a little more.) it would be less confusing.

Maybe two different fonts... Does FimFic let you do that? Ya, I think I like that, I don't think I've seen it done before, and it could add a lot of character to the different voices-- if that is the way you want to go. Just a suggestion.

Still I'll keep an eye on this. Happy writing!

[Flexico]

1732664 Yes I do! How's it going? =D

Aww man, was it confusing? Bummer. I'll have to figure out a better system.

[AntiquatedAnnomaly]

1740191 Not terribly confusing, the attitudes of the voices kept them separate for me, but if you plan on doing lots of internal dialog you are going to want a better system.

I won't clog up your comments section with our conversation, so look out for a PM.