Celestia sprinted across the scrap of lawn in one of Canterlot’s many picturesque city squares. She had to be quick, quick, quick; ponies would be gathering for the upcoming Florist’s Guild Spring Beautification ceremony any minute now. The area had been cordoned off in preparation, so there were no casual pedestrians, but she had a gap of mere minutes between the park management ponies who’d set up the cordon leaving and the city officials arriving.
She reached the base of the plinth that stood at the center of the little bit of grass and looked up, permitting herself a wild grin. The statue was of white marble, touched by only the faintest ghost of gray veining. And the enchantment on its carven mane and tail truly was superb; the colors and the flow were astonishingly realistic.
Hooves sounded in the distance.
Celestia’s heart pounded. Quick, quick, quick. Her horn lit, the statue vanished with a pop, and Celestia leaped atop the plinth in a single, graceful bound.
A second brief spell, long practiced on many diplomatic occasions, calmed rapid breath and racing heart, putting her in a near trance.
Celestia posed carefully, as the statue had been posed, all four hooves planted, head raised regally. The only difference was her eyes were closed, but would anyone notice and remember, that the statue’s eyes had been open?
She’d known, the instant she’d seen the statue, with its white marble, inlaid gold and brass cutie mark, and magically flowing hair, that it would end up part of the game eventually. The pose was perfect to hold for long periods, and the hair made it all possible.
The statue’s triumphant grin was her own as ponies gathered around her. This was going to be such fun!
Though also a little boring, she decided, as the Florist’s Guild Master began his speech. The guild picked a statue to hold this little function at every year, and this year Celestia had managed to nudge the choice to the new statue, just so she’d have this opportunity.
The speech was about the beauty the guild brought into the city with their greenhouses and their cooled train cars full of country-grown flowers, how decking this statue symbolized decking the city itself, and so on. It was a very nice little speech, but sun above, it was taking forever. Celestia concentrated on staying in the physical state of near trance where she barely had to breathe as the speech went on and on and on.
The speech finally ended, just as Celestia wondered how much longer she could manage to hold still. She held her breath, not twitching so much as a muscle, as the Guild Master floated an elaborate wreath of hundreds of flowers, trailing ribbons and adorned with lace, even, and slid it over her withers.
A round of applause rose from the crowd, some hooves loud on cobbles, others muffled on grass, but then the ceremony was finally over.
Celestia continued to wait as the members of the Florist’s Guild trickled out of the square. The last of them were just leaving as she heard the distinctive hoofbeats of a pair of Guardsponies coming to take down the tape ringing the square. There would be no better chance than this, even if this moment wasn’t perfect.
The risk of being caught was part of the game—not that Celestia ever got caught anymore. Well, hardly ever.
She cast the spell swiftly, performing a precisely perfect double-teleport, swapping places with the statue, and the usual bang of teleportation was totally absent, since there was no air rushing in to the void she’d just left, or being blown out of the space she now occupied.
The flowers, meanwhile, still decked Celestia’s neck as she reappeared in her quarters.
“Been having fun again, Your Highness?”
The dry voice was familiar, and Celestia managed to not jump.
“I have indeed,” she said, turning with grave solemnity and arching her neck to show off the flowers to Raven, her private secretary.
Raven only smiled and shook her head. “Another point for you then, I suppose?”
“Oh yes.” Celestia grinned. Raven was one of only three ponies besides herself who knew about her game. “A point and a trophy, I believe. I happen to know a spell for preserving flowers. This is lovely; I’ll keep it around for a bit.” She arched her neck again, peacocking outrageously.
Raven only chuckled and pulled out the rest of the day’s schedule.
Get dressed up with a wreath
Loving this so far, Celestia is just the kind of pony to set these little challenges for herself just to keep things interesting.
*leans onto hoof and has a long sigh*
of course, this goos had to become a fic ... i mean- how could it be any different XD
9904222
9904237
Jordanis also had the "rake" pun idea.
It kind of loses something when the targets aren't perfectly aware that they're about to be screwed over somehow, regardless of their efforts to stop it.
This was amusing. Trollestia written well is always a treat.
As always, I love reading, writing, and editing Celestia.
9904301
I wouldn't say so, especially once you get into the secret and time trial goals. The trick is that NPCs prioritize what you're actively doing right now above everything else. They'll only come after you while you're proactively dragging an item or otherwise violating a "rule", so you can just drop it and distract them with a ton of other things and then do it behind their backs.
9904348
Agreed. Rake in the Lake is pretty easy--IIRC, drag it into the one garden bed you can hide in, duck (har) down, and the groundskeeper will lose you. Then go mess up a bunch of things on the far side of the garden, flee, and drag the rake out behind the raised beds. You'll be out of his range by the time he's done fixing the far side of the garden and have a clear shot to the lake. Same basic formula for the picnic items.
this entire fic gave me anatidaephobia
i love this
I saw the thumbnail and title, and instantly knew what this story was about. Primarily thanks to Neebs Gaming.
At first, I thought Celestia was going to be using the form of a goose to troll ponies, but remaining her usual self just adds a whole new layer of challenge to her silly game.
Very fun stuff. Bravo on getting Blueblood into the lake.
You have my full attention. I love this
You just won a million dollars.
Hjönk
9904772
Well I knew the Rake In The Lake objective from Goose Game, but yeah, I needed that wikipedia link.
Loving this so far. Though can't help but feel it's missing something.
i.imgur.com/OC9ybYt.png
Todo List Maker
There, that will do.
It’s a lovely morning in Canterlot, and you are a horrible Alicorn.
HONK!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/9/12/95825.png
Ah Celestia, having fun where you can. I wonder if she's gonna nick something shiny at the end of this big story. Also, don't be like blueblood. Failure to pay attention to surroundings and you'll be in the lake
Delightful stuff. I have to think that Celestia kept doing it even after she abdicated. Not getting spotted just added to the challenge!
Celestia: The Queen of the Geese and overall Mistress of Dickery
This is excellence though I can see it growing boring quickly if something doesn't happen to spice things up perhaps Luna is in on the game and is also messing with ponies maybe they even have conflicting goals occasionally
Rake in the lake
In the words of JackSepticEye...
HJONK HJONK AM GOOSE!
Fuck, you beat me to it! I was also writing a goose story!
Top tier though, hilarious af.
I give it 10 out of 10 mustaches. /
9905680
There's room for more than one! I've been reading goose game stories on AO3, and there are a bunch of really ridiculous crossovers. I've even enjoyed some where I had no idea about the original fandom.
I had a feeling someone would make a story about this game sooner or later on this site,
Hjonk Hjonk want cake?
The best part is that Untitled Goose Game, as short as it can be also one of Celly’s avatars- ‘specially that one comic where she swoops in and honks.
i.imgur.com/naYZD01.png
I kinda wonder what kinda Pranks Celly would pull on Twilight. lol
Honk honk!
9904616
Hjonk.
9907294
Was thinking the same thing.
https://youtu.be/ITecVl2CSS8
Your welcome.
DID SOMEBODY SAY HOMK?
i.ytimg.com/vi/FwnoUSdXx-s/maxresdefault.jpg
It checks out:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/6/13/1177445.jpg
Peace was never an option.
Ohmygosh, why is it so amusing and satisfying to see the regal Celestia playing pranks like a naughty goose??
Hahaha, this is now on my favorites list!
Such grace!
9904419
Nice Farside reference... but are you sure that includes geese as well as duck?
Edit:Seems you are correct!
You need a real short description.
9911785
Seriously? This is an actual mod action here and you're not joking?
9911788
Yes.
9911811
"Fixed"
9905680
why not 11/10? it's well worth the *HONK!* YIPES!
9911816
Oh wow. First time I've seen mod action.
This is amusing but reasonably substantial. Goodness knows there's no lack of "princesses doing silly things" fics that bore me to tears and make the eyes roll. I look forward to more! Always fun to see Celestia play tricks on the ultimate prey: the pompous aristocracy.