Horrible Alicorns
Canterlot Palace never entirely slept. All the same, just at sunset it wasn’t exactly bustling, so Twilight didn’t encounter many ponies as she trotted confidently through the halls. She estimated that she had a perfect seven and a half minute window to complete her mission.
Her nerves were thrumming with excitement and her pulse was pounding with terror. She was playing a prank! She was doing something against the rules on purpose! She was participating in Celestia and Luna’s game! Her ears flicked up and down unpredictably as the mixed emotions swept over her.
After an anxious eternity—or perhaps it was much too fast?—of trying to walk through the halls with a normal, confident stride, Twilight reached her first goal, a stretch of corridor with dropcloths strewn about and cans of paint, sealed up for the night, stacked against a half-painted wall.
She plucked two of them from the stack, along with a paintbrush, and floated them behind her as she continued on her way.
The throne room was unguarded, and Twilight just barely managed to resist a hoof-pump: she’d timed it perfectly. Celestia’s day guard had gone, and Luna’s night guard hadn’t turned up yet. The intensity of the excitement that rushed through her at realizing she was almost certainly going to succeed surprised her.
With a tiny little giggle of scandalized delight she pulled one of the big double doors open and darted inside. After shutting the door behind her, she trotted up the long run of red carpet to the dais where two thrones, sized just the same but designed quite differently, sat side by side.
“Decorate Luna’s throne,” read the impeccably horn-written line in the little journal Celestia had magicked for her.
“What, with flowers and balloons?” had been the first thing to come out of Twilight’s mouth after seeing Celestia’s first task for her.
Celestia had laughed, that gentle, knowing laugh of hers. “Oh Twilight. Always so literal. No, the tasks are…indirect sometimes. Part of the fun is figuring out exactly how they are meant to vex ponies. Or how you can best interpret them to do so. Would balloons vex Luna?”
“Confuse her yes, so maybe a little, but…” Twilight had frowned. “Not really vex, exactly, no.”
“What sort of decoration do you think would vex her?”
Twilight thought. “Hmm. Something that would be more than just strange. Something that would needle her specifically in some way…” A grin spread slowly across Twilight’s face. She knew exactly what she needed to do.
Now she set down the cans of paint, one white, one gold, and set to work. It was a quick and dirty job; she didn’t worry too much about perfect edges. Time. Was. Ticking! Indeed, she’d only just set down the brush when she heard hooves in the corridor outside.
With an almost manic grin on her face she scooped up the paint cans in her magic and teleported out, using the air-swap method to remove the tell-tale “pop”, so that she vanished silently and without a trace.
She re-appeared in Celestia’s rooms and immediately caroled, “I did it!”
“Shall we scry and see her reaction?” said Celestia, with an indulgent smile.
Twilight danced in place excitedly. “Please! Yes! Hee!” She felt herself nearly vibrating with a forbidden thrill.
With another chuckle, Celestia lit her horn and cast a scrying spell, opening a circular window into the throne room. Luna had obviously just stepped inside, and was standing, flanked by a pair of guards, and staring at the pair of white-and-gold thrones. The expression of surprise on her face made Twilight feel like she might explode. How was something so small so exciting?
Then Luna looked directly at the scrying window, her eyes narrowing, and said, “This indignity shall not go unanswered, sister.”
Twilight saw Celestia flush, and she shut the scrying spell down. “Oh dear. I fear I have inadvertently restarted our old prank war, through you.”
With a small, serene smile Twilight reached out and patted Celestia’s shoulder. “Luna can’t prank you directly, right? I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”
Celestia frowned faintly. “I suppose.”
“Don’t worry about it. Whatever happens, I won’t participate in letting things get out of control.” Then she couldn’t help her grin. “That was so much fun, though. Her expression! Hee!”
Celestia let slip a little giggle. “It was, wasn’t it? You see why we play?”
“I do! So, let me cross this one off.” She pulled out her notebook, with her cutie mark on one side and Celestia’s on the other, and with a sense of deep satisfaction, drew a line through her completed task.
Decorate Luna’s Throne.
Some time later Twilight carefully shelved the magical notebook on a shelf that contained various personal journals and notebooks that she’d filled over the years. Then she pulled out a second small book, shelved next to it. Things had gone very well this evening, and she felt she was ready to fully commit to the game.
That meant checking the other book, the one that she’d received after getting a second opinion on the nature and history of the game. The one that held her own cutie mark on one cover and Luna’s on the other.
She opened it up, and saw that though her side of the book had been blank when Luna had given it to her, a task had since appeared there.
A broad grin blossomed on her face. This was going to be such fun.
Make Celestia go barehoof
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awesome :3
Evil, devilish beings, these alicorns
Aww, it's over?
9942433
All good things must come to an end, alas.
9942457
Either that, or go on long enough to become bad things. (Same principle as the original quote, honestly)
This was a wonderfully heartwarmingly fun fic, and I shall recommend it to everyone in my house immediately. Thank you for making me laugh out loud!
If you ever decide to write a sequel, I wouldn't be opposed...
9942480
It's not super likely. I feel like the pranks would get repetitive eventually, and I don't have any great ideas to keep it fresh.
A magnificent end to a magnificent story!
What's "Untitled Goose Game" about?
9942521
You are a goose. Like all geese, you are an asshole. That's basically the whole game in a nutshell.
9942601
I suppose it depends on how magic actually works, but I feel like flinging spells around *right in front* of an awake and alert Twilight might be a bad idea!
9942521
9942552
What they said. It's a game where you play as a goose and you mess with people. Steal their stuff, make them run around, lure them into silly actions, etc. All the tasks in this fic are based on ones from the game.
oh no she's playing both sides
That was a fun story, and I couldn't have asked for a better ending. Thanks for writing this!
hjönk
Good story op
The Alicorn of Proxy Pranking.
9942486
I guess "Be on TV" is a bit of a non-prank as the leader of a nation as well.
Or "Go Shopping."
I would like to see Celestia running through town with a bell though.
Well, Celestia got caught. Wouldn't expect anything less from Twilight and her over-preparedness. When DID she find a copy of that book under Celestia's bed, anyway?
There goes our princess of books and following rules, breaking them to pull pranks. So proud of her. Painting Luna's throne to match Celestia's was hilarious.
Somehow I was expecting Cadence to be in on the game by the end too. She might be stretched thin on time for tasks between running the Crystal Empire and mothering Flurry, but she could manage. It would be glorious fun to have all four princesses playing this little game. Then Flurry could join after she turns eighteen.
Just like the game this fic was based on, the fic was shorter than I thought it was going to be. But it was still very fun.
9942486
That's reasonable. I suppose I just want to be able to read it for the first time again. It really was that good!
9942827
The Cadance's crown bit was based on the bell task. Logic chain was basically, "Celestia isn't going to pull this kind of thing on people who would actually chase her with hostility--soured diplomatic relationships are very high on the 'collateral damage is bad form' scale. So who chases her? Aha!
Ponies trying to help!"
That was delightful.
Oh noes, the horrible alicorns are multiplying!
Let us all hope nobody lets teenage Flurry Heart find about this...
The Hjönking has ended.....for now
Plz make a sequel that has all the alicorns BUT Cadence in on the game... I would prefer if it was from Cadence's perspective and her just being super confused as to why the strange things keep happening
Loved this! Want more! MOOORE! :P
9943045
I agree this would be hilarious!
This was a cute little story. I liked it.
This could have gone on forever, but this is a most satisfactory conclusion. I do hope Twilight introduces Cadence to the game when she takes the throne. It'll help keep her sane over the centuries.
9942988
Hjönkening*
Luna retaliates by sending Twilight after Celestia. They send each other challenges while using Twilight to prank each other? That sounds fun.
Wonderful story!
9952030
Feast your eyes on me screencap! Then play "Match the Elements to their current shapes' color, and which magical aura has them!" Gold = Celestia. Blue = Luna. (Check out Luna's giant head.)
i.imgur.com/OnjWd21.png
Bet you'll NEVER guess which Element is Magic and who has it.
9942486
That’s when you ask either the readers or all nearby children for ideas, and also, always jump down the rabbit hole
This was such a stupid fun read. Great work!
10018753
Thanks!
10030645
Huh, you’re right. Thanks, man!
Centuries later, historians of the Underground Archives would chronicle these events as the start of Twilight's descent into madness, and the foundation of her eventual coup over the Heavenly Sisters (May they shine forevermore), ushering in the Age of Twilight.
So... what your saying is... HONK!
OK, I finally finished it. Shame on you Twilight!
I can imagine Discord watching while casually eating popcorn and enjoying the show. Of course he has made damn sure to safe guard Fluttershy from the "Untitled Alicorn Game"
honk