Hello! My name is DivineRoyalty, and I am an aspiring author, musician, and artist! I hope you enjoy!
Although your new life might be as close to perfect as it could possibly get, doubts begin to surface in your mind as to why you have been treated so kindly. Why have you been accepted? Fed? Clothed? Housed? Why have any of these things occurred when you have done nothing to deserve them?
A certain Princess of the Sun provides the answer.
EDIT 11/21/2019: Now with an audio reading by StraightToThePointStudio! https://youtu.be/-K0XO7HUVNg
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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9730265
Bruh. XD
9730313
Pretty sure Pinkie did that once or twice elsefic,
"Say, does this smell like chloroform to you?" *Mmmph!*
9730820
Thanks!
That was a nice little short story.
9731255
Thank you so much!
A very nice story. Speaks to me on a certain level. Thank you for writing it!
Whos the artist of the cover pic?
9732146
Thank you! I’m very glad I was able to write something that significant to you!
9733152
The artist is assasinmonkey
This is really well done. Especially for your first story. Its cute, interesting and heart warming.
This only criticism I have is I wish it was longer but do not take this as a bad thing,
If a story leaves you wanting more then the author has done their job perfectly.
I look forward to your future work. Its a follow from me.
9735190
Thank you lots! My future stories will much likely be longer — this one was written out of a fit of inspiration that, once it was completed, I didn’t really feel like I could add anything more to.
Thank you for your comment, thanks for the follow, and thank you for your time!
You know, there's a debate in there. A loud, lengthy one. But, let's see if I can cut it short:
Every form of selflesness is, ultimately, selfish - in that it fulfills a basic desire to feel "good", to have your brain release endorphins for your benefit. But... it ultimately doesn't matter, because it cancels itself out, in a way - by giving something to someone else's joy, you receive the joy of giving in return, that much is true... but you'd enjoy the thing itself, had you not given it away. Your net result is the same.
However, the "selfless" part is in that someone else also receives joy from the act. That is what sets this apart. There's no point in analysing whether your own satisfaction makes it selfish or not - your brain would've rewarded you either way, for different reasons. The fact that someone else is positively affected by your action makes all the difference to the equation.
In fact, I don't think "selfish" and "selfless" are good words to use entirely. "Selfish" implies thinking of others, but most people considered "selfish" don't think of others at all - their failure is oft not one of malice, but simple ignorance. Similarly, receiving joy by giving it is also not "selfless", because you think of both others and yourself at the same time (and why shouldn't you?).
For a first story, it's pretty nice. I personally would've dug deeper, probably... but that's just me, it has no bearing on you or your character.
Nice, short, and to the point. A bit too fluffy on the descriptions, perhaps - the beginning spun its wheels a bit before the middle caught some traction, and it may've helped to include some subtle clues that this is somepony else's room before jumping in bed with Celestia, so to speak (... unless you did, and they were subtle enough that I missed them!) - but a pleasant read nonetheless.
9801709
First of all, thank you for your comment, and thank you for taking the time to analyze the part you did!
In as far as the subject for debate goes, it was my goal to portray the main character as someone who thinks, even if sometimes too much, because overthinking is something that I have dealt with very much in the past, and still do, to a degree. Whether or not her actions were selfless or selfish was something that I intended to be a point about which the main character would argue with himself, as another idea I wished to portray was the idea of internal struggle versus actual occurrences.
Secondly, thank you for reading, and I’m glad you enjoyed it! It sincerely means a lot to me that you would take time out of your day to read my story, and to that end, I am quite grateful!
Thirdly, my apologies if the beginning felt a little out of place. I did not include many clues as to the fact that the setting was another’s room, and thus, you did not miss anything.
Overall and truly, thank you so very much for your analysis, your kind words, and your suggestions. It truly does mean a lot to me!
I hope you have a wonderful day!
9801807
Well... I like to listen to myself speak, so if it also happens to bring someone... less-than-suffering, that's a win! :D
And believe me, I appreciate it. It was actually fairly easy to slip into character. The emotions weren't too extreme, and nothing really felt out of place. I like characters that think - they're kinda rare, especially if it's something you can show like you did, instead of just telling us that he does.
Well, to be perfectly honest, I approached it the same way I approach the other two dozen or so stories I sometimes go through a day - with mild curiosity, and a big bag of reservations. Shorts are a good way to 'get into' a writer, since they tend to showcase their writing abilities - a sort of demo, if you will - before committing to something longer. I dislike not finishing what I start reading, and sometimes it can be a nightmare...
It feels like your works won't feel that way at all, unless I find something I very much oppose down the line. I have to admit, the idea of committing to reading "A Broken Harmony" is sounding pretty good right now. Though... I think I'll hold off on that, at least until there's some more meat on those three bones... ;] One thing I truly detest is waiting for the next chapter, and I equally hate demanding a rush-job! So my best approach is, sadly... to wait for the whole thing. ;)
Conflicted, there, as well! I'd want you to be done with it quickly, but if it's any good - and I expect it might be - I'd hate for it to end too soon. :D
Please, don't apologize. It's a stylistic choice you've made - or perhaps something you didn't consider enough... either way, it's a result of work, and never apologize for putting in the work. ;)
If you feel bad about how it is - and not because I somehow didn't like it 100%, but because it bothers your artistic senses - then by all means, rewrite part of it. Or don't. I may offer my thoughts, but it's your story, you get the final say.
Late evening, actually - but thanks all the same, and you as well.
how does a conversation logically progress from a worry about freeloading, to a discussion about love, motherly love specifically mind you, only to then end in an affirmation of romance?
Either the Celestia of this world is pony version christian grey or this is an Aquila Rift situation.
9954584
Oh my goodness! You're awesome! Thanks so much!
9954590
He is still not!—-
You’re welcome -/-
I like this story.
Here’s the only thing I’d change though.
Probably not using a “Romance” tag. Especially when the love shown here is the kind that is shown by a mother and a child, or even best friends; rather than romantic lovers.
And I should know; I’m LoveandEdify.
T H O T
Ever so lovely
This...
This book was made a single week after my mother died, I was only 11. Well, anyways good story!