“Uh… hi?” asks in a questioning tone as he waves with his first two fingers and thumb while the other two loosely clutch to the neck of a bottle. Said bottle appears to be… no… is he really?
“Null? What are you doing here? And have you been drinking?” I ask with a bit of nervousness that I can’t shake. If he’s drunk, he’s even more unpredictable than before.
It’s now that I notice that his strange eye is clenched shut, with traces of blood around the rim of it. There's only one thing I know he can do that causes that, and the thought of what he might have done terrifies me.
He takes a moment to process my question, raising a finger in thought, then looks around confused. “Why am I here? Hm…. oh. Oh yeah! I saw something shiny over in this direction from Canterlot and I wanted to find out what it was! And wandering around town, the only source of light is coming from here. So I figured, this must be where the shiny is!” he explains as if this was normal.
One thing seems to stand out to me though… “how did you get here? The girls and I took the last train of the day, and Canterlot is at least a couple hours away. And why would you want to FIND something shiny anyways?”
He makes a snapping sound with his fingers, and chuckles. “I teleported! It hurt like hell though… still does. My guess is the farther I try to go, the more it hurts.”
I stare at him wide eyed. HE CAN TELEPORT?! while this is a better reason than the alternative, that he killed someone and was coming for me next, it’s still baffling to think that he can do it. “And.... my second question?”
“Huh? Oh! I… actually don’t know why. Just felt compelled to.” he states. We stand there for a bit longer in awkward silence, before he clears his throat and looks directly at me. “Listen, I don’t think I can make it back to Canterlot on my own… and I’d rather not be alone with my thoughts. Can… can I stay here? Just for the night?” he asks.
I cringe a little internally, not really wanting to let him into my home. But standing the way he is in the doorway, he just looks… pitiful. So different from when I first saw him. So vulnerable instead of angry. Suddenly, an idea pops in my head. If we can make friends with him, then he’ll have more people to listen to! And he won’t kill anyone!
Hesitantly smiling, I nod and motion for him to come in with a hoof. “Sure! Everyone else is upstairs right now. Um. you should probably go to the bathroom and clean up a little bit before coming upstairs though. There's still a bit of blood.”
He touches around his eye and winces a little, and looks at his now bloodied finger. He sighs and looks around. I point him in the direction of the downstairs bathroom, but before he can start, I step in front of him. “What’s the deal Twilight?”
I gulp and decide to push my luck a bit. “I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight. You shouldn’t even be drinking in the first place, you’re a child still; at least physically.”
He narrows his eye at me, and looks at me for a couple seconds before letting out a sigh while shrugging. He hands me the bottle, which I take in my magic and step aside to let him to go the bathroom. Looking at the bottle, I decide to dump the rest of it just in case he decides to try and take it back. I take it into the kitchen and proceed to dump it all down the drain, and deposit the bottle into the trash, and head back upstairs. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, everyone looks at me.
Dash speaks up first, evidently done with her hoof wrestling. “Who was it?”
“Had to be someone noteworthy if it took you so long.” Rarity tacks on.
I close my eyes, take a calming breath, let it out, and open my eyes again. “It was Null. he’s staying the night.”
Suddenly everyone looks at me wide eyed and they all let out a collective string of questions, ranging from why, how, and for some reason something about oatmeal from Pinkie.
I clear my throat and stamp my hoof to stop everyone's yammering. “Apparently, he teleported. I guess he can do that. As for why, he can’t make it back. It hurt him too much to get here and he asked if he could stay the night.”
“And you said yes?!” Rainbow questions.
“Of course I did! We can’t just let him wander around unsupervised. Who knows what he’d do? Besides, I had a great idea! If we can make friends with him, then he’ll be less likely to hurt anyone. Not exactly the best reason to try and make friends, but the ends justify the means, don’t they?” I explain. “Besides, this way we can learn a bit about him instead of just assuming bad things and writing mean songs about him.” I narrow my eyes at Pinkie at that last sentence, who shrinks back with a sheepish grin.
I then hear a flush from downstairs, and following that, steps up the stairs. Looking towards the stairs, I see Null climbing them. He trips over the final step, and falls flat on his face. “Owie…”
I help him up, and Applejack voices a new question. “Is he alright Twi? Something seems off about him.”
“He’s fine, just a bit intoxicated is all.” I answer.
“He’s drunk?” Dash asks with a mischievous grin on her face.
I glare at her. “Yes, which means no playing any pranks on him.”
Null speaks up from beside me. “I’m not drunk, just a bit tipsy.”
Applejack gives him a leveled look with a raised eyebrow. “Really? I can smell the booze off your breath from here.”
He waves a hand dismissively. “Bah, I’m drunk… so what?” he then heads over to the couch and flops down on it.
“While it may not be the best way to go about making friends, it certainly makes it easier!” Pinkie chirps as she hops to his side. Most wouldn’t be able to tell, but having known her long enough, it's easy to tell how uneasy she is with the situation. She’s scared. Of course, I don’t blame her one bit. I think we all are a bit scared here.
Null turns to look around the room, stopping for a second to look at each of us. We all look back. He takes a deep inhale and lets it out. “Come on, I’m not gonna do anything, so stop lookin’ at me like that.” he says with a bit of annoyance in his voice.
At that, everyone snaps their vision to anything but him. This time, he groans. “Stop that, all of you. If I’m that big a wrench in the works that y'all can’t go back to whatever it was you were doing, I can just go. It's not hard to see where you’re not wanted.” he gets up to go, and none of us make to stop him. We all just stand there guilty looking, but not wanting to admit he’s right.
Surprisingly though, someone does stop him. Fluttershy, of all ponies, walks up to him and tugs at his pants just before he can take the first step down the stairs; causing him to stop in his tracks. The room is silent, all of us fearful of what he might do.
“...Y-you don’t have to go Null. I’ll be the first to admit... were all s-scared of you.” we all cringe at that, thinking he’ll just get more angry. “We all know what happened. And while I don’t agree with you… I understand your reason. I’m personally terrified… but, I don’t want to have to be. None of us want to. And we certainly don’t want to fight you, or see you fall that far. So please. Don’t go.”
He stands there for a moment, his back still turned to us. After a moment, he speaks. “You know why Luna fell victim to Nightmare Moon, right?” nobody says anything, but Fluttershy gives a small ‘mhm’ in response. I’m a bit confused as to why he’s asking such a thing, but brush it off in favor of concern for Fluttershy’s immediate safety. He then lets out a sigh and turns back, looking down on Fluttershy, who offers him a soft smile in return. He opens his left eye, which causes us all to visibly flinch, and my heart rate to skyrocket in fear. He watches Fluttershy for a moment, then smiles. He actually smiles.
He then drops to his knees, and were all startled when he wraps his arms around her in a hug, and starts babbling incoherently. Only thing I’m able to catch is something about a ‘one eyed bloody monster’. Tears are brimming from his eyes, and surprisingly, no blood is coming from his left eye; just tears. Fluttershy hugs him back after getting over her initial surprise from the sudden contact, rubbing his back and whispering calming things into his ear.
I can’t help but find myself smiling at the display, and a quick glance around the room shows everyone else has a small smile as well; even Dash can’t help a small grin.
Eventually, Null lets go of Fluttershy, and stands up, wiping away the tears from his eyes. Fluttershy herself turns and looks to the rest of us. “How about we continue this little get together then, hm?”. We all nod in agreement, and Null moves back to the couch with a smile plastered on his face.
I notice Rarity hesitantly poke his knee to gain his attention. “Hm? What’s up.” he questions.
“I can’t help but wonder, how did you know our names? Back when we first met?” she asks.
“Huh? Oh. Oh! That’s because of my eye.” he says as if that’s a normal thing.
I tilt my head and shamelessly take this opportunity to learn more about his eye. “Can you elaborate?”
He looks at me confused. “Huh?”
I roll my eyes. Small words Twilight, small words. He’s drunk after all, so I should also take everything he says with a grain of salt. “I mean, can you explain how that works?”
“Oh. well basically… how can I put this how you’ll understand… imagine a card. And that card has a bunch of information about you. And only I can see that card. It just kinda floats around whatever it’s for.” he looks at me. “So for example, your moms name is Twilight Velvet. Now, I don’t know what she looks like, how she behaves, or even how she sounds. I just know that's her name, and she’s your mom. Another example, that book you have laying on the table has 246 pages. I don’t know what’s written on those pages, or how many words are in the book.” he explains surprisingly well.
My curiosity outweighs my unease at the fact that he can just know all this. “So it works on objects too… wait, doesn’t it hurt to do that?” I ask, recalling the blood from when he teleported.
“I mean… not anymore? It never hurt in the same way the other things make me hurt. When I first got this eye, I couldn’t see anything because of it. Remember those cards I told you about? Imagine them everywhere; So many that it blocks your vision. Little info cards about every little insignificant thing. I had to keep my eye closed, otherwise I’d be pretty much blind. Took me… I’d say around 200 years to be able to use it properly.” he says.
My eyes bug out and I can’t stop myself from saying what I say next. “TWO HUNDRED YEARS!? Just to learn to use a single spell?!”
He frowns a bit but shrugs. “First off, it's not a spell. I don’t know what to call it, but I know enough about magic to know this isn’t directly a spell. Or if it is, it’s constantly active; Never really had a chance to get someone to scan me for magic. And no, that doesn’t mean I’m asking you to do it right now. Second, yes. Two hundred years. Small amount of time in the grand scheme of things, but I can see how that would seem like a long time for you. But when you’ve got nothing to do but watch and observe the world in front of you, ocular abilities tend to be the only thing you can work towards. Now I can keep my eye open and not see a single card unless I want to. But I generally let it show me cards that would be of interest. How it knows what’s useful and what's not… I don’t know.”
I’m at a loss for how useful such an ability could be. Still dangerous, but useful. I’ll have to scan him later…
And just like that, the questions went on and on, ranging from what else my eye could do, what snacks I liked, what I was, and even fashion. I answered them all as best I could, even if Twilight didn’t believe me when I said I didn’t know what else I can do besides what she’s seen already. I did make a show of teleporting around for them though. They freaked out when they saw the blood, but I washed it up. They didn’t let me teleport anymore after that; bunch of party poopers. The rest of the night went on like a regular party, and I was actually happy. Drunk, but happy. I like these ponies. They’re nice.
So now I find myself laying on the couch in the dark now, since I don’t have a sleeping bag and I’d probably be too big for one here anyways. Everyone else has already went to bed in their sleeping bags, or actual bed in Twilight’s case. Apparently Twilight has an assistant as well. He went to bed before I showed up, so I didn’t get to meet him, but I’m sure we will in the morning. I take one last look around the dark room, the ponies scattered around on the floor. Pinkie somehow cleaned up in less than a minute, which scared the piss outta me, but at least they have a clean space to sleep. Taking one last look around the room, I smile and close my eyes, drifting off to my first peaceful sleep.
Awesome chapter as always. I'm always excited when a new one comes out. Kept up the good work man
I was curious and pretty astonished that he was so coherent for a drunk person, and now I know why. Can't say that i'm much different to you and your experience though so I guess it makes sense lol. Good Chap, I will eagerly be awaiting more!
I usually end up falling asleep when I drink alcohol... So don't feel inclined to engage in any shenanigans.
Dude this is a really good story I love the idea around it, and the chapters are great, keep up the good work man.
Always glad to see an update!
Really interesting concept and a REALLLY good execution of it. The charectors isboth likeable and realistic while not being Overdramatic or uncharacteristically impulsive unlike most other HiE. I can't wait for a new update
Will he be able to trap someone in illusions or their mind where time will flow how fast he wants, (for example 1s=1h in real life) and make happen whatever he wants in there?
9671377
his abilities are not at all based on the sharingan, or any eye from naruto... while some may be similar in the future, they are all thought up for their application and relation to the skillset I plan for him to have.
9671226
yeah. not all people who are drunk are incoherent babbling messes. some just get emotional, some just get angry, some do...other... things. Null seems to be the emotional drunk, with a touch of afinity for shiny objects.
The fear the ponies show is now officially bordering on melodrama. He hardly even has the abilities that Twilight has shown yet they approach him like he's a rabid animal capable of killing everyone in an instant. Sure someone threatening to kill someone is quite different but it seems ridiculous that they would be that scared of him considering all that they've theyve gone up against during the show. I mean he can shoot blasts and now teleport, hes the equievelent of a bipedal unicorn that only knows two spells, thats less terrifying then 90% of the threats in the show.
Mm, I wonder what's next for our little shinobi. Xp
9671410
Candybus dandy but liquor is quicker: willly wonka
While Null being pissed was satisfying and he's gone through alot, I hope more of the fourteen year old Null is shown. He's over 2014 years old but he hasn't experienced alot of that time besides watching. I just hope him being 14 isn't just forgotten or brushed over, he is still just a kid for all he's gone through.
9671575
"just a kid" also implies time conscious or experienced, not just physical age. I think acting like a callus adult is about right, you the reader just have to remember his body is fourteen. So every word he says is coming out of the mouth of a teenager.
9671609
I just think that his age shouldn't be forgotten or overlooked to much, just because he's about 1014 years old mentally doesn't mean he couldn't still behave relatively like a child. Authors done a good job with it so far, it feels like his character is aged but he still acts a bit like a child sometimes
like the story man actually started writing a bit because of it
I learned that I laugh more when I'm tipsy and uh, I tried to spell the alphabet backwards. This is after I've had a normal beer and two mint mojitos.
9671689
There is also the fact that mental maturity and factors such as impulse control and decision making skills are actually affected by your biological age and the physical development and maturation of your brain as you get older.
Shots Fired! Also Fluttershy is a cinnamon roll, as expected.
Glad fluttershy was able to comfort him. He needs that ...
9671485
i mean... said blast fucking spiderwebbed a dueling circles shield. which, is stronger than a shield that even Luna could put up. given enough time to power a shield, she could make it stronger, but most people dont have time like that in the middle of a fight. so... yeah. he COULD kill people in an instant. on top of that, in the world of ponies, the threat of death has never really been commonplace. they aren't as numb to it as we are.
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9671781
yeah, i try to keep a good balance of childishness and maturity with null. kinda a difficult balance to maintain, but im tryin!
9671706
thats good to hear man! its touching to see i inspired someone to do something.
9672620
But they dont know about his duel, thats litterly not something they could be frightened of. They also faced death regularily in their adventures. The dragon they faced in season 1 could have easily killed them all if he wanted to. Same goes for NMM shes a bloody alicorn capable of moving the moon for crying out loud. Discord weilded nearly infinite power and they faced him down without issue considering the fact that he could have probably snapped them out of existence if he really felt like it.
So with that arguement thoroughly debunked all you have going for you is "He made a threat to kill someone and then immediatly when presented with the opportunity he both didnt follow through with it, and had a very valid reason to make such a threat and thats why hes scary."
You are reaching, and poorly might I add.
9672945
They saw him attack Celestia, who did nothing but pull up a shield; which also cracked and splintered, and nearly completely wavered until Luna stepped in to stop him. He knocked out their guards, nearly killing a few, and definitely crippling a couple. He didn't kill them because they werent his focus, and his goal was right there in front of him. They were nothing to him, he just wanted them out of the way. He'd kill them later when they came at him with the intent to kill. He was presented with the opportunity to kill Celestia plenty of times and each time had voiced his desire to do so. The reason he didn't is cuz Luna was the only thing holding him back. When he first woke up he showed he is very much okay with making good on his threat to kill. That's why they're afraid of him. He's a huge unknown, people fear what they don't know. They know he can teleport and blast things, but they didn't know he could teleport until recently. Surely they would realize, if he can teleport, who knows what else he can do? You're argument of them facing down those other opponents who COULD have done those things to them, is invalid anyways. Simply because, null doesn't fall into that category for them. It's the same kind of overhanging fear that you get if say you knew a friend wanted to commit suicide. You can't always be there to make sure he doesn't, and there's a chance you can't stop them even if you tried. He isn't running around killing everyone, but he has the potential to do so. Imagine sleeping on a live grenade, that's the kind of threat null is to them. They don't have to stop him, but they fear they'll have to at some point. You said they faced the villains (which they did). But do you honestly think they did so without a single bit of fear in their hearts? They were all obviously at least a bit scared. They faced the POSSIBILITY of death, sure, but I personally don't think they understand the weight of that. Never once did any villain threaten to kill them. Yeah, they all could have killed them. But none ever did. It's always been take over attempt (or just ecosystem endangerment in the dragons case), always ending with no deaths. In my world, sure it's a bit more realistic in how I approached it. But not much has really changed for the main sixes journey in my headcannon, only the open door of possibilities that was the past to expand upon. So as I said, null is a different kind of threat. He's been pardoned by Luna (obviously, don't need anything to tell you that) on the promise he won't kill her sister, because she knows he's willing to. So my question to you is, how do you deal with something when at the moment, there's nothing to deal with? If they build up and prepare for him to go crazy, and he finds out, it would obviously piss him off, increasing the chance of what they fear happening. If they don't, and he does go off one day, then they are unprepared anyways. THAT is why they fear him.
YOUR debunk has been debunked, thoroughly I might add. YOU'RE reaching, quite far. I sit every day and think about everything I put into this story, asking myself if it makes sense. I'm a man of logic by nature, theory crafting is one of my favorite things to do. Please, don't insult me by saying I'm reaching with my reasoning. I don't mind criticism, but there's no reason to put insults in them. I didn't insult you directly when you commented because it doesn't add any weight to my arguement, only makes me look like an asshole.
If you manage to come up with something to counter this I'll be surprised. If you manage to come up with something that genuinely counters this and makes sense, that doesn't involve a short statement of something that doesn't even support your arguement, I'll be impressed. Thank you and have a wonderfully handsome rest of your day.
9673002
Yeah I'm not reading all that but judging from the first few sentances its not anything that any of the enemies theyve fought so far couldnt have done with relative ease, the only difference is you have yet to show how truly different he is. Did he cripple enemies? Discord did as well, driving ponies mad with the plan of keeping them utterly insane for (presumably) the entire rest of their lives. NMM would have brought an end to all life on the planet and ushered in a dictatorship over the entire nation. What is Null compared to a being capable of warping the fabric of space time, and a potentially genocidal mad mare wanting to overthrow their entire goverment? Compared to the world ending threats they have fought before hes a suped up a unicorn that put all his points into mana blast. Furthermore its been shown that he is litterly not a threat to anyone but Celestia, something youve gone out of your way to explain on several different occasions, yet they are still scared? I mean a little fear is normal but shaking in their boots for multiple chapters even after being shown that hes not a threat to them? And after they were shown to be not afraid of even a nigh omnipotent villian like Discord?
It just seems like this Null fellow is a self insert your trying way too hard to make intimidating when hes far less scary and with far less cruel intent then even Discord or NMM.
If you want to put him apart you need to do something that other bad guys havent already been shown to be willing to do. Have him do something truly cruel, as right now the highest cruelty hes managed is saying he wants to kill someone and then not following up, which is far less intimidating then you seem to think it is.
9673060
EDIT: also, just putting this here since you probably wont make it to the bottom of this reply, downvoting my comment? real mature m8. i'll not do the same to you though, cuz im better than that.
not reading the full arguement i made, is just ignorant. but, thats on you, because what I at least just gave you the courtesy of reading your full reply, and I can tell you, you did nothing to counter my point. congratulations, you're a failure. though i will say, he's a threat to everyone. if he kills celestia, you think they'll just let that go? no. you think null will just stand idly by while the hunt him down? no. you make null seem like he can't do anything, but you fail to realize that the threat he poses is very real. obviously I cannot prove that to you, so if you don't like my narrative, you can talk your wonderful self and stop reading. You have your thoughts, I have mine, but the difference between you and I, I'm the one writing this story. checking out your profile, I see you write short stories and one shots. can't help but notice you've not written any story like what i am(not saying im unique, but saying the type.just saying). i'll probably end up reading a couple of them admittedly (cuz im a degenerate). but will i tell you how you should have written any of them? course not. this is my story, and you're not part of it. i'll not change my narrative because someone doesn't like it. im all over the place with this reply, and I wish i could take the time to formulate a choherent response, but I'm distracted watching the e3 streams. but hey, you didn't read my full response, so why should i grace you with a full response? TL;DR, im not changing just because you don't like it, and if I can't please you, oh well. (seriously though, your own writing i'll probably check out.)
9673116
If you think downvotes and upvotes truly matter and take great offence to them, the only petty one here is you. :P Seriously dude, they are fake internet points that litterly mean nothing.
I havent written long form content... wtf? I have written several stories that have over a hundred thousand words in them one of which has over one thousand six hundred upvotes, over ten thousand veiws and is nearing the two hundred thousand word mark. I have written updates longer then this entire story is. XD Get out of here with the whole "Youve never written anything like this before" bullshit. I've litterly cut more content then you've ever written.
The long and short of it is that you know all of those things, but we the auidence, as well as the characters do not. All of what you said may be true, but its not readily apparent to anyone that doesnt not have the advantage of being the author. I think a bunch of people are getting bored with the 'hes so scary' routine because it hasnt expressely been shown in a manner that truly puts him apart. And even if you did, its just not entertaining, or realistic. No matter how scary something is, if its been shown to be not a danger to you, and youve been around it alot, you grow numb, or learn how to avoid it. Having the ponies constantly go "ahhh its Null!" Is just boring at this point, and seems repetitive, like your trying to tell us hes super duper cool and strong, without showing us.
9673131
i must not have seen those stories in particular then. apologies m8. i sorta just glanced through your story list page, and they seemed to be all oneshots or short stories. also, no, they don't matter to me and i don't take "great offense" to them, like you said, i just think its pretty immature to do such a thing. and you did it again, and you'll probably do it for this comment as well. whatever m8, enjoy your life. done with this conversation; take what u will from that, you'll probably say something like "running from your problems" or something, but truely i just dont see a point in argueing this anymore. cheers m8.
9673131
side note, despite your writing experience over mine, you're seem to fall towards the more sexual nature. so length, sure. but content. again, this is from what i've seen, which is a quick glance. thats what i meant, the content type, (hate to call my own story this, but typical HIE storyline). not length.
Excellent. I am very interested in what happens next.
Keep up the good work, Deka.
9673168
know what. thanks. genuinely thanks. good to hear this after my day.
9673161
All I wanted to point out was that you have the advantage of knowing everything that happens in your story, but we dont, and expecting us to to read the comments in order to explain away why the characters are performing, boring, repetitive things is not the best way of doing things. Thats all my dude. Best of luck when it comes to learning, and growing.
Youve also written 73,490 words while ive written 1,514,441.
9673172
said i wouldn't say anything, but your most recent reply restores my faith in you. thanks m8, same to you.
Pity he didn't use his drunkeness to declare himself a god. I mean, ponies praid to him for good fortune, so that would have fit. Though I hope his history as a statue will get more mentions in the future.
9673060
Sorry, but kinda agree with this guy. "Oh no, he can find out irrelevant info about things, how dangerous!" You know what else is dangerous? Basically everything if used in the right way. Teleport someone into a solid object or only teleport half of them. Levitate someone high up and drop them, or drop something on someone from high up. Twilight herself probably has more ways to kill people than he does, they're waaaay too frightened of him for the things he has done, not to mention that they still haven't acknowledged that Celestia is the one in the wrong for imprisoning a child in stone for 1000 years for literally no reason nor have they even offered to get him much needed therapy for all the mental and emotional scars that such a thing has surely left on him. At this point it basically amounts to victim blaming and it's starting to get on my nerves, but I'll keep an eye out anyways in case that changes.
9674720
This, so much this.
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Dragons exist in their world, they are a known factor. Discord, also is something that they have a frame of reference for coping with.
Null... is brand new to most of them, his species and his abilities. People (and ponies) are often afraid of what they have no understanding of. Some things are an instinctual response, and these things are often very hard to overcome.
Luna is trying to be there for him. Celestia seems shocked at what she discovered about Null (the fact that he is/was 14, and had stumbled onto the eye mere days beforehand). The Elements and Spike are trying to befriend him, trying to understand him.
So yes, they are very afraid of him, they have no frame of reference for what he is capable of, and to them, he probably seems mentally unstable. But they are trying, and that's where it all starts.
9675302
In the show, at the point that we are picking up with it in this story, Twilight expressly states that they and I quote "Know almost nothing about dragons." So right off the bat that one is just wrong. They have an inkling of what dragons are like and a fair understanding of their abilities, but in the show, Twilight talks about how they know very little about dragons on several occasions and say explicity that they have almost no written texts on them. *The dragon migration episode in particular.
Discord. Saying they have a complete grasp on Discord's power is like saying you understand the nature of chaos. Sure, you might have an idea again, but it been shown that he has nigh-omnipotence and borderline unmitigated reality warping. Whats one man compared to the powers of a god who can break the minds of mortals on a whim and remake existance at a snap? Shouldnt they logically be more fearful of him having a mood swing and simply unmaking them from reality rather then one guy using his powerful eye beam?
So they have as much a frame of reference on him as they do Discord or dragons. They know he's a child, they know he can only use two abilities, they know that he can see small details about their life and that he is physically weak. They arguably have more information on him, then dragons and unlike Discord, or Dragons hes more then willing to divuldge any and all information on his powers, species, history, etc.
9675340
to be fair, the ponies being scared of him is something i'm trying to assuage. despite all your arguements, (true or false as they may be, not delving back into that) one thing remains true. they were definitely scared when he first showed up. i think we can all agree on that. fear doesn't go away in a snap. it goes away over time, you can't just stop being scared of something because you're told to. can't control it.
coming back to this table with a new frame of mind, (partially from thinking over your words), i'd say its a simple fix of saying im working towards dispelling fear. why else would he so willingly give them information? (aside from being drunk). i don't think I've state null wants people to fear him. i think i said he has no quarrel with them. so why wouldn't he want their friendship if he could attain it? i just think your thought process on why they shouldn't be scared of him is a bit off. yeah, what about discord? what about the dragons? doesn't change that Null is still a part of their equation. yeah, I punched a guy. what about that other guy who also punched a guy? doesn't change that i punched someone, and doesn't make it any better, yah? it just doesn't make sense to not be scared of something just because you went against much worse, because at the end of the day, no matter a small threat or a big threat, a threat is still a threat.
maybe my ramblings here don't amount to shit, it is all over the place; and i'm as you say, reaching. but i'm still tryin and won't stop. just bare in mind, improvement isn't something you can actively work towards. its a passive thing that occurs while doing something. so have patience with me please.
9675371
Oh absolutely, and credit where its due, you have done a good job at doing just that, the only real complaint I had is that you should have toned it down slightly quicker and thats it, but honestly thats just because I find the repeated reiteration of "Were scared!" To be annoying. However, one genuine tip I can give you is that you don't need to make these expressions of fear large like you have. It could be that when he turns to someone there is a very small twitch, or he notices that their body language is physically turned away from him slightly or that they cross their forelegs while sitting, or that they display fear when he shows up and then you simply never tell the audience that they warm up to him as the audience will simply assume that they are still afraid. These small narrative changes would go far in maintaining that they are afraid, but without resorting to the big "were scared!" declaration that I feel as though you strayed into a little too frequently.
9675422
This. Have them jump slightly at his sudden appearance. Have their fur stand on end, have them break eye contact early, have them smile awkwardly at him. Just show, don't tell, that's an important part of writing, especially when you're writing horror or drama.
Dat Null is DEMOMAN
Please continue
Hey this is pretty good.
I can’t see reasoning behind their actions. Well, i barely can, and it’s illogical for the most part.
9683850
yeah, you're correct.
Absolutely amazing sequel so far, can't wait to read some more.
Is the next chapter almost done
9692001
That comment paired with the profile pic makes it look like you're sooo done with people.
Took me 2 and a half hours to speed read everything thus far. Best 2 and a half hours wasted sitting in the dark alone on a less than comfy chair of my life.