Coming to from my slumber, I slowly rub my eyes. Put off by this, I jump up and my open my eyes wide, looking around. “Oh yeah… not a statue anymore.”
I’m still in Luna’s room, exactly how I passed out. Relaxing a bit, I yawn and stretch, cringing in slight pain every time a bone popped. “Luna?” I call out. No response. My first night of sleep in forever… I’m a little disappointed I didn’t get a dream… oh well.
Getting up, I notice some weight on me that I didn’t notice before; likely due to my anger. Looking down at my chest, I notice the clip to something. Unclipping it, something falls from my back to the ground, and it’s enough to make me jump. Looking back at it, I see it’s just a backpack. My backpack. “Oh yeah… forgot I had that… I wonder what’s in it.”
Sitting down by it, I open it up and take a look inside. Some things I can recognize, like notebooks, pencils, a bottle, and what appears to be food. It takes me a moment to recognize my slingshot, but the device is a complete unknown to me. Pulling out one of the packages of food, I take a look at the inside. It doesn’t look like its aged at all…
Giving it a sniff, nothing seems off as far as I can tell. Closing it up again, I put the package back in the backpack, and close it up. Suddenly, I’m hit with a weird feeling in the lower half of my body. What the… oh… oh crap! Literally!
Looking around the room, I find the bathroom thanks to my eye letting me know which door was it, and run over to it, nearly tripping over myself on the way there. Throwing the door open, I rush in and go about my business.
As disgusting as it sounds, it was euphoric. Not the action itself, but the fact I did it. Something about everything I do just has a touch of satisfaction to it. Probably from not having been able to do anything in the past. Looking over at the shower, I decide to go ahead and take one. Locking the door, I strip down to nothing and bundle my clothes up, leaving them on the toilet lid. Stepping into the huge shower, tub thing that seems more akin to a big hot tub than an actual tub, I take a look at the fixtures. “Lets see…. Yep… yeah… yes, this confirms it. I have no idea how this thing works.” deciding to just twist random knobs until something happens, I grab both knobs and twist. The water starts jutting from the tub faucet, at surprisingly a comfortable temperature. beginners luck strikes again! Now… lets see if I can get the shower running.
Looking at the knobs I haven’t twisted, I see one in the middle. Giving that one a try, I’m startled by water falling on me. Looking up, I see the entire ceiling panel over the tub is a shower head, giving off the effect of rain. huh… that’s… actually kinda cool.
Standing in the rain like shower, I just stare at a particular point of the tub. Suddenly, the room changes. I’m back in the old garden? What… trying to look around, I find my vision is locked in place. No… no, not again! I see Luna in front of me, smiling a sad smile in the rain. Luna! Do something, I’m a statue again!
She simply frowns and grabs me in magic, and throws me to the ground hard. As soon as I hit the ground, the world goes back to normal. Recoiling in fear, I fall to the ground, and look around, breathing rapidly. Still the same shower…
“What was that…” letting out a sigh, I try to calm my breathing. Leaning against one side of the tub, I decide to watch some of the water fall from the shower panel. Watching it fall towards me for a couple minutes, flashes of the rainbow blast from the elements consume my vision, and nearly cause my heart to stop. When my vision turns back to normal, I just curl up and close my eyes. “No… not again… not ever…”
I don’t know how long I laid there for, but it must have been long enough for Luna to come back, because I hear a knock at the door that startles me. “Null? Are you okay? You’ve been in there for a while…”
Taking a second to compose myself, I respond. “Y-yeah! I’m fine. I’ll be out in a moment.” I get up and grab a random shampoo and conditioner, and start actually cleaning myself. After that, and some body wash, I rinse off and turn off the shower. Looking around for a towel, I find one on a rack and dry myself off as best I can. It doesn’t occur to me that this is probably one of Luna’s used towels until afterwards, but I shrug and hope she won’t notice. Not like I care either way. A towel is a towel.
Going to put on my clothes, something falls out of my pants pocket when I pick it up. Looking at it, I can’t tell what it is. Picking it up, I flip it around and examine it. Pressing one of the buttons on it, the display on it lights up and I get a vague idea of what this might be. Pocketing it again, I finish getting dressed. Noticing other things in my pockets, I pull them both out. Keys and… wallet? Wait a minute… god I’m stupid. Using my eye on the object, I confirm that it is indeed a wallet. Shrugging, I carry them out in my hand, intending on putting them in my backpack. Not like they’ll do me any good here.
Upon walking out, I notice Luna sitting at her desk, writing. I walk over to my bag and put my wallet and keys in the bag. She turns and looks at me when she hears the unzipping of the bag, and tilts her head. “How’re you feeling Null?”
Zipping up my bag, I look at her. “Honestly? I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure out what each of these feelings even are… speaking of feelings…”
She raises an eyebrow and motions for me to continue with a hoof.
Taking a deep breath and letting it out, I start. “Sorry about yesterday… I was still mad from… you know who…” my fist clenches at the thought of her, but I let it go. “But it still wasn’t fair to take it out on you.”
Luna offers a sympathetic smile. “It’s alright Null. Just try not to make a habit out of it.”
I nod with a smile, then look at my watch. Hm… looking around for a clock, I find one on the bedside table, and walk over to it. Comparing my watch, I find they aren’t in sync, and adjust my watch accordingly. And by that I mean I fiddled with the buttons until they read out the same time. Said time happened to be a little past six in the afternoon. Wait a minute… “Luna? How long was I asleep for?”
“Well, you fell asleep yesterday at two in the afternoon…” she glances over to her clock. “I’d say you were asleep for twenty seven hours, give or take. It was your first time sleeping in so long, I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Twenty seven hours? Jesus…”
“What’s a Jesus?” she asks with a tilt of her head.
“I’m not entirely sure…” I trail off.
She stays quiet for a moment. “It’s funny… after so long… I don’t actually know what to say to you. I thought it would be easy to talk to you… but it’s just not.”
“I don’t see why that would be. You can still tell me anything, nothing’s changed. Except I can actually talk back now.” I state.
“True… it’s still difficult though…”
We fall into companionable silence after that. After a moment, I suddenly feel a lurching pain in my stomach. Grabbing my stomach and groaning, I lay on the bed. “Lunaaaaa….. My stomach hurts… what does that mean?”
She raises an eyebrow. “How do you not know what your own body is telling you?”
“Excuse me princess, but I’ve lost all sense of self years ago. I have no idea what these body signals mean.” I say a bit more snidely then I meant to.
A look of regret overtakes her features, and she motions towards me. “Right… sorry. That was insensitive of me…” she clears her throat. “It probably means you’re hungry. You haven’t eaten since you got here, and I don’t know when the last time you ate before… before that, was.”
I let out a sigh. “It’s okay Luna. You didn’t mean anything by it.”
She nods. “Dinner should be ready soon. We can head down to the dining hall now if you’d like?”
I nod. “Yes, pleeassee… anything to get rid of this pain.” getting to my feet, I clip my backpack on again and follow Luna as she heads out the door. “I don’t remember hunger being this painful.”
“Again, you haven’t eaten in a long time. It’s the most probable cause.” she states in a matter of fact way.
I shrug and continue following her. “At this point, you’d probably know more about my body than I do. And you don’t even know what I am.”
She looks back at me curiously. “That’s a good point actually… what are you?”
I chuckle but stop when I realize I don’t remember. Hm…
I stop by a window and look at myself in the reflection. My eye stares back at me, and it’s a little unsettling. I’ve had it for years, but I never really lived with it… never really got to look at it either. Pushing that aside, using my eye on myself tells me exactly what I am.
“I’m a human apparently.” I state casually.
“Apparently?” she parrots.
“Yeah. I wasn’t sure so I examined myself.”
“With your eye?” she questions.
Turning back to her, I motion for her to continue leading the way. As she does, I answer her question. “Yeah. As much trouble as it’s caused me, it’s got its uses.”
We arrive at a set of double doors, and Luna opens them. Inside, candid chatter can be heard coming from inside. Upon looking inside, I can feel anger and a migraine growing in my head. Inside, three to each side of a long ornate dining table, is the six element bearers. At the head of the table, looking directly at me, is Celestia herself. Upon seeing me, her eyes widen in a bit of fear, but she does her best to compose herself. Twilight Sparkle, who was talking to her, noticed her change in mood, and Looked to where Celestia was. As a result, her mood changed from happy to concerned and slightly fearful. It was a similar process for the rest of their little entourage. Looking at them, they all cringed when my gaze landed on them; even Celestia herself cringed a bit.
“Well… This should be interesting...”
Great chapter! Looking forward to the next one!
Knowledge and understanding is the greatest tool one could hope to have. You might have him steal Karnak's shtick, the perception and exploitation of stress points and fracture lines. 'tis a very useful skill, the ability to perceive just the right place and way to shatter something with a brisk strike.
But then, Karnak complemented his insight with rigorous physical training and discipline, Null's fourteen year old body might be simply incapable of emulating such feats.
I can see him developing some level of precognition in the future. Him seeing into future up to a short period of time sounds reasonable with that eye of his.
People complaining about swearing:
What is this? Kindergarten?
Another great chapter, felt a little short, but I'm used to reading 5k word per chapter so no biggie.
As for abilities; might I suggest something I call "Soul Sight"?
It takes inspiration from the phrase/quote "The eyes are the doorway to the soul. " In this case meaning that Null will be able to see the person's, or pony's, true intentions. You can take that as you will, ranging from being a suped up lie detector to accurately telling how they feel at that very moment.
I think that offensive ability is fine to have. It seems powerful because it almost broke Celestia's shield but still had the drawback of hurting him. Plus, while the main "danger" of the eye is the information gathering he still needs some way to defend himself and this seems to work fine!
as for the swearing I think it just took me out of it because it was the bluntest way to express he's angry, nevertheless sorry if we hammered it in a little too much.
Anyways! I'm loving this story and every chapter is a joy! thanks for writing it!
Oh no, the Eye that got him imprisoned in stone is dangerous! Oh whatever shall we do!?
God damn it, people who complain about that are just pricks. And why do you think Celestia decided to stone him? Coz of espionage potential?
Anyway, great chapter as always!
I guess now he can predict the next ten seconds or something.
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But could he leap past them?
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Don't know where y'all got that idea? He doesn't have precognition.... Maybe later he will be not right now.
Will our troubled protagonist do the stupidly dramatic thing and sit down to dinner with Celestia and company?
Or will he be smart about things and *Nope* the hell out of there to avoid committing murder?
Tune in for the exciting continuation next chapter!
Personally i didn't mind the swearing. But if you had ponies do it too, it would be weird.
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Sounds a bit OP and unnecessary when he outright suspects everyone except Luna of being out to get him at the moment.
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i must say your profile pic work for me.the mix of Kenpachi and Wilson Fisk is oddly pleasing
The guy that had the eye before him, tried to end all life. Yeah the eye would have to be op for that. I happen to like your idea that like the sharengan it puts strain on him and is currently more a curse then a blessing. Celestia is a pragmatist to jer core for something to so scare her that she stonea someone just for having it, that has to be apocalyptic. Also, you already did go light on the swearing. The words I would be using would be in multiple languages and a lot more creative. That being said. I hope Null can be civil. Anger like that burns everyone, more so the one that carries it. For his sake I hope he works through it.
If people are a bit miffed that the eye has an offensive capability, then how in the world should there be any tension? ( can’t find the word I’m looking for) basically, what I’m saying we still don’t know all of the eyes capabilities, (still being development in story and in the author admitted it) wasn’t there an known someone who stated that the last person who had that the eye, yeeted the world to the brink of disaster?
As for the request to add any abilities you want to add to the eye.... maybe have some inspirations or use abilities from video games? I’m getting the feeling that the eye should have a ton of utility, since it may no longer have any more offensive capabilities. Like determine someone’s health and have night vision?
Here’s a link for eye powers I guess,
https://powerlisting.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Ocular_Powers
A possible ability could be a basic kind of shield that activates immediately when a threat appears (as in is directly attacking the facial/chest area). It won't be too strong, maybe enough to stop a timberwolf or Rainbow attacking at sub-sonic speeds. Something like the average unicorn mana blast (at that average unicorn's full strength).
It seems wise to want to defend itself.
Perhaps the ability to levitate something if he stares at it for a few seconds?
yes? no?
Interesting stories. Tracked and both upvoted.
Looking forward to more.
My only issue with this story wasnt the swearing, if anything that felt completely appropriate, if not underwelming. This kid underwent probably the worst torture in human history and he's not supposed to be hateful and livid when he comes out? Honestly, he'd be justified in treating the ponies like literal shit for the rest of his life
Good stuff! I am having trouble visualizing this eye but its giving me Millennium Eye vibes lol
Out of curiosity, is the eye inspired by something or original? I cant help but feel that there is some source material. If explaining involves spoiling things then forget I asked :P
Telekinesis.
"I've got a bone to pick with you!"
I for one think that you should do how you like it, if you want your character to swear, do it...
What is the eye? Is it a game reference or did you make it up completely.
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It's original, not a reference to anything; at least not intentionally. I was thinking about stuff, and I was like. Hmm. Inspecting items in game is an interesting thing. Was reminded of the "scan" or "Libra" ability from the final fantasy games. Luna just went from there. It being an eye just made sense as you examine things with your eyes.
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I'm just making a reference.
To the people complaining about swearing:
If you were trapped in a statue for /2000/ years... from age what? 14? You'd be swearing a lot too. Assuming you'd be sane. Considering he was still mentally recovering and getting his life back.
Swearing is a tool humans use to express the foulest of emotions. They use it to deride, degrade, and debase. When one is feeling the worst they possibly can, people explode out with words that bring those feelings to light. People, in this day and age, somehow think its actually wrong to feel and somehow express these emotions. Why? Because it breaks the group mindset and status quo. When someone is suffering like that, angry like that, or being that cruel, it triggers a natural threat response in humans. Its a very deep part of our brains that says 'Oh this is wrong, someone should do something to fix it' and then the Somebody Else's Problem happens, where 'Someone /else/ should do something to fix it' because human survival instinct kicks in. Going near such powerful emotions is dangerous. Either anger, sorrow, or perversity. Its threatening.
So I understand why people disliked it being in the story, but it had its place. I would like to see any of you who were complaining do better if you were in a similar situation.
People think vulgarities are simply lazy, but they're not. Like cliche, like tropes, they're merely tools for storytelling. The difference between them is that vulgarities cause the Threat response and trigger irrational emotion which in turn causes dislike. Some people have thicker skin then others, some are raised puritanical enough that even mentioning such a word is /scandalous/. Sad, but its how they exist. But they are part of our language, and part of our nature as humans.
So write what you like, Deka. You're wonderful and this story is excellent.
Superman vision, a bell to see really far away and can create illusions
bet my ass you also really did forget about it, skitz :P
Thanks for toning back the swearing! I appreciate you being willing to take the readers' input on that. ^^
DUDE LOOK IN YOUR WALLET YOU MIGHT FIND AN ID! I mean I know he's only 14 but there could be SOMETHING! A school ID, maybe!
I wonder why his eye didn't tell him his name, if it can examine everything about someone? It told him the Element Bearers' names.
Editing Note:
The word "inside" is used four times in the span of three sentences; seems excessive?
This gonna be good..
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Well I mean, how else would you describe inside? Kinda one of the only options without dipping into some strange lingo
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Less suggesting word choice, more suggesting limiting the quantity?
Ex: "I can hear candid chatter coming from inside. Upon looking through the doors, I feel anger and a migraine growing in my head. Inside, three to each side of a long ornate dining table, are the six element bearers."
Still uses 'inside', but cuts it down to two uses within three sentences, so it doesn't feel repetitive.
Nice.
A twenty seven sleep would do wonders for his mental state. Sleep is, after all, our bodies maintenance mode.
I hope he feels a little more whole.
Looking forward to more. I like this.
9623911 I just realized that petrification is the pony equivalent of solitary confinement and a teenager endured a punishment that would break hardened criminals.
He didn't remember about being human and had to use his eye? That must mean he also doesn't remember what's safe for humans to eat, or what's poisonous. Could be useful for a neat chapter that causes him to over-rely on his eye for a while.
For an ability how about old good weakness vision?
Okay, now you just made him far too nice, it's jarring. You do not calm down that quickly... Ehh, I guess it will have to do.
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I mean... He was asleep for 27 hours. How do you feel when you wake up on your own terms? Kinda indifferent towards everything, yeah? Just wanna chill until you feel awake enough to do something. Couple that with a couple flash backs that trigger a fear reaction. He's calm for the moment. Nothing says it'll stay that way
Personally, I liked the overload (weapon) effect with his eye, allowing him to do damage but him receiving damage.
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Haha, yeah, I can just see him trying some hay or horse food, and just being so in the moment of actually eating something, he doesn't notice how horrible it tastes or how hard it is for him to actually eat. A few hours later, he would have some god awful gas and some pretty bad constipation. He would probably use his eye on food to tell if its ok for him to eat.
On a side note, he could probably find out what his original name is from a card in his wallet or something. Or he could pull up his phone (probably a lot less useful now that he's got access to the eye's power) and watch the recordings he made to demonstrate how he actually ended up where he is.
Putting this here mostly to make sure continuity is preserved, this is usually the point where writers stray from the past or forget what has happened.
Good job so far, I'm glad the swearing is going to be toned down, he was very emotional and disoriented after waking up, so excessive swearing could be put as a coping mechanism, along with being an immature young teen that hasn't quite gotten the hang of using "the swears" with the proper weight and frequency. They should probably fade out over time to the point where its used in appropriate accommodations, rather than constantly and unnecessary. We're probably a ways out though, it would probably come near the end or after his recovery.
I'm eager for the next chapter, keep up the good work!
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I'm not entirely sure you didn't know this already and were just typing fast, but this site has an italics button. We also got a few more things as well.
Prediction: Antagonist appears within an undetermined number of chapters wielding the 'Right Eye'.
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believe me, I'm a proof reader, so I know all about watching for continuity. I'm constantly going back to previous chapters to make sure everything lines up before I post a new chapter. why do you say the phone less useful now? aside from not being able to call anyone? he's still got that solar charger in the bag.
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don't know why that matters...?
Spell shock? ;3
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Well, to me, it looks like the eye is a super advanced piece of magi-tech that far outclasses the cellphone. And what kind of super advanced magitech wouldn't be able to do all the things a phone can? It would still be useful until he gets the hang of the eye so it doesn't really cost him anything to use. Maybe it can take pictures or play simple games? Maybe it can project holograms?
I'm probably wrong about it being advanced magitech, but that's what it looks like.
Now that I think about it, he could probably bring equestria's technology forward several years with that eye telling him how the phone works and was built.
Well, no surprise that he has PTSD.
Oh boy next chapter is gonna be gooood!
This is going to be interesting. How will they react? Accuse him, excuse themselves, beg? Either way there's no real explaination for what happened.
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while an interesting and thought provoking theory, it is pretty much completely incorrect. can't take pictures, can't play games, can't play music. it's a magical artifact. origins are... still undecided on, but still. it isn't technological in any sense of the word.