Equestria's Firefist Ace

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moviemaster8510

moviemaster8510 #1 · Apr 25th, 2019 · 2 · ·

{Displaced}

BradyBunch

BradyBunch #2 · Apr 25th, 2019 · 4 · ·

9587681

Footsteps could be heard behind Sombra as the evil king turned back seeing a human man walk towards him. Ace was more serious looking now, still lighthearted and was also taller and more muscular than most creatures his met on his journey. He also sported rather childish freckles, his most pride part was a tattoo he had on his back, the white beard symbol. Purple bones formed in a cross behind a purple skull with a white mustache. Ace had another tattoo on his upper left bicep that spells "ASCE" He wore black boots, black knee-length shorts with an eyelet-studded orange belt, and a blue pouch belted around his left leg. He also wore a short second belt with a large red "A" on the silver buckle over his right hip, but left it unfastened and threaded the free end along the back of his shorts. A dagger in a green sheath hung at his left hip, he wore a log pose and a red and white striped bracelet around his wrist, an orange elbow guard, and his "ASCE" tattoo. He wore a red beaded necklace and an orange hat with two blue Roger Smileys, one frowning and one smiling, and a string of red beads sitting above the rim. Two long orange side straps hung down sides of his hat and met at a large medallion of a bull's skull with orange tassels.

Oh no!...When a quarter of the chapter is given to describing his physical appearance, that's how you know this is going to be bad. I skimmed over this part when I read it. Before this, I was quickly skimming over it, trying my best to find out if the author was a troll or not. Then, suddenly, this wall of text smacks me in the face and I go stumbling. Don't you just hate it when a person just keeps talking and talking and talking about something useless and creating a wall of text that no one will read! You'd think they'd stop after a while, but they just keep on talking! You start to wonder, "What's wrong with this idiot?" But noooo, they just keep on talking long after anyone's interested. People who talk all the time without taking a break to legibly speak always get on my nerves!

Maybe they're just not very self-aware.

...Which is another thing that gets on my nerves!

DisplacedWriter

DisplacedWriter #3 · Apr 25th, 2019 · 1 · ·

Welp, guess this guy doesn't listen to advice... How many displaced are you gonna waste your time making anyhow? You ever gonna try and focus on only one and make some progress? Another issue you'll be causing is killing reader's interest since you never update or finish what you started.

moviemaster8510