Harry Potter and the Little Pony Problem
One Little Unicorn
- - ⚡ - -
Most wizarding students spend their summers divided between doing holiday homework and doing very little at all. In most regards, Harry Potter was most certainly not any ordinary wizarding student, and this summer certainly proved it.
For starters, since Uncle Vernon’s sister Aunt Marge had made plans to visit the Dursley residence for several days, the spare bedroom needed to be brought up to her exacting standards. That meant all of the things in it that might disturb, disorient, or otherwise bother the bothersome old woman needed to be moved somewhere out of the way. And that meant into Harry’s new room, which was crowded enough already with Dudley’s discarded rubbish.
In Harry’s opinion, which bore no weight, of course.
To make matters worse, the woodwork in the spare bedroom needed a good scrubbing, and Harry was designated as the scrubber. Several summer days of wearing oversized rubber gloves and applying a watery brown liquid to anything that looked wooden left Harry barely enough strength to crawl into bed at the end of the day, and his nose constantly ran. Then there was wallpaper for the inside of the house, and paint for the outside, and cleaning the windows between inside and outside until they almost looked as if there was no glass in them at all.
None of it was what a young boy who had just reached thirteen years of age would like to spend his daytime hours doing, which left his teenage activities at night even more inexplicable.
He was studying.
Barely a week after returning from Hogwarts for the summer, Harry had opened his first packet of holiday assignments. It seemed that the instructors had been worried that their students would be at a loss for useful activities to keep them active during the peaceful summer months, and as a show of support, they sent along no end of essays, problems, quizzes, and assignments to help fill those lonely teenage leisure hours.
So by day, Harry hung wallpaper or struggled with carpet, while at night he stayed bent over his cousin Dudley’s old broken desk, despite the way it tilted to one side. It only left a few hours to sleep before Aunt Petunia would wake him up and send him to make breakfast again, in a tight daily cycle of drudgery. He could imagine his friends from school flying broomsticks in the Weasley’s back yard or staying up all hours playing Exploding Snap or Gobstones, but he had little time for even imagining.
Harry supposed he could blame Hermione for most of his scholastic woes. She had constantly lectured to anyone within earshot that homework had to be completed as soon as possible, because waiting until the last minute inevitably led to ‘just a few changes’ being requested by a professor. Turning it in first before the changes came out confused the professors, or so it seemed. Plus, the date of his return to Hogwarts was creeping closer, and the last thing Harry wanted to distract him from that blessed day of freedom was to fill the days just before it filling pages with frantic scribbling.
Thankfully, Fred and George Weasley had provided him with a going-away present at the end of last school year. At first, Harry did not believe it was a serious gift instead of something out of Zonko’s Joke Shop. Ron Weasley was his best friend and would never pull a prank like sending him ink that would explode or turn into worms or some other humourous transformation. His two brothers, however…
After overcoming his perfectly rational reluctance to opening it, he found a dozen bottles of Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes Muggle-Repellent No-Blotch No-Snoop Spell Ink, guaranteed to leave wizarding homework totally unreadable by Muggles. Supposedly, any non-wizard who spotted any writing done with the lavender ink would regard them as some sort of humorless governmental speeches, while drawings were taken as childish cartoons.
Harry did not particularly believe the label. Ron’s brothers had come up with some of the most twisted practical jokes. Then again, it was ink, and he had a lot of homework to do.
Then came the evening after he had completed a two page essay on Dragon Bloodslugs, a particularly nasty parasite that liked to burrow under scales and could cause dragon colonies to suddenly collapse if not controlled. The next morning, his Aunt Petunia came across the roll of parchment while jabbing Harry awake with one long sharp finger.
When he saw the essay clutched in her hands, Harry was expecting the worst. His aunt and uncle had kept Harry under their thumbs as much as possible over the years as if they could squish the magic out of him. It seemed inevitable that Petunia’s next action would be to shriek at him until he was securely locked in his cupboard under the stairs again, which had not been large enough for him before his latest growing spurt.
To his surprise, she merely scowled at the precious essay for entirely too long, then tossed it into the rubbish bin with a lecture to Harry about keeping his room clean. Since nearly all of the clutter was Dudley’s broken toys or outgrown possessions, and he would have gotten into far more trouble for throwing any of it away, Harry merely took his lumps silently while making breakfast.
His situation was a mixed blessing. Obviously, the possibility of Harry becoming some sort of Muggle politician speechwriter had not crossed their minds, because after all it had not ever crossed Harry’s mind either. And also obviously, the ink worked just as Ron’s mischievous brothers had advertised. Without his aunt and uncle bothering him about ‘that blasted wizard nonsense’ in the evenings, he had the opportunity to get his wizarding homework done. The problem was that his pile of homework seemed to be growing whenever Harry turned his back. He would no sooner send Hedwig out at night with three or four scrolls tied to her leg than there would be a pecking at the window from one of the school owls, bringing five assignments to him.
Detailed potions setups with all of the ingredients and instructions laid out in sequential steps, including estimated times. Seventeen paragraphs on the use of Shrivelfig Extract in the treatment of magical maladies. Star charts for the next and last five years needing all of the planetary movements plotted out, along with a monthly paragraph on each one detailing the influence their phases would have on the weather. A seven scroll of parchment assignment requesting a prediction of what would have happened in the Goblin Revolutions if Gorflog the Gross had not choked on a piece of dumpling and fallen down a set of stairs, stabbing himself twelve times in the process.
The weeks and days seemed to hang in place, differentiated only by the scratching of a quill at night or scraping of sandpaper during the day. Hedwig noticed his distress also and refused to carry more than two assignments a night back to school, which left a pile of parchments heaped up behind the desk, with his legibility growing more and more scribbled with every frantic evening of study that he fell behind.
Until…
The latest assignment was to draw wand movements for every spell Harry had learned in his first two years at Hogwarts, which was actually a bit of a break compared to his normal workload. Since students were forbidden to use their magic outside of Hogwarts, he had left his wand in the desk and checked his work by waving a yellow pencil. He did not speak the words that went with the spells, because he did not want to attract his aunt and uncle’s attention. However, one thing he did not consider was that a wand was merely a focus for a wizard’s magic, and that a new pencil could under some circumstances be considered a pointed cedar wand with a graphite core, seven and a half inches long.
And more important for reasons that would become obvious later, a writing implement.
To be fair, the accident was really Hermione's fault. And Malfoy, too. They could share the blame in a few weeks when Harry went back to school. Maybe a little of the blame should fall on Fred and George too. And certainly the teachers who had assigned him the wand-working homework really deserved some of it.
He had been waving the pencil rather thoughtfully while trying to remember just exactly how Malfoy had used his own wand to summon a snake during their duel last year, when the pencil hit the inkwell. It was not a hard impact, just enough to make the glass bottle skid down the tilted desk and slosh upside-down over the back in a spray of liquid purple. The mess of dripping ink would have been bad enough except it mostly poured onto the hidden pile of backlogged homework that Hedwig had not delivered to the school yet.
Harry said a word.
It was not by nature a magical word. However, rough experience had taught him that uttering the word in the Dursley household always caused his aunt to appear moments later as if by magic. Perhaps Petunia shared a few tiny family traits with Harry’s witch mother, but whatever it was made Harry dive for his bed and yank the paperclip chain on his makeshift lamp. In a matter of moments, he was beneath the covers and feigning slumber, and a bare second after that, his bedroom door opened.
There were several sharp footsteps that echoed around the room, slightly erratic as Petunia had to make her way through the narrow path between Dudley’s discards and the piles of guest bedroom furnishings. She made a brief stop at the desk to sweep all of Harry’s recent work into the dustbin with a sniff, then paused at the side of his bed.
The unseen inspection seemed to take his aunt a very long time, but after another disapproving sniff, she tugged one corner of his sheets up over an exposed elbow, then picked her way back out of the bedroom and closed the door. Harry held himself very still to ensure Petunia was not still watching before taking a brief peek out from under the edge of the sheets, thankful that the cluttered bedroom had no sign of his aunt.
“That was close,” he whispered, easing himself out of bed and over to the desk, where he stopped cold.
Harry’s wand was secured inside the desk, but a proper wizard only needs a wand to cast spells. Even a young wizarding student like Harry could recognize the effects of a spell in the process of casting itself. Dripping and dribbling bits of lilac ink carried brilliant sparks around the back of his desk, and Harry managed to hit his head when he ducked underneath it to do… whatever one does when ones pile of homework was in the process of unmaking itself. If Harry had been a much more experienced wizard, he might have been able to identify and stop whatever was fizzing to completion before it exploded and brought his aunt and uncle storming into the room.
Then there was a small popping noise, no louder than a soap bubble, and the sparking lights inside the rumpled pile of paper abruptly went out. It was far from what Harry expected. Most spell failures in school involved whizzing pieces of the experiment and flying fellow students all over the room, then a quick trip to Madame Pomfrey’s hospital wing to assess the damage and point loss.
Tonight, the consequences were far worse than just losing House points. At any second, he expected a letter from the Ministry of Magic, also whizzing in the window by way of an overstressed owl.
There was no whizzing this time, only some rustling deep inside the pile of papers. Harry scrambled for the desk drawer, but did not actually grab his wand because his previous experience with the Ministry of Magic rules forbidding underaged wizards the use of magic outside of the school. Also, whatever was making the noise was small, about the size of a rat or an Eeeping Whimbugger, both of which were relatively harmless. He picked up his pencil instead, and used it to move aside sheets of dripping parchment until he found the source of the noise.
It was a tiny little purple unicorn, small enough it could have sat on his hand.
At first, he hoped it was some sort of stuffed toy, perhaps something left by Aunt Marge’s dog on her last trip. Then the tiny unicorn looked up at him with big eyes, smiled, and spoke in a pleasant, high-pitched voice.
“Hello. My name is Twilight Sparkle. Who are you?”
First comment reserved for the author. Welcome to the Wizarding World of Twilight Sparkle, fun-sized. I'm publishing now under Georg's April Foolishness, because otherwise it might not see the light of day for months, and since S9 is coming, I thought I better show it off.
Although there are quite a few stories about tiny ponies on the site, I have to give credit to J.K. Rowling for the whole Harry Potter series first. Next is CommanderX5 and his letting me edit parts of Celestia's Tiny Student, which really started me thinking about the concept. And Dogger807 Magic School Days and tkepner's If Wishes Were Ponies, of course, which I'm following.
However, the core credit for this belongs to JediMasterEd, OldenBrony, and Bob Newhart
If the picture and description don't clue you in on what the story is about, here is some background music...
Ah, I remember this story. I really enjoyed it the first time it came out. Can't wait to see how it concludes.
I wonder how the Ministry is going to take this accidental casting without a “wand” is going to go?
I do love the implication that graphite is a magical material. Clearly the wands of the future will use nanotubes.
In any case, wonderful to see this begin in earnest. Eagerly looking forward to seeing what comes of it.
9548728 Remember, the Ministry had no idea that Dobby was using magic in Harry's house just last year. They track the casting of magic by underaged wizards, after all, and this summoning spell just happened by itself. Or did it?
9548697 Yeah, I teased the heck out of this, mostly as encouragement for me to keep going.
Missing a period after “controlled.”
9548757 Corrected.
9548749
"So, do you like it? 27.5cm carbon fibre with iridium cladding and a synthetic sapphire core. It clocks out at 4.5 EPS⁽*⁾ with optional overclocking in emergencies, and has WiFi connectivity, although it's only 4G right now. When 5G comes out, I'll have to upgrade."
(*) Enchantments per Second, as measured by the Association for Wand Standardization and Safety.
Hum, could be interesting to read more. I take it Twilight is still a filly and hasn't yet become Celestia personal student yet in this story, I am sure she will devour all the wizard material that Hogwards has to offer and then some even skip to three years of wizard study in the process.
By the way, I have done quite a few number of cover art here in fimfiction if you are ever interested in looking me up some time if you are looking to commission one for yourself. Good luck on your writing.
https://www.deviantart.com/amalgamzaku
9548753
Well if Harry has any brains he could contact the Ministry and inform them while doing his schoolwork a magical mishap occurred and he needs their help. The Ministry can mind wipe the Dursley’s every 3 minutes for added measure. Then again we all know Harry isn’t that smart.
9548843
And that the Ministry will blame him for it anyway.
9548749 The most powerful magical material, however, is Chuck Norris.
One little, two little, three little unicorns!
Four little, five little, six little unicorns!
Seven little, eight, little, nine little unicorns!
Now it's time to drink their BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!
Of COURSE you'd summon twiggles by sacrificing homework.
I'm suddenly wondering if Vernon is angling for an inheritance. Which seems unlikely as she is his sister. I think I'm going to create a headcanon where she is his elder sister and made his life a living hell growing up and he's only too pleased to provide her with a target that is not him.
9548924
Well, it's a good thing Professor Quirell is dead, then…
It's always funny when the Little part of MLP is emphasized.
Just gonna go ahead and add this to my 'read later' shelf. It's starting to get rather long. I think I got 15 stories in there or something.
9549299
AMATEUR! My read later pile is 150 stories and growing! The reading will last FOREVER!!
9549306 (looks at my read later list)
(quietly slips away)
I'm good until about 2050.
9549306
Well... yep, you got me beat. Of course, I'm following 60 something stories, and have 70 something stories favourited. You?
9549316
Because I have the attention span of a caffeinated weasel, my breakdown is:
Favourites:
Active: 60
Haven't updated in over a year: 97
Completed: 450
I keep re-reading: 38
Following:
Active: 139
Haven't updated in over a year: 142
(I don't track completed unless they're favourites.)
Please understand. It's not my intention that I'm better than you; what I'm saying is help. Please help.
9549333
Eh, nothing wrong with a little competition. Of course, I shall lose gracefully.
Someone at my work once said; "it's not a competition, but if it were, I'd be winning." Lol.
9549312
Heheh. No comment.
9549342
I try to find longer stories if I can, but if the author is good enough (such as georg and irrespective), I'll read one-shots and shorter stories. Also comedy. Probably why I tend to have less stories in my 'RL' list than some. I also remove stories from my following list if they haven't been updated in more than a year (unless I really, REALLY like the story and still hold some sliver of hope for it).
9549368
Whereas I just re-filed them.
9549387
Well, see, there ya go! Hahaha, so does this mean I win, or am I just a sore loser? And after all that talk of losing gracefully. Sigh.
And I start reading yet another Harry Potter/MLP fic. At least I caught this one on the first chapter.
9548896
Chuck Norris's wand is a fist.
9549420
A twelve-inch foot with a fist core?
9549351 Yes, but there are some competitions I would prefer not to engage in. (Then again, it is the future...)
9549461
Hey, we can't all be winners. lol, I'm kidding.
Nice to see this
hehehe. anyone else notice that while all the other various beings seem to be looking at the reader/Harry, a certain little (read: big) stallion is staring at a certain mare's plot in the cover art?
So now the question is, do the Dursleys let him keep her inside because she's already tiny and shouldn't cause much trouble (pfffft), or do they make him either get rid of her or make her sleep outside (or something to that degree) because she's just more magic rubbish that they need to deal with?
9548766
so, the future wand justy has 4G as cellphone wifi? disapppppointeen
9548896
9549420
non non... Chuck E. Noris' wand ain't a fist... Chuck E. Norris' fist is a wand (with every measurement being Chuck E. Noris)
9548994
mmmm... the theorem holds some meritum... will has to do research....
9549306
9549299
9549312
welp, I just have 85 chapters in 2 stories, and since one is a Yang-centric RWBY Crossover I must say I'm at the doors of eternal Dalmation, considering I'll fall into Pun hell
A Harry Potter X FIM Crossover written by Georg????
You have my attention!
9549790
Corrected it for you.
Now what in blazes is this? A strange idea to be sure, but a promising one.
everyone but the Dursleys and me: *looks at adorkable purple/lilac/any number of other shades of purple pony and clutches chest* "Hnnnng."
Dursleys: *still under effects of the ink* "Hahahahahahahaha. Playing with dolls boy?"
Me: "Hahahahahaha. This will be interesting to watch."
9548896
but you are wrong. Chuck Norris doesn't need to use magic to make things happen. magic has to ask Chuck Norris if it is allowed to do something.
9549351
that phrase, i do not think it means what you think it means.
Hnnng! Halp! Too cute!
... using a pencil as a wand in the wizarding world um yeah not how that works, Even if that somehow worked it's still wouldn't work. Sorry just really hated it, and in all honestly could've just made it a twilight accident.
9550582
Maybe because he used the pencil instead of the wand that cause the summon to reduce in size?
Well, this has my attention. Can't wait to see more.
That is a bizarrely high amount of summer assignments
Hmmm... This story reads vaguely familiar... I like it anyway
Ruled a suicide in 12 minutes, a new record by Lusshpelt the Coroner, himself dying three weeks later via a self-inflicted fall out of a seven storey window, twice.
9551270
...or accidental magic. It's comedy. Cut it some slack.
(And, besides, I enjoyed it more for coming up with something creative like that. So what if graphite isn't sufficiently magical as a core to make a proper wand?)
9742758
I'd say that the stuff you can put to paper with a pencil is pretty magical in its own right.