Keep your filthy pity

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a creature who has been in Tartarus for 300 is now released and being reformed by the elements of harmony. but can they handle a creature who enjoys the tears of foals? will this creature’s story be told?

the creatures are from Keep in Mind

Chapters (3)

prologue: Spirits of old · 20th Mar 2019 · 441 words
441
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Chapter 1 the old Friends · 20th Mar 2019 · 577 words
577
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Chapter 2 Lower Tartarus · 23rd Mar 2019 · 471 words
471
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Comments ( 13 )

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Valuable Ashes

Valuable Ashes #1 · Mar 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 the old Friends ·

Really? The game that taught me to rethink my life and morals?

MarblePieLover

MarblePieLover #2 · Mar 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 the old Friends ·

9518866
yeah...

MarblePieLover

MarblePieLover #3 · Mar 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 the old Friends ·

9518990
and?

Valuable Ashes

Valuable Ashes #4 · Mar 21st, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 the old Friends ·

9519057
Thing is, the game scared me. I was young and I did not know that death was a huge thing to people. I changed after watching a playthrough on YouTube. Came back again on the same video when I was older and learned a few more things that my child self didn't understand like the "this looks high enough" part.

Comment posted by MarblePieLover deleted Mar 21st, 2019

MarblePieLover

MarblePieLover #6 · Mar 21st, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 the old Friends ·

9520333
Realy sorry that this brought back bad memory’s...

Valuable Ashes

Valuable Ashes #7 · Mar 21st, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 the old Friends ·

9520340
It's fine but the feeling is still there. Hope you continue this.

MarblePieLover

MarblePieLover #8 · Mar 21st, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 the old Friends ·

9520607
oh...thank you.

shadowling

shadowling #9 · Mar 27th, 2019 · · · Chapter 2 Lower Tartarus ·

This seems like a good story, keep up the good work!

MarblePieLover

MarblePieLover #10 · Mar 27th, 2019 · · · Chapter 2 Lower Tartarus ·

9531922
oh thanks...if ya want to do a reading ya can!

Golden Fang Ryu Shenron

Golden Fang Ryu Shenron #11 · Aug 30th, 2019 · · · prologue: Spirits of old ·

Then using the power he was gifted with he filled it with hope and called it a “earth pony”. “Welcome my child.” Hope said to the small pony..but the pony could not hear him or see him. The pony was afraid and alone. So Hope made the pony a friend but put a spiral seashell on the forehead. He called it a “unicorn” and gifted it with life and magic. The two were happy together they played together. Until a snowstorm came and the two grew very cold and sick. So using the snow and clouds Hope made another pony but this time gathered feathers left behind by the birds who have flown south and put them into the back. He called this pony a “Pegasus.” and gave it the ability to fly and control weather so it can clear the sky's to help its new friends.

Friendship is something to behold.

These ponies played together in peace and harmony. The other creatures came along and wanted to help. Hope looked at the creatures and thought “For every sun. The rain must come” and allowed them to help. Giving the ponies hopelessness but also hope. Reclusion but also bravery. Paranoia but also Reason. Greed but also Helpfulness.
When the ponies started to take over the land they realized they had no place to go. So they made a portal. A portal to a black void of nothingness. They call this place ”the mindivese” there they made it home. And they still stay there to this day watching over all the little ponies and giving them their feelings and desires. Weather good. Or bad.

Doesn't look like either outcome is guaranteed. Also, you had these paragraphs a bit closed in, so I put a space.

Twilight sparkle closed the book. She couldn’t believe it. Creatures who made ponies from mud and grass? Impossible. Ponies have been around for a very long time. there was no way these creatures existed. “oh well” she sighed and when to bed. she had a big day tomorrow it was going to be her first day at Celesita’s school for gifted unicorns. she grabbed a nice glass of water. and when up to bed. but not before looking at the book she was reading and huffed at it “just a silly made up story nothing more. nothing less.” and with that she went to bed.

Oh yeah? I beg to differ Twilight.

Golden Fang Ryu Shenron

Golden Fang Ryu Shenron #12 · Aug 30th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 the old Friends ·

Celestia and Luna were waiting by the tree. “Are you sure about this sister?” said Luna to her older sister. Celestia only replied with a nod “if anypony would understand. It would be him” Luna then nodded in agreement at the statement brought by her older sibling. Twilight sparkle ran up to them with spike on her back “You wanted to see me Princess?” Celestia chuckled at this. “Twilight. Just call me Celestia. We are both royalty.” she said with a calming smile. “Now then my old student. Are you ready to see my Friends?” twilight was excited by this but looked around noticing there was only the 4 of them there and tilted her head in confusion. “But i don’t see anypo-” in a flash of light the four vanished.

Oh boy, here it comes!!!

Twilight had almost finish her sentence when she look around and noticed darkness all around them except of some hallways and a large desk. “w-where are we?!” she said. Celestia calmly walked up to the desk and rang a small bell. a small creature suddenly appeared who was all white and had a large red eye and a big grin. “May i help you?” the creature asked. “we are here to see Hope.” said Celestia....hope the word shocked twilight. could this be the place she read about as a foal? could this be were the creators of pony kind lived? “right this way” said the creature who had name tag that read “Helpfulness”. the ponies and dragon fallowed Helpfulness down the hallways passing doors that read names of others like “Defeat” “Bravery” “Joy” and “ChAoS” ..that last one reminded her of discord...WAS DISCORD ONE OF THEM!?

I would not put it past him!!!

Helpfulness then came to a full stop at a bright birch door that read “hope”. Celestia then opened the door slowly. suddenly a old wise British voice spoke “Tia. Wasn’t expecting you for another hour. now your just trying to impress me.”

Hmmmmmm.

Celestia laugh at this and ushered the others to come inside. as Twilight walked in she made a mental note of all the thing around her. Wooden Oak walls. Bookcases. and a single window showing a grass filled meadow. it was a calming place. then she saw Hope. He was tall had an alligator like mouth but unlike the others...he didn’t have a red eye..and also walked on two legs. he seemed scary but his voice assured that he meant no harm. “so.” said Hope “Anypony for tea?” Celestia smiled warmly at this. “we would love some.” she said. but Hope could tell that there was something bothering her. he could see it...in her eyes.

Something is indeed bothering our Solar Goddess.

Golden Fang Ryu Shenron

Golden Fang Ryu Shenron #13 · Aug 30th, 2019 · · · Chapter 2 Lower Tartarus ·

The five sat at a table that was so fancy rarity would fall in love with it. The table was made of marble and had a silk red cloth covering it. “So Tia” said Hope sipping some tea into his crocodile like mouth “what is it that you want to talk about? I can tell you didn’t come here just for chit-chat.” Celestia got nervous thinking of what Hope would say if she wanted to reform HIM but she finely was able to say it “old friend” she said “we want to reform HIM.” Celestia closed her eyes preparing for an argument. But was met with Hope sipping his tea and silently thinking to himself. After a long moment of silence he said “Very well.” then got up from the table and breathed deeply causing a red vortex to open up “come.” he said and walks into the portal with the 3 princesses and the baby dragon following.

Him???

It was dark and lava was surrounding the area that only had one cage with a large hydra guarding it. They walked up to the hydra it raised its six heads but they were the heads of...ponies! “WHO DARES DISTURB THE GREAT SCYL- oh hi Hopeykins!” the creature yelled in a female southern voice “and the princesses too! Golly are ya here for HIM?” she said. “Yes Scylla we are here for my Brother” hope said with a smile as the hydra named Scylla moved out of the way revealing a white creature with red eyes a crocodile like mouth and a wolf like body siting on a chair reading a newspaper “Why hello brother dearest. I see you have brought your little puppets.” said the creature with a voice that sound alluring but creepy and deep at the same time “its been awhile, hasn’t it? I’m glad you’ve come to visit me brother. I know it must be hard to find the time, in your busy, pathetic life.” the creature spoke. “Stop thy foolishness Manipulation! You know why we are here!” Luna shouted to the creature as it laughed under its breath then said “you want me to be reformed? You really can’t be serous.” suddenly the eye of Hope turned Blue and a crack and pop was herded from the creature as it screamed in pain in a blinding light.

Looks like this will be harder than they thought...then again, when is reforming a villain ever easy?

the creature was gone and in its place was a tall stallion unicorn with a messy mane and tail, blood red eyes and a cutie mark of a puppet being controlled by strings. “w-what did you do to me?!” he said. hope simply snicker and opened the cage. “now dear brother. ms Twilight will take you to your new home” said Hope. Twilight was shocked she was suppose to take care of that thing?! this was gonna be a wild ride.

A very wild one!!!

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