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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That was so badass that whole fight scene was so good Rayne using his powers and trying to protect Zecora while keeping the Timberwolves at bay soooo good and when he finally absorbed one I was so worried when he said it was still alive but when he reformed it as his own wolf, holy shit! gah it was just so awesome!
Oh gods damn it Discord I was really hoping that they wouldn't have to see it I'm glad that those feathers were there otherwise Discord may have suspected something I wonder why those ravens are following Rayne around I know ravens are portents of death but I feel like something fishy is going on I wonder how Celestia will react to the news of Tirek's death
Love that ending scene stay awesome
Hahaha wonderful fight scene you have given us. I'm surprised the Timberwolves didn't just outright die like other story I have read, I like your interpretation of them even more than those story now Rayne have a small pack of obsidianwolves thought they need a better name for them, obsidianwolves is kinda a mouthful, I have to ask can they fusion?, zecora part being so worry for Rayne is cute.
Finally gotten to see how the girls reacted to late Lord tirek death, unfortunately my guess 2 out of 5? Where correct and *clap clap* discord your a prick and sametime it had to be done it nice for flutter to give Spike and rare sometime together. In all honesty I thought Rayne and discord where in a same place and speaking in sync in the last scene it took twice to read that part.
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Why Raven following Rayne around? simple: magic.
All in all I would guess Equestria have not seen death more precise murder in a very very long time, the land is control by the tree of harmony murder is ain't that very harmony'ies I would say or maybe the Raven is a sign of a bad omen to come.
So When rayne tell the truth also what next Villains Will there magic absorb by him also Will rayne have grogar magic also known as necromancy?.
Also more please.
Well since tirek Death what happened to centaur races When they hear the new that tirek death Also what their reaction.
What is reaction of princess luna and princess celestia.
So if rayne is absorb villain power would'nt that make discord a Villains why he not kill him and take his chaotic power but that make Mane six including fluttershy sad also When you ship discord and fluttershy? .
Can you Make that happen.
When chryssalis show up?.
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Rayne made a deal with discord to have knowledge in telekinesis, teleportation and werepanther Early on in chapter 2 or 3? I forgot what chapter is it , Rayne told discord about his unknown feeling for Fluttershy making discord fall in Rayne plan to keep Rayne secret of not being truly a pony, beside discord is Rayne best bro his the only one who can get Rayne human joke. For Rayne taking discord magic will be a challenge being discord a "God of chaos" is the one who gave Rayne his starter magic, now Rayne having half of the town magic and other magical being in him is not enough to fight off discord if discord discover Rayne past action so he need more power. If Rayne face goat boi too soon it will be the end game of this story 'the end of it'
The princesses reaction is let to be seen, for the centaur race I forgot that they are more out there and beside tirek is a thousand years from the past doubt anyone would remember or know him now, he was in Tartarus most of his life, only grogar and chryssi are the only villains left that I know off unless you count the pony of shadow those two are what left, maybe our favorite writer decided to add a villain of his own design.
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Okay wow so I really love reading all of your comments! Seriously, your thoughts and predictions are great. Even when they are off they are brilliant and when you guess close it excites me so much.
Robo, thank you for the deep thought that you always put into your comments. You always make me feel that my "little details" appreciated and as a writer that just captures my heart.
Marytryne, you must be a detective because sometimes your guesses are SO CLOSE! But I can't tell you which ones Haha. I really enjoy reading about you debating Rayne's plans. Seeing you get so interested in what he "might do" really keeps me excited to keep writing. About the Obsidianwolves, I will just ask you to wait. I'll share that Rayne never thought about naming them. That is more of what they are than what they're called. Just have patience.
And about the Ravens, several of you are starting to pick up the hints! These are excellent guesses from all of you. You still don't have it yet though. But of course, not enough has been revealed yet to get the full picture. But I'll leave you with this to think about... Why do they show up and why "don't" they show up? Hmmm...
Alfaridwan, I've mentioned before that Rayne does not know Grogar exists. In fact half way through season nine Twilight still doesn't even know that Grogar exists. I have plans for Grogar but not until my story reaches season nine. We've only just passed episode 3 of season 8. It's far too early for Grogar.
Yes Rayne and Discord are friends. Rayne respects Discord, he likes him. Power or not Rayne never intends to hurt the Draconequus. But that doesn't mean they won't run afoul each other eventually.
Alfaridwan, Rayne will never admit to what he is done until the day that he is caught red handed. And as you've read, he is SUPER careful. But, even Rayne's luck can't last forever as Zecora has pointed out to him twice now.
Marytryne, it's nice seeing you try to narrow the remaining villains down... but Rayne still has "many" options still left available to him, as you'll find out soon enough. ^_~
Okay so official statement, the centaur race that Tirek came from will not be included in my story. I have no current plans to involve them in my plot and I do not see myself changing my mind about this. It's not that I can't, it's just that isn't where the story is going.
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Yeah i know doesn't make wrong he have grogar power the necromancy that make sense as well.
Also for your like on our theory.
And Also i can't wait for more.
There's one important fact in the store that's missing there's no goat
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Thank for the compliment I really enjoy you replying to us commenters
Oh what gentle garbage Said reminded me that I need to tell you, Rayne is dangerously close becoming a Gary Sue/Mary sue need to fix that
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Wait that you mention it where is the goat in this story? Is he implying that discord is the goat or tirek? Hmmmmm
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About the "goat" I had already referred to Tirek as a goat creature several times earlier in the story. So that reference was to him.
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Hello Gentle and thank you for your review even if it wasn't a positive one. I don't expect everyone to enjoy my writing and I respect that you took the time to actually voice your opinions for what it was that you didn't care. So thank you for that.
I'm sorry to say that if seems like you missed big parts of my story. Several of the points you mentioned were things clearly explained within the writing. And I agree that other parts could have been elaborated on more. But that is the struggle for every writer, isn't it? To balance what is interesting vs what is important? I could expand every little detail into a whole chapter each... but then the main plot would never be gotten to. Inevitably there will be points that are only mentioned and are left for the reader to consider on their own for the sake of progressing the main story.
So looking at things structurally, this is a story about romances above all else. And in that, for the story to happen those romances have to work out one way or another. Some romances are short and fleeting. Others are long and powerful. The smaller ones come easier while the larger ones require more of a build up.
There are challenges to be faced and Rayne does have his flaws. Now you said you left off around chapter 8? I don't think it's too unreasonable to believe that in only about 2 days of story time that these flaws haven't revealed themself yet. Rayne has only been fooling around so far by that point in the story. And trust me when I say that you haven't gotten to him master manipulating anyone yet. He has the advantage of knowing almost the entire life of every character in the show. To be honest everything that he does in the first 20 or so chapters really didn't take a lot of effort on his part.
So about the other ponies, one thing to keep in mind is that everyone in Equestria is basically good hearted. And in my opinion Rayne does a good job of appealing to that. The ponies aren't stupid but they want to believe in the good of others as well. I.e. Raybe manipulated AJ with the element she trusts the most. Maud is not as emotional as I think you're giving her credit for and it was her idea to pick Raybe up as a one night stand and not want a relationship from him in the beginning. AJ never saw Rayne flirt with Rarity because she left. And saying that someone is a psychopath just because they would flirt with more than one woman at a time is a bit of a jump.
Now that said, you might have actually touched on one of Rayne's flaws that hasn't been dragged out into the light yet. But claiming that he should be completely emotionless just because he is going to flirt with two or more girls sounds a lot more like a negative opinion of anyone seeking to have multiple partners or live a polyamorous lifestyle.
Lastly, as for his experience the main character is a self insert based upon me personally awaking in Equestria. I am in my thirties not my teens, I have lived quite the bohemian lifestyle in my days, and to say that Rayne could not quickly adapt to this life or to know his way around a woman would be for me to write a self insert about someone else who isn't me.
Again, you don't have to like my story. Nothing in this reply was said in anger or with ill intent. This was written out of respect to you taking the time to tell me what you did not enjoy. In my thoughts it seems a shame that several of your issues stem from details that you missed in my descriptions or in things that you haven't read far enough to be explained yet. But I would not wish for anyone to make themselves struggle through my writing if they were not receiving joy from it. So from one humble writer to a reader who I respect, thank you for giving my story a chance.
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Hello again Marytryne. So yes, my self insert character being a Mary Sue is one thing that I have kept in mind about Rayne. But at the same time, building a story around specifically avoiding Mary sue traits can be equally as bad of a pit fall. My character is clever and tactful and he has amassed a lot by the point of where the story is now. But he is far from perfect and he had to work for what he has and plan it all out. If this were chapter five then I might agree with you. But at 53 chapters in I don't think that I am pushing things too fast. Rayne is rising to power, true. But it's the journey he takes to get there which is important. And not everything important in life is about power. Especially in Equestria.
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*Smirk* that only thing I need to hear, your a great writer I can see you balancing your story to be very enjoyable with or without becoming a Mary sue, beside it been stablish early on in the story that pleasure ponies are jack of all trade as Rayne is one.
PS: I wrote a very emotional draft about really loving this story but scrap it for being to long and filled with nonsense. Here have some Fluttershy
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You are amazing to have as a fan. Thank you bety much.
And if you ever decide to write it again you can always send it to me in a private message.
So, the only thing that thrown Discord off his tracks are crow feathers which everyone associated with the killer rather than accept them at a face value as normal crow feathers which happen to be in the same place. I mean, Discord is the only one in their group who knows about Rayne's alternative form and with only paw marks he'd likely made that connection.
Hmm... Seems like mind altering potion were used solely to hide the fact that he took Tirek's power. Makes perfect sense, but I somehow missed that he intentionally skipped this part when rewritten AJ's memory.
And regarding Twi's mail:
...looks like Derpy actually were replaced and certain bugs queen is near.