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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Rereading woo woo. I recognize those mares on his cutie mark
Oh damn, I like how all the characters are being developed nicely and bouncing dialogue off one another in such a entertaining way. I’m also enjoying how skillful the plot points are reconnecting to each other from the beginning of the story to this point, well done! And the transformation... boy howdy!
Ah. Those faces really stand out once you see them up close.
Chryssy?! ^-^ *squeeeeee* Yes she'll be in this story
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Oh yes, she will most DEFINITELY be a BIG part of this story. But have patience. There's a long lead up until to reach her but she definitely gets included.
(The wait will be worth it ^_~)
I'm pretty sure it's not the intent, but I can't help triple checking for a dark tag on this story. I mean, Zecora pretty much told him his magic would mind control him into doing whatever is asked of him, even if it kills him. Then tells him to come to her hut and promptly drugs him. It feels a bit... evil.
At least I'm pretty sure the only question I have left about his other form is how many legs it walks on. I like the idea Zecora thinks ponies will be scared of him and see him as some dark thing instead of it being transformation magic. Huh, since Discord was involved, is that unicorn magic or chaos? how does he change back without a horn?
Bad vibes aside, its an interesting start to a very long story, It will be fun finding out where its going. Oh and the art sprinkled around is a great extra.
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Hello there ^_^
First of all let me say thank you for taking such an interest in my story. I love seeing new readers posting questions and getting involved in my story. Now to answer your questions, yes there is absolutely a dark tag in this story. The main theme of this tale is slice of life/romance/drama... But my story definitely has its dark moments. But they are few and far between.
The scene with Zecora isn't supposed to relate to mind control. It's just, she forsees that his luck will run out eventually. But she's reassuring him that when that happens, that he'll still have a friend he can turn to. He won't be alone. Also the scene where she accidentally poisons them both with an aphrodisiac was an accident. It was just meant to be erotic and not sinister.
As for Rayne's "alternative form" it's primarily on four legs. But he could he considered ambidextrous in this sense. Also it isn't considered a 'spell.' Think of it more like a supernatural ability he can control at will.
And I'm really glad you are liking the art so far. I have some truly amazing pieces throughout the story.